Before them sat Jamie just as they had left him, but now he was not alone. There was a slight man in there with him and the man was… “Is he washing him?” Kyle asks, bile rising in his throat. Indeed this impish figure was washing Jamie and in his other free hand he held a pair of jorts. Tears were streaming down Jamie’s face in thanks. “They don’t care anymore,” he wailed, “They don’t care that I’m deaf and have no jorts. But you care, sweet little troll or whatever you are. Are you a hobbit? Don’t answer because I’m deaf and I won’t hear you and it will annoy me.” This carries on as Patrick and Kyle enter the room and the little man’s eyes widen in fear. He holds up a finger to his lips and Patrick and Kyle understand. They let him finish and afterwards Jamie is clean and bejorted and slightly less miserable. The little man leans in and gives Jamie a small kiss on the cheek, who swats at him and gets back to his typical whining about the lack of adequate v-neck depth in the shirts of today’s youths. The little elf man creeps into the other room and beckons them over. Once safely away from Jamie, he quickly takes off his disguise. “My word, it’s no hobbit or whatever, it’s Samantha!” Kyle exclaims. Indeed Samantha, having heard about Jamie’s affliction had returned and begun secretly taking care of him. “But you can’t reveal the secret to him. He’s never let me help if he knew it was me because of his hearing. He’s ashamed.” They understand, but what should they call her? “You shall call me by my birth name, Porky Romano.” Patrick gasps. That’s right! We aren’t watching Porky Romano, but rather the much more popular and famous Corky Romano which I believe was the most popular film of 2001. Although, I could be wrong about that. We are pairing that with one of the (unfortunately many) Razzie Worst Picture winners that never got a theatrical release. This time it’s Dirty Love starring Jenny McCarthy. Cool. Let’s go!
Corky Romano (2001) – BMeTric: 60.1; Notability: 44
StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.8%; Notability: top 16.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 1.6%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Driven, Freddy Got Fingered, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Soul Survivors, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Valentine, Monkeybone, The Musketeer; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Monkeybone, Hannibal, Impostor, Not Another Teen Movie, Ghosts of Mars, Bubble Boy, Swordfish, Along Came a Spider, The One, 15 Minutes, Scary Movie 2, The Affair of the Necklace, America’s Sweethearts, Town & Country, I Am Sam, Don’t Say a Word, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Just Visiting, and 21 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men; Notes: Wow we watched 10 of the 12 films above this by BMeT and all but All the Queen’s Men (which is a bizarre British cross dressing film) for RT. That BMeT is not surprisingly quite good though.
RogerEbert.com – 0.5 stars – ‘Corky Romano” continues the “Saturday Night Live” Jinx, which in recent years has frustrated the talented members of the TV program in their efforts to make watchable movies. It’s a desperately unfunny gangster spoof, starring Chris Kattan as the kid brother in a Mafia family, so trusting and naive he really does believe his father is in the landscaping business. … “Corky Romano” is like a dead zone of comedy. The concept is exhausted, the ideas are tired, the physical gags are routine, the story is labored, the actors look like they can barely contain their doubts about the project.
(I’m honestly a little surprised this didn’t get a thumbs down. This feels perfect for that. A movie that is barely a movie with (quite literally) no script. That seems ripe for Ebert to reject wholesale.)
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LlHmJ3xqHM/
(Lol Peter Falk. Man I remember this trailer so well. IN A DAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO. IT was on all the time at the time. “Hi, you guys want some cookies.” Jesus Christ, it is imprinted in my mind.)
Directors – Rob Pritts – ( BMT: Corky Romano; Notes: So my understanding was they needed to get this movie done TODAY. Not tomorrow. Not in a week. It had to be done NOW. And this guy was the guy who said he could do it. And he did, in some incredible short amount of time, which is why the film seems so weirdly improvisational.)
Writers – David Garrett and Jason Ward – ( BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Corky Romano; Notes: I’m not joking when I say I think we were this close to having the one and only BMT film without credited screenwriters if the stories about how this film was “written” were to be believed. But yeah, look at that BMT murderer’s row.)
Actors – Chris Kattan – ( Known For: Hotel Transylvania 2; Leo; Undercover Brother; Nancy Drew; Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters; Foodfight!; Santa’s Slay; Guns, Girls and Gambling; Tanner Hall; Adam & Steve; Guest House; Christmas in Wonderland; Undead or Alive: A Zombedy; Hard Breakers; Slightly Single in L.A.; Walk of Fame; The Making of ‘…and God Spoke’; The Last Film Festival; Future BMT: A Night at the Roxbury; House on Haunted Hill; Delgo; BMT: The Ridiculous 6; Monkeybone; Corky Romano; Notes: Obviously most famous for Saturday Night Live, which he left in 2003. Does mostly voice stuff now from what I can tell.)
