Tag: bmt 2023

Fools Rush In Preview

September 1st, 1994

Jamie and Patrick are looking radical. Hat? Backwards. Jeans? Also backwards. Arms? Crossed. Their summer had been spent consuming the weekly ‘zine Funky Fresh Horses that was just catching fire and they were saving their nickels and dimes to buy a horse. Their dad had one word of advice for them as they navigate this crazy thing we call life: “You better give up that bad movie thing if you want to save enough money for a horse.” With that he swept his arm in the general direction of the local stables and called it ‘nature’s movie.’ Despite this being wrong (Nature’s movie is a babbling brook) they venture forth and soon find themselves perusing the horses for sale. Suddenly their eyes alight on a beautiful steed. He’s everything that a couple funky fresh dudez could want in a horse. But just as they approach the stables they are pushed to the ground. “This horse isn’t for little babies,” some older kids say and begin to laugh at them. After they leave, Patrick sits ruminating in his devastation. Jamie paces about, rending his garments in despair. At that moment of true sorrow they suddenly hear a quiet voice. “Don’t worry,” it says, “I know exactly what to do.” They look around in confusion. They are the only ones here other than a single horse staring at them from the furthest stall. As they approach they read the name on the door, ‘Don.’ Jamie and Patrick hesitate. “We have to consider our past bad experiences with talking horses,” Patrick says quietly. “Right, and we can’t forget the Not Foolz Rule,” Jamie says, pulling out a very cool phrase he coined, “Don’t do what foolz do.” With that their eyes glaze over and they enter a patented Twin Memory. That’s right! We are watching Fools Rush In, the Matthew Perry vehicle that will have you asking the question: wait, is this the one where he pretends to be gay? Let’s go!

Fools Rush In (1997) – BMeTric: 28.1; Notability: 32

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 20.4%; Notability: top 26.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 34.9%; Higher BMeT: Batman & Robin, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Home Alone 3, Steel, Mr. Magoo, Double Team, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Chairman of the Board, Spawn, Flubber, An American Werewolf in Paris, Turbulence, Fire Down Below, Jungle 2 Jungle, Gone Fishin’, McHale’s Navy, The Pest, Kull the Conqueror, Plump Fiction, and 31 more; Higher Notability: Batman & Robin, The Saint, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Jackal, Dante’s Peak, The Postman, Flubber, Spawn, The Man Who Knew Too Little, The Relic, Fathers’ Day, The Devil’s Own, Red Corner, Meet Wally Sparks, Kiss the Girls, Event Horizon, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Fire Down Below, Mad City, Steel, and 46 more; Lower RT: Plump Fiction, Fall, The Blackout, The Peacekeeper, McHale’s Navy, Shadow Conspiracy, Gone Fishin’, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Pest, ‘Til There Was You, An American Werewolf in Paris, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Dangerous Ground, The Postman, Mr. Magoo, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Keys to Tulsa, Double Team, Chairman of the Board, and 61 more; Notes: Amazingly, Fools Rush In was basically the biggest “tv film” around if you look through the list here. Batman & Robin played 56 times in the two or so years left in the 90s, Speed 2 played 64 times, but pretty much all the rest pale in comparison to Fools Rush In coming in at 51. Pretty impressive. Our friend this week is Deadly Outbreak with Jeff Speakman which played primetime (and I’m not joking) on the Saturday after Thanksgiving on Cinemax. Really trying to goose those DVD sales huh boys!

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – In actual fact, of course, angels rush in where fools fear to tread. And that’s what happens to Alex Whitman, a fairly unexciting builder of nightclubs, when Isabel Fuentes comes into his life. Alex comes from Manhattan, where he leads the kind of WASP life that requires Jill Clayburgh as his mother. He’s in Las Vegas to supervise the construction of a new club, when he crosses paths with Isabel, a Mexican-American camera girl at Caesars, who believes in fate: “There is a reason behind all logic to bring us the exact same time and place.” The reason, which may be the oldest one in the world, leads them to the same bed for a one-night stand, which both insist they “never” do. But then Isabel disappears for three months, returning unexpectedly one day for a visit during which she asks for saltines (always an ominous sign) before telling Alex she is pregnant.

(I love it. I genuinely love when Ebert takes a film like this where it is just very confusing as to why exactly everyone is shitting on it and is like “huh … seems pretty good to me.” He’s right by the way, pretty heartfelt film about an unlikely couple just trying to make their way.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLKa24D1KUk/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLKa24D1KUk/

(Besides the pretty in your face racism undertones, the film seems charming. I’d put peak Selma Hayak against any other actress in the history of cinema. It is absurd how attractive she is. And oddly? Matthew Perry doesn’t feel like he’s entirely out of his league. Is that weird?)

Directors – Andy Tennant – ( Known For: Ever After: A Cinderella Story; Hitch; The Secret: Dare to Dream; Anna and the King; Wild Oats; Future BMT: It Takes Two; BMT: Sweet Home Alabama; Fools Rush In; Fool’s Gold; The Bounty Hunter; Notes: Nominated for two Emmy for The Kominsky Method which he produced and directed a bit on. That seems to be his most recent work for the most part.)

Writers – Joan Taylor – ( BMT: Fools Rush In; Notes: Huh. She was an actress, but she retired from acting in the 60s. I think she might have written specs for a while because she has a few credited novels, so I imagine they dusted this bad boy off well after it was written and she got a story credit.)

Katherine Reback – ( BMT: Fools Rush In; Notes: Incredibly her only credit. At all. What an odd pair. It makes me wonder how this film was even made. I bet there are a million non-credited writers in the end.)

Actors – Matthew Perry – ( Known For: 17 Again; The Whole Nine Yards; The Kid; Numb; Birds of America; Getting In; Future BMT: She’s Out of Control; Almost Heroes; A Night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon; Three to Tango; BMT: Fools Rush In; The Whole Ten Yards; Serving Sara; Notes: He claims that this is the film where his pain killer addiction began which on-and-off derailed his acting career quite publicly. Either he was just doing it for fun or there is a scene involving jet skis where he got injured.)

Salma Hayek – ( Known For: The Faculty; From Dusk Till Dawn; Puss in Boots: The Last Wish; Eternals; Sausage Party; Traffic; House of Gucci; Dogma; Here Comes the Boom; Magic Mike’s Last Dance; Desperado; Savages; The Hitman’s Bodyguard; Frida; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Puss in Boots; Four Rooms; Tale of Tales; Once Upon a Time in Mexico; Across the Universe; Future BMT: After the Sunset; 54; Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant; Like a Boss; How to Be a Latin Lover; Fled; BMT: Grown Ups; Grown Ups 2; Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Wild Wild West; Fools Rush In; Fair Game; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Midaq Alley. Married to the son of French billionaire Francois Pinault who is the CEO of Kering.)

Jon Tenney – ( Known For: Tombstone; I See You; The Phantom; Wild Mountain Thyme; Rabbit Hole; You Can Count on Me; Nixon; Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home; Buying the Cow; Lassie; The Seagull; Homegrown; Guilty by Suspicion; Music from Another Room; As Cool as I Am; Hide Away; The Twilight of the Golds; Lovelife; Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World; Entropy; Future BMT: Legion; The Best of Me; The Stepfather; Love the Coopers; BMT: Green Lantern; Beverly Hills Cop III; Fools Rush In; Notes: Mostly a television actor, he is notably in the new Sex and the City show. I think even more notably he was a regular on The Closer with Kyra Sedgwick appearing in over 100 episodes. That’s what they call me at work. Kyra Sedgwick. Because I close.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $29,481,428 (Worldwide: $29,481,428)

(That’s not half bad, but also not whole good. It was a wild time there where Matthew Perry was a decent romantic comedy leading man.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 34% (11/32): Only Fools Rush In to see a basic romantic comedy where opposites try to attract and find an unlikely happy ending.

(Yeah, on paper it is a standard formula with a few modern updates. There must have been something about Perry because it is a bit inexplicable that critics hated such harmless stuff … right? Were we just way harsher back then?)

NYT Short Review: A wisecracking New York WASP and a feisty latina have a shotgun wedding following a one-night stand.

Poster – Foolz Crush In

(Someone here was having fun with what was otherwise a very bad and forgettable poster (look at that font. Gross). Look at that tiny NYC with those tiny twin towers. And look at the two cacti to the left of those. Clever girl. D+)

Tagline(s) – What if finding the love of your life meant changing the life that you loved? (C-)

(I know you meant well and were on the right track, but I didn’t finish reading that because it’s like a Charles Dickens novel. Are you being paid by the word? Can’t even fit on the poster in legible font.)

