Oh man, so get this. I was jetting around at the lake on my jetski when I fell off and really bopped my head good. Now I can’t remember a thing! Do you remember what happened in Fools Rush In?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We open with our hero arriving triumphantly back at work from Miami at Christmas time. He’s off to Las Vegas now, but his real dream Club Dolphino would be centered where?
2) Well, whatever he’s in Las Vegas. And we got a meetcute on our hands! Where do Hayak and Perry meet for the first time?
3) Welp, now they have to get married, she’s pregnant. But he doesn’t really want his parents to know. Where does he say they are off to for the whole summer?
4) In the end he does successfully open Club Dolphino Las Vegas. Why is it a problem for him to go to his dream position on the Fourth of July though?
5) Well, he’s just got to have her though, so he jets off to Mexico, but alas, he’s too late! Where does he find her?
Bonus Question: Twenty five years later we meet up with Hayak at a dinner. Why is she going out to eat?
Jamie and Patrick are looking radical. Hat? Backwards. Jeans? Also backwards. Arms? Crossed. Their summer had been spent consuming the weekly ‘zine Funky Fresh Horses that was just catching fire and they were saving their nickels and dimes to buy a horse. Their dad had one word of advice for them as they navigate this crazy thing we call life: “You better give up that bad movie thing if you want to save enough money for a horse.” With that he swept his arm in the general direction of the local stables and called it ‘nature’s movie.’ Despite this being wrong (Nature’s movie is a babbling brook) they venture forth and soon find themselves perusing the horses for sale. Suddenly their eyes alight on a beautiful steed. He’s everything that a couple funky fresh dudez could want in a horse. But just as they approach the stables they are pushed to the ground. “This horse isn’t for little babies,” some older kids say and begin to laugh at them. After they leave, Patrick sits ruminating in his devastation. Jamie paces about, rending his garments in despair. At that moment of true sorrow they suddenly hear a quiet voice. “Don’t worry,” it says, “I know exactly what to do.” They look around in confusion. They are the only ones here other than a single horse staring at them from the furthest stall. As they approach they read the name on the door, ‘Don.’ Jamie and Patrick hesitate. “We have to consider our past bad experiences with talking horses,” Patrick says quietly. “Right, and we can’t forget the Not Foolz Rule,” Jamie says, pulling out a very cool phrase he coined, “Don’t do what foolz do.” With that their eyes glaze over and they enter a patented Twin Memory. That’s right! We are watching Fools Rush In, the Matthew Perry vehicle that will have you asking the question: wait, is this the one where he pretends to be gay? Let’s go!
Fools Rush In (1997) – BMeTric: 28.1; Notability: 32
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 20.4%; Notability: top 26.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 34.9%; Higher BMeT: Batman & Robin, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Home Alone 3, Steel, Mr. Magoo, Double Team, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Chairman of the Board, Spawn, Flubber, An American Werewolf in Paris, Turbulence, Fire Down Below, Jungle 2 Jungle, Gone Fishin’, McHale’s Navy, The Pest, Kull the Conqueror, Plump Fiction, and 31 more; Higher Notability: Batman & Robin, The Saint, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Jackal, Dante’s Peak, The Postman, Flubber, Spawn, The Man Who Knew Too Little, The Relic, Fathers’ Day, The Devil’s Own, Red Corner, Meet Wally Sparks, Kiss the Girls, Event Horizon, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Fire Down Below, Mad City, Steel, and 46 more; Lower RT: Plump Fiction, Fall, The Blackout, The Peacekeeper, McHale’s Navy, Shadow Conspiracy, Gone Fishin’, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Pest, ‘Til There Was You, An American Werewolf in Paris, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Dangerous Ground, The Postman, Mr. Magoo, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Keys to Tulsa, Double Team, Chairman of the Board, and 61 more; Notes: Amazingly, Fools Rush In was basically the biggest “tv film” around if you look through the list here. Batman & Robin played 56 times in the two or so years left in the 90s, Speed 2 played 64 times, but pretty much all the rest pale in comparison to Fools Rush In coming in at 51. Pretty impressive. Our friend this week is Deadly Outbreak with Jeff Speakman which played primetime (and I’m not joking) on the Saturday after Thanksgiving on Cinemax. Really trying to goose those DVD sales huh boys!
RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – In actual fact, of course, angels rush in where fools fear to tread. And that’s what happens to Alex Whitman, a fairly unexciting builder of nightclubs, when Isabel Fuentes comes into his life. Alex comes from Manhattan, where he leads the kind of WASP life that requires Jill Clayburgh as his mother. He’s in Las Vegas to supervise the construction of a new club, when he crosses paths with Isabel, a Mexican-American camera girl at Caesars, who believes in fate: “There is a reason behind all logic to bring us the exact same time and place.” The reason, which may be the oldest one in the world, leads them to the same bed for a one-night stand, which both insist they “never” do. But then Isabel disappears for three months, returning unexpectedly one day for a visit during which she asks for saltines (always an ominous sign) before telling Alex she is pregnant.
(I love it. I genuinely love when Ebert takes a film like this where it is just very confusing as to why exactly everyone is shitting on it and is like “huh … seems pretty good to me.” He’s right by the way, pretty heartfelt film about an unlikely couple just trying to make their way.)
(Besides the pretty in your face racism undertones, the film seems charming. I’d put peak Selma Hayak against any other actress in the history of cinema. It is absurd how attractive she is. And oddly? Matthew Perry doesn’t feel like he’s entirely out of his league. Is that weird?)
Directors – Andy Tennant – ( Known For: Ever After: A Cinderella Story; Hitch; The Secret: Dare to Dream; Anna and the King; Wild Oats; Future BMT: It Takes Two; BMT: Sweet Home Alabama; Fools Rush In; Fool’s Gold; The Bounty Hunter; Notes: Nominated for two Emmy for The Kominsky Method which he produced and directed a bit on. That seems to be his most recent work for the most part.)
Writers – Joan Taylor – ( BMT: Fools Rush In; Notes: Huh. She was an actress, but she retired from acting in the 60s. I think she might have written specs for a while because she has a few credited novels, so I imagine they dusted this bad boy off well after it was written and she got a story credit.)
Katherine Reback – ( BMT: Fools Rush In; Notes: Incredibly her only credit. At all. What an odd pair. It makes me wonder how this film was even made. I bet there are a million non-credited writers in the end.)
Actors – Matthew Perry – ( Known For: 17 Again; The Whole Nine Yards; The Kid; Numb; Birds of America; Getting In; Future BMT: She’s Out of Control; Almost Heroes; A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon; Three to Tango; BMT: Fools Rush In; The Whole Ten Yards; Serving Sara; Notes: He claims that this is the film where his pain killer addiction began which on-and-off derailed his acting career quite publicly. Either he was just doing it for fun or there is a scene involving jet skis where he got injured.)
