September 1st, 1994
Jamie and Patrick are looking radical. Hat? Backwards. Jeans? Also backwards. Arms? Crossed. Their summer had been spent consuming the weekly ‘zine Funky Fresh Horses that was just catching fire and they were saving their nickels and dimes to buy a horse. Their dad had one word of advice for them as they navigate this crazy thing we call life: “You better give up that bad movie thing if you want to save enough money for a horse.” With that he swept his arm in the general direction of the local stables and called it ‘nature’s movie.’ Despite this being wrong (Nature’s movie is a babbling brook) they venture forth and soon find themselves perusing the horses for sale. Suddenly their eyes alight on a beautiful steed. He’s everything that a couple funky fresh dudez could want in a horse. But just as they approach the stables they are pushed to the ground. “This horse isn’t for little babies,” some older kids say and begin to laugh at them. After they leave, Patrick sits ruminating in his devastation. Jamie paces about, rending his garments in despair. At that moment of true sorrow they suddenly hear a quiet voice. “Don’t worry,” it says, “I know exactly what to do.” They look around in confusion. They are the only ones here other than a single horse staring at them from the furthest stall. As they approach they read the name on the door, ‘Don.’ Jamie and Patrick hesitate. “We have to consider our past bad experiences with talking horses,” Patrick says quietly. “Right, and we can’t forget the Not Foolz Rule,” Jamie says, pulling out a very cool phrase he coined, “Don’t do what foolz do.” With that their eyes glaze over and they enter a patented Twin Memory. That’s right! We are watching Fools Rush In, the Matthew Perry vehicle that will have you asking the question: wait, is this the one where he pretends to be gay? Let’s go!
Fools Rush In (1997) – BMeTric: 28.1; Notability: 32
StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 20.4%; Notability: top 26.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 34.9%; Higher BMeT: Batman & Robin, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Home Alone 3, Steel, Mr. Magoo, Double Team, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Chairman of the Board, Spawn, Flubber, An American Werewolf in Paris, Turbulence, Fire Down Below, Jungle 2 Jungle, Gone Fishin’, McHale’s Navy, The Pest, Kull the Conqueror, Plump Fiction, and 31 more; Higher Notability: Batman & Robin, The Saint, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Jackal, Dante’s Peak, The Postman, Flubber, Spawn, The Man Who Knew Too Little, The Relic, Fathers’ Day, The Devil’s Own, Red Corner, Meet Wally Sparks, Kiss the Girls, Event Horizon, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Fire Down Below, Mad City, Steel, and 46 more; Lower RT: Plump Fiction, Fall, The Blackout, The Peacekeeper, McHale’s Navy, Shadow Conspiracy, Gone Fishin’, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Pest, ‘Til There Was You, An American Werewolf in Paris, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Dangerous Ground, The Postman, Mr. Magoo, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Keys to Tulsa, Double Team, Chairman of the Board, and 61 more; Notes: Amazingly, Fools Rush In was basically the biggest “tv film” around if you look through the list here. Batman & Robin played 56 times in the two or so years left in the 90s, Speed 2 played 64 times, but pretty much all the rest pale in comparison to Fools Rush In coming in at 51. Pretty impressive. Our friend this week is Deadly Outbreak with Jeff Speakman which played primetime (and I’m not joking) on the Saturday after Thanksgiving on Cinemax. Really trying to goose those DVD sales huh boys!
RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – In actual fact, of course, angels rush in where fools fear to tread. And that’s what happens to Alex Whitman, a fairly unexciting builder of nightclubs, when Isabel Fuentes comes into his life. Alex comes from Manhattan, where he leads the kind of WASP life that requires Jill Clayburgh as his mother. He’s in Las Vegas to supervise the construction of a new club, when he crosses paths with Isabel, a Mexican-American camera girl at Caesars, who believes in fate: “There is a reason behind all logic to bring us the exact same time and place.” The reason, which may be the oldest one in the world, leads them to the same bed for a one-night stand, which both insist they “never” do. But then Isabel disappears for three months, returning unexpectedly one day for a visit during which she asks for saltines (always an ominous sign) before telling Alex she is pregnant.
