Sigh, we are coming to the end. We are a Sly Stallone based venture. We operate on the Stallonian calendar which promises a Stallone flick every year with 53 Thursdays. Last Thursday of such a year is Stallone Day and celebrates all things Sly. This is all detailed on the website. Anyway, we are nearing the end of unique qualifying films and when we run out a question will arise that can only be answered by the BMT Council of Elders( BMTCoE). Some might be asking why I’m mentioning this before diving into Staying Alive. To those people I will simply say, “Get out! Shoo!” and throw pebbles at you until you leave. Staying Alive is the only film that Sly directed but did have a role in (not counting his uncredited appearance in the film). He’s also written two Statham films that he wasn’t in, but neither of them qualified. Truly unique. So keep in mind that this is a very special episode.
To recap, our hero Tony Manero is trying to make it in the Big Apple. He teaches dance classes to make a buck while going on audition after audition. It seems like he will never get his chance and it’s incredibly frustrating. He’s got a cool girlfriend, Jackie, but he even takes that for granted, sleeping with a star dancer that has blown into town for a new show, Satan’s Alley. At the auditions for Satan’s Alley they all get parts. Tony is very excited but also doesn’t love how small a part he has. Realizing he’s done Jackie dirty, he apologizes and asks for help practicing the lead dance in the show. He seems the main dancer is struggling and wants to take a shot at replacing him. When the time comes he pretty much botches it and the demanding director is like “ha, you suck.” This makes him feel like quitting, but Jackie is like “you can’t” cause she’s the coolest. He’s like OK and gives it another go and dances like a god dang star. The director? He’s like “Wow. OK. You have the part.” At the premier, Tony dances like a star again and the star dancer is angry because he’s using their chemistry against her. But this explodes on stage in the second half in what can only be described as literally the sexiest dancing scene in the history of cinema and in no way is it dumb and silly. By going off script, Tony becomes a hero of dance and the whole cast celebrates his one-of-a-kind achievement. Tony wins. THE END.
Hahaha, the crux of the problem for Staying Alive is that it is incredibly silly. Like no holds barred silly ass shit. Siskel must have been so disappointed! They really turn their back on pretty much everything the first (very good) movie was all about. He heads into the city at the end of that film (a pretty depressing film at that) because he knows his unserious life can’t last forever. Sure he’s hot shit in one club in Brooklyn, but at the end he’s given a trophy he doesn’t deserve because the judges are racist and it’s a moment of devastation. Just glaringly obvious that this stuff he’s been working on is meaningless. He heads off to Manhattan to become… a super silly Broadway dancer? Lol, what? A perfect example of the unnecessary sequel that should have been abandoned immediately once it was clear that the breakout star from the first film was just too famous to make a sequel where his loser character was still a loser. His character had to be dope as shit. That sucks. One final note: Travolta is a good dancer… but he is not a Broadway dancer level dancer. Crazy choices all around. Bravo. As for what the plot should have been? Easy, he should have been living as the arm candy for a stable of rich Manhattan ladies. Taking them out dancing and stuff while doing some modelling and commercial work. Acting is ultimately where Tony ends up if he is to succeed.
Hot Take Clam Bake! This was all a dream. It was a dream he had maybe just before a cab ran him over in Manhattan. Dreaming that, despite struggling with his art, he is able to break through and take over a Broadway show and demonstrate to the world that he is actually The World’s Greatest Dancer. Because otherwise the entire concept of the film makes no sense and is built on a tower of lies. And this was written and directed by Sly Stallone… so that would be blasphemy to suggest. Hot Take Temperature: Satan’s Alley.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! *gif of me dancing. Hard. On Broadway. Everyone is watching like “Holy shit that guy can dance … hard!”* Let’s go!
The Good? Travolta’s body man … he is in incredibly good shape. The dancing is pretty incredible, even though at a high level, would this be on Broadway? Like … would people watch this on Broadway? I think the answer is yes. As a matter of fact I think I could figure out that the answer is yes because I bet I can find ads in the New York Times for shows EXACTLY like the weirdo one they put on in the end where a dancer dances his way through Hell or whatever.
The Bad? The film is soooooooooooo boring. And Travolta as a character is sooooooo shitty. He was shitty in the first too, but at that point he was in a shitty situation, and trying to even figure out what it meant to not be in such a situation. Learning what ambition even means. In this though he kind of seems like a dick, and did I mention the film is incredibly dull?
The BMT? Nope. It is nice that we finally did it because it has a very bad Rotten Tomatoes score, and is one of the last Stallone films we needed. But it is boooooooooring.
So … continuing what I was doing last time, can Google Gemini grounded search get Rotten Tomatoes scores from imdb links more easily than just scraping? Last time it wouldn’t provide answers for more than 10 when given 100 films. So I chunked them into ground of 10 and … nope, still, it mostly cannot find anything below the top 50, and for all but the top ten it gets somewhat random results. So no, this is not something I can use in any way. It is very disappointing. I really thought it would work, and given how I tend to use Google (to get IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes links mostly) this was the first time I thought something could work that would be quite useful to my BMT work. Alas. It just isn’t ready for primetime.
This is a huge Setting as a Character (Where?) for NYC, just Broadway and Brooklyn all over this piece. I think that is it. Sure his dream of being a Broadway star could be considered a MacGuffin I suppose. And his inevitable rise to stardom is a twist of a kind. By naw, just the setting here. This movie is ultra-dull and is the epitome of Bad even if the director and its status as a legendarily bad sequel screams out to be good-bad, it just ain’t.
What can we learn about dancing … hard? Find out in the Quiz. Cheerios,
What was the name of that song which was the first single off of the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack by The BeeGees? Stayin’ Alive? No, I was thinking of How Deep Is Your Love. Let’s go!
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) The BeeGees notably released the Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack which had three number one tracks by the band. As a matter of fact it was the best selling album in history until it was supplanted by what?
2) Honestly, I kind of always thought of Stallone as a director, but he really doesn’t direct that much. His most recent effort was what 2010 action film?
3) Travolta has a number one single. It is of course a duet. What is that song?
4) One song from the album did get some accolades, being nominated for Best Original Song at the Golden Globes. Who wrote and sang the noted song Far From Over?
5) One of the most infamous events in U.S. sports history was Disco Demolition Night in 1979. The event took place at Comiskey Park. Who is the home team that had to forfeit the second leg of the double header that night?
Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: Since the release predates the listings I have they are all over the place. But I did find a date, June 27, 1998, where it played at 7:15PM on TMC up against this bad boy:
“Alright, well this looks like a slam dunk,” says one of the elderly jurors, “which is good because I have tickets to Wrestlemania tonight in the city.” He holds up a pair of tickets and walks to stare out the window. The field trip to Dark Territory was fun, but reality was setting in now that they were back in the jury room. “Let’s vote,” says the foreman and hands out small pieces of paper. Poor kid. But you just can’t go slashing a sheriff with a samurai sword and get away with it. You just can’t! As the ‘guilty’ votes are read, they begin to pack up. Suddenly a ‘not guilty’ vote rings out. Everyone stops and looks at Jamie. He takes a moment before acknowledging that yes, it was him. “I just think there should be a discussion, maybe,” he says sheepishly. “I don’t think so, bub,” says Wrestlemania, fuming. Several other jurors also demand he change his vote. “Ok, ok, how about this,” Jamie says, holding up his hands. “Let me ask you all just one thing.” They begrudgingly agree. “The murder weapon…” Jamie begins and Wrestlemania jumps on it immediately. “Exactly,” he says, “They found him with the murder weapon. A samurai sword! With an eagle on the handle!” The rest of the jury nod. “Oh really,” Jamie says and pulls his own samurai sword from his back scabbard and flips it in the air to land point down in the table. The jurors gasp and look at each other in disbelief. It’s an exact replica. “I guess,” says the foreman, “a little discussion won’t hurt.” “My god. That kid out there is probably laughing at us,” fumes Wrestlemania. But Jamie doesn’t think he’s laughing at all. He’s too busy just staying alive. That’s right! If you thought we would do Stay Alive and not take that opportunity to smash cut directly into the Saturday Night Fever sequel Staying Alive then… I don’t know what to say. It would mean you didn’t know us at all and that’s pretty sad. Let’s go!
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 1.3%; Notability: top 3.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.0%; Higher BMeT: Jaws 3-D, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Superman III; Higher Notability: Superman III, Curse of the Pink Panther, Krull, Deal of the Century, Doctor Detroit, Flashdance, The Sting II, D.C. Cab; Notes: Don’t worry, Smokey and the Bandit Part III is on the docket. Looking at the 90s television data is kind of funny. The three Smokey and the Bandit films played 81, 47, and 20 times. Almost perfectly 50% of the prior one. The first is a classic obviously.
New York Times – Janet Maslin – ONLY the presence of John Travolta turns ”Staying Alive” from an unqualified disaster into a qualified one. Mr. Travolta is able to radiate warmth and sweetness even under the direst of circumstances, which are certainly the ones in which he finds himself here. As directed by Sylvester Stallone, who is also co-writer and coproducer, ”Staying Alive” is a sequel with no understanding of what made its predecessor work. The first film was funny and touching, powered by a phenomenally successful score. This one is clumsy, mean spirited and amazingly unmusical.
(Janet is right about everything here. This is exactly the issue with the film. It is just kind of depressing and joyless and misses everything that made the original work.)
(Give me that music up top, c’mon … yeah there it is. Hoooooooooo doggy Travolta looking sexy in this trailer. What more is there to say, 10/10 trailer on the Travolta Sexiness scale.)
Directors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: The Expendables; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Paradise Alley; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; Staying Alive; Notes: Welp, we finished his directorial efforts. Stallone, get behind the lens, you know you want to.)
Writers – Nik Cohn – ( Known For: Saturday Night Fever; BMT: Staying Alive; Notes: He was the writer of the article that Saturday Night Fever was based on.)
Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Rocky; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Homefront; Creed III; F.I.S.T.; Paradise Alley; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Rambo: Last Blood; Cobra; Over the Top; Driven; Staying Alive; Rhinestone; Notes: And, yup, we also finished up Stallone’s writing credits. Fuck you A Working Man, why did you have to ruin the dream.)
Norman Wexler – ( Known For: Serpico; Saturday Night Fever; Joe; Mandingo; Drum; BMT: Raw Deal; Staying Alive; Notes: Was born in New Bedford, huh. He was nominated for two Oscars, one for the movie Joe, and the other for Serpico. For real though … like Joe? I haven’t heard of this film.)
Actors – John Travolta – ( Known For: Pulp Fiction; Face/Off; Grease; Bolt; Austin Powers in Goldmember; Carrie; The Taking of Pelham 123; The Thin Red Line; Hairspray; Savages; Broken Arrow; Get Shorty; Saturday Night Fever; Look Who’s Talking; Phenomenon; Blow Out; Ladder 49; Killing Season; A Civil Action; Primary Colors; Future BMT: The Punisher; From Paris with Love; Basic; The General’s Daughter; Look Who’s Talking Too; Michael; Look Who’s Talking Now; Domestic Disturbance; Mad City; Lucky Numbers; White Man’s Burden; Shout; BMT: Swordfish; Wild Hogs; Battlefield Earth; Be Cool; Old Dogs; Staying Alive; Perfect; Two of a Kind; Notes: Man, we didn’t do The Punisher? But like … how have we done the other ones? Is that right? That is the craziest bit of flotsam we have. Actually strike that, having done Scary Movie 5 and not registering the first four as BMT films was the craziest bit of flotsam.)
Cynthia Rhodes – ( Known For: Dirty Dancing; Runaway; Curse of the Crystal Eye; BMT: Flashdance; Staying Alive; Notes: She seems to have quit the business when she married Richard Marx. Except of course the ridiculous film Curse of the Crystal Eye (never played on television).)
Finola Hughes – ( Known For: Like Crazy; Above Suspicion; Intrepid; Nutcracker; Future BMT: Aspen Extreme; BMT: Staying Alive; Notes: Aspen Extreme! Hol up … we HAVE to do Aspen Extreme. That movie is one of those perfect “they don’t release em like they used to” BMT gems.)
Budget/Gross – $22 million / Domestic: $64,892,670 (Worldwide: $64,893,329)
(That is obviously solid. I imagine it is the terrible reviews that made them not go for the trilogy. Maybe Stallone should start brushing off scripts, I think Travolta’s still got it.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/30): This sequel to Saturday Night Fever is shockingly embarrassing and unnecessary, trading the original’s dramatic depth for a series of uninspired dance sequences.
(ZERO OUT OF THIRTY?! What the hell. Is this the crown jewel of How the Hell Haven’t We Done This Yet?! cycle.)
NY Times Short Review: Lackluster sequel to “Saturday Night Fever”. (… yeah that sums it up NYT).
(I have never seen a poster that would turn me off of a film more than this one. If I saw this in a theater I would say “nope” and turn right around. But… I am in love with that font. This might be the best poster font we’ve seen in quite a while. I hate this poster but that font rescues it. C.)
Tagline(s) – Tony Manero knows the old days are over. But nobody’s gonna tell him he can’t feel that good again. (D)
(No way. No how. I gave it a D because it’s actually so weird that it’s kind of funny.)
