ice hockey – Bad Movie Twins

D3: The Mighty Ducks Preview

And by back-up plan he means bringing “back up” all the points he was already making (and more). Soon Jamie is back in the courtroom, having cited Resolution 4125 from 1933, whereby Hallston established that jury members had the right to cross examine witnesses. The entire third grade classroom of Dark Territory Elementary is shown a super rad video of Jamie himself performing samurai moves with his sword and then asked simple memory-based questions. They all fail. The teacher intervenes. “But sir, I was not distracted by the rad/horrifying nature of the murder,” she insists. Jamie scoffs. He measures out 300 yards between the teacher and the accused and asks for identification. No problem. He then stands, shirtless, next to the young man. The teacher’s eyes widen and a murmur can be heard from the gallery. The teacher has to admit, “It’s uncanny. I can’t tell the difference.” Three more of the witnesses give him a thumbs up. It’s now 9-3 for ‘not guilty.’ Suddenly, a hubbub can be heard in the back of the room. Ms. LaRouche’s boss, Mr. Duckworth, is loudly whispering and making dramatic hand gestures at her. “I demand to know what is going on here. I understand we want to set this young man free, but do we need this… this…” They hear him hiss, pointing at Jamie, “riff raff being the one doing it? We’ll never work in this town again!” Ms. LaRouche is trying to calm him down, but the damage is done. The jury can now smell blood in the water. They must be on the right track when even the big wig defense lawyers are getting cold feet. Two more votes change. Just one more hold out… Wrestlemania. “Thank you, Mr. Duckworth,” Jamie says softly and Ms. LaRouche smiles slyly. That’s right! Thank you, indeed, Mr. Ducksworth. Without you forcing Gordon Bombay into coaching hockey, we wouldn’t get to watch all three for BMT. Let’s go!

D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996) – BMeTric: 45.7; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 18.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 20.3%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Bio-Dome, Striptease, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Crow: City of Angels, Ed, Hellraiser: Bloodline, The Stupids, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard, Solo, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, The Glimmer Man, First Kid, Eddie; Higher Notability: Jingle All the Way, The Fan, Chain Reaction, Spy Hard, Daylight, Mulholland Falls, 101 Dalmatians, Eye for an Eye, Up Close & Personal, Eddie, The Associate, Dear God, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Sgt. Bilko, The Crow: City of Angels, The Adventures of Pinocchio, In Love and War, Space Truckers, Hellraiser: Bloodline, Dunston Checks In, and 27 more; Lower RT: The Dentist, Big Bully, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, Getting Away with Murder, Bio-Dome, Kazaam, Ed, Mr. Wrong, Faithful, Spy Hard, Eye for an Eye, Bulletproof, Solo, Curdled, House Arrest, The Glimmer Man, In Love and War, Larger Than Life, Down Periscope, Dear God, and 30 more; Notes: This played 19 times on television in the 90s. We’ve seen 11 of the higher 15 BMeTrics which is pretty good. The Stupids is probably the weirdest gap. It only played on television two times from what I can tell … odd, seems like that should have been a Comedy Central classic.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – Those adolescent hockey players have won scholarships to a fancy private school, where that have a new no-nonsense coach (Nordling) and find themselves outsiders in a snooty varsity league. Oh yes – and Charlie (Jackson) has a girlfriend. The Ducks franchise has run out of steam.

(I find it incredibly interesting that MAltin gave all three films the exact same number of reviews, but they all, seemingly, are slammed for different things. The first for being predictable. The second for being preposterous. And the last for rehashing everything.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFSmoKm6c5A/

(Oh yeah, that’s a VHS capture if I’ve ever seen it. It is too bad that for a moment Joshua Jackson was a terrible actor. He’s a great actor as an adult, but it got a bit weird in late stage Mighty Ducks.)

Directors – Robert Lieberman – ( Known For: Fire in the Sky; The Tortured; Breakaway; Table for Five; Future BMT: All I Want for Christmas; BMT: D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: It is wild he directed Fire in the Sky, freaky film. For years he did television, then did a few TV movies before he died in 2023.)

