Oh man, so get this. All I did was innocently deliver a package to the wrong place and now I’m getting my face beat in by a bunch of drug dealers. I have a severe concussion at the very very least. Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Next Day Air?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) The film opens with a description of a bank robbery gone wrong. What do the hapless would-be-thieves steal instead of the money in the vault?
2) A biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig package is supposed to arrive in Philadelphia and delivered to a specific apartment, number 303 … where is it delivered instead?
3) Why does the gang end up thinking Donald Faison stole the 10 kilos of cocaine from the drug dealer Jesus?
4) Time for some real trivia … someone stole the Philly drug dealer’s money from the storage container. Now I could ask you who stole it, but that would be too easy. When he goes to get his money though, what does he buy from the thief Wade at the printer store?
5) In the final confrontation 10 people end up in the apartment with the drugs. How many people survive?
Bonus Question: Well you saw who managed to, against all odds, come out alive from this whole sordid ordeal. But in the mid-credits scene who do we find out unexpectedly died?
1) They stole the tapes … but only the surveillance tapes. They took no money at all. To add insult to injury the ringleader’s gun is broken and they also had to leave their (stolen) car behind as well.
2) It is delivered to apartment 302 and, uh oh, that is the apartment of the hapless criminals! And you know they are going to steal that and sell that and try and make money! All of this seems like a bad idea.
3) Because Jesus, nervous about how insane the main drug runner is, confronted Faison in the hallway after the delivery. Faison was like “yeah nothing came” … but obviously Jesus thinks he knew what was in the package and stole it. So now the drug dealers are after Faison!
4) Can you get it? He buys some rope, some duct tape, and a padlock. Ultimately he uses these items to tie up, gag, and then trape the two thieves in their storage container. The whole sequence is a bit bizarre … it seems to only serve the purpose of slightly delaying the drug dealers, otherwise the drugs would have been bought, sold, and gone by the time all of the crazy shit goes down.
5) From what I can gleen 5. The girlfriend of Jesus hides in her apartment. Faison himself plays dead and ends up with the money. The cousin drug dealer limps away (shot), but seems to survive. And I think the person who was sleeping on the couch the entire movie is seen briefly at the end in a short mid-credits scene. Jesus also survives miraculously even though you see him apparently shot in the chest, it turns out that he was actually hit in the watch he stole from Mos Def.
Bonus Answer: Sadly Leo’s mother Ms. Jackson, so stressed from running her small business with her ne’er do well son Leo, died exactly at the moment Leo himself pretended to be shot dead in the apartment. Leo, though, knows that there might be some other baddies out there looking for him, so he sells the business and gets out of Dodge. Smash cut to 10 years later and Leo is an Amazon delivery driver, still happily smoking away the thousands he stole from the drug dealers, now living in LA. One day though he gets a knock on his door. Eric? What are you doing here? Well, he knows how Leo got his money and he needs a little favor from Leo in exchange for keeping his mouth shut. It is a little bit of a heist you see? He knows a small off-the-strip casino in Vegas that is just asking to be worked by working class heroes much like themselves. And thus, begrudgingly, the game begins with the two small-time crooks getting jobs at the casino and assembling a hodge podge crew to pull off their amusingly small-scale version of Ocean’s Eleven.
Uh … I kind of dig it. I weirdly like the idea of these two jokers pulling off their version of the heist. I would call it Smiley’s Slots and Suites and you’d be hard pressed to figure out it is actually a sequel to Next Day Air.