Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) Preview

“These mashed potatoes are delicious, Mom… er… I mean, Young Jamie and Patrick’s Mom,” Jamie says enthusiastically, mashed potatoes falling from his mouth. Having dined with their younger selves, Patrick and Jamie are counting the minutes until their next unexpected obstacle presents itself. A serial killer? Perhaps a pumpkinhead or a phantom of the opera? Hopefully not a lawnmower man, the scariest of all the spooky Halloween fiends. They jump at the sound of a knock at the door. “That must be Mikey,” Young Jamie says with glee and rushes from the table. Before they can stop him, he opens the door and… phew, Jamie and Patrick stop themselves just in time, inches from cracking an innocent child with a mean Twin Chop (patent pending). The kid looks like a total nerd alert in his clown costume and to think, they were worried about little Mikey from around the block. Mikey seems nervous. “You guys invited me over?” he asks tentatively, “but I’m sure it was just a mistake,” he finishes quietly. Young Jamie and Patrick look back at their older selves and shake their heads. “No it wasn’t a mistake,” says Jamie. Patrick agrees, “It’s just that we’ve realized that we’ve been a couple of big ol’ lame-o jerks.” They clap Mikey on the shoulder and ask if he wants to go trick-or-treating with them tonight. Jamie and Patrick’s hearts melt. Turns out there was nothing to worry about after all, just a heartwarming story of friendship. Mikey beams, but then looks nervous again. “I don’t think I can,” he says sadly. Sensing something off, Jamie and Patrick ask what’s wrong and remind him that secrets are for sharing. Young Jamie agrees. “Now that we’re best buds, what’s yours is mine… it’s ours!” That’s right! We are jumping right to Yours, Mine & Ours. It’s basically The Brady Bunch times a thousand and is based on a 60’s film that was much better received than this remake that everyone was definitely asking for. The weirdest thing about watching this now is that the original film happens to also play a minor role in current Academy Award hopeful Licorice Pizza (or as the kids call it Licorice Za). So pretty timely stuff. Let’s go!

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) – BMeTric: 45.4; Notability: 48

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 16.8%; Notability: top 12.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.4%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, A Sound of Thunder, Are We There Yet?, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Honeymooners, Stealth, Cursed, Doom, Dirty Love, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, and 22 more; Higher Notability: The Island, Fantastic Four, Kingdom of Heaven, Bewitched, Domino, Be Cool, Fun with Dick and Jane, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, The Great Raid, Son of the Mask, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth, Cursed, The Ring Two, Flightplan, The Dukes of Hazzard, Æon Flux, and 12 more; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Chaos, Supercross; Notes: Mid-5.0 is where I would expect it. Oh ho ho, so this is just a shade better than Supercross … well, I’ll be the judge of that.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – ‘Yours, Mine & Ours” has one thing to be thankful for: Frank and Helen realize immediately that they’re still in love, all these years after they were the prom king and queen in high school. They see each other, they dance, they talk while dancing, they kiss while talking, and in the next scene, they’re engaged to be married. That saves us the Idiot Plot device in which they’re destined for each other, but are kept apart by a series of misunderstandings. In this version, they’re brought together by a series of misunderstandings, mostly on the part of the filmmakers, who thought they could remake the 1968 Henry Fonda-Lucille Ball film without its sweetness and charm.

(Having seen the original that seems like a dire warning. The only thing the original film had was sweetness and charm. There wasn’t even really a plot, it was pure sweetness and charm.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct37x6Fhbx0/

(Thanks I hate it. I guess I kind of see what they were going for … it is Nickelodeon Studios so they are looking for something that will entertain kids in like fourth grade and they need some IP for that purpose. What’s better for pratfalls than a ton of children?)

DirectorsRaja Gosnell – ( Known For: Never Been Kissed; Beverly Hills Chihuahua; Future BMT: Scooby-Doo; Home Alone 3; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; The Smurfs; The Smurfs 2; BMT: Big Momma’s House; Yours, Mine & Ours; Show Dogs; Notes: Was originally a pretty big editor, but transitioned to directing in 1996. Still does, he’s attached as the director to the new Santa movie, Santa: The Adventure Begins, which I think I heard of on a podcast.)

WritersRon Burch and David Kidd – ( Known For: Ferdinand; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Head Over Heels; Notes: Were nominated for an Emmy for helping to write a song in the show The Closer. They produced and wrote on Dinotrux.)

