Flashdance Preview

Just as it appears that Jamie and Patrick are going to do battle they transition into a patented Double Twin Punch directly into Michael’s chest. His chest bursts open, showering them in a multitude of springs and other mechanical doodads. A slow clap rings through the emptiness of the catacombs. “Brilliant,” says Drake Dudikoff. His brother, Charlie, smiles broadly at his side. “We knew you were the ones, we just never imagined you would do it so quickly,” Charlie remarks. “What was it? Was it how closely our story paralleled that of Citizen Kane? The dreams of youth, and loss of innocence associated with the loss of our brother Michael, driving us to ruin in our ambition?” His eyes shine. Jamie and Patrick smirk. “Your story is Toys, my man,” Jamie says wryly. “Dreams of youth… loss of innocence… Michael is a classic Alsatia Zevo. Which of course means The Gutes is…” Another slow clap rings out revealing The Gutes, “LL Cool G himself. It told you these guys were legit,” The Gutes says. Charlie and Drake nod their heads in agreement, “Join us, Movie Twins, and learn what it is you seek. You yearn to know what is good? Then we shall teach you. You want to take your knowledge and help the world? This is where it happens. Look at what we built from our pain and suffering,” they say pointing at the remains of Michael, “Years of painstaking construction from our favorite Ferrari Testarossa which you destroyed with one punch. Think of all the other things you can punch… with your minds.” Jamie and Patrick agree. Point them in the direction of good and their brains will punch it. “Alright,” Drake says, “hope you guys brought your jorts.” That’s right! We are transitioning to the dance club to listen to some sweet tunes and some dope beats. We’re real cool and real rad and we know what the people want. Flashdance! Let’s go!

Flashdance (1983) – BMeTric: 26.2; Notability: 58

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.4%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.3%; Higher BMeT: Jaws 3-D, Superman III, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Staying Alive, Amityville 3-D, Curse of the Pink Panther, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Hercules, Two of a Kind, Deal of the Century, Doctor Detroit, Stroker Ace, Still Smokin, Spring Break, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, The Final Terror, D.C. Cab, Grizzly II: Revenge, The Sting II, Krull, and 1 more; Higher Notability: Superman III, Curse of the Pink Panther, Krull, Deal of the Century; Lower RT: Staying Alive, The Sting II, Nate and Hayes, The Lonely Lady, Grizzly II: Revenge, The Survivors, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Still Smokin, Jaws 3-D, Deal of the Century, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Two of a Kind, D.C. Cab, Amityville 3-D, Stroker Ace, Spring Break, The Black Stallion Returns, Hercules, Class, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, and 9 more; Notes: The Notability is off the chain there. But so is Krull! I guess a big part of Krull is it has a huge cast (including Liam Neeson) of people who became famous maybe. Still seems insane.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Flashdance” is like a movie that won a free 90-minute shopping spree in the Hollywood supermarket. The director (Adrian Lynn, of the much better “Foxes”) and his collaborators race crazily down the aisles, grabbing a piece of “Saturday Night Fever,” a slice of “Urban Cowboy,” a quart of “Marty” and a 2-pound box of “Archie Bunker’s Place.” The result is great sound and flashdance, signifying nothing. But Jennifer Beals shouldn’t feel bad. She is a natural talent, she is fresh and engaging here, and only needs to find an agent with a natural talent for turning down scripts.

(I mean, some high praise there, but an interesting take. I guess you are really slammed in the early 80s for being “derivative” when I think something like this in the 90s appears to border on ironic? Hard to tell. Exciting nonetheless.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9GJ9AWE9M4/

(That is a risque trailer for the 80s I feel like. A good trailer though. Makes me want to watch some dancing.)

DirectorsAdrian Lyne – ( Known For: Lolita; Deep Water; Fatal Attraction; Unfaithful; Jacob’s Ladder; 9½ Weeks; Foxes; Future BMT: Indecent Proposal; BMT: Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Indecent Proposal in 1994; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Fatal Attraction. Deep Water was supposed to be the return of the Erotic Thriller. Instead people maybe just realized that the genre is too weird to resurrect.)