Keyword(s) – daddio

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), The Godfather (1972), Scarface (1983), 12 Angry Men (1957), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Back to the Future Part II (1989), Dead Poets Society (1989), Citizen Kane (1941), The Game (1997), Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Future BMT: 79.0 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 58.9 Jury Duty (1995), 57.4 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.1 Ghost Dad (1990), 50.8 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.5 Sleepwalkers (1992), 49.3 My Girl 2 (1994), 46.4 Daddy Day Care (2003), 44.6 Man of the House (1995), 41.6 My Baby’s Daddy (2004), 41.6 Speed Zone (1989), 41.3 Club Paradise (1986), 38.9 Fled (1996), 38.3 My Father the Hero (1994), 38.0 Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), 36.9 Desperate Hours (1990), 35.9 Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984), 35.8 I Got the Hook Up (1998), 34.3 Spring Break (1983), 34.1 Father Hood (1993)

BMT: Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Cool as Ice (1991), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Poltergeist III (1988), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Fire Birds (1990), Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989), Virtuosity (1995), Double Impact (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Iron Eagle (1986), Rambo III (1988), High School High (1996), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Clifford (1994), Man Trouble (1992), Leviathan (1989), Universal Soldier (1992), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), The Postman (1997), Fools Rush In (1997), Eraser (1996), Hackers (1995), Rising Sun (1993), Magic in the Water (1995), Lock Up (1989), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Best Options (Romance): 38.3 My Father the Hero (1994), 34.3 Spring Break (1983), 32.2 It Takes Two (1995), 28.1 Fools Rush In (1997), 22.7 Moonlight and Valentino (1995), 20.1 Art School Confidential (2006), 18.3 The Art of Getting By (2011), 16.7 Mr. Destiny (1990)

(My God, My Father the Hero is going to be a wild one eventually. I remember seeing it in pieces on television way back, and fat Gerard Depardieu shambling about with very young women around him is harrowing to say the least. Glad we didn’t do that one. This is the main genuine option in my opinion if you wanted one that played on a birthday.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Matthew Perry is No. 1 billed in Fools Rush In and No. 2 billed in The Whole Ten Yards, which also stars Bruce Willis (No. 1 billed) who is in Armageddon (No. 1 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 3 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 15. If we were to watch Like a Boss we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – The role of Alex’s (Matthew Perry) father is played by John Bennett Perry, who is actually Matthew Perry’s father.

Before the movie was filmed, there was no Arizona/Nevada “border” painted on the highway that spans the Hoover Dam. When it was added for the movie, local officials decided to keep it intact after the filming of the movie. As of September 2005 the border painted in the street is no longer there.

Jennifer Lopez was offered the role of Isabel Fuentes but turned it down in favor of Anaconda (1997).

John Bennett Perry (Alex’s father), Matthew Perry’s father, was in another of his son’s work. He played the father of Joshua, Rachel’s boyfriend, on FRIENDS. They would also play father and son in an episode of Scrubs.

Matthew Perry credits a jet ski accident on the set of this film as fuelling his addiction with prescription drugs

Expend4bles Recap

Jamie

Disaster! Now that I have your attention I think this is an appropriate forum to further discuss the steady decline in available BMT films entering our BMT Treasure Chest (BMTTC). From time immemorial we have used a simple calculation to differentiate wheat from chaff. A rottentomatoes score <40%  (because let’s face it, 60% is far too high… that’s a crazy number) and the requirement that the film was a “wide release” (typically >600 theaters, although we’ve at times gone with a more qualitative “vibes” based approach). Recent events, however, have conspired against us. This is likely because our vast bad movie funds and legions of fans have put the fear of god into movie studios across the globe and they’ve banded together to foil us. How? By making only good movies? No! By releasing fewer and fewer movies to theaters and then paying reviewers to give good reviews to the crap that do make it that far (the views of the author do not reflect the views of BMTCorp). Fiends! In all seriousness, we actually are heading for a breaking point and I think we really would have had to consider some changes to our rulez if Expend4bles hadn’t qualified. But boy did it ever. It’s still a horrible sign that the BMT Live! films this year consisted of two Jason Statham sequels and a Liam Neeson film (plus the dino flick, 65). Feels like we are playing in an ever shrinking pool. But we persist and we survive and Expend4bles means we can put off such drastic rulez changez for another year. Yay!

To recap! Barney Ross is back, Jack! And so is Lee Christmas. They are getting the “gang” back together, which really means they have two old timers (Dolph Lundgren and Randy Couture) plus a bunch of randos like 50 Cent. They are tasked with flying into Libya to prevent a terrorist named Suarto from getting his hands on some nuclear weapons and delivering them to the big bad, Ocelot. They punch and kick and shoot real hard, but it’s not enough. Not only do they lose the warheads, but Barney is shot down and definitely dies for sure. No chance Sly Stallone survived the plane crash. Because if there’s one thing I know about Sly it’s that he loves to pass his franchises onto the next generation. Everyone is sad (because Sly definitely died) and Christmas gets even sadder when he’s informed by their government handler, Marsh, that he’s off the team and his GF, Megan Fox, is taking over. After planting a tracking device on Fox, Christmas tracks them to a tanker in the Pacific Ocean with the help of former Expendable, Decha. When they get onto the tanker, though, it’s a trap! All the Expendables are captured and Marsh is forced to negotiate for the release of a prisoner who can identify Ocelot. When Christmas arrives the Expendables have already escaped so they all team up to take down Suarto. However, when the prisoner arrives it’s revealed that Marsh is Ocelot (what a twist!). All the expendables leave the boat, which is set to explode and spark a war, while Christmas stays behind to try to turn the boat around. Just when it appears all is lost and Marsh’s plan will succeed, Sly Stallone arrives (what a double twist!). Turns out he just faked his death to lure out Ocelot (who could have guessed?). He kills Marsh with a helicopter, scoops up Christmas, and sinks the tanker to reduce the impact of the explosion (all in about 20 seconds). They then celebrate good times. THE END. 

Wooooooow. And I thought the third film was bad. This is basically not a film. At times gross. At other times super dumb. Always terrible looking. This film really exemplifies what has become a common theme in BMT: Jason Statham is game. Doesn’t matter what the script is or what you have him do. That check clears and he’s ready to sell whatever line you are having him say. The acting in this is terrible and the twists are inane. Never for one moment did I believe Sly Stallone was actually dead. Why? He is famous for forcing people to pry franchises out of his grip. You think he’s giving up Expendables? Get out of here. I just really can’t express my pleasure in watching this terrible, terrible movie. It’s gives me BMT hope for our BMT future. My one concern? This still ended up at 14% on RT. This is a <10% film if I’ve ever seen one. 

Hot Take Clam Bake! Sly Stallone actually did die in the film. “Barney” who showed up at the end was actually his twin brother. That’s the mega-twist of the film. That Barney was a secret twin and that secret twin, let’s call him Rarney, is even more badass. You know what? I’m starting to vibe with this super-secret twin film. Expend4bles? More like Twin-pendables. Let’s make them all twins. Technology can do anything! We’re going to live foreeevvveeerrrrrrrr. Hot Take Temperature: Sizzling Megan Fox/Statham sex scene.

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about ancient Methuselah Stallone showing up for, oh say, 15% of a film and then pawning off the rest to BMT Legend Jason Statham? Hell ye4h we 4re! Let’s go!

I will say it again: don’t you dare allow Jason Statham anywhere near his natural habitat of water. He’ll Olympic dive right into your stupid face.

Right off the top, and I don’t know if other people noticed this, but this film basically doesn’t have a soundtrack. It is mostly scored. There are songs on occasion, but they are mostly played for jokes (Some Blue Oyster Cult during the not-funeral which Statham makes light of, and, naturally, some 50 Cent they got for free). I guess my point is, if there was ever a movie which demanded some sick tunes in the action scenes, this one is it, and yet … really nothing. Bizarre. I think my actual point is: is this the cheapest film of all time. What did they spend any money on?

Could anything have been more telegraphed than Stallone not actually dying in the beginning. God forbid they do something daring or interesting in these films like let someone die a plot advancing death.

Megan Fox is awful, but so is everyone else. She did do that flippy thing where she like jumps on a person and spins around them for the take down. It is like an obligation at this point.

This entire film is kind of an obligation now that I think about it.

Half the film takes place, ultimately, on a rather silly tanker set with way too wide of hallways, and it looks dumb (aka like a set).

And then in the end there is a different dumb twist where Andy Garcia was the bad guy all along, who would have thunk it?

Oh and of course Stallone comes back and details how he killed a man in cold blood for funsies, and everyone laughs and laughs and laughs.

This film is aggressively dumb, and the only regret is that it did so poorly it is almost certain that the planned sequels won’t be made or, if they are, they’ll Escape Plan it and they’ll be sold off to VOD. Which is all the worse for the long term BMT health. In reality, to put this in terms we all understand: Meg 2: The Trench is a Happy Statham for BMT because it made a lot of money so they’ll probably make Meg 3 and it’ll probably also be bad. Expend4bles on the other hand is a Sad Statham for BMT because it made no money and so it won’t be fruitful and multiply creating little BMT sequels for us to watch.

