Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot Preview

While Patrick creates an intricate outline for the Rich & Poe sequel, 2 Rich 2 Poe: Reclamation, Jamie paces their Brooklyn apartment slamming Mountain Dews and scratching at his cable-knit sweater. “You know what’s kind of funny?” says Patrick looking up from the page, “This is kind of like that Eddie Murphy film Vampire in Brooklyn.” Jamie looks confused and Patrick continues, “didn’t you say you were bitten by a vampire while I was in the z-universe?” Jamie nods slowly, “Oh, right. Months ago now. Guess I forgot about that.” He runs his hand over the scar, “oh well, I’m sure that’ll come back to… bite me.” And with that Jamie and Patrick laugh and laugh and laugh. Getting right back to business Patrick goes through his analytical checklist of everything he knows to make a bad movie. “Alright, so we need to recast. Let’s get Chris Klein and Neal McDonough in here to spice things up Street Fighter style. We gotta take it to New Orleans where Nic Cage butters his bread and also go to space. Add in a couple twisty-turns, a steamy sex scene, and I think we have it.” Jamie takes a look at the outline and slowly takes a sip of Dew. “You sure about this?… I mean, this sounds kind of rad.” But Patrick tells him to trust him. Ratchet this shit up to X-treme levels and it’ll get the job done. Crazy=bad, it’s a formula as old as time. “Well OK, but how do we get Rich and Poe to New Orleans?” Jamie asks scratching his head. “Easy breezy,” says Patrick, “three words for you: gun-totin’ grandma.” Jamie’s eye’s light up, “Can she be foul-mouthed?” Patrick grins, “Darn tootin’,” That’s right! We continue our journey through Siskel and Ebert’s worst of the worst by heading to a film that we’ve been saving for a rainy day. Sly Stallone films are a rare commodity that can’t be thrown around willy-nilly (particularly when they have to be saved for the Stallonian Calendar). But it felt right for this cycle as Siskel and Ebert hated it so much. It’s finally time for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Let’s go!

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) – BMeTric: 80.0

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(It’s a bit surprising this is regressing to the mean. I would have imagined this would be a classic, and something people would be seeking out in order to specifically give it a terrible review. The regression kind of suggests that normal people are the ones mostly stumbling onto this and rating it after the fact … why would anyone watch this?)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Cop Stallone is joined by his loud-mouthed, gun-toting mamma (Getty), and they erase crime from the streets of L.A. One joke action-comedy which quickly wears thin; Getty’s character, meant to be funny, comes off as thoroughly obnoxious.

(Oh God. Yeah. You can tell from the trailer the movie is a complete one joke pile of garbage. Shoot. This is going to be a trainwreck.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMQ-RoCKa6o/

(Oh Jesus. It appears to just be one long aggravating joke over and over. My mother is suffocating, she doesn’t know about police business or guns, she’s interfering in my love life. Unpleasant. This isn’t going to be funny, it is going to be unpleasant.)

Directors – Roger Spottiswoode – (Known For: Tomorrow Never Dies; The 6th Day; Turner & Hooch; A Street Cat Named Bob; Deadly Pursuit; Under Fire; Shake Hands with the Devil; Future BMT: Air America; Terror Train; The Best of Times; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Notes: Wrote 48 Hrs. and was nominated for an Emmy for directing And the Band Played On in 1993.)

Writers – Blake Snyder (written by) – (Future BMT: Blank Cheque; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot in 1993; Notes: Died in 2009. Somewhat notable for his Save the Cat! trilogy of screenwriting books)

William Osborne (written by) – (Known For: Twins; The Scorpion King; Future BMT: Thunderbirds; Ghost in the Machine; The Real McCoy; Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Notes: Novelist. He is a lawyer and is married to Debra Hayward which maybe explains his involvement in movies.)

William Davies (written by) – (Known For: How to Train Your Dragon; Twins; Mia et le lion blanc; Flushed Away; Puss in Boots; The Guilty; Alien Autopsy; Future BMT: Ghost in the Machine; The Real McCoy; Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde; Johnny English; Johnny English Strikes Again; Johnny English Reborn; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot in 1993; Notes: Brother of rather successful producer Michael Davies. Sold a spec-script Fool on the Hill for $4 million after Jim Carrey expressed interest in it, but it went unproduced.)