Keyword(s) – top BMeT
Top 10: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Green Lantern (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Ghost Rider (2007), The Happening (2008), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), The Mummy (2017)
Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 87.9 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 78.2 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.1 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)
BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Battlefield Earth (2000), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Catwoman (2004), Jack and Jill (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), The Emoji Movie (2017), Cats (2019), Gigli (2003), Scary Movie V (2013), Alone in the Dark (2005), Jaws: The Revenge (1987), The Last Airbender (2010), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), The Wicker Man (2006), Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), Madame Web (2024), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Jaws 3-D (1983), Troll 2 (1990), The Love Guru (2008), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), The Avengers (1998), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Fantastic Four (2015), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Norbit (2007), …
Best Options (Romance): 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 77.9 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 74.6 God’s Not Dead (2014), 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.3 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 64.9 Sex Tape (2014), 64.4 Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006), 62.9 The Honeymooners (2005), 62.3 Obsessed (2009), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 61.2 Staying Alive (1983), 57.8 The Next Best Thing (2000), 56.0 Why Did I Get Married Too? (2010), 55.9 Radhe Shyam (2022), 55.7 Fame (2009), 55.5 The Back-up Plan (2010), 55.3 Who’s That Girl (1987), 55.0 Honey (2003), 54.3 The Bachelor (1999), 54.2 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 54.1 The Divorce (2003), 53.7 Abandon (2002), 53.7 Meet the Browns (2008), 53.4 Aloha (2015), 52.4 Loser (2000), 52.4 How Do You Know (2010), 52.3 Superstar (1999), 52.2 Addicted (2014), 51.1 Over Her Dead Body (2008), 51.1 Little Fockers (2010)
(Again, would Junior have been a better option? Maybe, but the idea of finishing up Stallone basically was too alluring. We only have one Stallone film left. This was our 25th Stallone film. It is crazy stuff.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: John Travolta is No. 1 billed in Staying Alive and No. 2 billed in Wild Hogs, which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 5 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (5 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 14. If we were to watch Shout we can get the HoE Number down to 10.
Notes – John Travolta has claimed his favorite director to work with was Sylvester Stallone. He said Stallone knew how to make him look the best on screen.
Under Sylvester Stallone’s supervision, John Travolta spent five months doing rigorous training to develop a dancer’s physique for this film, losing 20 pounds in the process.
DIRECTOR_CAMEO(Sylvester Stallone): Bumping into Tony Manero as he walks down the sidewalk in a crowd. They turn to look at each other for a moment.
This was one of 1983’s most successful films at the box office.
This was the last non-“Rocky” film Sylvester Stallone directed until Rambo (2008).
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (John Travolta)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Finola Hughes)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst New Star (Finola Hughes)
What is there to say about Back to Black? Nothing, that’s what.
To recap, Amy Winehouse is not yet a star. She’s just a girl that loves singing. Loves playing guitar. Loves her grandma. And yes, she loves drinking. When her demo ends up at Island Records she begins her road to stardom and releases her debut album. But then? Not as much as should happen. They want her to be more pop. She wants to be Amy Winehouse. In an ensuing break she meets Blake at a bar. They start a torrid, messy, on-again, off-again love affair. After things get particularly messy, Blake leaves and Amy is left heartbroken. This is exacerbated by the grief of finding out her grandma is dying of cancer. She channels all this into her second smash hit album Back to Black. In the wake of this success, she gets back together with Blake and they elope. Ultimately this turns tragic when Blake is arrested for assault and Amy is left to deal with her demons on her own. A series of messy, drunken performances ensue. By the time Blake gets out of prison, Amy is a drug addict and he is in recovery and so he asks for a divorce. She spirals even further and eventually admits that she needs to go to rehab. She battles recovery for several years while Blake moves on. Eventually she loses the battle and passes away. THE END.
Before commenting on the actual quality of this film, I think it should be made clear that I am not a particular fan of Amy Winehouse. I have no special connection to her music. It’s good. I remember hearing it when it came out and there were some bops. I also never saw the documentary. I don’t know much about her life and death. I don’t know much about her husband or her dad. Alright… this film is fine. I don’t see what the big hubbub was about. Perfectly middle of the road movie. Some good music. I thought the acting was better than fine. A tragic story. I think everyone comes off poorly, which is mildly amusing as I believe the controversy surrounding it was that it’s too closely connected to the family and so lets them off the hook… so… this is letting them off the hook? Eeesh. Anyway, It’s not particularly good, but there are good things about it. One particularly bad thing about it is that it forces me to take recapping and talking about the film very seriously when this whole enterprise is meant to be a joke. And I don’t like that. I prefer to have a larf.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Oh man, I got a white hot take. But it would be in bad taste, right? Like this is a heat seeking missile. An absolute sizzler. A complete Uno Pizzeria & Grill. If I dropped this scorcher you would think you were in the Scorch Trials. You would take one look at my take and ask where Dante was because you done found yourself in the Inferno. It’s the full body burn of takes. And everyone knows that if you are going to have a full body burn in your movie you may as well have two (you already got the full body burn guy on set). Well guess what? This is the equivalent of a film with three full body burns. I can’t drop it though. Bad taste and all. But if I did… oh ho… watch out! You’d be burnt. Hot Take Temperature: theoretically intense.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! *Gif of me singing my little heart out and just loving bad boys, you know?* Let’s go!
The Good? The singing is quite good. And as a person who has never seen the documentary Amy this was a good excuse to wiki a bunch of stuff about her and get to know something about someone I really didn’t know much about before.
The Bad? Arguably this film is propaganda. I’m not saying it is either way, but it does feel like the involvement of the family, as usual, throws into question the objective nature of the film. And given the ultimate conclusion of the story that feels a bit gross. The film is pretty long and everything but the singing is either bland or sad. I don’t like that. People who know me always say there are two things Patrick doesn’t like: things that are bland, and things that are sad. (Editor’s Note: that’s true, that’s what I always say)
The BMT? Hell to the no. Why would I ever watch this film again? Why did I watch this film at all? I wonder if in the future we’ll have to replace the Romance category like we replaced the Sci Fi category long ago and very explicitly call it the Romance/Drama category. I do think it is much more likely we could find good Dramas in the end, at least those are more likely to be bad because they are weird instead of dull.
I said I had some thoughts on how to get indexing done in the last Recap … but that isn’t for today. Instead, I just wanted to look and see if using smaller images would do anything drastic. Why smaller? Well, there are two paths according to the documentation, one for images of size <300ish pixels, and one for larger. I, by default, tend to use 280×420 as my poster size when saving stuff. But I did wonder whether that was contributing to the indexing problems. So I decided to test it with 140×210 posters instead:
Nope. Didn’t help. Onwards and upwards.
Obvs this is basically a Where’s Where or Setting as a Character (Where?) for bits and bobs of London. I recognized a ton of places, mainly because Camden Town is quite a good vegan neighborhood in London. I’ll leave it at that though. This film is Bad, in that it is boring, but it is closer to good than BMT in the end regardless because at least the singing is pretty good.
