Show Dogs Preview

Awakened by the stench of Frang, Jamie and Patrick are stunned to find themselves on a submarine. Suddenly a man busts into the room flipping a coin in the air, “Captain Luckman’s my name and welcome to my understaffed boat. The stench from this corpse knocked out my crew, laddies, and now we’ll never navigate the Straits of Sklogvania to rescue the President of the goddamn United States. Unless…” he says as he flips the coin again, “I knew it! Heads again. I guess you boys are my new crew. Get moving.” As Jamie and Patrick are hurried to the bridge they look at each other in wonderment. Was the world in fact torn asunder through their adventures across dimensions? Over the next several months they run and maintain the submarine under the tutelage of Captain Luckman. They come to consider the submarine their home and forget the lives they left behind. When it finally comes time to navigate the Straits of Sklogvania they do it deftly without hesitation. Captain Luckman looks at them with the pride of a father for his sons and decides to gift them his lucky coin. With tears in his eyes, he prepares to pay them a fond farewell, for after 25 years on the job he’s ready to retire. As he shakes their hands for that final time he looks them hard in the eyes and says, “Wake up.”

Jamie and Patrick awaken once again. The world is whole. It feels the same as before, but they somehow feel different… they just can’t figure out how. The Ivory Socket and the Obsidian Dongle are nowhere to be found, but they know they are safe. “Was it real? Or was it a dream,” asks Patrick. “We may never know,” responds Jamie. Suddenly when he reaches into his pocket he feels the lucky coin. “The coin…” he says. “And Frang,” gasps Patrick pointing to the very large shark corpse sitting in their living room. They collapse on the couch. “So what do you want to do now?” Jamie asks. Patrick smiles and puts on a pair of sunglasses. “I think we’ve earned ourselves some R&R. You thinking what I’m thinking?” Jamie and Patrick nod at each other. “Dog show!” They shout simultaneously. That’s right! We’re watching the worst talking dog movie in years (and that’s saying something). It’s got everything! A talking dog, … and I’m not sure what else. This is this generation’s K-9 starring Jim Belushi! Let’s get into it!

Show Dogs (2018) – BMeTric: 41.4

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(Firstly, to open below 6.0 is already nuts. The early votes are always skewed super high because … well, probably because of people getting paid to trump up word of mouth. But then to be below 4.0! I’m actually shocked the BMeTric is so low. It has less than 3000 votes on IMDb so far! That is crazy.)

RogerEbert.com – 0.5 stars –  “Show Dogs” is essentially “Miss Congeniality” in the dog show world, and if that doesn’t sound like your cup of kibble, well … you’d be right. Even by the low standards of this type of live-action, family friendly comedy, “Show Dogs” is especially lame. It’s actually kind of amazing that it’s getting a theatrical release at all.

(Holy shit that review. I’m a bit shocked it didn’t get the whole thumbs down once you read it. I’m actually not entirely sure where the 0.5 comes from. There isn’t anything in the review (at all) which suggests this is anything but a complete and utter travesty. How very very very odd.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7H0fCTBdFQ

(Loving this is set explicitly in Las Vegas. That is great. There are so many bad films in Las Vegas. And wow … the review was right! This is literally just Miss Congeniality with dogs. And Miss Congeniality 2 was set in Las Vegas as well. Amazing.)

Directors – Raja Gosnell – (Known For: Never Been Kissed; Beverly Hills Chihuahua; Future BMT: Home Alone 3; Scooby-Doo; Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed; The Smurfs; The Smurfs 2; Yours, Mine & Ours; BMT: Big Momma’s House; Show Dogs; Notes: Was an editor for over twenty years on major pictures, then transitioned to director in 1997 and has only done children’s films since. This film was a mini-comeback of sorts, having not directed a film for five years prior.)

Writers – Max Botkin (written by) – (Known For: What Happened to Monday; BMT: Show Dogs; Notes: Started writing in television for the animated X-men and Wolverine show in the late 2000s. He’s sold a few scripts, but has nothing officially upcoming.)

Marc Hyman (written by) – (Known For: Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted; Osmosis Jones; Future BMT: The Perfect Score; Meet the Fockers; BMT: Show Dogs; Notes: Started his writing career with All That (!). He has a writing credit for the Da Brat episode which I vividly remember for some reason. Has been a script doctor for the most part.)

Actors – Will Arnett – (Known For: Teen Titans Go! To the Movies; Despicable Me; Ratatouille; Men in Black 3; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Blades of Glory; Grindhouse; Monsters vs. Aliens; Hot Rod; The Rocker; Ice Age 2: The Meltdown; Horton Hears a Who!; Wristcutters: A Love Story; Arrietty; Brief Interviews with Hideous Men; Spring Breakdown; The Great New Wonderful; Series 7: The Contenders; Future BMT: The Comebacks; G-Force; R.V.: Runaway Vacation; Monster-in-Law; The Brothers Solomon; Semi-Pro; The Nut Job; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows; The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature; Let’s Go to Prison; Southie; BMT: Jonah Hex; When in Rome; Show Dogs; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Notes: Most famous for the character of Gob on Arrested Development, he’s blown up since then. Was married to Amy Poehler for over ten years.)