(I love it. I genuinely love when Ebert takes a film like this where it is just very confusing as to why exactly everyone is shitting on it and is like “huh … seems pretty good to me.” He’s right by the way, pretty heartfelt film about an unlikely couple just trying to make their way.)
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLKa24D1KUk/
(Besides the pretty in your face racism undertones, the film seems charming. I’d put peak Selma Hayak against any other actress in the history of cinema. It is absurd how attractive she is. And oddly? Matthew Perry doesn’t feel like he’s entirely out of his league. Is that weird?)
Directors – Andy Tennant – ( Known For: Ever After: A Cinderella Story; Hitch; The Secret: Dare to Dream; Anna and the King; Wild Oats; Future BMT: It Takes Two; BMT: Sweet Home Alabama; Fools Rush In; Fool’s Gold; The Bounty Hunter; Notes: Nominated for two Emmy for The Kominsky Method which he produced and directed a bit on. That seems to be his most recent work for the most part.)
Writers – Joan Taylor – ( BMT: Fools Rush In; Notes: Huh. She was an actress, but she retired from acting in the 60s. I think she might have written specs for a while because she has a few credited novels, so I imagine they dusted this bad boy off well after it was written and she got a story credit.)
Katherine Reback – ( BMT: Fools Rush In; Notes: Incredibly her only credit. At all. What an odd pair. It makes me wonder how this film was even made. I bet there are a million non-credited writers in the end.)
Actors – Matthew Perry – ( Known For: 17 Again; The Whole Nine Yards; The Kid; Numb; Birds of America; Getting In; Future BMT: She’s Out of Control; Almost Heroes; A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon; Three to Tango; BMT: Fools Rush In; The Whole Ten Yards; Serving Sara; Notes: He claims that this is the film where his pain killer addiction began which on-and-off derailed his acting career quite publicly. Either he was just doing it for fun or there is a scene involving jet skis where he got injured.)
Salma Hayek – ( Known For: The Faculty; From Dusk Till Dawn; Puss in Boots: The Last Wish; Eternals; Sausage Party; Traffic; House of Gucci; Dogma; Here Comes the Boom; Magic Mike’s Last Dance; Desperado; Savages; The Hitman’s Bodyguard; Frida; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Puss in Boots; Four Rooms; Tale of Tales; Once Upon a Time in Mexico; Across the Universe; Future BMT: After the Sunset; 54; Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant; Like a Boss; How to Be a Latin Lover; Fled; BMT: Grown Ups; Grown Ups 2; Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Wild Wild West; Fools Rush In; Fair Game; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Midaq Alley. Married to the son of French billionaire Francois Pinault who is the CEO of Kering.)
Jon Tenney – ( Known For: Tombstone; I See You; The Phantom; Wild Mountain Thyme; Rabbit Hole; You Can Count on Me; Nixon; Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home; Buying the Cow; Lassie; The Seagull; Homegrown; Guilty by Suspicion; Music from Another Room; As Cool as I Am; Hide Away; The Twilight of the Golds; Lovelife; Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World; Entropy; Future BMT: Legion; The Best of Me; The Stepfather; Love the Coopers; BMT: Green Lantern; Beverly Hills Cop III; Fools Rush In; Notes: Mostly a television actor, he is notably in the new Sex and the City show. I think even more notably he was a regular on The Closer with Kyra Sedgwick appearing in over 100 episodes. That’s what they call me at work. Kyra Sedgwick. Because I close.)
Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $29,481,428 (Worldwide: $29,481,428)
(That’s not half bad, but also not whole good. It was a wild time there where Matthew Perry was a decent romantic comedy leading man.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 34% (11/32): Only Fools Rush In to see a basic romantic comedy where opposites try to attract and find an unlikely happy ending.