WritersThomas Hedley Jr. – ( Known For: Obsession; Hard to Hold; Double Negative; Mr. Patman; Future BMT: Fighting Back; BMT: Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Flashdance in 1984; Notes: He maybe retired only a few years later? He basically only gets mentioned when people need to try and get the rights to Flashdance.)

Joe Eszterhas – ( Known For: Basic Instinct; Jagged Edge; Music Box; F.I.S.T.; An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn; Telling Lies in America; Big Shots; Hearts of Fire; Szabadság, szerelem; Checking Out; Future BMT: Showgirls; Nowhere to Run; Betrayed; BMT: Flashdance; Sliver; Basic Instinct 2; Jade; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, Worst Supporting Actor, Worst New Star, and Worst Original Song for An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn in 1999; Winner for Worst Screenplay for Showgirls in 1996; Winner for Worst New Star for Ringmaster in 1999; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 1984 for Flashdance; in 1994 for Sliver; and in 1996 for Jade; Notes: Famously wrote a ton of erotic thrillers and the legendarily bad Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee Film. Was nominated for the National Book Award in 1975.)

ActorsJennifer Beals – ( Known For: My Bodyguard; Luckiest Girl Alive; Vampire’s Kiss; Runaway Jury; The Book of Eli; Four Rooms; Before I Fall; Devil in a Blue Dress; The Last Days of Disco; Manhattan Night; The Thief and the Cobbler; The Anniversary Party; Roger Dodger; In the Soup; Full Out; Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle; Dear Diary; Queen to Play; The Twilight of the Golds; The Search for One-eye Jimmy; Future BMT: The Grudge 2; Catch That Kid; The Bride; BMT: After; Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress for The Bride in 1986; Notes: This started her career and since then she’s done a ton of television including some Star Wars, The L Word, and recently The L Word spinoff.)

Michael Nouri – ( Known For: The Proposal; The Terminal; The Squeeze; Finding Forrester; Invincible; Woman Walks Ahead; Last Holiday; The Hidden; Captain America; Goodbye, Columbus; To the Limit; Con Man; Beyond the Trek; Lovely & Amazing; Alex & The List; American Yakuza; Boynton Beach Club; Any Day Now; High Roller: The Stu Ungar Story; Gangster Wars; Future BMT: GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords; BMT: Flashdance; Notes: Young and the Restless, The O.C., All My Children. The man is a soap legend. He sung the theme for Search for Tomorrow.)

Lilia Skala – ( Known For: Ship of Fools; Testament; Charly; House of Games; Lilies of the Field; Caprice; Heartland; Men of Respect; Call Me Madam; Deadly Hero; Roseland; Man braucht kein Geld; BMT: Flashdance; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Lilies of the Field. She’s from Austria.)

Budget/Gross – $7 million / Domestic: $92,921,203 (Worldwide: $92,921,203)

(Wowza, that’s a box office smash! The rights must be totally f-ed because there is little alternative explanation as to why there wouldn’t have been a remake or sequel.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (17/49): All style and very little substance, Flashdance boasts eye-catching dance sequences — and benefits from an appealing performance from Jennifer Beals — but its narrative is flat-footed.

(Oh boo hoo. The film about dancing has a bland story? Footloose baby! The power of a good soundtrack and an appealing lead. Just let it flow is what I say.)

New York Times Short Review: Thin plot but marvelous footwork.

Poster – Flashpants

(I like how people are like “no, no, Flashdance was not selling sex. It was selling the dreams of a young girl who just wanted to dance.” Right, that’s definitely what I’m getting from this poster. It’s OK, the film can be great and also sell itself on being steamy, even in a PG-13 kind of way. Not the best poster, but iconic. I grade it an I for iconic.)

