When the time machine settles, LePumice stares in awe at the thousands of teeny-boppers streaming into a nearby stadium as fireworks go off overhead. “What thuuuuu…” he mutters dumbly and Jamie and Patrick shake their heads in embarrassment. “It was… a weird time in our lives. I’m a little surprised you didn’t recognize us,” Jamie says and he and Patrick strike their signature PaJama ParTy Pose. Patrick coughs uncomfortably, “it doesn’t work as well without Parsons and Ty in the mix.” LePumice is shocked beyond words. “You… you were PaJama ParTy? The most massive boy band of the early 2000s? I was… I am a giant fan. How did that one hit go? ‘I need you girl, don’t be tardy. Keep it casual…’” Jamie completes the lyrics quietly, “‘at my pajama party.’” LePumice’s mind is blown. It seems impossible that the former members of PaJama ParTy could walk around without constantly being mobbed by legions of fans, but then again Jamie and Patrick had since become famous as the Bad Movie Twins and Parsons McPhee and Ty Whistler… well… “What ever happened to the other members of the group?” LePumice says, struggling to remember when he had last heard their names, even. Jamie and Patrick stare wistfully into the distance at the stadium. “You’ll find out tonight, I guess,” Patrick says sadly, “This was our last concert.” It’s August 16th, 2003, a sweltering evening in El Paso, Texas, and it’s the night that PaJama ParTy died. They were brought here for a reason, but what? To keep the band together? To save Ty from himself? To simply keep the concert from its disastrous conclusion? It didn’t matter what, first they had to get backstage. “Get in the right frame of mind, we’re going hunting.” Patrick states. That’s right! We’re watching the LL Cool J classic, Mindhunters. It’s a story about a serial killer on an island and it’s a totally original concept. Let’s go!
Mindhunters (2004) – BMeTric: 23.5; Notability: 37
StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 31.2%; Notability: top 22.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.5%; Higher BMeT: Catwoman, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, You Got Served, Torque, Taxi, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Soul Plane, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, Garfield, Thunderbirds, Seed of Chucky, Envy, Godsend, Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London, Fat Albert, Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, New York Minute, Exorcist: The Beginning, First Daughter, The Stepford Wives, and 58 more; Higher Notability: Catwoman, Shark Tale, Van Helsing, The Chronicles of Riddick, King Arthur, Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, Alexander, After the Sunset, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Blade: Trinity, She Hate Me, The Stepford Wives, Fat Albert, Man on Fire, Meet the Fockers, Around the World in 80 Days, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, Along Came Polly, The Phantom of the Opera, Alien vs. Predator, and 35 more; Lower RT: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, Twisted, My Baby’s Daddy, The Whole Ten Yards, Godsend, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie – Pyramid of Light, The Cookout, Christmas with the Kranks, Johnson Family Vacation, Envy, Surviving Christmas, First Daughter, Catwoman, The Dust Factory, Taxi, House of D, Exorcist: The Beginning, New York Minute, Employee of the Month, A Cinderella Story, and 37 more; Notes: Once again, pretty good IMDb rating. Nearly 6.5 which I think would be a pretty convincing cutoff. Looking at the BMeT films, we really need to watch You Got Served.
RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – One of Those Among Us Is a Killer, and We Cannot Leave This (a) Isolated Country Estate, (b) Besieged Police Station, (c) Antarctic Research Outpost, (d) Haunted House, (e) Space Station (f) Rogue Planet or (g) Summer Camp until we find out who it is — or until we all die. It is a most ancient and dependable formula, invariably surprising us with the identity of the killer, because the evidence is carefully rigged to point first to one suspect and then another, until they persuasively clear their names by getting murdered.
(In another part of the review Ebert suggests that if you’ve seen The Third Man it will help immensely in determining the killer in the film. Hinteresting. I have not seem that film.)
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTLaj8JuIsc/
(I’m jazzed up baby! A little sneak preview of what BMT has in store for us, because after watching this Dimension masterpiece we are just itched to watch more of these hilarious and dumb Dimension films. Buckle up.)
Directors – Renny Harlin – ( Known For: The Misfits; Cleaner; Die Hard 2; Deep Blue Sea; The Long Kiss Goodnight; Cliffhanger; Devil’s Pass; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; 5 Days of War; Skiptrace; Prison; Born American; Bodies at Rest; Legend of the Ancient Sword; Future BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Exorcist: The Beginning; 12 Rounds; BMT: The Covenant; Mindhunters; The Legend of Hercules; Cutthroat Island; Driven; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director in 1991 for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; in 1996 for Cutthroat Island; in 2002 for Driven; in 2005 for Exorcist: The Beginning; in 2015 for The Legend of Hercules; and in 2022 for The Misfits; Notes: The Legend of Hercules! He looooooooves poppin’ abs. That’s all I know about him. Apparently his original last name was Harjola, and he’s considered the most successful Finnish director in Hollywood history.)