Ludacris – (Known For: Fast & Furious 8; Fast & Furious 7; Crash; RocknRolla; No Strings Attached; Furious 6; Fast & Furious 5; Hustle & Flow; Future BMT: The Wash; Fred Claus; BMT: Max Payne; New Year’s Eve; Show Dogs; Gamer; 2 Fast 2 Furious; Notes: Rapper turned actor probably most notably in the Fast and the Furious franchise. Was dropped by Pepsi after a protest instigated by noted sexual harasser Bill O’Reilly. Pepsi sucks anyways.)

Natasha Lyonne – (Known For: American Pie; American Reunion; American Pie 2; Sleeping with Other People; A Futile and Stupid Gesture; Robots; Detroit Rock City; The Intervention; Hello, My Name Is Doris; Kate & Leopold; Slums of Beverly Hills; Heartburn; Everyone Says I Love You; G.B.F.; #Horror; Antibirth; The Grey Zone; 4:44 Last Day on Earth; He’s Way More Famous Than You; Zig Zag; Future BMT: Yoga Hosers; Scary Movie 2; Dennis the Menace; Krippendorf’s Tribe; Blade: Trinity; Girl Most Likely; Girlfriend’s Day; Jack Goes Home; Addicted to Fresno; Freeway II: Confessions of a Trickbaby; Party Monster; But I’m a Cheerleader; Flirting with Love; BMT: Show Dogs; Notes: She’s been acting forever basically, dropping out of Tisch at 17 and working since then. She might now be starting to become more famous for her role on Orange is the New Black.)

Budget/Gross – $5.5 million / Domestic: $17,857,020 (Worldwide: $39,106,642)

(Wow that budget. The budget is extremely reasonable and made even the extremely modest box office take a roaring success. Incredible stuff.)

#37 for the Dog genre

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(Marmaduke is the second highest Dog film by BMeTric (the 2006 Shaggy Dog is number one). I honestly think the giant gap is the period of time in which live animal wrangling became uncouth, and now we generally have the technology to avoid the more distasteful part of that business … and people love dogs.)

#34 for the Family – Talking Animal (Live action) genre

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(We’ve watched Garfield: The Movie, Marmaduke, Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties, and Hot to Trot this year alone! The top are naturally the Alvin movies. I stand by my analysis above, the technology has made talking animal films more practical.)

#14 on the Worst Openings – Super Saturated chart

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (10/60): Show Dogs may entertain very young viewers, but for anyone else, it threatens the cinematic equivalent of a rolled-up newspaper on the snout.

(No, stay away from the dog puns please. It is enough to just say that people who are older than ten will find the film unfunny and boring. Reviewer Highlight: Make a stand to Hollywood and vote with your wallet: We all deserve a better live-action talking-dog movie than this. – Peter Hartlaub, San Francisco Chronicle)

Poster – Sklog Dogs: Karate Dogz 4 Life (F)

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(Woof (Thank you). This is already a travesty on every count (including some super cliche bubble font, come on) but then they tilt it… why is this tilted!?!?!? Is that dog laying on a towel in Vegas? Why is any of this happening?)

Tagline(s) – Unleashed and Undercover (B+)

(Uhhh, I guess this is good. It’s hard to tell because my brain melted while trying to process that poster. I mean it’s short and kinda clever with a double meaning of unleashed and tells me a little about the film. It’s fine.)

Keyword(s) – dog movie; Top Ten by BMeTric: 77.7 Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008); 68.0 The Shaggy Dog (2006); 67.1 Marmaduke (2010); 67.0 Scooby-Doo (2002); 64.7 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010); 64.0 102 Dalmatians (2000); 63.6 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993); 63.3 Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004); 61.8 Cats & Dogs (2001); 60.9 Underdog (2007);

(Yeah see above, we haven’t seem many of them. We were going to do the Cats & Dogs sequel but it turned out Cheech Marin wasn’t in Cannonball Run. And we’ve always meant to do the Scooby Doo series, but we’ve never gotten around to it. Our previous ban of kids movies covers most of the rest.)

Notes – Filmed at Pinewood Studios in Cardiff, Wales. (In Wales! I’ve been watching an inordinate amount of Only Connect recently which is filmed in Cardiff as well).