Tagline(s) – What a feeling. (A+)

Something happens when she hears the music…it’s her freedom. It’s her fire. It’s her life. (B+)

(That second one is great if they didn’t add the front part to it. What a feeling is also pretty great from an advertising angle. You can almost feel like girls and boys alike would see this poster and then have their pulse race a little when they are told “what a feeling.” It’s not an A+ on its merits, but like the poster as a whole it’s an A+ in execution.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.1 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 72.0 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.7 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.7 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.6 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.1 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.4 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 48.0 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.8 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Mac and Me (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Poltergeist III (1988), Cool World (1992), Wild Orchid (1989), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Sliver (1993), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Blame It on Rio (1984), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), Flashdance (1983), The Cannonball Run (1981), Tango & Cash (1989), Stone Cold (1991), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (wisdom): 26.2 Flashdance (1983), 12.8 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

(Top choice. In reality a huge reason to pick Flashdance was it was standalone. Because you know I would be watching Home Alone again, and we’d at least have to consider Home Alone 3 (which I believe, somehow, qualifies). And thus ends The One and Only cycle, the biggest data analysis BMT has ever done.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 32) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Malcolm Danare is No. 11 billed in Flashdance and No. 11 billed in Godzilla, which also stars Jean Reno (No. 2 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 5 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (11 + 11) + (2 + 5) + (1 + 2) = 32. If we were to watch Staying Alive, Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 18.

Notes – Jennifer Beals’ trend-setting collarless sweatshirt came about by accident. The sweatshirt, which Beals brought from home, had shrunk in the wash and she had to cut the collar off in order to get it over her head. When director Adrian Lyne and costume designer Michael Kaplan saw it at the wardrobe fitting, they both loved it and Kaplan improved the overall look of the sweatshirt for the actual shoot.

Based on the life of construction worker/welder-turned-dancer Maureen Marder.

Marine Jahan was Jennifer Beals’ body double for the dancing scenes. Jahan was kept hidden from the press because the filmmakers did not want to ruin the illusion. Alex’s leap through the air in the audition scene was done by gymnast Sharon Shapiro and the break-dancing was done by Crazy Legs. Jahan appeared in the music video for “Maniac”.

In 1982, Maureen Marder, whose life the film loosely is based on, signed an agreement with Paramount releasing it from any claim regarding her life story. In return she received a check for $2,300. The movie later took in an estimated $200 million worldwide.

The traffic cop who Alex mimics to a tune from Bizet’s Carmen is famous in Pittsburgh. His name is Vic Cianca, and he was well known for his “choreography,” directing traffic in Pittsburgh for over 30 years. He was known as the “Nureyev of the Intersection,” a moniker bestowed on him by Phil Musick of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

In the early years of home video, Paramount tried an experiment in which this film was given a heavily promoted home video release while the film was still playing in some cinemas. The box office was expected to drop off to nothing as soon as the tape became available for rental. Instead, the heavy promotion caused an increase in box office receipts.

Joe Esposito recorded the vocals to the original version of Flashdance … What A Feeling. Producer Don Simpson and Adrienne Lynn decided that since the lead character was a female, the song needed to be sung by a female. They hired Irene Cara to perform the song at the last minute. She re-wrote the original lyrics while riding in a car to the recording studio the day she recorded the song, and wound up winning an Oscar for her performance.

Michael Sembello had intended that the rhythm of “Maniac” be too fast to dance to.

This is the the first film to become a smash hit largely due to MTV. The opening weekend box office receipts were about $6 million, but the soundtrack immediately became a best-seller in the U.S. The film’s music producers and credited artists worked very quickly to film videos for songs such as “What a Feeling” and “Maniac” to get them on MTV. Younger viewers sustained the film’s run well beyond what was then expected for films that were released outside of the summer or winter holidays, were rated R, or didn’t have major stars involved. The movie took in an estimated $200 million worldwide.

The soundtrack to the movie sold 700,000 copies in its first two weeks of release.

Awards – Winner for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Giorgio Moroder, Keith Forsey, Irene Cara, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Cinematography (Donald Peterman, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Film Editing (Bud S. Smith, Walt Mulconery, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Michael Sembello, Dennis Matkosky, 1984)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Thomas Hedley Jr., Joe Eszterhas, 1984)

After Preview

Adam Banks is horrified by the latest demands by Jamie and Patrick. “They are monsters,” he whispers in shock, “I can handle them being proud of what they’ve made. But this is just greed. We need something on them, Rod. Some scandal that will let us fire them.” With that he orders Rod back to the set with a scandalous new member of the cast.