Singing? A tragic story of drug and alcohol abuse? Talk to me people! Let’s go!
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Let’s start with a super applicable question: Online there are a multitude of videos concerning coating objects or even whole rooms with a super-black coating to see how it absorbs over 99% of visible light. What is the name of the coating invented by Jen Jensen in 2014?
2) Back in Black isn’t the name of this movie or the album being alluded to. It is the 1980 album by AC/DC, which was the first to feature which lead singer (formerly of Geordie) who had replaced Bon Scott who had died in early 1980?
3) The director Sam Taylor-Johnson met and subsequently married her husband Aaron Taylor-Johnson on the set of her directorial debut film from 2009 called what? It is based on the childhood of John Lennon.
4) The movie stars Marisa Abela, who does quite a good job in mimicking Amy Winehouse in the end. She is currently notable for starring as Yasmin in what HBO series?
5) Amy Winehouse is famously from Camden Town. What large Royal Park is just to the south of Camden Town?
Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: On October 3, 1990, the film Back to School played on Showtime in primetime up against:
Patrick sadly returns the copy of Tarot to the shelves of the ‘brary. He waves to Denise and Denise, the two librarians, who flash him a thumbs up. Since he’s been around so much they’ve started letting him return things to the shelves himself. “Caw,” Nathaniel caws. “Meow,” Mr. Whiskers meows. “I know,” Patrick says like a human. He wasn’t sad because Tarot was bad, it was exactly what he needed after bathing in Jamie’s eternal Night Swim. He was sad because everything he had tried hadn’t worked. What man could resist a cat, a crow and some chills? It didn’t make sense. “Hey Patrick,” one of the Denises says handing him a few more DVDs to stock. “I couldn’t help but overhear what you’ve been going through.” Patrick nods in appreciation. “It’s just,” she continues, “your crow and cat are delightful.” ‘Obviously’, Patrick silently scoffs in his head. “And Tarot is something the whole family can enjoy to unwind after a long week of not watching Tarot,” she says carefully. Patrick is confused as to why Denise insists on wasting his valuable restocking time telling him a bunch of obvious things. “But did you think maybe Jamie doesn’t want delightful things?” Denise finishes, hoping that Patrick was listening. Oh Patrick was listening all right. He was listening and thinking. Everyone knows what Jamie likes to listen to when he’s feeling up (Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer, duh), but what was his wallow music? And where would he find it? Suddenly he hears the distinctive “Caw!” of Nathaniel. “No fudging way,” he says, looking at the crow pecking at the CD by the very sad Norwegian death metal band Black to Black sitting right there on the glorious shelf of the glorious ‘brary. That’s right! You probably guessed it, but we are watching the Amy Winehouse biopic Back to Black. You might be asking, ‘Why?’ We would also be asking that. Let’s go!
Back to Black (2024) – BMeTric: 21.0; Notability: 45
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 18.8%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.6%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, Uglies, The Crow, Night Swim, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Tarot, Trigger Warning, The Exorcism, Imaginary, Joker: Folie à Deux, Mother of the Bride, Hellboy: The Crooked Man, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Mea Culpa, The Deliverance, Breathe, Time Cut, and 27 more; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Reagan, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Kraven the Hunter, Breathe, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Dear Santa, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, and 22 more; Notes:
Variety –Amy, contrary to her mythology, does end up in rehab. Near the end of her life, she gets clean, as Janis Joplin did. But that isn’t enough to keep her from becoming a member of the cautionary club of pop stars who died at 27 (Janis, Jimi, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain). Her self-destruction is on full display in “Back to Black.” Yet the film presents it, even revels in it, without giving you the sense that it fully understands it.
(At one point I recall there being some issue with the involvement of either the ex-husband of Winehouse (unlikely) or her father, which made the film potentially a response to the Amy documentary which I think was very critical of her father. Given that I fully expected the critical response to be poor.)
(There was a better trailer (one where it seemed a little like there was a more traditional path to stardom … so I suppose deceptive maybe), but this one is still good. The music and singing seem killer.)
Directors – Sam Taylor-Johnson – ( Known For: Nowhere Boy; A Million Little Pieces; Destricted; BMT: Fifty Shades of Grey; Back to Black; Notes: She’s kind of a weird director in that she seems to fully be in the “paycheck” movie phase. She has nothing on the docket at the moment.)
Writers – Matt Greenhalgh – ( Known For: Control; Nowhere Boy; Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool; The Look of Love; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: Well, that at least explains why Taylor-Johnson is involved, he wrote Nowhere Boy.)
Actors – Marisa Abela – ( Known For: Barbie; Rogue Agent; She Is Love; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: Well known for Industry, the only real laudets for the movie were in her singing which is, indeed, pretty impressive. She is in Black Bag which is interesting.)
Eddie Marsan – ( Known For: V for Vendetta; Deadpool 2; Sherlock Holmes; Hancock; Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows; Gangs of New York; The Gentlemen; Mission: Impossible III; The Illusionist; Snow White and the Huntsman; The World’s End; 21 Grams; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; Match Point; Wrath of Man; Atomic Blonde; War Horse; Vice; Jack the Giant Slayer; Miami Vice; Future BMT: The Man Who Knew Too Little; 7 Days in Entebbe; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: I recognize him from Happy-Go-Lucky. He’s in a ton of TV at the moment, and is pencilled in for the probably-never-going-to-happen Sherlock Holmes 3 still.)
Jack O’Connell – ( Known For: 300: Rise of an Empire; Unbroken; This Is England; Money Monster; Eden Lake; Harry Brown; ’71; Ferrari; Starred Up; Lady Chatterley’s Lover; The Man with the Iron Heart; United; Trial by Fire; Seberg; The Liability; Little Fish; Jungleland; Tower Block; Weekender; Private Peaceful; Future BMT: Tulip Fever; BMT: Back to Black; Notes: He’s in both 28 Years Later and Sinners this year which … either of those could be good. The trailer for 28 Years Later at least looks incredible.)
Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $6,157,705 (Worldwide: $50,979,416)
(Not great. Kind of weird the budget is so high, maybe because of the concert stuff and paying the Winehouse Estate? Just seems crazy considering there is really no stars.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (63/181): Back to Black’s sympathetic approach to its subject’s story is an overdue antidote to the tabloid treatment she often received in life, even if the end results are disappointingly pedestrian.
(Again, the issue is being sympathetic to Amy Winehouse is one thing, but the documentary, fairly or unfairly, makes the treatment of the father in the film seem a little off somehow.)