Peter Falk – ( Known For: The Princess Bride; Wings of Desire; The Player; It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World; Murder by Death; Undisputed; A Woman Under the Influence; The Great Race; Made; The Great Muppet Caper; Opening Night; The In-Laws; Faraway, So Close!; Pocketful of Miracles; Husbands; Mikey and Nicky; The Cheap Detective; Robin and the 7 Hoods; Anzio; The Brink’s Job; Future BMT: Shark Tale; Next; Vibes; Roommates; BMT: Corky Romano; Notes: Just one more thing. Colombo! His film work is always funny, especially the late stuff where it is like … why are you in Corky Romano again?)
Vinessa Shaw – ( Known For: Eyes Wide Shut; 3:10 to Yuma; Side Effects; The Hills Have Eyes; Two Lovers; Cold in July; Melinda and Melinda; Puncture; Big Miracle; The Weight of Water; Clinical; 12 Mighty Orphans; We Need to Do Something; Garden Party; Stag Night; Come Out and Play; Family Blood; L.A. Without a Map; After the Fall; Electric Slide; Future BMT: Hocus Pocus; 40 Days and 40 Nights; Ladybugs; BMT: Corky Romano; Notes: The girl from Hocus Pocus. I saw that recently … not as good as I remember, but probably better than most people remember.)
Budget/Gross – $11 million / Domestic: $23,980,304 (Worldwide: $25,272,752)
(That isn’t bad. Especially considering, again, that is seemed like it was barely a movie.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 7% (6/84): Corky Romano continues the trend of bad movies featuring SNL members. The jokes are tired and unfunny, and the slapstick feels forced.
(Wowza, I do love <10% RT films. Knocking all of those off eventually would be a good goal. The wide releases I mean. Although even the non-wide releases might be tenable if we just focused on the 90s/00s. Only big films got 5+ reviews back then I think.)
Reviewer Highlight: With a great many contemporary comedies mistaking excess for invention and hyperactivity for dynamism, Corky Romano displays genuine heart. – Miles Beller, Los Angeles Times
Poster – Skloggins Romano
(I mean… I like how bright and ridiculous it is. It’s actually very reminiscent of the famous Knocked Up poster that was actually very good. But I’m not sure the face of Chris Kattan is as intriguing as that. C+.)
Tagline(s) – Who is Corky Romano? (D)
(Yeah… right? This doesn’t work.)
Keyword(s) – 1999-2007
Top 10: The Matrix Revolutions (2003), The Butterfly Effect (2004), The Da Vinci Code (2006), The Fast and the Furious (2001), Men in Black II (2002), Man on Fire (2004), Click (2006), Pearl Harbor (2001), Fantastic Four (2005), The Island (2005)
Future BMT: 93.5 Date Movie (2006), 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.8 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.3 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.6 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 71.1 Soul Plane (2004), 70.6 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 70.3 Delta Farce (2007), 69.3 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)
BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Elektra (2005), Taxi (2004), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), Wild Wild West (1999), …
Best Options (wiki-snl): 52.1 Superstar (1999)
(I just wanted to see what was available for SNL films. Superstar is a fun one, but unfortunately 1999 was spoken for. Corky Romano is not an SNL film, but it is kind of close enough to it to be fun.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Chris Kattan is No. 1 billed in Corky Romano and No. 4 billed in Monkeybone, which also stars Brendan Fraser (No. 1 billed) who is in Escape from Planet Earth (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jessica Alba (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch 40 Days and 40 Nights we can get the HoE Number down to 10.
Notes – According to the screenwriters on Selling Your Screenplay podcast #81, the only reason the film was greenlit was due to a pending Actor strike in Sept 2000, so it was written in 10 days in May, filmed in June and wrapped in August- unheard of for a major studio film.
In his 2019 autobiography “Baby Don’t Hurt Me”, Chris Kattan noted that Paul Thomas Anderson (writer-director of Boogie Nights and Magnolia) and Richard LaGravenese (screenwriter of The Fisher King) each assisted with rewriting the script for Corky Romano, and they received no official credit. SNL writers Matt Piedmont and Scott Wainio also contributed to the rewrites.
One of Robert Pattinson’s favorite films.
Originally advertised as Corky Romano: ‘Special’ Agent, the movie was released as simply Corky Romano. The term ‘special’ with the marks around it was thought be making fun of a character’s mental disability.
According to Chris Kattan , he originally portrayed Corky Romano more realistic and less like a caricature. But after Disney executive Peter Schneider fell asleep while watching the first rough ensemble of a footage shot during the first three weeks of production, producer Robert Simonds ordered all the footage that had been assembled at that time to be re-shot. Because of the tight budget, these re-shoots could not be done separately but had to be incorporated into the rest of the shoot, and Simonds insisted that Kattan play the lead in a much more cartoony way, smiling constantly.
Bad Movie Twins 