Salma Hayek – ( Known For: The Faculty; From Dusk Till Dawn; Puss in Boots: The Last Wish; Eternals; Sausage Party; Traffic; House of Gucci; Dogma; Here Comes the Boom; Magic Mike’s Last Dance; Desperado; Savages; The Hitman’s Bodyguard; Frida; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Puss in Boots; Four Rooms; Tale of Tales; Once Upon a Time in Mexico; Across the Universe; Future BMT: After the Sunset; 54; Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant; Like a Boss; How to Be a Latin Lover; Fled; BMT: Grown Ups; Grown Ups 2; Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Wild Wild West; Fools Rush In; Fair Game; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Midaq Alley. Married to the son of French billionaire Francois Pinault who is the CEO of Kering.)
Jon Tenney – ( Known For: Tombstone; I See You; The Phantom; Wild Mountain Thyme; Rabbit Hole; You Can Count on Me; Nixon; Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home; Buying the Cow; Lassie; The Seagull; Homegrown; Guilty by Suspicion; Music from Another Room; As Cool as I Am; Hide Away; The Twilight of the Golds; Lovelife; Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World; Entropy; Future BMT: Legion; The Best of Me; The Stepfather; Love the Coopers; BMT: Green Lantern; Beverly Hills Cop III; Fools Rush In; Notes: Mostly a television actor, he is notably in the new Sex and the City show. I think even more notably he was a regular on The Closer with Kyra Sedgwick appearing in over 100 episodes. That’s what they call me at work. Kyra Sedgwick. Because I close.)
Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $29,481,428 (Worldwide: $29,481,428)
(That’s not half bad, but also not whole good. It was a wild time there where Matthew Perry was a decent romantic comedy leading man.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 34% (11/32): Only Fools Rush In to see a basic romantic comedy where opposites try to attract and find an unlikely happy ending.
(Yeah, on paper it is a standard formula with a few modern updates. There must have been something about Perry because it is a bit inexplicable that critics hated such harmless stuff … right? Were we just way harsher back then?)
NYT Short Review: A wisecracking New York WASP and a feisty latina have a shotgun wedding following a one-night stand.
(Someone here was having fun with what was otherwise a very bad and forgettable poster (look at that font. Gross). Look at that tiny NYC with those tiny twin towers. And look at the two cacti to the left of those. Clever girl. D+)
Tagline(s) – What if finding the love of your life meant changing the life that you loved? (C-)
(I know you meant well and were on the right track, but I didn’t finish reading that because it’s like a Charles Dickens novel. Are you being paid by the word? Can’t even fit on the poster in legible font.)
Keyword(s) – daddio
Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), The Godfather (1972), Scarface (1983), 12 Angry Men (1957), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Back to the Future Part II (1989), Dead Poets Society (1989), Citizen Kane (1941), The Game (1997), Dumb and Dumber (1994)
Future BMT: 79.0 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 58.9 Jury Duty (1995), 57.4 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.1 Ghost Dad (1990), 50.8 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.5 Sleepwalkers (1992), 49.3 My Girl 2 (1994), 46.4 Daddy Day Care (2003), 44.6 Man of the House (1995), 41.6 My Baby’s Daddy (2004), 41.6 Speed Zone (1989), 41.3 Club Paradise (1986), 38.9 Fled (1996), 38.3 My Father the Hero (1994), 38.0 Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), 36.9 Desperate Hours (1990), 35.9 Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984), 35.8 I Got the Hook Up (1998), 34.3 Spring Break (1983), 34.1 Father Hood (1993)
BMT: Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Cool as Ice (1991), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Poltergeist III (1988), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Fire Birds (1990), Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989), Virtuosity (1995), Double Impact (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Iron Eagle (1986), Rambo III (1988), High School High (1996), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Clifford (1994), Man Trouble (1992), Leviathan (1989), Universal Soldier (1992), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), The Postman (1997), Fools Rush In (1997), Eraser (1996), Hackers (1995), Rising Sun (1993), Magic in the Water (1995), Lock Up (1989), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Best Options (Romance): 38.3 My Father the Hero (1994), 34.3 Spring Break (1983), 32.2 It Takes Two (1995), 28.1 Fools Rush In (1997), 22.7 Moonlight and Valentino (1995), 20.1 Art School Confidential (2006), 18.3 The Art of Getting By (2011), 16.7 Mr. Destiny (1990)
(My God, My Father the Hero is going to be a wild one eventually. I remember seeing it in pieces on television way back, and fat Gerard Depardieu shambling about with very young women around him is harrowing to say the least. Glad we didn’t do that one. This is the main genuine option in my opinion if you wanted one that played on a birthday.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Matthew Perry is No. 1 billed in Fools Rush In and No. 2 billed in The Whole Ten Yards, which also stars Bruce Willis (No. 1 billed) who is in Armageddon (No. 1 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 3 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 15. If we were to watch Like a Boss we can get the HoE Number down to 13.
Notes – The role of Alex’s (Matthew Perry) father is played by John Bennett Perry, who is actually Matthew Perry’s father.
Before the movie was filmed, there was no Arizona/Nevada “border” painted on the highway that spans the Hoover Dam. When it was added for the movie, local officials decided to keep it intact after the filming of the movie. As of September 2005 the border painted in the street is no longer there.
Jennifer Lopez was offered the role of Isabel Fuentes but turned it down in favor of Anaconda (1997).
John Bennett Perry (Alex’s father), Matthew Perry’s father, was in another of his son’s work. He played the father of Joshua, Rachel’s boyfriend, on FRIENDS. They would also play father and son in an episode of Scrubs.
Matthew Perry credits a jet ski accident on the set of this film as fuelling his addiction with prescription drugs
View from the Top is part of a specific group of BMT films that I think needs a bit of discussion. This is one of six films that qualify for BMT that were delayed because of the September 11th attacks. It was the longest delayed (for almost two years) and only the second we have watched for BMT (the other is Bad Company). So we only have four more left. These are Collateral Damage, Windtalkers, Deuces Wild, and The Time Machine. Clearly not enough to make a cycle on its own, but it’s possible you could cobble together a cycle from films that were affected by September 11th in some way (like Mr. Deeds)… but let’s just say we could do that rather than we will do that. Cycles are supposed to be fun. This imaginary cycle? Not fun.