Reviewer Highlight: Much like the rabid tabloid coverage Winehouse faced, Back to Black is a lazy attempt to capitalize on both the success and struggles of a great artist. – Emma Oxnevad, Chicago Reader
(I mean, I guess if I was super into Amy Winehouse this poster would make me excited for it. Despite being serviceable, I’m going to give it right in the middle because the font is the worst I’ve ever seen. C.)
Tagline(s) – Her music. Her life. Her legacy. (C+)
(I like the classic structure of this. It is extremely generic, though. Like why couldn’t this be the tagline to Selena?)
Keyword(s) – 2024-2024
Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Road House (2024), The Substance (2024), The Beekeeper (2024)
Future BMT: 62.3 The Exorcism (2024), 61.6 Imaginary (2024), 61.6 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 36.0 Singham Again (2024), 27.4 Slingshot (2024), 27.2 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 25.9 Fighter (2024), 24.8 Devara Part 1 (2024), 19.0 Reagan (2024), 16.7 Here (2024), 11.6 Red One (2024)
BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), Night Swim (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024)
Best Options (Romance): 21.0 Back to Black (2024)
(Arguably this is our Romance film, but clearly that is in lieu of any other option. Is Romance dead? As a genre I mean, not in general.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 58) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bronson Webb is No. 26 billed in Back to Black and No. 19 billed in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, which also stars Penélope Cruz (No. 2 billed) who is in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (No. 2 billed) which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (26 + 19) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 58. If we were to watch Entebbe, Surrogates, The Jackal, Nights in Rodanthe, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 21.
Notes – Marisa Abela had done most of the singing in this film herself. She trained extensively to mimic Amy Winehouse’s vocals.
Scenes were filmed at Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club at 47 Frith Street, Soho, London W1D 4HT, England and outside Winehouse’s first flat in Camden Town, and at Primrose Hill, London. In February, scenes were filmed inside the Metropolis Studios in Chiswick, London.
Jeff Tunke claimed he was cast as Mark Ronson and his scenes were deleted. However, director Sam Taylor-Johnson said Ronson was never a character in the film.
Following the death of Winehouse on July 23, 2011, several filmmakers attempted to create biopic projects but none of them progressed. By 2022, StudioCanal UK moved forward with production, and filming took place in London from January to April 2023.
The whole backstory of Dream a Little Dream is tragic. Corey Feldman was trying to be a more serious actor. He wanted a role that would stretch his horizons a bit. But he also was deep in a Michael Jackson phase and wanted to push that as well. What does that mean? Given the fact that Michael Jackson was a singing, dancing and fashion icon, Feldman decided to go for the trifecta. He’s working on a single for the film, and within the film he gets to dress like MJ and dance his little heart out. So sure, he wants to do this very serious philosophical body swap movie with Academy Award winner Jason Robards, but he also wants the dance scene. The studio? Thrilled. Interestingly, if you read Feldman’s autobiography he seems to indicate that the inclusion of Corey Haim was more his agent/studio idea. Once Feldman was in didn’t they want to cash in on the Two Corey’s mania? Did it matter that Haim broke his leg just before filming? Nah, write it in. So what started as an attempt for Feldman to be taken more seriously became a Two Corey’s vehicle with MJ inspired dance sequences. As I said, tragic.
To recap, Coleman and Gena are an elderly married couple. Coleman has become obsessed with dreams and the idea that through dreams he will be able to spend eternity with his beloved. He is pursuing this through the power of meditation when suddenly Bobby, a local bad boy/slacker, collides with the girl he has a crush on, Lainie, who unfortunately dates one of his friends. This collision at the moment of meditative perfection results in a body swap, whereby Bobby and Lainie are stuck in the dream world while Gena and Coleman are now teenagers, gulp! Confusedly, they also are kinda mixed with their original selves so they are more like old people-teenager hybrids and only sort of know each other. Coleman wants to just wait it out, but then realizes he has to play into the role of Bobby or else risk his wife getting stuck forever in the dream world dooming them to be separated forever. Coleman ends up helping Bobby get better grades and improve his relationship with his parents. All this in pursuit of Lainie, who it eventually becomes clear must fall for Bobby in order to recreate the magic and swap all the bodies back. This culminates in a climactic scene where Bobby talks his friend out of murdering him (for real) and a different (and much more important) scene where Bobby dances like Michael Jackson and looks totally cool for sure. Having completed the mission Coleman realizes then that there is no replacement for the real thang and indeed they are able to switch back.. THE END.
I feel a little bad for Feldman. You can tell he was having some troubles here and he looks crazy. The idea that someone would want to take his career from acting to the general genre of “Michael Jackson impersonator” is insane. That’s not a genre of music/dancing/fashion. That’s just what MJ does. And yet MJ was so huge that this was a viable career move and he was hardly the biggest star to have tried it. All that being said, Feldman actually does have natural charisma. There’s a reason I remember liking his character the best in a number of notable films. This is all a wind up to say that this film is super duper weird. One of the weirdest major motion pictures I can think of. It’s like a deeply philosophical take on a body swap movie. Makes me think the writer-director said yes to all kinds of things involving Feldman simply because he wanted desperately to make this weird ass movie that otherwise probably wouldn’t have been made. Usually when something this weird is made you have to assume it’s based on a book (like Winter’s Tale or something). But this is a Mark Rocco original, babbby. As for Ghosts Can’t Do It, the only reason to watch this unpleasant catastrophe is to see the perfect example of an auteur film. A film that truly seems like you are looking into the deranged mind of its creator, like a Neil Breen film. The basic plot is about Bo Derek being married to an elderly rich guy who has awesome sex with her, but then dies and his ghost demands she find a hot young stud to kill so he can possess him and they can continue boning. And then they do just that. You OK, John Derek? Perfect pairing with Dream a Little Dream.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Are we sure (steady yourselves) Feldman couldn’t have been Michael J. Fox? Like if he hadn’t gone down the dark road he was on would we have seen him carry some big films and then transition to a career where he’s the star of Just Shoot Me! or something? You see him running around and acting and (god help me) dancing and there are actual moments where I had to take a step back and be like “this kid was a mess and still got up there and looks halfway like a star.” It makes me want to read more of his autobiography just to see how aware he was of what was happening as it crumbled and fell apart. I can tell you the Dream a Little Dream parts of the book are very engaging. Hot Take Temperature: A Michael Jackson dance move.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! *Gif of me dressed as Michael Jackson lip synching a song and dancing around like an idiot* Let’s go!
The good? Uh … this movie is bonkers. Like, this movie is like you cracked the head of the writer open and just started watching. It is wild shit, and in a way I’m here for it, and the fact that it operates like a standard body swap almost makes it better. Some of the cast is also quite good, like they know what’s up and what they need to do … some of the cast.
The bad? Both Coreys. I don’t want to pile on them. I don’t want to come down hard on them. But Haim is just all over the place, limping around, and really very terrible in this. Feldman just looks like a lunatic. He’s a bit better from the acting perspective.
