Oh man, so my uncle (who is an infamous unstoppable killing machine) is back in town and boy howdy does he seem peeved with me! Odd thing is I’ve never met him. Oddest thing though, I’ve been having these horrible nightmares and in one of them he just bopped me right on the head and gave me a concussion! In my dream I couldn’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We start on a stormy night IN HELL … er, well I mean Ridgemont Federal Sanitarium, where Michael Myers is being prepped for transfer. Why is he getting transfered?
2) We also get to meet Jamie Lloyd and Rachel Carruthers. Jamie is an orphan living with Rachel’s family. How is she related to Michael Myers, and how did Rachel know Jamie’s parents?
3) Rachel really wants to go super steady with town hunk Brady. Why can’t she go with him tonight, and what does he do instead?
4) Here’s an easy one. What did Jamie dress up as for Halloween?
5) In the end Myers is finally “killed”. How does Loomis think he dies?
Bonus Question: In a mid-credits scene we see the return of Wade (remember? The guy who hit on Kelly Meeker, Brady’s friend). Where is he headed?
1) Well, huge idiot and major dick Dr. Hoffman decided it was time for Myers to go. Loomis was obsessed with him and was a totally bummer (for real) around the Sanitarium. He literally hopes Loomis retires or dies without Myers to obsess over. You know … you would think Loomis would have tried to kill Myers himself, right?
2) Jamie is Myers’ niece because she is Laurie Strode’s daughter. It seems to indicate that Laurie Strode is dead (which is why I call her an orphan), and I don’t believe they ever retcon this since Halloween H20: 20 Years Later is a direct sequel to the second film. Rachel merely claims that Laurie babysat her a few times growing up, and she is not either of the children from the first film grown up (unfortunately), that will come in Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers.
3) Well, she has to babysit Jamie (perfect for a Halloween film) because the original babysitter totally shattered her ankle. Rachel’s parents have to go to the Big Halloween Business Bash in order to get the Big Promotion and get to go on Big Holidays like going to Barbados. Brady, which seems like a real piece of work, definitely was looking forward to some hanky-panky and decides to find that hanky-panky elsewhere (specifically with Kelly Meeker the daughter of the sheriff).
4) She dressed as a clown. And not just any clown I think, I think it is implied that it is very similar to the outfit Michael was wearing when he killed his sister (foreshadowing!). The first hint that Michael and Jamie might have a more substantial connection than mere blood relation.
5) Michael gets shot like a million times right into a sinkhole. What idiots! All you had to do was stop shooting for a bit and you would have a body. Instead, obviously, Michael is going to crawl out of the sinkhole, an indefatigable killer who wants only one thing: to kill Jamie Lloyd!
Bonus Answer: Against all odds Wade hadn’t heard of anything that had happened that night and is headed to Kelly’s to finally make his big move. When he opens the door though, whoops! Tons of dead bodies everywhere including his beloved Kelly (noooooooo). In his shock he flashes back to the totally bodacious events of the night. You see, after getting embarrassed at the shop, Wade decides to spend Halloween in a series of misadventures. But each misadventure, it turns out, ends up helping Jamie and Rachel from becoming Michael’s prized victims. He’s one of the kids in the Michael masks who scare off Michael before Loomis and the sheriff find Rachel and Jamie. Prior to that he tried to go to Kelly’s but chickens out, but not before he climbed to the roof and tried to sneak in (leaving his coiled wire behind, the wire eventually used to lower Jamie to the ground). He decides then to play a gnarly prank on everyone by releasing the fire extinguisher all over the school … but naw, that’s lame. Ultimately he leaves it right where Rachel finds it in order to save Jamie. And finally he goes to his family farm where he reopens the family sinkhole (forgetting to close it again!). It’s a very Rozencratz and Guildenstern are Dead type story.
The film is called Halloween 4.5: HalloWade and it is coming to Shudder next year (if Shudder options it from me, films it, and releases it that is).