I guess for Expendable5 we’ll just have to cross that bridge. Maybe by then we’ll have to unveil our new criteria to allow for 52 films to actually qualify instead of the paltry 22 so far. We had 23 last year. We haven’t had a full 52+ BMT slate since 2017, and I have a feeling we’ll hit 10 years quite easily by that metric.

I do love an odd Product Placement (What?) and this time you can see quite a few advertisements for Helix Vodka sprinkled in the film which is kind of funny. As for Setting as a Character (Where?) why are so many Statham films vaguely set around Thailand, ultimately though this ends up being set around the easternmost tip of Russia. Obviously you need a sweet MacGuffin (Why?) in the form of an actual genuine undisarmable nuke. And a double dose of Worst Twist (How?) for the reveal of Garcia as the big bad, and Stallone as not having died. This film is oh so so so so Bad.

Read about my idea for Expendable5: Esc4ape Plan in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Expend4bles Quiz

‘Ello everyone! You know what really fucks you up? Like constant successive blasts from being in a warzone for basically decades. I have tinnitus and like a million concussions. I don’t even remember my own name half the time let alone this movie. Do you remember what happened in Expend4bles?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) In the beginning Sly wants Statham to come and help him murder a bunch of people in cold blood. Why?

2) Cool cool cool. Anyways, what precisely are the big bad buys obtaining in … Libya? Somewhere in a desert. It is never very clear.

3) After getting fired for trying to save Sly’s life, Statham gets another job. What is it?

4) How does Statham then try and track the Expendable crew to their mission? After having sex with Megan Fox how does he actually do it?

5) So .. who’s Ocelot and how does Statham stop the boat from blowing up a nuke off the coat of Russia?

Bonus Question: Well the whole crew is back baby! But what is their next mission?

Answers

Expend4bles Preview

September 1st, 1995

Jamie and Patrick are looking wizard. Hat? Funky. Jeans? Fresh. Riding? Horses. They’re about to turn nine and are deep into the latest horse craze sweeping the nation. Their dad had one word of advice for them as they navigate this crazy thing we call life: “How do you have so much time to watch all this bad stuff while also taking care of that horse?” With that he swept his arm in the general direction of a nearby beautiful meadow and called it ‘nature’s movie.’ Despite this being wrong (Nature’s movie is Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest) they venture forth and find themselves knee deep in grass as Don, their horse, eats his fill. “This is nice, actually,” Jamie begins, running his hands through the tall grass. “It’s not quite as nice as water, but it’s close. Because in water no one can see you nude and in the water…” but before he can finish his thought on why water and the tall grass are similar in one specific way they hear the sound of horses approaching. They hop on Don, but it’s too late, they’re surrounded by a bunch of older kids on their own horses. “What are we going to do?” Don says, which is worrisome, because Don usually knows exactly what to do. “Nice horse,” one of the kids says, but before the compliment can land he pulls out a quick “NOT!” and everyone laughs. As the kids ride away, still laughing, Jamie and Patrick’s eyes narrow. “They are foolz and we are the cure for foolz,” Jamie says, pulling out a very cool phrase he coined. With that their eyes glaze over and they enter a patented Twin Memory in order to remember such a cure for foolz. That’s right! You might remember a similarly cool phrase uttered by Sly Stallone in Cobra. Well we aren’t watching that (unfortunately). Instead we are taking it LIVE and watching Expend4bles. I had been worried that the film might be so stupid that reviewers would be like “If you are real dumb you’ll like this. Who am I to judge? 2.5 stars.” But nope! This got some real real real bad reviews. Hooray! Let’s go!

Expend4bles (2023) – BMeTric: 42.8; Notability: 33

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.0%; Notability: top 0.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.5%; Higher BMeT: Meg 2: The Trench, The Black Demon, Knights of the Zodiac, 65, The Ritual Killer, The Out-Laws, Insidious: The Red Door, White Men Can’t Jump, Hypnotic, Expend4bles; Higher Notability: Fool’s Paradise, Ghosted; Lower RT: The Ritual Killer; Notes: The BMeT ones are fascinating. The Black Demon? The Ritual Killer? The Out-Laws? Never heard of any of these. The Black Demon is, somehow, a knock off The Meg. The Ritual Killer is a Morgan Freeman film where it seems like a serial killer uses magic to kill people maybe? And now that I look at it I now remember that The Out-Laws is an Adam DeVine comedy about a bank robbery. I guess the point is: at some point we have to expand our horizons to include nonsense like The Out-Laws at least, so how should we do it? BMeT? Hardly. But something we have to think about.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – “The Expendables” had a simple enough concept—gather a bunch of ’80s-era action cinema icons, including Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren, and Mickey Rourke, and bring them together for an old-school-style shoot-em-up in which they, along with such current familiar faces (and pecs) as Jason Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture, and Steve Austin, joined forces to blow things up real good. The film was no masterpiece, but the aggressively retro approach—it felt like exactly the kind of thing that the late great Cannon Films might have conjured up if they were still in business—had a certain lunkheaded charm, and it wound up being a surprise hit. Two sequels followed in 2012 and 2014, and while neither one lived up to the exceedingly mild promise of their predecessor, they served their purpose as B-movie fodder and a way for veteran action stars (including Harrison Ford, Chuck Norris, Wesley Snipes, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Antonio Banderas and, inexplicably, Kelsey Grammer) to kill a couple of adequately-paid weeks reliving the good old days—sort of the genre equivalent of a Hall of Fame game.

“Expend4bles” is just an embarrassment from start to finish, and the only positive thing to say about it is that it should pretty much put a nail in the coffin of a series that has clearly overstayed its welcome. At least for another decade.

(Yeah, that sounds about right. And finally. Something like this is bad for what it is, instead of merely good for what it is. Read the review. It put it into lunkheaded context and found it wanting even from the modest premise. More of that please.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm3Z1jEjHHc/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm3Z1jEjHHc/

(We heard who? Oh yeah, I forgot the whole advertising campaign revolved around how they were going to make this movie rated-R and that was supposed to make it better somehow.)

Directors – Scott Waugh – ( Known For: Hidden Strike; 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain; Future BMT: Act of Valor; BMT: Expend4bles; Need for Speed; Notes: He is tapped for an upcoming Schwarzenegger film called Breakout (secret sequel to Escape Plan?). Also he is apparently directing a film starring a few wrestlers.)

Writers – Kurt Wimmer – ( Known For: Equilibrium; The Thomas Crown Affair; Salt; Children of the Corn; The Misfits; The Recruit; Spell; Double Trouble; The Neighbor; Relative Fear; Future BMT: Law Abiding Citizen; Total Recall; Street Kings; BMT: Expend4bles; Point Break; Ultraviolet; Notes: Wrote the original book the first film was based on … naw I’m joking. For his film Equilibrium he claims to have invented “Gun Kata” a fictional martial art discipline. He also wrote the upcoming Statham film The Beekeepers.)

Tad Daggerhart – (BMT: Expend4bles; Notes: One of those guys which are so new to the scene they don’t have a TMDB profile yet. He acted a bit, was in script continuity for a bit, but then wrote this and a non-film called Black Lotus this year.)

Max Adams – ( Known For: Heist; Extraction; Precious Cargo; BMT: Expend4bles; Notes: He served in the armed forces, so his writing credits definitely skew that direction.)

Spenser Cohen – ( Known For: Extinction; BMT: Expend4bles; Moonfall; Notes: He has an upcoming film he is writing-directing called Horrorscope in which (can you guess?) a group of teens begin dying based on their horoscope after getting their fortunes told.)

Dave Callaham – ( Known For: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse; The Expendables; Mortal Kombat; Wonder Woman 1984; Godzilla; Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings; Zombieland: Double Tap; Horsemen; America: The Motion Picture; Tell Tale; BMT: Expend4bles; The Expendables 3; Doom; Notes: Yeah, a big writer, mostly on big budget films and often comic book oriented. He is writing the new Masters of the Universe film.)

Actors – Jason Statham – ( Known For: Fast X; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; The Meg; Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre; Spy; Snatch; F9: The Fast Saga; Wrath of Man; Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; Collateral; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; Furious 7; The Fate of the Furious; The Italian Job; Furious 6; Homefront; The Transporter; The Mechanic; Parker; Future BMT: The Pink Panther; The One; War; Turn It Up; BMT: Expend4bles; Meg 2: The Trench; The Expendables 3; Crank; Mechanic: Resurrection; Crank: High Voltage; Killer Elite; In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale; Ghosts of Mars; Notes: Wow, very close to our tenth Statham. He has three Hall of Fame films. I wonder if anyone else beats that (unofficial check: from what I can tell Travolta and Stallone also have three as of this year).)