Writers – Steven Brill – ( Known For: Walk of Shame; Heavyweights; Future BMT: Ready to Rumble; BMT: Little Nicky; The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: Wow, he also wrote the screenplay for this! I genuinely find it very interesting he stuck out the whole trilogy.)

Kenneth Johnson – ( BMT: D3: The Mighty Ducks; Steel; Notes: A classic TV writer, e.g. The Incredible Hulk, and the original V miniseries. He only has a story credit here.)

Jim Burnstein – ( Known For: Love and Honor; Future BMT: Renaissance Man; BMT: D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: That is it, he is mostly a producer. Love and Honor looks wild. You might ask how it doesn’t qualify. It didn’t get released to enough theaters. But it stars Aimee Teegarden. You know … From Friday Night Lights. We only have one more qualifying film for her (some film called Prom?), but I genuinely forgot she was in Rings.)

Actors – Emilio Estevez – ( Known For: Mission: Impossible; The Breakfast Club; The Outsiders; Badlands; Young Guns; St. Elmo’s Fire; Bobby; Repo Man; The Way; Stakeout; Brats; The Public; Wisdom; The War at Home; Tex; Never on Tuesday; The L.A. Riot Spectacular; Sand; Future BMT: Loaded Weapon 1; Arthur and the Invisibles; Men at Work; Judgment Night; Another Stakeout; Nightmares; That Was Then… This Is Now; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; Young Guns II; Maximum Overdrive; D2: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Freejack; Notes: I’m running out of things to say, but let’s leave it by saying us not having done Men at Work yet with the Estevez/Sheen brothers is crazy.)

Jeffrey Nordling – ( Known For: Tron: Legacy; Sully; Quiz Show; Working Girl; Home of the Brave; Surfer, Dude; Flicka; Polish Wedding; The Locksmith; Turbulence 2: Fear of Flying; Ruby; Holy Matrimony; Love Hurts; Future BMT: Love Affair; BMT: D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: He kind of does one-off tv episodes at this point. He was Larry Moss in 24.)

David Selby – ( Known For: The Social Network; Equals; Unknown; White Squall; Newness; Are You Here; Inhale; End Game; Raise the Titanic; Rich and Famous; Night of Dark Shadows; Up the Sandbox; The Super Cops; Rich Kids; Back Fork; Headless Body in Topless Bar; Future BMT: Dark Shadows; Surviving Christmas; Dying Young; Intersection; BMT: D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: Is this a fake credit? I think this is the Dean of the school. How Joshua Jackson isn’t at least third billed is nuts. He’s the main character!)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $22,955,097 (Worldwide: $22,955,097)

(Yeah there it is. Now we are looking at halving the output. A D4: The Might Ducks: Minor Leagues sequel was never in the works.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (3/15)

(Another consensus: This movie is literally the same movie as the other two movies so why did they make it and why am I watching it?)

Reviewer Highlight: The Mighty Ducks, Minnesota’s underdog kid hockey team, are back again, in a third version of more or less the same story.

Poster – B3: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

(Back to at least feeling more artistic. My immediate reaction though is to squint at the tiny characters on the poster and thinking “Wait, is that Coach Bombay?” Notably not their coach in this film. C+.)

Tagline(s) – No Fear. No Limits. No Brakes. Just Ducks. (B)

(Pure distilled Ducks, babbbyyyyyy. None of these things really describe the third film. In fact this is much more like the second, totally ridiculous film. Still. They were trying here.)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

Top 10: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Green Lantern (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Ghost Rider (2007), The Happening (2008), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), The Mummy (2017)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 87.9 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 78.2 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.1 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Battlefield Earth (2000), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Catwoman (2004), Jack and Jill (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), The Emoji Movie (2017), Cats (2019), Gigli (2003), Scary Movie V (2013), Alone in the Dark (2005), Jaws: The Revenge (1987), The Last Airbender (2010), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), The Wicker Man (2006), Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), Madame Web (2024), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Jaws 3-D (1983), Troll 2 (1990), The Love Guru (2008), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), The Avengers (1998), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Fantastic Four (2015), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Norbit (2007), …

