technology – Bad Movie Twins

Paranoia Preview

“I don’t think that’s what the phrase ‘An Eye for an Eye’ means,” Kyle chimes in. Patrick shakes his head ruefully at what a fool Kyle is. “It does in this case, Kyle,” he says smugly, an extremely smug smirk on his face. “Because he will give us the apple of our eye (the reboot of the century, Fresh Horses) in exchange for the irreplaceable eye of one of us for his other major motion picture he’s got in the pipeline.” Kyle assumes that Patrick must be referring to his own special eye for the art of mise-en-scène or Jamie’s perfect eye for 80’s style muscle montages. He’s shocked to find both Patrick and Jamie staring intently at him instead. “Who? Little ol’ me? I don’t think so. The only film I’d be any good at would be a sequel of…” he gasps. He doesn’t dare say what his heart and brain (and not, to be crude, but his loins) could hope for at this moment. He croaks something incomprehensible and Jamie and Patrick embrace him as he weeps like a small child. “It’s true, Kyle,” Patrick says tenderly. “Marty is making Mannequin 3: Movin’ and Groovin’. And he’s using your script.” Jamie nods along, having remembered that they had sent the script around town ages ago, but you know, these things can take a while. “He says he only put Fresh Horses ahead of it on his schedule because he heard you were busy with the Platonic Solids Series. I assume you want to do it?” Patrick asks and Kyle nods, still blubbering like a child. “So it’s settled, we’re directing Fresh Horses!” Jamie says gleefully. But another strange look has crossed Patrick’s face. “What is it?” Jamie asks. Patrick purses his lips. “It all just seems strangely… convenient.” That’s right! Patrick is getting a little paranoid and so are we as we watch Paranoia. Both Patrick and I have independently seen this film before. Why? Neither of us can remember. Good sign. Let’s go!

Paranoia (2013) – BMeTric: 44.2; Notability: 24

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.8%; Notability: top 3.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.5%; Higher BMeT: Scary Movie 5, Movie 43, The Starving Games, After Earth, Getaway, Texas Chainsaw 3D, A Good Day to Die Hard, A Haunted House, Tarzan, Grown Ups 2, The Smurfs 2, The Colony, The Counselor, The Green Inferno, Killing Season, R.I.P.D., The Last Days on Mars, Machete Kills, Runner Runner, The Big Wedding, and 2 more; Higher Notability: Movie 43, The Lone Ranger, Gangster Squad, Kick-Ass 2, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, A Good Day to Die Hard, Scary Movie 5, After Earth, Texas Chainsaw 3D; Lower RT: I Spit on Your Grave 2, The Starving Games, Getaway, Scary Movie 5, Movie 43, The Big Wedding; Notes: It is hard to tell because 2013 was one of those years where I was watching bad movies outside of BMT in a weird way. Like, I’ve seen Smurfs 2, but it isn’t BMT. Machete Kills I’ve seen, but I can’t remember if we did it officially. Texas Chainsaw 3D I think is the one we haven’t done for BMT, but it might have been. See, confusing. I think we’ve seen 11 of the top 20 BMeTs though. This gets closer than I would think.

RogerEbert.com – 1 star – The last time that Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman shared the screen together, the former was politely but firmly imploring the latter to get off of his plane in the somber 1997 docudrama “Air Force One.” Now, after all these years, the two have reunited for the slightly less plausible “Paranoia” and once again find themselves going down in flames, this time inadvertently. Here is a film that clearly wants to be a gripping techno-thriller but feels as if it was designed both by and for people who still have not quite figured out how to get their Kindles to work.

(Huge zinger, and also 100% correct. It is a completely braindead movie which can’t even figure out how to make Liam Hemsworth look like a nerd. It is a very weird film.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bdZWrW6HnA/

(That trailer is legit the entire movie. And yeah, can you tell it is super terrible.)

Directors – Robert Luketic – ( Known For: Legally Blonde; Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!; Titsiana Booberini; The Wedding Year; Future BMT: Monster-in-Law; The Ugly Truth; 21; BMT: Killers; Paranoia; Notes: Austrailian. Has kind of bounced around doing television since this film.)

