Category: Comedy

Pixels Preview

Alright, so this week we moved on to one of the most anticipated BMTs of the year. It stars a BMT favorite in the lead role and will almost certainly be nominated in several Razzie categories (not that we respect the Razzies in any way, we’re just trying desperately to bring some legitimacy to an otherwise illegitimate award voting process). That’s right! We’re watching Pixels starring Adam Sandler! Avert your eyes. This might get ugly. Let’s go!

Pixels (2015) – BMeTric 37.9 (February 24, 2016)

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(Editor’s Note: Generated on February 24, 2016.The BMeTric trajectory and result is about what I would expect, pretty smooth, between 30 and 40. Above average bad movie, but probably too good all things considered. I expect it’ll stay around there).

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Oh, “Pixels” does have a couple of laughs scattered here and there, and the film as a whole is certainly better than such recent Sandler disasters as “That’s My Boy,” “Blended” and the truly inexplicable “The Cobbler,” but when one considers how good this material might have been if placed in the right hands, to see it squandered this way makes it almost more painful to view than the typical Sandler stinker.

(Funny that they specifically bring up The Cobbler. Both me and Patrick found the film mediocre and generally harmless. Basically seemed like people came in expecting something great because of the director and were appalled to find that it didn’t live up to that. Sounds like the same thing happened here. Gave Pixels a bad review just because the film didn’t live up to some preconceived lofty expectations. Maybe we’ll like it then… or at least not hate it. I didn’t hate The Cobbler after all. It was just blah with a bad ending.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diqZBS-RTAw

(I find it interesting to note how little of the plot you actually get from the trailer. Like… what do you actually know? There are video game aliens attacking and several people (Who? We don’t know) are tasked with defeating them. Why just them? Well, apparently they are the “only ones who can defeat them.” Oh… huh… why?)

Director(s) – Chris Columbus – (Known For: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets; Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone; Home Alone; Mrs. Doubtfire; Stepmom; Rent; Adventures in Babysitting; Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. BMT: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York; Bicentennial Man; Pixels; Nine Months; I Love You Beth Cooper. Notes: Born in Spangler, PA which is only 25 miles from Indiana, PA where we were born.)

Writer(s) – Tim Herlihy (screenplay, screen story) – (Known For: Big Daddy; Happy Gilmore; The Wedding Singer; Billy Madison. BMT: Just Go with It; The Waterboy; Mr. Deeds; Grown Ups 2; Little Nicky; Bedtime Stories; Pixels. Notes: Nominated for Worst Screenplay, Grown Ups 2 (2013), Little Nicky (2000), Big Daddy (1999). Could this year spell his first win?)

Timothy Dowling (screenplay) – (Known For: Role Models. BMT: Just Go with It; This Means War; Pixels. Notes: Brought in for the major rewrite of the film that took it from a more traditional Happy Madison production to a bigger, tentpole type film in the vein of Ghostbusters… or at least that’s what Variety told me.)

Patrick Jean also gets an official writing credit as the creator of the short film that it’s based on.

Actors – Adam Sandler – (Known For: 50 First Dates; Anger Management; Big Daddy; Happy Gilmore; Hotel Transylvania; The Wedding Singer; Punch-Drunk Love; Billy Madison; Funny People; Reign Over Me; Spanglish; Hotel Transylvania 2. BMT: Click; Grown Ups; Just Go with It; The Longest Yard; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; The Waterboy; Mr. Deeds; Grown Ups 2; Little Nicky; Blended; Bedtime Stories; That’s My Boy; Jack and Jill; Pixels; The Cobbler; Bulletproof; Airheads; Zookeeper; You Don’t Mess With the Zohan; Men Women & Children; Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights. Notes: Nominated for Worst Actor, Blended (2014), Grown Ups 2 (2013), I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007), Eight Crazy Nights/Mr. Deeds (2002), Little Nicky (2000), The Waterboy (1998), Bulletproof/Happy Gilmore (1996); Won for Worst Actor, That’s My Boy (2012), Jack and Jill/Just Go with It (2011), Big Daddy (1999); Won for Worst Actress, Jack and Jill (2011). BMT hall-of-famer.)

Also stars Peter Dinklage and Kevin James.