To recap, Gwenyth Paltrow just wants to get out of her dead end Nevada town. So when she sees an interview with a flight attendant turned author, she decides it’s time to fly. Starting at a small airline she learns the ropes and soon finds that she’s pretty darn good at it. She makes a couple friends and meets a cute guy, but sky’s the limit for her and soon she’s off to try out for the big time at Royalty Airlines. She ends up as the star pupil of training, but is shocked when her test scores land her on the commuter Cleveland route, while her ditzy and ethically challenged friend, Christine, gets the Paris route. She asks for a retest, but is denied. But everything turns out OK when she is not only great at her job, but she reconnects with the cute guy, Mark Ruffalo. After a chance meeting with Christine reveals her complete lack of knowledge of what was on their test, Paltrow again asks to look at the test and finds that Christine swapped their sheets. Royalty busts Christine and Paltrow takes her rightful place on the Paris route. She has everything she ever wanted, right? Wrong. Cause she had to leave Ruffalo behind. One lonely Christmas she finally realizes that life isn’t about the Paris route, but about being happy and runs to Raffalo. We see later that she becomes a pilot in Cleveland. THE END.
If that whole recap seemed unusually earnest and lacking in the typical jokes, that’s because the film itself is unusually earnest and lacking in the typical jokes. I actually found myself liking this film a lot. It’s very sweet. Paltrow’s character looks around at her circumstances and says “No,” and works hard to see the world, find her place in it, and be happy. This all rings true to me and I enjoy seeing Paltrow’s character succeed. It makes me happy. There are two major problems that the film has to battle. One is that the director didn’t seem interested in the story they were telling, or perhaps didn’t know what he was doing with a film of this scope. It’s hard to say, but there seemed to be some trouble in stitching the film together in the editing room. There are so many cliche rom com musical cues that it starts to feel like an inside joke. Like he was like “whatever, here’s a pile of footage, just make your dumb American rom com with it, I don’t care.” The second hurdle is a Robin Williams-esque performance by Mike Myers. He’s incredibly distracting and, given when the film was made, portends his imminent fall from superstar status. I’m sure the set was a ball to be on with all his gags and jokes, and he certainly is the only one trying to make the film a comedy, but boy… I much preferred the sweetness of the rest of the film to whatever he was up to. Still, I kinda like this one.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Do I smell a long con? Paltrow’s character definitely knows that Christine is not fit for the flight attendant life. She is the worst in the class and a kleptomaniac and sitting right in front of her for the test. She knew what she did. She knew it and did it on purpose. Why? Cause she had to get to Cleveland to land Ruffalo. It’s all a ruse, guys, she just wants that sweet Ruffalo action and then when she’s landed the fish she busts Christine (knowing that she would leave her telltale hearts punctuated “i’s” on the test). Off the Paris she goes to establish her cred before heading back to Cleveland to get her Ruffalo Buffalo (as she calls him). It’s a classic double long con. Can’t believe you all didn’t get that. Hot Take Temperature: Betty White.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! What are we talking about? Are we talking about a much delayed romantic comedy about flight attendants completely co-opted by a cross-eyed Mike Meyers? Let’s go!
Just to get this out of the way: this movie is pretty charming, and I don’t quite get all the hubbub about it. Like, the chief complaint is that it is aggressively capitalistic? I didn’t really read that. And fine, it was advertised as a silly comedy starring Mike Meyers, but in reality he’s the worst part of the film, and the film is never funny. At best its characters end up in amusing circumstances and are themselves somewhat amusing.
Yeah, if you ever need an example of a person who’s “in another film”, Mike Meyers in View from the Top is the prime example. He sweeps in, chews scenery, does his Mike Meyers thing, all in the middle of basically You’ve Got Mail. An amusing romance film … with a cross-eyed Mike Meyers stuck to the middle of it. For a while you forget the movie is a romcom when he’s around. It is weird.
The film is basically split into four parts with unfunny montages between them. (1) Starts with a montage of Donna growing up. (2) Poor Donna living in Nevada who then gets a job as a flight attendant. (3) Montage of her getting better at it and getting a mentee. (4) Royalty Airline training school intro. (5) Getting better at that montage. (6) Cleveland and meeting up with Ted again, getting the Paris gig. (7) Paris montage and getting sad. (8) Conclusion.
You know … that classic four act structure. If there is a chief complaint from me, it is that they could have cut out all the Paris stuff. She could have just aced the test and then realized that Cleveland is pretty awesome, and she just wanted everyone to know she aced the test, that she didn’t really care about Paris and that junk now. Now you have a tight three act script.
By far the most exciting part of the film is when they reveal that with her hectic schedule and Ted going to law school / having a job to pay for that, that Donna watches TNT constantly and is watching Ghost starring the Swayz on TNT during the movie. Unfortunately, I don’t (yet) have the data for 2000 which is very much the most likely year this film takes place in, but Ghost didn’t play on TNT in 1999 according to my data, BUT … it did play on its sister channel TBS which means it could plausibly play on TNT in 2000. Time will tell.
Despite the often anachronistic costumes you can at least pinpoint the film to definitely taking plays sometime a year or two after Ghost came out, and prior to 9/11, so in that 1993-2001 range for sure, but most likely 2000.
I mean, that is an awesome Product Placement (What?) for the excellent cinematic showings on offer every day on TNT. The film is a bit of a road trip film, but let’s go Setting as a Character (Where?) for America’s Waiting Room of Cleveland, Ohio. It’s been a minute since we saw a Secret Holiday Film (When?), but the revelation that Donna loves Ted (and Cleveland) comes to her on a very lonely Christmas, and an ugly Christmas sweater plays a big part in the film. And a definitely Worst Twist (How?) for the hugely telegraphed reveal that Christine, Donna’s ex-best friend, swapped her tests causing her to be sentenced to a lifetime of hard labor in Cleveland (ugh!). And dare I say it … this film is closest to Good, I genuinely choked up at the end at her desperately wishing she for her to choose love over her career.
Read about the thriller sequel in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Oh man, so get this. I’m just a country girl from Nevada and I want to just get out of here. One problem, I bopped my head on my first trip on an airplane and now I can’t remember a thing! Do you remember what happened in View from the Top?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Why did Paltrow decide on becoming a flight attendant?
2) Meetcute alert! Ruffalo is lake patrol. And how do they meet exactly?
3) When Paltrow gets into the Royalty Training School she gets to meet Bergen. What does Bergen see in her that makes her believe Paltrow can make it?
4) Aw but she failed the test and now has to live in Cleveland. But how? How did she fail the test?
5) Finally, she’s made it to Paris International! She did it! Well … but now she’s sad. Everything kind of just works out from here on … but most importantly what movie was Paltrow watching on TNT in the middle of the movie?
Bonus Question: Welp she’s a pilot now. That’s fun. While flying though, she gets a call. Who is it?
