Terminal Velocity Preview

“Just a teensy little wish, Patrick, before you watch your beloved Rich & Poe die when I send you back to the BMTverse… forever,” the piece of shit hack Manfred Long says with a smirk, fondling the Obsidian Dongle the cyborgs stole for him. “The power, it feels good,” he whispers to himself… or as if he’s in conversation with someone. Patrick scoffs, “you always did have to steal everything you got from me,” and staring daggers he approaches Manfred and tears his cable knit sweater asunder. Manfred gasps and shaking with furor points the Obsidian Dongle at Patrick. The power Manfred holds could destroy not only Patrick’s physical being, but erase his memory from existence, and yet he never even blinks. Manfred wrestles to regain control of himself. Patrick can see how much he desires making Patrick watch his creations die. “Fine,” he finally says, brow damp with sweat, “no wishes. So how about you grant me one final wish and perhaps we make it interesting. A write-off. One story. You make a better one and I spare your friends. I make a better one and you all are doomed to walk the wastelands of BMTverse forever.” Patrick smirks and immediately tears off his black jumpsuit to reveal a cable-knit sweater underneath. Manfred grits his teeth and Patrick shrugs, “I guess I just had an inkling things might be going this way,” and with that pulls his collapsible typewriter out of his previously unmentioned stylish and useful fanny pack. “Subject?” Patrick asks, adjusting his glasses and Manfred thinks for a second. He begins to speak and Patrick can tell he wants to say Swamp Monster Romance, his genre of choice, but pauses… originality is the word of the day, “how about something rad… something x-treme.” Patrick nods. That’s right! We’re getting super rad AND x-treme with Terminal Velocity starring Charlie Sheen. Not to be confused with Drop Zone, the other 1994 skydiving thriller, which, alas, does not qualify for BMT. To be honest, when we chose this I kinda thought we were going to watch Drop Zone. Oops. Let’s go!

Jamie, Kyle, and Lindsey jump onto Rachel’s hang glider and turn laughing at the big, dumbo cyborgs. Their laughter dies as they see rocket packs and metal wings extend from the cyborg’s bodies. Gulp. “Woooah! Those cyborgs are crackerjack,” Kyle exclaims, using very cool lingo of the day. That’s right! We are watching Crackerjack as the friend. It’s basically Die Hard at a mountain resort… really most of our friends are Die Hard. Let’s go!

Terminal Velocity (1994) – BMeTric: 39.4; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 14.4%; Notability: top 16.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.6%; Higher BMeT: Street Fighter, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Junior, The Next Karate Kid, Double Dragon, The Flintstones, It’s Pat: The Movie, On Deadly Ground, North, Leprechaun 2, 3 Ninjas Kick Back, The Fantastic Four, Exit to Eden, Color of Night, Ri¢hie Ri¢h, Car 54, Where Are You?, In the Army Now, Getting Even with Dad, Blank Cheque, and 16 more; Higher Notability: The Flintstones, The Shadow, Beverly Hills Cop III, Love Affair, Prêt-à-Porter, North, Frankenstein, I Love Trouble, Radioland Murders, The Pagemaster, Exit to Eden, Little Giants, D2: The Mighty Ducks, Street Fighter, Junior, Thumbelina, Speechless, The Specialist, Major League II, Blue Chips, and 22 more; Lower RT: Wagons East, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, House Party 3, It’s Pat: The Movie, Death Wish 5: The Face of Death, A Low Down Dirty Shame, Car 54, Where Are You?, The Silence of the Hams, Holy Matrimony, Erotique, Getting Even with Dad, Major League II, Trapped in Paradise, Exit to Eden, Lightning Jack, In the Army Now, Leprechaun 2, The Specialist, The Next Karate Kid, Trial by Jury, and 25 more; Notes: 1994 must have been a bomb year for bad movies. Over 20 films with <10% on Rotten Tomatoes! Not all of them will qualify, but still, that is just excellent stuff for the top 250 films on IMDb for the year.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – You’ve gotta hand it to “Terminal Velocity:” This movie may be dumb as a box of shredded wheat, but it has the damnedest action sequence I’ve seen since Arnold Schwarzenegger blasted the bad guy with the missile in “True Lies.” Nastassja Kinski is locked in the trunk of a red Cadillac, which is taken aboard a cargo plane. Charlie Sheen pursues in another plane, walks on its wing, hauls himself aboard the cargo plane, and then finds himself, Kinski and the Cadillac all falling through the air – with a villain on the hood shooting at him. This is an assignment for Houdini.