Best Options (franchise): 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 76.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 75.3 The Grudge (2019), 74.8 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 74.6 God’s Not Dead (2014), 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.6 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 72.3 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 71.6 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 71.1 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 69.5 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 69.4 Black Christmas (2006), 69.3 Pulse (2006), 68.2 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 68.1 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 67.7 Seed of Chucky (2004), 67.4 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 66.9 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 65.1 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.9 The Final Destination (2009), 64.8 Blair Witch (2016), 64.4 Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006), 64.2 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 62.2 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 61.8 The Grudge 2 (2006), 61.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 61.3 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 61.2 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014), 60.7 The Mangler (1995), 60.4 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 60.2 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 60.1 Spiral (2021)

(Finally a Might Ducks film deserving of a high BMeT … but still not high enough to defeat the quality of the late stage Smokey and the Bandit sequels … which yeah, we might be watching later this year.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Emilio Estevez is No. 1 billed in D3: The Mighty Ducks and No. 1 billed in Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory, which also stars Christian Slater (No. 4 billed) who is in Mindhunters (No. 4 billed) which also stars LL Cool J (No. 3 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (1 + 1) + (4 + 4) + (3 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 18. If we were to watch Judgment Night we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – When Charlie gets kicked off the team by Coach Orion after the “unofficial” JV/Varsity showdown, the only other player to join Charlie in leaving the team is Fulton. This is fitting since Fulton and Charlie were the first two players to agree to become Ducks in the first movie. They were also the only two players to show up to the game that they were forced to forfeit since the rest of the team walked out on Bombay in the first movie.

Michael Cudlitz, who plays Cole, is only 2 years younger than Emilio Estevez. Cudlitz is older than most of the Mighty Ducks in the movie by 12 to 15 years.

Emilio Estevez, Joshua Jackson, Elden Henson, Shaun Weiss, Matt Doherty, Garette Ratliff Henson, Marguerite Moreau, and Vincent LaRusso are the only actors to appear in all three Mighty Ducks movies. Steven Brill, the writer of the film series also makes appearances in all three films, but as different characters. In the first film, he played Bombay’s rival lawyer Frank Huddy. In the second film, he plays a party guest who talks to Coach Bombay about fellow sport coach Pat Riley. In this film, he plays the game attendant at the Mall of America who talks to Charlie and Fulton about playing hooky, making this the only film where he doesn’t share any screen time with Emilio Estevez, but instead shares screen time with some of the Ducks players.

In this movie Scott Whyte plays the character of Scott. In D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994) he played the Icelandic hockey player, Gunnar Stahl. Interestingly enough, both of his characters seem to show a romantic interest towards Ducks player Julie “The Cat” Gaffney, played by Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine.

The dorm used by the varsity is the same dorm used in Dead Poets Society.

D2: The Mighty Ducks Preview

D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994) – BMeTric: 28.5; Notability: 55

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 22.0%; Notability: top 6.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.9%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, Street Fighter, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Junior, The Next Karate Kid, It’s Pat: The Movie, Double Dragon, On Deadly Ground, The Flintstones, North, The Fantastic Four, Leprechaun 2, 3 Ninjas Kick Back, Exit to Eden, Color of Night, In the Army Now, Car 54, Where Are You?, Richie Rich, Beverly Hills Cop III, Death Wish: The Face of Death, and 35 more; Higher Notability: The Flintstones, Wyatt Earp, The Shadow, Beverly Hills Cop III, Ready to Wear, Love Affair, The Scout, North, Radioland Murders, I Love Trouble, The Pagemaster, On Deadly Ground, Street Fighter, Exit to Eden, Blown Away, Drop Zone, Speechless; Lower RT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, It’s Pat: The Movie, Death Wish: The Face of Death, Wagons East, The Silence of the Hams, House Party 3, Car 54, Where Are You?, Holy Matrimony, Getting Even with Dad, A Low Down Dirty Shame, Major League II, Exit to Eden, Lightning Jack, Leprechaun 2, S.F.W., The Next Karate Kid, Trial by Jury, Blank Check, Intersection, The Specialist, and 26 more; Notes: This time the BMT classic Clifford is the surprising one. Played 92 times on television, only being beat by Clear and Present Danger. This played 30 times. We’ve seen 14 of the top 20 in this case, which is quite good. What is up with 1992, why have we not seen anything from 1992? So weird.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – Having led his rag-tag hockey team to surprise victory in The Might Ducks, Estevez now gets a chance to coach Team USA (incorporating his former Ducks) in the Junior Goodwill Games – and make a bundle of money as a potential celebrity. The kind of film gives “contrivance” a bad name”: a Disney movie with mixed messages about competition, commercialism, puberty, and sportsmanship. Kids may like it anyway. Sports stars ranging from Wayne Gretzky to KAreem Abdul Jabbar make cameo appearances.