Melville Shavelson – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; Houseboat; A New Kind of Love; Wonder Man; Room for One More; Cast a Giant Shadow; April in Paris; On Moonlight Bay; It Started in Naples; The Paleface; The Five Pennies; The Princess and the Pirate; The War Between Men and Women; Trouble Along the Way; The Kid from Brooklyn; It’s a Great Feeling; I’ll See You in My Dreams; Sorrowful Jones; The Daughter of Rosie O’Grady; The Seven Little Foys; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: One of the original writers. Was nominated for two Oscars, for Houseboat and Jack Rose. Was president of the Writers Guild on multiple occasions.)

Mort Lachman – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; Call Me Bwana; Mixed Company; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: Again, credited for the original. Was nominated for six Emmys (three for Kate & Allie, and three for All in the Family), and won one (for All in the Family))

Madelyn Davis and Bob Carroll Jr. – ( Known For: Yours, Mine and Ours; I Love Lucy; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Notes: They were nominated for three Emmys (for I Love Lucy and Here’s Lucy), so they knew Lucille Ball, which explains why they wrote on the original film.)

ActorsDennis Quaid – ( Known For: American Underdog; Midway; The Day After Tomorrow; Stripes; The Parent Trap; Traffic; Any Given Sunday; Footloose; Soul Surfer; A Dog’s Journey; The Right Stuff; I Can Only Imagine; DragonHeart; Innerspace; Frequency; Breaking Away; The Long Riders; Enemy Mine; Blue Miracle; Smart People; Future BMT: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra; Wyatt Earp; Legion; Pandorum; Kin; The Words; Vantage Point; The Alamo; Flight of the Phoenix; Cold Creek Manor; Something to Talk About; Undercover Blues; Switchback; American Dreamz; BMT: Movie 43; Jaws 3-D; A Dog’s Purpose; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Yours, Mine & Ours; The Intruder; Playing for Keeps; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for playing Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship. The younger brother of Randy Quaid who had already established a career in Hollywood when he moved there after dropping out of the University of Houston.)

Rene Russo – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Thor; Thor: The Dark World; Nightcrawler; The Intern; Major League; The Thomas Crown Affair; Lethal Weapon 3; Lethal Weapon 4; Outbreak; Ransom; In the Line of Fire; Velvet Buzzsaw; Get Shorty; Tin Cup; Big Trouble; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Frank and Cindy; Future BMT: Two for the Money; Showtime; Major League II; Just Getting Started; Mr. Destiny; One Good Cop; Buddy; BMT: Yours, Mine & Ours; Freejack; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle in 2001; Notes: Met her husband Dan Gilroy on the set of recent BMT film Freejack. Apparently wore a brace for scoliosis in junior high.)

Jerry O’Connell – ( Known For: Scream 2; Stand by Me; Jerry Maguire; Piranha 3D; Can’t Hardly Wait; The Secret: Dare to Dream; Veronica Mars; Satanic Panic; Lies and Alibis; Buying the Cow; Reign of the Supermen; Body Shots; Space Station 76; Man About Town; Room 6; Deep Murder; Fat Slags; Baby on Board; The Lookalike; Future BMT: Obsessed; The New Guy; Tomcats; Mission to Mars; Wish Upon; Joe’s Apartment; Calendar Girl; BMT: Scary Movie V; Yours, Mine & Ours; Kangaroo Jack; Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach; Notes: Married Rebecca Romijn in 2007 and had twins girls in 2008. Apparently the first male host of CBS’ The Talk.)

Budget/Gross – $45,000,000 / Domestic: $53,412,862 (Worldwide: $72,662,923)

(Actually not half bad. I would have guessed this was an enormous bomb, but this is actually not horrible.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 6% (6/107): The initial set-up is unbelievable, the plotting is predictable and stale, and the comedy depends on repetitive pratfalls that soon get old.

(wowza less than 10% is hugely impressive for a film like this. And over 100 reviews? The critics just hated this thing!)