50 Cent – ( Known For: Spy; Southpaw; Den of Thieves; Escape Plan; Morning Glory; Last Vegas; The Frozen Ground; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Escape Plan: The Extractors; The Prince; Escape Plan 2: Hades; 13; Fire with Fire; Twelve; All Things Fall Apart; Freelancers; Home of the Brave; Setup; Gun; Dead Man Running; Future BMT: Get Rich or Die Tryin’; BMT: Expend4bles; Righteous Kill; Notes: An oddly charmed film career. Although some of the non-BMT films actually are just too small. Escape Plan 2 is absolutely dire, but it wasn’t released to theaters in the end.)

Megan Fox – ( Known For: Jennifer’s Body; This Is 40; Transformers; Till Death; Midnight in the Switchgrass; The Dictator; Night Teeth; Johnny & Clyde; Good Mourning; Above the Shadows; Zeroville; Rogue; Big Gold Brick; Taurus; Friends with Kids; The Battle of Jangsari; Think Like a Dog; Passion Play; Whore; Future BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; Bad Boys II; Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen; How to Lose Friends & Alienate People; BMT: Expend4bles; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Jonah Hex; Notes: What is the opposite of an oddly charmed film career? Blasted onto the scene when Michael Bay cast her in multiple Transformers films. She’s stuck around though, and even has some cult classics floating around. Was married to Brian Austin Green for 10 years, they have three kids together, but divorced a few years ago.)

Budget/Gross – $100 million / Domestic: $14,336,200 (Worldwide: $26,064,529)

(Yeah it was disastrous. There is almost no way they continue with the series, despite Sly’s contention that there will be more. The last stunk, this stunk, and now it is box office poison. Not a chance.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 13% (15/119): Solid work from Jason Statham and some halfway decent set pieces aren’t enough to make up for Expend4bles’ lackluster action and cheap-looking effects.

(Solid work by Jason Statham sounded unlikely initially … but yeah, I suppose he is always game for a little action smash’em’up so it actually seems quite likely.)

Reviewer Highlight: The film’s last reel is so awful — so sneeringly contemptuous of our good-faith efforts to play along with these shenanigans — that we leave the theater still thinking of that shot of a corpse’s middle finger. It sure seemed pointed at us. – Amy Nicholson, The New York Times

Poster – Depend4bles

(Nailed it. Big ol’ meh to this guy. Just all the people and then zany colors for… I guess I don’t really know why. C-.)

Tagline(s) – Old blood meets new blood. (D)

(Nope. That ain’t it.)

Keyword(s) – year 2023

Top 10: Oppenheimer (2023), Barbie (2023), Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023), John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023), Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023), The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023), Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023), The Flash (2023), Pathaan (2023)

Future BMT: 82.1 Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 47.0 Insidious: The Red Door (2023), 44.0 Hypnotic (2023), 42.6 House Party (2023), 37.8 Fool’s Paradise (2023), 35.5 Mafia Mamma (2023), 30.2 The Machine (2023), 30.1 About My Father (2023), 28.9 My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 (2023), 28.6 Love Again (2023), 25.2 Fear (2023), 21.7 Haunted Mansion (2023), 10.3 The Exorcist: Believer (2023), 7.5 Sweetwater (2023)

BMT: Meg 2: The Trench (2023), 65 (2023), Expend4bles (2023), Retribution (2023)

Best Options (Action): 44.0 Hypnotic (2023), 42.0 Expend4bles (2023), 35.5 Mafia Mamma (2023), 30.2 The Machine (2023)

(Hypnotic will almost certainly be the action choice for the end of the year cycle, so we’ll have hit a solid set of bad guys by the end. We are not watching Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey though. I refuse.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 6) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jason Statham is No. 1 billed in Expend4bles and No. 1 billed in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 6. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Jason Statham has expressed his love for The Expendables. On co-star Sylvester Stallone, he said “Working with Sylvester Stallone is beyond a pinch yourself moment. I remember growing up watching his films, and to be directed by him, and to be in a movie that he’s produced, and to be shoulder to shoulder with Sly is a privilege any man who loves action movies would never turn their nose up at. I mean, it’s terrific. I’ll do as many as he wants.”

Sylvester Stallone while promoting The Expendables 3 (2014) DVD/Blu-ray release of the movie, Stallone commented that if a fourth film happens, it will definitely be R-rated unlike the PG-13 rated The Expendables 3 (2014) as he states on the matter: “Absolutely unequivocally yes,” he confirmed. “I believe it was a horrible miscalculation on everyone’s part in trying to reach a wider audience, but in doing such, diminish the violence that the audience expects. I’m quite certain it won’t happen again.”

Sylvester Stallone confirmed this is the first of a new trilogy.

Sylvester Stallone’s first choice for the villain was Jack Nicholson.

Jason Statham was the first actor, besides Sylvester Stallone, to say he will be returning for this film.

Leviathan Recap

Jamie

I was initially jazzed to check out the New York Times for the day that Leviathan was released. I presumed I’d get maybe a double page ad with quotes and cool images, but no. Just a single page and it’s kind of terrible:

One question: why? Nothing about that is cool or attractive. Which is ironic because the one interesting thing about Leviathan in the paper is the review. Interesting because it’s actually pretty good. Compares it very favorably to Deepstar Six, which I don’t think I’ve seen (mistake). Ironic because the punchline of the review is “Survival of the Prettiest.” God I love old school newspaper movie reviews. Stuff a bunch of film buffs into a theater to watch Leviathan and then have them write 300 words about it. We have to go back.

To recap, Peter Weller is a geologist tasked with wringing some money out of a deepsea mining operation. He is on the verge of success and the company is thrilled. Unfortunately, the miners are less thrilled with this nerd alert raining on their parade. A few days before they have to surface one of the miners trips down a canyon and finds a wrecked Russian ship. It’s all very confusing because there is no record of the ship sinking in Russian logs and amongst the stuff they find is a video suggesting that some terrible medical event occurred. Everything is quarantined, but one of the hard partying miners snags a Russian flask for himself. That’s a mistake because once he and a fellow miner down the vodka they become violently ill and begin to genetically transform. While the rest of them hurry to finish the mining operation, the two miners die from the illness. But that’s not all, soon they awaken in monstrous form and begin to merge into one big amorphous sea creature. Weller attempts to hide this event from the rest of the crew, but as they attempt to eject the monster from the rig they all discover what’s going on. Everyone is kind of freaking out. They run around a bunch, things burst out of peoples’ chests, etc. etc. etc. Everything falls apart and everyone dies except Weller and his lady love, Willie. They also find out the mining company is ready to abandon them and declare them dead. Not so fast, because Weller and Willie don their underwater suits and surface. They battle the monster and some sharks one last time before blowing the creature to smithereens. He then punches out the head of the company and smooches his lady… hard. THE END.

Helllll yeah, Leviathan is some fun stuff. Like Iron Eagle it’s a straight rip-off of multiple blockbusters (Alien and The Thing most prominently), but some decent effects go a long way to papering all that over. We got monster effects, some underwater effects, and a big ol’ sci-fi set that is fun to look at. It certainly lags here and there (and really wants you to care that the people on the rig might not get their money), but ultimately it hits at the right moments for me to be into it. Probably the biggest ding against it is the end of the movie. Once they get to the surface it briefly transforms into a 70’s flick with bad effects and a bunch of sharks for no reason. It’s weird. Anyway, if it had been made just five years later I’m guessing it would have ended up straight-to-video, but I’m glad it didn’t. As for The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck, the less said the better, probably. It’s not the worst thing ever, but it’s lazy. It’s definitely supposed to have its tongue planted in its cheek, but it’s shot so rotely that it’s hard to tell. Don’t know if Keith took over directing duties to get the film made or chose it as a Keith auteur vehicle, but either way makes sense this was his last (substantial) effort.

Hot Take Clam Bake! I’m gonna say it, I think Peter Weller was behind the whole thing. No, not inventing the Monster Disease, but rather using his big ol’ brain to know exactly how to set everything up for him and his lady love to escape to the surface after satisfying their mining contract. You think that company is leaving all that sweet, sweet ore at the bottom of the ocean. No way. And once they bring it up Weller will be sitting there ready to cash in. It’s a classic corrupt cop situation. Weller has spent his days being a low-paying geologist. When is it his time to get the money reserved for those he helps? Now, that’s when. So when they find that disease he sees his shot. Let a big dumbo grab the diseased liquor and it’s off to the races, and off to Moneytown, USA (population: Peter Weller). Hot Take Temperature: the blue heat of Meg Foster’s eyes.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about The Abyss?! … nope, wait. Are we talking about The Thing?! … wait, no, it isn’t that either. Are we talking about Alien?! … shoot, not that either. What the hell are we talking about? Oh right, Leviathan. Distinction without a difference init? Let’s go!

Hey look at us, I think this film is legit a zero out of five on the how-you-say Soldier Boyz racism scale. Congrats.

I actually liked this film, but I will reiterate: this is one of the most derivative films I’ve ever seen. It is just straight up a Thing and Alien mash-up set under the sea. But it has solid practical effects and is just ultimately pretty fun.

