Oh man, so I was just minding my own business, trying to make some money as a babysitter on Halloween, when this real tall guy busted in and bopped me on the head with a knife (over and over, brutally smashing my face to smithereens). Now I can’t remember a thing! Do you remember what happened in Halloween (2007)?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We are treated to a literal neverending origin story of Michael Myers. In his youth massacre how many people did he kill?
2) Well, whoops, now Michael is obsessed with masks and insane. Where does he get the “real” Michael mask and where, evidently, does he hide it for the 17-or-so years between his murderous sprees?
3) At last, we meet Laurie Strode. And just like in the original she has to babysit tonight. And just like in the original the person she has to babysit is obsessed with a specific Halloween-appropriate legend. What is it?
4) During Michael’s spree as a young boy and during his spree as an adult he dresses in two specific (non-Shatner) Halloween costumes. What were they?
5) How many people survive Michael’s terror that night?
Bonus Question: My god, she shot him in the face! In a mid-credits scene we see him come back to life though. How does it explain that he’s still alive?
Answers
1) You might be thinking, oh jeez, it is definitely three, but you’d be wrong. He binds and kills his drunk stepfather (or mother’s boyfriend? Hard to tell), kills his sisters boyfriend, and then kills his sister. That’s it right? Nope, you forgot that he first killed his bully. And oddly, I suppose, if his sister had only taken him trick-or-treating that night then likely he would have “merely” been arrested and charged will that single murder in the end. If you think about it.
2) The sister’s boyfriend brought the mask (which, yes, does look like a bleached Captain Kirk mask like in the original) back when Michael was a kid. Michael, being super savvy, then hides it below the floorboards in the basement of his family home so that he can retrieve it later.
3) The boogeyman! And indeed, in the original series, the kind-of-sequel series, and now the remake series they very specifically refer to Michael Myers as the boogeyman. A legend that basically kills without remorse and cannot be killed and that the town of Haddonfield is somewhat haunted by, not really knowing if he is fact or fiction (he’s fact, I mean his sister still lives in town, he was a kid there not-too-long ago).
4) As a young buy he dresses as a clown with a cheap plastic mask. That is fun … well until he kills a load of people. As for when he is an adult, if you didn’t get this then you are garbage, because, again, it is the same as in the original! That’s right, he again dresses as a spooky ghost, complete with murdered boyfriends glasses. Spooky!
5) Two (three if you count Michael himself, although he is actually supposed to be dead in this one according to Rob Zombie. He was only changed to be alive again for the sequel). There is obviously Laurie Strode. But then there is also the daughter of the Sheriff, which is interesting since I think quite specifically the daughter of the sheriff is killed in the first one as a motivating factor for him in the second film.
Bonus Answer: Michael struggles to his feet as the police mill about nearby, groggy, but alive. Despite being 8 feet tall, he thinks he maybe could just like … blend in and escape right? So he slowly peels off the shattered mask to reveal … a bulletproof mask? Yes, but it is something more … it’s an … iron mark? Wait, could it be?! That’s right, a wormhole opens nearby and Michael is once again transported to 17th century France. He’s the man in the iron mask, Philippe, the twin brother of Louis XIV! Oh no, but … that means Halloween (2007) is an ultra-secret-fake Twin Film! The three musketeers’ manservant Planchet stops pedaling his ancient time machine. “Blast, Phillipe, you murdered a whole town again!” he cries as he bites into a turkey leg. The audience roars with laughter. The end.
It’s called Halloween II: King Michael Myers. But what was all that about 30 minutes of backstory for Michael Myers in this film? All a dream of course.
Bad Movie Twins 