One of the two credited screenwriters, Max Bodkin, claims that the film was heavily rewritten by the other credited writer Marc Hyman and 12 uncredited writers. (Just a little peek into just how many people seem to write Hollywood films)

American Humane monitored the animal action. No animals were harmed® .(AHD 07402) (Noice)

During the first scene at the dog show the chihuahua Chloe and her mate Papi from the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua get a short cameo, with Chloe (noticible by the same voice from the movie and same diamond necklace) having a quick line about talking dog movies not being mainstream anymore. (They aren’t. I actually don’t think they ever will be. I think there will be more of them, but the truly dire kids ones will just go straight to VOD).

C’mon now, we can’t forget the most important note of all! Show Dogs was accused of making light of sexual abuse and was re-edited while in theaters to remove the scene. This is why we should really just watch every bad movie in theaters the instant it comes out. Once that BMT money rolls in I plan to do just that.

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Marmaduke Preview

I actually did not mind watching our previous film The Women. Unfortunately that means we’ll inevitably turn around and do some film that’s a giant pile of dog poo in our face. Not looking like it’ll be any different here. For the Chain Reaction we are jumping from A Dog’s Purpose through it’s star Josh Gad straight into another dog-centric film. That’s right! We’re watching Marmaduke! What should have been a slam dunk success (what kid doesn’t like talking animals?) turned out to be a critical and financial train wreck (hooray?). In it Josh Gad played *squints at casting sheet* Bandana Dog… huh. Alrighty. This film is of course about the titular great dane from the old comic strip that essentially asks the question: what if you had a dog that might be just a little too big? Presumably big laughs as he gets into all kinds of zany situations… sigh. This is gonna be a tough one. Let’s go!

Marmaduke (2010) – BMeTric: 66.4

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(So sometimes it is hard to tell: is that regression to the mean? Or is it basically people who didn’t watch the movie shitting on it in 2010 and then forgetting about it (allowing people who have watched the film to give it a more appropriate 4/10 review)? A combination of both actually makes the most sense. With regression to the mean you aren’t regressing to the overall mean (although I sometimes use it that way). You are regressing to the film’s mean rating. The early reviewers might be more discriminatory (or more lax) than the general population, but eventually with enough votes it will get to where it is truly meant to be. This suggests the film is bad (a rating of 4 is objectively bad), but that it wasn’t nearly as bad as the initial reactions suggest (a rating of 2 is an all time bad film). Sounds innocuous to be honest, which doesn’t not bode well for the Bad Movie Twins.)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Fans of the long-running comic strip by Brad Anderson and Phil Leeming may be surprised to learn that Marmaduke, the humongous Great Dane who often tests the patience of this “two-legger” owners, speaks in a lazy hipster voice (supplied by Wilson) that suggests a California stoner. Unfortunately, that’s one of the very few novelties in this otherwise derivative, unimaginative comedy that relies heavily on the intermingling of human actors in thankless parts and CGI-tweaked live animals voices by familiar actors. Strictly kid stuff.

(Oh no, strictly kid stuff. I want to point out something: this is one of the longest reviews I’ve ever seen in a Leonard Maltin book. In other reviews they will insert abbreviations awkwardly, seemingly just to get them a character or two shorter. Why would Marmaduke be allowed this luxurious review length? No idea.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NerHJqENCvs

(Dance scene alert. That better be during a post-credits bloopie reel. Loving the music, loving the setting (California is basically a character), and loving the Black-Eyed Peas shout with Fergie getting ludicrously high billing. Everything about this suggests I will hate-love this film.)

Directors – Tom Dey – (Known For: Shanghai Noon; Future BMT: Showtime; BMT: Marmaduke; Failure to Launch; Notes: Interesting that he has almost nothing in the pipeline. Did a commercial reel which landed him at Ridley Scott’s production company, which lead to his (almost exclusively) directorial career.)

Writers – Tim Rasmussen and Vince Di Meglio (written by) – (Future BMT: Smother; BMT: Marmaduke; License to Wed; Notes: Interesting. They are writing partners it looks like. But Di Meglio is also a visual artist on a number of films including Miss Congeniality and Hansel & Gretel.)

Brad Anderson and Phil Leeming (comic) – (BMT: Marmaduke; Notes: Brad Anderson and Phil Leeming created the original strip. Anderson created it, and Leeming helped for the first ten or so years of its run.)

Actors – Owen Wilson – (Known For: Wonder; Cars 3; Wedding Crashers; The Grand Budapest Hotel; Cars; Inherent Vice; Midnight in Paris; Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb; The Royal Tenenbaums; Fantastic Mr. Fox; Zoolander; Night at the Museum; No Escape; The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou; Marley & Me; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; The Darjeeling Limited; The Cable Guy; Meet the Parents; She’s Funny That Way; Future BMT: Anaconda; Breakfast of Champions; I Spy; Little Fockers; How Do You Know; You, Me and Dupree; Are You Here; Drillbit Taylor; Masterminds; Hall Pass; Free Birds; Cars 2; Meet the Fockers; The Internship; Father Figures; Behind Enemy Lines; Armageddon; BMT: Zoolander 2; The Haunting; Marmaduke; Around the World in 80 Days; Notes: Y’all know Owen Wilson. Has had a working relationship with Wes Anderson throughout both of their careers. Shanghai Dawn with Jackie Chan is currently in the works.)

