Tag: cycle: films of 1986

Raw Deal Recap

Jamie

Whenever I watch a BMT film I try to put it in context of what we’ve watched before (or in the cases of adaptations/sequels what had come before it). In the case of a fairly mediocre, original action film like Raw Deal that can leave me at a bit of a loss for my initial reaction to the film. The one single thing that stood out for me with the film was the excessive violence committed by Arnold. Not only does he have a terrible home life (his wife is a drunk who hates him), but then he proceeds to fake his own death and kill approximately 40 people throughout the film. It was strange. It was very 80’s in the sense of “these criminals deserve to die and Arnold is fully justified in doling out retribution against them.” If you had to put it into context you’d have to compare it to the Sly Stallone classic Cobra that came out the same year. Obviously Cobra is a lot more hilarious than Raw Deal because Sly wrote it and he’s insane, but they do share that sense of retribution. The other odd thing they share is Sly and Arnold both harping on dietary health. They both tell people they shouldn’t be eating certain things at certain times. Very weird and very 80’s (which is how you can describe all the films this cycle).

Settings 101! This is a very Chicago film. It’s mentioned very frequently regarding the mob boss and you get some really nice scenes with the Chicago skyline. Additionally, since Arnold is undercover with a mob boss, the Chicago PD is featured prominently in the film, which provides a number of vehicles with “Chicago” printed on the side. However, there is nothing about Chicago in the film that takes it from a setting to a Setting. This could have been set in LA or Miami without missing a beat. So this is pretty clearly a C+ film. I feel like that might actually be the most common grade we’ll end up seeing: the film where the setting is mentioned numerous times, but doesn’t become integral to the plot.

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! The only people who got a Raw Deal was the audience! YouknowwhatImean?! Uh, so yeah. Up until this point the cycles this year were killing it. We hit classic after classic to the point where I got bored with how classically bad everything was and I nearly forgot about the dire mapl.d.map cycles of yore. Well we are back. Somehow 1986 is just terrible for bad movies. The ones that are well know are barely movies and just dull, and there just aren’t a lot of them. And honestly, the future for the cycle doesn’t look bright. Bear with us and revel in the fact that this is our lives and not yours. Sigh. Let’s get into it.

  • The Good – I thought Arnold was fine. I thought the main story was okay. It didn’t seem to go too over the top with the organized crime stuff, although it was a bit crazy in how they portray Arnold going undercover among people who are literal maniacs. That is about it.
  • The Bad – Pretty boring and the action was nothing to really write home about. The screenplay is horrible, with a ton of WTF lines sprinkled throughout. The ending is somewhat unbelievable since Arnold literally goes around killing people and the local police and FBI just shrug their shoulders and say “good for you man, you killed all the baddies”. The immediate ending it laughable just from the perspective of Arnold making his former boss walk again through sheer willpower.
  • The BMT – No, the movie is first and foremost probably a little too good. It isn’t a completely terrible movie beyond the screenplay which is an atrocity. But mostly it is just forgettable and a bit boring. If you aren’t paying attention it is confusing and if you are paying attention it is boring. And it isn’t like Arnold is somehow hilarious, he does a fine job. Just kind of blah.

Time for another Sklog-trospective. In this case what I noted in the preview was how interesting it was that two very accomplished Spaghetti Western writers are credited with a story credit. And indeed, you could imagine the film as a western. A former US Marshall disgraced after killing a suspect on the run operates as a small town sheriff on the frontier. His former partner comes to tell him a gang has been terrorizing a local area and has killed his son (also a US Marshall) and he’s looking to do a little off-the-record vengeance. The sheriff agrees and joins up with the band under the guise of criminal looking for a little action. Ultimately, the sheriff deals out some bloody justice in an extended shootout in his town, and rejoins the Marshalls, who are grateful for the help. Totally plausible. I would watch that (especially if it starred Arnold).

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Raw Deal Preview

This week we move onto the action genre in 1986. The most prominent BMT film of the year is arguably Cobra, but we’ve obviously already indulged in that classic. Instead we went a little off the beaten path with one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s lesser known star turns Raw Deal. This film came out around the time that Arnold was ready to move on from his time as Conan. He was constrained by a multi-sequel Conan deal with Dino De Laurentiis and agreed to star in the film in exchange for dissolving the contract. I’ve always been intrigued by this film considering it has been largely lost to time, so this should be exciting. Let’s go!

Raw Deal (1986) – BMeTric: 38.9

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(Everything is pretty normal here. I have a feeling that is going to be a trend with films from ‘86. The main interesting thing I would say is that the rating used to be so low! Mid-fours is really low. It make me think that the actual rating average indeed used to be very low. I didn’t see any evidence of this in previous studies … but when I see this I get very confused. Regression to the mean I guess dictates that bad films used to be worse, so I guess it is reasonable to assume that bad films ratings have tended to go up in the last 10 years)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Stupid action movie about brawny ex-Fed who helps an old pal clean some dirty laundry – and bust a major crime ring. Sense of humor helps… but not enough.

(Shhhh, shhh, shh, shhhh. Leonard… you had me at “stupid action movie.”)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UUlyAn5YqI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UUlyAn5YqI

(I really debated on whether to use this trailer or not. It clearly was made recently for some DVD release or something. Then I saw that this is truly the “official trailer.” The one that is used on Amazon and stuff. So I guess we have to use it. And with all that said: it looks rad.)

Directors – John Irvin – (Known For: Hamburger Hill; The Dogs of War; Next of Kin; The Boys from County Clare; A Month by the Lake; Shiner; Widows’ Peak; Turtle Diary; BMT: Raw Deal; Ghost Story; City of Industry; Notes: British director actually probably best known for his work on the miniseries adaptation of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, which kicked off his career.)

Writers – Luciano Vincenzoni (story) – (Known For: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly; For a Few Dollars More; Malèna; A Fistful of Dynamite; Death Rides a Horse; BMT: Raw Deal; Orca; Once Upon a Crime…; Notes: Classic spaghetti western writer and Italian script doctor. Died in 2013 at the age of 87.)