(The mixed messages! This is a particular thing that we ended up noting on this rewatch as adults with adult brains. The film seems to have a hard time grappling with how to introduce a message about commercialism in sports without making Bombay look like a dick. And for no reason, they have a ready and willing eeeeeeeevil hockey equipment manufacturer right there! It is wild.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI9PFPLwEcE/

(It is like they compressed the video in 1994. What the hell? This movie is so stupid, but also like with a lot of series, often the worst film is actually the one you love the most as a kid. Wait … does it just play the Back to the Future theme in the middle of the trailer?)

Directors – Sam Weisman – ( Known For: George of the Jungle; Future BMT: What’s the Worst That Could Happen?; Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; The Out-of-Towners; BMT: D2: The Mighty Ducks; Bye Bye Love; Notes: Nominated for three Emmys for directing an episode of L.A. Law, and for producing and directing Brooklyn Bridge. Younger brother of David Weisman who produced Kiss of the Spider Woman.)

Writers – Steven Brill – ( Known For: Walk of Shame; Heavyweights; Future BMT: Ready to Rumble; BMT: Little Nicky; The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: Whoa! He directed the second as well. That was unexpected. I was sure he would only have character credits for the rest of the series.)

Actors – Emilio Estevez – ( Known For: Mission: Impossible; The Breakfast Club; The Outsiders; Badlands; Young Guns; St. Elmo’s Fire; Bobby; Repo Man; The Way; Stakeout; Brats; The Public; Wisdom; The War at Home; Tex; Never on Tuesday; The L.A. Riot Spectacular; Sand; Future BMT: Loaded Weapon 1; Arthur and the Invisibles; Men at Work; Judgment Night; Another Stakeout; Nightmares; That Was Then… This Is Now; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Young Guns II; Maximum Overdrive; Freejack; Notes: What else is there to say about Emilio really. Part of the Brat Pack, which I guess reminds me I should watch St. Elmo’s Fire at some point.)

Kathryn Erbe – ( Known For: Stir of Echoes; What About Bob?; Mistress America; Assassination Nation; Kiss of Death; Alex Strangelove; The Addiction; The Good House; Speaking of Sex; Entropy; Dream with the Fishes; Rich in Love; 3 Backyards; Death of a Unicorn; Worst Friends; Love from Ground Zero; BMT: D2: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: I Pretty much exclusively know here as the Watson to D’Onofrio’s Holmes in Law & Order: Criminal Intent. She ended up being in more episodes than D’Onofrio, because I forgot he was replaced by Goldblum for a short time.)

Michael Tucker – ( Known For: The Purple Rose of Cairo; Radio Days; Diner; Eyes of Laura Mars; Cold Souls; Tin Men; An Unmarried Woman; Checking Out; A Night Full of Rain; 25 Hill; Future BMT: For Love or Money; ‘Til There Was You; BMT: D2: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: Nominated for three Emmys, all for L.A. Law, which I suppose is probably why he ended up being cast, as the director also worked on that show. What the hell, there was an L.A. Law TV Movie in 2002. That is wild.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $45,610,410 (Worldwide: $45,610,410)

(Not that much less than the first. For a Kids’ film I think that is a win? I don’t know if there is the same expectations for Kids’ films as there would be for a comedy where you maybe think the home video can parlay the theatrical to a higher gross.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (3/15)

(Uh a consensus: Somehow a film that flirts with a moral against excessive commercialization is a soulless commercial cash grab.)