(I really like this review. A fun mix of “it is good for what it is” and “also BTW just in case I wasn’t clear, it is also garbage. Just good for being garbage.” Watching the trailer I honestly have no idea how Charlie Sheen ended up being a comedy-action star. It seems really weird seeing him be not-very-good at acting.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMzjb5OeYng/

(“What happened to 3?!” Oooooooooof, that is a bad line. So is “pack the bags, we’re going on a guilt trip.” 1994 must have been the heyday of the WTF script readings. We used to get them in BMT all the time, and haven’t for a while. This is going to bring that back. I can tell.)

DirectorsDeran Sarafian – (Known For: Alien Predator; To Die For; Roadflower; Interzone; Back in the U.S.S.R.; Future BMT: Death Warrant; Gunmen; BMT: Terminal Velocity; Notes: Interesting career. Went from a director of features, to a long time director of television, and now is a producer for television including getting two Emmy nominations as a producer of House M.D.)

WritersDavid Twohy – (Known For: The Fugitive; Waterworld; Riddick; G.I. Jane; Pitch Black; A Perfect Getaway; The Arrival; Below; Warlock; Timescape; The Second Arrival; Future BMT: The Chronicles of Riddick; Impostor; Warlock: The Armageddon; BMT: Terminal Velocity; Critters 2; Notes: He has genuinely written a ton of the Riddick stuff, including being attached as a writer on the upcoming show Merc City.)

ActorsCharlie Sheen – (Known For: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; Platoon; Major League; Wall Street; Young Guns; Being John Malkovich; Red Dawn; Badlands; The Wraith; Hot Shots!; Hot Shots! Part Deux; Grizzly II: The Concert; Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; 9/11; The Arrival; Lucas; Catchfire; Foodfight!; Eight Men Out; Mad Families; Future BMT: The Three Musketeers; Scary Movie 3; Due Date; Scary Movie 4; Machete Kills; The Rookie; Men at Work; Major League II; Loaded Weapon 1; Madea’s Witness Protection; Navy Seals; Money Talks; Shadow Conspiracy; All Dogs Go to Heaven 2: Charlie’s New Adventure; BMT: Scary Movie 5; Terminal Velocity; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screen Combo for Scary Movie 5 in 2014; Notes: The son of Martin Sheen and brother of Emilio Estevez. He’s had a crazy life we don’t have to get into, but it involves drugs and he seemed like he has gone through some seriously hard times over the years. Was nominated for four Emmys for Two and a Half Men.)

Nastassja Kinski – (Known For: Paris, Texas; Cat People; Inland Empire; One from the Heart; Tess; Stay as You Are; Playing by Heart; The Hotel New Hampshire; Faraway, So Close!; To the Devil a Daughter; An American Rhapsody; Revolution; Maria’s Lovers; One Night Stand; Savior; The Claim; Wrong Move; Cold Heart; Your Friends & Neighbors; Il sole anche di notte; Future BMT: Fathers’ Day; Unfaithfully Yours; BMT: Terminal Velocity; Town & Country; Notes: The daughter of Klaus Kinski obviously. Had a child with Quincy Jones in 1993 and has two others including Sonja Jones who appears to act a bit.)

James Gandolfini – (Known For: Zero Dark Thirty; True Romance; The Last Boy Scout; Fallen; Killing Them Softly; Crimson Tide; The Drop; The Last Castle; Get Shorty; Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil; The Taking of Pelham 123; Enough Said; Where the Wild Things Are; Romance & Cigarettes; The Man Who Wasn’t There; The Mexican; In the Loop; Not Fade Away; Welcome to the Rileys; Dance with the Devil; Future BMT: 8MM; The Incredible Burt Wonderstone; All the King’s Men; The Juror; Surviving Christmas; Close to Eden; BMT: Terminal Velocity; Notes: Died in 2013. His son is playing his character in the Sopranos prequel film The Many Saints of Newark.)

Budget/Gross – $50,000,000 / Domestic: $16,487,349 (Worldwide: $16,487,349)

(That is a pretty brutal return. The notes seem to suggest the film went over budget by a huge degree, so maybe they were planning on a svelte $25 million film or something, but no matter how you cut it that isn’t what you want for you action film in 1994.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (5/26): More of a string of formulaic set pieces than an actual action thriller, Terminal Velocity ends up going nowhere fast.

(That’s all I really want I think. Some of the good reviews seem to claim it wins the “skydiving” war of 1994. The other would appear to be Drop Zone, and the critics evidently disagree, that has a 41% on Rotten Tomatoes and doesn’t qualify.)