It is a smorgasbord of 90s shlock masters too. Peter Weller? Ernie Hudson? Throw in some Hector Elizondo and Daniel Stern and baby you got a stew cooking.

And gimme all that sweet “corporations and inherently evil entities willing to sacrifice their workers for a buck (and probably a weapon to sell to some equally evil military/industrial minded country)” junk. Inject it directly in my veins, even if it is just pure uncut Paul-Reiser-in-Alien. Yeah … there isn’t an original bone in this horrific monster fish’s body.

Oh yeah, and as Jamie said the ending is crazy. All of a sudden they are like “Hooray we are saved! … oh no there are sharks! … oh no the monster is also here and Ernie Hudson is dead! … well I’ll blow up the monster! … Hooray we are saved!” It is a little like they didn’t quite know how to end the film when they had it right there: have it end with them going up to the surface, and have them break the surface to a shining sun. Get it? They lived and they know the company tried to screw them. C’mon guys, I’m tearing up here, let’s get a Sklog Cut with that ending as the only change.

As for the friend this week … sigh. The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck. Let’s just get this out of the way: This is a solid three or four on the how-you-say Soldier Boyz racism scale. I think it has to be a four, I think there is someone in black face in this film although I couldn’t swear by it. Also, I don’t know what the deal with 90s schlock is with rape, but someone gets raped or almost raped in every film. It makes it very hard to enjoy these films when sexual assault and racism are put front and center as motivations for our garbage “hero” to kill people. That being said: this movie is also poorly made, and the acting is dire. It is like David Keith saw Indiana Jones and was like “I could do that, what is it really? A garbage drunk cracking wise and slaying ladies? I can do that.” And then he just made River of Death with Michael Dudikoff, added in some jokes and rape and went “nailed it.” You didn’t nail it David Keith. Not even close. Hell, River of Death didn’t even nail it! I have to give it a D. The action would be kind of fun. You know … without the racism and rape.

Good Product Placement (What?) for Pepsi which for some reason on a private underwater lab just has vending machines around. I’m going to give this an Unlikely Setting (Where?) for simply “underwater” which I unironically love. I think this is potentially an A+ MacGuffin (Why?) for the sunken ship Leviathan and the unintended evil it contained. And a Worst Twist (How?) for the obvious reveal that the evil corporation is, it turns out, evil. I think this is a Good and nothing you say will make me change my mind!

Read about my sweet sequel in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Leviathan Quiz

‘Ello everyone! On man, so get this. I was on the bottom of the ocean (natch) mining my ore (natch) when a big mutant fish thing attacked and tore all my friends to pieces! Luckily, I just suffered a blow to the head and a massive concussion. I don’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Leviathan?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) There’s some tension on the bottom of the ocean because someone isn’t doing their job. What event occurs that kicks off the issues between RoboCop and the doctor?

2) So … what is the deal with RoboCop, why is he on the bottom of the ocean anyways?

3) So … what is the deal with the doctor, why is he on the bottom of the ocean anyways?

4) They find a ship called Leviathan on the bottom of the ocean, but it isn’t supposed to exist. What is on the ship that starts to cause everyone to mutate?

5) The movie is pretty much just people running around away from the fish monster at this point, but in the end how does RoboCop, the fourth Ghostbuster, and … the lady, end up getting back to the surface?

Bonus Question: Welp, RoboCop just punched his boss out. Definitely fired right?

Answers

Leviathan Preview

September 1st, 1996

Jamie and Patrick are looking fresh. Earrings? Gold. Jeans? Gold. Apple juice? Gold. They’re about to turn ten and are setting the standard with their gold swag. Their dad had one word of advice for them as they navigate this crazy thing we call life: “How many times can you watch Tango and Cash?” With that he swept his arm in the general direction of their local swimming hole and called it ‘nature’s movie.’ Despite this being wrong (Nature’s movie is Baraka) they ventured forth and found themselves at Ralston’s Gulch. It’s cannonball central as they take the swimming hole by storm. Suddenly, right when they begin another one of their patented Twin Double Cannonballs, they feel a tug at their shorts and find themselves completely nude in the freezing waters. A couple of middle school bullies are laughing at them from the shore while holding their shorts above their heads. “Why don’t the little babies come out and playyyyy-ayyyy?” they yell, and all the other people at the gulch laugh. “We look like fools,” Jamie says and laments that he doesn’t have a shirt to rip clean off to fashion crude shorts out of. “Do you remember the last time we ended up completely nude in public?” Patrick reminds Jamie. He does, it was when those two hot dogging pilots at the air show buzzed them and the speed of the jets ripped all their clothes off. “And what did we do then?” Patrick continues. “Oh right, we took those foolz to schoolz,” Jamie says, pulling out a very cool phrase he coined. “We jumped in the water. Because in the water no one can see you nude and in the water…” With that their eyes glaze over and they enter a patented Twin Memory. That’s right! We are diving into Leviathan, an Alien/The Thing rip-off set underwater that if made just a few years later would have probably looked way cheaper and probably went straight to video. But instead it got a theatrical release. Good for us. We pair that with The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck, a weird little movie directed by David Keith… you know… before he realized he didn’t want to do that. Let’s go!

Leviathan (1989) – BMeTric: 34.7; Notability: 50

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.4%; Notability: top 2.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.6%; Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, Wild Orchid, Cyborg, The Karate Kid Part III, The Fly II, No Holds Barred, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Cutting Class, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, DeepStar Six, The Toxic Avenger Part II, Pink Cadillac, Shocker, Speed Zone, The Punisher, The January Man, The Horror Show, and 1 more; Higher Notability: Tango & Cash, Troop Beverly Hills, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Fletch Lives, Harlem Nights; Lower RT: The Horror Show, Speed Zone, Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects, The Toxic Avenger Part II, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Worth Winning, Night Game, Wired, Dream a Little Dream, Wild Orchid, No Holds Barred, She’s Out of Control, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Millennium, Chattahoochee, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, Cookie, Troop Beverly Hills, Three Fugitives, and 13 more; Notes: Played on television 40 times in the 90s, not bad. A lot of horror sequels in ‘89 as well, Friday the 13th 8 (played 27 times), Halloween 5 (15 times), Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Child (39 times), and The Fly II (35 times). So this played more that those which is interesting. More interesting (maybe) is none of the Sleepaway Camps played at all on television in the 90s … that seems crazy, but I ran a check and it seems to be the case. Sleepaway Camp, it turns out, is a purely post-2000 cult horror sensation.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Yet one more dreadful Alien clone, this one set underwater (like several other 1989 releases), with a team of men and women imperiled as they toil in the depths of the Atlantic. Skip it.

(Leonard, would you say that perhaps we should … spare ourselves? Anyways, you can tell two things from this review. First, the complete lack of interest by Leonard in horror films in general. And second, just how bad this film must be for him to not even bother to slam it very hard. Exciting.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G2OSQyIjGc/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G2OSQyIjGc/

(Love the voiceover immediately. You can explicitly tell this is just The Thing + Alien = Leviathan though. Amusingly unoriginal.)

Directors – George P. Cosmatos – ( Known For: Tombstone; Escape to Athena; The Cassandra Crossing; Of Unknown Origin; The Day the Fish Came Out; Massacre in Rome; The Beloved; Future BMT: Shadow Conspiracy; BMT: Rambo: First Blood Part II; Cobra; Leviathan; Notes: Died in 2005, but was retired from 1997 I think. His son is also a director having directed Mandy.)

Writers – David Webb Peoples – ( Known For: Blade Runner; Unforgiven; 12 Monkeys; Ladyhawke; Hero; The Blood of Heroes; Unforgiven; BMT: Leviathan; Soldier; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Unforgiven. Seemingly still alive at around 83 years old, but he hasn’t done anything since 1997 either.)

Jeb Stuart – ( Known For: Die Hard; The Fugitive; Blood Done Sign My Name; Vital Signs; Future BMT: Just Cause; Switchback; BMT: Leviathan; Lock Up; Another 48 Hrs.; Fire Down Below; Notes: Created Vikings: Valhalla more recently, but also hasn’t written a feature since 1997. We need to watch Switchback, it’s a serial killer film I’ve barely heard of.)

Actors – Peter Weller – ( Known For: RoboCop; Star Trek Into Darkness; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension; Naked Lunch; Mighty Aphrodite; Prey; Beyond the Clouds; Skin Trade; Of Unknown Origin; Shakedown; Cat Chaser; Butch and Sundance: The Early Days; Shoot the Moon; Just Tell Me What You Want; Repentance; Ivans xtc.; Dragon Eyes; The New Age; Shadow Hours; Top of the World; Future BMT: Screamers; The Order; Firstborn; Undiscovered; BMT: RoboCop 2; Leviathan; Notes: Was nominated for an Oscar for a short film, Partners, which is wild. He is obviously more well known for RoboCop because the rest of his filmography seems to alternate between Schlock and Cult Classics.)

