Whoooooooo dogggy, the last thing I remember I was picking up this amazing ball player at the bus station. But then some animal knocked me on the noggin and I don’t remember anything else! Do you remember what happened in Ed?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) How do the coaches of the Santa Rosa Rockets decide on whether to cut a player after 30 days? What happens with LeBlanc?
2) Why is Ed brought onto the team and where does he come from?
3) Why does LeBlanc seem to have terrible luck to start his single-A baseball career, why does he keep on getting smashed?
4) When Ed is subbed in for the first time he does something very special, so special the coach says it is the first time he’s ever seen such a thing. What is it?
5) Eventually LeBlanc finds his luck, throws his fastball, and starts cooking with fire. How fast can LeBlanc allegedly throw a baseball?
1) They flip a coin, and in the case of LeBlanc the coin lands perfectly on its side. They decide to keep it under a glass to see how it eventually falls. In the end, naturally, it falls on heads meaning our boy Jack Cooper is going to make it.
2) Ed is brought on the team because the son of the owner thinks it is a good business opportunity. People will come out to see Ed who is, in fact, Mickey Mantle’s chimpanzee.
3) LeBlanc is terrible because he can’t throw a curveball … and yet he insists on throwing the curve. His curve is so bad, in fact, that his teammates call it the worst curve of all time … so why throw it? You don’t actually need a curve if you are precise enough.
4) An unassisted triple play. He jumps up and snagged a high fly down the third baseline, then tags the man sliding back to third, and runs down the man who foolishly ran too far from second.
5) 125 MPH. This is obviously absurd. The record for the fastest pitch ever thrown is 105 MPH. It is honestly not even that far off from the fastest serve by a female tennis player ever (135MPH) … think about that for a goddamned second. He shattered the record for the fastest pitch by 20 miles per hour!
Ah right, that wasn’t an animal … that was the ball player! We have a genuine baseball playing ape on the team! And here all I was trying to do was learn to throw a curve and make the big leagues. Aw shucks!