The BMT? In a way yes … it is really really weird. It is a really weird film. It is so weird. Is it so weird it could view for Hall of Fame … I think so. I it so weird. But it is also boring. It is such a tough decision. The movie is just so weird!
You best believe Ghosts Can’t Do It. I have no words. This is a truly bizarre film. John and Bo Derek were one of one terrible filmmakers. We’ve seen several of them so far, and they kind of just get worse and worse as you watch them. One time a critic I think said that John Derek was the worst filmmaker in history. Part of me wants to say that that is right. This film is very weird, Bo Derek comes across as very weird, and the mind of whomever wrote this movie seems very weird. D, part of me wants to be like A+, this is what BMT is all about, but the film is weird and off putting, so I’m slamming it. Slammed!
Obviously a big part of my AI journey here is trying to find uses for it in BMT. So far … mixed bag. There are odd bits where I’m like that’s interesting, but nothing so far is shaking the BMT foundations. One idea Jamie had was to look through Letterboxd reviews, and what better opportunity to look through structured returns. So I pulled 100 reviews off of Letterboxd, and then ran it through Gemini with the instruction to say whether the review indicated the person had “fun” watching the movie or not. It would return as a json blob which seems .. vaguely correct I suppose.
Anyways, to try it on this guy. Out of the 100 reviews the BMT Super Fun Factor (aka BMTSSF) was 41%. That is actually pretty good. If we want some references BMT classic Cobra was a 73%, BMT classic stinker Waiting for Forever is 14%. It is perfect? No, one in like five fails for no reason by giving back bad json. Spot checking shows it isn’t super clearly interpreting things well, possibly just random outside of very bad or very good reviews. But it is a pretty funny idea. Similar to pulling keywords out of posters, this is one thing where it is like … just fun enough that I might actually try scraping a full year to see if anything interesting falls out the other side.
Oh, and let’s see if we should get excited. What is From the Hip’s BMTSSF? 45%. So a little better than Dream a Little Dream. Surf Nazis Must Die is a 48%, which maybe points to it somewhat deserving its cult classic reputation.
Oh, definitely a Planchet (Who?) for Haim which is a bizarre character with an even more bizarre production story. Some solid Product Placement (What?) for the oreos you snack on as you talk to your kids about the accident he just got in. I mean, maybe the ultimate MacGuffin (Why?) y’all need to get back in your body, it’s a body swap film. And I’m going to do it, this is a BMT film, it is wild and crazy and weird.
Dreams? Little Dreams? Talk to me, people. Let’s go!
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) It’s the End of the World as We Know it by R.E.M. is on the soundtrack for the film. It peaked at 69 on the Billboard Top 100. That is not nearly the highest R.E.M. reached, which was #4 for what song?
2) For the Siskel and Ebert episode for The Worst Films of 1989, Dream a Little Dream was a pick. Another film was a little film about a wrestler named Zeus starring Hulk Hogan. What was that film?
3) The Two Coreys were famous enough as a duo to have their own wikipedia page. They paired up nine times on film. The first time was in The Lost Boys, and the third time was in this film Dream a Little Dream. What was the second film they appeared in together?
4) This is an impossible one, but in the direct-to-video sequel Dream a Little Dream 2, Bobby Keller and Dinger find magic what? Yeah, you read that right, literally magic.
5) Jason Robards is in the film. He won a Tony (The Disenchanted), two Academy Awards (All the President’s Men, and Julia), and an Emmy (Inherit the Wind). But he notably played James Tyrone Jr. in what Eugene O’Neill adaptation?
Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: On March 19, 1990, Dream a Little Dream played at 8PM on HBO. Right after though this came on:
Plain Jane is back, Jack! Third time’s a charm, but is it third time’s a… love?! Who would have thought that Plain Jane Never-Been-Kissed would have two dreamboat guys fighting over her? Not this girl, that’s who. Alejandro has shown up in the Big Apple professing his love for Holly and Brad has returned from Aspen even more in love with Jane than ever. Eeeeeek! If only she could be both Jane and Holly at the same time! Brain Blitz! What if she can? Her grandmother always said be careful what she wished for, particularly when using a monkey’s paw. Down goes a finger and… oops! Turns out when she wished that Jane and Holly would exist at the same time it meant that she would remain Plain Jane, but *gulp* Brad would become possessed by Holly Ween. It’s a sass attack as Holly Brad takes NYC by storm. Now she has to reveal her true identity to Alejandro in order to recruit him to help. He’s hurt. Doesn’t he know that he loved her for what was on the inside? But also, as he takes her glasses off, he mentions that her beauty on the outside doesn’t hurt either. Who? Little ol’ her? Jane and Alejandro are quite the power couple as they power their way into the hottest club in NYC and win a dance off against Holly Brad. Turns out out-dancing Holly Ween’s spirit is the only way to defeat her and the monkey’s paw closes again. Alejandro goes in for the kiss but Plain Jane turns him away. She can’t… because she’s dying. Brad and Alejandro gasp. Turns out they’re dying too.
“You get it?” Samantha says. “Let me see if I do,” Jamie says and begins to recount a dream he had. We’re recounting a little dream we had this week. The dream of watching Dream a Little Dream starring the Corey’s. Boy that sounds like a rough time. Hope we have a nice palate cleanser for our Friend this week. Ghosts Can’t Do It starring Bo Derek! Welp… it’s a hard job, but someone has to do it. Let’s go!
Dream a Little Dream (1989) – BMeTric: 29.8; Notability: 25
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 10.4%; Notability: top 20.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.5%; Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, Wild Orchid, Cyborg, The Fly II, The Karate Kid Part III, No Holds Barred, Cutting Class, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland, DeepStar Six, The Toxic Avenger Part II, Shocker, Pink Cadillac, The Punisher, Speed Zone, House III: The Horror Show, The January Man, and 6 more; Higher Notability: Tango & Cash, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Troop Beverly Hills, Lock Up, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child, The Karate Kid Part III, Harlem Nights, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Fletch Lives, Leviathan, Three Fugitives, Listen to Me, Pink Cadillac, Family Business, Millennium, Dead Bang, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, The Punisher, Let It Ride, Renegades, and 32 more; Lower RT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, The Toxic Avenger Part II, House III: The Horror Show, Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects, Speed Zone, Homer and Eddie, Worth Winning, Elves, Second Sight, Night Game, Wired; Notes: Played 42 times, and we’ve actually seen 8 of the top 10 BMeT films for 1989 which is pretty great. We really need to get on The Karate Kid III. I keep forgetting there was a sequel to this film (also starring Feldman) and that played an insane 45 times on television. Ghosts Can’t Do It played 23 times, including, amazingly, premiering on Cinemax on July 23rd 1991 in the primetime slot, wowza.