Actors – Sylvester Stallone – (Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2; Creed II; Rocky; Creed; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; First Blood; Escape Plan; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Cliffhanger; Rocky II; Antz; Cop Land; Bullet to the Head; Escape to Victory; Death Race 2000; Nighthawks; Future BMT: Escape Plan II; Staying Alive; Rocky V; D-Tox; The Specialist; An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn; Rambo III; Avenging Angelo; Daylight; Ratchet & Clank; Backtrace; Collection; Assassins; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Oscar; Rocky IV; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Zookeeper; Get Carter; Rhinestone; Judge Dredd; Cobra; Over the Top; The Expendables 3; Tango & Cash; Grudge Match; Lock Up; Demolition Man; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director, and Worst Actor for Rocky IV in 1986; Winner for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actor for Rambo: First Blood Part II in 1986; Winner for Worst Actor in 1985 for Rhinestone; in 1989 for Rambo III; and in 1993 for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for Spy Kids 3: Game Over in 2004; Winner for Worst Screen Couple in 1995 for Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, and The Specialist; Winner for Worst Actor of the Decade in 1990 for Cobra, Cobra, Lock Up, Lock Up, Over the Top, Over the Top, Rambo III, Rambo III, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rhinestone, Rocky IV, and Tango & Cash; Nominee for Worst Director for The Expendables in 2011; Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 1985 for Rhinestone; in 1986 for Rocky IV; in 1987 for Cobra; in 1989 for Rambo III; in 1991 for Rocky V; in 1994 for Cliffhanger; and in 2002 for Driven; Nominee for Worst Actor in 1987 for Cobra; in 1988 for Over the Top; in 1990 for Lock Up, and Tango & Cash; in 1991 for Rocky V; in 1992 for Oscar; in 1995 for The Specialist; in 1996 for Assassins, and Judge Dredd; in 1997 for Daylight; in 2001 for Get Carter; and in 2014 for Bullet to the Head, Escape Plan, and Grudge Match; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for Driven in 2002; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn in 1999; Notes: Rambo V is going to be crazy. Whether it is good or bad is immaterial. It is going to be crazy … and it is basically the only thing the news is reporting about Sly recently.)

Estelle Getty – (Known For: Stuart Little; Mask; Tootsie; Future BMT: Mannequin; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actress for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot in 1993; Notes: She died in 2008 and is probably most famous for her role in Golden Girls as Bea Arthur’s mother.)

JoBeth Williams – (Known For: Poltergeist; Wyatt Earp; Kramer vs. Kramer; The Big Chill; Stir Crazy; The Perfect Catch; The Big Year; In the Land of Women; Teachers; The Dogs of War; TiMER; Desert Bloom; Barracuda; Just Write; Future BMT: Jungle 2 Jungle; Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Switch; Dutch; BMT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Notes: Nominated for Best Live Action Short in 1995 for On Hope. Despite that she didn’t direct anything significant in her career.)

Budget/Gross – $45 million / Domestic: $28,411,210 (Worldwide: $70,611,210)

(That is a bomb, but not as bad as one would expect … did Sly really have such clout that this films would earn like $40 million overseas? I’m not sure I believe it.)

#16 for the Mother genre

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(Beats out the Pringle’s Mom’s Club which is nice. It actually made me wonder, do more “mother” films come out around Mother’s Day? A quick look and you’ll find that indeed May has traditionally had the most “mother” films released. November and December also have quite a few, but perhaps that makes sense as people will be going to the movies with family around the holidays as well.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (2/26): Thoroughly witless and thuddingly unfunny, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot gives its mismatched stars very little to work with – and as a result, they really don’t work.

(Unfunny. It is going to be brutally unfunny. And just exasperating. Sigh. Reviewer Highlight: It is moronic beyond comprehension, an exercise in desperation during which even Sylvester Stallone, a repository of self-confidence, seems to be disheartened. – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times.)

Poster – She Got a Guuuuuuuuuuuun (C-)

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(Oh man, that’s a lot of color. Much like the very common sky background, this passing cars background in unexplainable. Even more so because it actually makes the poster hard to look at. Otherwise I’m actually OK with this because there is literally no other poster you can make. This is the poster: aimed with laser focus at capturing the Stallone-and-old-lady-with-gun market.)

