As Rich and Poe walk down the hallway with the teacher, Ms. Halloway, they wonder what they’ve gotten themselves into. If this was a The Substitute scenario they should be bashing skulls and taking names by now. “Maybe we’re missing a crime… a murder to solve?” Poe ponders. Ah, a The Substitute 2: School’s Out scenario… definitely possible, Rich agrees. “You know we can stop this ruse, right?” Ms. Halloway says behind them. They slowly turn and attempt to sputter out an excuse, but Ms. Halloway just smirks and flips open a badge. “Det. Halloway, BMTPD. You boys are a little late to the party.” What a twist! But how could she have seen through their bulletproof nerd alert disguises. “Well, you are both forty years old,” she explains, “and as a cop it was easy to connect the dots from there.” Clever girl. “I’ve been working undercover on the case for two years and you two stroll in and nearly blow the whole thing on day one. Lucky for you I know these kids and I know what they want.” Rich and Poe’s hearts leap, perhaps this is the break they need. “Love.” Rich is deflated. Love is lame. What about bashing skulls? What about patented Twin Chops, backflips, and abs. Pffff. Love. But Poe’s eyes are shining and he steps closer to Ms. Halloway. “What if I told you I know a little something about that.” He steps even closer. “You ever heard of a book called The Platonic Solids Series Part I: Outside the Box?” he asks breathily, inches from Ms. Halloways quivering lips. “It’s… it’s my favorite book,” she replies in a whisper, her bosom heaving and breath bated in anticipation. And with that they begin to make out… hard. That’s right! We are finally dipping our toes in the mother of all teen love triangle romances with the second Twilight film The Twilight Saga: New Moon. This is also one of only two qualifying films. So we are leaving the series hanging, but hopefully not for long. I’m ready for the steamy vampire-werewolf romance extravaganza. Let’s go!
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) – BMeTric: 78.1; Notability: 63
(Quite intriguing how low that is. I assume that is mostly because of the demographics of the people who vote on IMDb. I remember this movie mostly just being boring. That doesn’t feel sub-5.0 to be, but we’ll see.)
RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.
(Ooooooo, so maybe it is just so boring that it ends up being really really terrible! Because one star is really really low as well. This is precisely how I remember this.)
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNi-ebCWXos/
(Oh, I love you so much Bella. Oh, I love you so much Edward. Let’s die together, that would be super romantical wouldn’t it? Oh … that’s my impression of Twilight. Nailed it.)
Directors – Chris Weitz – (Known For: American Pie; The Golden Compass; Operation Finale; About a Boy; A Better Life; Future BMT: Down to Earth; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for About a Boy. Apparently he was uncredited on American Pie, presumably because he was just helping his older brother to direct it.)
Writers – Melissa Rosenberg (screenplay) – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Future BMT: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Step Up; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; in 2011 for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: Wrote the entire series. A legend of television, she produced and wrote on Melrose Place, The O.C., and Dexter among many many others.)
Stephenie Meyer (novel) – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Future BMT: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Host; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 in 2013; Notes: Wrote the novels. Apparently the idea for the storyline came to her in a dream, the idea of a vampire being in love with a human woman while thirsting for her blood.)
Actors – Kristen Stewart – (Known For: Charlie’s Angels; Underwater; Twilight; Into the Wild; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Snow White and the Huntsman; Zathura: A Space Adventure; American Ultra; Panic Room; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Adventureland; Still Alice; Cafe Society; The Runaways; On the Road; Personal Shopper; Certain Women; Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk; J.T. LeRoy; Clouds of Sils Maria; Future BMT: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Cold Creek Manor; The Messengers; Catch That Kid; Equals; Seberg; Cell K-11; Anesthesia; Fierce People; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Jumper; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress in 2013 for Snow White and the Huntsman, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Nominee for Worst Actress, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 in 2012; Nominee for Worst Actress for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse in 2011; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: Notably had an affair with the director Rupert Sanders, which caused her initial breakup with Robert Pattinson. She is bisexual and has mostly been in relationships with women recently.)
Robert Pattinson – (Known For: The Lighthouse; The King; Good Time; Twilight; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; The Lost City of Z; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; High Life; Waiting for the Barbarians; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Vanity Fair; Water for Elephants; The Rover; Maps to the Stars; Cosmopolis; Damsel; Life; The Childhood of a Leader; Future BMT: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Bel Ami; Queen of the Desert; Little Ashes; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 2011 for Remember Me, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: New Moon in 2010; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; and in 2013 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; Notes: He is going to be The Batman. During his entire Twilight period he would have amusing interviews where he would appear bemused about the various odd storylines from the film, look them up.)
Taylor Lautner – (Known For: Twilight; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; The Twilight Saga: Eclipse; Future BMT: The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D; The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Tracers; Run the Tide; BMT: The Twilight Saga: New Moon; The Ridiculous 6; Abduction; Grown Ups 2; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Valentine’s Day; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 in 2013; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2011 for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, and Valentine’s Day; and in 2012 for Abduction, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Grown Ups 2 in 2014; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2010 for The Twilight Saga: New Moon; and in 2012 for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1; Notes: Been moving more into prestige television recently, specifically was in Cuckoo for the past several years.)