Writers – Joseph Finder – ( Future BMT: High Crimes; BMT: Paranoia; Notes: Wrote the novel. High Crimes with Ashley Judd being another of his novels is amusing.)

Barry Levy – ( Known For: Wolves of Wall Street; The Brotherhood; Future BMT: Vantage Point; BMT: Paranoia; Notes: Also mostly just wrote television since. Has some television movie which claims is completed directed by a Mexican actress.)

Jason Hall – ( Known For: Thank You for Your Service; American Sniper; Gran Turismo; Spread; Spread; BMT: Paranoia; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for American Sniper. Honestly, an untitled Navy Seal project is the most interesting probably-fake upcoming project for this guy.)

Actors – Liam Hemsworth – ( Known For: Triangle; The Hunger Games; The Expendables 2; The Hunger Games: Catching Fire; Love and Honor; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1; Empire State; Lonely Planet; Land of Bad; Poker Face; Cut Bank; The Dressmaker; The Duel; Isn’t It Romantic; Killerman; Arkansas; F1; Future BMT: The Last Song; Knowing; BMT: Paranoia; Independence Day: Resurgence; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy … for a short form series called Most Dangerous Game? Oh I forgot he’s the new Witcher in what apparently is a terrible recent season of that show.)

Harrison Ford – ( Known For: Star Wars; Apocalypse Now; Blade Runner; Raiders of the Lost Ark; Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom; Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade; Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; The Empire Strikes Back; Return of the Jedi; Working Girl; Frantic; What Lies Beneath; The Fugitive; Presumed Innocent; The Mosquito Coast; Regarding Henry; Six Days Seven Nights; Sabrina; K-19: The Widowmaker; Witness; Future BMT: The Devil’s Own; Extraordinary Measures; Jimmy Hollywood; BMT: Hollywood Homicide; Random Hearts; Firewall; Paranoia; The Expendables 3; Notes: The quintessential old man Harrison Ford film. Notably only ever nominated for Witness. Look at that filmography though. Ridic.)

Gary Oldman – ( Known For: The Fifth Element; Léon: The Professional; The Dark Knight; Batman Begins; True Romance; Basquiat; Romeo Is Bleeding; Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; State of Grace; JFK; Jesus; Interstate 60; The Book of Eli; The Contender; Murder in the First; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2; Air Force One; The Backwoods; Future BMT: Hannibal; The Unborn; Criminal Law; Planet 51; Criminal; BMT: Lost in Space; The Scarlet Letter; Tiptoes; Red Riding Hood; Paranoia; The Space Between Us; Hunter Killer; Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar twice (Mank, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) and won once (Darkest Hour). He has a very fun career as indicated by the perfect mix of BMT and amazing non-BMT films. But then also just really fun films (Air Force One, The Fifth Element).)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $7,388,654 (Worldwide: $17,056,265)

(Huge disaster. But I guess just renting the cars and filming in some mansion on Long Island is going to bump that budget. Oh, and the two huge stars.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (8/105): Clichéd and unoriginal, Paranoia is a middling techno-thriller with indifferent performances and a shortage of thrills.

(Yeah this was chosen for being <10% on RT. And indeed, the performances are very middling.)

Reviewer Highlight: Fixates on the perils and panic of our modern surveillance culture while itself proving to be borderline unwatchable. – Nick Schager, Time Out

Poster – Pair, Annoying

(I like that little pun I put there even if it doesn’t make a lot of sense. A classically bad poster. It is in fact what I would call, and excuse the technical jargon, “very bad.” The only positive here is that it’s not doing too much. It’s very clean. D)

Tagline(s) – In a war between kings even a pawn can change the game. (C+)

(You know, I don’t think I like this. It’s actually more of a classic style tagline than I think I would have expected. Kind of long and telling you more of the story than you really need. At least it’s a metaphor, so not entirely boring. Trying something.)