“Glimmer Man, reveal yourself!” Patrick yells, trying to imbue his voice with a sense of confidence. But it’s all false bravado. They had to wonder, were their twin chops as potent without BMT? They jump as they suddenly hear a clatter from above. “He must be heading for the roof,” Jamie murmurs. Patrick smirks. “Guess this guy doesn’t know us very well.” Five minutes and half a jar of margarine later and Jamie and Patrick are slip-sliding their way through the steam pipes of the arena. It’s classic Bad Movie Twins, their abs creating sweet rhythms on every bump and seam in the pipe like a robot walking along a cobblestone street. Using their knowledge of advanced physics they shoot their way to the roof of the arena and burst out of the pipe right in front of their watcher. They go in for a devastating Twin Chop but pause mere inches from the man’s jugular. Their mouths drop open in surprise. “Kyle?!” they exclaim and Kyle smiles. “Classic Bad Movie Twins,” he says, taking one look at their margarine greased abs. Jamie and Patrick are speechless and Kyle becomes serious. “I’m sorry I had to play this game of cat and mouse with you, but I had to get you away from the Dudikoff’s. They aren’t who you think they are,” Kyle says. Jamie and Patrick begin to protest, but Kyle instead pulls them in for a hug. “Listen to me. I’m also not who you think I am… I’m here to show you your future.” Suddenly Jamie and Patrick realize why it was so hard to catch Kyle. “You’re a ghost?” They ask and he nods. “Now take my hand, and look to the horizon,” Kyle says, and with that they jump from the roof of the arena. That’s right! We are taking in a view from the top by watching, you guessed it, View from the Top. It’s always surprised me just how bad the reviews for this film were, so let’s see if it lives up to its BMT billing. Let’s go!
View from the Top (2003) – BMeTric: 51.7; Notability: 53
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 9.6%; Notability: top 10.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 10.6%; Higher BMeT: The Room, Gigli, House of the Dead, The Cat in the Hat, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, From Justin to Kelly, Kangaroo Jack, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde, My Boss’s Daughter, Darkness Falls, The Foreigner, Biker Boyz, The Haunted Mansion, Agent Cody Banks, Cold Creek Manor, The Medallion, Marci X, Honey, Hollywood Homicide, The Order, and 4 more; Higher Notability: The Matrix Revolutions, Bad Boys II, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, Scary Movie 3, Brother Bear, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The Haunted Mansion, Timeline, The Cat in the Hat, Gods and Generals, Hollywood Homicide, Tears of the Sun, The Core, Paycheck, Cradle 2 the Grave, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life, Duplex, Agent Cody Banks, Wonderland, Beyond Borders, and 7 more; Lower RT: Dorm Daze, The Foreigner, Hangman’s Curse, Gold Diggers, House of the Dead, Gigli, Kangaroo Jack, From Justin to Kelly, Grind, My Boss’s Daughter, Gods and Generals, Marci X, Darkness Falls, The Cat in the Hat, The Order, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, A Man Apart, Alex & Emma, National Security, Cold Creek Manor, and 5 more; Notes: I’m pretty stunned at the number of high BMeT films from 2003 we haven’t seen (officially) for BMT. I guess there thing is I’ve seen Dumb and Dumberer and Darkness Falls on my own. Still though, a bunch I haven’t seen. Very impressive 50-50 BMeT + Notability. The 100 club.
RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – The movie, directed by Bruno Barreto and written by Eric Wald, is surprising for what it doesn’t contain: No scenes involving mile-high clubs, lecherous businessmen or randy pilots, but the sincere story of a woman who finds her career is almost but not quite enough. Adult audiences may be underwhelmed. Not younger teenage girls, who will be completely fascinated.
(Awwwww, I do love sentimental Roger. He is probably at least somewhat right, but it is stunning when he comes off the top rope with “this movie isn’t for all of you” to his fellow critics. I checked and Leonard gave it a 2 specifically calling out Meyers for seemingly coming from a different film.)
(Ha I remember this trailer. I find it crazy how prominent they make Meyers in a film which, in reality, is not that much of a comedy. But I imagine they realized they had to capitalize on him being one of the biggest comedic stars at the time.)
Directors – Bruno Barreto – ( Known For: Gabriela; Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands; Reaching for the Moon; Carried Away; Four Days in September; Última Parada 174; A Show of Force; One Tough Cop; Bossa Nova; Happily Ever After; Romeo & Juliet …Get Married; Tati; The Story of Fausta; BMT: View from the Top; Notes: He seems to have mostly done Brazilian (adjacent at least) films, then this, and then went back to Brazilian films maybe. Was the second husband of Steven Spielberg’s first wife.)
Writers – Eric Wald – ( BMT: View from the Top; Notes: Wrote this script in a class at film school. He created and wrote a television series called Sirens which seemingly ran for multiple seasons.)
Actors – Gwyneth Paltrow – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Se7en; Avengers: Infinity War; Iron Man; Spider-Man: Homecoming; The Avengers; The Royal Tenenbaums; Iron Man Three; Iron Man 2; The Talented Mr. Ripley; Shakespeare in Love; Contagion; Shallow Hal; Austin Powers in Goldmember; Sliding Doors; Emma; A Perfect Murder; Hard Eight; Malice; Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow; Future BMT: Hook; Great Expectations; Moonlight and Valentino; Country Strong; Hush; Shout; BMT: View from the Top; Mortdecai; Notes: Possibly even more famous for Goop than being an actress at this point. She seems a little like a kook if I’m being honest, but to each their own. Won an Oscar for Shakespeare in Love.)
Christina Applegate – ( Known For: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy; Mars Attacks!; Bad Moms; The Book of Life; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; The Rocker; Going the Distance; Wonderland; Nowhere; The Big Hit; Employee of the Month; Crash Pad; Streets; Grand Theft Parsons; Sol Goode; Youth in Oregon; Farce of the Penguins; Jaws of Satan; Out in Fifty; Claudine’s Return; Future BMT: Vacation; Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead; Hall Pass; Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel; Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked; A Bad Moms Christmas; Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip; Mafia!; Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore; Just Visiting; Surviving Christmas; BMT: The Sweetest Thing; View from the Top; Wild Bill; Notes: She’s had a fun career. Nominated 8 times for Emmys (won once for a guest spot on Friends). She was launched to television stardom for Married with Children (over 250 episodes), and is still a huge television star.)
Kelly Preston – ( Known For: Jerry Maguire; From Dusk Till Dawn; Sky High; Twins; Gotti; Christine; SpaceCamp; Mischief; For Love of the Game; Amazon Women on the Moon; 10 to Midnight; Waiting to Exhale; Citizen Ruth; 52 Pick-Up; Addicted to Love; Off the Rails; Spellbinder; The Experts; Eulogy; Daddy and Them; Future BMT: What a Girl Wants; Death Sentence; From Paris with Love; The Last Song; Nothing to Lose; Secret Admirer; Jack Frost; Holy Man; Run; BMT: The Cat in the Hat; Battlefield Earth; View from the Top; Old Dogs; Notes: She was married to John Travolta for years and years and sadly died from cancer a few years ago.)
Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $15,614,000 (Worldwide: $19,526,014)
(Yeah that’s rough. I remember when this came out and it was a huge bomb.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 14% (17/125): Uneven in tone and badly edited, A View From the Top wastes the talents of its cast and condescends to its characters.
(Badly edited. Boy howdy, I need to see this now! That seems like a rare consensus critique to come out of RT.)
NY Times Short Review: The satire is toothless, the romance … tepid, the portrait of stewardesses is dumb, jiggly babes anachronistic. Mike Myers has a small, unfunny role as a flight-attendant trainer with a crossed eye.
(I like the colors and I like the font. Don’t like much else about it. It also tells you almost nothing about the film… like why would anyone want to see this? The whole aesthetic is odd, as well. For so long I thought this was a period piece, presumably because of this poster. I also thought Ewan McGregor was in it… presumably because this aesthetic reminded me of Down with Love. C+)
Tagline(s) – Don’t stop till you reach the top. (B)
(How about… once you top the fun don’t stop? No? Well this is OK, I guess. Reminds me of a song, which is nice and it’s nice and short. It actually does kind of tell you what the film is about: corporate ladder climbing. OK.)
Keyword(s) – canada
Top 10: The Matrix Revolutions (2003), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Venom (2018), The Butterfly Effect (2004), Armageddon (1998), In Time (2011), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 2012 (2009), Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)
Future BMT: 90.3 Vampires Suck (2010), 89.9 House of the Dead (2003), 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 79.6 Shark Night (2011), 78.9 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.9 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 74.0 The Spirit (2008), 73.9 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 73.1 The Turning (2020), 72.5 Mr. Magoo (1997), 71.8 Dance Flick (2009), 71.7 Zoom (2006), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.8 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 68.6 Captivity (2007), 68.3 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.3 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.0 The Flintstones (1994)
BMT: Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Wicker Man (2006), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), The Love Guru (2008), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Movie 43 (2013), Barb Wire (1996), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Jason X (2001), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Little Man (2006), Ouija (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), After Earth (2013), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Caddyshack II (1988), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), Jonah Hex (2010), Species II (1998), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), … (and many more)
Best Options (Romance): 74.9 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 53.3 Abandon (2002), 53.2 Aloha (2015), 52.1 Loser (2000), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 49.4 Monster-in-Law (2005), 49.4 The Perfect Man (2005), 48.1 Surviving Christmas (2004), 47.7 Sleepover (2004), 47.0 On the Line (2001), 46.7 You, Me and Dupree (2006), 46.5 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), 46.3 Slackers (2002), 45.1 The Ex (2006), 45.0 Home Fries (1998), 43.3 John Tucker Must Die (2006), 42.2 Autumn in New York (2000), 42.0 You Again (2010), 40.4 Intersection (1994), 40.3 Admission (2013), 40.3 Soul Man (1986), 40.2 Bubble Boy (2001), … (and many more)
(Yeah finally we actually got one that starred a bone fide born-in-Canada Canadian! This is night and high up on the list, and we had to pick out a Meyers to go somewhere.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Gwyneth Paltrow is No. 1 billed in View from the Top and No. 2 billed in Mortdecai, which also stars Paul Bettany (No. 4 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 2 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (4 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 16. If we were to watch Moonlight and Valentino, Must Love Dogs, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 12.
Notes – The segment where the trainee flight attendants at Royalty Airways are undergoing training by John Witney (Mike Myers) included a lesson on how to deal with terrorists. The scene was cut from the film, and was not included on the DVD release as a deleted scene.
In 2019, British actor/writer/director Richard Ayoade found “View from the Top” so appallingly awful in every way that he wrote a book dedicated to the film, “Ayoade on Top.” He stated that he wanted to analyze the film as if it were Citizen Kane (1941).
This film wrapped filming in 2001, and was originally scheduled for a Christmas 2001 release, then after initial tests, an April 2002 release. However, after the terrorist attacks on the U.S. of September 11, 2001, the studio felt it was not appropriate to release a comedy which made light of airline flight crews. After another year in the can, and another round of edits which cut out cameo appearances by Robert Stack and Regis Philbin, the film was finally released in summer 2003. It promptly flopped and disappeared.
The character of John Whitney, played by Mike Myers, was cross-eyed. His office features photos of prominent real life figures with eye afflictions: Sammy Davis Jr. (who lost left eye in a car accident), Marty Feldman (had Graves’ ophthalmopathy, causing his eyes to protrude and become misaligned), and Peter Falk (His right eye was surgically removed when he was three because of a retinoblastoma, he wore an artificial eye for most of his life)
In an interview Gwyneth Paltrow admitted that she thought this was a terrible movie. This interview can be seen as a bonus feature on the DVD release of Thanks for Sharing (2012).
I do enjoy going back and looking at The New York Times from the day when one of our BMT films was released. The Wedding Planner is a fun one because it’s January 26, 2001 and so there is a whole mess of Ravens-Giants Super Bowl content. But I wasn’t there for the Dilfer-Collins mildly entertaining milk advertisements:
I was there for The Wedding Planner and… meh. Just pretty much the poster and a couple choice quotes about how JLo has “it.” So per usual I went straight to the TV listings to see if any of the descriptions there were appropriate for the title at hand. Was The Wedding Planner “junk” like Night Shift? Was it “ornate and ridiculous” like Steel Dawn? A “crude morality play” like Any Given Sunday or “grindingly predictable” like The Crush? No, none of these. But the Jeff Fahey film Virtual Seduction probably gets the closest with “Trouble when man recalls fiance.” That about sums it up.
To recap, JLo is working hard (not hardly working) at planning the biggest and bestest weddings in San Fran. Working so hard, in fact, that she has no time for her own love life. That is until she’s saved by Matthew McConaughey, a handsome pediatrician who seems like a perfect catch. Just one problem: he’s engaged. Make that two problems: he’s engaged to her new client. So now she can’t lose the account or she loses her chance at a big promotion. Egad! What a series of unfortunate coincidences! Everywhere she looks McConaughey is being lame in a handsome kind of way. It also doesn’t help that at the same time her father set her up with Massimo, an Italian stereotype played by Justin Chambers in a horror show of a performance. Both McConaughey and his fiance have second thoughts, but JLo is too much of a pro to do anything but help them get to the altar. Even after McConaughey expresses his feelings for her, she’s like ‘no, I don’t even like you,’ and throws pebbles at him till he runs back to his fiance. Forlorn, she decides to marry the offensive, but also kind of sweet Massimo. On the day of the wedding, JLo forgoes the festivities to marry Massimo at Town Hall. McConaughey ends up calling off the wedding and is happy to find that JLo also decided at the last minute to stop her own wedding. They reunite and smooch for hours. THE END.
