Oh man, so there I was bipping and bopping to some rad tunes. I’m part of a gang (NBD), we have leather jackets (NBD), we’re pretty cool. Anyways, suddenly a real cool rider came out of nowhere and almost ran me over! Well, needless to say I fell over out of shock and bopped my head real good, and now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Grease 2?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) In the beginning of the film we meet one of our heroes, Michael. He’s from England. Who and how is he related to the cast of the original film?
2) Michael meets Stephanie and it is love are first sight, the problem is Stephanie wants nothing to do with this loser Michael. What is Stephanie really looking for in a man?
3) How does Michael earn all the money for that sweet ride he’s checking out, and where does he get it from?
4) On the night of the big talent show Michael is tragically killed (oh no!). Oh wait … no he’s not, he’s just a big faking faker. How does he fake his death?
5) What is the theme for the big end of the year graduation bash?
Bonus Question: In the mid-credits scene Michael and Stephanie have just been married, and then have a real special guest at the wedding. Who?
1) He is apparently Sandy’s cousin from jolly England, so naturally when he just needs to go to America for schooling (?) they decide to send him to the same school that made Sandy into a weird biker girl. Makes sense.
2) She’s looking for a co-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ool rider. A co-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ool rider. One that really gets her engine going because of how baaaaaaaaaaad he is, and how, when you really think about it, has the one thing she wants: a vehicle that can get her the fuck out of town.
3) He basically cheats? Am I wrong? He writes all the term papers for everyone in school because he’s a genius, and not only that he forges them impeccably complete with writing in their voice and with doodles and stuff. He’s a legend!
4) He pretends to drive straight into a quarry. Everyone is like “wait did he go for the jump?!” which is like Samual L Jackson and The Rock jumping off the building in The Other Guys. No, he didn’t go for the jump you goobers, he’s obviously just like hiding somewhere. But alas, they are distraught that they just straight up murdered someone, so they bounce pretty quickly without searching for the corpse.
5) It’s a luau obviously, because back in the day people were into cultural appropriation.
Bonus Answer: Oh no, it is Leo Balmudo, head of the Cycle Lords! A shout rings out “he got a guuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!” BANG! A shot. The crowd is deathly silent. Suddenly a wail, Michael is down. He’s … dead! Noooooooooooooooooo, our cool rider. Our little cool rider. How could you Leo? You’re a monster! Stephanie vows to never love again, and that is the day music died in the small town of Rydel. No one ever sang again.
Wow … that’s a downer of a coda to a pretty upbeat film. Kind of an Empire Strikes Back vibe. I wonder what the trilogy would have had in store for us. But alas, they never made it. The music died.