Budget/Gross: $88 million / $78,604,981 ($237,104,981 Worldwide)

(Per usual nothing can touch Sandler. You think this is a failure? Have you seen the box office grosses for real failures? Ever heard of a film called Pan? Now that’s a failure. This film essentially mimics the gross of the last Die Hard film which by all accounts was a decent performer for its studio. Everything about the articles being written about the demise of Sandler was bunk. He will never go away! He will always win! Even when he doesn’t win, he fucking wins.)

Rotten Tomatoes: 17% (27/155), Critics Consensus: Much like the worst arcade games from the era that inspired it, Pixels has little replay value and is hardly worth a quarter.

(Ugh, RT and your puns. You should be embarrassed. You just stretched this one out and it’s horrible. First of all, “replay value”? That doesn’t even really pertain to films. “Hardly worth a quarter”? What is this phrase? God you are terrible. Also a bit surprising that it got slightly better reviews than The Last Witch Hunter given the number of articles devoted to poking fun at Sandler about it.)

Poster – Pretty Pixelly Poster (A)

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(I have to hand it to them… it’s a very pretty poster. Simple, bright colors, and just looks pretty. I like it a lot.)

Tagline(s) – Play for the Planet (B-)

Game on (B)

(Both of these were used on official posters. There may have even been a third, but I just used these. Both are not great, but not as bad as you might think at first glance. The first one has some alliteration. The second one has a nice double entendre. Both give ideas of the film. Just missing a level of cleverness that isn’t there. Surprisingly good though.)

Notes – This is the ninth film or television series in which Kevin James and Adam Sandler have appeared together.

Jennifer Aniston turned down the female lead role.

This film is based on a 2010 short film by French director Patrick Jean and distributed by One More Productions.

Fiona Shaw plays the British Prime Minister. This is the second time she has appeared in a video game related movie. She also played Lena in Super Mario Bros. (1993).

Contrary to many of his other films, Sean Bean survives the entire movie.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 Recap

Jamie

Oh Happy Madison, you keep us in business (other than the upcoming hit The Do Over, obviously). At this point it’s a bit hit or miss whether I’m going to merely dislike a Happy Madison film or if I will become enraged and full of hate, not only for the film but for myself at having watched it. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2? Somewhere in the middle. Perhaps I was in a good mood, but I didn’t think this really dipped down into the Strange Wilderness/Grown Ups arena, where everyone just lobs half-hearted, mean-spirited jabs at each other, takes their $5 million, and heads home. It also wasn’t quite in the arena of Benchwarmers and Bucky Larson, where you’re not totally sure you haven’t entered some bizarre alternate dimension where the concept of comedy has been turned on its ear. No, this was just a middling feature, kind of like Zookeeper or Blended. Nothing that offended my sensibilities (and that’s good!).

To me the whole Paul Blart genre is an old fashioned one. The plots are pretty much straight out of an Ernest P. Worrell feature or a Three Ninjas straight-to-DVD romp. Oh no! A bunch of BMX riding baddies have taken over a mall! Get Paul Blart on the case. Oh no! A bunch of art thieves have taken down a casino. If only Paul Blart and a bunch of other Mall Cops were here to save the day. All the while his daughter is teeny-boppin’ and MacGyvering her way in and out of jams. It’s essentially a kids film. And if you think real, real hard about it almost all of Happy Madison’s productions are just that: kids films. Blended, Grown Ups, Paul Blart, Zookeeper, Jack and Jill, etc. are essentially kids films. They have a big goofy clown up front to make the kids laugh. Animals fight humans constantly (they may as well be talking). The plots are paper thin nonsense. All conflict is contrived. Kids are often the center of the real romantic story line. These are children’s films. And yet here we are, years after swearing off kids films for BMT, going back to the well over and over as if Sandler is doing anything other than create children’s films disguised as films for adults. That’s how he makes his money. No wonder he makes a film targeted more for adults (Pixels) only to have it straight bomb at the box office.

And I don’t think realizing that these movies are kids films (or maybe more accurately family films… maybe) changes anything. It’s basically a matter of Poe’s law. A satire where you can’t tell it’s a satire is a bad satire. A kids film where you can’t tell it’s a kids film is a bad kids film. People looking for an adult film will be offended and people looking for a kids film will be offended. And that, my friends, is how Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 gets a 5% on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh, and also it’s trash.