Reviewer Highlight: Some of the comic writing undercuts the preposterous story. – Gene Siskel, Chicago Tribune

Poster – Terminal Sklogocity

(I LOVE THIS. My god. Sometimes the worst, most forgotten films have the best looking posters. I’d buy this for my house, have my wife tell me “hell no,” and put it into storage… that’s how much I love this. A++)

Tagline(s) – It is not the fall that kills you (C-)

(I think I understand what they are going for (parachuting is the safe part of the film, right?), but these words really don’t make much sense together. Sometimes I have to stop thinking too hard about a tagline because my head starts hurting.)

Keyword(s) – kgb

Top 10: Munich (2005), Anna (2019), The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015), Bridge of Spies (2015), The Terminal (2004), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008), Atomic Blonde (2017), Gorky Park (1983), Eastern Promises (2007), The Good Shepherd (2006)

Future BMT: 50.4 Spy Hard (1996), 30.9 Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986), 29.6 Firefox (1982), 28.8 The Sentinel (2006), 24.1 A View to a Kill (1985), 21.5 The Jackal (1997), 20.4 Spies Like Us (1985), 18.8 Gotcha! (1985), 16.2 Anna (2019), 10.9 Rocky IV (1985)

BMT: Terminal Velocity (1994)

Matches: Munich (2005), The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015), The Living Daylights (1987), Spy Hard (1996), Terminal Velocity (1994), Black Eagle (1988), Best Defence (1984), The Experts (1989), A Different Loyalty (2004), Scorpion (1986), Zits (1988), Dead Aim (1987), Keeping Track (1986), Comrades in Arms (1991), KGB: The Secret War (1985), A Lonely Place for Dying (2009), Scavengers (1988)

(A View to a Kill, Rocky IV, Gotcha!, and Spies Like Us all came out in 1985, wowza. I really like this plot, funny just how few films came out in the 90s with the KGB involved in any way, and then looking at the full matches sooooo many are from ‘85 to ‘90. Amazing this is the first, we have a lot of work to do on action/comedy films from the 80s it would seem.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Nastassja Kinski is No. 2 billed in Terminal Velocity and No. 6 billed in Town & Country, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 9 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 6) + (9 + 3) = 20. If we were to watch Surviving Christmas, and Pearl Harbor we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – The news anchor that reports on the arrest of Ditch Brodie in downtown Phoenix is Martha Vazquez. She was then and still is a news anchor at KVOA News 4, Tucson.

Although the movie didn’t do particularly well in the box office, Charlie Sheen says it was one of his favorite movies to make.

Many scenes were filmed at an airfield near Marana, Arizona. This field has been used for civilian skydiving, aircraft storage, military training, and CIA functions. Evergreen International Aviation, a sometimes CIA contractor based in McMinnville, Oregon, has had operations at this field.

Ditch drives a white 1970 Dodge Challenger, an homage to the iconic white 1970 Dodge Challenger in Vanishing Point (1971), which was directed by Richard C. Sarafian, the father of this movie’s director, Deran Sarafian.

The scene where the plane makes an emergency landing is taken from Air America (1990).

In making this movie, they used 23 Cadillac Allante automobiles, destroying nine completely.

Rambo: Last Blood Preview

“This how you got there?” the gangster squad says looking into the prison tunnel where Jamie and Patrick first got to the BMTverse and met Nic Cage, “didn’t peg you for a criminal.” Patrick just shrugs somberly. He can’t stop thinking about Sticks and Stones. A dangerous pair for him and Jamie together, let alone on their own. “Well we better get down there before they find us,” Patrick says, but the gangsters put a hand on his shoulder. “Woah there, big guy, you don’t think we’d let you go down there alone. Who knows who or what is waiting for you on the other side. We got you a guide. Someone who knows the terrain, someone who spent some time as a prisoner in the BMTverse. He’ll help you get down there and find you brother and if he don’t we’ll kill him,” they laugh as they grasp Patrick’s hand. “Thanks,” Patrick replies, realizing that these gangsters are his friends. Ever since he and Jamie made it big on the Rich and Poe series he had forgotten what it was like to have a friend and he smiles. Just then his guide emerges from the tunnel “You ready to go?” he growls and Patrick is stunned. “Woah! Sly? What are you doing in the BMTverse? You don’t belong there. You’re the best! The best!” But the man shakes his head. “No, the name’s Rambo. And I’ve spent my fair share of time in the BMTverse,” he says looking into the distance, “You better believe it.” As Patrick attempts once again to enter the tunnel he’s even more shocked to see three more Rambos emerge from the tunnel of varying ages. “You better believe it,” they all growl in unison. That’s right! The third BMT Live! Of the year is upon us and it’s an extra special Rambo extravaganza. We waited with bated breath for Rambo: Last Blood to officially qualify and once it did we realized that Rambo: FIrst Blood Part II, Rambo III, Rambo, and Rambo: Last Blood all qualify for BMT. Ohhhhhhhhh boy. Let’s go!