Jamie looks deep into the eyes of Leighton Vanderschmidt, cast opposite him as the Ghost of Christmas War. Apparently when Banks heard about the demand for a ghost he insisted that Leighton be cast, which was fine by them… she is by all accounts boffo box office. The spooky character is meant to evoke the fleeting nature of life and love, but Jamie isn’t yet sure the message is getting through. Mostly they’ve just done a whole bunch of kung fu and made out. Nice. Looking around Jamie starts to think that perhaps it is getting through because everyone on set looks truly horrified. Likely due to existential dread. With shooting done for the day he turns and runs directly into Patrick, who spills a half-eaten cake onto his costume. “Jeez Louise, my costume is ruined,” Jamie snaps, stamping his foot. “Here let me help with that,” Leighton chimes in. How charming. She escorts him to her trailer and proceeds to help clean up all the cake. Jamie notices just how scandalous this must look, them alone in Leighton’s trailer, him pantsless, ruined cake everywhere. Gee, he sure does hope that no one is conveniently taking pictures at this moment through the open window, because that would be quite the scandal. But he waves off the eerie feeling… he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it. That’s right! We’re watching the 2019 teen romance After, based on a book that started as One Direction fanfiction. It tells the story of a goodl girl who just can’t resist the mysterious bad boy in town (who also can’t resist her). Oooo, forbidden love. It had me at One Direction fanfiction. Let’s go!

After (2019) – BMeTric: 46.5; Notability: 18 

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(Tumbling quite nicely. Didn’t open that high as well. On a nice streak for the Notability. Shows how a lot of the bad movies you find in the late 2010s end up being those films with relatively few famous crew. Makes sense from a business perspective, throw a flier out there using a shoestring budget.)

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – “After” opens with some narration about how certain moments in life seem to define a person, and from there, the clichés pretty much don’t stop. If there’s a defining moment in the life of Tessa Young (Josephine Langford), it’s either meeting, initially being annoyed by, falling in love with, being heart-broken by, or reuniting with Hardin Scott (Hero Fiennes Tiffin).

(Ha! Pretty solidly destroying the entire concept of the film there. I am not looking forward to this though. Seems like it is going to mostly be frustrating.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZAdcWHuCmY/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZAdcWHuCmY/

(DRAMA. That is what they should have called the movie: Drama and Rain: The Movie. So much rain and drama. It is making me all excited, but in that special BMT kind of way.)

Directors – Jenny Gage – (BMT: After; Notes: She produced and directed a documentary called All This Panic about girls coming of age in Brooklyn. Makes sense she would be tapped for this adaptation.)

Writers – Tom Betterton (screenplay by) – (BMT: After; Notes: Gage’s husband. I’m sure this was part of some rewrites, but he seems to have worked alongside her quite closely throughout her career.)

Tamara Chestna (screenplay by) – (BMT: After; Notes: Seems to be working on a similarly themed film for Netflix called Moxie. Was an assistant to a producer (I think) on Last Holiday. Seems to have bounced around across a bunch of production studios.)

Jenny Gage (screenplay by) – (BMT: After; Notes: The director. Her and her husband probably were able to rewrite the script once she was put on board.)

Susan McMartin (screenplay by) – (Future BMT: Son in Law; BMT: After; Notes: A very successful television writer, she wrote 58 episodes of Mom and 15 episodes of Two and a Half Man along with being a producer on both shows.)

Anna Todd (novel) – (BMT: After; Notes: This film was created as a fanfiction involving One Direction. It was the first book she ever wrote.)

Actors – Josephine Langford – (Future BMT: Wish Upon; BMT: After; Notes: Younger sister of Katherine Langford who we have not seen in a BMT film yet.)

Hero Fiennes Tiffin – (Known For: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; Private Peaceful; Bigga Than Ben; BMT: After; Notes: Nephew of Ralph Fiennes which is why he was hired to play a young Tom Riddle in Harry Potter. Went to school nearby where I currently live in London which is amusing.)