Judy Greer – (Known For: War for the Planet of the Apes; Jurassic World; Ant-Man; Dawn of the Planet of the Apes; The Village; Tomorrowland; 13 Going on 30; 27 Dresses; Love & Other Drugs; Our Souls at Night; The Descendants; Carrie; What Women Want; Three Kings; Wilson; Adaptation.; Lemon; Neko no ongaeshi; Grandma; All We Had; Future BMT: Cursed; The Wedding Planner; Jawbreaker; Love Happens; Kissing a Fool; Peep World; Elizabethtown; Addicted to Fresno; I Love Your Work; Entourage; The Amateurs; Men, Women & Children; BMT: Marmaduke; Playing for Keeps; Notes: If you saw her you’d recognize her, she is a well known comedic character actor. I know her best as Kitty from Arrested Development. She had her directorial debut, A Happening of Monumental Proportions, in early 2017.)

Lee Pace – (Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies; The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey; Lincoln; The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug; The Fall; The Good Shepherd; A Single Man; Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day; The Program; Infamous; The White Countess; Ceremony; Future BMT: The Resident; 30 Beats; The Book of Henry; BMT: Marmaduke; When in Rome; Notes: Maybe most well known for his television work, including the lead in Pushing Daisies. He was a dwarf in The Hobbit franchise, and owns a farm.)

Budget/Gross – $50 million / Domestic: $33,644,788 (Worldwide: $83,761,844)

(I wouldn’t say it is a bomb, but they would have wanted to crack $100 I think. Especially considering how well the Chipmunk franchise was doing around this time. These things are so easy to make I can kind of understand why you just dump it and move onto the next one honestly.)

#26 for the Dog genre

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(I’m going to field a guess here: I think the basically seven year gap in Dog movies after 2010 was partially a reaction to Marmaduke and Beverly Hills Chihuahua, partially that films like those ended up going direct-to-VOD after 2010, and partially because big kids’ films started just using cheap animation instead of animals at the time. Fascinating stuff. And A Dog’s Purpose was the first Dog movie we watched for BMT as far as I can tell. And I love dogs.)

#28 for the Family – Talking Animal (Live action) genre

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(Hot to Trot was also our firsts. 2017 really was a year of firsts for BMT. This came right at the peak, like the tippy top before the fall. Again, I think it is because talking animal movies are released to VOD now. Why would you bother going to a theater to watch Garfield 5 when the kids are going to be distracted anyways and your house is quiet and comfortable? Kind of inevitable that big releases like this would eventually die off, not really worth it.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 9% (9/100): Dull and unfunny, Marmaduke offers family filmgoers little more than another round of talking animals and scatological humor.

(Brutalized. Yeah, this is kind of why we shy away from the family friendly affairs here at the BMT Media Empire HQ. Dull, unfunny, kid humor. Almost never a rewarding combination. I’m kind of loving the very matter of fact Reviewer Highlight: Lines like “Get your bark on,” “Who let the dogs out?” and “Cowabarka” abound. Many of the jokes revolve around excretory functions. – Michael O’Sullivan, The Washington Post)

Poster – Marmasklog (F)

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(I do not like the contrasting blue and red colors there. Jarring and frankly ugly. And don’t pretend Marmaduke is too big for the title to be on the poster, you are just depriving people like me from seeing what garbage font the graphical design intern painstakingly chose during their lunchbreak. No one called him “the Duke”, everything about this makes me angry actually.)

Tagline(s) – Live Large (C-)

(We get it: Marmaduke is a big dog. Then again, wasn’t that the point of the comic strip? Wasn’t it just about a dog that was just too big for the house and family to deal with? So … fine I’ll bump it up to a passing grade … barely.)

Keyword(s) – great dane; Top Ten by BMeTric: 66.8 Scooby-Doo (2002); 66.4 Marmaduke (2010); 62.9 Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004); 33.6 The Other Woman (2014); 32.2 Good Boy! (2003); 29.6 Committed (I) (2000); 24.0 Teenage Cave Man (1958); 16.8 The Heat (I) (2013); 13.3 Oliver & Company (1988); 10.8 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001);

(Huh … well a lot of those don’t qualify, but still a little nuts this is the first Great Dane film we’ve seen. The Scooby-Doos have to happen because they are on the Calendar though.)