RogerEbert.com – 0.5 stars – So there I was, watching this TV commercial for “Dream a Little Dream,” when suddenly a light bulb went on over my head, and I said, “Hold on a minute,” because the commercial shows Corey Feldman as a kid named Bobby who has all these problems in school, you know, and like he’s in love with this girl but she’s dating the toughest kid in the class and so, like wow, what is Bobby gonna do? After I saw this commercial, what I wanted to know was: What happened to Jason Robards? What the commercial doesn’t tell you is that this kid named Bobby is not really a 16-year-old at all. He has a teenager’s body, sure, but inside his head, he is occupied by Jason Robards. … “Dream a Little Dream” is an aggressively unwatchable movie.
(Roger Ebert really channelling the Bad Movie Twins style of writing for a second there. It does make me think we have a voice here … it isn’t an intelligent or good voice, but it is something that someone somewhere would go like “huh” to, you know?)
(My god the music. Watching all these trailers makes me realize just how insane the music in trailers often are. My god, this is a body swap film?! What the hell?)
Directors – Marc Rocco – ( Known For: Murder in the First; Where the Day Takes You; Scenes from the Goldmine; BMT: Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Somehow Murder in the First was his last directorial effort. I remember that film being at least not-bad. He produced a bunch after, including The Jacket.)
Writers – Daniel Jay Franklin – ( BMT: Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Literally this is it. He wrote a single episode of Knots Landing, and then got a character credit for the sequel.)
Marc Rocco – ( Known For: The Jacket; Where the Day Takes You; Scenes from the Goldmine; BMT: Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Adopted son of the guy who played Salvator in The Wedding Planner … oh also the guy was in The Godfather, but The Wedding Planner seemed more appropriate to mention.)
Danny Eisenberg – ( BMT: Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Seems to be a collaborator with Rocco since he also wrote (and composed for?) Scenes from the Goldmine.)
Actors – Corey Feldman – ( Known For: Stand by Me; The Goonies; Gremlins; The Lost Boys; Maverick; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; The Fox and the Hound; The ‘Burbs; Time After Time; Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV; Corbin Nash; Pauly Shore Is Dead; My Date with Drew; Kid 90; Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope; Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy; Meatballs 4; An Open Secret; 13 Fanboy; Rock ‘n’ Roll High School Forever; Future BMT: Loaded Weapon 1; License to Drive; Bordello of Blood; Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; BMT: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter; Friday the 13th: A New Beginning; Friday the 13th: The New Blood; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Dream a Little Dream; Notes: For real, for this film he readily admits he was in his “Michael Jackson” phase. He had vaguely learned to dance like Michael, and he dressed like him, but he basically couldn’t sing, but at the time that didn’t seem to be of concern to Feldman who straight mimics Jackson throughout this film. He looks ridiculous.)
Jason Robards – ( Known For: Once Upon a Time in the West; Magnolia; Enemy of the State; Philadelphia; All the President’s Men; Crimson Tide; Parenthood; Tora! Tora! Tora!; Quick Change; Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid; A Boy and His Dog; Johnny Got His Gun; The Paper; My Best Fiend; Something Wicked This Way Comes; The Ballad of Cable Hogue; Julia; Beloved; The Adventures of Huck Finn; Bright Lights, Big City; Future BMT: Little Big League; BMT: Dream a Little Dream; A Thousand Acres; Notes: You know, I’m reading King Lear now, and I think I might have to reassess A Thousand Acres at some point. I remember finding it nuts at the time, but it is a weird take on King Lear which maybe I could understand better. He won two Oscars, for All the President’s Men and Julia, and was nominated for Melvin and Howard.)
Corey Haim – ( Known For: The Lost Boys; Silver Bullet; Lucas; Murphy’s Romance; Watchers; Prayer of the Rollerboys; An Open Secret; Dream Machine; Oh, What a Night; My Truth: The Rape of Two Coreys; New Terminal Hotel; Shark City; Never Too Late; Future BMT: License to Drive; Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; Secret Admirer; Firstborn; BMT: Batman & Robin; Crank: High Voltage; Dream a Little Dream; Notes: Apparently he was added very late in the game as a request by Feldman (who seemed to take over production to some degree), and then Haim broke his leg, and they just wrote into the script that he walks with a cane. It is nuts.)
(It is honestly astonishing this made any money. It is crazy that it was released to theaters. The film is so so so so weird. One of the weirdest BMTs in history and that’s saying something.)
(The consensus here is actually very straightforward: this movie is completely incoherent. Audiences will be left in a daze after wondering what the hell they just saw.)
New York Times Description: Routine high school slick cloaked in foggy folderol about dreams and incarnation.
(This is actually hurting my eyes a little. At least the font has a bit of vim and vigor. C-.)
Tagline(s) – With dreams like these who needs reality? (D+)
(I don’t… I’m not sure I understand. With dreams like these… who needs reality? You sure about that one? A classic, this sounds like a tagline but I assure you it isn’t a tagline.)
Keyword(s) – 1983-1991
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.1 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.5 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.3 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.7 Hercules (1983), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)
BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), …
Best Options (Romance): 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 47.2 Big Top Pee-wee (1988), 44.8 American Ninja (1985), 44.8 King Ralph (1991), 38.6 Stroker Ace (1983), 38.2 The Butcher’s Wife (1991), 35.3 Spring Break (1983), 33.6 Career Opportunities (1991), 32.0 The Forbidden Dance (1990), 31.5 Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986), 30.5 The Woman in Red (1984), 30.0 High Spirits (1988), 29.8 Dream a Little Dream (1989), …
(We mostly did this for the year if I recall. But is is one of those wild films that is completely off the wall inexplicable, so it isn’t like we were struggling with the decision. It is the best 1989 Romance film we could find regardless.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jason Robards is No. 1 billed in Dream a Little Dream and No. 3 billed in A Thousand Acres, which also stars Michelle Pfeiffer (No. 1 billed) who is in New Year’s Eve (No. 3 billed) which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 2 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 3) + (1 + 3) + (2 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 18. If we were to watch License to Drive we can get the HoE Number down to 14.
Notes – Four days before filming, Corey Haim broke his leg and Dinger’s character had to be rewritten to include the injury. While his actual cast was removed during filming, he had to wear a fake one for the remainder of the production. In the movie Dinger says that his mother hit him with her car. In real life, Haim broke his leg while trying to teach his mom how to ride a motorbike. She couldn’t use the brakes well yet, and ran into the side of a building, breaking her nose and Corey’s leg.
On the wall of Bobby’s room a poster for the movie “The Lost Boys (1987)” can be seen. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim both starred in “The Lost Boys”.
At the time of filming the two Coreys were both addicted to drugs such as cocaine, as well as Feldman using heroin at the time and having an obsession with Michael Jackson. He included Jackson style type moves in the dance sequence involving Lainie in the gym.