Reviewer Highlight: The Sequel is even more banal than the original. And it’s difficult to take seriously the new film’s position against the commercialism of sports, given Disney’s NHL ties. – Lois Alter Mark, EW

Poster – B2: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

(You can tell they know exactly what’s up by putting the craziest team in the whole film, Trinidad and Tabago, on the poster with their tie-dye shirts. This looks a little rough compared to the first. Or should I say rushed. C-)

Tagline(s) – The Puck Stops Here! (C+)

(I like the effort. Obviously much better than the first. But like… what does this mean?)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

(Again, these are beloved films so the BMeTric will be muted. I wonder if we’ll ever actually watch all of the Madea films though.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Emilio Estevez is No. 1 billed in D2: The Mighty Ducks and No. 1 billed in Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory, which also stars Christian Slater (No. 4 billed) who is in Mindhunters (No. 4 billed) which also stars LL Cool J (No. 3 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (1 + 1) + (4 + 4) + (3 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 18. If we were to watch Judgment Night we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – The Ducks who appeared in the first film but did not return for this one are: Dave Karp (Aaron Schwartz), Peter Mark (J.D. Daniels), Terry Hall (Jussie Smollett), Tammy Duncan (Jane Plank), and Tommy Duncan (Danny Tamberelli).

The scene after the first game with Iceland where Coach Bombay makes the team do sprints is based on Herb Brooks’ 1980 US Olympic team when they tied the Norwegian national team in an exhibition game. The team skated for about an hour even though the rink manager had turned the lights off.

Joss Ackland was apparently unavailable to reprise his role as Hans, and his position in the film was replaced by Jan Rubes as Jan, Hans’ brother. Hans’ non-appearance in the film was explained as him going back to Germany to visit his mother.

Maria Ellingsen, the actress who plays the Iceland trainer, was in fact born in Reykjavík, Iceland and taught the actors playing the Icelandic hockey team how to speak her native tongue.

Iceland’s uniforms are the same colors of the Hawks in The Mighty Ducks (1992).

The Mighty Ducks Preview

The Mighty Ducks (1992) – BMeTric: 16.3; Notability: 50

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 20.4%; Notability: top 5.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.3%; Higher BMeT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (22), Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (47), Cool World (58), Pet Sematary II (29), Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (34), Toys (56), 3 Ninjas (60), Sleepwalkers (54), Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (42), Poison Ivy (37), Freejack (29), Evil Toons (19), Sidekicks (101), Aces: Iron Eagle III (54), Beethoven (18), Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (44), Christopher Columbus: The Discovery (27), Dr. Giggles (14), Encino Man (59), and 31 more; Higher Notability: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Toys, Cool World, Newsies, The Bodyguard, Honey, I Blew Up the Kid, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Freejack, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Universal Soldier, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Innocent Blood; Lower RT: Once Upon a Crime…, Live Wire, Folks!, Year of the Comet, Love Crimes, Frozen Assets, Cool World, Man Trouble, The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Passed Away, Mr. Baseball, Mom and Dad Save the World, The Distinguished Gentleman, Ladybugs, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Aces: Iron Eagle III, The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag, Mo’ Money, and 16 more; Notes: Sidekicks is incredible. A League of Their Own, A River Runs Through It, and the somewhat odd film Hero are the only others which breaks the 100 plays from 1992. But Sidekicks?! Man, Chuck Norris had some juice! We’ve only seen 7 of those top 20 by BMeTric which is somewhat unimpressive. Quite surprising.

Leonard Maltin – 2 Stars – Harmless, cliched Disney yarn of self-centered yuppie lawyer Estevez who’s busted for drunk-driving, ordered to do community service, and assigned to coach a ragtag inner-city peewee hockey team. Guess what happens next. (Anaheim-based pro hockey team was formed by Disney in 1993 called … you guessed it.) Followed by D2: The Mighty Ducks, D3: The Mighty Ducks, an animated series, and a TVM based on that series.

(Oh yeah, there was a movie based on the show. It has 700 votes on IMDb, so not exactly tearing it up. And bullshit, it isn’t even a real movie. It is just the first three episodes of the show! Maltin, you have to do better man.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um_JU7HpSYQ/

(Ha, the quality of this trailer is insane. I assume it was ripped off of a VHS. Even then … reducing it to 720x480ish it still is completely ridiculous looking. Oh the trailer? Looks fun as fuck.)