Richard Crenna – ( Known For: First Blood; Sabrina; Body Heat; Hot Shots! Part Deux; Our Miss Brooks; Wait Until Dark; The Sand Pebbles; Death Ship; Jonathan Livingston Seagull; The Flamingo Kid; Breakheart Pass; The Evil; A Cop; Marooned; Doctors’ Wives; Table for Five; Star!; Catlow; Made in Paris; Stone Cold Dead; Future BMT: Summer Rental; Wrongfully Accused; BMT: Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rambo III; Leviathan; Jade; Notes: Nominated for four Emmys and won one for The Rape of Richard Beck. Almost certainly known to film lovers a as Colonel Trautman the man who “created” Rambo.)

Amanda Pays – ( Known For: The Kindred; Oxford Blues; Off Limits; A Grande Arte; Ablaze; Subterfuge; BMT: Leviathan; Notes: She was in a few episodes of The Flash, otherwise she appears to have been semi-retired for a while. Comes from an acting family, and is married to Corbin Bernsen. Which probably explains a bit role in Psych.)

Budget/Gross – $21 million / Domestic: $15,704,614 (Worldwide: $15,704,614)

(That is abominable. For a horror film especially. You design it for the $20 million budget expecting a $30-50 million return at least, but this is a bomb for sure.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 24% (6/25): A deep-sea thriller with an unusually strong cast and potent ideas, Leviathan quickly plunges into an abyss of weak thrills and lame kills.

(Sounds about right. The unusually strong cast is right, although with hindsight … well, let’s just say that Ernie Hudson and Peter Weller didn’t quite finish up the 90s as A-listers.)

NYT Short Review: Spare yourself. / Miners trapped on the ocean floor with a giant eel. / Adventure about metal mining on the ocean floor.

Poster – Leviasklog

(Very cool, although pretty unrealistic, poster. I’ve seen it before, but until you watch the movie you don’t really recognize how strange it is that they use an event from the end of the film to advertise the movie. A bit random. A.)

Tagline(s) – How long can you hold your breath? (C)

(Hmmmm, I guess this is not the worst it can be. It makes some sense and is intriguing. Although it doesn’t have much to do with the movie.)

Keyword(s) – daddio

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), The Godfather (1972), Scarface (1983), 12 Angry Men (1957), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Back to the Future Part II (1989), Dead Poets Society (1989), Citizen Kane (1941), The Game (1997), Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Future BMT: 79.0 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 58.9 Jury Duty (1995), 57.4 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.1 Ghost Dad (1990), 50.8 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.5 Sleepwalkers (1992), 49.3 My Girl 2 (1994), 46.4 Daddy Day Care (2003), 44.6 Man of the House (1995), 41.6 My Baby’s Daddy (2004), 41.6 Speed Zone (1989), 41.3 Club Paradise (1986), 38.9 Fled (1996), 38.3 My Father the Hero (1994), 37.9 Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), 36.9 Desperate Hours (1990), 35.8 Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984), 35.8 I Got the Hook Up (1998), 34.3 Spring Break (1983), 34.1 Father Hood (1993)

BMT: Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Cool as Ice (1991), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Poltergeist III (1988), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Fire Birds (1990), Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989), Virtuosity (1995), Double Impact (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Iron Eagle (1986), Rambo III (1988), High School High (1996), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Clifford (1994), Man Trouble (1992), Leviathan (1989), Universal Soldier (1992), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), The Postman (1997), Eraser (1996), Hackers (1995), Rising Sun (1993), Lock Up (1989), Magic in the Water (1995), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Best Options (Horror): 50.5 Sleepwalkers (1992), 37.9 Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), 34.7 Leviathan (1989)

(This was a sparse category. Ultimately I think this was chosen because it was 1990 and was the only real good option from that year.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Richard Crenna is No. 2 billed in Leviathan and No. 2 billed in Rambo III, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The experience was an adventure and a joy for Stan Winston and his monster-making team. Not only did they get to live in Rome for four months during filming, and even learn scuba diving, a recreational activity many of them continue to pursue to this day, but they also got to work with a director who was unusually generous with inviting their input. In addition to producing the creature effects, Cosmatos trusted Winston to direct the second unit action sequences. “George Cosmatos always let us take the lead in how to shoot the creature,” noted Landon. “He was such a big-hearted person, he would throw up his hands, and say ‘I don’t know what I’m doing.’ He’d just admit it and let us do what we knew how to do. We know what our characters can do and we know the best way to use them. We’re thinking about what our characters are going to have to do on the set the entire time we’re building them. So we are goldmines of information and knowledge. Some directors recognize that, and really rely on us.”

The creature effects team encountered some language differences during the making of Aliens (1986) in England, but the challenges were much bigger in Italy. “I always keep a log of everything we order on shows, just in case accounting comes back later and asks about it,” noted lead creature effects mechanic and on-set technician Richard Landon. “In my log from that show, you can tell that there were some real language issues, because a lot of times, instead of words, I drew pictures of nuts or bolts or that kind of thing. I would quite often have to draw a picture just to make it clear what I was talking about.” There were cultural differences too, such as the Italian’s crew tendency to drink large amounts of red wine at lunch. “They’d say, ‘Here, have some wine!’ remembered Mahan, “and we’d say, ‘Uh, thanks, but we’re not allowed to drink while we’re working.’ Of course, every once in a while, we’d sneak a little, but nothing like the way those guys were drinking it down.”

Deep Star Six (1989) was the first release of several underwater-monster-themed feature films released during 1989-90, including The Abyss (1989), Leviathan (1989), The Evil Below (1989), and Lords of the Deep (1989), and ‘The Rift’ (aka ‘Endless Descent’, 1990). With the exception of ‘The Abyss’, none of these films were box office hits.

The movie is set in the year 2027

Once, during the underwater photography, John Rosengrant and other members of the SWS on-set crew were underwater for so long and at such depth, that they were unaware of a violent storm that had come in, threatening to rip the topside boat from its anchor and smash it against nearby rocks. “We had no idea all of this was going on, until we came to the surface and saw all this commotion,” recalled Rosengrant. “We all go out of the water and helped to push the boat away from the rocks and hold it steady in this storm.”

Iron Eagle Recap

Jamie

Iron Eagles, assemble! And this is where me and Patrick swoop in flying mini fighter jets which transform like a couple transformers into Chris Klein and future academy award winner Josh Hartnett mechs. This is, of course, part of our bad movie themed children’s animated TV show, Two Guys, Two Bots and a Za Spot. Similar to the Bad Movie Twins storyline, this is the continuing adventure of me, Patrick, and our best friends CK-bot and JH-tron (and a pizza place). Unlike the BMT storyline there is less gleaming abs and hardcore frenching and more lessons learned and pizza. In this adventure we would be challenged to a race by Goobert and his Rude Tudes, but ultimately we would decline as it’s reckless and irresponsible. Meanwhile, CK-bot and JH-tron would go ahead and race them and make them look like total IDIOTS. Wait, what was I talking about?

To recap, Doug Masters is the hot dogging son of a hot shot pilot. While Doug’s hot dogging around his father gets shot down over [REDACTED]. At the same time he is rejected from the Air Force Academy (presumably for all the hot dogging), which is equally devastating. When it becomes obvious that the US government is going to do nothing to save his father (now sentenced to death) he recruits a former pilot, Chappy, to help him plan a clandestine and highly illegal rescue mission. At first Chappy doesn’t like all the rock music that Doug seems to need to aid in his hot dogging, but the seriousness with which the kid pursues the mission eventually grows on him. They are aided by a group of air force base youngsters who create a highly organized mission that may actually have a chance at success. The day comes and off they fly to take out all kinds of military installations in [REDACTED]. He hot dogs for a bit, blowing stuff up and killing like a thousand people. Chappy is hit and appears to crash in the sea, which only lights a fire under Doug. He demands the release of his father and despite some trickery by the Defense Colonel of [REDACTED] he’s able to kill loads more people and pick up his dad (what one might term The Ultimate Hot Dog). As they fly away it appears that they are going to be shot down, but at the last moment the US Air Force arrives and escorts them back home. There it’s revealed that Chappy survived! Hooray! They are both reprimanded, but in a cheeky twist Doug is “punished” by being forced to attend the Air Force Academy. Double hooray! THE END.

This is a very funny movie. Essentially they ripped off Top Gun but then decided to mix it up with Goonies. The whole time I was thinking, “I wonder how they are going to avoid having this kid blow up a bunch of people with the fighter jet he’s going to pilot?” The answer? They don’t. He just does it. It’s really no wonder that it almost immediately veers away from those family-friendly vibes and closer to an actual rip-off of Top Gun as they proceeded through the sequels. Besides that (and some very funny 80’s conservative political banter) it’s actually a pleasantly silly watch. As for Bitter Harvest, well… this is a film that kind of has to be seen to be believed. Very strange stuff. But get the kids out of the room because, despite Stephen Baldwin playing a totally weird dude, there are several very steamy sex scenes that you will be treated to. Kudos to the two lead actresses for really going for it.  Despite it being steamy and off-putting at the same time (somehow), I do have to give the film credit for one thing: I did not see the ending coming.

