I’ve been watching Rambo films non-stop for a week now, I’ve lived, built a family, and died happily surrounded by that family as an old man while watching these films … and much like Rambo himself, it feels like I’ve sustained thousands of concussions and can’t remember a thing about Rambo: Last Blood … can you?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) What does Rambo do for a living in his new quiet life in Arizona?
2) What is Rambo’s relationship with the young lady that is kidnapped in Mexico?
3) Why does this young woman want to go to Mexico? And how does she end up being kidnapped by a Mexican prostitution ring?
4) What happens to the young lady in the end?
5) How does Rambo kill the two brothers who run the prostitution ring in the end?
1) He’s a horse trainer. He seems to own and breed and work out champion horses. Right out of the Rambo III playbook: Rambo is amazing at horseback riding.
2) I believe he vaguely rents out part of his ranch to the family. That family used to consist of the grandmother, mother, father, and daughter. After the mother died of cancer though the father ran off to Mexico. The young lady is basically Rambo’s surrogate daughter whom he’s trained to ride horses at a competitive level.
3) She wants to go to Mexico to see her father one last time and ask him why he abandoned her. The answer, sadly, is because he never loved her. He only ever loved her mother and when she died he had no reason to stay in America he felt. Distraught, the “friend” who helped her find her father offers to take her out on the town, where she is roofied and kidnapped by the prostitution ring.
4) She dies. Presumably of an overdose as you see that they have been injecting her with heroine or something for about five days before she is rescued. Which seems … weird. The idea they would accidentally overdose the prostitute they just got just seems strange to me. Unlucky for Rambo and the prostitution ring in the end.
5) Well first he sets up a real Home Alone like thing in the tunnels he has on his ranch (oh … haven’t I mentioned that random, but incredibly important plot detail yet?). Then he goes down to Mexico and sneaks onto the prostitution ring compound and cuts off one brother’s head. The other brother sneaks over the border, but gets trapped in the Home Alone maze, only to be shot up with arrows in the barn, and then he has his heart cut out. The End. Like literally, that happens and then Rambo chills on his porch. Presumably to wait for the authorities to arrive.
Ah right, Rambo home-aloned a bunch of human traffickers in some tunnels in Arizona. I’m not sure how to live my life without watching Rambo films though, I just want America to love me as much as I love Rambo films!