Reviewer Highlight: So snug, airtight and insulated from reality that the nice, well-scrubbed Cheaper by the Dozen seems almost rambunctious by comparison. – Stephen Holden, New York Times

Poster – Sklogs, Sklogs & Sklogs

(My least favorite genre of modern posters. In the 80’s this would have been hand drawn in a Meatball’s kind of way and for some reason that’s more palatable. With actual pictures of people it has far too much white space, the colors aren’t consistent and it generally looks bad. But OK font and fine spacing rescue it a little. C-)

Tagline(s) – 18 kids, one house, no way. (A)

Rock the house! (F)

(You gotta give a classic it’s due. That first tagline is short, is a classic rule of three, and gives a clear idea of the specific plot. Some question of cleverness, but it’s playing with numbers, so I think fair enough. The second is funny in a sad way. Made only sadder by its positioning near the photoshopped picture of a pig eating a pizza below Rene Russo’s legs.)

Keyword(s) – widower

Top 10: The King’s Man (2021), Scream (1996), Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021), The Karate Kid (1984), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Pig (2021), Interstellar (2014), Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood (2019), Ron’s Gone Wrong (2021), Inception (2010)

Future BMT: 76.9 Superhero Movie (2008), 63.1 Underdog (2007), 57.5 I Don’t Know How She Does It (2011), 56.2 Ghost Dad (1990), 50.3 Racing Stripes (2005), 49.7 Just Married (2003), 48.4 White Noise (2005), 46.5 Winchester (2018), 45.6 A Kid in King Arthur’s Court (1995), 44.6 The Rhythm Section (2020)

BMT: Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Countdown (2019), When in Rome (2010), Blended (2014), Warcraft (2016), Fantasy Island (2020), The 5th Wave (2016), Death Wish (2018), Elektra (2005), A Walk to Remember (2002), Thir13en Ghosts (2001), The Choice (2016), Into the Storm (2014), Safe Haven (2013), Zoolander 2 (2016), Color of Night (1994), I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007), Max Payne (2008), Alex Cross (2012), Texas Rangers (2001), Yours, Mine & Ours (2005), The Intruder (2019), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Are We Done Yet? (2007), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), September Dawn (2007)

Matches: The Nice Guys (2016), Rebecca (2020), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), The Constant Gardener (2005), My Girl (1991), Babel (2006), Nanny McPhee (2005), Safe Haven (2013), Dan in Real Life (2007), Fathers & Daughters (2015), Dead Silence (2007), Hide and Seek (2005), Jersey Girl (2004), Arlington Road (1999), Smart People (2008), This Beautiful Fantastic (2016), Mission to Mars (2000), Return to Me (2000), Yours, Mine & Ours (2005), The Intruder (2019), Our Souls at Night (2017), Ghost Dad (1990), Everybody’s Fine (2009), Underdog (2007), Dog Days (2018), Love Happens (2009), Mother and Child (2009), Martian Child (2007), Out to Sea (1997), … and many more.

(That might be a genuine 2008 dip! Sometimes it is just because less films were being made around there, but I could genuinely see Hollywood thinking no one wants to hear about widowers during an international financial collapse.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dennis Quaid is No. 1 billed in Yours, Mine & Ours and No. 1 billed in The Intruder, which also stars Meagan Good (No. 2 billed) who is in The Love Guru (No. 5 billed) which also stars Jessica Alba (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 5) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch American Dreamz we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Drake Bell and Miranda Cosgrove played brother and sister in the Nickelodeon kid’s show, Drake & Josh (2004).

The party band in the movie is a Christian alternative rock band called Hawk Nelson.

Danielle Panabaker originally tried to get the part of Christina but was changed back and forth and eventually got the part of Phoebe because of her resemblance to Rene Russo.

The house the Beardsley family is moving into in the beginning of the film is the same house the Banks family lives in in the 1991 remake of Father of the Bride.

In the 1968 original film, Frank Beardsley (portrayed by Henry Fonda) was an active duty US Navy Chief Warrant Officer (a rank between commissioned officers and non-commissioned officers, usually granted to expert technical specialists with extensive experience), while in this remake, Frank Beardsley is a US Coast Guard Rear Admiral.

When Mrs. Munion is relaxing in her room, she is watching WWE Royal Rumble 2005. As Dylan wakes up, he has a WWE Magazine over his head.

Nominees for Commandant must be approved by Congress after appearing before House and Senate committees.

This was the first film to be co-produced by Paramount Pictures and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. The original 1968 film was produced by Desilu Productions, which merged with Paramount the year before, so the film’s copyright was renewed by Paramount. However, United Artists (owned by MGM since 1981) has retained full distribution rights to the 1968 film to this day. Columbia Pictures became involved once its parent company, Sony, purchased a stake in MGM.

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