“Why are we still here?” asks Jamie, a dark pall hanging over his features. “Because,” Michael explains, “you are meant to reconnect with people. Kevin James connects with people. If you understand that then we can leave. Beep boop” Patrick scoffs. “I think the answer to that starts with a ‘D’ and ends with an ‘uh.’ We aren’t total idiots, we know Paul Blart was a sensation.” They get up to leave. “Is that so?” Michael robot scoffs right back at them, “Then why did you spend,” he pauses, a mechanical whirring sound intensifying as he performs a quick numerical calculation, “1,146 words talking about Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 on BadMovieTwins.com and conclude, and I quote, ‘it’s trash.’ Beep boop?” This robot is asking for another punch to its robot chest. Jamie and Patrick clench their fists, but eventually sit back down. When he’s right, he’s right… and also they installed a titanium plate over his chest in the rebuild. Their fists would likely splinter in a cloud of pink mist if they attempted a similar punch a second time. They turn their attention back at the stage where Kevin James has launched into his third (and hopefully final) impression of who he calls Itch and Blow: The Dope-elgangers. The crowd is loving it. “Look at my abs! Look at my greasy abs!” Kevin James is screaming and the crowd wails. “Oh man, my balls are itchy,” he continues as Itch. The crowd gobbles it up. Jamie and Patrick grit their teeth and laugh along with the crowd. Whatever it takes to satisfy Michael. It’s working until Kevin James looks at them again and mouths “You stink, Bad Movie Twins.” That’s it! “Let’s pound some dweebs,” they say in unison, getting up from their chairs. That’s right! It’s a double this week with Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans. If you wondered what Sam Worthington used his Avatar cache on, well… it was this. Let’s go!
Wrath of the Titans (2012) – BMeTric: 44.5; Notability: 65
StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 10.4%; Notability: top 2.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.8%; Higher BMeT: Piranha 3DD, The Devil Inside, LOL, Paranormal Activity 4, The Apparition, Smiley, ATM, Chernobyl Diaries, The Cold Light of Day, The ABCs of Death, Dark Tide, Alex Cross, Resident Evil: Retribution, So Undercover, Red Dawn, Aftershock, Lay the Favorite, One for the Money, About Cherry, Madea’s Witness Protection, and 6 more; Higher Notability: Battleship, Dark Shadows, Ice Age: Continental Drift, This Means War, Red Tails, Total Recall; Lower RT: A Thousand Words, Dark Tide, One for the Money, The Apparition, The Cold Light of Day, Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike, Playing for Keeps, The Devil Inside, So Undercover, Fire with Fire, The Babymakers, Breaking the Girls, Alex Cross, Piranha 3DD, ATM, Gone, House at the End of the Street, Meeting Evil, LOL, About Cherry, and 25 more; Notes: Wow, the drop in the notability is startling. I suppose they really cut down on the gods and goddesses which is where a lot of the big names hung out for the two scene cameos in the first.
RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Maybe it was the three exploding mountains too many. Or the dozen surplus fireballs. Or too much noise. “Wrath of the Titans” relentlessly wore me down with special effects so overscale compared to the characters in the film that at times the only thing to do was grin. The characters, to be sure, are gods and not humans, but they are human-sized gods. Give it a moment’s thought: What chance does your average muscular god have against the grinding stones of a labyrinth as large as a volcano?
(Yeah here we go. The first was good for what it is. But then this is average for what it is, which means bad. The logic checks out.)
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jEWLCZA7R8/
(I distinctly enjoy the lack of a heavy metal soundtrack. Looks bigger and noisier and still pretty rad.)
Directors – Jonathan Liebesman – ( Known For: The Killing Room; Future BMT: Darkness Falls; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning; Wrath of the Titans; Battle Los Angeles; Notes: And he was an executive producer on Doolitte. South African. He directed 4 episodes of the Halo television series.)
Writers – Dan Mazeau – ( Known For: Fast X; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Has a Van Helsing script in development.)
David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick – ( Known For: Orphan; Aquaman; Orphan: First Kill; The Conjuring 2; The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Red Riding Hood; Notes: Has both the sequel to Aquaman and the fourth Conjuring film on the docket.)
Greg Berlanti – ( Known For: The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy; Future BMT: Green Lantern; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for The Flight Attendant and Political Animals. At this point he appears to develop all of the DC live-action television work.)
Beverley Cross – ( Known For: Clash of the Titans; Jason and the Argonauts; Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger; The Long Ships; Genghis Khan; Half a Sixpence; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Wait … is this based on part of the first movie or something. What an odd credit. Man, I really should have watched the original movie. Then I would know these things.)
Actors – Sam Worthington – ( Known For: Simulant; Avatar: The Way of Water; Avatar; Hacksaw Ridge; Everest; Fractured; Last Night; Rogue; Cake; The Titan; Lansky; The Debt; The Last Son; Texas Killing Fields; 9 Bullets; Hart’s War; The Keeping Room; The Hunter’s Prayer; Kidnapping Mr. Heineken; Paper Planes; Future BMT: Terminator Salvation; The Shack; Man on a Ledge; The Great Raid; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Wrath of the Titans; Sabotage; Notes: Again, you know Sam Worthington. Apparently he got so ripped for Avatar and Terminator: Salvation it changes his character in these films from somewhat slender to ultra-ripped.)