Sergio Donati (story) – (Known For: Once Upon a Time in the West; For a Few Dollars More; A Fistful of Dynamite; La siciliana ribelle; BMT: Raw Deal; Orca; Notes: Same as a above (beside the dying part). Collaborator of Sergio Leone and Dino de Laurentiis.)

Gary DeVore (screenplay) – (Known For: Running Scared; The Dogs of War; Back Roads; BMT: Raw Deal; Notes: Unfortunately now known most for the bizarre circumstances surrounding his death. He disappeared while on his way to deliver a completed script. A year later his car was found in an aqueduct with him still inside with both hands missing. Conspiracy theories maintain that DeVore had worked in the CIA during the Panama invasion and wrote a script revealing top secret circumstances surrounding that invasion and so he was assassinated.)

Norman Wexler (screenplay) – (Known For: Saturday Night Fever; Serpico; Joe; BMT: Staying Alive; Raw Deal; Notes: Nominated for two Oscars for Joe and Serpico. Had bipolar disorder and was arrested in 1972 for threatening to shoot Richard Nixon. He is also the inspiration for the Andy Kaufman alter-ego Tony Clifton. He died in 1999 from a heart attack.)

Actors – Arnold Schwarzenegger – (Known For: Terminator 2: Judgment Day; True Lies; The Terminator; Predator; Kindergarten Cop; The Expendables; Total Recall; Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines; Escape Plan; The Expendables 2; Maggie; Commando; Conan the Barbarian; The Running Man; The Last Stand; Welcome to the Jungle; The 6th Day; Red Heat; Dave; The Long Goodbye; Stay Hungry; BMT: Batman & Robin*; Junior*; Hercules in New York; Red Sonja; Jingle All the Way*; Collateral Damage; End of Days; Raw Deal; Sabotage*; Around the World in 80 Days*; Conan the Destroyer*; Twins; The Expendables 3*; Cactus Jack; Eraser; Last Action Hero; Terminator Genisys*; Razzie Notes: Won the Razzie Award in 2005 for Worst Razzie Loser of Our First 25 Years; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2001 for Worst Actor for The 6th Day; in 2000 for End of Days; in 1994 for Last Action Hero; and in 1983 for Conan the Barbarian; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2015 for Worst Supporting Actor for The Expendables 3; in 2005 for Around the World in 80 Days; in 2001 for The 6th Day; and in 1998 for Batman & Robin; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2001 for Worst Screen Couple for The 6th Day; Notes: Don’t need notes on an actor of this level. My top choice for next BMT film in his filmography is Collateral Damage. (*) BMT or previously seen films.)

Also stars Kathryn Harrold (While she does occasionally do television acting she is now a therapist for the most part according to her personal website) and Sam Wanamaker (As far as BMT he has only been in Superman IV. Otherwise an accomplished Shakespearean director in England)

Budget/Gross – $11 million / Domestic: $16,209,459

(This miniscule return on this movie is somewhat notable because it drove Dino De Laurentiis into bankruptcy. This movie was supposed to be the key to pulling De Laurentiis out of bankruptcy but was instead a pretty bad bomb all things considered.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (3/12): No consensus yet.

(Oops. We need a consensus: For Arnold this was indeed a Raw Deal. Entertaining at times, it never manages to be anything but a rote action feature, with a terrible screenplay to boot. Sounds possibly fun, but depends entirely on how bad that screenplay is.)

Poster – Sklog Deal (B)

raw_deal

(This is an amazing poster. Wish the title font was better. But the coloring and framing is good, and Arnold looks just cartoony enough to forgive. Although clearly the most amazing thing about the poster is the fading series of “Schwarzenegger” in the background. Ridiculous.)

Tagline(s) – The system gave him a raw deal. Nobody gives him a raw deal. (D+)

(That is just awful. The repeat of “raw deal” is jarring. Only not an F because it does hint at the plot.)

Keyword(s) – fbi; Top Ten by BMeTric: 72.8 I Know Who Killed Me (2007); 71.6 Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003); 70.8 Torque (2004); 70.4 Taxi (I) (2004); 67.7 Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002); 66.5 Big Momma’s House 2 (2006); 64.5 The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (2000); 63.4 Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009); 61.1 Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (2005); 59.9 Big Momma’s House (2000);

(Double Big Momma’s House?! This list is the greatest list of all time. I’m going to do an all night FBI movie marathon and this will be the list. It will run from ten to one (it keeps the Big Momma’s Houses in order!!!!). Big Momma’s House 2 into Ecks vs Sever into Taxi?! My god. That is a 24 hours of true misery.)

Notes – Arnold Schwarzenegger only agreed to star in this picture after much haggling in exchange for dissolving his multi-picture agreement with Dino De Laurentiis. He had one picture left with the producer and was actually very interested in doing Total Recall (1990), but De Laurentiis objected, feeling that he was not suitable for the lead role of Quaid. Instead, Patrick Swayze was already cast before the bankruptcy.

According to Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dino De Laurentiis decided to produce this film because he needed quick cash for his long gestating project Total Recall (1990). At that time, he owned the rights to the film. The failure of this film to make adequate money (only $16 million) resulted in De Laurentiis’ bankruptcy and Recall’s sale of rights to Carolco. (This is actually a rather interesting story. Old school Hollywood machinations. It makes me ever more curious about the Italian connection in the screenplay list)

In an interview to promote the film, Arnold Schwarzenegger said this was the first film where he got to wear an elaborate and modern wardrobe. He said that before this role, his wardrobe budget for a film was about “10 dollars”.

Originally intended to be called “Let’s Make A Deal.”

During production and filming the movie was to be called “Triple Identity” – a reference to the fact that the Schwarzenegger character goes from being an FBI Agent (1), to a local cop (2) and then to undercover operative (3). Several scripts exist for the film with the title on the front page. “Raw Deal” was chosen to make the film sound more like a regular action movie.

