Oh boy. So first of all, I’m a quarter fly person (my dad was half fly, don’t worry about it). And now I’m growing ultra quick like Robin Williams! Needless to say I have the memory of a fly as well, so I don’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Fly II?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Brundlefly Jr. is born to definitely-not-Geena-Davis, but ultimately is raised by who? And why?
2) In his formative years a very particular relationship with an aminal would ultimately color issues throughout his life. What kind of animal?
3) When Brundlefly Jr. grows up though he meets a young lady, Princess Vespa. How do they meet?
4) Ultimately he must escape his confines though as he slowly turns into an actual Brundlefly. What final betrayal is revealed concerning his condition from Bartok?
5) How does Brundlefly cure himself?
Bonus Question: Brundlefly Jr. is living happily ever after, but then there is a knock at the door. Who is it?
1) He is raised by Bartok, the definitely-very-very evil and rich gentleman who owns his father’s research and is continuing to try and perfect it. His reason appears to be that he needs Brundelfly Jr.’s superior intellect to reconstruct the complex research destroyed by Brundlefly Sr. But perhaps there is another secret reason he wants to keep Brundlefly Jr. close? We’ll see in a future question.
2) It’s a doggy! Hooray. No need to think deeply about becoming best friends with a dog that is very explicitly a test animal. Also … maybe don’t think about the horrible monster is becomes in the middle of the film. It is awful.
3) She’s naturally teaching herself to perfectly cast a fishing rod in the data analytics department on the deep deep night shift. She is stuck on the night shift because she’s presumably the youngest person at the company and also because she hasn’t yet learned that she has to be very evil to move up in this company.
4) Oooooooh snap, it turns out Bartok was expecting him to turn into Brundlefly eventually regardless. He told him that he was getting medicine to slow and potentially stop the condition, but no, it turns out there is no cure and they were waiting for him to morph into Brundlefly so that they could study him for the rest of his tortuous life. What a betrayal!
5) He basically just needs to swap his bad genes for the good genes of another human. And he’s ultimately got his victim: Bartok himself. Again, don’t think of the horrible monster Brundlefly Jr. creates, it is too horrible to think about.
Bonus Answer: Oh shiiiiiiiit, is that Stephen Seagal?! Nope, that’s Stephen Seagal’s half-fly son who is 2 years old and has to dye his hair with shoe polish, that’s how awesome his fly genes are, he ages tremendously. “My father sent me,” Stephen whispers, “We need your half-past-fly genetics to infiltrate Bartok Industries and steal back the simply tremendous research my father’s beautiful mind cooked up when …” Stephen chokes up and puts his hand to his mouth. Brundlefly Jr. tries to comfort him, but Stephen Seagal Jr. shakes him off. “I’m okay, I’m okay. When my father was alive with his beautiful mind and akito he invented a whole new very cool and very natural cure for all diseases from his Half Past Dead essence. Bartok stole it. We have to get it back.” No problemo, says Brundlefly Jr., he also has a beautiful mind so infiltrating that rinky dink organization should be easy. And easy it is! Half-Past-Flying their way into Bartok they explore the labyrinthine corridors until they find the Beautiful Mind Section 3: Half Past Research room. “This is it,” Stephen says, “Are you ready?” Bundlefly Jr. nods. They open the door and …. The horror! The horror!! A large pit dominates the room, and in its center? A naked Stephen Seagal. He sees his son and lets out a guttural roar. Brundlefly Jr. flies into the pit and looks on with sadness at the wild Stephen Seagal who looks at him pitiously and whispers, “Kill meeeee.” Brundlefly Jr. takes out a gun and shoots him in the head, and then Stephen Seagal Jr. and Brundlefly Jr. take Stephen’s Half Past Dead formula and escape. … A little time later, Bartok Jr. enters the room and sprinkles some of the formula onto the dead naked Stephen Seagal who springs back to life. “Looks like you are three quarters dead now.” MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The End.
Uh oh … I smell a mega-franchise involving the battle between Brundlefly Jr., Stephen Seagal Jr., the now evil Stephen Seagal, and Bartok Jr. brewing. This is called The Fly III: Half Past Fly, and it’s being published in segments in the New Yorker. Old school.