Oh man, so I was doing some sweet parkour (regular Sunday, natch) when I did this sweet flip and landed directly on my head, whoops! Now I have a major concussion and can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Brick Mansions?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Why is Brick Mansions so shit? It is, init?
2) Our boy Lino is running from some baaaaad m-fers in dystopian Detroit. Why?
3) Paul Walker then is sent into ultra-shit Brick Mansions. Why?
4) What happened to Paul Walker’s father? But then … like what really happened?
5) What is the keycode for the bomb and what was the big baddies plan all along?
Bonus Question: RZA’s the King of Detroit! Well the Mayor of Detroit. But now someone has come to his new swanky office for a little favor. Who and what favor?
1) Basically the explanation goes a little something like: Detroit became a crime ridden hellhole, and Brick Mansions in particular. So the city of Detroit thought, wait, what if we walled off that area, stopped supplying it with services like schools and hospitals, then everything will be nice in not-Brick Mansions, right? WRONG. Everything is still shit.
2) He stole some heroine natch. He’s a bit of a Robin Hood character. Steal from the drug dealers, give to a toilet in his rundown Brick Mansion apartment, doing sweet parkour before he gets got. that’s how I remember Robin Hood going. Question: Is there a parkour Robin Hood movie? If not, there should be. Is this it?
3) I won’t spoil anything, but let’s just say Brick Mansions kingpin RZA maybe got his hands on an advanced missile system and is maybe threatening to bomb Detroit for ransom. If that were the case you might just want Paul Walker and his buddy (who is a criminal, and criminally good at parkour) to go and save the day.
4) He died tragically in Brick Mansions at the hands of the dastardly RZA. DAMN YOU RZA!!!! But wait? What’s this? Could it be that his father actually died at the hands of the dastardly mayor of Detroit who needed this goodie two-shoes Paul Walker Sr. out of his business? You bettah belieb that’s what happened.
5) The keycode is the zip code of Brick Mansions. Paul Walker is like “uh … that’s probably like a coincidence right?” But Lino is like “look into your heart, you know the mayor of Detroit actually wanted to blow up part of his own city. You know it to be true.” And yeah, the mayor of Detroit was like “but what if I just like blow up all of Brick Mansions? Yada yada I become king of America maybe? Also something something I somehow make a lot of money?” They probably actually explained that, I assume it is like “I’ll blow up Brick Mansions and then the Detroit Lions ownership group will pay me a billion dollars to build Brick Mansions Stadium.” Good plan if so.
Bonus Answer: Is that Paul Walker Sr.’s music I hear! That’s right, he wasn’t dead, but instead in witness protection the whole time! And he wants to reconnect (and do some parkour?) with his son. Parkouring around the city with his boy like he always dreamed, the duo come across some baddies at the port brazenly offloading drugs into their beloved city. Time to crack some heads, amirite? WRONG, because the bad guys get away. “Bad luck, son, we’ll get them next time,” Sr. says. Suspicious, Paul Walker calls on Lino (new King of Brick Mansions) to do a little parkour and investigation (park-vestigation is what he insists on calling it). Sacrebleu!!! Paul Walker Sr. was the Mayor’s heavy the whole time, and had been pulling the strings the whole time! Say it ain’t so dad! Is it too late to stop Sr. from taking Lino’s crown as King of Brick Mansions? Find out in …Brick Mansions 2: Sins of the Father. I’m going to recast Paul Walker sadly, but don’t worry, I think Devon Sawa is more than up for this Tubi Original sequel.