The weapon that Kaminsky uses in the final shootout of the movie (and which he brandishes on the poster) is a Heckler & Koch HK-94 carbine, a semi-automatic civilian version of the MP5 submachine gun. (Firearm database at its finest)

A sign at the entrance of the oil refinery that Mark Kaminsky (Arnold Schwarzenegger) blows up at the beginning of the film reads “Irvin Oil Processing Company.” The film was directed by John Irvin. (coool)

There are similarities between this movie and Arnold’s other films The Terminator and Commando. Arnold’s character says “I’ll be back.” and gets ready his arsenal of weapons ready for war in all 3 movies. Robert Davi’s character wears the gargoyles sunglasses like Arnold in Terminator.

Joey Brenner’s social security number reads: 567-34-5787. 567 is a prefix for California, which means the card was issued there. His passport id shows H1032642. (Please … let this be the only indication that this film takes place in California)

Golden Child Recap

Jamie

I feel like if The Golden Child were to have aired on Comedy Central during my childhood I would have come away with very fond memories of it. It had all the things that I loved as a kid: the occasional joke, some mystical shit, and interesting exotic settings. It’s like a really shitty Indiana Jones… except my child brain wouldn’t have recognized the “shitty” part and would have just thought it was “like Indiana Jones.” Unfortunately that’s really the only particularly good thing about it: that I might have liked it as a child. Even the things I would have liked are things that my adult brain recognizes as being incredibly strange. These include a surreal dream sequence, an opening montage that better fit a music video than an actual film, monster-human characters straight out of Masters of the Universe, and a part-animated finale. Just weird shit. The weirdest thing though is a scene where the main villain totally flubs a line and they chose to leave it in the film. I couldn’t tell why. It’s not even a funny flub. He just stumbles over a line and they kept it in. It’s a BMysTery that will probably never be solved: why is there a blooper left in the final cut of The Golden Child. The world will never know. Funny enough I don’t think all the weird stuff even sunk the film at the time (it was the 80s after all). I think it just wasn’t that funny. It reads as one of those films that had a serious script with random [Eddie Improvises] notes throughout. Like Beverly Hills III. Just hope that a not funny movie can be made funny enough… and it wasn’t.

Settings 101! Settings 101! It’s become a staple of the first part of the email (along with Audio Sklog-entary, when applicable) to the point where it really isn’t even a game at this point. It’s simply part of life. The Golden Child was pretty sweet for Settings. Not really because the main setting was super important, but rather because the secondary locations (Nepal and Tibet) are rare enough that this would fit nicely into an international mapl.de.map (whenever we choose to start that). As for the main location, it was established in quick order that Eddie Murphy lives and operates in Los Angeles. How do we know? In the opening of the film there is a crazytown montage of Murphy carousing around LA. There are flashes of major landmarks (Pink’s, Randy’s Donuts, and a triple take of the Hollywood sign), along with mentions of Hollywood, California license plates, and LA addresses. Also Eddie Murphy works closely with the LAPD. Basically there is as much conversing about LA as a setting as possible, without explicitly acknowledging the setting to the audience directly. On top of this, there is nothing about the setting that makes it important to the film. Could have very easily been San Fran and nothing really would have changed. I believe this is a clear C+ film, and I love it for it.

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! The Golden Child? More like Cold and Mild! Amirite? Because I mean … this movie is weird. Like just … let’s get into it.

  • The Good – 80’s Murphy is charming in almost any circumstance. He is incredibly charming in this movie. The storyline is vaguely interesting, especially how they go hard sci fi / fantasy throughout.
  • The Bad – The movie is boring. It also just kind of meanders around. And bar none this is one of the worst endings to a movie in the history of BMT. Spoiler Alert! Murphy’s love interest dies and everyone is just like “go get the Golden Child, he can cure her”. So he’s like “okay” then drives around LA for like 10 minutes, see a Tibetan bird, and is like sweet. Upon arriving at the hideout he then just kind of scoops the kid up and the bad guy becomes a stop-motion animated demon and just kind of pesters them on their drive to save the lady. It was nonsense and kind of ruined a somewhat pleasant if boring diversion otherwise.
  • The BMT – It is kind of strange to me that this is so crazy derided among critics. A BOMB Leonard? Really? Not even the Murphy charm adds a little half star there? It seems like they were aiming at Beverly Hills Buddha or something along those lines, where a ton of the humor is just Murphy using his street wiles in a fish out of water type situation. And I can appreciate it. I could see myself using the endings in bad movie examples going forward, but to me it was below average for BMT as a whole. It is just boring, not bad in any tangible way.

I’m going to introduce a new series to the email that, like Jamie’s Settings 101, can be done each time. This I’m calling Sklog-trospective. Basically I record a thought before the film, something I was particularly interested in from the last preview, and then explain it and any thoughts in the recap. This time what I was particularly interested in was the director of The Golden Child, Michael Ritchie. The Golden Child was interesting because of its success and large budget to an extent, but I personally found the director to be an enigma. Critics specifically mention how scattershot his directing choices are. He goes from weird niche horror, to pageant mockumentary, to the Fletch series. He worked consistently, but only really met with middling success. It is a strange story, one that I couldn’t quite cut through in my research. After watching the film … the man is an experimentalist at heart. The beginning to The Golden Child is a sight to behold. A frenetic portrayal of LA mixed with repeated clips of Murphy laughing or putting up signs or ogling ladies. And it was a precursor to the film. Stop motion animation is used twice. A very strange dream sequence introduces Murphy to the bad guys. The entire movie kind of makes no sense and is barely held together by Murphy’s improvisation alone. The direction in this film is a major issue, and it only makes me more fascinated by Ritchie. I’ve seen almost none of his films, but I might have to check out a few others just to see what they are like.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

The Golden Child Preview

This week we pick up in the 1986 cycle where we left off: at the beginning. In choosing a comedy film for the week we basically had two choices: the very straightforward comedy that we know is trash but was a small release no one really remembers exists (Club Paradise starring Robin Williams) OR one of the blockbuster releases of the year starring one of the megastars of the decade, but which isn’t quite a straightforward comedy and isn’t quite as poorly reviewed (The Golden Child starring Eddie Murphy). While we would typically pick the forgotten gem, we figured since we are doing this in commemoration of the year of our birth we should try to hit the major releases that may have defined the year for bad movie watchers. So without further ado we are watching The Golden Child starring Eddie Murphy. Shaping up to be quite the BMT year for Murphy. Already seen him in Harlem Nights and Norbit got elected to the Hall of Fame. Congrats. Let’s go!