Khadijha Red Thunder – (BMT: After; Notes: Doesn’t seem to even have a wikipedia page … well she’s slated for the sequel, so maybe she’ll get one soon. Very weird.)

Budget/Gross – $14,000,000 / Domestic: $12,138,565 (Worldwide: $69,497,587)

(Solid worldwide success. Much like horror films it is pretty easy for teen romances to make money since you don’t have to pay much to make them.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (6/35): Tepid and tired, After’s fun flourishes are let down by its generic story.

(Uh oh. Usually I like something like “An unmitigated disaster that is more laughable than sexy” … those are usually more entertaining. Hopefully it is indeed very laughable and not very sexy. Reviewer Highlight: The real problem with After is that it’s a lifeless slog of thinly written clichés, one that’s missing the charismatic spark of the actual One Direction boys. – Caroline Siede, AV Club)

Poster – Teen Romance Sklog-daption (2019) (A) 

after_ver2

(My god, it’s beautiful. Not only is it actually a fine example of a poster (interesting font, overall color scheme, and sexy spacing to really let us know we’re in for a steamy ride), but it’s like a romance novel front cover on steroids. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.)

Tagline(s) – After Your First, Life is Never the Same. (B)

(First… love? God I hope they mean first love. But you know they’re implying virginity. I think this is fine. Could be more clever, but it has a cadence to it and it feels right.)

Keyword – high school senior

After_high school senior

Top 10: After (2019), Superbad (2007), The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012), Varsity Blues (1999), Central Intelligence (2016), The Girl Next Door (2004), 21 Jump Street (2012), Project X (2012), 17 Again (2009), The Spectacular Now (2013); 

Future BMT: 27.4 Senior Trip (1995), 17.6 Varsity Blues (1999), 15.8 Inventing the Abbotts (1997), 13.2 Tuff Turf (1985); 

BMT: After (2019), Project X (2012)

(Not much here, and honestly not many good keywords for this one yet. Project X is a very high school senior thing, but this one … aren’t they in college in After? Whatever.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 22) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Selma Blair is No. 3 billed in After and No. 3 billed in Down To You, which also stars Freddie Prinze Jr. (No. 1 billed) who is in Summer Catch (No. 1 billed), which also stars Jessica Biel (No. 2 billed) who is in Valentine’s Day (No. 2 billed), which also stars Jessica Alba (No. 1 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 2 billed), which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 3 + 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 2 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 22. If we were to watch Feeling Minnesota, Hardball, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 18.

Notes – Hardin’s copy of Wuthering Heights is the copy that Anna Todd has had since she was a teenager.

Was originally a One Direction fanfiction on a website called Wattpad. (Oh my, that’s excellent)

The original After trilogy gained over 1 billion reads on Wattpad. (No!)

Josephine Langford admitted in an interview that she read the first few chapters of After on Wattpad several years before being cast as Tessa. (Oh don’t admit that! Say you tried to read it, but it was incomprehensible trash. How are we going to have seen multiple fan fiction adaptation for BMT. How did this happen?)

The rights to the film were originally sold to Paramount. However, Anna Todd wanted more freedom when it came to adapting the film. The rights were then given back and eventually sold to Aviron.

Josephine Langford only had about a week or so to prepare for her role as Tessa Young. She read the book(s) and the script while on a plane. (Cheap as ffffffff)

Before being a novel, After was a fan fiction on the website Wattpad where some of the characters’ names were based on the members of One Direction: Hardin = Harry Styles; Zed = Zayn Malik; Landon = Liam Payne; Nate = Niall Horan; Logan = Louis Tomlinson.

The full After series includes After, After We Collided, After We Fell, After Ever Happy, and Before (HA! Before takes the cake)

Under the Cherry Moon Preview

Nearing the end of our time wallowing in 1986 and this week we get to target a Razzie release from that year. Of the five films nominated for Worst Picture we still have two unwatched: Under the Cherry Moon and Blue City. I think the choice is obvious. This was Prince’s follow-up to Purple Rain and he decided to direct it himself to… interesting results. Not much more to say. Let’s go!