This film re-teams frequent co-stars Corey Feldman and Corey Haim though originally only Feldman was cast in the film. When Lala Sloatman was cast as Shelley, she agreed to be in the film on the condition that her then-boyfriend Haim was also cast.
During a dream meeting between Bobby and Coleman, Bobby gives Coleman instructions to view Bobby’s home movies to learn how to act like a more believable Bobby. When the film cuts to Coleman selecting a VHS tape of one of Bobby’s birthdays, the audience can see a videotape on the shelf with Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) marked on the label. Jason Robards, playing Coleman, also played General Walter C. Short in the 1970 WWII film.
Given the state of erotic thrillers I presume at some point we will burn through them all (at least the major releases) and be considered some kind of experts. Putting on my glasses (as I do before watching any erotic thriller… for science) I think the key to a successful erotic thriller is this: an attractive man who also can come across a little smarmy to stand opposite your extremely hot lady. Redford is interesting in that role because I don’t know if he’d think he was coming off smarmy, but obviously in this film as he throws around money and buys up real estate trying to have sex with Demi Moore it comes off as strange and off putting. He’s no Michael Douglas, but he’s closer than he thinks. I only note this because along these lines Wild Orchid fails… note that I said the man has to be a “little” smarmy… just a little. Hear that Mr. Rourke?
To recap, Diana and David are IN LOVE. He’s an architect and she’s a real estate agent, but a downturn in the housing market (exciting) leaves them teetering on the edge of losing their unfinished dream house. They head to Vegas where they risk it all and win!… and then like a couple of dummies also lose it all. A charming(ish?) super rich dude, John Gage, takes a liking to Diana and after a whirlwind night of being his good luck charm at craps and getting their stay paid for he offers them a proposal. And let me tell you, this proposal is not decent. He wants to sleep with Diana (gasp). David is like “No!” Diana is like “Wellll.” Ultimately they draw up a contract and off she goes. Returning home a million dollars richer they find that Gage did a totally normal thing and bought their dream house from under them. Ultimately this leads to their life falling apart. Gage returns to the scene and pursues a real relationship with Diana. She’s like “No!” but eventually is like “Wellllll…” Now David falls apart alone. After hitting rock bottom he finds his bootstraps there keeping him company. He decides to pull himself up by them and becomes a teacher. Eventually he finds Gage and Diana at a zoo benefit and donates the whole one million dollars to the charity (are you insane?! Build the house!) and agrees to a divorce. Diana is like “Yes!” but eventually is like “Welllll…” and knowing that he’s lost her, Gage makes up a story about being real smarmy (you know, cause he’s not actually smarmy) and Diana gratefully accepts, rushes to be with David, and they smooch hard by the ocean. THE END.
I liked this. Despite all the parts of it that sounds gross and terrible and creepy, it really is a straight romance about David and Diana being in love, hitting a rough patch, and then having a crazy journey back to realizing that they are meant to be together. It feels like critics really turned on this film because the expectation of Indecent Proposal is a thriller or something really crazy like Wild Orchid where it comes off like a cartoon. This doesn’t come off like a cartoon. It comes off like Sabrina, but with someone offering money for sex. So there is this big hullabaloo over the proposal itself, but the content of the film doesn’t deliver on that controversy and it made people angry. Even the controversy itself hasn’t aged well. The film actually has an interesting and arguably progressive view on women’s rights. Like both Gage and David treat Diana like their property. David legally, Gage financially. Diana is like “Nah, I get to choose,” and you can think it’s morally wrong that she would accept money for sex with this rich dude, but in the end she does get to decide. And most importantly she isn’t ruined by that choice.
Hot Take Clam Bake! The moment after the credits roll Diana pulls away from the smooch and is like “you didn’t really give away the money for the hippo, right?” and David is like “Wellll…” So David is in deep shit with her. Divorce is on the table again. What is an architect to do? Aha! He goes to the zoo and is like “I love this hippo I gave a million dollars to, I would like to build it a house.” they are like whatever, it’s your hippo. He builds a house and no one can see the hippo and there is a sign outside that says: “This hippo was bought with a million dollar my wife earned by having sex with John Gage.” Now people want to see that goddamn million dollar hippo. “$10” David says. A year later he’s got that million back and more. Diana is not super thrilled, but at least she got the money she earned. Hot Take Temperature: Wild Orchid.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! *gif of me trying to convince my wife that erotic thrillers are totally cool and not at all creepy and gross* Let’s go!
Right off the bat: this is a good movie.
And I mean that even outside of Demi Moore at exactly this point in time might be one of the most attractive women ever. Like, the movie is very silly, but also interesting and genuinely good for the most part.
I don’t think it is like … an Oscar film. Harrelson is a weenie throughout the film. Redford is a creep throughout the film. Moore is for the most part a normal human being throughout the film and seems like she just loves Harrelson and will do anything for him and he just goes fucking bananas in a nonsensical way.
Anyways, the good? Redford is good at being a creep. It offers a weird but interesting proposition (that honestly only really works in the 90s) that you would think about. The thing about it in the end is that I think a lot more people in the 2020s would be like: don’t care. If my wife could move past it and it was for like $25 million or something I would do it in a heartbeat. Not me specifically, I just mean that there are a lot more people who would just slam dunk that proposal. They’d probably basically go back for seconds and be like “hey can we have more money?” So the proposal isn’t really indecent by today’s standards. It is more like an Intriguing Proposal.
Also Oliver Platt is incredible in the film. Very funny in a perfectly response-to-the-80s-greed kind of way.
The bad? Harrelson is a total dweeb and goes clinically insane during the film. The most insecure weirdo. This is a trend in 90s films though. Remember Message in a Bottle? Literally, women looking at Kevin Costner barely talking and them being like “oh shit he’s so broken. Is this the sexiest a man can be?” Harrelson is a prototype of that. Like “Oh shit, this guy is the most jealous weird possessive garbage man of all time … yes please, I love you so much, husband material right there”. That is the main issue.
As far as BMT is concerned, the issue is the film is good! There is no way it gets into BMT because the film is too good. It is entertaining. Demi Moore is devastatingly attractive. Redford is a solid creep. Too good.
I’m going with a kind of Product Placement (What?) for the Thierry Mugler dress that gets all the guys going in the film. Great Setting as a Character (Where?) for Las Vegas where all you nightmares can come true. I actually like this for a Specific Temporal Setting (When?) just for just how late-80s/early-90s recession vibes it gives. Let’s go with a MacGuffin (Why?) for the pursuit of those underwater mortgage payments. And a Worst Twist (How?) for the throwing away the money and meeting on a pier for love ending. This movie is Good though, it is not BMT.
Learn about … lust I guess? In the quiz. Cheerios,
Bad Movie Twins 