Between dancing with his mannequins and assuring his mother that he is making them beautiful for her (always for her) during one of her many unsettling visits to his room, Kyle slowly makes his way to the mannequin in the corner. “Pssst,” he whispers, not wanting to alert his mother or make the other mannequins jealous. “Is… is someone else there?” A shaky voice responds. He was right! This isn’t just a gorgeous mannequin, it’s a man trapped down here like him. He tells him what has happened. “Whu… Kyle? My god, it’s me, Jorge. How? We were sent down after you. Me and the other Dos Amigos. They’re gone. They’re dead.” Kyle is shaken. He doesn’t want to ask the question but he can’t help it. How long ago did they get sent down to the basement? The room grows colder. He could feel his mother returning. “Kyle… it’s been three weeks. They said you guys were fine. That you got all your spoons and we could too,” Jorge responds. Kyle quickly tries to explain. The hallucinations. The flashlight. Why is it happening to him? The questions are spilling out of him. They can hear the door creaking open. His mother! My god! Jorge grabs him by the shirt and shakes him hard. “Help me, you imbecile. You are just protecting yourself with your memories of a safe place. Your youthful mannequin factory. Snap out of it and help me!” At that, Jorge slaps him and his eyes clear. He is shocked and disgusted to find he’s not in a cozy mannequin factory at all. He’s in a dusty basement and numerous rodents are crawling around his feet. When he looks up he sees his mother… but now she’s a giant rat with wings and it is super gross. That’s right! We are watching a film full of super gross rodents. No, it’s not a rewatch of Graveyard Shift (I wish). It’s G-Force where a bunch of guinea pigs are on a secret mission to take money from unsuspecting parents of kids who like talking animals. Gross. Let’s go!
G-Force (2009) – BMeTric: 61.6; Notability: 71
StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.8%; Notability: top 4.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.8%; Higher BMeT: Dragonball Evolution, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, Stan Helsing, S. Darko, The Unborn, Dance Flick, Halloween II, Year One, All About Steve, Did You Hear About the Morgans?, The Final Destination, Bitch Slap, Survival of the Dead, Obsessed; Higher Notability: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, 2012, Angels & Demons, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Terminator Salvation, The Lovely Bones, Nine, Fast & Furious, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Land of the Lost; Lower RT: Labor Pains, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Miss March, Old Dogs, All About Steve, Whiteout, Beyond a Reasonable Doubt, Echelon Conspiracy, Post Grad, My Life in Ruins, The Unborn, Bride Wars, Couples Retreat, Did You Hear About the Morgans?, The Pink Panther 2, The Stepfather, S. Darko, I Love You, Beth Cooper, The Ugly Truth, Year One, and 19 more; Notes: That Notability is insane. Is it because you have a whole cast of voice actors and regular actors? I am peronsonally 7/11 for the Notability ones and 8/17 on BMeTric, so still a ways to go on 2009.
RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – “G-Force” is a pleasant, inoffensive 3-D animated farce about a team of superspy guinea pigs who do battle with a mad billionaire who wants to conquer the earth by programming all the home appliances made by his corporation to follow his instructions. It will possibly be enjoyed by children of all ages.
(Children of all ages, huh? I disagree. It skews a bit young, especially the middle bit where it is just a bunch of CGI guinea pigs running around without a discernible plot.)
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD_fezWiaZ0/
(They put the sexy guinea pig in the trailer! What are we teaching our kids? The cast is stacked though. This trailer is also so long, what the hell?)
Directors – Hoyt Yeatman – ( BMT: G-Force; Notes: A very well established visual effects guy. Still does stuff, he’s the supervisor on the show Schmigadoon! for example. Won an Oscar for The Abyss, and was nominated for Mighty Joe Young.)
Writers – Cormac Wibberley and Marianne Wibberley – ( Known For: National Treasure; Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle; The 6th Day; Motel Blue; Future BMT: Bad Boys II; National Treasure: Book of Secrets; The Shaggy Dog; BMT: I Spy; G-Force; Notes: Married, and they seem to have some relationship with Nic Cage maybe. Cormac’s father was a writer in his own right, including writing the novel The Mouse that Roared.)
Hoyt Yeatman – ( BMT: G-Force; Notes: He possibly has a second feature directing job lined up called Voyager 3D … but I’m skeptical.)
David P.I. James – ( BMT: G-Force; Notes: Also a visual effects guy, worked with Yeatman on at least Mission to Mars I think. He did effects on the BMT classic Ghosted.)
Actors – Will Arnett – ( Known For: Ratatouille; Despicable Me; The Lego Movie; Men in Black³; Ice Age: The Meltdown; Grindhouse; Blades of Glory; Monsters vs. Aliens; The Lego Batman Movie; Horton Hears a Who!; Minions: The Rise of Gru; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Wristcutters: A Love Story; Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers; The Rocker; Teen Titans GO! To the Movies; Next Goal Wins; Rumble; Series 7: The Contenders; Future BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows; Hot Rod; Semi-Pro; Monster-in-Law; RV; The Nut Job; Let’s Go to Prison; The Comebacks; The Brothers Solomon; The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; When in Rome; Jonah Hex; G-Force; Show Dogs; Notes: Nominated for 7 Emmys which I found kind of crazy because I couldn’t really think of what show he did that garnered that amount of love. It was once for Arrested Development, four times as a guest star on 30 Rock, and twice as the producer of Bojack Horseman. Kind of amazing he’s top billed.)