This is a tough one. On the one hand JLo is a shining beacon. So beautiful. So talented. She’s a catch. A perfect 10. I also found the film to be oddly well directed given that it was a first time director that went on to a less than illustrious career. But he seemed to have a clear idea of what he wanted to do with this and I thought he did it pretty well. On the other hand McConaughy appears to think he’s being charming in an aloof kind of way, but it comes across as smarmy and unpleasant. He’s a handsome guy who has a personality of a 2. Red flags on top of red flags. At this point the whole film would be a bit of a wash… maybe a slight positive even. But throw in Justin Chambers and, boy howdy. I like Grey’s Anatomy, so he will always be Karev to me. And thank goodness, because I’m sure he doesn’t want to be Massimo forever. Horrible. Just horrible.
Hot Take Clam Bake! The whole thing is a dream that happens after JLo is squashed by the dumpster. The last person she sees is handsome, lame McConaughey. In the last firing of her synapses we get The Wedding Planner. McConaughey is in reality a real estate agent who dabbles in day trading. He ultimately can’t reach her in time, but in a positive twist to the otherwise horrific tragedy this ends up helping him realize that his day trading is more of a hobby. He decides then and there to focus more on his real estate career, which is going OK since people seem to like him when he talks softly and smiles a bunch. Years later his wife, who he met at a local real estate convention, would catch him staring sadly at a dumpster and ask “you OK, babe?” and he would just say “yeah” softly and smile. Hot Take Temperature: Chilly, like the fog rolling off Frisco Bay.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! The Wedding Planner? Well this forecast calls for rain! Let’s go!
I just have to say this off the bat. And to be clear, I am a happily married man, wouldn’t trade any of this for the world but … was turn of the century Jennifer Lopez the most beautiful woman ever? It is mind boggling. Literally, completely perplexing that she existed. Is it because of the built up Jenny From the Block persona? Were we all tricked into thinking she was just a girl-next-door and not a devastatingly beautiful and completely unattainable woman? This is the second movie where it is almost distracting how beautiful she is (the other being Money Train).
I’m sorry but I just have to make this 100% clear. While watching this film Jennifer Lopez is so attractive I looked at Matthew McConaughey and thought “Yeah, she’s out of your league bud”. I looked at him and went “unattractive, hard pass” because my mind was tricked by what an attractive human being was. He’s also a genuine garbage man, so what does literally-so-attractive-J-Lo-that-she’s-an-11 see in him again? Awww he works with kids … for one second, and then he pretty much immediately turns around and starts to think about cheating on his fiancee. Trash man!
Just one last thing though, like … J-Lo is so hard working that she can’t find a date. Once again, movie, you are incorrect. The many billionaires of the Pacific Northwest would have left their fiancees during the wedding once they glimpsed J-Lo (their wedding planner) in real life. Their fiancees would have taken one look at her and said “no thank you, you aren’t getting within 100 miles of my wedding.” Mrs. Sampras, are you dumb?
I guess wait … do I have a hot take? Hot Take! Mrs. Sampras knew exactly what she was doing because Mrs. Sampras, either unconsciously or consciously, wanted to sabotage her own wedding! She’d been hunting around for the perfect wedge to drive between herself and McConaughey and finally found it in this siren, J-Lo.
Oh … I spent the whole time talking about how J-Lo is too attractive to be in romantic comedies since there is no one that can actually be viewed as equivalently attractive while standing next to her. The movie is pretty fun, for a romantic comedy, even if the wedding at the core is very messy and muddled and they never quite make it clear that the two people like each other at all.
I suppose one bone I’ll throw to them is that they did somewhat successfully save Sampras from Baxter-ization by having her break it off with McConaughey instead.
And that bone is taken away by Justin Chambers as Massimo, an Italian caricature who doesn’t belong in any movie, let alone this one.
Definite amazing Product Placement (What?) for M&Ms which play a prominent role in the courtship between J-Lo and McConaughey. Setting as a Character (Where?) for the somewhat inexplicable setting of San Francisco when L.A. would have made much much much more sense. And obvious Worst Twist (How?) for the ultimate get-together at the outdoor film screening at the art museum. Closest to Good I think, although I would hear arguments otherwise.
Read about the long awaited sequel in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Oh jeez. There I was in the street when my high heel got stuck in a grate (natch). And lo and behold a dumpster is coming towards me, I sure do hope a handsome lad can save me … nope, I just got completely owned by that dumpster. And now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Wedding Planner?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) In the beginning of the film we are introduced to our hero J-Lo. She is a wedding planner (shocking) and she needs to get her social life in order. Don’t worry, her elderly father is on the case. Who does he try and hook her up with and how does she know him?
2) What is Matthew McConaughey’s job?
3) At one point McConaughey explained how he met his fiancee. How?
4) In the end McConaughey obviously chooses J-Lo. Where does he go to meet her?
5) Why does McConaughey only eat the brown M&Ms?
Bonus Question: We got to plan J-Lo and McConaughey’s wedding. Where is it?
Jamie and Patrick sit in their cell. Having kicked Kevin James’ head clean off it’s not a surprise they were arrested, but they are still in a bit of shock. “Looks like you’ll be going to jail for a looong time. Hoooo weeeee,” the jailor at the Smith County Jail whistles in delight, “You kicked his head clean off. Boy oh boy, what I wouldn’t give to see that again.” Just as he begins to reminisce he hears a call from the other room. Turns out there was extensive footage from the event taken from cell phone cameras and security footage. It’s already been edited into a 30 minute short film available online and is an early front runner for Best Documentary Short. He rushes into the other room to relive the greatest moment of his life. Jamie and Patrick sigh. Just then the Smith County judge walks in. “Bad Movie Twins,” he scowls, “you kicked a man’s head clean off and I think you know that you deserve to be in jail for a looong time.” Everyone in the room nods. “In fact, if I had it my way,” he continues, “you’d get the ‘lectric chair.” Again, everyone kind of agrees. Kevin James was a national treasure. “But,” he unexpectedly continues, “there is a little known precedent set in fair use law that states that while parody is protected under the first amendment, kicking the head clean off of the person doing the parody is, in itself, a parody… and so it is protected under the law.” With that he frees Jamie and Patrick, much to the delight of the crowd. A female police officer rushes up to Jamie. “Marry me!” she screams and Jamie shrugs. Sure, why not? A celebrity wedding appears to be what the people want. That’s right! We are watching the JLo classic, The Wedding Planner. Who can even remember anyone else in it. JLo! Let’s go!
