Jamie and Patrick wait by the train tracks whistling a jaunty tune. Their bags are packed for Delaware and they are feeling good. Real good. Good Movie Twins is up and running and they even have their first movie picked out. Jamie stares down at their mint DVD copy of Citizen Kane. “What’s this one about again? I hope it’s a biopic of Carol Kane,” Jamie says hopefully before starting to get antsy. “Where is this train? When are we gonna get to Delllaawwwaarreeeee?” he whines and Patrick sighs. He pulls out their Good Movie Twins Rulez are Coolz card. “Rule #3 – Trains, Planes, and Cranes,” he mutters and Jamie perks up. “All those are great… is there a train, plane or crane in Citizen Kane?” he asks, but before Patrick can respond he feels a tap on his shoulder. “Hello, you young whippersnappers, I was hoping that perhaps you were a couple of good boys who could help an old man with his luggage.” Jamie and Patrick look at each other and then at the old man. He has a mass of frizzy white hair, tiny bifocals and a newsboy hat… in fact everything about him screams OLD… suspiciously so. But before Patrick can voice his skepticism the old man takes note of Jamie’s DVD. “Oh, boy Citizen Kane. That one is my favorite. No trains, planes or cranes. Although trains and planes are a big part of a lot of good films.” Suddenly Patrick sees an opportunity for GMT research. Instead of brushing off this suspicious old man he instead crosses off Cranes from Rule #3 and agrees to help him just as their train pulls in. With their moods only further enhanced, Patrick and Jamie put on their sunglasses. “This train is gonna be money.” That’s right! We’re watching the moniest of trains in Money Train. No it’s not a train made of money, it’s just an armored subway train that contains boatloads of money… specifically on New Years Eve. You ready for a countdown? Let’s go!
Money Train (1995) – BMeTric: 41.1; Notability: 54
StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 9.6%; Notability: top 4.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.7%; Higher BMeT: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Vampire in Brooklyn, Showgirls, Fair Game, Jury Duty, Batman Forever, Congo, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Theodore Rex, The Babysitter, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh, Judge Dredd, Nine Months, The Scarlet Letter, Johnny Mnemonic, Virtuosity, Jade, and 4 more; Higher Notability: Batman Forever, Congo, Judge Dredd, Cutthroat Island, Virtuosity, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, Showgirls, Stuart Saves His Family, Four Rooms, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers; Lower RT: National Lampoon’s Senior Trip, Delta of Venus, The Big Green, Jury Duty, Theodore Rex, The Walking Dead, Born to Be Wild, Top Dog, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, The Hunted, It Takes Two, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Bushwhacked, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Fair Game, Vampire in Brooklyn, Canadian Bacon, The Scarlet Letter, Four Rooms, Jade, and 19 more; Notes: Loving that notability for a 90s film. How we haven’t seen Under Siege 2: Dark Territory yet is beyond me. Same goes for Jury Duty.
Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – The costars of White Men Can’t Jump try to reignite their chemistry as randy N.Y.C. transit cops – and brothers (!) – who fight over the same woman, argue over Woody’s gambling fever, and get involved in the theft of a money-laden subway car. Violent, overly contrived buddy flick with some big subterranean action scenes. The stars are funny together, but Blake is way over the top as the boys’ megalomaniac supervisor. All in all, “token” entertainment.
(Token, get it? Like subway tokens. Blake is indeed insane, and gambling fever? Woody should get that checked out. I give this review 3 Maltins. That’s out of four. Needed mor esemi-colons.)
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Odo80-WFgM/
(I remember this trailer so well! I remember the explanation of them being brothers being on constantly. Have to say … this trailer is rocking. I’m amped to watch this movie now.)
Directors – Joseph Ruben – ( Known For: The Stepfather; Dreamscape; The Ottoman Lieutenant; Return to Paradise; Blindsided; The Pom Pom Girls; True Believer; The Sister in Law; Gorp; Joyride; Our Winning Season; Future BMT: The Good Son; The Forgotten; BMT: Sleeping with the Enemy; Money Train; Notes: This basically ended his major motion picture run he was one from 1987 to 1995. Wrote Dreamscape.)
Writers – Doug Richardson – ( Known For: Bad Boys; Die Hard 2; Future BMT: Hostage; BMT: Welcome to Mooseport; Money Train; Notes: His one-two punch of Money Train and Bad Boys in 1995 is something else. I assume he’s a script doctor, otherwise his credits make no sense.)
David Loughery – ( Known For: Shattered; Fatale; End of the Road; Lakeview Terrace; Nurse; Dreamscape; Blindsided; Flashback; Future BMT: The Three Musketeers; Obsessed; Passenger 57; Tom and Huck; BMT: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier; The Intruder; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Star Trek V: The Final Frontier in 1990; Notes: Tom and Huck and The Three Musketeers. He’s like a case study in adapting classic literature poorly.)