(Yeah, on paper it is a standard formula with a few modern updates. There must have been something about Perry because it is a bit inexplicable that critics hated such harmless stuff … right? Were we just way harsher back then?)
NYT Short Review: A wisecracking New York WASP and a feisty latina have a shotgun wedding following a one-night stand.
Poster – Foolz Crush In
(Someone here was having fun with what was otherwise a very bad and forgettable poster (look at that font. Gross). Look at that tiny NYC with those tiny twin towers. And look at the two cacti to the left of those. Clever girl. D+)
Tagline(s) – What if finding the love of your life meant changing the life that you loved? (C-)
(I know you meant well and were on the right track, but I didn’t finish reading that because it’s like a Charles Dickens novel. Are you being paid by the word? Can’t even fit on the poster in legible font.)
Keyword(s) – daddio
Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), The Godfather (1972), Scarface (1983), 12 Angry Men (1957), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Back to the Future Part II (1989), Dead Poets Society (1989), Citizen Kane (1941), The Game (1997), Dumb and Dumber (1994)
Future BMT: 79.0 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 58.9 Jury Duty (1995), 57.4 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.1 Ghost Dad (1990), 50.8 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.5 Sleepwalkers (1992), 49.3 My Girl 2 (1994), 46.4 Daddy Day Care (2003), 44.6 Man of the House (1995), 41.6 My Baby’s Daddy (2004), 41.6 Speed Zone (1989), 41.3 Club Paradise (1986), 38.9 Fled (1996), 38.3 My Father the Hero (1994), 38.0 Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), 36.9 Desperate Hours (1990), 35.9 Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984), 35.8 I Got the Hook Up (1998), 34.3 Spring Break (1983), 34.1 Father Hood (1993)
BMT: Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Cool as Ice (1991), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Poltergeist III (1988), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Fire Birds (1990), Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989), Virtuosity (1995), Double Impact (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Iron Eagle (1986), Rambo III (1988), High School High (1996), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Clifford (1994), Man Trouble (1992), Leviathan (1989), Universal Soldier (1992), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), The Postman (1997), Fools Rush In (1997), Eraser (1996), Hackers (1995), Rising Sun (1993), Magic in the Water (1995), Lock Up (1989), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Best Options (Romance): 38.3 My Father the Hero (1994), 34.3 Spring Break (1983), 32.2 It Takes Two (1995), 28.1 Fools Rush In (1997), 22.7 Moonlight and Valentino (1995), 20.1 Art School Confidential (2006), 18.3 The Art of Getting By (2011), 16.7 Mr. Destiny (1990)
(My God, My Father the Hero is going to be a wild one eventually. I remember seeing it in pieces on television way back, and fat Gerard Depardieu shambling about with very young women around him is harrowing to say the least. Glad we didn’t do that one. This is the main genuine option in my opinion if you wanted one that played on a birthday.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Matthew Perry is No. 1 billed in Fools Rush In and No. 2 billed in The Whole Ten Yards, which also stars Bruce Willis (No. 1 billed) who is in Armageddon (No. 1 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 3 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 15. If we were to watch Like a Boss we can get the HoE Number down to 13.
Notes – The role of Alex’s (Matthew Perry) father is played by John Bennett Perry, who is actually Matthew Perry’s father.
Before the movie was filmed, there was no Arizona/Nevada “border” painted on the highway that spans the Hoover Dam. When it was added for the movie, local officials decided to keep it intact after the filming of the movie. As of September 2005 the border painted in the street is no longer there.
Jennifer Lopez was offered the role of Isabel Fuentes but turned it down in favor of Anaconda (1997).
John Bennett Perry (Alex’s father), Matthew Perry’s father, was in another of his son’s work. He played the father of Joshua, Rachel’s boyfriend, on FRIENDS. They would also play father and son in an episode of Scrubs.
Matthew Perry credits a jet ski accident on the set of this film as fuelling his addiction with prescription drugs
Bad Movie Twins 