Tagline(s) – Detective Joe Bomowski’s mom is in town for a visit. She did the laundry, washed the windows and scrubbed the floors. Now, she’s gonna clean up the streets. (D)

(Oh no. No! No! No! You got an old lady with a gun and Sly Stallone and you go old school paragraph tagline?! You have so much to work with! I only don’t give this an F because I liked the roundabout cleaning pun they dropped in. But come on.)

Keyword(s) – mother; Top Ten by BMeTric: 86.4 Troll 2 (1990); 85.8 The Cat in the Hat (2003); 82.0 I Know Who Killed Me (2007); 80.0 Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992); 70.0 Jeepers Creepers 3 (2017); 68.0 It’s Pat: The Movie (1994); 65.1 Leprechaun (1993); 60.6 The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999); 56.5 XX (2017); 55.2 Queen of the Damned (2002);

(We aren’t watching Jeepers Creepers 3, that film is legitimately made by a pedophile. Screw that.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot and No. 1 billed in Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 10. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were competing against each other at that time, and Schwarzenegger faked interest in this movie in order to make Stallone audition for it. Stallone, who heard that Schwarzenegger was interested in headlining in this movie, immediately dropped everything and contacted the producers, saying that he wanted to headline. He deeply regrets this. (Oh God. What a weirdo. Definitely something Arnold would do. Watch Pumping Iron, he always seemed to be a step ahead of the other weightlifters and it wouldn’t surprise me if he was always a step ahead of Sly as well)

Sylvester Stallone considers this the worst film he’s ever done.

When Estelle Getty found out that filming the movie would involve guns, she said that she would only do the movie if there were no guns in it. The producers lied to her (and told her that there would be no guns in the movie) in order to get her to sign on. (That’s mean)

The picture was nominated for Worst Picture at the Hastings Bad Cinema Society’s 15th Stinkers Bad Movie Awards in 1992. (For reals, was this a thing back in the day. I’m very aware of it existing, but I never remember anyone actually knowing about it at the time)

When Estelle Getty is showing pictures of her son to the people that were aboard the plane, there is a black and white picture of a boy in a checkered shirt, which happens to be Sylvester Stallone as a young boy. This picture was also used in Rocky (1976), and can be seen sitting on Rocky’s mirror. (Makes sense)

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Sylvester Stallone, 1993)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Estelle Getty, 1993)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Blake Snyder, William Osborne, William Davies, 1993)

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Righteous Kill Preview

Rich and Poe have gone undercover in a high-stakes middle school D&D game to uncover a conspiracy involving the latest designer drug DeezNuts. Sitting across from their prime suspect Helmut Gruber, they don their characters of Sorsaron the Barbarian and the powerful Mage, Brawln. “Shall we begin?” Gruber says, smirking and lightly touching the scar beneath his eye. “Your merry band of adventurers are aiming to recover the Crown of Blizarion from a horde of goblin thieves, what do you do?” Rich looks over at Poe and they nod. “I shoot the wooden tire of their wagon with an arrow, it splinters apart, and the resulting explosion kills half of the horde.” Gruber’s eye twitches. Rich and Poe pound fists “and I summon my sea demon, whose tentacled arms consume the other half of the horde”. Gruber smiles “Fools! Do you even know what kind of roll that would require?!” Rich and Poe’s eyes glaze over, small black orbs of unseeing bloodlust, and they roll twenty twenty-sided dice. “I believe that is a natural 400, Gruber,” they say in profoundly creepy unison. “And now Rich and Poe draw their police issue Glock .22s and place you under arrest, Gruber. Would you like to roll to Disarm? Be warned, any Attack of Opportunity will be met by deadly force”. Gruber screams, “But my rules, how did you know all of the rules?!” Rich handcuffs Gruber and smugly says “Because everyone knows, rulez=coolz, dirtbag”. Back at the station, Rich and Poe enter to a muted crowd. The commissioner comes out of his office and says, “Rich and Poe … Gruber’s dead. And we know you are the Limerick Killers. You’ve been killing criminals across this city for years.” Poe laughs, “Accused of murder again, Rich. And to think, I was only ten days from retirement.” That’s right! We’re watching Righteous Kill, which reunited Al Pacino and Robert De Niro for the first time since Heat. It was produced by Randall Emmett who also produced the Al Pacino vehicle 88 Minutes. Crazily both films were directed by Jon Avnet and produced so close together that Al Pacino got a Razzie nomination for worst actor for both Righteous Kill and 88 Minutes! Let’s go!