The Golden Child (1986) – BMeTric: 29.6

thegoldenchild_bmet

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(That’s what I like to see. Kind of a rare BMeTric profile in that it sits perfectly on an inflection such that the regression to the mean pushes it up and then back down over the past 15 years. And yet all of that said … a fairly straightforward graph.)

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Top candidate for worst megahit of all time. A “perfect” child (Reate) is kidnapped despite his magical powers; as foretold by an ancient oracle, only Murphy can rescue him. Lewis is more wooden than most ex-models; entire reels go by with nary a chuckle. A box-office smash – but have you ever met anyone who liked it?

(That was rough. I think we’ll see a few BOMBs in this cycle. Leonard seems to really dislike the classically terrible film. Quality semi-colon game by Leonard as usual, but grim prognosis for the movie. Sounds boring. Gulp.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pd0-Je3XDQ

(Nope. Not jazzed. But that is just a “Eddie Murphy is in this!” trailer. As Leonard said this is right on the tails of Beverly Hills Cop, so they were really going for a similar vibe. The attitude does feel the same, but I can also see that the humor doesn’t seem quite right. It seems like a stretch.)

Directors – Michael Ritchie – (Known For: Downhill Racer; The Bad News Bears; Fletch; The Candidate; The Couch Trip; Prime Cut; The Island; Midnight Sting; Semi-Tough; Smile; The Fantasticks; BMT: Cops and Robbersons; The Golden Child; The Scout; A Simple Wish; Fletch Lives; Wildcats; Notes:  Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1981 for Worst Director for The Island. Huh I’ve never heard of The Island. Known initially for his sports movies, he moved into comedies in the late 80s. Described as “consistently inconsistent” by critics struggling to describe what seems, to me, to be a weirdly varied filmography. He died in 2001.)

Writers – Dennis Feldman (written by) – (Known For: Just One of the Guys; BMT: Species II; Virus; Species; The Golden Child; Notes:  Just One of the Guys! I can’t believe that isn’t BMT. Interestingly both Feldman and Ritchie went to Harvard. Worked as a script doctor before his big break with Just One of the Guys. Virus was his last film, but he’s been involved with the writer’s guild for years.)

Actors – Eddie Murphy – (Known For: Coming to America; Shrek; Shrek 2; Mulan; Beverly Hills Cop; Trading Places; Shrek the Third; Dreamgirls; Tower Heist; Shrek Forever After; The Nutty Professor; Beverly Hills Cop II; Life; Boomerang; 48 Hrs.; Doctor Dolittle; Bowfinger; Dr. Dolittle 2; Imagine That; BMT: Norbit; Nutty Professor II: The Klumps; Pluto Nash; Vampire in Brooklyn; The Haunted Mansion; Meet Dave; Holy Man; I Spy; Beverly Hills Cop III; Showtime; Daddy Day Care; Metro; Another 48 Hrs.; The Golden Child; A Thousand Words; The Distinguished Gentleman; Harlem Nights; Razzie Notes: Won the Razzie Award in 2010 for Worst Actor of the Decade for The Adventures of Pluto Nash, I Spy, Imagine That, Meet Dave, Norbit, and Showtime; Won the Razzie Award in 2008 for Worst Actor, Supporting Actor, and Supporting Actress for Norbit; Won the Razzie Award in 1990 for Worst Screenplay for Harlem Nights; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2013 for Worst Actor for A Thousand Words, in 2010 for Imagine That, in 2009 for Meet Dave, and 2003 for The Adventures of Pluto Nash, I Spy, and Showtime; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2008 for Worst Screenplay for Norbit; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2009 for Worst Screen Couple for Meet Dave, in 2008 for Norbit, and in 2003 for The Adventures of Pluto Nash, I Spy, and Showtime; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 1990 for Worst Director for Harlem Nights Notes: As we said mere months ago for Harlem Nights “Major movie star and stand-up comic. One of the most prominent BMT actors of our age”. Mr. Church came out to lackluster reviews recently, although Murphy was widely lauded for his effective dramatic turn.)

Also stars J.L. Reate – (The titular Golden Child. She was literally only in this movie … filmography complete!) and Charles Dance – (Famous for Game of Thrones now. Has never been in a BMT film and doesn’t seem like he is in any others …. but he was in the Australian movie Patrick! Sadly the remake, not the 1978 classic.)

Budget/Gross – $25 million / Domestic: $79,817,937 (N/A)

(As Leonard said this was a huge box office success at the time, the eighth biggest film of the year. But it was considered a disappointment by the studio which was hoping for something more along the lines of the $200+ million take of Beverly Hills Cop)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (5/19): No consensus yet.

(No consensus!? But that just won’t do. I’ll make one: A precursor to Murphy’s turn towards family-friendly fare, The Golden Child is too lightweight and silly. While amusing at times, it isn’t enough to save what is ultimately a bore. Blah, even I think it is boring and I haven’t even seen the movie yet!)

Poster – The Sklog-en Child (A)

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(I … love this poster. Just feels like the 80s. I find it beautiful. And there is no way to mock it! Replacing those letters would be painful. The only critique personally is that it is very Eddie Murphy in your face. But then again, that was the point of the movie.)

Tagline(s) – Eddie Murphy Is The Chosen One (C)

(Blah. And The Chosen One is meaningless outside of the movie’s context. This tagline could just be “Eddie Murphy is in this movie!” and it would be just as effective in my opinion. It is boring, but serviceable. Especially combined with that bomb poster.)

