Man, this can’t be right, I must have hit my head real hard, because I seem to be watching the same movie over and over and over again. Do you remember what happened in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We open with two brothers and their girlfriends riding through Texas. But where are they going?
2) Meanwhile we meet the sadistic Charles Hewitt, who soon becomes the sadistic Sheriff Hoyt. How does he become Hoyt?
3) In this film they, for some reason, everyone are cannibals again. Why? Why is Hoyt, and thus his family, a group of cannibals?
4) In the first film the family is a group of psychos who want to continue their grandfather’s legacy of being the best killer (in his case it used to be cows, but now it is humans) in Texas. In the second amusingly they kill to get meat to win chili cook-offs. The third is roughly the same as the first. In the fourth (wait for it) they kill as a grand Illuminati conspiracy (not joking). In the remake it seems to be just as amusement. But why oh why do they kill in The Beginning?
5) There are six main deaths in the film, our four young heroes and the two bikers (there is the meat packing business owner, Hoyt the sheriff, presumably Leatherface’s mother, and the two people right at the end, but let’s ignore those as they are somewhat minor). How did they all get killed?
1) Well, the older brother is going to re-enlist in Vietnam in order to accompany his younger brother, Dean, who has been drafted. Little does he know that Dean planned on heading off to Mexico as a draft dodger.
2) Well, Tommy (aka Leatherface) works at the meat processing facility. Except, uh oh, it is shut down due to health code violations. The owner is quite mean to Tommy, and so Tommy comes back that night and murders him. The sheriff, who is just a week away from retirement (!), comes to get Charlie to help him wrangle Tommy, but instead Charlie kills Hoyt and becomes the Sheriff.
3) Hoyt was in the Korean War where he was held as a POW. They didn’t have much food, you see, so every week they chose a fellow prisoner to kill and eat. And he’s brought that taste for blood back to his family. Butchering Hoyt (the original, not fake Hoyt aka Charles), the family vows to ever starve again.
4) Well first, it is because Charlie/Hoyt feels slighted by society who shuns his family. They disrespect him, his family, and his house, and he feels like they all deserve better than that. And second, because Charlie is a cannibal and introduces his family to the practice as a way to guarantee that they will never go hungry again.
5) Both guys and the main woman are all killed via chainsaw to the chest interestingly enough. As a matter of fact the biker effectively goes the same way. By far the most direct chainsaw action out of the first six films. The biker woman is shot by Charlie Hewitt aka Hoyt. And the blond woman has her throat slit by Leatherface.
Ah … wait, so it is a different movie? That is bizarre, I could have sworn I had just watched the first movie for the sixth time.