Rambo: Last Blood (2019) – BMeTric: 2.8 

(I don’t tend to post the graphs for films that literally came out. There won’t really be a fair assessment of this film for years to drown out the massive influx of Stallone-heads which are currently giving it 7/10 on IMDb. I would imagine it’ll settle in the mid-6 range though.)

RogerEbert.com – 1 star –  Pretty much a rip-off through and through (it clocks in at just under 90 minutes, at least 10 of those dedicated to an end credits sequence featuring highlights from all the previous films, including the one that just concluded), “Rambo: Last Blood” is junk from start to finish.

(Oooof. The guy is quite down on it. I didn’t want to spoil my experience, but basically hoped Rambo would get an appropriate send off in the sequel to 2008’s Rambo … and now he kind of hopes Stallone does another one to give it another shot.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPuhNtG47M0/

(Actually a really good trailer. Gives you just enough to tell that’ll you’ll get all the gore you want in a Home-Alone-esque final sequence, and suggests a bit you’ll get closure for the character. All of that makes sense.)

Directors – Adrian Grunberg – (Known For: How I Spent My Summer Vacation; BMT: Rambo: Last Blood; Notes: Mostly a second unit director for things like Apocalypto and Jack Reacher 2 … I’m starting to see a trend with these Rambo films where it is almost like Stallone himself might be directed them alongside the second unit directors he hires …)

Writers – Matthew Cirulnick (screenplay by) – (Known For: Paid in Full; BMT: Rambo: Last Blood; Notes: Wrote a few television shows prior to this. Now has two more in production including Run Away with Me which seems to have Amber Heard attached.)

Sylvester Stallone (screenplay by & story by) – (Known For: First Blood; Creed II; Rocky; Creed; Homefront; The Expendables; Rocky Balboa; The Expendables 2; Rocky III; Cliffhanger; Rocky II; The Lords of Flatbush; Paradise Alley; F.I.S.T; Future BMT: Staying Alive; Rocky V; Rocky IV; BMT: Driven; Rhinestone; Cobra; Over the Top; The Expendables 3; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rambo III; Rambo; Rambo: Last Blood; Notes: Has five children. We saw Sage in Daylight. Sistine is a model / actress.)

Dan Gordon (story by) – (Known For: Wyatt Earp; The Hurricane; Murder in the First; The Assignment; Future BMT: Surf Ninjas; Passenger 57; The Celestine Prophecy; Let There Be Light; Gotcha!; BMT: Rambo: Last Blood; Notes: Served as a captain in the Isreali Defence Force during their war with Lebanon.)

David Morrell (based on the character created by) – (Known For: First Blood; BMT: Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rambo III; Rambo; Rambo: Last Blood; Notes: While Rambo is by far his most famous series, he has a few others including the Abelard Sanction series.)

Actors – Sylvester Stallone – (Known For: First Blood; Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2; Creed II; Rocky; Creed; Escape Plan; The Expendables; Rocky Balboa; The Expendables 2; Rocky III; Cliffhanger; Cop Land; Rocky II; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Antz; Bullet to the Head; Death Race 2000; Nighthawks; Future BMT: Escape Plan II; Staying Alive; Rocky V; D-Tox; Escape Plan 3; The Specialist; An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn; Avenging Angelo; Backtrace; Ratchet & Clank; Collection; Assassins; Oscar; Rocky IV; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Zookeeper; Rhinestone; Get Carter; Judge Dredd; Cobra; Over the Top; Daylight; The Expendables 3; Tango & Cash; Grudge Match; Lock Up; Demolition Man; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rambo III; Rambo; Rambo: Last Blood; Notes: Was married to Brigitte Nielsen for two years.)