Keyword(s) – child; Top Ten by BMeTric: 75.3 Troll 2 (1990); 71.7 Baby Geniuses (1999); 64.4 Honey I Blew Up the Kid (1992); 62.4 Saving Christmas (2014); 56.1 Poltergeist III (1988); 53.2 A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989); 53.1 Cold Creek Manor (2003); 50.0 Wild Orchid (1989); 49.4 Suburban Commando (1991); 47.8 Halloween 5 (1989);

(What a weird list and weird keyword. Just child … although appropriate for Golden Child I suppose. I am looking forward to Suburban Commando. Do you think we can do a Hulkamania cycle? Maybe if we open to all wrestlers and got a loosey goosey with the rules.)

Notes – Although the Golden Child is referred to as a boy throughout the film, J.L. Reate is actually a girl.

Originally intended as a serious adventure drama with Mel Gibson in the lead role. After Gibson turned the film down and Eddie Murphy replaced him, the script was rewritten as a partial comedy. (You’d think since this so frequently gets mentioned in movie disaster post-mortems that it would be avoided … but maybe it happens so often to great success that the benefits outweigh the pitfalls. Who knows)

On the return flight from Nepal, Eddie Murphy starts to sing with the music on the headphones on the plane. The third line/gibberish he sings is, “Eddie Murphy is a cool man.”

Eddie Murphy turned down a role in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) in order to make this film. (Saaaaaaaaay what. Although I can see it. He would probably help Kirk and Spock get to the aquarium to see the whales to boisterous laughs. Sigh. What could have been.

John Barry was commissioned by Paramount Pictures to compose, produce, and record a complete score. However, Barry was taken off the project after creative differences and reaction to test screenings . Although Michel Colombier completed the score, a few cues by Barry remain in the film, and one, “Wisdom of the Ages”, was released on the original soundtrack LP. As of the present, the entirety of both Barry’s largely unused music and Colombier’s final theatrical version score have been issued on a limited edition 3-CD soundtrack by Capitol/La-La Land Records. (I know what Jamie is getting for Christmas)

In the dream, when Chandler meets Sardo, Fu and “The Fat dude” and Sardo carves the dagger on Chandler’s arm, the set is the same used in the last few seasons of Webster (1983) (Ha!)

Mechanic: Resurrection Preview

Big week here at BMTHQ. That’s because we are finally doing the third of four In Theaters Now interludes! This week we saw the release of Mechanic: Ressurection. The film is a sequel to 2011’s The Mechanic, which is in turn a remake of the Charles Bronson original. Considering how much we love homework for BMT, we jumped at the chance to catch up on the series (which is presumably now finished). The film had a crazy embargo on reviews, garnering less than 20 even after the weekend during which it premiered in 2300 theaters). Now it’s up in the 30’s, but still that’s remarkable. Consider this: Suicide Squad has 287 tallied reviews. Even the boxing movie Hands of Stone (released in 1/4 as many theaters on the same weekend) has double the reviews! It goes to show how much control a studio really has. If they want reviewers to see a film that can get it seen. If not? It makes its money and disappears. I’m actually pretty excited for this. I’m glad we were able to fit this in live. Let’s go!

Mechanic: Resurrection (2016) – BMeTric: 13.6

MechanicResurrection_BMeT

MechanicResurrection_RV

(Huh. That BMeTric is actually pretty high for having literally just come out. Nothing really to see since it is so early in its run, although its vote numbers look … small. I would guess maybe 6 thousand for the theatrical and 12K initially after VOD release? Won’t be a BMeTric barn burner, but if that rating keeps a tumblin’ then it will make like 20-30.)

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars –  How bad could it be? Not good, is the answer, learned at an early Thursday evening screening. Despite some of the most picturesque locations money can buy, and some not unimpressive looking movable props (yachts with helipads and such) and so on, “Mechanic: Resurrection” suffers from a storyline and script that strains credulity and insults intelligence even by the low bar set by the majority of contemporary action movies.

(Noice. Terrible scripts are my bag. You telling me we are getting Expendables level picturesque locales? Yes please! Count me in. Purposefully withholding the movie from reviewers is almost always a great sign. This ain’t Star Wars 8, they probably did this because it is straight hot garbage and they want Statham-heads to get out to the theater before they’ve realized their horrible mistake. They didn’t count on the bad movie twins though, I’m going to almost literally run to the theater to see this piece of trash)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-P3f_wDXvs

(That looks like garbage. Having seen the original and remake of the Mechanic it also doesn’t really fall in line with the movie at all. And, spoiler alert, Tommy Lee Jones is barely in this movie so him getting third billing and a strong presence in the trailer is hilarious. The music doesn’t even get me jazzed up, sigh.)

Directors – Dennis Gansel – (Known For: Die Welle; Before the Fall; Wir sind die Nacht; BMT: Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes: German director who also does some commercial work. I’ve heard of a few of his features, specifically Die Welle (The Wave). This could mark his attempt to transition to America, he has at least one smaller American film in pre-production. One of ten directors included in Berlin, I Love You, the counterpart to Paris je t’aime)

Writers – Philip Shelby (screenplay & story) – (BMT: Survivor; Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes: Was primarily a writer from 1988 to 2002, with his most notable work being a Covert-One book written with the ideas of Robert Ludlum, the creator of Jason Bourne, in mind. This is his first writing credit of any kind in nearly 15 years.)

Tony Mosher (screenplay) – (BMT: Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes: There is very little about this guy, although you can find his twitter and other information saying that he is, indeed, a screenwriter in LA. He seems to be tabbed for an upcoming project and a screenplay rewrite, but nothing major I don’t think.)

Lewis John Carlino (based upon the characters created by) – (Known For: The Mechanic; The Mechanic (2011); The Great Santini; Seconds; Resurrection; The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea; The Fox; The Brotherhood; BMT: Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes: Probably best known as the writer-director of the Oscar nominated film The Great Santini. He was himself nominated for an Oscar for Adapted Screenplay for I Never Promised You a Rose Garden (1978). A veteran of the stage it would seem that was his preferred medium more recently, although I have to assume his is retired since he is in his eighties.)

Rachel Long and Brian Pittman (screenplay) – (BMT: Mechanic: Resurrection; Stranded; Notes: Young screenwriters who just had their new script The Civilian bought by Millenium in the hopes to turn it into a “franchise … in the vein of The Bourne Identity” which makes sense. This is one of the projects listed for Tony Mosher above as well. The connections to spy movies and Bourne in particular in this writing team is very very interesting to me.)

