Tag: bmt 2021

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard Recap

Jamie

Michael Bryce is back, Jack! And boy is he still a bodyguard (kinda). Reeling from the events of the first film, Michael is on a spiritual journey. Too bad, cause in crash the Kincaids who get him entangled with all kinds of bad stuff, including a dastardly plot by Aristotle Papadopoulos. Can they stop him before it’s too late? Find out in… The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard.

How?! Michael Bryce just can’t get his mojo back. Despite saving the day in the first film, he has struggled to retain his AAA bodyguard license. A vacay is in order to get his head on straight. But suddenly he is whisked away from his Italian paradise by Sonia Kincaid and roped into helping him free his old frenemy Darius. Things immediately go sideways, though, when it’s revealed that they’ve stepped into the middle of a sensitive Interpol investigation of a plot by a Greek mastermind to take down the European power grid and sow chaos as revenge for Greek sanctions (I know, I know, no one cares, neither did we). Anyway, in exchange for them not all going to jail they agree to help entrap the Greek tycoon. Darius and Sonia are fighting the whole time and Michael is whining/unconscious like 50% of the time and basically they are in a load of trouble so Michael turns to the only person he knows that could help: his father. His father is a total bodyguard legend and their relationship is strained since he doesn’t really think Michael is very good. Despite this his father agrees to help and sends them on their way. But oh oh! It’s a trap! They are captured by the terrorist who is revealed to be an old flame of Sonia’s, Aristotle Papadopoulos. Sonia turns against them in favor of Aristotle (oh no!) and so we are back with out buddies Michael Bryce and Darius Kincaid at last. The dream team is back! They don’t give up and infiltrate Aristotle’s yacht where he is drilling into the power grid. They stop the drill, Michael takes down his father in a bodyguard battle, and Kincaid kills Aristotle. All in a days work for our favorite comedy-action duo. THE END (or is it? (probably… right?))

Why?! Money… oh, you mean within the film. This is actually the biggest problem with both the first film and the sequel. They feel the need to go in depth with some pretty dumb and not funny in the slightest set-ups. I think maybe the joke is just how seriously they take going through the minute details of how Aristotle wants to get back at the EU for sanctions by taking down the power grid and creating a hotbed for riotous violence. Or maybe it’s not a joke and they really did feel like they needed to explain all that. Regardless I didn’t care. Bryce wants to get his AAA rating back and Kincaid just wants to have fun… oh and Sonia wants a baby. Great.

Who?! The director Patrick Hughes shows up in a cameo, which is always fun. What’s also fun is that after making (the real bad) Expendables 3 as his directorial debut he proceeded to strike gold with the hitman theme with these two films… so much so that his next film is called The Man From Toronto and no joke appears the be basically the same film. A jokester teams up with an assassin. Wow.

What?! Always fun when a product placement gets some play in the film reviews. Here there seems to be some grumbling about Ryan Reynolds’ gin brand Aviation Gin being shown a surprising number of times in the film. I didn’t notice nor did I know he had a gin brand, but now that I know it’s my new gin of choice (I don’t really drink gin).

Where?! There are a few different settings but the primary one is Italy. Really solid Italy film as they do appear to jet set across the country without ever totally leaving it. They of course have to keep telling you where you are in Italy since they mostly didn’t film there. Lots of Croatia standing in for Italy which tells me one thing: Croatia is beautiful. B+

When?! Always very difficult when we watch something live. Can’t pause it as I stare closely at a screen trying to discern whether a hospital admission form says 8/2006 or 3/2006 or whatever. So I can’t really remember if there was anything specific about the time of year and I don’t remember a holiday being mentioned. Gotta give it an F for now.

I actually really enjoyed the first film quite a bit. The buddy cop (ish) set up was fun, Ryan Reynolds had some interesting quirks to his characters, and Sammy L. was refreshingly lively. My big gripe was that the entire set-up made no sense and was unnecessary garbage that they could have hand waved away but instead did the exact opposite by going into even more details (that made even less sense). But still, enjoyable time at the cinema. Unfortunately they didn’t get the memo that the fans just wanted them to roll it right back and give them more of the same. Slop that basic plot back into my trough, please. But alas, instead they made Bryce all weird and angsty (and mostly unconscious), had Kincaid barely speak to Bryce, and ratcheted up the Sonia to an 11. Kinda gummed up the works. Add on top a somehow even more convoluted and unnecessary plot and I guess I was surprised at how disappointed I was… just run it back! But no. That would have been too easy. At least I got to sit in a theater and watch it. That was fun… everyone else seemed to be having a fine enough time so that’s nice. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! We’re back at it with some BMT Live!!!!!!!! Let’s go!