Writers – Wayne Kramer – ( Known For: Running Scared; The Cooler; Crossing Over; BMT: Mindhunters; Notes: Born in South Africa. He also directed The Cooler, for which Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Academy Award.)
Kevin Brodbin – ( Known For: Constantine; The Siege of Jadotville; BMT: Mindhunters; The Glimmer Man; Notes: There is really nothing about this guy despite writing The Glimmer Man of all things. He still seemingly makes movies, so I assume he mostly does uncredited stuff.)
Actors – Val Kilmer – ( Known For: Heat; Top Gun; Tombstone; True Romance; Willow; The Missing; Deja Vu; The Prince of Egypt; Real Genius; The Doors; The Birthday Cake; Top Secret!; Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; Jay and Silent Bob Reboot; The Ghost and the Darkness; MacGruber; Song to Song; Kill the Irishman; Palo Alto; Twixt; Future BMT: Alexander; The Saint; Planes; Red Planet; At First Sight; The Real McCoy; Delgo; BMT: Batman Forever; The Snowman; The Island of Dr. Moreau; Mindhunters; The Love Guru; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for The Saint in 1998; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 1997 for The Island of Dr. Moreau; and in 2005 for Alexander; Notes: Notably suffered from throat cancer, but he has been cancer free for a few years now. We’ll see what happens with Top Gun 2, which he is in. They say they’ve recreated his voice using AI technology, so there might be a way for him to return to consistent acting which would be kind of a cool story.)
LL Cool J – ( Known For: Charlie’s Angels; S.W.A.T.; Deep Blue Sea; Any Given Sunday; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; The Hard Way; Last Holiday; Edison; Deliver Us from Eva; Touch; The Deal; Out-of-Sync; Future BMT: Wildcats; B*A*P*S; In Too Deep; Woo; Kingdom Come; Slow Burn; Caught Up; BMT: Mindhunters; Toys; Rollerball; Grudge Match; Notes: Ladies love him. Was a very early signing for Def Jam Recordings releasing his first album in 1985.)
Christian Slater – ( Known For: True Romance; Nymphomaniac: Vol. I; Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles; Heathers; Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery; Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves; Zoolander; We Can Be Heroes; Pump Up the Volume; The Name of the Rose; FernGully: The Last Rainforest; Broken Arrow; Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country; The Legend of Billie Jean; Very Bad Things; Ask Me Anything; The Wife; Tales from the Darkside: The Movie; The Contender; Bullet to the Head; Future BMT: Windtalkers; The Wizard; Hot Tub Time Machine 2; Igor; Bed of Roses; Mobsters; Kuffs; Jimmy Hollywood; The Ten Commandments; BMT: Young Guns II; Mindhunters; 3000 Miles to Graceland; Alone in the Dark; Hard Rain; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 1992 for Mobsters, and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves; Notes: His mother was a casting director in Hollywood (including several of his films) which is how his family (including his half-brother) got into acting.)
Budget/Gross – $27 million / Domestic: $4,480,744 (Worldwide: $21,148,829)
(Oh wow, horrible. Makes sense they would go big for it, but seriously, that is a huge bomb. Didn’t even get back to the budget level worldwide.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 24% (29/119): A retread of Ten Little Indians that lacks the source material’s wit.
(HAHAHAHA. You think? Oh Mindhunters starring Val Kilmer, LL Cool J, and Christian Slater couldn’t match wits with Agatha Christie? Shocking.)
Reviewer Highlight: The illogic of the situation is so extreme that the final confrontation plays like an afterthought. – Robert Koehler, Variety.
Poster – Mindskloggers
(Wow! That’s the worst! I always hope to click on a link and have that beautiful The Avengers (1998) feeling and boy this gets close. It makes no sense, the coloring is terrible, the font is mostly bullshit as is the spacing, and it actually hurts my eyes. It’s near anti-perfection! Wow. F.)
Tagline(s) – For seven elite profilers, finding a serial killer is a process of elimination. Their own. (D)
(This is all you need to know to see how unoriginal this all is. This is clearly Ten Little Indians. Also it’s far too long even if I kinda like the ultimate payoff.)