Keyword(s) – imdb-keyword-based-on-novel;based-on-book

Top 10: Fight Club (1999), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Shutter Island (2010), Schindler’s List (1993), The Prestige (2006)

Future BMT: 74.9 The Turning (2020), 72.6 Zoom (2006), 70.3 London Fields (2018), 69.6 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 67.3 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 66.3 102 Dalmatians (2000), 65.5 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 64.3 Valentine (2001), 59.5 The Big Bounce (2004), 58.1 Best Defense (1984), 58.0 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 55.5 Hanging Up (2000), 55.4 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 55.2 Snow Dogs (2002), 54.3 The Divorce (2003), 53.9 Abandon (2002), 53.4 The Stepford Wives (2004), 52.5 Addicted (2014), 50.8 Freedomland (2006), 50.1 Kull: The Conqueror (1997)

BMT: Battlefield Earth (2000), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Cats (2019), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Jaws 3-D (1983), One Missed Call (2008), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Bye Bye Man (2017), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Striptease (1996), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), Firestarter (2022), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Tarot (2024), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), The Haunting (1999), Fair Game (1995), Eragon (2006), After We Fell (2021), North (1994), Monkeybone (2001), The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999), Conan the Barbarian (2011), Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), An American Haunting (2005), The Snowman (2017), The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007), Sliver (1993), Pinocchio (2002), The Musketeer (2001), After Ever Happy (2022), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Get Carter (2000), Exit to Eden (1994), After (2019), Alex Cross (2012), Queen of the Damned (2002), Congo (1995), …

Best Options (rt <10): 72.6 Zoom (2006), 70.3 London Fields (2018), 58.1 Best Defense (1984), 55.4 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 52.5 Addicted (2014), 50.0 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.5 Blood and Chocolate (2007), 46.0 Surviving Christmas (2004), 44.2 Paranoia (2013), 38.9 When Time Ran Out… (1980), 38.9 Intersection (1994), 34.9 Hero and the Terror (1988), 33.4 The Awakening (1980), 27.7 The Lonely Lady (1983), 25.1 King David (1985), 21.9 Wired (1989), 16.2 Worth Winning (1989), 13.6 That Was Then… This Is Now (1985)

(So many, but a lot are kind of borderline in reality. You should see the Now a Major Motion Picture for this thing. It is glorious.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Harrison Ford is No. 2 billed in Paranoia and No. 1 billed in Hollywood Homicide, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.

The Circle Preview

With his cadre of Rambos leading the way, Patrick enters the BMTverse. He breathes in the dull, uninspiring air and a part of him knows it’s home. The old rickety Rambo crouches down, his knees giving off loud popping noises, and tastes the earth. “Your brother, he’s been here.” The young spry Rambo with the sad eyes tastes a different spot, “another was with him. The man in black.” At that the older garbage Rabmo hisses, “Vampiro.” Patrick steps forward, “Which way did they head?!” At that the youngest of the Rambos replies bluntly, “No.” But Patrick pleads “I need to get to him before it’s too late. Please!” The Rambos nod, “OK.” At that they head off. From the few monosyllabic statements the Rambos make Patrick is able to glean that Vampiro is a Dracula who has been sucking the BMTverse dry in some mysterious scheme and that Jamie is in grave danger. “So what is the scheme Vampiro has set up?” Patrick asks, and immediately the Rambos point to a large building dominating the skyline of New Angeles. The sign reads, “The Square.” Patrick doesn’t want to say anything but to him The Square looks pretty hip. That’s right! We’re watching the 2017 classic The Circle starring Emma Watson and Tom Hanks about a big ol’ company that totally spies on you. Sound the Ointment Alarm, cause this movie is topical. Let’s go!

