Oh man, so get this. I was trying to cure my terminal blood disease when I accidentally made myself into a vampire (whoops!). During my transformation though I bopped myself on the head and now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Morbius?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Michael and his besties Milo are young boys with a terrible terminal blood disease living in Greece. But Milo isn’t his real name, it is Lucius. Why does Michael call him Milo?
2) Soon though Michael’s caretaker discovers that Michael is a genius. What tips him off to Michael’s unique genius? What is Michael’s great invention (which he ultimately turns down the Nobel Prize for)?
3) Michael is trying to find a cure for him and Milo. What is actually wrong with their blood and why does Michael think the DNA from a vampire bat will cure them?
4) Name the four main powers Michael and Milo gain via their super bat serum.
5) What the hell, let’s do a question about the mid-credits scenes. Why is Toombs (the Vulture) let out of prison?
Bonus Question: In the after-after-after credits scene we see a familiar face vowing revenge on our “hero” Morbius. Who is it?
Answers
1) Michael dubs Lucius Milo because long ago there was a boy actually called Milo who sat next to Michael in the hospital. So, cruelly, since Milo died, Michael has been called whomever is in that bed Milo. That sucks man. That is borderline bullying insanity Michael. We are supposed to think that is charming? Call people by their names, man.
2) When Milo gets real sick because his blood machine breaks, Michael fixes it with the spring from a ballpoint pen (what a genius!). Eventually Michael becomes a biomedical genius and invents artificial blood which saves millions of lives around the world.
3) They apparently lack a specific substance that prevents their blood from coagulating. That is kind of a guess, but an educated one because Michael explains that the trait he’s trying to isolate from the vampire bat is the anti-coagulating protein in its saliva that allows it to digest blood as its primary food source. I just hope this doesn’t turn Michael and Milo into living vampires though.
4) I’m going to try and remember this (remember, I’ve only seen this movie once in theaters). He has super speed for sure. He also has the ability to use echolocation using little hairs in his ears. He transforms and sucks blood, which I suppose is a power. And, somehow, someway, he is able to fly. I am NOT counting “oozing smoke” as a superpower. That is nonsense.
5) So apparently after Dr. Strange’s spell at the end of Spiderman: No Way Home (I have not seen this film) things got a bit mixed up and Toombs was sent into the world of Venom and Morbius (the Sony Spiderman Universe as it is apparently called). Because there is no record of Toombs, or at least no record of him being an insane criminal, in this world they decide they have to let him free … like why are you even in my prison duuuuude. So that’s how the Sinister Three (so far) gets started.
Bonus Answer: As Jared Harris rises from the dead he screams REMEMBER MEEEEEEEEEE. He is, of course, the actual Hunger. People would have thought it was Lucius, but no, it was Jared Harris who reveals that a side effect of the super morbius serum on people without a tragic blood disease is to grant them immortality in exchange for the unending desire to drink human blood (oh no!). In the sequel the Sinister Six is starting to get their house in order, but Morbius has one last thing he needs to take care of: daddy dearest. Hunger can’t stop killing, but also has an insatiable appetite for defeating Morbius for what he has done to him and also to protect the world from the devastating effects of the serum (and Morbius’ brain .. cause he’s so smart, you see?). In a final smoke-filled battle audiences (won’t) see Morbius and Hunger do battle on the streets of jolly London or some shit. And obviously Hunger dies but Morbius is crying like “I killed my fambly.” The End.
That sequel idea is about as comprehensible as the original film, so … nailed it? I would call it Morbius 2: Hangry.
Bad Movie Twins 