Hot Take Clam Bake! Iron Eagle is a scathing indictment of the US Military. No, I don’t mean the fact that the US Government is ready to leave a US pilot hero behind enemy lines to be executed without any kind of mission planned. No, that makes some sense. Don’t want to start a war without exercising some caution. No, I mean the fact that Doug is able to execute a two-man fighter jet excursion into enemy territory by basically donning a helmet and jumping into a jet. This is a child. Isn’t anyone checking ID’s? Worrisome stuff. Hot Take Temperature: A piping hot hot dog straight off the grill.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about Louis Gosset Jr. and a teenager committing high treason and killing dozens of people in an international incident involving David Suchet? Let’s go!

You heard that fucking right. In this film a teenager and Louis Gosset Jr. hop into fighter jets, fly across the ocean (including multiple mid-air refuels), kill dozens of people in definitely-not-Libya, personally kill the head of a sovereign nation’s defense administration in a dog fight, and then just … get away with it? Like they swear him to secrecy and stuff, but for real … are we at war with not-Libya? Right after the credits did I miss the part where we are now engaged in a land war in Africa?

Otherwise I mean … is this movie good? It’s goofy. But also, is that fine? Is it a good movie? I enjoyed it. It is explicitly propaganda with very weird messages about the military and government in general, but is an objectively fun film.

Suchet is funny because he is really only used as a villain in American productions and usually when they need someone “Arab adjacent” or possibly French (he is not, but he has a passable accent, possibly due in part to playing the famous Belgian detective Poirot on television). Lucky for me his inclusion allows me to ask the age old question for 90s films: Is this film how-you-say … racist? Verdict: one out of five Soldier Boyz.

Gosset Jr. is hilarious in this film, and he was really milking that Academy Award Winner sheen for all he got. All the power to him.

I could give or take the kid actors (although nice to see the kid from Teen Wolf killing it here too), especially the main character who acted a bit like the Karate Kid at his whiniest.

Some nice plane stunts in the beginning. That is probably the best bit to be honest.

The entire film would have been a bit more sensical if you took the beginning all the way through the planning stage, but then at the end Gosset Jr. came to him and was like “Sorry kid, but … I can’t let you do this mission. This is real shit. But I called in a few favors and they like the plan so I’m going in with a few wingmen and you’ll be in the room when it all goes down” and the message is basically like: sometimes you can’t take no for an answer, but also be smart and go through the right channels when real lives are on the line. In the end the result is the same (his father is saved), but ultimately the message is a bit softer and it makes far more sense that they are like: you’re really smart and you love flying, but most importantly you didn’t do the rash thing when it counted which is what we were worried about … you’re in the Air Force Academy kid. The End.

Did I make the film better or worse? I think better, but also I don’t think that film I just described has three hilarious sequels so … maybe the world is worse off in the long run.

And for this film we watched the very very (very) odd Stephen Baldwin film Bitter Harvest. So … what is this film? I can actually see why Stephen Baldwin did this film. On paper I’m sure it seemed pretty good. I’m sure the sex scenes weren’t so … explicit in writing. And it seems like a juicy part in that you are playing a somewhat odd and complex character. The thing that lets it down are the music is bonkers, and the sex scenes are graphic and unrelenting. You eliminate both of those and get a real director on this thing and it is possible you had a small forgotten indie on your hands instead of a small forgotten and tragically bad indie. You know what I mean? Anyways, I think this is a solid D. I would recommend this to no one. It is weird and you can find interesting stuff in it, but it is also crazy boring and took me a week to get through. This is a zero out of five on the how-you-say Soldier Boyz racism scale.

Obviously a Product Placement (What?) for the US Military Industrial Complex, just like with Top Gun. A pretty funny Fictional Setting (Where?) for definitely-not-Libya. I think the father is a living, breathing MacGuffin (Why?), because screw it. And I do love the amazing Worst Twist (How?) for Chappy being inexplicably alive at the end. This film is Good and I’ll fight anyone who thinks otherwise.

Read about my reboot in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Iron Eagle Quiz

Oh man, so get this. I was pulling like 1000 Gs in my stolen jet fighter when, naturally, my brain exploded and I blacked out. Now I can’t remember a thing. Am I dead? Regardless, do you remember what happened in Iron Eagle?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) In the beginning of the film Doug is waiting for a letter. From whom and what about?

2) So what race does he then participate in and who wins?

3) Right after though Doug’s dad is captured in definitely-not-Libya and sentenced to die. How many days does he have before he’s hanged?

4) Welp, if the military isn’t going to do anything, then Doug will! Doug then meets Chappy. Where does his meet him and why does Chappy agree to help him?

5) So what’s the plan, how are they getting his father out of this definitely-not-Libyan prison?

Bonus Question: You;re in the theater waiting for those sweet trailers to drop. When suddenly … is that Doug Masters music I hear?

Answers

Iron Eagle Preview

September 1st, 1997

Jamie and Patrick are looking phat. Belt buckles? Large. Jeans? Dusty. Mountain Dew? X-treme. They are trying out stylez in their tween years and let’s just say, it’s working. Their dad had one word of advice for them as they navigate this crazy thing we call life: “Bad things? Again?” With that he swept his arm in the general direction of the sky and called it ‘nature’s movie.’ Despite this being wrong (Nature’s movie is their imagination) they ventured forth and found themselves at the local hot air balloon park (or ‘loon park, as the kids say). Soon they are up in the air, free as a couple of dope looking birds feeling the wind blowing through their hair. Just when it seems they are about to reach a profound personal and professional moment of clarity a small airplane buzzes right by their ‘loon, nearly tossing them right out of the ‘loon basket (or ‘lasket, as the kids say). “What thuuuuu?” Jamie says, while Patrick shakes his fist at their tormeters. “Those must be the high school boyfriends of those girls we were scoping in the other ‘lasket”, Patrick says, pointing to the neighboring ‘lasket that happened to be carrying a couple of bodacious babes. Patrick and Jamie would have tried to explain that they actually already had girlfriends in the Niagara Falls area, but the pilot was long gone, having already accomplished his mission. “We look like fools,” Jamie says, ripping his shirt clean off. “Au contraire,” Patrick says and quickly reminds Jamie of the last time they were buzzed by a couple of hot dogging pilots. “Oh right, we rulez-ed those foolz,” Jamie says, pulling out a very cool phrase he coined. With that their eyes glaze over and they enter a patented Twin Memory. That’s right! We are entering the hazard sector and checking out the classic Top Gun rip-off (kind of) Iron Eagle. We decided to pair that with a very strange Stephen Baldwin flick called Bitter Harvest. So we’re going to have a very normal time watching this very normal double feature. Let’s go!  

Iron Eagle (1986) – BMeTric: 40.7; Notability: 45

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 4.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 10.3%; Higher BMeT: Howard the Duck, Troll, King Kong Lives, Maximum Overdrive, Raw Deal, Solarbabies, Firewalker, Poltergeist II: The Other Side, Sorority House Massacre, Club Paradise, Iron Eagle; Higher Notability: Howard the Duck, Jumpin’ Jack Flash, The Golden Child, Poltergeist II: The Other Side, Invaders from Mars, A Fine Mess, Ratboy, Raw Deal, Solarbabies, Club Paradise, Armed and Dangerous, The Clan of the Cave Bear; Lower RT: 8 Million Ways to Die, Solarbabies, King Kong Lives, Band of the Hand, American Anthem, Sorority House Massacre, Deadtime Stories, Nobody’s Fool, Firewalker, The Clan of the Cave Bear, Armed and Dangerous, TerrorVision, Dangerously Close, Club Paradise, Quicksilver, Howard the Duck, Tai-Pan, Maximum Overdrive, The Delta Force, Soul Man, and 3 more; Notes: Obviously the most interesting one is Soul Man (which played an astonishing 58 times, and the New York Times highlighted as “fast and funny” … no words). Anyways, I’m joking. I will say Band of the Hand is very weird looking (played 18 times), and the highest I looked at was The Golden Child (playing 92 times). I think mostly I was surprised to see how many times something like Solarbabies (21) or American Anthem (30) were played. This played more like Golden Child at a crazy 91 times, probably as a cheap action flick to play on HBO or USA. Premiered primetime, channel 11, on November 20, 1991. And that’s right! It was doing the Home Video Special! It played November 20, 1990, and then November 22 and 23, 1991, but otherwise not at all until 1993. Kind of weird, because it definitely shows that that strat predated Home Alone.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Dum-dum comic-book movie about an 18-year-old who commandeers an F-16 fighter jet and flies to the Middle East (playing rock music on his Walkman all the way) in order to save his dad, who’s been taken prisoner. Full of jingoistic ideals, dubious ethics, and people who die and miraculously come back to life. Not boring, just stupid. Followed by three sequels.