P’s View on the Preview – I had figured originally that The Hitman’s Bodyguard was a play off of a very specific subgenre of bodyguard / assassin films. It kind of is and kind of isn’t. The more interesting thing after watching the original is that the director described Ryan Reynolds’s character as a “endlessly suffering fool” which … is not at all what he was in the first film? That certainly didn’t bode well. What were my expectations? I guess for it to be the same film as the original but minus the few scant laughs which made that film merely mediocre instead of bad.

The Good – I think there is always room for silly comedy-genre films. In this case it is mostly a comedy-spy film in a way? It is okay at being that. There are car chases, and European vistas, and a bad guy who wants to do some nonsensical scheme, etc. etc. It has the pieces to do the things it needs to do to be the thing it wants to be. If this was the first film in the series it wouldn’t necessarily have been good, but without the context I also think it is a bit better than it actually is. Best Bit: Vistas.

The Bad – This is the worst of all possible worlds for a sequel to a movie that was actually pretty fun in my opinion. The first floats completely on the charming interactions between frenemies Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson, it has a few solid laughs, and is pretty fun. The second instead decides Ryan Reynolds is a doofus, and (no offense to Salma Hayek) inserts a weird foil right in between any amusing interaction between the two leads (the only good part of the first film!). The plot ends up convoluted as well, with an insane plot to destroy Europe involving a deep sea drill and a computer virus. I hated this film. I understand why people would like it, but I hated it. Fatal Flaw: The anti-Hitman’s Bodyguard, somehow the antithesis of that somewhat charming film.

The BMT – I think this might be one of the finer examples of the people involved in a film managing to completely misunderstand what made the original good. They managed to lean entirely into the wrong thing (Ryan Reynolds’s character getting injured) and away from the very easy right thing (Samuel L. Jackson and Ryan Reynolds banter). I really don’t get it. Did it meet my expectations? It exceeded them. I would have assumed the film was just call backs and boring nonsense (like Zoolander 2 for example), but instead it is a pretty amusing example of production dropping the ball on a successful comedic conceit.

Roast-radamus – I think there is a strong argument for Planchet (Who?) for Ryan Reynolds in this one, which is bizarre to say, but he kind of exists only so that Hayek and Jackson can dunk on him while the plot happens around them. Obviously a ton of Product Placement (What?) for things like Aviation Gin and various car brands. A great Setting as a Character (Where?) for Italy in particular which this film is predominantly based. A solid MacGuffin (Why?) with the undersea electricity junction off the coast of Italy where a diamond-tipped deep sea drill is going to plant a virus and destroy Europe. And finally a crazy Worst Twist (How?) for the very obvious “Hayek and Jackson are going to adopt Reynolds at the end” that you could see coming from about half hour away. As one can tell from this list of superlatives this is closest to BMT.

Sequel, Prequel, Remake – You want to hear my plotline for a Remake? Let’s see how we can fix this disaster. What made the first film great? The banter between Reynolds and Jackson. So jump forward a year, Jackson is still a hitman, and feels obligated to help out Reynolds because he saved his life (it’s the Hitman’s Code or whatever). So Reynolds has been using him to help him in his business, Jackson will take out hitmen who are trying to get his high profile targets, and Reynolds has now shot to the top of the Best Bodyguard list for 2021. But as Jackson has been warning Reynolds, he probably shouldn’t be helping Reynolds out so much because other hitmen aren’t going to take kindly to one of their own helping out a bodyguard. Thus a big hit is put out on Jackson, and so he needs a bodyguard to help him get to the main Hitman Headquarters to plead with the Head Hitman for leniency. Bing bang boom, we are back with the same rough conceit as the first film, except building out the bodyguard-hitman fictional universe a bit. In the end, naturally, it turns out the Head Hitman was the one who put out the hit, and Reynolds and Jackson need to kill him first to save Jackson. And in the end Jackson becomes the Head Hitman with Reynolds realizing that he needs to go his own way without Jackson’s help in his bodyguarding duties, it is the true bodyguard way. Simply called The Hitman’s Bodyguard 2.