Actors – Wesley Snipes – ( Known For: Blade; Coming 2 America; Blade II; To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar; King of New York; Major League; New Jack City; White Men Can’t Jump; Dolemite Is My Name; Waiting to Exhale; Chaos; Jungle Fever; Brooklyn’s Finest; Undisputed; Cut Throat City; Gallowwalkers; Mo’ Better Blues; One Night Stand; Chi-Raq; The Recall; Future BMT: U.S. Marshals; Blade: Trinity; Passenger 57; Wildcats; Murder at 1600; The Fan; Drop Zone; The Art of War; Sugar Hill; Play It to the Bone; Boiling Point; Streets of Gold; BMT: The Expendables 3; Rising Sun; Demolition Man; Money Train; Notes: Back doing movies like Coming 2 America and was just in the mini series True Story. Spent a shade over two years in prison for tax evasion.)
Woody Harrelson – ( Known For: Triangle of Sadness; The Hunger Games; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; No Country for Old Men; Out of the Furnace; Seven Psychopaths; The Hunger Games: Catching Fire; Solo: A Star Wars Story; Friends with Benefits; Zombieland; The Man from Toronto; Venom: Let There Be Carnage; Now You See Me; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2; Midway; Natural Born Killers; The Edge of Seventeen; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1; The Thin Red Line; Zombieland: Double Tap; Future BMT: Venom; Indecent Proposal; Now You See Me 2; Seven Pounds; Wildcats; Semi-Pro; After the Sunset; Free Birds; The Cowboy Way; Palmetto; Play It to the Bone; BMT: 2012; Money Train; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for Indecent Proposal in 1994; Notes: Made famous as Woody on Cheers. Nominated three times for Oscars for Three Billboards, The Messenger, and The People vs. Larry Flynt. Nominated 8 times for Emmys, five times for Cheers (he won once), and for Frasier, Game Change, and True Detective.)
Jennifer Lopez – ( Known For: Shotgun Wedding; Marry Me; Hustlers; Out of Sight; The Cell; Home; Second Act; Antz; U Turn; Parker; Selena; Jersey Girl; Shall We Dance; An Unfinished Life; My Family; Lila & Eve; Bordertown; Blood and Wine; El cantante; My Little Girl; Future BMT: Maid in Manhattan; Ice Age: Collision Course; Enough; Jack; Ice Age: Continental Drift; The Wedding Planner; The Back-up Plan; Monster-in-Law; Angel Eyes; Feel the Noise; BMT: The Boy Next Door; Anaconda; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Gigli; Money Train; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for Gigli in 2004; Nominee for Worst Actress in 2002 for Angel Eyes, and The Wedding Planner; in 2003 for Enough, and Maid in Manhattan; in 2006 for Monster-in-Law; and in 2016 for The Boy Next Door; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 2005 for Jersey Girl; and in 2013 for What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Nominee for Worst Actress of the Decade in 2010 for Angel Eyes, Enough, Gigli, Jersey Girl, Maid in Manhattan, Monster-in-Law, and The Wedding Planner; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for Jersey Girl in 2005; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for her Super Bowl Halftime Show in 2020. Notably started as a fly girl on In Living Color.)
Budget/Gross – $68 million / Domestic: $35,431,113 (Worldwide: $35,431,113)
(Whoops, that’s terrible! I can see why it didn’t click with people though now that I’ve seen it, it is a bit too self-serious to work on the level of Con Air and others of that ilk.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (7/32): Loud, incoherent, and aimless, Money Train reunites Snipes and Harrelson — and proves that starring duos are far from immune to the law of diminishing returns.
(It is incoherent. I can give it that. You know? I completely forgot these two starred in White Men Can’t Jump. They don’t work as well here as a duo.)
Reviewer Highlight: It’s stupid, but also breezier than the year’s other 12-score releases not worth a second look. – Mike Clark, USA Today
Poster – The Great Train Robbery
(If I could induct a film in the BMT HoF purely off a poster it would be this one. My word! This shit is off the rails (pun very much intended). Look at the majesty of two actors running from a fake train with a look on their faces like “What is this picture for?” The orange glow of the poster hurt my eyes and yet I’m drawn to it like a moth to a money train. Even the font is like “I’m gonna barely try but still be a little unique… just like Money Train.” I hate it… and yet I love it. Starts at a D and then comes all the way around to an A.)
Tagline(s) – Get on the fast track! (D)
(Ha! No! Sorry, that’s horrible. At least it’s short, I guess.)