Moving on, I knew that Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 would have a solid MonoSklog cause you saw from the trailer that he gives a lengthy speech, but I also felt like I’ve been copping out and doing MonoSklogs too many times lately. Don’t worry, I’ll whip it out for a down week. Instead I have a new game! I call it On the Bright Side and it’s where I tried to find a scene in the movie that I actually liked or laughed at loud at. There were a few funny moments: Neal McDonough’s two different colored eyes, Paul Blart punching a maid, and a piano player super into playing the piano for example. But the winner for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2’s On the Bright Side scene involves a super black banana and it goes a little something… like… this:

That was pretty disgusting, but I still chuckled at it. It’s just so black.

Patrick

‘Ello everyone. Paul Blart Mall Cop 2?! Nuff said. Not even going to go for the low hanging fruit (… Paul Fart Mall Crap in case anyone was wondering. Always sophisticated stuff). This movie was an enigma of a riddle. Is it horrible? Is it kind of funny? Do I hate myself for watching this? Is my brain melting and dripping out of my nose? Impossible to tell. Let’s get into it:

  • There is a veritable spectrum of Happy Madison productions. You have the higher quality Sandler vehicles. Then the slightly less-so James vehicles. A bit further down you have the scraps that Spade and Schneider pick up. Then really far down are things like Bucky Larson and Strange Wilderness. This is like Blended: innocuous enough, but giant portions of it are just contrived nonsense. In Blended it was a ridiculous ostrich ride. Here is was …
  • Segway riding, an unnecessary (and awful) battle sequence and a long sequences of security guards trying out various non-lethal weapons. None are great. You see, it is like a Sandler led film except more so. Got to kick it up a bit to account for a smaller lead.
  • The beginning is dark. His wife divorces him after six days and then his mother dies. He is launched into a horrible six year struggle with depression (which he continues to deal with throughout the films shockingly frequent “real talk” segments). Just really really sad stuff.
  • And a bunch of the jokes are, unfortunately, the not-great jokes from Paul Blart (just bigger and better because Vegas. Fuck yeah!). Decidedly less funny than the already dire original.
  • On a lighter note: Could not be more set in Vegas. They really went to town with the Wynn. Good for them.
  • And Neal McDonough kind of kills it. At the very least he certainly knows what kind of movie he is in, and it is actually a pretty great skewing of the classic too-cool-for-school heist movie bad guy. “I have two different colored eyes! That tells you all about how I live my life!” is one of his lines and a rare laugh-out-loud moment for me during the film.

I’m thinking Prequel because I need more Neal “BMT Legend” McDonough in my life. Straight action movie with him as the bad guy. He’s setting up for a heist and Swordfish style a young hotshot hacker (played by Nick Swardson … “young”) is brought in to help him out (but he’s a secret CIA agent). As things go awry, Swardson is called on to go beyond the call of duty and stop McDonough. In the end McDonough kills Swardson, gets away, and everyone just looks shocked for a bit. Fade to black and then smash cut to a trailer for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 Preview

Continuing with our final mapl.de.map cycle, I told you that we had a extra space to include a replacement film for a state we weren’t totally satisfied with. Well New Years come early (we both independently used this phrase before I incorporated Patrick’s part. Best twins ever!), cause the time is now to watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, which very much takes place in Las Vegas. Previously we had a little Razzie film called The Marrying Man in for Nevada. Not only was that film not that BMT, but it also split time pretty evenly between Las Vegas and California. We never felt like it belonged, so now we replace it with one of the worst reviewed films of the year. Here’s the map. I’m pretty excited for this one. Let’s go!

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) – BMeTric: 66.4 (November 19, 2016)

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(Regression to the mean (from an incredibly low rating to be honest, that is really low, so it isn’t surprising that people who actually watched the film disagreed with what is probably a significant number of people who are voting based solely on impression) is strong. The what I think will become standard 25-75 split in theatrical-VOD votes within a year of release. I’m going to be frank: I am surprised it doesn’t have more votes on IMDb, a crap comedy people can relax and watch with the family I feel like usually has more than that. The BMeTric thogh. Whoooooooweeeeee, that is impressive. Commentary written on November 19, 2016)

RogerEbert.com – Thumbs Down – Think of the worst movie you’ve ever seen – a movie that didn’t make you laugh, didn’t make you cry, didn’t move you or change you in any way besides giving you the desperate urge to flee the theater. Think of a movie that was a massive waste of your time and money. Hold that title in your mind. “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” is worse than that.