Penélope Cruz – ( Known For: Murder on the Orient Express; Blow; Vicky Cristina Barcelona; Volver; All About My Mother; To Rome with Love; Open Your Eyes; Pain and Glory; Broken Embraces; Ferrari; Everybody Knows; Bandidas; Parallel Mothers; Live Flesh; I’m So Excited!; Elegy; Loving Pablo; Twice Born; Head in the Clouds; Jamón, Jamón; Future BMT: Gothika; The Brothers Grimsby; The Counselor; Sahara; Nine; The 355; All the Pretty Horses; Woman on Top; BMT: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides; Vanilla Sky; Sex and the City 2; Zoolander 2; G-Force; Captain Corelli’s Mandolin; Notes: Kind of insane she is listed first among the voice actors! Won an Oscar for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and was nominated three other times including for the future BMT film Nine which is bizarre to think about.)
Zach Galifianakis – ( Known For: The Hangover; Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance); Into the Wild; Up in the Air; Puss in Boots; The Lego Batman Movie; It’s Kind of a Funny Story; The Campaign; Dinner for Schmucks; The Muppets; Youth in Revolt; Heartbreakers; A Wrinkle in Time; Ron’s Gone Wrong; Muppets Most Wanted; Between Two Ferns: The Movie; Missing Link; Below; The Bob’s Burgers Movie; Justin Bieber’s Believe; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; Masterminds; Bubble Boy; Tulip Fever; Corky Romano; BMT: What Happens in Vegas; Keeping Up with the Joneses; G-Force; Out Cold; Notes: His current career is kind of weird. Lots of voice acting at this point (including an upcoming Lilo & Stitch remake?). But then he does odd small comedies, and he’s playing himself (presumably as the penthouse resident) in the next season of Only Murders in the Building.)
Budget/Gross – $150,000,000 / Domestic: $119,436,770 (Worldwide: $292,817,898)
(See. I feel like the original budget for this was like $100 million and they would have been fine. A small profit, but still fine. $300 million worldwide and probably not making a ton is just not how children’s programming works I think.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (28/128): G-Force features manic action, but fails to come up with interesting characters or an inspired plot.
(Yeah that sounds correct. The rating is actually lover that I expected. Something about this film screams 30s. But 22% is really really solid.)
Reviewer Highlight: Pointing out G-Force’s plot holes would be redundant; it’s more hole than plot, and more videogame commercial and exhausted-old-trope clearinghouse than film. – Tasha Robinson, AV Club
Poster – skloG-Force
(Why in the world are they in a desert? And why are there helicopters in the background? Are they… are they implying that these guinea pigs are somehow involved in a ground war in the Middle East? My word. D)
Tagline(s) – The world needs bigger heroes (A-)
(Ha! I don’t like the poster at all, but I like this tagline. It’s funny. So sue me.)
Keyword(s) – 2007-2015
Top 10: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), The Hangover Part II (2011), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), In Time (2011), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 2012 (2009), Terminator Salvation (2009), Due Date (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.6 Shark Night (2011), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.6 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 72.1 Dance Flick (2009), 71.3 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013)
BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Prom Night (2008), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Ouija (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011), Getaway (2013), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), …
Best Options (Fist Fight): 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 64.8 Sex Tape (2014), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 61.6 G-Force (2009), 59.4 First Sunday (2008), 55.1 Evan Almighty (2007), 54.4 The Counselor (2013), 52.3 How Do You Know (2010), 50.5 Cop Out (2010), 48.6 Lottery Ticket (2010), 43.9 Prom (2011), 42.8 12 Rounds (2009), 40.1 The Heartbreak Kid (2007), 37.9 Think Like a Man Too (2014), 37.1 Hall Pass (2011), 34.1 Taken 3 (2014), 30.4 Vacation (2015), 24.7 The Internship (2013), 24.7 The Change-Up (2011), 24.7 Horrible Bosses 2 (2014), 24.0 Before I Go to Sleep (2014), 23.2 Secret in Their Eyes (2015), 21.7 Let’s Be Cops (2014), 19.1 Life as We Know It (2010), 18.6 For Colored Girls (2010), 15.8 The Odd Life of Timothy Green (2012), 15.2 Men, Women & Children (2014), 14.8 Max (2015), 14.2 Death Sentence (2007), 13.6 When the Game Stands Tall (2014), 4.7 Little Boy (2015)
(Because it is really considered to be quite bad this is actually an impressive option. Spoiler: I’ve actually seen Sex Tape (a boring commercial for an iPad and Apple cloud storage) and Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (really unpleasant and unnecessary), so those were never in the cards. This gave the best through-line for the chain in the end.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Nicolas Cage is No. 5 billed in G-Force and No. 1 billed in The Wicker Man, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (5 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.
Notes – Director Hoyt Yeatman’s son, Hoyt Yeatman IV, came up with the original idea for the film when he was five years old. Yeatman liked his son’s story so much that he brought it to producer Jerry Bruckheimer.
The “Coke” Ferris wheel shown in the movie is located on the island of Okinawa, Japan in a shopping and entertainment district called “American Village.”
This was Jerry Bruckheimer’s first 3-D film.
Nicolas Cage’s 2nd time voice acting in a theatrical film, after The Ant Bully (2006).
This is the second film that Nicolas Cage and Steve Buscemi made with Jerry Bruckheimer since Con Air (1997).
Bad Movie Twins 