Directors – Stephen Herek – ( Known For: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure; Rock Star; Mr. Holland’s Opus; Critters; Our Little Secret; Afterlife of the Party; Dog Gone; The Chaperone; The Great Gilly Hopkins; Future BMT: 101 Dalmatians; The Three Musketeers; Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead; Life or Something Like It; Man of the House; Holy Man; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: Still directs. He was a producer and director on the MacGyver reboot, which seems to have kept him busy.)

Writers – Steven Brill – ( Known For: Walk of Shame; Heavyweights; Future BMT: Ready to Rumble; BMT: Little Nicky; The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: I don’t know how, but somehow he got hooked into the Sandler machine prior to Little Nicky in bit parts, and then wrote Little Nicky and has continued to act a bit in random Sandler films.)

Actors – Emilio Estevez – ( Known For: Mission: Impossible; The Breakfast Club; The Outsiders; Badlands; Young Guns; St. Elmo’s Fire; Bobby; Repo Man; The Way; Stakeout; Brats; The Public; Wisdom; The War at Home; Tex; Never on Tuesday; The L.A. Riot Spectacular; Sand; Future BMT: Loaded Weapon 1; Arthur and the Invisibles; Men at Work; Judgment Night; Another Stakeout; Nightmares; That Was Then… This Is Now; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Young Guns II; Maximum Overdrive; Freejack; Notes: Mostly directs now, and apparently is planning on directing a third Young Guns film? Not sure how that’s going to work.)

Joss Ackland – ( Known For: The Hunt for Red October; Lethal Weapon 2; Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey; K-19: The Widowmaker; Miracle on 34th Street; Watership Down; Flawless; The Three Musketeers; The Four Musketeers: Milady’s Revenge; The House That Dripped Blood; Surviving Picasso; No Good Deed; A Zed & Two Noughts; Lady Jane; The Sicilian; Asylum; Firelight; The Thief and the Cobbler; The Little Prince; Mother’s Boys; Future BMT: Nowhere to Run; My Giant; A Kid in King Arthur’s Court; Once Upon a Crime…; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: I randomly watched The Hunt for Red October and Lethal Weapon 2 pretty much back to back and I did a double take. He probably has the best villain in any Lethal Weapon film.)

Lane Smith – ( Known For: Network; My Cousin Vinny; Red Dawn; The Legend of Bagger Vance; Places in the Heart; Rooster Cogburn; Blue Collar; Prince of the City; Frances; Over the Edge; Prison; The Hi-Lo Country; The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training; Resurrection; The Last American Hero; Honeysuckle Rose; Between the Lines; Night Game; Purple Hearts; Weeds; Future BMT: Air America; Son in Law; The Distinguished Gentleman; The Scout; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: Died in 2005. Apparently he sang songs on the Lois & Clark tv show in the 90s? Something tells me that is maybe a fake credit. There is no mention of this on Wikipedia. Maybe he just sang a song in the show or something.)

Budget/Gross – $10,000,000 / Domestic: $50,752,337 (Worldwide: $50,755,845)

(And that is how a phenomenon is born. Sigh, where have all the $10 million films gone. For real, look at this film … looks at how many actors are there. Half of them become like actually famous actors when they grow up. How do you make this for $10 million? The ice time alone!)

Rotten Tomatoes – 27% (8/30): The Mighty Ducks has feel-good goals but only scores a penalty shot for predictability.

(Booooooooooooooooooooooo. This is a good movie. These days if this film was released people’s heads would explode. It would get like 90% on RT and top the Netflix charts.)

Reviewer Highlight: It must be said that this movie is sweet and innocent, and that at a certain level it might appeal to younger kids. I doubt if its ambitions reach much beyond that. – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

(They really cannot quit Goldberg. I don’t blame them. Chunky kids were my jam in kid’s comedy. Ham from The Sandlot. Larry from The Big Green. Zach from Son-in-law. I like the creativity with the poster. Very modern too. Extreme closeups are very common now. Font is nice with the speed streaks. I’m not in love with it, but I also don’t hate it. B-.)