(I seriously doubt this will be the worst film I have ever seen. If this is worse than Strange Wilderness then it will take another small part of my soul and leave me just a bit less human. But I doubt it. Perhaps I doubt because I’m afraid to believe it might be true. Or perhaps I just know that no one will be fucking a turkey in this one. Either way I think this may be hyperbole.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_ld3IJ0sUU

(Well that is unfortunate on multiple levels. It does have a plot, though, so it’s got a bit of a leg up on the “worst ever” competition.)

Director(s) – Andy Fickman – (Known For: She’s the Man; Race to Witch Mountain; Reefer Madness. BMT: The Game Plan; You Again; Parental Guidance; Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Notes: Surprisingly never nominated for a Razzie. This will certainly be the year.)

Writer(s) – Kevin James – (BMT: Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Here Comes the Boom; Zookeeper; Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Notes: Nominated for Worst Supporting Actor and Onscreen Couple for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.)

Nick Bakay (written by, characters) – (BMT: Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Zookeeper; Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Notes: You would recognize him as the voice of the black cat Salem on Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.)

Actors – Kevin James – (Known For: Hitch; Hotel Transylvania; Monster House; 50 First Dates; BMT: Grown Ups 2; Grown Ups; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Here Comes the Boom; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Zookeeper; The Dilemma; Barnyard; Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; Pixels. Notes: Starred in the long running sitcom King of Queens for which he was nominated for an Emmy for the final season.)

also stars Raini Rodriguez and BMT super fav Neal McDonough

Budget/Gross: $30 million / $71,038,190 ($104,138,190 Worldwide)

(Big success, but not on the same level as the first one which was a box office smash. The 9th highest grossing “Comedy – Bumbling” ever. The worst ever? Ernest Rides Again. The last Ernest film ever released to theaters.)

#9 for the Comedy – Bumbling genre

bumblingcomedy_9

(Wow, turns out Paul Blart is a rare bumbling comedy these days. Out of fashion I imagine. People making fools of themselves will always in one way be comedy gold. The number one bumbling comedy? Paul Blart! Kevin James did hit something solid here, the company for both films are classics from the 80’s and mostly spoof, so even getting an original comedy and character in there seems really impressive.)

#42 for the Sequel – Live Action genre: The second movie in a live action comedy franchise

comedysequel_42

(Around Scary Movie 2 and Big Momma’s House 2 so in okay company. We are almost definitely looking towards a bust period of comedy sequels. Feels right … can you think of a comedy film that has come out recently that will end up with a sequel within the next few years? I can’t really. For Cheaper by the Dozen 2 I did note Zoolander 2 and Neighbors 2 from this year. Bad Santa 2 soon. The relative failures of all of those might usher in a wave a original concepts. Maybe. Commentary written on November 11, 2016)

#7 for the Travelogue Las Vegas genre: Films primarily set in or around Las Vegas

lasvegas_7

(Not very exciting, although kind of funny that even this seems to run in waves. Big chunk up to 2010ish, then a break, and then a bunch more recently. I wonder if it vaguely tracks with the highs and lows of the economy in Vegas. If they are busy they can’t film. Otherwise they’ll sell filming rights to get a little extra scratch)

Rotten Tomatoes: 5% (3/54), Critics Consensus: Bathed in flop sweat and bereft of purpose, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 strings together fat-shaming humor and Segway sight gags with uniformly unfunny results.

(Will certainly be one of the worst reviewed films of the year. Interesting that they say there is “fat-shaming” humor in this one. I don’t remember there being too much of it in the first one and it’s the same writers. It’s not like Norbit where a big fat lady is a horrible monster.)

Poster – Paul Sklogt: Mall Sklog 2 (B-)

paul_blart_mall_cop_two

(I have to admit I like the coloring. Not sure on the spacing, though. Really odd and open. And why is he riding away from Las Vegas? While posters don’t have to tell stories, they can’t be nonsensical either. I take this stuff pretty seriously.)