(Fun fact: the first three films received the same grade by Leonard. It is dum-dum indeed, and for the record, Louis Gosset Jr. isn’t a zombie at the end, he just has a dumb twist ending where his noble and inspiring deal was instead a noble and inspiring not-death.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S2CdOrSJ-8/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S2CdOrSJ-8/

(Already love the soundtrack. And I’m loving this guy’s ‘tude. Whatever, I already love this movie. Screw it. Also Suchet, bam, love it. They are using that “Academy Award Winner” status for Gosset Jr. for all it’s worth too.)

Directors – Sidney J. Furie – ( Known For: The Entity; The Ipcress File; My 5 Wives; Little Fauss and Big Halsy; The Appaloosa; The Boys in Company C; Lady Sings the Blues; Iron Eagle II; The Leather Boys; Purple Hearts; The Taking of Beverly Hills; Sheila Levine Is Dead and Living in New York; Night of the Juggler; Hit!; Iron Eagle on the Attack; The Naked Runner; Hollow Point; Rock My World; Doctor Blood’s Coffin; Gable and Lombard; Future BMT: Ladybugs; BMT: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace; Iron Eagle; Notes: Wild career, lots of action which then petered out with a few Dolph Lundgren direct to videos in the 00s. But he also directed episodes of 18 Wheels of Justice. The very meandering IMDb plot synopsis is worth a read. And yeah, its premiere was highlighted in the January 12, 2000 NY Times listing on TNN.)

Writers – Kevin Alyn Elders – ( Known For: Echelon Conspiracy; Iron Eagle II; Future BMT: Aces: Iron Eagle III; BMT: Iron Eagle; Notes: The trailer for Echelon Conspiracy is something else. He also directed Simon Sez which is nuts.)

Sidney J. Furie – ( Known For: The Boys in Company C; Iron Eagle II; Purple Hearts; The Taking of Beverly Hills; The Rage; The Lawyer; Night of Passion; A Dangerous Age; Future BMT: Aces: Iron Eagle III; BMT: Iron Eagle; Notes: He is incredibly old. He was born in 1933 and he was writing on television series in the 50s. Pretty wild that in his 50s he was writing-directing Iron Eagle of all things.)

Actors – Louis Gossett Jr. – ( Known For: An Officer and a Gentleman; The Punisher; Toy Soldiers; The Deep; Enemy Mine; The Principal; Travels with My Aunt; Diggstown; Three Months; The Perfect Game; The Choirboys; A Raisin in the Sun; The Landlord; The Laughing Policeman; Undercover Grandpa; Iron Eagle II; Left Behind III: World at War; Cover; Not to Forget; Finders Keepers; Future BMT: Blue Chips; Firewalker; Daddy’s Little Girls; Why Did I Get Married Too?; Delgo; Aces: Iron Eagle III; A Good Man in Africa; BMT: Jaws 3-D; Iron Eagle; Notes: He won an Oscar for An Officer and a Gentleman, and then he starting cashing dem checks. He obviously has an excellent filmography, I just also know he did a ton of garbage in the 90s. More power to him.)

Jason Gedrick – ( Known For: Risky Business; Backdraft; Born on the Fourth of July; Bad Boys; Iron Eagle II; Promised Land; Crossing the Bridge; The Zoo Gang; One Eyed King; War Flowers; Power 98; Massive Retaliation; Future BMT: The Heavenly Kid; Rooftops; BMT: Iron Eagle; Summer Catch; Notes: Incredibly, he’s an actual actor still. Not typical for these types of teen roles. He was in 10 episodes of Dexter.)

David Suchet – ( Known For: Flushed Away; The Bank Job; Executive Decision; Harry and the Hendersons; A Perfect Murder; Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes; Effie Gray; The Missionary; The Falcon and the Snowman; Foolproof; The Little Drummer Girl; Flood; A World Apart; To Kill A Priest; When the Whales Came; Trenchcoat; Sunday; Future BMT: American Assassin; Arthur and the Invisibles; The In-Laws; BMT: Iron Eagle; Wing Commander; Notes: Y’all know David Suchet! … right? Poirot? Whatever, he tends to play bad guys when they need someone vaguely Middle Eastern (which he isn’t. See this film, or Executive Decision), or someone French (which he isn’t. But Poirot is Belgian, which means he can play the French villain in Harry and the Hendersons).)

Budget/Gross – $18 million / Domestic: $24,159,872 (Worldwide: $24,159,872)

(That ain’t bad, and now we see why this film has two crazier sequels.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 20% (1/5)

(Oooooooo, a little synopsis for me? A blatant rip-off of Top Gun, this somehow is even more absurd and imperialistic.)

NY Times Short Review: Conventional but diverting Middle East kidnap-adventure. 

Poster – Fred ‘Iron’ Segal

(This is an A+… if it were the cover of a dime store thriller. Ha! C-.)

Tagline(s) – Break the sound barrier. Break the speed barrier. (F… but actually a nonsensical C-)

(Oh, so you didn’t want to write out the thousand words that are actually on the poster? I don’t even know where this one comes from, but it’s miles better than the poster’s “tagline.” Because I’m a professional I have to give this an F because it’s not the tagline I see.)

Keyword(s) – daddio

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), The Godfather (1972), Scarface (1983), 12 Angry Men (1957), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Back to the Future Part II (1989), Dead Poets Society (1989), Citizen Kane (1941), The Game (1997), Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Future BMT: 79.0 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 58.9 Jury Duty (1995), 57.4 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.0 Ghost Dad (1990), 50.8 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.5 Sleepwalkers (1992), 49.2 My Girl 2 (1994), 46.4 Daddy Day Care (2003), 44.6 Man of the House (1995), 41.6 My Baby’s Daddy (2004), 41.6 Speed Zone (1989), 41.3 Club Paradise (1986), 38.8 Fled (1996), 38.3 My Father the Hero (1994), 37.9 Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), 36.9 Desperate Hours (1990), 35.8 Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984), 35.7 I Got the Hook Up (1998), 34.7 Leviathan (1989), 34.3 Spring Break (1983)

BMT: Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Cool as Ice (1991), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Poltergeist III (1988), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Fire Birds (1990), Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989), Virtuosity (1995), Double Impact (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Iron Eagle (1986), Rambo III (1988), High School High (1996), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Clifford (1994), Man Trouble (1992), Universal Soldier (1992), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), The Postman (1997), Eraser (1996), Hackers (1995), Rising Sun (1993), Lock Up (1989), Magic in the Water (1995), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

Best Options (Action): 41.6 Speed Zone (1989), 41.0 Iron Eagle (1986), 38.8 Fled (1996), 36.9 Desperate Hours (1990), 27.9 Krull (1983), 25.7 Any Which Way You Can (1980), 25.7 The Cowboy Way (1994), 24.6 A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994), 24.5 A Fine Mess (1986), 20.8 Kickboxer (1989), 18.5 Stick (1985), 12.1 Only the Strong (1993), 8.0 Let It Ride (1989)

(Hellllllll yeah. Love to see it. We’ll hit up a bunch of these in the future. Krull in particular is a weird but very fun film I would like to revisit at some point.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tim Thomerson is No. 4 billed in Iron Eagle and No. 5 billed in Rhinestone, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (4 + 5) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 18. If we were to watch American Dreamz we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – During the Snake Scene, in which Doug Masters races his Cessna 150 against a motorcycle-riding Knotcher, the pilot of the Cessna 150 Aerobat was renowned aerobatic pilot Art Scholl. He was killed later that year when his Pitts S-2 camera plane crashed while filming in-cockpit footage for the flat spin sequence in Top Gun (1986).

The character of Colonel Charles “Chappy” Sinclair was inspired by the real life U.S. Air Force General Daniel “Chappie” James, Jr. General Chappie James was a member of the famed all-black Tuskegee Airmen, and also flew fighter jets in the Korean War and the Vietnam War. He later became the first black four-star General in U.S. history.

In some scenes, some of the ordinance carried on the F-16s was real, rather than props. At one point during filming the Israeli Air Force (IAF) was called upon to carry out a strike against terrorist targets in Lebanon. A ground controller saw a pair of IAF F-16s already in the air with the required load-out, and vectored them toward the target. They were halfway to the target when someone realized the aircraft that had been ordered to attack were attached to the film shoot, and that the planes were emblazoned with American markings and insignia. They were recalled from the strike in time to avoid an international incident.

This film was originally intended to be released in the summer of 1986, but the release was pushed up to January to avoid competition and confusion with Top Gun (1986).

Morgan Freeman auditioned for the role of Chappy Sinclair.