Notes – The film has the distinction of featuring two dog farts, three urine gags, two hits to the groin, one animal belch, two record scratch moments and two uses of the phrase “Who let the dogs out?” (This IMDb user is doing the Lord’s work)

Twin dogs were used for the titular character. (Twin film!!!)

Ron Perlman was originally cast as the voice of Chupadogra, but for unknown reasons, Sam Elliott took over the role.

Amanda Seyfried was the first choice for Mazie.

In the original comics, Marmaduke never talked. (uuuuuuugh)

In 2010, George Lopez, who does the voice of Carlos, the cat, was accused of being extremely rude to a fan and refusing to take a picture with her. The fan turned out to be a Mexican radio show personality and she had taken the incident to live radio.Mexican radio show personality, La Vozalona (Marlene Quinto), as part of the Mexican radio show, “El Show de Don Cheto”, said that she had met George Lopez at a Cuban restaurant. When she saw that he had finished eating and was on his way out, she approached him near the exit of the restaurant. While he was taking a picture with a fan, she had asked to take a picture with him, to which she said he became very rude and disrespectful. She had to wait and was told that “even Mexicans have manners and say please”. Confused, La Vozalona said she told Lopez she was a big fan and one of his many followers on Twitter. In response, Lopez told her to shut up and take the picture. La Vozalona said she told Lopez to stop being rude or else she would “burn” him on talk radio. He responded with a, “What, you think I care?”.This was very surprising for many and many considered Lopez a big hypocrite for the incident, considering he had also been criticizing and ridiculing _CHiPs (1977)_ star ‘Erik Estrada’ for many years. This prior incident, like his most recent, was for not shaking his hand and refusing to sign an autograph, while Estrada filmed an episode of CHiPs near Lopez’s neighborhood. (Do I leave this in the preview? It seems so crazy that this long-winded story is on the Marmaduke page, … like it has nothing to do with Marmaduke. Why is it here? It is just so crazy I can’t stop thinking about it … I hope it gives someone else as much confusion-joy)

Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (George Lopez)

A Dog’s Purpose Preview

Alright, well for all our faithful fans who were worried about the treacherous route we took through the Chain Reaction this year this is the main event. Last cycle we sunk all the way back to 1983 for Jaws 3-D and now we pop back 34 years later to the Dennis Quaid sad-fest A Dog’s Purpose. Probably not at the front of everyone’s mind when it comes to 2017 BMT films, but it is a qualifier and set us up nicely for next year’s chain. It also was for a brief time the most hated film in America when it was alleged that the film engaged in animal cruelty on set. This was ultimately proved incorrect, but it was enough to get the US premiere cancelled. Then everyone forgot about it. I cannot wait to bawl my eyes out watching a dog die over and over again. Sound like a blast. Let’s go!

A Dog’s Purpose (2017) – BMeTric: 9.9

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(I straight up have never seen anything like this before. You can even see that the rating started at literally 1.0, everyone gave it a one. There were actually several days in which the rating was 1.0, but then they shut the page down again because people were piling on (I assume). It then makes its long slow trek to 7.0! This could be the highest rated film we’ve ever done (it isn’t, but it is darn close). Truly bizarre.)

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars –  This movie has its moments—no movie with such an adorable array of pooches could not, plus Mr. Quaid, who in addition to being movie-star handsome is also a pretty good actor, sells his fifteen or so onscreen minutes. But the tonal weirdness and the philosophical fallacies and the general level of treacle did not sit very well with me. Then again, I have to admit I’m really more of a cat person

(The reviews for this film as obviously off because they were made literally days … weeks? after the abuse scandal broke. There is a question of whether any abuse happened in the end. But I’m sure I’ll have the same reaction: a little sickly sweet, but overall okay … if I didn’t have my doubts about the intentions of the film. I am much more of a dog person though, so …)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jLOOCADTGs

(I just got diabetes from that trailer. Sickly sweet. And I know I’m going to cry too. I’m not going to like this one at all.)

Directors – Lasse Hallström – (Known For: Hachi: A Dog’s Tale; What’s Eating Gilbert Grape; Chocolat; The Hundred-Foot Journey; Casanova; The Cider House Rules; Salmon Fishing in the Yemen; An Unfinished Life; The Shipping News; My Life as a Dog; The Hoax; Once Around; Future BMT: Something to Talk About; Dear John; BMT: Safe Haven; A Dog’s Purpose; Notes: Swedish. Was nominated for Best Director in 1988, notable as the first time the Best Director category was all non-Americans.)

Writers – W. Bruce Cameron (screenplay & based on the novel by) – (BMT: A Dog’s Purpose; Notes: The writer of the original book. He is in the process of adapting the sequel as well, A Dog’s Way Home.)

Cathryn Michon (screenplay) – (BMT: A Dog’s Purpose; Notes: Has been working with Cameron for his last few movies (Cook Off! and Muffin Top: A Musical). Prior to that she worked mostly on television, so possibly she met him when he worked on 8 Simple Rules.)