Tagline(s) – He’s never coached. They’ve never won. Together they’ll learn everything about winning! (D)

(My word. No! Won and winning? You kidding?)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

(Well yeah … because these are good films. We could have done an actual bad film for this, but what’s the fun in that? I think if I were to pick a franchise to smash here it would have been Karate Kid. The back two are genuine stinkers. Hot take: The second one sucks too, it is so dumb.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Emilio Estevez is No. 1 billed in The Mighty Ducks and No. 1 billed in Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory, which also stars Christian Slater (No. 4 billed) who is in Mindhunters (No. 4 billed) which also stars LL Cool J (No. 3 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (1 + 1) + (4 + 4) + (3 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 18. If we were to watch Judgment Night we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Jake Gyllenhaal, who was unknown at the time, auditioned for the role of Charlie Conway, but his parents wouldn’t let him do the movie so the producers ended up casting Joshua Jackson.

Before Emilio Estevez was offered and accepted the role of Gordon Bombay, Charlie Sheen, his brother, was offered the role, but turned it down.

Leonardo DiCaprio auditioned for the part of Charlie Conway but lost out to Joshua Jackson. In similar fashion, Juliette Lewis tried out for the part of Connie, but lost out to Marguerite Moreau.

The original premise of Mighty Ducks was much darker with very little comedy about an ex-NHL player turned alcoholic who seeks revenge on his old coach by coaching opposite him. The main idea stayed when Disney bought the rights to the movie, but some elements were changed (such as Bombay is now a lawyer, who never played in the NHL, who must do community service for a DUI), including much more emphasis on comedy and downplaying most of the adult themes.

Vincent LaRusso wasn’t given the role of Adam Banks initially, but later it was given to him when the child who originally played Banks became too difficult to work with.

The Love Guru Preview

Generated on: 2019-11-17

The Love Guru (2008) – BMeTric: 87.3

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TheLoveGuruIMDb_RV

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – What is it with Mike Myers and penis jokes? Having created a classic, funny scene with his not-quite-visible penis sketch in the first “Austin Powers” movie, he now assembles, in “The Love Guru,” as many more penis jokes as he can think of, none of them funny, except for one based on an off-screen “thump.” He supplements this subject with countless other awful moments involving defecation and the deafening passing of gas. Oh, and elephant sex.

There’s a moment of invention near the beginning of the film (his flying cushion has a back-up beeper), and then it’s all into the dump. Even his fellow actors seem to realize no one is laughing. That’s impossible, because they can’t hear the audience, but it looks uncannily like they can, and don’t.

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVdD0ZxPq_g/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVdD0ZxPq_g/

Directors – Marco Schnabel – (BMT: The Love Guru; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for The Love Guru in 2009;)

Writers – Mike Myers (written by) – (Known For: Wayne’s World; Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery; Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me; Austin Powers in Goldmember; Wayne’s World 2; BMT: The Love Guru; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actor for The Love Guru in 2009; Nominee for Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for The Cat in the Hat in 2004; and Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for The Cat in the Hat, and The Love Guru;)

Graham Gordy (written by) – (BMT: The Love Guru; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for The Love Guru in 2009;)

Actors – Mike Myers – (Known For: Bohemian Rhapsody; Inglourious Basterds; Shrek; Wayne’s World; Shrek 2; Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery; Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me; Shrek Forever After; Austin Powers in Goldmember; Shrek the Third; Wayne’s World 2; So I Married an Axe Murderer; Future BMT: View from the Top; Terminal; 54; Mystery, Alaska; BMT: The Love Guru; The Cat in the Hat; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actor for The Love Guru in 2009; Nominee for Worst Actor, and Worst Screen Couple for The Cat in the Hat in 2004; and Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for The Cat in the Hat, and The Love Guru;)

Jessica Alba – (Known For: Sin City; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Machete; Never been Kissed; El Camino Christmas; Stretch; The Killer Inside Me; A.C.O.D.; Future BMT: Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World; The Ten; Honey; The Eye; Little Fockers; Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Machete Kills; Barely Lethal; Fantastic Four; Into the Blue; Lessons in Love; An Invisible Sign; Idle Hands; Camp Nowhere; Bill; Killers Anonymous; Awake; Entourage; BMT: The Love Guru; Good Luck Chuck; Valentine’s Day; Mechanic: Resurrection; Escape from Planet Earth; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actress in 2011 for Little Fockers, Machete, The Killer Inside Me, and Valentine’s Day; Nominee for Worst Actress in 2006 for Fantastic Four, and Into the Blue; in 2008 for 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Awake, and Good Luck Chuck; and in 2009 for The Eye, and The Love Guru; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2008 for 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Awake, and Good Luck Chuck;)