Under the Cherry Moon (1986) – BMeTric: 24.5

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(Yet again a pretty standard linear BMeTric plot but … can we revel in the fact that Under the Cherry Moon barely broke 2000 votes at this point? That is absurd. It won a Worst Picture for the Razzies. It has the late great Prince in it! Just weird and wild stuff)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Supremely silly vanity film with Prince self-cast as American gigolo/entertainer in the south of France who has a devastating effect on women (yes, it’s a science fiction story). Stylish-looking fairy tale/fable, filmed in black & white, is a triumph of self-adoration, and overall embarrassment. Some music throughout, but in fragmented scenes. Kristin Scott Thomas’ film debut.

(The mere fact that this got 1.5 stars instead of bomb is pretty unlikely in the first place. Also it is like Leonard Maltin can’t help himself: what is the deal with the alternative-separated-by-a-slash in this review? “gigolo/entertainer” I could have dismissed, but to follow so closely with “fairy tale/fable”? Unacceptable. At least he doesn’t dismiss it as merely boring. We got that going for us, considering this feels like the spiritual successor to Harlem Nights.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwkqXsWPY1k

(This trailer consists of a series of random clips from the film with Prince’s ‘Kiss’ playing over them and an announcer telling me to “See it”… and it was amazing.)

Directors – Prince – (BMT: Under the Cherry Moon; Graffiti Bridge; Notes:  Won the Razzie Award in 1987 for Worst Actor, Director, and Original Song for Under the Cherry Moon; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2000 for Worst Actor of the Century;  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1990 for Worst Actor of the Decade; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1990 for Worst New Star of the Decade for Under the Cherry Moon; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1991 for Worst Actor, Director, and Screenplay for Graffiti Bridge; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1985 for Worst Original Song for Purple Rain; He only made three major movies and directed two of them! Born in Minneapolis, Minnesota (holla!) he did a lot for that community his whole life. He had season tickets to the Vikings and I believe owned part of the concert venue First Avenue (which featured in Purple Rain). Is recognized for his highly sexualized lyrics which got him into some trouble with parents groups early in his career … I liked Prince, it was very sad that he died earlier this year.)

Michael Ballhaus – (BMT: Under the Cherry Moon; Notes: From a show business family (his father was a German actor and his sons are cinematographers and second unit directors). He is German and mostly known for cinematography (he’s been nominated three times for an Oscar including for Gangs of New York). He was kicked off of this movie after disagreements with Prince and is often listed as uncredited.)

Writers – Becky Johnston (screenplay) – (Known For: Seven Years in Tibet; The Prince of Tides; BMT: Under the Cherry Moon; Arthur and Mike; Notes:  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1987 for Worst Screenplay for Under the Cherry Moon. Very strange, hard to find info. I say it is strange because she wrote Seven Years in Tibet and was nominated for an Oscar for Prince of Tides. I can only assume she is a producer / script doctor now … but seriously, I can’t find anything.)

Actors – Prince – (Known For: Purple Rain; BMT: Under the Cherry Moon; Graffiti Bridge; Notes: See above for Razzie details and biographical details. Graffiti Bridge is a sequel to Purple Rain by the way … I didn’t know that.)

Jerome Benton – (Known For: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; Purple Rain; BMT: Under the Cherry Moon; Graffiti Bridge; Notes:  Won the Razzie Award in 1987 for Worst Supporting Actor for Under the Cherry Moon. Musician and comedian who worked with Prince and Janet Jackson among others. As a member of The Revolution he obviously had major parts in all of Prince’s films)

Kristin Scott Thomas – (Known For: The English Patient; Four Weddings and a Funeral; Only God Forgives; The Golden Compass; Suite Française; Mission: Impossible; Gosford Park; The Other Boleyn Girl; Ne le dis à personne; Bitter Moon; The Horse Whisperer; Salmon Fishing in the Yemen; Life as a House; Nowhere Boy; Easy Virtue; The Invisible Woman; Dans la maison; Richard III; BMT: Random Hearts (BMT); Bel Ami; Confessions of a Shopaholic; Under the Cherry Moon; Notes:  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1987 for Worst Supporting Actress and New Star for Under the Cherry Moon; Most recently we saw her in Random Hearts with Harrison Ford. Off the top of my head I do know she is fluent in French and tends to provide her own French dubbings in film. A lot of her films are French for the same reason.)