Actors – Jason Statham – (Known For: The Mechanic; Spy; Fast & Furious 7; Snatch; Furious 6; Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; The Transporter; The Expendables; The Italian Job; The Expendables 2; Transporter 2; The Bank Job; Collateral; Death Race; Homefront; Crank; Hummingbird; Parker; Crank: High Voltage; Safe; Blitz; Gnomeo & Juliet; Cellular; BMT: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (BMT); Ghosts of Mars (BMT); The Pink Panther; Wild Card; The One; The Expendables 3 (BMT); Transporter 3; 13; War; Turn It Up; Killer Elite; Revolver; Mechanic: Resurrection; Notes:  A martial artist and accomplished diver Statham was discovered by Guy Ritchie while sports modelling. He is well known for a somewhat tongue in cheek approach to action bordering on comedy in places. Having a bit of a moment with Furious 7 and Spy.)

Jessica Alba – (Known For: Sin City; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Machete; Stretch; Never Been Kissed; The Killer Inside Me; A.C.O.D.; BMT: The Love Guru (BMT); Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D; Honey; The Ten; Little Fockers; The Eye; Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Good Luck Chuck (BMT); Fantastic Four; Machete Kills (BMT); Valentine’s Day (BMT); Barely Lethal; Into the Blue; Escape from Planet Earth (BMT); Razzie Notes:  Won the Razzie Award in 2011 for Worst Supporting Actress for The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete, and Valentine’s Day; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2009 for Worst Actress for The Eye, and The Love Guru; in 2008 for Awake, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and Good Luck Chuck; and in 2006 for Fantastic Four, and Into the Blue; Nominated for the Razzie Award in 2008 for Worst Screen Couple for Awake, Good Luck Chuck, and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: Somewhat of a BMT superstar. She is very involved with charity and occasionally has gotten into some controversy because of it (particularly in animal rights). Not much else to say really, her previous turn in Good Luck Chuck wasn’t a good look for her and I don’t think this movie is going to help much.)

Also stars Tommy Lee Jones – (Who I think we’ve never seen in a BMT film? Shocking)

Budget/Gross – $40 million / N/A (N/A)

(This is almost guaranteed to be a massive box office flop. No way it touches $40 million. But I guess blowing up boats and helicopters costs a bunch? Hopefully I see every penny of that $40 million on screen, that is at least usually fun.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (7/31): No consensus yet.

(I’m going to make a consensus: This movie literally makes you dumber. Bam. I am shocked it has seven good reviews, but I guess when you set the bar at “Does Jason Statham punch someone in the face and have a British accent? Yes? Two and a half out of four! Good for what it is!” I can kind of see how it ends up like that.)

Poster – Sklog-chanic Resurrection (F) 

mechanic_resurrection

(I really hate this poster. This is version one. There is a version two which is in the vein of the second version poster of the 2011 Mechanic which is in turn so inferior to the primary poster that it is laughable. Basically the second poster for the film is better in that it improves on the brown-ish banality of the 2011 poster, but that 2011 primary poster is so good that it makes me angry. In this one … the weird windowed nonsense, the kind of skewness of the entire thing, Statham looks weird in the poster, it tells you nothing about the film (except that there are babes, guns, and old man Tommy Lee Jones). Boo.)

Tagline(s) – Four continents. Three kills… Or the love of his life is dead. (D)

They hired him. They betrayed him. They’ll pay. (B-)

(The first one is like a Statham film, first two acts are great, but it drops the ball in the last third (boom, I don’t know if that is even true, I just thought I was so goddamned clever I had to throw it out there). But seriously, the last bit makes it too long and doesn’t carry over the theme. Four continents, three kills, two lovers, one mechanic, something like that maybe. The second is the same, but much better. The hired him, they betrayed him, they [blank] him, would have worked, although nothing comes to mind at the moment. Adequate though. I can see why they went with the first though, definitely tells you more and gets you jazzed up for the movie. The second is kind of blah in the end.)

Keyword(s) – hitman; Top Ten by BMeTric: 78.4 The Avengers (1998); 70.0 Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009); 66.0 Kangaroo Jack (2003); 62.8 Abduction (I) (2011); 60.1 Vampire in Brooklyn (1995); 58.8 The Crow: City of Angels (1996); 57.9 Tekken (2010); 57.3 Daredevil (2003); 52.8 Jupiter Ascending (2015); 52.7 Alex Cross (2012);

(BTW 132 films have the keyword “hitman” and a BMeTric of 20+! That is incredible. I’m willing to bet we are doing pretty well with those. I’m not sure Tekken is a real movie, but it does often come up on lists like this. I do not anticipate this movie even getting close to this list. Like … 30 tops I think, it is practically out of theaters in the UK already.)

Notes – Borrows heavily from the plot of Killer Elite (2011) wherein Statham’s character must complete 3 elaborate assassinations and make them look like accidents. (Or so this random IMDb user claims)

This will be Dennis Gansel’s first film not to star Max Riemelt in 14 years. (Makes a bit of sense. He seems like a young upcoming German director so I would assume he would work with young upcoming German actors a lot)

Jason Statham and John Cenatiempo both starred in Fast & Furious 7 (2015). (Ha! “Starring” in Furious 7 I guess means going uncredited as “Korpi”. Cenatiempo appears to be a big stunt guy, so that’s cool)

This will be Michelle Yeoh’s second action movie in 2016. The first is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny (2016).

John Cenatiempo has appeared in 2 films with Statham. The first was in Safe (2012) as the guy he stabs with a fork at the bar. (3 films including Furious 7 no? Jesus Christ, get your shit together random IMDb user)

The final line delivered by Tommy Lee Jones’s character in which he say “Bang! You’re dead” to the security cam footage is the same line used in Arthur Bishop’s (played by Charles Bronson) final letter to his apprentice Steve McKenna (played by Jan-Michael Vincent).