Liam Neeson – ( Known For: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Schindler’s List; The Dark Knight Rises; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Batman Begins; Love Actually; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Gangs of New York; Taken; Excalibur; The Lego Movie; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; The A-Team; Widows; The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian; Silence; Run All Night; Ted 2; Future BMT: Marlowe; Kingdom of Heaven; Men in Black: International; The Marksman; Krull; Taken 3; A Million Ways to Die in the West; Taken 2; Entourage; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Daddy’s Home 2; High Spirits; The Nut Job; Before and After; BMT: Battleship; Memory; Clash of the Titans; Blacklight; The Haunting; Wrath of the Titans; Notes: He has eight films on the docket including the sequel to Ice Road. You ever see Ice Road? It’s bananas.)
Rosamund Pike – ( Known For: Pride & Prejudice; Gone Girl; Jack Reacher; The World’s End; Hostiles; I Care a Lot; The Informer; Die Another Day; Fracture; Return to Sender; An Education; The Big Year; What We Did on Our Holiday; The Man with the Iron Heart; Beirut; A Private War; Radioactive; Hector and the Search for Happiness; A United Kingdom; A Long Way Down; Future BMT: 7 Days in Entebbe; Surrogates; Johnny English Reborn; The Libertine; BMT: Doom; Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Notably is starring in the Wheel of Time television show on Amazon. Nominated for an Oscar for Gone Girl.)
Budget/Gross – $150,000,000 / Domestic: $83,670,083 (Worldwide: $301,970,083)
(Yeah, so this is more of a disaster. I honestly find this a bit odd. They cut down the cast quite dramatically, so why did the budget go up again? Seems like a bad idea.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (46/176): Its 3D effects are an improvement over its predecessor’s, but in nearly every other respect, Wrath of the Titans fails to improve upon the stilted acting, wooden dialogue, and chaos-driven plot of the franchise’s first installment.
(Yes, yes, yes … wait why did Ebert think the first was better. I’m joking. Having watched both the first is way better than the second, and the fact that critics failed to recognize that outside of Ebert I think is not super great.)
NY Times Short Review: In this sequel to the 2010 “Clash of the Titans” remake, Zeus asks his demigod son for help, as the battle for supremacy between the gods and the Titans goes on.
Poster – Wrath of the Tight Twins
(This looks markedly worse than the first one even though it’s essentially the same. I’m not sure why. I can kind of smell the stench of garbage wafting off of it. C-.)
Tagline(s) – Feel the Wrath (D-)
(Boooooooo.)
Keyword(s) – wisdom
Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.4 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)
BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), … (and many more)
Best Options (Action): 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 56.8 Land of the Lost (2009), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 44.5 Wrath of the Titans (2012), 44.0 Allegiant (2016), 41.2 Clash of the Titans (2010), 40.9 Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), 40.6 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 36.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016), 34.3 Van Helsing (2004), 34.2 The Tourist (2010), 34.1 Taken 3 (2014), 33.4 Sahara (2005), 32.3 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991), 31.1 Justice League (2017), 30.3 The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016), 29.4 Waist Deep (2006), 27.9 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.7 Dracula Untold (2014), 27.6 Rush Hour 3 (2007), 27.3 Antitrust (2001), 27.0 War (2007), 25.6 Pokémon: The First Movie – Mewtwo Strikes Back (1998), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 24.6 King Arthur (2004), 22.0 Now You See Me 2 (2016), 21.7 Let’s Be Cops (2014), 21.0 Act of Valor (2012), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Kick-Ass 2 (2013), 17.0 Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010), 16.9 Eagle Eye (2008), 16.7 Tears of the Sun (2003), 14.8 The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 14.8 Angels & Demons (2009), 12.8 The Island (2005), 9.3 Underworld (2003), 6.6 Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
(Don’t worry, we’ll hit up all three TMNT films soon enough …)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sam Worthington is No. 1 billed in Wrath of the Titans and No. 1 billed in Clash of the Titans, which also stars Gemma Arterton (No. 2 billed) who is in Runner Runner (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 14. If we were to watch Marlowe we can get the HoE Number down to 13.
Notes – The movie takes place 10 years after the previous one.
Gemma Arterton was originally supposed to return, but scheduling conflicts with Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) prevented that. Her character was written out, rather than being re-cast, as Andromeda was.
Hephaestus converses with Bubo, the mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans (1981).
Bill Nighy, who plays Hephaestus, when recognizing Perseus, says “Release the Kraken”. Nighy plays “Davy Jones” in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006) and says the same thing.
In preparation for her role as Andromeda, Rosamund Pike was instructed by director Jonathan Liebesman to study Mel Gibson’s William Wallace in Braveheart (1995), not fellow Bond girl Sophie Marceau’s Princess Isabelle as she’d naturally, though wrongly, anticipated.
Contenders for the role of Andromeda were Hayley Atwell, Georgina Haig, Janet Montgomery, Dominique McElligott, and Clémence Poésy. The role was previously portrayed in Clash of the Titans (2010) by Alexa Davalos, who turned down an offer to reprise it.
Javier Bardem was considered for the role of Ares, and James Franco was considered to play Agenor.
Rosamund Pike replaced Alexa Davalos from Clash of the Titans (2010) as Andromeda.
Sent to the cinemas under code name “Torn Between”.
The sound the Minotaur makes is a recording of the grunt of an elephant. It also happens to be the very same sound effect used for the Minotaur-boss in Hercules (1997) .
A sequel for the film, titled “Revenge of the Titans” was in production, and the plot would have involved the resurrection of the gods. However, it was later scrapped, due to the poor reception of this film.
Bad Movie Twins 