Righteous Kill (2008) – BMeTric: 33.0

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(That is actually a surprisingly high rating. And for several years it was above 6.0 as well. Six … seems right. You are going to get those De Niro and Pacino-heads all over this artificially bumping up the score I think.)

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Overly busy whodunit storyline follows manhunt to identify a serial killer who only murders sleazy types “who deserve it,” and whose m.o. suggests that he may be a cop. Pairing of De Niro and Pacino as longtime partners on the NYPD gives this film its raison d’ȇtre; their commanding presence and effortless teamwork makes this movie watchable.

(Huh. Honestly surprised. This film had “Pacino and De Niro sleepwalk through this borefest” written all over it. Instead it basically just says it check the boxes needed to make this film exist and nothing more … which I can live with I think. I’m an Order guy more than a Law guy for the most part, but I don’t mind cop movies.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpd18t9UfYQ

(One, that is an incredibly long trailer. Two, they drop not one, but two f-bombs in the trailer! An R-rated trailer! Three, the music is bonkers, specifically just rolling into the strangely misplaced Sympathy for the Devil near the end. This is somehow just as big of a mess as the movie itself.)

Directors – Jon Avnet – (Known For: Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe; Future BMT: Up Close & Personal; Red Corner; The War; BMT: 88 Minutes; Righteous Kill; Notes: He’s kind of broken into the experimental content and distribution area in the past decade. He ran a pseudo network specializing in very specialized tv shows starring very famous actors (and basically no one else). Wild stuff. Made 88 Minutes (BMT Hall of Fame) the same year)

Writers – Russell Gewirtz (written by) – (Known For: Inside Man; BMT: Righteous Kill; Notes: Somewhat odd career, broke out with Inside Man, did this, and then is in the news all the way up to 2015 whenever someone gets him for a job, but he has no credits. I assume he specializes in first drafts of optioned property, but there is little information.)

Actors – Robert De Niro – (Known For: Goodfellas; Heat; Taxi Driver; The Godfather: Part II; Casino; A Bronx Tale; American Hustle; Stardust; The Intern; The Deer Hunter; Sleepers; Once Upon a Time in America; Silver Linings Playbook; Cape Fear; Limitless; Jackie Brown; Meet the Parents; Raging Bull; The Untouchables; Brazil; Future BMT: Little Fockers; Killing Season; Showtime; The Carrier; The Fan; Hide and Seek; Analyze That; Shark Tale; Arthur et les Minimoys; The Bridge of San Luis Rey; 15 Minutes; Heist; Red Lights; Meet the Fockers; The Family; The Comedian; Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein; Bloody Mama; Killer Elite; Stanley & Iris; Great Expectations; BMT: Godsend; The Big Wedding; New Year’s Eve; Dirty Grandpa; Righteous Kill; Grudge Match; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Dirty Grandpa in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2003 for Showtime; Notes: Recently proclaimed “Fuck Trump” at the Tonys … which turns out is a fairly divisive comment on several fronts.)

Al Pacino – (Known For: The Godfather; Heat; Scarface; The Godfather: Part II; Ocean’s Thirteen; The Godfather: Part III; Insomnia; The Devil’s Advocate; Scent of a Woman; Donnie Brasco; Carlito’s Way; The Pirates of Somalia; Dog Day Afternoon; Serpico; Dick Tracy; Glengarry Glen Ross; The Insider; Any Given Sunday; Danny Collins; The Recruit; Future BMT: The Son of No One; Misconduct; Hangman; Revolution; Two for the Money; Stand Up Guys; Bobby Deerfield; BMT: Jack and Jill; Gigli; 88 Minutes; Righteous Kill; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for Jack and Jill in 2012; Nominee for Worst Actor in 1986 for Revolution; and in 2009 for 88 Minutes, and Righteous Kill; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Gigli in 2004; Notes: Recently played Joe Paterno in a made for television movie to somewhat great acclaim. Has a bird’s nest for a wig. One of those statements was false.)