Meanwhile, the man in black backflips from his skateboard and and grabs Jamie by the throat. He squints at him, “You really don’t remember me, do you?” Jamie looks closer and notices the sharp Dracula teeth of the Dracula that turned him into a Dracula at Dracula School a year ago. “Vampiro,” he wheezes. “Let him be, baby,” a young sexy voice says from behind Vampiro and four beautiful bodacious beach bunnies come out from the steam. “Sticks and Stone will not be happy if you kill him, Vampiro,” the sexiest of them coos. “Call me Buford, baby,” He replies. That’s right! We’re going for the only Jim Hanks vehicle in history, Buford’s Beach Bunnies. Tom Hanks’ bro plays the titular Buford being titillated by the titular Beach Bunnies. It should be a hoot and in no way sad probably. Let’s go!

The Circle (2017) – BMeTric: 56.8

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(Ooooooo for a film like this low-5s is incredibly incredibly low, that is promising. And very consistent across the years as well. Interesting.)

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – When the story turns into something akin to a nightmarish cousin of “The Truman Show” or “Network,” or the kid sister of Cronenbeg’s “ExistenZ,” you want it to get bigger, wilder, more outrageous, more frightening, and it’s too nice and reasonable and conscientious to do that. The result feels undernourished in just about every way, although Hanks’s performance, John Boyega’s brief role as a founding programmer, and a couple of frightening action sequences break through the tedium.

(Yeah I would have expected it to go very broad in the end … it is pretty concerning that it doesn’t. Like what is this movie about then?)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUlr8Am4zQ0/

(Watching that trailer and I’m thinking Firewall starring Harrison Ford. Reading the review above it … and I’m getting whiffs of The Space Between Us. Which is concerning because that movie was boring.)

Directors – James Ponsoldt – (Known For: The Spectacular Now; The End of the Tour; Smashed; Off the Black; BMT: The Circle; Notes: Went to Yale, and then got a Masters in Fine Arts from Columbia.)

Writers – James Ponsoldt (screenplay by) – (Known For: Smashed; Off the Black; BMT: The Circle; Notes: Is writing and directing a film about “wild animals in Los Angeles” called Wild City.)

Dave Eggers (screenplay by & based on the novel by) – (Known For: Where the Wild Things Are; A Hologram for the King; Promised Land; Away We Go; BMT: The Circle; Notes: Actually an amazing story concerning his parents both dying when he was a young man, and he dropped out of school to raise his youngest brother who was 8 at the time. It became the subject of his fictionalized memoir, the acclaimed A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.)

Actors – Emma Watson – (Known For: Beauty and the Beast; Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; The Perks of Being a Wallflower; This Is the End; Noah; My Week with Marilyn; The Bling Ring; The Tale of Despereaux; Future BMT: Regression; BMT: The Circle; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress for The Circle in 2018; Notes: She’s going to be in Little Woman later this year, obviously most famous for her roles in the Harry Potter films where she played Hermoine.)

Tom Hanks – (Known For: Toy Story 4; A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood; Forrest Gump; The Green Mile; Saving Private Ryan; Catch Me If You Can; Toy Story; Toy Story 3; Cloud Atlas; Sleepless in Seattle; Cast Away; Cars; Road to Perdition; Toy Story 2; Sully: Miracle on the Hudson; The Post; Apollo 13; Bridge of Spies; Saving Mr. Banks; Big; Future BMT: He Knows You’re Alone; Larry Crowne; Inferno; Ithaca; The Da Vinci Code; Angels & Demons; BMT: The Circle; The Bonfire of the Vanities; Notes: Ya’ll know Tom Hanks! He’s getting Oscar buzz for his role as Mr. Rogers in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.)

John Boyega – (Known For: Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi; Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens; Pacific Rim: Uprising; Detroit; Attack the Block; Half of a Yellow Sun; Imperial Dreams; Junkhearts; BMT: The Circle; Notes: British. You can hear his natural sccent in Attack the Block.)

Budget/Gross – $18 million / Domestic: $20,497,844 (Worldwide: $20,497,844)

(Hmmmm, given the budget that isn’t actually that bad I suppose, but it is a box office disappointment. Their Netflix distribution may have made a bit more of that back since. I’m a little surprised it could be made for so little.)