Audrey Wells (screenplay) – (Known For: Under the Tuscan Sun; George of the Jungle; The Kid; Shall We Dance; The Truth About Cats & Dogs; Guinevere; Future BMT: The Game Plan; BMT: A Dog’s Purpose; Notes: Seems to be a Kids’ Film and Romantic Comedy writer. She also directed Under the Tuscan Sun, which was her only major directorial effort.)

Maya Forbes and Wallace Wolodarsky (screenplay) – (Known For: Monsters vs. Aliens; Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days; Infinitely Polar Bear; The Rocker; The Polka King; Future BMT: Seeing Other People; BMT: A Dog’s Purpose; Notes: You knew there had to be a writing team when there are five writers attached. Wolodarsky producer and wrote for the Simpsons. Forbes produced and wrote for The Larry Sanders Show.)

Actors – Josh Gad – (Known For: Murder on the Orient Express; Beauty and the Beast; Frozen; Marshall; Angry Birds; Love & Other Drugs; Thanks for Sharing; The Rocker; Wish I Was Here; Future BMT: Marmaduke; The Internship; Ice Age: Continental Drift; 21; Crossing Over; BMT: Pixels; Jobs; The Wedding Ringer; A Dog’s Purpose; Razzie Notes: Nominated for Worst Supporting Actor in 2016 for Pixels, and The Wedding Ringer; Notes: Probably in the news recently because of the 25 minute long “short” starring Olaf the snowman that was playing in front of Coco. Also was the star of The Book of Mormon in its original Broadway run in 2011.)

Dennis Quaid – (Known For: The Parent Trap; The Day After Tomorrow; Stripes; The Right Stuff; Traffic; Footloose; The Rookie; Innerspace; Any Given Sunday; Soul Surfer; DragonHeart; Wyatt Earp; Frequency; Enemy Mine; Breaking Away; Dreamscape; Truth; Far from Heaven; Postcards from the Edge; Suspect; Future BMT: Legion; Cold Creek Manor; Yours, Mine & Ours; Beneath the Darkness; G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra; Horsemen; Something to Talk About; Flight of the Phoenix; The Alamo; Caveman; Undercover Blues; Vantage Point; Switchback; Wilder Napalm; Pandorum; All Night Long; BMT: Jaws 3-D; Movie 43; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Playing for Keeps; A Dog’s Purpose; Notes: Has a band called The Sharks, is a five-handicap golfer, and has a pilot’s license. This video makes his band seem … well, I’m sure they have their fans.)

Peggy Lipton – (Known For: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me; I’m Gonna Git You Sucka; True Identity; Future BMT: The Postman; Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects; BMT: When in Rome; A Dog’s Purpose; Notes: She was in the original and recent revival of Twin Peaks. Is the mother of Rashida Jones as well, who played Ann Perkins in Parks and Recreation.)

Budget/Gross – $22 million / Domestic: $64,321,890 (Worldwide: $196,200,124)

(Despite the controversy this was a giant success … how strange. For whatever reason I thought this completely bombed after it was torn apart for allegedly abusing dogs. It is weird to think that this would have been a much bigger deal only a year later. It this happened now this shit wouldn’t have even made it to theaters I think.)

#18 for the Controversy genre

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(There were a few from this year here as well, the funniest being The Great Wall for “white-washing”. Controversy films make a chunk of change it turns out. I don’t want to say “outrage culture”, but they’ve gotten a lot more popular since 2000 … just saying.)

#12 for the Dog genre

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(Everyone loves doggies! Well … they like them less since 2010 it seems. Do you know which dog movie came out in 2010? That’s right, Marmaduke. Coincidence? Yuuuuuuup. Anyways, this comes in around 102 Dalmatians, which kind of tells you all you need to know.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 33% (43/130): A Dog’s Purpose offers an awkward blend of sugary sentiment and canine suffering that tugs at animal-loving audiences’ heartstrings with shameless abandon.

(I will almost certainly be crying during this film. If not, then it has failed because I’m a softy. Hopefully it won’t pull at my heartstrings any harder than Bing Bong did in Inside Out… I might melt.)

Poster – A Sklog’s Purpose (B+)

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(Obviously great color and unique framing. Terrible font. Really bad choice. But otherwise I like what they decided to do here. Tells me everything I need to know.)

Tagline(s) – Every dog happens for a reason. (C+)

(Every dog happens… every dog… happens. Huh, that is really not rolling off the tongue. It’s short and gets at the idea of the film, but not super clever and weird phrasing. It seems like they should have been able to do better.)

