Oh man, so here’s the thing. I’m a huge piece of shit grifter/inventor who is really driving his life into the ground, and I got chased by a bunch of gangsters and then fell off of a bridge (long story). One thing led to another, and now I have a massive concussion and don’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Two of a Kind?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) God’s back jack! And he ain’t happy with his angels, who’ve let the world go to shit. What’s God’s big plan for the world and what deal do the angels strike to save humanity?
2) Let’s get a little back story. Zach (Travolta) is a giant piece of trash who is being chased by gangsters. Why?
3) Debbie (Olivia Newton-John) is a bank teller and aspiring actress. Why does Zach suspect Debbie of screwing him over in his heist-turned-farce?
4) Well naturally, this odd couple falls in love (awwwwwwwww) but it all comes to a head when Zach flips on Debbie concerning the failed heist. Why does he flip on her?
5) In the end Zach totally redeems himself during an encounter with a robber who has taken Debbie hostage on the roof of a restaurant. How?
Bonus Question: How long do Debbie and Zach stay together?
1) The plan is obvious: flood the world. Worked last time, what’s good for the goose is good for the trash world of the 1980s. But the angels are like “B-b-b-b-b-b-b-but there are good people, just look at John Travolta over there!” right before Travolta very obviously is a giant piece of shit. So god is like “whatever, if John Travolta stops being a huge piece of shit in like a week Earth can stay.” This is later amended to include Olivia Newton-John as well, they have to sacrifice themselves for each other. Long odds.
2) Well he’s an inventor you see. But he’s also a thief. And he borrowed a bunch of money to produce bad looking edible sunglasses that taste bad. So he basically is going to get killed over barely-edible chemicals/not-sunglasses … seems like a smart dude.
3) He reads the papers you see. So he sees the story about his bank robbery (where he got no money), but what’s this? Seems like a bunch of money was, in fact, stolen during the heist. Which means only one thing: Debbie took the money and blamed him. That vixen!
4) Well the devil gave the investigator a hot tip! You see, Travolta broke into a lab to get the chemicals / technology needed for his sweet bad-tasting-not-really-edible-eyewear, but only Debbie knew about it, he told no one else. But the devil knew, obviously, and he told the cops, who then suggested to Travolta that Debbie told them about it. Get it? Good.
5) The ultimate sacrifice: death. He takes a bullet for Debbie (how romantic) and like … definitely dies. A cop even comes up and is like “that dude is dead.” And then he comes back to life! And no one cares! No one is like “wait, but that guy was dead, shouldn’t a paramedic look at him, he has a bullet hole in the front of his shirt, where did the bullet go, is it still in him or something?” Just like “oh cool you’re alive … welp, see yah!”
Bonus Answer: Oh, like six months tops right? Both of them are terrible with money. Zach is a lunatic who wants to be an inventor (not a real job) and already screwed her out of one job and almost got her sent to jail. Six months from that point Debbie gets a bit part in a broadway play and is making some money, but then Zach steals half of it for a hairbrained scheme, blows it all and sheepishly has to admit it to Debbie. Debbie then starts getting noticed and is off doing auditions where she meets a handsome writer who thinks she’s perfect for his new play (and, oh by the way, are you single?). Then Debbie wakes up, looks in the mirror, and is like “what am I doing with this guy?” and dumps him. It is a BMT classic, relationships build on harrowing experiences never work out. Sorry Zach and Debbie, make Three of a Kind (the third is their kid!) and prove me wrong.
Ooooooo bummer of an ending to the quiz with the harsh life lesson for Zach. Maybe try being less of a piece of garbage next time.