You Just Got Schooled – Quick one to review The Hitman’s Bodyguard which I’ve been talking about a lot in the recap already. The good is that the leads are very charming and the banter between them is pretty amusing. The European setting works well, and I got a few good laughs out of it. The bad is mostly that the film is a bit long (two hours which is at least 15 minutes too long) with maybe one too many action scenes, especially near the end of the film. I’m not surprised it was quite successful, but as should be obvious, I was quite surprised that they decided to bring in good-in-small-doses Hayek character to the forefront in the sequel. Anyways, a solid B comedy I think, I would have been pretty delighted to watch this on an airplane for example.

BMT Live Theater Review – We were back in theaters masked up in an almost entirely empty auditorium. There isn’t much to say, I checked out an Odeon in South London and was pretty impressed with the facilities overall. It was a giant auditorium which made it kind of sad to watch a movie with like twelve other people, but there is still a pandemic going on, so what can you do? One thing I will say is this: my god movies are loud in theaters. I think since I haven’t been in one in over two years I forgot about that. Insanely loud at times. B+ I liked the theater, but am starting to get ready to see some weird horror film in a packed house again.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard Quiz

Ohhhhh, boy, so here I was jet setting across Italy with my best bud and his wife, when suddenly the wife drugs me! Really put a damper on the vacation. Or it would have, if I could remember a lick of what happened. Do you remember what happened in The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) At the beginning of the film Ryan Reynolds is relating his terrible recurring nightmare to his therapist. What is his nightmare?

2) During his sabbatical Reynolds goes to relax on a beautiful beach and read The Secret, but then Selma Hayek shows up to spoil things. Why does Selma Hayek insist on Reynolds helping her to help her husband?

3) Frank Grillo is a grizzled veteran of the Boston police department and ropes the three idiots into helping him foil an eeeeevil international crime plot. What does he hold over the three, and Reynolds in particular?

4) While skulking about Italy, Reynolds and Friends need a place to hide out. Where do they go, and why does this end up being a terrible decision?

5) Ultimately what is the eeeeeeevil plan of our eeeeeevil Grecian billionaire played by Antonio Banderas?

Bonus Question: After the events of the film we learn what happened to Frank Grillo upon his triumphant return to Boston. What happened?

Answers

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard Preview

Jamie and Patrick are pale and sweating. “It’s even worse than I imagined it would be,” says Jamie, gulping down the bile rising in his throat. The film set has become a horror scene with the introduction of Michael Myers. It’s unbearable to watch, with multiple crew members off puking at the mere sight of what is happening. “For the love of God, stop him,” scream the TikTok bros. They pound on Patrick’s rock hard chest in despair, but it’s futile, his eyes are glazed over like doll’s eyes as he has accepted the monster he has become. “He’s unstoppable,” says Patrick gravely. “Listen to me,” begs Jamie in a whisper, tears streaming down his face, “they have given up. Everyone is ready to play ball and make the film we want to make. We have won.” His voice breaks and he looks out on the set and wonders whether you could call something like this winning? No… the whole world has lost. But with that Patrick snaps out of it and realization dawns on his face. “Cut!” he screams to everyone’s relief and Michael Myers looks over as Patrick approaches. With a shudder Patrick pats Myers’ gross cat monster face, “thanks Mike, we…” his voice quavers, “we needed a little Cat in the Hat magic on set to,” he gulps, “bring up people’s spirits.” Mike Myers nods in appreciation and asks if there are any other scenes for him to shoot and Patrick quickly shakes his head and points him to the exit. Everyone lets out a breath as Myers turns to walk away grumbling about the 8 hours of makeup just to shoot a 4 minute scene. Just then a shot rings out and Myers’ cat chest explodes. My god! That shot was meant for Patrick! That’s right! BMT Live is back, Jack! When we saw that a squeakuel was coming out that was actually getting bad enough reviews to qualify for BMT and in theaters for both of us, we couldn’t let the opportunity pass. Here’s to hoping it’s actually a quality BMT film and not just another Keeping Up With the Jonses… that film we watched in theaters that no one remembers. Let’s go!