Sylvester Stallone Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director, and Worst Actor for Rocky IV in 1986; Winner for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actor for Rambo: First Blood Part II in 1986; Winner for Worst Actor in 1985 for Rhinestone; in 1989 for Rambo III; and in 1993 for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for Spy Kids 3: Game Over in 2004; Winner for Worst Screen Couple in 1995 for Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, and The Specialist; Winner for Worst Actor of the Decade in 1990; Nominee for Worst Director for The Expendables in 2011; Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 1985 for Rhinestone; in 1986 for Rocky IV; in 1987 for Cobra; in 1989 for Rambo III; in 1991 for Rocky V; in 1994 for Cliffhanger; and in 2002 for Driven; Nominee for Worst Actor in 1987 for Cobra; in 1988 for Over the Top; in 1990 for Lock Up, and Tango & Cash; in 1991 for Rocky V; in 1992 for Oscar; in 1995 for The Specialist; in 1996 for Assassins, and Judge Dredd; in 1997 for Daylight; in 2001 for Get Carter; and in 2014 for Bullet to the Head, Escape Plan, and Grudge Match; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for Driven in 2002; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn in 1999; 

Paz Vega – (Known For: Sex and Lucía; Kill the Messenger; Spanglish; Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted; Talk to Her; Acts of Vengeance; Los amantes pasajeros; Novo; 10 Items or Less; La vida inmoral de la pareja ideal; El otro lado de la cama; Angels of Evil; Sobreviviré; Future BMT: The Spirit; All Roads Lead to Rome; Grace of Monaco; Not Forgotten; Cat Run; Burning Palms; Fade to Black; BMT: Rambo: Last Blood; Notes: Born in Spain, her father was a bullfighter and her sister is a Flamenco dancer)

Yvette Monreal – (Known For: Lowriders; BMT: Rambo: Last Blood; Notes: Is going to feature in the upcoming DC television series Stargirl.)

Budget/Gross – < $50 million / N/A

(I think the expectation is for this to make $100 million. That is about what the fourth made and it was declared a success. I don’t really get that, the math doesn’t really make much sense to me, but perhaps it is because they go for a cheaper limited showtime run because of the gore or something? It is unclear. It might make it.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 31% (25/81): Like the sequels that preceded it, Rambo: Last Blood is content to indulge in bloody violence at the expense of its main character’s once-poignant story.

(Somehow this ended up being one of the worst reviewed of the entire series, which is pretty surprising considering how much people slam Rambo III online. Reviewer Highlight: “Rambo: Last Blood” features what’s easily the most violent movie scene of the year. It’s awesome. – Johnny Oleksinski, New York Post)

Poster – Poe: Last Sklog (B-)

rambo_v_ver3

(I like a little more color on my posters, but this does have a pop and the font is just barely unique. Got some artistic flair. Amazing that all the way through the series we get Stallone centric posters every time. Even when he’s like a million years old and is starting to look like a monster.)

Tagline(s) – N/A (F)

(I don’t see these taglines on the poster… which is generally how I judge which one to grade. So I’m gonna give this an F and leave it. I’m sure some taglines were used in trailers and stuff but who has the time?)

Keyword(s) – fifth part; Top Ten by BMeTric: 91.2 Scary Movie 5 (2013); 71.2 Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988); 69.1 Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013); 68.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015); 67.9 Seed of Chucky (2004); 61.6 Transformers: The Last Knight (2017); 59.9 A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989); 58.9 A Good Day to Die Hard (2013); 58.1 Rocky V (1990); 55.6 Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989);

(I mean … yeah, I’m going to watch all of these films for BMT at some point. Makes me think we need to do more series. These all seem like they would be super fun.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Rambo: Last Blood and No. 1 billed in Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 10. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – On December 6, 2018, Stallone stated that this would be the last “Rambo” film, saying that his character would “finally find what he assumes to be peace.” However, at Cannes 2019, Stallone stated that he would continue to play the character of John Rambo, should “Rambo: Last Blood” prove to be successful. (Noooooooo)

Stallone stated on his personal Instagram account : “Great day! We got our HARD R rating today! What’s coming is going to be unlike anything you have ever seen…” (Gross)

The plot to this movie was intended for Rambo (2008) but changed. It was also partially used for Homefront (2013) with Jason Statham. (Which, yeah, Stallone wrote)

The first Rambo movie that Sylvester Stallone doesn’t have long hair as in the previous films. (Good choice, although I kind of secretly wish in the fourth he had a glorious flowing mullet and everyone could be like “wow, old school” and he could be like “are these out of fashion or something? I’ve been living in Thailand for like two decades wrangling snakes by myself.”)

At 89 minutes, this is the shortest film in the ‘Rambo’ series. (Glory glory)