The Wedding Planner (2001) – BMeTric: 57.2; Notability: 47
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 6.0%; Notability: top 13.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.3%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Valentine, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Monkeybone, Hannibal, Impostor, Not Another Teen Movie, Ghosts of Mars, Bubble Boy, Scary Movie 2, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, The One, The Affair of the Necklace, Town & Country, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Don’t Say a Word, Texas Rangers, and 13 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Head Over Heels, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, Double Take, and 14 more; Notes: Aw hell yeah, it isn’t every day we can hit up a high profile early 2000s bad movie classic. And guess what? The Animal? It’s on the docket. Although that one I’ve seen … like 4 times. I saw it in theaters.
RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Jennifer Lopez looks soulfully into the eyes of Matthew McConaughey, but is he looking back? One of the many problems of “The Wedding Planner” is that we can’t tell and don’t much care. When a plot depends on two people falling in love when they absolutely should not, we have to be able to believe at some level that they have been swept up by a destiny beyond their control. McConaughey seems less inflamed by his sudden new romance than resigned to it.
(Hahahahahaha, hell yeah. That sounds hilarious. Like, a romcom where everyone kind of sucks?)
(They do a good job making them not seem like horrible people in a way. But man … J-Lo is distracting. Don’t worry, I get very deep into it in the recap. Some people would argue too deep. Way too deep.)
Directors – Adam Shankman – ( Known For: Hairspray; Disenchanted; Rock of Ages; What Men Want; Future BMT: Bedtime Stories; BMT: A Walk to Remember; The Pacifier; The Wedding Planner; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Bringing Down the House; Notes: He was nominated for two Emmys, both for organizing the 2010 Academy Awards ceremony.)
Writers – Pamela Falk – ( Known For: An Invisible Sign; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: Those are her only credits, and there isn’t any other info on her online.)
Michael Ellis – ( BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: The only other thing in either of their profiles is an untitled Falk/Ellis project, so I assume there are writing partners in some capacity.)
Actors – Jennifer Lopez – ( Known For: The Mother; Shotgun Wedding; Hustlers; The Cell; Marry Me; Home; Out of Sight; Parker; Selena; U Turn; Second Act; Jersey Girl; Antz; Shall We Dance; An Unfinished Life; My Family; Bordertown; Lila & Eve; Blood and Wine; El cantante; Future BMT: Enough; Maid in Manhattan; Monster-in-Law; Jack; Ice Age: Continental Drift; Ice Age: Collision Course; Angel Eyes; The Back-up Plan; Feel the Noise; BMT: The Boy Next Door; The Wedding Planner; Anaconda; Gigli; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Money Train; Notes: Man we have a ton to go. Nominated for an Emmy for the Superbowl Halftime show. Originally I wanted to do this film because I was convinced it was the subject of one really old episode of a podcast I missed … turned out that was Maid in Manhattan.)
Matthew McConaughey – ( Known For: Interstellar; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Gentlemen; Dazed and Confused; Sing 2; A Time to Kill; Tropic Thunder; Contact; Sing; Magic Mike; Dallas Buyers Club; How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; We Are Marshall; Mud; The Lincoln Lawyer; Frailty; Reign of Fire; White Boy Rick; Killer Joe; Amistad; Future BMT: Angels in the Outfield; The Dark Tower; Sahara; Two for the Money; Paparazzi; My Boyfriend’s Back; Larger Than Life; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Tiptoes; Fool’s Gold; Failure to Launch; Serenity; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; Notes: Won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club. Famously from Houston. At one point he was rumored to be running for governor of Texas in 2022, but he didn’t.)
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras – ( Known For: Billy Madison; Higher Learning; Nixon; Shopgirl; Buying the Cow; The Real Blonde; The Suburbans; Unhook the Stars; Phantom Punch; Nevada; Starstruck; Future BMT: Last Action Hero; House on Haunted Hill; Beautiful; Just Visiting; Love Stinks; BMT: Mortal Kombat; I Know What You Did Last Summer; The Wedding Planner; Extreme Ops; Notes: As you can tell by her name she married Pete Sampras, best tennis player of all time (or so we thought in like 2004 …). They have two children, the first of which should be out of college, and appears to be a model.)
(That’s kind of okay. Not anything spectacular at the time, but fine for a romantic comedy I would think.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (18/106): Instead of being light and charming, this romantic comedy is heavy-handed and contrived in its execution. Also, it’s too unoriginal.
(I would think all romantic comedies are unoriginal in their own way. The most successful ones always seem to be remakes.)
Reviewer Highlight: Title character falls for handsome client. Star charisma almost makes it work.
(Woof. And I mean, woof! That is everything bad in poster making. I usually refrain from saying this, because I’m an untalented fool. But… I could make a better poster for The Wedding Planner. F… I actually do think this is an F. It’s like a child made it.)
Tagline(s) – A romantic comedy about love, destiny and other events you just can’t plan for. (F)
(Is it done yet? Have they finished the tagline? Everything about that poster is a horror show.)
Keyword(s) – wisdom
Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)
BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), Zookeeper (2011), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Truth or Dare (2018), Jupiter Ascending (2015), Grown Ups 2 (2013), License to Wed (2007), The Wedding Planner (2001), Tom & Jerry (2021), Point Break (2015), After (2019), Batman Forever (1995), Congo (1995), House of Wax (2005), Down to You (2000), Bride Wars (2009), The Ring Two (2005), Killers (2010), The Tuxedo (2002), I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009), The Hustle (2019), Vampire Academy (2014), Bulletproof Monk (2003), Baywatch (2017), … (and many more)
Best Options (Romance): 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 61.9 Obsessed (2009), 57.5 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 57.2 The Wedding Planner (2001), 55.3 The Back-up Plan (2010), 54.8 Honey (2003), 53.1 Aloha (2015), 52.6 Just My Luck (2006), 52.1 Loser (2000), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 51.0 Little Fockers (2010), 49.9 Just Married (2003), 49.4 Monster-in-Law (2005), 48.1 Stomp the Yard (2007), 47.0 On the Line (2001), 46.7 You, Me and Dupree (2006), 46.5 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), 45.5 I Feel Pretty (2018), 43.3 John Tucker Must Die (2006), 43.2 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2003), 40.7 Mr. Deeds (2002), 40.6 The Break-Up (2006), 38.0 Whatever It Takes (2000), 37.7 Think Like a Man Too (2014), 36.5 A Cinderella Story (2004), 33.8 The Other Woman (2014), 33.8 Along Came Polly (2004), 33.3 Peeples (2013), 33.2 The Last Song (2010), 31.3 My Life in Ruins (2009), 31.2 Overboard (2018), 28.3 Chasing Liberty (2004), 26.9 Step Up 2: The Streets (2008), 24.8 Meet the Fockers (2004), 24.5 Dear John (2010), 21.9 The Ugly Truth (2009), 21.6 The Giver (2014), 21.5 The Lucky One (2012), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.1 Life as We Know It (2010), 16.9 The Beach (2000), 14.9 Grumpier Old Men (1995), 12.7 The Vow (2012), 9.3 P.S. I Love You (2007), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015), 7.8 Remember Me (2010)
(That’s pretty good … wait, why didn’t we do Maid in Manhattan!? That’s the one I wanted to do anyways. I guess I just didn’t realize both qualified or something.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jennifer Lopez is No. 1 billed in The Wedding Planner and No. 2 billed in Gigli, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 11. If we were to watch Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 10.