Deadly Friend Recap

Jamie

This week we began on the Sklog’s Birthday Bonanza, all movies from 1986, with a movie based on a book, Deadly Friend. As I watched Deadly Friend I couldn’t help but think to myself “Hmmm, I would have thought I’d be having more fun watching this than I am.” After all, this was a film that featured a bright yellow robot as a main character and a death scene involving a zombie throwing a basketball at someone’s head so hard that it literally explodes! But almost everything outside of those two things was pretty meh. But I’ll leave the further analysis of the film to Patrick.

In terms of the adaptation from the book Friend by Diana Henstell, we actually got a bit of a departure going from print to screen. The book was just a classic boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, girl is killed by father, boy resurrects girl on a stormy, lightning-filled night. Just classic stuff. At its core it’s just an update of the Frankenstein story to a 1980’s love story. The movie kept a lot of the main storyline (the boy’s weird robot best friend is probably the most peculiar), but scrapped a lot of the Frankenstein heavy features, choosing instead to focus on the love story (and eventually the gore). The most prominent change made was to the motivation of the main character bringing his love interest back from the dead. In the book the boy is distraught over her death and in a fit of anger/love/insanity steals her body from the mortuary and attempts to revive her (to horrifying effect). In the film they seemed to shy away from having the main character straight-up rob a grave. Instead he plans on installing a microchip into her brain to revive her from a coma. Finding that he is too late to the hospital and she has already passed away he decided to go forward with the operation and revives her (to horrifying effect). Just a little softening to make an unlikable character… well, still pretty unlikable. Overall, I found the book to be quite the drag (mostly because the main character is a pain in the ass and super weird) and unsurprisingly the movie it inspired isn’t much better. It’s basically the worst combo. At least with a lot of the other films we watched for this cycle I enjoyed either the film or the book (or both). In this case they both were just OK. Phew… finally no more books to read.

This week Settings 101 was an exhilarating adventure. We’ve been on quite the run of films with distinct locations, so it’s nice to have to work for it this week. While watching the film there were several scenes with fairly clear license plates shown to the viewer. Unfortunately, these license plates turned out to be prop plates with “Drive Safely” written at the top rather than the state name (kind of like the “Great State” license plates of The Tuxedo). Unwilling to give up I scoured the rest of the film for any other indication of location. Fortunately the film opens with a scene of the boy moving with his mother to their new home. He is navigating the highways and byways of America and has a map on his lap. That map? A map of Illinois! Now this would hardly be definitive except that there is a line marking their route through the state ending near the city of Peoria. Now does this really mark their route? How are we to know whether this truly means that the film is set in Illinois or if they just grabbed a random prop map for the film? Who cares! Set in Illinois! A definitive D-. Literally the least amount of information that could possibly be provided and still arguably have a set location. I. Love. It.

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Deadly Friend? More like Dreadful Fraud, amirite? We watched what I will describe as a very strange movie, and probably for a very strange reason. Let’s just get into it:

  • The Good – Um, honestly nothing? It isn’t really a movie I would say. It is somewhat charming in the technological youth it exhibits in its hopes and dreams of robots at that point in the 80s. But it is a barely movie through and through. Even the practical effects aren’t effective. And acting is okay for what it is I guess. But at that points in time it is a low-budget nonsense movie. I wonder why it has a cult following …
  • The Bad – I’ve already went through it a bit, but the movie is bonkers. It makes little sense in some ways (the main character is either totally insane or a sociopath) and then is only morbidly fascinating in most others. It is boring, and weird, and falls short in almost every way. As Jamie said: it should be more fun, but it isn’t.
  • The BMT – No. Too small and boring. Like Maximum Overdrive it is only BMT in showing how people completely botched horror in the 80’s. Probably the cocaine.

Ah, and why did we watch this movie? Because 1986 is amazing terrible for bad movies. It was between this and Shanghai Surprise as far as we could tell (since we have already seen Cobra) and Shanghai Surprise had to be reserved for Romance … so yeah, getting a bit sparse. This cycle … might be bad.

You know what? I’m going to leave it there. Deadly Friend isn’t very inspiring.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Deadly Friend Preview

And this week we are excited to announce the next cycle, a very special cycle indeed. This October the bad movie twins will be turning thirty (it’s a pretty big deal), and we we thought it would be fun to do movies that are also turning thirty years old. That’s right, the cycle is the Sklog’s Birthday Bonanza, The Films of 1986. And since we are in a transition period between cycles we had to find a movie that is not only based on a book, but also specifically came out in 1986. And that means there is really only one choice (no, seriously, I think there was literally only one decently qualified movie to choose from in this case): Deadly Friend. A Wes Craven picture based on Friend by Diana Henstell, this is considered somewhat of a cult classic, but is also very well known for the meddling of producers during production. It looks … really strange. Getting me kind of excited. Let’s go!

Deadly Friend (1986) – BMeTric: 24.2

DeadlyFriend_BMeT

DeadlyFriend_RV

(Ah, very similar to last week’s plots and I think this is a trend for films from the 80s / early 90s. It rises until it reaches a stable rating/votes proportion in the BMeTric, and this again is a very good example of a film regressing to the mean as time goes on. I think movies that existed prior to IMDb going “mainstream” tended to have a much broader range of ratings (perhaps) and so with older movies you see this regression to the mean much more starkly. Always interesting (to me))

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars –  Inventive teenager, in love with the girl next door, revives her (a la Frankenstein) after she’s killed. More heart, and more actual entertainment, than you’d expect from a Wes Craven horror film … though it’s probably the only movie ever made in which someone is beheaded by a basketball!

(Yeah, this movie sounds bonkers insane. I also don’t believe Leonard actually reviewed this. Maltin is notoriously uneasy about horror films, he’s like me, he finds them spooky scary. Maybe at the time he might have watched it as a job requirement, but I have a feeling this was compiled for the book and represents a review by some staff writer. Two and a half stars for this bullshit horror film. I don’t believe it. All that being said, this movie sounds like a genuinely terrible idea.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQj2GKwKp5w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQj2GKwKp5w

(Wow! I’m actually shocked at how cheap this looks. This was made after Nightmare on Elm Street, which I think is a surprisingly beautiful film, but this looks like an amateur film in comparison. Another weird thing? Nary a robot to be seen. And I know for a fact that there is a hilarious yellow robot in this.)

