The Wizard Quiz

Oh boy. So I was battling this kid, when he pulled out a Power Glove! I couldn’t believe it. It was so bad. It was so bad, in fact, that I immediately got amnesia and couldn’t remember anything afterwards. Only the Power Glove. Nothing else. Do you remember what happened in The Wizard?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Oh man, Fred Savage’s family’s been split up! And his brother is basically non-verbal due to PTSD. What happened to him?

2) Well Freddy is going to help his brother out. His brother wants to go to one place. What is that place and (as we will eventually find out) why?

3) But before they figure that out, they end up finding out that Jimmy’s a video game Wizard for real. So they are off to hustle random adults in rest stop restaurants and then eventually to the video game championships. Where is it?

4) On the way they meet Haley, a street smart girl who is on her way home. Where does she live, and what (not very appropriate for children) game is she incredible at.

5) At the championship Jimmy ultimately prevails in playing what game by finding what ultra secret?

Bonus Question: It is 20 years in the future. Where are all out Wizard friends?


1) It’s a sad story. Jimmy and his twin sister were inseparable. But Jimmy was afraid of swimming. His sister went into the river and ultimately began to drown, but Jimmy was too afraid to try and save her. Naturally he’s scarred from this and has severe PTSD rendering him non-verbal.

2) Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalifoooooooooooooooooooooornia. He has one driving ambition. To go to California. Where in California? Who knows. In the end it turns out he was trying to specifically go to a tourist trap consisting of giant dinosaur statues where he remembers his sister being happy.

3) Universal Studios. And definitely not just because the film was made by Universal. Right … right? But yeah, they even go on a ride there, it looks like loads of fun.

4) She lives outside of Reno in a trailer home. That’s sad. But don’t worry, because her mother was a degenerate gambler Haley knows how to somehow win at craps. … Wait, no that’s even sadder! Haley’s life is sad.

5) They are going to play the (at the time) unreleased Super Mario 3, and he wins by somehow finding the hidden flute that allows you to transport three worlds further through the game which is apparently worth a boatload of points. In reality? There is no way anyone finds that secret without reading about it Nintendo Power. So I call bullshit.

Bonus Answer: Flashforward. Jimmy is still the Wizard (hooray) … in that he’s still hustling video games in Nevada (oh that’s sad). His line of hot sauces? In the toilet. But he does have a side gig as a scout for a pro LoL team. While combing through Reno after seeing Corey and Haley and the gang he sees flashes of brilliance in a young girl. She could have something … this could be his big break. He takes her to the try out, but they just aren’t sure. “Jimmy … you’re washed up man. That last three players you brought us couldn’t hack it.” “But this one is different.” Rejected and dejected again Jimmy starts again on the tour … no, not this time. This one’s got something this is it! Going behind his employer’s back he starts to shop the new talent around. And on the way he just might get his mojo back with a retro game tournament featuring, you guessed it, Super Mario 3. “You did everything for me Jimmy, you changed my life.” she says in the pivotal scene. “No Nic … you changed mine.” Fin.

It’s just The Wizard 2, a gritty sequel in the vein of Hustle / A Star is Born. I promise Jimmy doesn’t kill himself in the end though. That’s too much for even me.


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