Jamie and Patrick look out over BMaGOFHQ and see the empire they built over the last decade. It’s not easy combining the sharp wit of bad movie criticism with the great taste of Good Ooze, their flagship product of what became their much more lucrative beverage and (eventually) petroleum business. A statue of Scott Bakula stands towering over their busily working employees. At a certain point they had contemplated releasing the secret to Good Ooze’s great taste, but when Scott Bakula asked them on his deathbed to never reveal the secret they agreed to keep it hidden forever. But really it should be obvious. It’s like asking what makes Here on Earth go down so smooth? What makes your heart race every time you see Jeff Fahey, Bo Derek, and a motorcycle in the same room? What made the moment they kicked Kevin James’ head clean off so special to so many people? The answer is easy: Love. Sugar, water, and love. That’s all Great Ooze ever was. Kyle comes into the office bringing samples of their latest petroleum product: New Gasoline. “The third one tastes the best,” Jamie says, and everyone agrees. “But how does it align with our mission statement?” Patrick asks as they all look towards the banner hanging in their office. “Would Scott Bakula Drink This?” it asks, and in tiny letters below that, “It’s OK That You Kicked Kevin James’ Head Clean Off.” They all nod their heads. Just as Kyle is about to leave he mentions off hand about the big news. Jamie and Patrick are confused. What news? “The Caroline Hurricanes… they’re up for sale.” Jamie and Patrick are taken aback. Why didn’t anyone call them? “Call up Hartford!” they scream to their secretary. “And get ready… coach,” they say to Kyle. That’s right! We are watching Eddie, the Whoopi Goldberg comedy that came at the heyday of Whoopi. People literally couldn’t get enough of her and she has the People’s/Teen/Kids Choice Awards to show for it. For Bring a Friend we grabbed a film that aired on the only day we could find where Eddie played on TV (4/25/1999), Undefeatable. It’s a Cynthia Rothrock film, so just a couple of films featuring female leads. What a connection. Let’s go!
Eddie (1996) – BMeTric: 45.5; Notability: 61
StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.8%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.7%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Striptease, Bio-Dome, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Crow: City of Angels, Ed, Hellraiser: Bloodline, The Stupids, Spy Hard, Mr. Wrong, Poison Ivy II, D3: The Mighty Ducks, Solo, The Glimmer Man, First Kid, Eddie; Higher Notability: The Fan, Jingle All the Way, Spy Hard, Chain Reaction, Daylight, Up Close & Personal, Mulholland Falls, The Associate; Lower RT: The Dentist, Big Bully, Ed, Ripe, Bio-Dome, Kazaam, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard, Eye for an Eye, Bulletproof, Celtic Pride, Solo, Curdled, House Arrest, The Glimmer Man, The Crow: City of Angels, In Love and War, Larger Than Life, Down Periscope, Dear God, and 17 more; Notes: Barb Wire: played 47 times in the 90s. Kazaam: 25. Striptease: 39. Bio-Dome: 44 (including Christmas 1997). The Island of Dr. Moreau: only 4 (I think this is one of those times of trying to force home video rental / sales, it only started playing in July 1999 according to my data). This played only once according to the data, but I have a feeling it might be wrong in this particular case. The notability is pretty solid.
RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Eddie” begins with Whoopi Goldberg playing a limousine dispatcher who does a play-by-play of Knicks games over the radio to her drivers. It ends with Whoopi as the coach of the New York Knicks, who are headed for the NBA playoffs. This sounds like a sensational scenario, but, alas, almost everything in between is recycled out of lightweight sports-movie cliches, and the movie never captures the electricity and excitement of the real NBA. … The movie’s underlying plot doesn’t amount to much, either, with Wild Bill as the evil capitalist who wants to sell the team to St. Louis. How Eddie counters this desire is something I will not reveal, except to say I seriously doubt that there is a single referee in the NBA who would let her get away with it.
(I’ll also try and not spoil anything, but Ebert is right and wrong here. Yeah, they wouldn’t have allowed her to get away with it, but also the actual result (the Knicks forfeit) would have played right into Eddie’s hands. If the movie had any balls that would have been the actual result: a triumphant forfeit with Eddie suspended from coaching for a year or something.)
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iuDUSj5jaI/
(The trailer ending on a small dick joke is just classic 90s. The movie? Looks awful, like what’s really the point, you know all the story beats that are going to happen? Dumb.)