Carla Gugino – (Known For: Watchmen; San Andreas; Man of Steel; Gerald’s Game; Sin City; American Gangster; Night at the Museum; This Boy’s Life; Spy Kids; Race to Witch Mountain; Faster; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams; Mr. Popper’s Penguins; Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco; Snake Eyes; The Lookout; Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael; Miami Rhapsody; Bling; Future BMT: The Unborn; Rise; Michael; Elektra Luxx; The One; Son in Law; Troop Beverly Hills; The Singing Detective; Women in Trouble; Every Day; I Melt with You; The Centre of the World; Even Money; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Hotel Noir; BMT: New Year’s Eve; Righteous Kill; Sucker Punch; The Space Between Us; Notes: Her aunt Carol Merrill was a model for Let’s Make a Deal during its original run and encouraged her into show business.)

Budget/Gross – $60 million / Domestic: $40,081,410 (Worldwide: $78,460,699)

(Fairly bad return there. I’m sure they expected more, but $60 million for a buddy cop film? Too much. The financing seems messed up from the start.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (27/144): Al Pacino and Robert De Niro do their best to elevate this dowdy genre exercise, but even these two greats can’t resuscitate the film’s hackneyed script.

(Matches Maltin’s review to a tee actually. So I guess that is encouraging. Reviewer Highlight: What a waste. – Mark Rahner, Seattle Times)

Poster – Righteous Sklog (F)

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(That can’t be right… [checks IMDb]… my God. That is simply atrocious.)

Tagline(s) – Most people respect the badge. Everybody respects the gun. (B-)

(Hmmmm, I like the sentiment here. A little forced with the “most” at the front. And it’s a bit long. But good juxtaposition and hint at the plot. Not bad.)

Keyword(s) – nypd; Top Ten by BMeTric: 68.0 Vampire in Brooklyn (1995); 58.7 Ghostbusters (2016); 54.8 Crossfire (2012); 51.9 The Son of No One (2011); 46.6 Serving Sara (2002); 35.1 Anamorph (2007); 33.0 Righteous Kill (2008); 32.8 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016); 29.6 Stonewall (2015); 27.9 Spider-Man 3 (2007);

(Ghostbusters is kind of fake news considering it doesn’t qualify for a long shot. Serving Sara will be fun though. I’ve seen quite a few of these already, like Spider-Man 3, which also doesn’t qualify.)

Movie Stub – Righteous Kill – C-class – Nothing much to say, this is a very good wiki page with very little that needs adding. Funny note here from a decade ago though: “Shouldn’t the video game based on the movie be mentioned? I think it came out even before the film did. — Frecklefσσt | Talk 16:27, 2 October 2008 (UTC)” … No one has done that, but I certainly think that should be included in the release section personally. I’ll be looking into that soon enough.

Notes – Carla Gugino played the sex partner of Robert De Niro in this movie. She played his daughter in This Boy’s Life (1993). (Wow, that’s pretty gross)

This is the first movie where Al Pacino and Robert De Niro have extended interaction. They never shared a scene in The Godfather: Part II (1974) and in Heat (1995) they only had two scenes.

The initial cut of this movie ran for two hours, but after a rather negative test screening, Nu Image hastily re-cut the film down to its slender one hour and forty-one minutes to make it more fast-paced and action-orientated. Snippets of some of the deleted scenes can be seen in the trailer. (I want to see that extended cut bro)

Overture Films paid a little over twelve million dollars for the American distribution rights, beating out Warner Brothers Pictures and Universal Pictures, who also put in bids of over ten million dollars. (Terrible choice obviously)

Robert De Niro and Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson appeared in Freelancers (2012) and Last Vegas (2013).

When Al Pacino is asked by the psychiatrist what he would do if he retired, Rooster answers “I don’t know, buy a boat.” In the movie, Donnie Brasco, Al Pacino plays Lefty, who has an affinity for boats, and wants one he cannot afford. Near the end of the movie, Donny Brasco asks Pacino if he had his boat would he sail away & leave organized crime. (I’ll leave this weird note as it sounds the most plausibly like an actual call back than many of the others in these fake IMDb notes).

Awards

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Al Pacino)