Directors – Wes Craven – (Known For: Scream; A Nightmare on Elm Street; Scream 4; Red Eye; Scream 2; The Hills Have Eyes; The Last House on the Left; Swamp Thing; New Nightmare; Paris, je t’aime; Music of the Heart; The Serpent and the Rainbow; BMT: Vampire in Brooklyn; Cursed; My Soul to Take; Scream 3; The Hills Have Eyes Part II; Shocker; Deadly Friend; Deadly Blessing; Notes: Died last year from brain cancer. Was set to direct Superman IV: The Quest for Peace but was dropped after feuding with Christopher Reeve.)

Writers – Diana Henstell (novel) – (BMT: Deadly Friend; Notes: Horror/Thriller writer in the 80s. Apparently worked in publishing for most of her career. That’s all I could find about her.)

Bruce Joel Rubin (screenplay) – (Known For: Ghost; Deep Impact; The Last Mimzy; Jacob’s Ladder; Stuart Little 2; Brainstorm; My Life; BMT: Deadly Friend; Deceived; The Time Traveller’s Wife; Notes: Won an Oscar for Ghost. The story is that he was going to turn down this film on principle as he had higher ambitions, but thought better of it because he really needed the money.)

Actors – Matthew Labyorteaux – (Known For: Mulan; Kaze tachinu; A Woman Under the Influence; Everyone’s Hero; King of the Gypsies; BMT: Bride Wars; Pinocchio; Deadly Friend; Notes: You hear that? That’s us improbably completing this random dude’s BMT filmography with what must be the most bizarre set of movies I’ve ever seen.)

Kristy Swanson – (Known For: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; Big Daddy; Pretty in Pink; The Phantom; Hot Shots!; The Program; Higher Learning; BMT: Dude, Where’s My Car?; Mannequin: On the Move; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag; The Chase; Flowers in the Attic; Deadly Friend; Notes: Started dating Alan Thicke when he was 40 and she was 17 (wot?). They were engaged but never married.)

Budget/Gross – $11,000,000 / Domestic: $8,988,731

(Wow, 10 times the budget of Nightmare on Elm, but made a fraction of the box office. Probably didn’t help that it was part of a publicly troubled production process and got terrible reviews once actually released.)

#39 for the Cyborg / Android / Robot genre

cyborg_39

(Look at those waves. This guy came right on the heels of Terminator and Short Circuit and a little before Robocop, so definitely a trend. Now Ex Machina and Chappie are coming at a semi-boom in the same category. The waves may be indicative of how bad robot movies often are (see the keyword below) you make a few with great care and dedication … and then you saturate the market with garbage, then start all over again. Blah.)

#54 for the Sci-Fi – Based on Book genre

scifibook_54

(The second example quickly on the heels of The 5th Wave, this is far less interesting. Maybe this was introduced at a time when book adaptations were waning a bit, but hard to tell. Still, the amount of sci-fi movies based on a book now dwarfs those from the eighties. It is pretty stunning.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/7): No consensus yet.

(A rare, but kind of cheap 0% movie since it only has six (often far after the fact) reviews on rotten tomatoes. I’ll make a consensus though: While filled with its fair share of Cravenisms, it is also filled with classic Craven miscues. An interesting premise is squandered as the film instead becomes merely another cliched teenaged revenge fantasy.)

Poster – Deadly Sklog (C-)

deadly_friend

(Personally I like it. I like the style, very classically 70s/80s horror I feel like. I like the idea of it in a way. But … I mean, what does it have to do with anything? What is this movie about? It doesn’t really scream “this is about a killer robot!”. It doesn’t say “this is a teenaged revenge fantasy!”. It is just … surreal. If anything it screams “like Nightmare on Elm Street this is a movie focused on the terror found within dreams”. If I was only given this poster I would say this movie is about a bullied teenage girl who discovers that through incredible psychic power she can control other people’s dreams and terrorizes those who terrorize her in the real world … hey, that sounds like a pretty good movie actually. Kind of a what-if-you-could-be-Freddy-Krueger in real life. Could actually be a fun movie)

Tagline(s) – She can’t live without you. [trailer] (A)

There’s no one alive who’ll play with the girl next door! [poster] (what in the fuck? F.)

(The second one being on the poster is a travesty. How? It is awful. The trailer tagline is a nice, concise play on words. Hints at the connection to Frankenstein. Hits all the right notes.)

Keyword(s) – robot; Top Ten by BMeTric: 90.3 Meet the Spartans (2008); 78.4 The Avengers (1998); 76.9 RoboCop 3 (1993); 76.8 Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003); 75.6 Inspector Gadget (1999); 72.3 Jason X (2001); 71.2 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005); 69.8 Pluto Nash (2002); 66.5 Scooby-Doo (2002); 65.1 Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982);

(That is a simply fantastic list of terrible movies. Robots do seem to enter into a lot of ludicrous and hilarious plotlines. If only Lindsay Lohan’s robot leg and arm from I Know Who Killed Me counted! Also this is an amazing set of sequels too. I just can’t get over it!)

Notes – Director Wes Craven’s and screenwriter Bruce Joel Rubin’s original vision for the film was a PG-rated supernatural science fiction thriller, with the primary focus being on the macabre love story between Paul and Samantha, as well as a secondary focus on the adults around them and how they are truly monsters inside themselves. Craven filmed this version of the film and Warner Bros. decided to screen it to a test audience mostly consisting of Wes Craven’s fans. The response from fans was negative, criticizing the lack of violence and gore seen in Craven’s previous films.

I would say that this is part of the Michael Eliot trilogy. Eliot was an editor brought in by Warner Bros. to reedit this film, along with Out for Justice and Showdown in Little Tokyo.

BB robot cost over $20,000 to build. Craven used a company called Robotics 21. His eyes were constructed from two 1950 camera lenses, a garage remote control unit, and a radio antenna taken from a Corvette. BB could actually lift 750 pounds in weight.