Keyword(s) – good
Top 10: Good Will Hunting (1997), The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), The Great Gatsby (2013), Hot Fuzz (2007), Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016), The Wizard of Oz (1939), Man on Fire (2004), The Nice Guys (2016)
Future BMT: 67.3 Phat Girlz (2006), 63.2 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 60.6 Like a Boss (2020), 56.2 The Fly II (1989), 51.7 Playing with Fire (2019), 51.6 The Boss (2016), 51.0 Johnny Be Good (1988), 50.6 The Hot Chick (2002), 49.9 Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), 48.4 Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), 47.1 Barney’s Great Adventure (1998), 45.1 Fly Me to the Moon 3D (2007), 44.9 Fantastic Four (2005), 40.4 No Good Deed (2014), 39.4 Good Burger (1997), 37.2 The Great Wall (2016), 37.0 Stroker Ace (1983), 36.3 Milk Money (1994), 34.6 Mad Money (2008), 34.3 Mo’ Money (1992)
BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Cool as Ice (1991), Cool World (1992), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Hot Pursuit (2015), One for the Money (2012), Fire Down Below (1997), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Fire Birds (1990), Good Luck Chuck (2007), Be Cool (2005), Chill Factor (1999), Money Train (1995), Hot to Trot (1988), The Golden Child (1986), Righteous Kill (2008), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), The Wizard (1989), Hunter Killer (2018)
Best Options (Action): 48.4 Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), 44.9 Fantastic Four (2005), 41.0 Money Train (1995), 37.2 The Great Wall (2016), 37.0 Stroker Ace (1983), 34.3 Mo’ Money (1992), 31.3 The Nude Bomb (1980), 24.5 Money Talks (1997), 21.7 One Good Cop (1991), 21.7 Killer Elite (2011), 14.4 The Great Raid (2005), 2.5 Man on Fire (2004)
(Spoilees, we are doing the Fantastic Fours later on, so this was actually the best option. And honestly, it’s by a long shot, there was no way I was watching The Great Wall.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Wesley Snipes is No. 1 billed in Money Train and No. 2 billed in Demolition Man, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 12. If we were to watch Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.
Notes – Two days after the film opened, two men poured gasoline over a ticket booth on the Brooklyn subway and set it alight in an incident similar to the one depicted in the film. The booth attendant was burned and later died of his injuries. Consequently, New York City subway workers called for a boycott of the film and the removal of all the posters from every station. Senator Bob Dole quickly came out in support of them. Columbia Pictures refused to bow to their demands.
This boasts the distinction of having one of the longest sets ever constructed for a film. At over three thousand feet long, twenty feet high, and four railway tracks wide, the set was roughly the same size as two Empire State buildings lying side by side. The original plan was to film in the real New York City subway, but the logistics proved to be too problematic.
Twelve New York City subway cars were shipped over to Los Angeles to the film set. They were converted to run on propane so that the rails on the film set did not need to be electrified, a potential health hazard for all of the crew.
The prop train used for the money train was an actual retired New York City subway train that was destined to be scrapped. After the film was completed, it was donated to the New York City Transit Authority, and currently resides in the Coney Island Rapid Transit Yard.
Most of the subway scenes were filmed on a four thousand-foot-long set built to resemble a typical four-track New York City subway trunkline. It included three stations, all of which were built as local stops with the platforms on the outside of the outer tracks. Included were I-beams between each track, spaced five feet apart just as they are in New York City. The ceiling, however, was much higher than on any actual New York City subway line.
While there are scenes that show R30 class subway trains running on the IRT Lexington Avenue Line, this would be physically impossible in reality. Due to New York City’s subway having been constructed by competing companies, trains for the lettered lines would not fit on the numbered lines, as they are too wide. IRT trains are narrower and shorter than BMT/IND trains.
Robert Blake claims that his first meeting with Producer Jon Peters consisted of Peters wrestling Blake to the ground. At the premiere, Blake said Peters told him he wrestled with Blake to see if Blake would lose his temper.
Originally, the movie was developed by Director Tony Scott and Screenwriter Doug Richardson. After some time, Scott left the project and was replaced by Joseph Ruben, who fired Richardson and had the script re-written.
The sex scene between Wesley Snipes and Jennifer Lopez was not in the original script, but was added after filming had begun.
The Wall Street station scenes were filmed at the Union Square station on the IRT Lexington Avenue line. The 33rd Street station is the real one, on the same line. All scenes filmed on the subway set featured retired carbon steel R-30 subway cars, painted red. Scenes filmed on the actual New York City subway featured stainless steel R-62 cars.
The subway car used as the money train in the film is a modified R21 subway car. The car was modified by the Metropolitan Transit Authority and film crew in a way that looks absolutely nothing like the actual revenue collection trains used in the system.
Bad Movie Twins 