Romany Malco – (Known For: The 40 Year-Old Virgin; Blades of Glory; The Duff; Last Vegas; Think Like a Man; Baby Mama; Almost Christmas; Top Five; Churchill: The Hollywood Years; The Prime Gig; Future BMT: Gulliver’s Travels; Night School; The Ex; When the Bough Breaks; Think Like a Man Too; A Little Bit of Heaven; Saint John of Las Vegas; BMT: The Love Guru; The Tuxedo;)

Budget/Gross – $62,000,000 / Domestic: $32,235,793 (Worldwide: $40,854,735)

Rotten Tomatoes – 14% (24/174): The Love Guru features far too many gross-out gags, and too few earned laughs, ranking as one of Mike Myers’ poorest outings.

Poster – The Sklog Guru

love_guru_ver2

Tagline(s) – His Karma is Huge

Get ready for the summer of love

Keyword – ice hockey;

TheLoveGuru_ice hockey

Top 10: Inside Out (2015), The Mighty Ducks (1992), Manchester by the Sea (2016), The Snowman (2017), Happy Gilmore (1996), Bruce Almighty (2003), Night at the Museum (2006), The Running Man (1987), Just Friends (2005), D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994);

Future BMT: 65.9 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 62.8 Tooth Fairy (2010), 52.2 Jack Frost (1998), 46.9 D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996), 40.2 California Man (1992), 39.0 The Forgotten (2004), 30.7 Raising Helen (2004), 30.6 D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994), 22.6 Youngblood (1986), 18.2 The Mighty Ducks (1992);

BMT: The Snowman (2017), The Love Guru (2008), Untraceable (2008)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jessica Alba is No. 2 billed in The Love Guru and No. 2 billed in Mechanic: Resurrection, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Seige Tale (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 4 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 2 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 4 + 1 = 11. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – There is an extra scene with Kanye West being interviewed at a hockey game to which Mike Myers has brought him. Each time the interviewer gives the microphone to Kanye, Mike Myers leans in and keeps repeating, “Don’t say it, don’t say it!” Mike Myers was on-stage with Kanye West when Kanye made his infamous “George W. Bush does not like black people”, statement.

Used throughout the movie as a fake Indian greeting, “Mariska Hargitay” is actually the name of an actress. When Guru Pitka greets his followers after his presentation at the Pitka Ashram, Hargitay appeared in a brief cameo scene which makes light of her role as Detective Olivia Benson in Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (1999).

During the scene where Guru Pitka and Rajneesh are singing More Than Words, the man waving a lighter on Guru Pitka’s “hybrid pillow”, is a real member of crew. He also appears at the beginning of the movie, after Guru Pitka sings “9 to 5” when he takes his pillow off camera.

There was a real Jacques Lecoq. He was an actor, called the “father of modern mime”.

In 1998, it was reported that Mike Myers would be playing four characters in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999), the fourth being Austin’s love guru. This character finally surfaced in a starring role in 2008.

As revealed on an episode of Through the Keyhole (2013), Verne Troyer kept much of the small-sized furniture in Coach Cherkov’s office, that was designed for this movie, and used them in his own house.

Daniel Tosh’s only movie credit.

The song playing on the radio station Pitka changes to in the car after the bathroom scene is Bohemian Rhapsody, a reference to Myers’ movie Wayne’s World (1992).

Verne Troyer’s character name is an homage to the legendary Toronto Maple Leafs coach, Punch Imlach.

The opening scene is set in a location named Harenmahkeester, as declared by a large sign. This prop reappeared in the reality show Junk Raiders (2009), episode four, “Episode #1.4”, where it’s salvaged to act as a headboard.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor of the Decade (Mike Myers, 2010)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2009)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Mike Myers, 2009)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Mike Myers, Graham Gordy, 2009)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Jessica Alba, 2009)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Ben Kingsley, 2009)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Verne Troyer, 2009)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Marco Schnabel, 2009)