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard (2021) – BMeTric: 2.7; Notability: 30

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 74.7%; Notability: top 14.3%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 22.2% Higher BMeT: Thunder Force, Cosmic Sin, Music, Tom & Jerry: The Movie, Awake, Outside the Wire, Things Heard & Seen, Spiral: From the Book of Saw, The Unholy, Bliss, The Woman in the Window, Vanquish, Infinite, Chaos Walking, The Marksman, Voyagers, The Virtuoso, Breaking News in Yuba County, Cherry, Separation, and 1 more; Higher Notability: Music, Tom & Jerry: The Movie, Chaos Walking, Infinite, Cherry; Lower RT: Cosmic Sin, Vanquish, Separation, Music, Breaking News in Yuba County, Axis Sally, Infinite, The Virtuoso, Thunder Force, Chaos Walking, The Woman in the Window, Voyagers, Bliss, The Unholy, Awake, Tom & Jerry: The Movie; Notes: As usual I don’t put the plots for just released films because they are uninteresting. The BMeTric is obviously also fake news to a degree. You know what? So is the Notability. This is a pretty big release. I imagine the Notability will rise a bit over the years as people in the crew become famous. All of this is fake!

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – After more than a year of pandemic-induced stay-at-home orders, audiences are eager to hit movie theaters and reunite in a dark room with a larger-than-life big screen and booming sound. As theaters slowly open up, studios are gleefully releasing titles in preparation for what is hopeful to be a profitable and exciting big summer launch. Will “Hitman Wife’s Bodyguard” kickstart the action? … Directed by Patrick Hughes, this comic book-energy spy adventure, gorgeously captured by cinematographer Terry Stacey and keenly scripted with barbed laden dialogue from Tom O’Connor, Brandon Murphy, and Phillip Murphy, is heavy on blood, guts, action, and star power. It really is time for a summer movie season again.

(Uh … what? I’m pretty amazed, the review isn’t really the normal “I get it guys, the movie is terrible … but I like it” good review from critics. This is like “this movie is a solid comedy, fight me in real life”.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPBGtKnNFuU/

(Looks okay. Like the first one a bit. I’m surprised by how little plot they actually told. He is on sabbatical, Hayek find him … and explosions and torture maybe? It really gives nothing away. Britney Spears is doing some heavy lifting on getting me excited for this movie … I’m not sure it works.)

Directors – Patrick Hughes – (Known For: The Hitman’s Bodyguard; Red Hill; BMT: The Expendables 3; The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Notes: From Australia, he’s the son of actor Tim Hughes. A commercial director (for things like Xbox, BMW, etc.), he’s directing a film called The Man from Toronto which kind of just sounds like this film?)

Writers – Tom O’Connor (screenplay & based on characters created by & story) – (Known For: The Courier; The Hitman’s Bodyguard; Fire with Fire; BMT: The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Notes: Somehow there is almost no information about him. Fire with Fire is one of those films where it seems like they’ve photoshopped Bruce Willis’ head onto a stunt double for the entirety of filming.)

Brandon Murphy and Phillip Murphy (screenplay) – (BMT: The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Notes: I assume they are brothers … this gets even more curious, was this film actually written? These guys have almost no information about them either. They are attached to write and direct a sci-fi film involving skiing called Snow Valley maybe?)

Actors – Ryan Reynolds – (Known For: The Hitman’s Bodyguard; The Croods: A New Age; Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw; Deadpool; Deadpool 2; 6 Underground; Ted; The Proposal; Life; Safe House; Pokémon Detective Pikachu; The Croods; Adventureland; Harold & Kumar Get the Munchies; Just Friends; Buried; Definitely, Maybe; Turbo; The Voices; Future BMT: Green Lantern; Blade: Trinity; The In-Laws; The Amityville Horror; A Million Ways to Die in the West; The Change-Up; Criminal; Van Wilder: Party Liaison; Self/less; Smokin’ Aces; Waiting…; BMT: R.I.P.D.; X-Men Origins: Wolverine; The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Notes: Y’all know Ryan Reynolds. He bought Wrexham AFC with Rob McElhenney, they are touring the U.S. this summer … I’m not joking, they bought a football club in Wales.)