Directors – Steve Rash – ( Known For: Can’t Buy Me Love; The Buddy Holly Story; Under the Rainbow; Good Advice; Crooked Arrows; Queens Logic; Future BMT: Son in Law; Held Up; BMT: Eddie; Notes: No joke, Can’t Buy Me Love is basically one of the most “TV film” film in history. Nearly 100 times in the 90s, crazy stuff. He basically started doing those cheap direct-to-video sequels (American Pie Presents, Bring it On 4, that kind of this) in the early 2000s.)
Writers – Steve Zacharias and Jeff Buhai – ( Known For: Revenge of the Nerds; The Harrad Experiment; Last Resort; The Whoopee Boys; Future BMT: Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise; Johnny Be Good; BMT: In the Army Now; Eddie; Notes: He only wrote the first Revenge of the Nerds, the others are character credits. I’m just going to vaguely restate Zacharais’ sole IMDb trivia which is that he was his school’s best athlete in fourth grade. Genuinely on IMDb.)
Jon Connolly – ( Known For: The Dream Team; BMT: Eddie; Notes: Died in 2021. The Dream Team is a weird looking film.)
David Loucka – ( Known For: The Dream Team; Future BMT: House at the End of the Street; Dream House; BMT: Rings; Eddie; Notes: Seems like he was Connolly’s writing partner at the time, but eventually split off to make horror films instead.)
Eric Champnella – ( Known For: Thunderstruck; Mr. 3000; Alex & Me; BMT: Eddie; Notes: No joke seems to just be a writer they pull in to punch up sports comedies?)
Keith Mitchell – ( Known For: Mr. 3000; BMT: Eddie; Notes: Same thing! He was just a guy who exclusively punched up sports comedies!)
Dale Launer – ( Known For: My Cousin Vinny; Dirty Rotten Scoundrels; Ruthless People; Love Potion No. 9; Future BMT: Blind Date; BMT: The Hustle; Notes: The son of a character actor who seemed to have been most well known for playing a judge on Perry Mason. Claims he made up the term “dead on balls accurate” for Mona Lisa Vito in My Cousin Vinny)
Actors – Whoopi Goldberg – ( Known For: The Lion King; The Player; Girl, Interrupted; The Deep End of the Ocean; Ghost; Toy Story 3; Luck; In & Out; The Color Purple; Till; Sister Act; Rat Race; Star Trek: Generations; The Muppets; A Little Bit of Heaven; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Boys on the Side; My Father’s Dragon; How Stella Got Her Groove Back; Ghosts of Mississippi; Future BMT: The Little Rascals; Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit; Star Trek: Nemesis; The Pagemaster; Madea Goes to Jail; Loaded Weapon 1; Bordello of Blood; For Colored Girls; Nobody’s Fool; Jumpin’ Jack Flash; Racing Stripes; Corrina, Corrina; Made in America; House Party 2; Kingdom Come; Moonlight and Valentino; Fatal Beauty; Burglar; The Associate; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Monkeybone; Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2; Theodore Rex; Eddie; Notes: Y’all know Whoopi. She has a crazy number of qualifying films. She has done like 1000 episodes of The View. Still does it by the looks of it. Nominated for two Oscars, one for The Color Purple and then she won a surprise victory for Ghost.)
Frank Langella – ( Known For: Lolita; Captain Fantastic; Superman Returns; The Trial of the Chicago 7; Noah; The Ninth Gate; Small Soldiers; Dave; Draft Day; All Good Things; The Men’s Club; The Box; Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; Unknown; The Tale of Despereaux; Muppets Most Wanted; Good Night, and Good Luck.; Dracula; Frost/Nixon; 5 to 7; Future BMT: Junior; Sweet November; Brainscan; BMT: Masters of the Universe; Body of Evidence; Cutthroat Island; 1492: Conquest of Paradise; Eddie; Notes: Pretty surprising he has only been nominated for one Oscar for Frost/Nixon. According to reports he decided to be Skeletor in Masters of the Universe because it seemed fun.)
Dennis Farina – ( Known For: Saving Private Ryan; Snatch; Manhunter; Out of Sight; Thief; Midnight Run; Get Shorty; Bottle Shock; Code of Silence; Romeo Is Bleeding; Big Trouble; You Kill Me; That Old Feeling; The Grand; Authors Anonymous; Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling; Knucklehead; Sidewalks of New York; Purple Violets; Bagboy; Future BMT: Little Big League; Paparazzi; Striking Distance; Havana; The Mod Squad; Another Stakeout; Stealing Harvard; BMT: What Happens in Vegas; Reindeer Games; Eddie; Notes: Famously didn’t act until he was 37-years-old and then he was cast by Michael Mann as the lead role in Crime Story. Was a Chicago Police officer for 18 years.)
Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $31,387,164 (Worldwide: $31,387,164)
(Yeah … that’s no good. But what can you expect? It is a sports comedy starring Whoopi Goldberg. It’s just a bizarre combination.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 16% (6/37): Whoopi Goldberg may demonstrate that she can coach a basketball team with the best of them, but not even she can whip this dreary script into shape.
(Yeah, it really is just a poor concept, poor writing, no-laugh comedy. To be frank, it genuinely is a bizarre film where the sole joy is trying to figure out who the Knicks player with long blonde hair is.)
Reviewer Highlight: Avid basketball fan becomes Knicks head coach. Savvy, good-humored Cinderella story.
Poster – Coach Looks Like a Lady
(I’m actually offended by this poster. From the image down to the tagline, it’s playing into the worst stereotype of women in sports (mostly applied to women journalists). Like she’s placed in a shower with the players and then the tagline is basically like ‘ooh la la, she’s checking out these hunks.’ Weird, bad, and the most offensive part? It has nothing to do with the movie! That’s barely touched on in the film! I think there is one gag played early on, but I don’t even remember because it has so little relevance to the majority of the film. F.)
Tagline(s) – The Newest Coach In The NBA Has Got The Knicks Right Where She Wants Them. (F)
(Yeah, so I’m going to give this one an F to go with the poster’s F. In this case the most offensive part is how long it is. I’m actually surprised the NBA didn’t have the juice or wherewithal to veto this. The Patriot’s Lisa Olson scandal happened just six years earlier.)
Keyword(s) – wisdom
Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.7 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.6 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.7 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.7 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.7 The Grudge 2 (2006)
BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Marmaduke (2010), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), … (and many more)
Best Options (Whoopi Goldberg): 62.3 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 50.8 Racing Stripes (2005), 45.5 Eddie
(This is … fake? Weird. Basically, Eddie definitely was nominated for a Kids’ Choice. I suppose either because it was for her as an actress (instead of for the movie?). Hard to tell really. It should be there. I’ll add it. But yeah, it is because I only counted movies nominated, not people, in the cycle at this point.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Richard Jenkins is No. 4 billed in Eddie and No. 5 billed in Say It Isn’t So, which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (4 + 5) + (1 + 2) = 12. If we were to watch Corrina, Corrina we can get the HoE Number down to 10.
Notes – The New York Knicks home games were filmed at the Charlotte Coliseum, home of the Charlotte Hornets. Only exteriors of Madison Square Garden were featured. For the final game, Hornets fans were told to cheer against the Hornets.
Many of the players and coaches portrayed in the movie were associated with actual teams: Dennis Rodman, who appears in this movie with the San Antonio Spurs, was already on the Chicago Bulls at the time of the movies release; Mark Jackson, who portrays one of the Knicks players “Taylor,” was actually drafted and played for the Knicks in the late 1980s and early 1990s; Larry Johnson, the Knicks’ biggest rival in the movie, actually went on to play for the Knicks one year after the movie was released; 3 actual New York Knicks during the time of filming had a cameo in the playground pickup scene…. John Starks, Anthony Mason, and Herb Williams all appeared during the pickup scene in the playground; and Kurt Rambis, who who would go on to coach the New York Knicks from 2014 to 2018, portrays the Lakers’ head coach in the film. Rambis would actually go on the coach the Lakers on an interim basis in 1999, but was only an assistant coach at the time of filming.
While the New York Knicks have been considered one of the worst teams in the NBA at various points in time, they were actually considered to be one of the best during the 1995-1996 season, which was when Eddie (1996) was first released into theaters. Although the movie portrayed them to be the worst, the real life Knicks had just appeared in the NBA Finals 2 years prior to the films release in 1994, losing to the Houston Rockets. As of 2023, the Knicks have not made it to the NBA Finals since 1999, and have not won since 1973.
The Cleveland Cavaliers’ uniforms were the only visiting teams’ uniforms that did not accurately match those of their true-to-life uniforms.
Both Richard Jenkins, who plays assistant coach Carl Zimmer, and Frank Langella, who plays Wild Bill Burgess, would both go on to be nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role in 2008.
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Whoopi Goldberg)
Bad Movie Twins 