Budget/Gross – $50,000,000 / Domestic: $297,816,253 (Worldwide: $711,020,081)
(Obviously, a huge success. One of the most successful series in cinema history. Single-handedly made vampires a huge thing again.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 28% (64/227): The Twilight Saga’s second installment may satisfy hardcore fans of the series, but outsiders are likely to be turned off by its slow pace, relentlessly downcast tone, and excessive length.
(This is what I remember. Just Bella moping about depressed for an hour and a half. Reviewer Highlight: The boys preen while the girl sulks. And pouts. And sulks. And pouts. – Richard Roeper, RichardRoeper.com)
Poster – The Platonic Solids Series Part 2: Love on the Blocks (C)
(Gonna be honest. I don’t really like that. The colors are drab and otherwise just the usually human mess. Some OK font, but even the spacing seems off. Like there is too much space around them.)
Tagline(s) – The Next Chapter Begins (F)
(Blah, boo. Give me something more than that. I spent more time thinking up the “Love on the Blocks” subtitle for the fake second book of our fake teen romance series.)
Keyword – vampire
Top 10: Doctor Sleep (2019), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), Twilight (2008), The Lost Boys (1987), I Am Legend (2007), Hellboy (2019), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 (2012)
Future BMT: 89.4 Vampires Suck (2010), 87.9 BloodRayne (2005), 72.2 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), 51.1 Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010), 48.6 Sleepwalkers (1992), 43.9 Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), 43.8 Priest (2011), 42.2 Transylvania 6-5000 (1985), 41.8 Bordello of Blood (1996), 40.8 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003);
BMT: Hellboy (2019), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Vampire Academy (2014), Queen of the Damned (2002), Dracula 2001 (2000), Ultraviolet (2006), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Dudley Do-Right (1999)
(The crescendo is right after the Twilight books hit it big, they were trying to capture that fanaticism. It has, naturally, kind of slip away recently as one would expect. I’m excited for … Priest. That has been on the docket for years.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Taylor Lautner is No. 3 billed in The Twilight Saga: New Moon and No. 2 billed in Ridiculous Six, which also stars Adam Sandler (No. 1 billed) who is in Jack and Jill (No. 1 billed), which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 3 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 3 + 1 = 15. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 11.
Notes – Just before Jacob almost kisses Bella, he says “Kwop kilawtley”, which means “stay with me forever” in Quileute.
Each member of the wolf pack had to have papers proving their Native descent. Chaske Spencer is Lakota (Sioux), Bronson Pelletier is Cree-Metis, Alex Meraz is Purepecha (Tarasco), Kiowa Gordon is Hualapai, and Tyson Houseman, who was discovered at an open casting call, is Cree.
After months of speculation and rumors, director Chris Weitz and the novel’s author, Stephenie Meyer, confirmed on her official website that Taylor Lautner would be reprising his role as Jacob Black. It was doubted as the filmmakers feared he would not be able to become fit enough in time. However, he was given the go-ahead after gaining 26 pounds of muscle.
Summit Entertainment greenlit this sequel one day after Twilight (2008) had opened in theaters.
The Italian sequences were shot over a period of 4 days. Red was deliberately kept out of the color palette until the Italian sequences.
While Carlisle is cleaning Bella’s wounds after the party, when he burns the blood-soaked gauze, the gauze forms the flower that is present on the New Moon book cover.
When Michael Sheen was cast as Aro, he had no clue of who the character is nor what are his characteristics. He learned as much as he could including the character’s back story from his daughter Lily Mo Sheen who is a fan of the series.
Contrary to scheduling conflict claims, Catherine Hardwicke turned down directing this film because the release date set by Summit (exactly one year after the first film’s release) would not allow her to have enough time to work on the script. With Hardwicke out, the studio scrambled in looking for a replacement director until producer Wyck Godfrey had to turn to his friend Chris Weitz who eventually agreed to do the film.
“New Moon” is Robert Pattinson’s favorite book in the Twilight series.
Ashley Greene wore a different wig than the one she wore in Twilight (2008), to portray Alice Cullen. She also cut her hair quite short so that it could fit under the wig.
A vampire’s diet is revealed by the color of the eyes – the Cullens feast only on animal blood and therefore have topaz eyes, whereas the Nomads and the Volturi have red eyes indicating they feast upon human blood.
The town of Voltera was chosen because of its uncanny resemblance to the Italian town described in Stephenie Meyer’s novel. The only difference was that its main square lacked a fountain which production designer David Brisbin duly had built from wood.
Every song that appears in the film and on the soundtrack is original and written specifically for the film.
The film is included on Roger Ebert’s “Most Hated” list.
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, 2010)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Robert Pattinson, 2010)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (2010)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Melissa Rosenberg, 2010)