#55 for the Young-Adult Book Adaptations genre

thecircle2017_yaadaptations

(Our 8th BMT film of this genre. Came right as these types of films stopped making money. Weirdly, not even close to the worst box office we’ve seen beating out The Darkest Minds, Midnight Sun, The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising, and Vampire Academy)

#52 on the Worst Openings – Super Saturated chart

Rotten Tomatoes – 15% (20/135): The Circle assembles an impressive cast, but this digitally driven thriller spins aimlessly in its half-hearted exploration of timely themes.

(Yeah that sounds about right. Float through something significant, but straddle the fence and make it as milquetoast as possible. This is indeed what I expect. Reviewer Highlight: The Circle is a big honking sloppy mess of a movie, one that flops around so aimlessly that it’s baffling so many intelligent people had a hand in making it. – Will Leitch, The New Republic)

Poster – Corporate Sklog-vallience (C+)

circle_ver2

(It’s artsy in the framing and the color is fine. Font makes me sad. At least make the C in Circle be the company’s logo. Not just block bullshit.)

Tagline(s) – Knowing is good. Knowing everything is better. (A-)

(Do you know what’s better than a billion dollars? A gazillion dollars. While I don’t support the message of the tagline I can still recognize that it’s a good tagline.)

Keyword(s) – video surveillance; Top Ten by BMeTric: 82.3 Halloween: Resurrection (2002); 79.5 The Devil Inside (2012); 67.8 College Road Trip (2008); 65.7 Captivity (2007); 65.5 Pulse (I) (2006); 60.4 Maid in Manhattan (2002); 60.2 Sliver (1993); 56.8 The Circle (I) (2017); 52.5 Everly (2014); 52.2 Bangkok Dangerous (2008);

(This is a pretty interesting keyword. Like is that really what Halloween: Resurrection has? College Road Trip? This seems to be one of the rare ones where it is a central theme to the film.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tom Hanks is No. 2 billed in The Circle and No. 1 billed in Bonfire of the Vanities, which also stars Bruce Willis (No. 2 billed) who is in The Whole Ten Yards (No. 1 billed), which also stars Natasha Henstridge (No. 4 billed) who is in Ghosts of Mars (No. 1 billed), which also stars Jason Statham (No. 3 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 2 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 20. If we were to watch Angels & Demons, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – Bill Paxton died before the film’s release. Glenne Headly, who played his wife in the film, died the same year after the film’s release. (What? I knew Pacton died, but I didn’t realize Glenne Headly died.)

Re-shoots took place four months before release, aimed at making Emma Watson’s character more appealing, but test audience reactions were even worse than previous test screenings. (Jesus THAT was their attempt at making her MORE appealing? She’s insane in the movie)

The scene where Annie video calls Mae was shot by Karen Gillan’s crew while they were filming Gillan’s feature film; The Party’s Just Beginning (2018) in Scotland. (Wow that is interesting)

In the U.K. this film did not get a cinema release but went straight to streaming service Netflix. (Yeah I noticed)

The logo of The Circle was created before the Uber redesign, despite them looking very similar.

The lead role of Mae was first offered to Alicia Vikander, which according to her, was one of three roles offered simultaneously, alongside the roles of Maria in Assassin’s Creed (2016) and Heather in Jason Bourne (2016). Due to fan factor, she opted to do Bourne, thus the producers moving on to casting second choice Emma Watson.

Received a “D+” CinemaScore, which is quite rare. [Variety 2017] (Not surprised)

This is the second time that Tom Hanks has a role in an adaptation of a novel by Dave Eggers. The first was A Hologram for the King (2016). (Never heard of it)

The auditorium scenes were filmed at Citrus Community College’s Haugh Performing Arts Center in Glendora, California.

Opening bridge shot is Dumbarton Bridge in Northern California near Silicon Valley. Fake image of the Circle building located on the Coyote Point recreation park.

The ending was changed significantly for the film adaptation. In the novel, Mae, fully believing in The Circle’s goals and mantras, betrays Ty in his attempt to bring down the company and he is effectively silenced. (WHAT?! THAT IS CRAZY)

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Emma Watson, 2018)