Keyword(s) – serial-killer
Top 10: The Batman (2022), Fresh (2022), Scream (2022), Batman Begins (2005), Joker (2019), Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021), Scream (1996), Pulp Fiction (1994), Se7en (1995), Prisoners (2013)
Future BMT: 85.3 Halloween: Resurrection (2002), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 74.8 Psycho (1998), 70.6 Halloween II (2009), 70.3 , 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 65.7 Valentine (2001), 64.8 My Soul to Take (2010), 62.8 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 61.7 Brahms: The Boy II (2020)
BMT: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Friday the 13th (2009), Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990), I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997), Urban Legend (1998), Kiss the Girls (1997), The Snowman (2017), Zoolander 2 (2016), Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984), Color of Night (1994), Halloween II (1981), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Jade (1995), Problem Child (1990), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), 88 Minutes (2007), Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982), Species II (1998), Untraceable (2008), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), The Glimmer Man (1996), Bless the Child (2000), Never Talk to Strangers (1995)
Matches: The Batman (2022), Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021), Scream (1996), Se7en (1995), The Silence of the Lambs (1991), The Little Things (2021), Scary Movie (2000), Monster (2003), The Lovely Bones (2009), Freaky (2020), Sherlock Holmes (2009), Saw (2004), Red Dragon (2002), In the Shadow of the Moon (2019), Kiss the Girls (1997), The Cell (2000), House of 1000 Corpses (2003), Manhunter (1986), Funny Games (2007), Midnight in the Switchgrass (2021), The Bone Collector (1999), Taking Lives (2004), The Gangster, the Cop, the Devil (2019), Child’s Play (1988), The Frozen Ground (2013), Disturbia (2007), Nightbreed (1990), Mr. Brooks (2007), The Howling (1981), The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007), The Midnight Meat Train (2008), Frequency (2000), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Saw II (2005), Solace (2015), No Man of God (2021), Blitz (2011), Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998), Maniac (2012), Virtuosity (1995), Problem Child (1990), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Cruising (1980), … (and many more)
(I think I’ve mentioned it before, but yeah. We really got into serial killers in the 90s. This film isn’t on the graph because it actually doesn’t have that keyword. But surely it must? It is, by definition, about a serial killer killing serial killer profilers.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: LL Cool J is No. 3 billed in Mindhunters and No. 2 billed in Rollerball, which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.
Notes – The studio did not cast any character as a lead. Director Renny Harlin wanted no dummy characters or obvious victims and established a sense that “anyone could die at any moment” in the film.
The primary reason the film was able to be done on such a modest budget was due to a generous tax break from the Dutch government.
As part of LL Cool J’s preparation, he lost nearly 40 pounds and spent time with homicide detectives in the Philadelphia (PA) Police Dept.
The cast met with FBI personnel and underwent military weapons training for their roles.
Several variations of the ending were filmed. After numerous test screening were held in the United States in 2003, the final version of the film was determined for theatrical release.
Wayne Kramer sold the original spec screenplay of “Mindhunters” to 20th Century Fox. The title of his screenplay was originally called “UNSUB” (Unknown Subject) – but Fox executives preferred the title: MINDHUNTERS and changed it right before the deal was announced to the entertainment press. Kramer never felt comfortable with the title change because there was already a non-fiction book by John Douglas called MINDHUNTER.
The FBI maintains a vaunted computerized profiling operation in Quantico, Virginia. “Mindhunters” is an unofficial name for the profilers that handle the 300-plus referrals a year from local, state and federal law enforcement agencies.
Director Renny Harlin noted that the ensemble cast had a fantastic time living in Amsterdam for the shoot. “The main thing was to cut down on people’s fun, to make sure they showed up for work.”
To maximize tax breaks and keep the budget at the lowest possible level, the film was moved to England for post-production.
Originally set for a US theatrical release in 2003 and then early 2004, the film was pushed back to 4 June 2004. Secondary to numerous positive test screenings, it was pushed back once again to facilitate improved marketing of the film. But then two massive waves of layoffs occurred at Miramax and Dimension during this time, and the infamous Disney/Miramax split reached its height. The film remained in the Dimension vaults unreleased during this time. When the Disney and Miramax divorce was finally completed, numerous films under the Dimension label were released. This film finally made its theatrical debut in the United States on 13 May 2005.
A large part of the movie was filmed on the location where the Dutch anti riot police (Mobiele Eenheid) is trained. It’s a fake village where riots are simulated. There are still some traces of the movie. For instance, there still hangs a large poster on a wall, as can be seen in the movie.
The “Most Wanted” posters in the FBI Academy are of workers from the production’s art department.
In order to maintain its modest budget, the score was part of a package. A single fee covered the composer’s bill and also the cost of executing the score and orchestration, musicians for the non-electronic sections, mixing, and recording studio time.
Ehren Kruger did uncredited rewrites, based on Dimension’s belief in his script-doctoring capabilities often presented in their releases.
Bad Movie Twins 