Budget/Gross – $12 million / Domestic: $10,090,429

(Yeah … so that isn’t a good result. It is specifically mentioned in Prince’s IMDb biography as a giant bomb like … why mention it? Anyways, yeah, catastrophic.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 32% (10/31): Under the Cherry Moon may satisfy the most rabid Prince fans, but everyone else will be better served with this vanity project’s far superior soundtrack.

(Kind of shockingly high given it might as well as swept the Razzie Awards. I am excited for the soundtrack especially given that it appears to be a Harlem Nights-esque period piece vanity project.)

Poster – Under the Cherry Sklog (B-)

under_the_cherry_moon

(Really old fashioned looking. I like the font on the letters and the fact that Prince is drawn. Should have scrapped the screenshots of Jerome Benton and Kristin Scott Thomas. Benton’s in particular is really odd with him standing there holding a phone.)

Tagline(s) – See It – Hear It – Feel It – Live It (C+)

(Hate it (slaaaaaammed). I think it is a classic sounds-like-a-tagline tagline. But have to give it some credit for being short and trying to have some cadance.)

Keyword(s) – love; Top Ten by BMeTric: 85.2 The Last Airbender (2010); 84.9 Date Movie (2006); 81.4 Alone in the Dark (2005); 80.6 Vampires Suck (2010); 78.9 In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007); 75.4 Troll 2 (1990); 74.7 From Justin to Kelly (2003); 72.9 Hannah Montana: The Movie (2009); 70.4 Grease 2 (1982); 70.2 Universal Soldier: The Return (1999);

(Weird list, but that’ll happen when literally like 800 movies have the same keyword. Has some of the worst of the worst according to the BMeTric, and yet only Grease 2 really should be watched for BMT. Only From Justin to Kelly is really a “romance” per se, which is a bit annoying. There are so many bad romance movies too.)

Notes – Prince took over from original director Mary Lambert over “creative differences”. Because the production was filming in Europe, it did not come up against the Director’s Guild of America, which has rules against firing a director in favor of a lead actor. (Oh shit, not that is a fun fact)

Kristin Scott Thomas has since been disdainful of the film. In an interview in 2005, she said that “When I left drama school…I was more afraid of not working at all than of the actual material I was being offered. And if you look at my very first film, you’ll understand exactly what I mean.”

The movie had an unlikely spot for its world premiere – the Centennial Twin Theater in Sheridan, Wyo. – in June 1986. Local resident Lisa Barber won the right to host the premiere by being the 10,000th caller in MTV’s “Prince Under the Cherry Moon” contest. Several members of the cast (including Prince) and a few notables such as Joni Mitchell and Ray Parker Jr. showed up in the north-central Wyoming city for the event, which also featured a post-movie party and a 45-minute private concert from Prince at the local Holiday Inn. (Prince is a cool dude. I still kind of regret not going to his pancake pajama party in Minneapolis a few years back. That also involved an impromptu private concert)

Filmed in color, released in black and white.

Prince wrote the Bangles’ “Manic Monday” using the pseudonym Christopher Tracy, the character he plays in this film. The song became a hit for the band the same year this film was released.

Madonna was originally offered the role of Mary Sharon. Susannah Melvoin was then cast as Mary but was replaced before filming began. (Goddamn)

The picture was nominated for Worst Picture at the Hastings Bad Cinema Society’s 9th Stinkers Bad Movie Awards in 1986. (The Stickers! Rarely mentioned these days)

Awards – Won the Razzie Award for Worst Picture

Won the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Prince)

Won the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Jerome Benton)

Won the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Prince)

Won the Razzie Award for Worst Original Song (Prince)

Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Kristin Scott Thomas)

Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Becky Johnston)

Nominated for the Razzie Award for Worst New Star (Kristin Scott Thomas)