Oh man, so, obviously after being traumatized by getting me face bashed in my (the) Michael Myers last Halloween I decided to stay in. But what do you know? Michael busts in and this time he has a big beard and he (again) smashed my face apart! Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Halloween II (2009)?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Welp, Michael’s dead. D-E-A-D! Right? WRONG! He is heading to the morgue, but he never makes it there, because the morgue truck crashes. How?
2) Welp, Loomis is a straight dick in this one. This craven weirdo is hawking another book, this time with a big reveal (ooooooo, what a twist). What is the reveal about Michael and his motivations for the murders the prior year?
3) Oh and also Laurie is now a goth with a bunch of goth friends and works at a goth record store or something. But guess what? They want to party hardy tonight! What are they dressing as for the big Halloween bash?
4) Oh yeah, right around this time Michael massacres everyone in a strip club (fun, I guess?). Again, just tell me why? This film has no real structure haha.
5) Of the three main people (Laurie, Loomis, and Michael), who dies at the end?
Bonus Question: In the cut scene a mysterious figure cuts a grotesque image in a rural Illinois cornfield. As we zoom in the man takes off his mask. Who is he?
1) Well, the ultra-creepy morgue people are discussing having sex with corpses (naturally, exactly what I want in my Halloween slasher film…), which distracts them just enough to not notice the cow in the road just outside of Haddonfield. They hit and destroy that, but also destroy themselves as well, right before Michael comes back to life (?!) and saws the sole survivor’s head off.
2) Oh man, the sheriff’s adopted daughter Laurie Strode ain’t a Strode at all! She’s a Myers. Angel Myers in particular. And Michael, all those years ago, just wanted to complete … killing her? It doesn’t make much sense because Angel was the only family member saved, but I guess after Michael’s mother died there was maybe a whole thing where Michael is intending to kill Angel and then himself to destroy his bloodline or something. Only Rob Zombie would know for sure.
3) They are dressing as the characters in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Laurie is the maid specifically, but the movie will suffice for an answer. And boy howdy does that barn-burning country jamboree look fun … until Michael starts his a-murderin’ that is.
4) I think the idea for why he goes bananas in the strip club is because that was the strip club where his mother worked when he was a kid. Makes sense I suppose, it is probably the best actual “motivation” we’ve heard for Michael in the entire series. Usually it is like … his eyes are black as coals, and he’s pure evil! (Imagine I’m a crazed Donald Pleasance when I say that).
5) All of them baby! Wait, Laurie is alive? Oh I forgot, I guess Laurie is alive still. Apparently Rob Zombie wanted to kill her off too (which would have been a good idea), but such is the life of horror franchise directors I suppose.
Bonus Answer: Is that Brad Dourif’s music I hear?! That’s right, with Michael dead and gone the now thoroughly insane Sheriff Brackett has taken on the mantle of Michael Myers, but in a more drifter-y urban legend kind of way. As a matter of fact … we open on a college where Urban Legend-ologists are discussing the latest in Urban Legend Theory. Is Michael alive? Can he be killed? Are the recent sightings real? But as the students start to get picked off one by one, and concerning messages pop up, they begin to think they’ll have to come to grips with Michael being back. And by Michael, they theorize, they mean the missing Sheriff Brackett. But when a disheveled (very Loomis-esque) Brackett shows up to battle Michael, they realize this is actually the real deal. An undead Michael back to destroy all that speak his name!
Yeah, that’s a crossover episode babyyyyyyy. Halloween III: Urban Legend III. People will be like … by where are the witches? Oh man, I missed out on describing Zombie’s demented version of Halloween III. Such is life I suppose.