Tagline(s) – Vegas has a new high roller (A-)

The stakes have been raised (B)

(Crazy enough the first tagline is pretty much everything I ask for in a tagline. It is short. It tells me that my favorite segway riding hero is back and in Vegas. And it is a bit clever with the connection of high roller with the setting. Not perfect, but close. The second one is slightly worse, because it isn’t as informative and a bit generic. But still good. Good job, advertising team.)

Keyword(s) – sequel; Top Ten by BMeTric: 92.7 Batman & Robin (1997); 84.6 Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997); 83.7 Scary Movie 5 (2013); 82.6 Son of the Mask (2005); 81.7 Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011); 80.5 Home Alone 3 (1997); 80.5 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009); 78.9 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997); 78.7 Jaws: The Revenge (1987); 78.5 The Avengers (1998);

(We’ve seen a ton of these natch. A couple notes: The Avengers is not a sequel, that is a mistake, for shame IMDb. A reboot at best, although if there was an original film I would doubt it was theatrical anyways. Home Alone 3 is also obviously barely a movie. We will watch Son of Mask and Jaws 4 though, so maybe someday …)

Notes – Jayma Mays couldn’t reprise her role due to scheduling conflicts with Glee (So they had her divorce Paul Blart 6 days after they got married… strangely this strategy was also employed for the Entourage movie).

This is the first film that got access to film on site at the Wynn Resort (wait, but other commercials for the Wynn were also filmed there. This one is just longer).

Kevin James had personally called up Vic Dibitetto, with a private number listed, to play Gino Chizetti. James had told Dibitetto that he was so entertained by his YouTube videos that he created the character based on his viral work (I like how they specify that it was a private number. Just to emphasize that Kevin James went to Xtremes on this one).

Gary Valentine appeared as a different character in this film then he did in the first film. He played Saul Gundermutt in this film, in the first one he played the singer in the bar. (it’s weird they also don’t mention that Adam Sandler’s wife played two different characters. She was the Victoria Secret cashier in the first one and a woman in a bar in the second one).

Paul Blart: Mall Cop Preview

[Editor’s Note: This template was generated on November 19, 2016 as this film was watched as a bonus film and did not get a preview at the time. For completeness we wanted to generate it as it is a qualifying BMT film. Enjoy!]

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) – BMeTric: 57.9

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paulblartmallcop_rv

(Fun. Pretty standard BMeTric and Vote plots. But the rating is interesting. Regression to the mean would be going the other way (up not down) since the mean is around 6.0. I believe this has to do with the reputation of Paul Blart getting a bit bemirched over time. At the time I remember it being hailed a bit as better than the reviews wouuld suggest. I doubt you’d find many people with that opinion these days.)

RogerEbert.com – 3 stars –  Paul Blart emerges as a hero, and something else: Kevin James illustrates how lighting and camera angles can affect our perception of an actor. In the early scenes, he’s a fat schlub, but after he goes into action, the camera lowers subtly, the lighting changes, and suddenly he’s a good-looking action hero, ready for business. He demonstrates what fat men have been secretly believed for a long time.

(Wowzer, a rave review. It really does go like that throughout: wholsome, but not boring. Empowering. Funny. Impressive. But I have a feeling this is a rosy view and the ludicrouus story and awkward non-jokes are going to get in the way of most people enjoying this film in a genuine way.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib4VZ1uvP6U

(Three major thoughts. One, loving the BMX bike gang and parkour. That just never gets old does it? Two, they are seriosly going to do that … they gave away the “twist” in the trailer! You can see one of the security guards hanging with the bad guys on several occasions. Insane. Three, if you knocked the top off of a tank of compressed gas it would go through walls … so basically it wold jst blow that guy it hit to literal pieces. Paul Blart is a monster.)

Directors – Steve Carr – (Known For: Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life; Dr. Dolittle 2; BMT: Movie 43; Are We Done Yet?; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Daddy Day Care; Rebound; Next Friday; Notes:  Won the Razzie Award in 2014 for Worst Director for Movie 43 (among many others); Got hired to direct Next Friday after directing a music video for Ice Cube.)

Writers – Kevin James (written by) – (BMT: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Zookeeper; Here Comes the Boom; Notes: Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2016 for Worst Screenplay for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; I was kind of shocked to (re)learn he wrote most of his films. Those are probnably his major ones for the last like seven years. Pretty impressive given the track record.)