Keyword(s) – reincarnation; Top Ten by BMeTric: 87.4 The Last Airbender (2010); 80.5 Dragon Wars (2007); 65.1 The Haunted Mansion (2003); 58.6 Jupiter Ascending (2015); 57.3 Little Nicky (2000); 54.0 The Return (I) (2006); 52.9 Lost Souls (2000); 51.4 Jack Frost (1998); 51.3 Tank Girl (1995); 50.3 Mannequin: On the Move (1991);

(Give me a little Fluuuuuuke … wait? No Fluke? I guess not that many people watched Fluke. Fair, but I think the story will have some passing similarities, so I’m still glad I watched Fluuuuuuke.)

Notes – Prior to theatrical release, controversy arose when behind-the-scenes footage surfaced and appeared to show a distressed dog being forcibly submerged into turbulent pool water during filming. As a result of the leaked footage, the filmmakers chose to cancel the U.S. premiere. However, it was announced on February 4, 2017 by the American Humane Association that the footage was misleadingly edited and no abuse had taken place. (I totally forgot about that. Wow.)

Bradley Cooper was originally slated to provide the voice of the titular dog; however, he was ultimately replaced with Josh Gad. (I love this fact. Would it have been the same script?… seems like wildly different choices).

The Maya segment of the film differs from the events in the book. In the book, Maya is a K9 officer who takes over handling Ellie after her first handler Jakob (Carlos in the film) is shot and injured by a kidnapper. In the movie, it is Ellie who is shot – fatally – by the kidnapper, then reincarnated as Tino the Corgi and adopted by Maya, a college student. (Damn, I forgot this was based on a book. I don’t think either of us will end up reading it. Are we losing our edge?).

Dennis Quaid plays adult Ethan, who was once starting quarterback with a full scholarship but was injured. In Everybody’s All-American (1988), Quaid played a star high school quarterback no longer playing. In Any Given Sunday (1999) he played a quarterback past his prime trying to relive his days. (We get it, Dennis Quaid. You love sports).

Air Bud: Golden Receiver Preview

There are a number of Bring a Friend films that we really went out of our way to accommodate. This week is one of those. When it came to the category of Kids films we really wanted to watch something that was a major release, but we would never ever ever ever watch. Not something like Son of Mask, Marmaduke, or the recently watched Baby Geniuses films, where they transcend the “Never Watch Kids Films” BMT rule, but rather a run-of-the-will children’s film that happened to be terrible. So you know what that means. That’s right! We’re watching Clan of the Cave BeAir Bud: Golden Receiver! There is literally a 0% chance that we would have ever watch Air Bud 2. Wouldn’t have happened without Bring a Friend. The same could almost be said about the BMT film that brought it along. Clan of the Cave Bear is a 1986 adaptation of a 1980 historical fiction book set in the Paleolithic era. I has come up before for BMT, but more seriously as an entry for a book-to-film cycle, since the book was a worldwide success and spawned five sequels. I’ve always been curious to read it and now’s my chance. The film ended up being a gigantic box office flop, so hopefully it can live down to that hype. Let’s go!

Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998) – BMeTric: 44.8

AirBudGoldenReceiver_BMeT

AirBudGoldenReceiver_RV

(This really really has that 2011 inflection, although not very many votes at all. And I’ve never seen that U-shape before on the rating, at least not so far after the release. Why it goes down from 2004 to 2007 is beyond me, a true mystery. I smell a little forensic research perhaps: Why did the IMDb rating for Air Bud 2 drop to 4.0 in 2007?!)

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars –  Title canine catches pigskins rather than shoots hoops. He and his young owner (Zegers, the lone cast member from the original) join the school football team – plus, a pair of Boris and Natasha-like villains plot to abduct the pooch for their traveling circus. Predictable but harmless fun. Followed by several direct-to-video sequels.

(Predictable but harmless fun, the reason why the Bad Movie Twins no longer watch kids’ films (until now!). I’m sure this will be a non-stop thrill ride … given that the film has a sub-5 on IMDb it is kind of weird Leonard gives it such a break. It is no doubt a stone cold terrible film.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBFhdl17YJ0

(Probably the most incredible use of Tubthumping I’ve ever seen. And honestly, the director probably regretted having the kid call the dog the “new wide receptor” instead of the new wide receiver. Seems like just a dumb error instead of a dumb joke. The whole trailer kind of blows my mind honestly.)

Directors – Richard Martin – (BMT: Air Bud: Golden Receiver; Notes: An experimental filmmaker, he is the son of Dick Martin who was a comedian in the 60s appearing on things like Match Game.)

Writers – Kevin DiCicco (character “Air Bud”) – (Known For: Air Bud; BMT: Air Bud: Golden Receiver; Notes: Air Bud’s trainer, who found him as a stray and trained him in a variety of sports. He made a franchise out of the character of Air Buddy he created which featured on America’s Funniest Home Videos initially.)