Notes – Jennifer Love Hewitt was developing a separate film with the same premise for her to star in but was forced to cancel the project when this film was released.
Bree Turner, who plays the bride needing comforting by Jennifer Lopez at the beginning of the movie, also opened another wedding movie, as a bridesmaid in the opening title sequence performance in My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997). Fan theories claim it was her playing the same character, still unlucky in love.
Franny’s Mother, played by Joanna Gleason, sings very badly in the movie and is asked numerous times by her daughter not to sing. In fact, Gleason has a very good singing voice and has appeared in several Broadway musicals, including “Into the Woods” for which she won the 1988 Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical.
Brendan Fraser was set to play the role of Dr. Steve/Eddie, but scheduling conflicts with filming the movie Bedazzled (2000) prevented him.
Sarah Michelle Gellar was originally set to star, but had to drop out because of scheduling conflicts from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997).
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress of the Decade (Jennifer Lopez)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Jennifer Lopez)
Man Trouble aired on TV on January 11th, 1997… but you had plenty of time to throw on Citizen Kane that day because, guess what? You had already watched Man Trouble in theaters five years earlier. “Been there, done that,” you think, recalling the stunning advertising scheme that launched you directly from your couch into the nearby cineplex:
Jack Nicholson and Ellen Barkin are the funniest AND sexiest couple of the summer? Sign me up, you thought. ‘Funny’ and ‘Sexy’ are the two words you immediately associated with Jack Nicholson and you couldn’t wait to see it sizzle on screen with EBark. Lo your disappointment when you learned that it was merely the second funniest and sexiest couple of the summer. That’s because it’s the summer of Universal Soldier, where JCVD and Dolph Lungren do some sizzling of their own. A sizzle so hot that Jack and EBark never stood a chance.
To recap, Ellen Barkin is a recently single opera singer who gets scared living alone following a break-in at her apartment. She asks to move in with her kooky sister, but she’s off for some surgery/rehab. She still moves into her sister’s house but begins looking for protection. Enter Jack Nicholson, an unpleasant, married, mildly racist owner of a floundering guard dog service. He’s happy to sell her a dog, nevermind that he doesn’t technically own the dog. Barkin is loving how ferocious this dog is, but still is quite spooked when she continues to receive creepy messages at the house and is even attacked by a masked man. Meanwhile Jack is approached by representatives from Barkin’s sister’s powerfully rich ex-boyfriend offering to pay him cash to steal an explosive memoir the sister is writing. Jack is hesitant because he kind of likes Barkin, but still takes the check cause he’s broke and is going to lose his business. After some steamy dates and some hot and heavy make-out sessions with Barkin, Jack ends up half-heartedly looking for the memoir, but drops it when he finds a gift that Barkin has bought for him. When Barkin gets a call from her sister claiming to have been taken prisoner by her ex, Barkin and Jack head out to find her. They end up saving her, but the ex reveals Jack’s falsehoods which ends their relationship. Later, Barkin is at practice with the symphony and gets a ride with one of her friends. Luckily Jack is following because what seemed to be a platonic male friend turns out to be the very person who has been terrorizing her! He’s been harboring resentment that she never liked him because of how much of a loser he is and now is ready to take it out on her. Not so fast! Here comes Jack and they battle it out. Having saved the day, Jack smooches Barken and they live happily ever after. THE END.
I’m not sure what happened here. You can see the skeleton of a film that delivers on what it appears to be selling: Jack Nicholson is a con artist of sorts who to cover his debts is convinced to gain the confidence of a woman so he can steal something of value. He begins to take advantage, but then unexpectedly finds that he’s catching some feelings (as the kids say) and then has to somehow unravel his own scheme. But most of what I just laid out appears to have been sanded away before production. Jack’s character is a bad person for sure, but also seems to be an actually good dog trainer who is trying to make an honest buck after striking out on his own. He is pretty much into Barkin from the jump, and she’s into him, and he helps her a bunch. He’s not even a con man as far as we can tell. If anything he seems more like a sad person who unexpectedly finds love. The tone is wildly off as a result of whatever they did to change the plot. It seems like it was meant to be a satire of romantic comedies with all kinds of jagged edges… but then they tried to turn it into a stereotypical rom com. The result is not funny and not sexy. It is well acted, though. That about sums it up.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Jack is in for a world of hurt with this relationship. First of all he’s already proven himself untrustworthy. Barkin knows he was married the whole time they knew each other and that is no bueno. Second, he’s lost his business which was already failing. Why was it failing? Because he has no business sense. So why did he own a business? Because he clearly was a great trainer, but had problems with authority. Methinks this dude is going to be unemployed for quite a while. Third, so why is Barkin going to hang around an unemployed liar? They must have a lot in common, right?… right?! Nope. Nothing in common. He’s a bore. She is an opera singer who loves literature. So now she has an unemployed, uninteresting liar bumming around her house. This relationship is lasting a month tops and then he’s out on his ass… unless Man Trouble 2: More Trouble. Jack starts to terrorize Barkin himself to get that magic back. Now that’s a con man! Hot Take Temperature: Original Sin.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Man Trouble? More like Won’t Chuckle! Amirite? A Jack Nicholson rom com I’ve never heard of where he plays a huge piece of garbage? Sign me up! Let’s go!
Read about the sequel Man Trouble 2: Cyber in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Oh man, so get this. I’m a garbage man and I just can’t control these a-wanderin’ hands. Well, let me tell you what, that really gets me into trouble. The people slapping my face kind of trouble. And they’re slapping my face hard. So hard that I have a concussion and possibly brain damage, and I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Man Trouble?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Jack Nicholson is, as I said, a garbage man. And not in the custodial sense, like he’s garbage. Anyways, what is his job?
2) And what is Ellin Barkin’s job? Also why is she in a spot of trouble?
3) Oh and what is Ellin Barkin’s sister’s job? Can you tell there isn’t much to really care about in this film?
4) And what is Harry Dean Stanton looking for? What does he offer Jack Nicholson to get it for him?
5) In the end what is the whole sordid tale? Where does Stanton stash the sister, what happens to the manuscript, and who was causing Ellen Barkin’s trouble and why?
Bonus Question: 30 years later and we see a phone rigging. That’s right, it’s the trailer for Man Trouble 2. Who answers?
Bad Movie Twins 