Nick Bakay (written by) – (BMT: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Zookeeper; Notes:  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2016 for Worst Screenplay for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; An extremely accomplished television writer and actor, not surprisingly this includes King of Queen. He was the voice of Salem the cat for all of the over 200 episodes of Sabrina the Teenage Witch.)

Actors – Kevin James – (Known For: Hotel Transylvania 2; Hotel Transylvania; 50 First Dates; Hitch; Monster House; BMT: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; Paul Blart: Mall Cop; Zookeeper; Grown Ups 2; The Dilemma; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Pinocchio; Pixels; Barnyard; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Here Comes the Boom; Notes: Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2016 for Worst Actor for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2016 for Worst Supporting Actor for Pixels and in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry;  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2016 for Worst Screen Combo for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 and in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Incredibly famous for his presence in many Adam Sandler films. I would argue he is second banana to Sandler even. Interesting considering he was a late addition to the main Grown Ups crew after Farley passed away. He has a new show (Kevin Can Wait) now, so back to television and general goofy success. More power to him.)

Also stars Keir O’Donnell (Seen in When in Rome) and Jayma Mays (Seen in both The Smurfs and The Smurfs 2)

Budget/Gross – $26 million / Domestic: $146,336,178 (Worldwide: $183,293,131)

(A smash hit. Easily top five family comedies of the year. The more interesting bit is that it is the number one “bumbling” comedy of all time! See below. No surprise it got a sequel. I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets a third if they so desired.)

#1 for the Bumbling Comedy genre

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(Kevin James hit something special with these films. On the level with Mr. Bean and the Ernest films as far as original comedies with a singular “character”. Kind of interesting that almost all modern examples get just horrid reviews. Changing of the time? And yet the biggest boom was recent? Interesting stuff.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 33% (37/113): Paul Blart: Mall Cop has some laughs, but its plot is flimsy and lacking in any sustained comic momentum.

(Fair! And a lot better than I remembered. 33% is retty good to be honest. Why one would expect this to be anything but flimsy is beyonde me though.)

Poster – Paul Sklogt: Mall Sklog (C)

paul_blart_mall_cop

(I don’t mind the poster, it is just boring. I do like the idea in a way, it follows from the ideals of the film: empowering. The focus is on what one might see as a heavyset schlub normally, but shot in a way to make him seem powerful. Is it ironic? I think that is the question the movie is attempting to tease you with (and eventually subvert). But still boring.)

Tagline(s) – Safety Never Takes A Holiday. (C-)

Don’t Mess With His Mall! (D)

(The first is only slightly better because it gives youu an inkling that this is indeed a “holiday” film, taking place on Black Friday. A rare Thanksgiving film! Might have to bust it out this holiday season. I do not like the second.)

Keyword(s) – mall; Top Ten by BMeTric: 68.1 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993); 60.9 Silent Hill: Revelation 3D (2012); 57.9 Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009); 57.4 The Final Destination (2009); 55.4 Vanishing on 7th Street (2010); 49.3 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008); 46.5 The Hot Chick (2002); 46.1 Jingle All the Way (1996); 39.8 Eight Crazy Nights (2002); 37.7 While She Was Out (2008);

(Very nice list. The mall in Silent Hill was minor. And I don’t even remember is in Zohan. The others are pretty standard. Looking forward to the Hot Chick)

Notes – Two of Kevin James’ real-life family members are seen in this film: the karaoke singer is his older brother Gary Valentine, and the woman with two children who Paul helps is his wife Steffiana De La Cruz. (ooo from this I learned that Kevin James’ real name is Kevin Knipfing. No offense, seriously, but an interesting name and I can see why he took on a stage name)

The first film of 2009 to gross over $100 million at the box office. (yes, very impressive)

The Burlington Mall does not have a video arcade. (wow, bullshit. This movie is bullshit!)

The first movie ever released in the month of January to gross over $100 million during its initial release. (Again, extremely impressive. I wonder why this wasn’t released pre-Thanksgiving. I understand that they might not have anticipated the reception, but it is a rare Thanksgiving movie)

By the time this movie was released in American theaters, there were no longer any Sharper Image retail stores. (truly devastating. What a time to be alive)