Paul Tamasy (characters & written by) – (Known For: Patriots Day; The Finest Hours; The Fighter; Air Bud; BMT: Air Bud: Golden Receiver; Notes: Despite being nominated for an academy award for The Fighter, there is very little information about this guy. Air Bud was his first gig, so likely just something he did to break into Hollywood.)

Aaron Mendelsohn (characters & written by) – (Known For: Air Bud; BMT: Air Bud: Golden Receiver; Notes: Born in Alaska, he has been heavily involved with the Writer’s Guild over the past ten years.)

Actors – Kevin Zegers – (Known For: Aftermath; Wrong Turn; Dawn of the Dead; In the Mouth of Madness; Frozen; It’s a Boy Girl Thing; The Jane Austen Book Club; Air Bud; Transamerica; Gardens of the Night; Fifty Dead Men Walking; The Stone Angel; Future BMT: Zoom; The Colony; The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones; MVP: Most Valuable Primate; Life with Mikey; The Curse of Downers Grove; BMT: Air Bud: Golden Receiver; Notes: I don’t know how this guy survived being a child actor starring in four Air Bud films and MVP: Most Valuable Primate. But he has had an impressive recent career on television including an extended stint on Gossip Girl.)

Cynthia Stevenson – (Known For: Jennifer’s Body; Happiness; The Player; Home for the Holidays; Forget Paris; Tiger Eyes; Future BMT: Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London; Agent Cody Banks; Case 39; Full of It; Live Nude Girls; BMT: I Love You, Beth Cooper; Air Bud: Golden Receiver; Notes: She did six Air Bud movies! She’s been all over television and movies for years. The Air Bud movies make sense considering they are show in Canada and both her and Zegers are in fact Canadian.)

Tim Conway – (Known For: The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water; The Apple Dumpling Gang; The Shaggy D.A.; The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again; Future BMT: Speed 2: Cruise Control; Cannonball Run II; Dear God; BMT: Air Bud: Golden Receiver; Notes: He got third billed? He’s the announcer for the final State Championship game at the end so …)

Budget/Gross – $11 million / Domestic: $10,224,116

(Not great. Why does an Air Bud movie cost $11 million to make I wonder? These small mysteries surround this film. Probably made mad cash on DVD purchases and rentals though, that is a shockingly large amount of money, especially in 1998.)

#42 for the Dog genre

airbud2_dog

(Not too far ahead of Fluke … not a good look. What I see from this graph is that everyone loves dogs. I kind of love this plot because there is almost a specific trough when Air Bud 2 is released. As if the American people collectively said: No, unacceptable.)

#36 for the Family – Animal (Live action) genre

airbud2_animal

(Below Monkey Trouble which isn’t a great look. I would have guessed Babe was the start to the big 90s boom, but I actually think it is Beethoven, Homeward Bound and Free Willy in ‘92/’93. I have other more unfounded theories about the genre in general, specifically that this was when home video took off and family focused entertainment became a big deal, and animal training was still super cheap.)

#30 for the Sports – Football genre

airbud2_football

(Below Little Giants which isn’t a great look. Football films come in waves, although I couldn’t say why. Perhaps there is a natural rhythm to American audience’s tastes in sports films? Couldn’t say. Last big one was Concussion unfortunately (for the sport, I would assume interest overall is waning with a decline in general))

Rotten Tomatoes – 21% (6/29): No consensus yet.

(Let’s make one: A shadow of the original, this lazy sequel is predictable and poorly written, even if it is an innocuous family-focused affair. Some of those are from the time even, like Ebert’s, which is somewhat surprising.)

Poster – Sklog Bud: Golden Receiver (C-)

air_bud_golden_receiver_ver1

(The lower quality makes it a bit tough to judge, but I like the symmetry (even if it suggests, against all odds, that Buddy is the star center for the Timberwolves). Otherwise, just a bright colorful kids’ movie poster, what is there to say?)

Tagline(s) – Just dog it. (F)

(NOPE)

Keyword(s) – russian; Top Ten by BMeTric: 88.4 Street Fighter (1994); 86.2 Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987); 83.2 Rollerball (2002); 65.0 Fair Game (1995); 64.1 Tekken (2010); 61.4 Virus (1999); 59.3 xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017); 58.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015); 58.8 A Good Day to Die Hard (2013); 58.6 Jupiter Ascending (2015);

(Sadly we have basically already done Street Fighter outside of the scope of BMT. We did Legend of Chun Li (Hall of Fame inductee) in our first year and back then BMT was like the wild west. We weren’t reading books, doing homework, or anything! A true disaster. So we have both seen Street Fighter fairly recently, so it is unlikely to earn a spot in the rotation anytime soon. So many bad movies, so little time, you know?)

Notes – Six dogs played Bud.

Movie is in memory of “Buddy” who starred in “Air Bud” as a dog who played basketball.