Frank Grillo – (Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Boss Level; Captain America: Civil War; Body Brokers; Minority Report; Cosmic Sin; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Zero Dark Thirty; Warrior; Homefront; Black and Blue; The Purge: Anarchy; End of Watch; The Purge: Election Year; Jiu Jitsu; The Grey; Point Blank; Beyond Skyline; Reprisal; Future BMT: My Soul to Take; Pride and Glory; BMT: The Sweetest Thing; Gangster Squad; The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Notes: There is no way he’s actually second billed IMDb, but whatever. Was supposed to be a major character in the Marvel films … but then they killed off his character earlier than anticipated.)

Salma Hayek – (Known For: The Hitman’s Bodyguard; From Dusk Till Dawn; Bliss; Savages; Dogma; The Faculty; Sausage Party; Once Upon a Time in Mexico; Traffic; Desperado; Across the Universe; Tale of Tales; Four Rooms; Frida; Here Comes the Boom; Puss in Boots; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Muppets Most Wanted; The Hummingbird Project; Future BMT: Like a Boss; Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant; Fled; 54; Fools Rush In; How to Be a Latin Lover; After the Sunset; BMT: Wild Wild West; Fair Game; Grown Ups 2; Grown Ups; The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 2000 for Dogma, and Wild Wild West; and in 2014 for Grown Ups 2; Notes: The godmother of Robert Roriguez’s children. Her brother designs chairs.)

Budget/Gross – $30–50 million / Domestic: N/A (Worldwide: N/A)

(Obviously, it hasn’t really gotten to the point where it has an actual return. $30-$50 seems high for a comedy though, it would need to get $100 million potentially to really be a success. The original did get $75 domestic + $100 million international though, so it did make a ton of money.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 31% (15/48): Despite the charms of its ensemble, The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard fails to protect the audience from repetitive and tired genre tropes.

(Isn’t repetitive and tired genre tropes kind of the point? I haven’t seen the original yet, but given the parody poster of The Bodyguard I always figured the movie was a comedic take on a very specific sub-genre. Reviewer Highlight: The impression is of a creative team laughing that they’re getting away with this again, like a group of bank robbers howling as they round the block in their getaway car, then circling back to nonchalantly knock off the same place again. – A.A. Dowd, Variety)

Poster – The Hitman’s Bodyguard’s Bodyguard

(I kind of like that better as a title for the sequel. Also, I am going to surprise you by saying that I kinda like the orange on this poster. It doesn’t really make sense, but it’s better than the alternative. Everything else is lazy and terrible and I hate it. C-)

Tagline(s) – Hit me baby one more time (C+)

(That could be worse. It’s short and kinda says something about the film, although in a meta way that I generally am not keen on. The cleverness is lacking, but again… not offensive.)

Keyword – bodyguard

Top 10: Tenet (2020), Wonder Woman 1984 (1984), Titanic (1997), The Gentlemen (2019), The Dark Knight (2008), The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017), Inception (2010), Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019), The Interpreter (2005), Baywatch (2017)

Future BMT: 82.8 Kazaam (1996), 63.5 Mr. Nanny (1993), 62.9 Fat Albert (2004), 58.2 Wild Orchid (1989), 56.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 51.9 Blackhat (2015), 47.4 Men in Black: International (2019), 46.3 Machete Kills (2013), 44.9 The Rhythm Section (2020), 44.0 Fred Claus (2007);

BMT: Baywatch (2017), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Angel Has Fallen (2019), Geostorm (2017), Fantasy Island (2020), Rambo: Last Blood (2019), Bloodshot (2020), The Expendables 3 (2014), Vampire Academy (2014), The Last Witch Hunter (2015), G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013), London Has Fallen (2016), Hunter Killer (2018), Conan the Barbarian (2011), The Bodyguard (1992), Gangster Squad (2013), Mechanic: Resurrection (2016), The Snowman (2017), Elektra (2005), Over the Top (1987), The Pacifier (2005), Hitman: Agent 47 (2015), Be Cool (2005), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), Romeo Must Die (2000), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Ride Along (2014), Mortdecai (2015), Johnny Mnemonic (1995), The Musketeer (2001), The Gunman (2015), The Prince & Me (2004), Alex Cross (2012), I, Frankenstein (2014), Ride Along 2 (2016), Hollywood Homicide (2003), Exit Wounds (2001), Proud Mary (2018), First Daughter (2004), Grind (2003), I Spy (2002), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Left Behind, Pluto Nash (2002), Never Die Alone (2004)

(Mushy keyword, clearly every film has it … I’ll still say I can’t wait to rewatch Kazaam. And what could have caused the meteoric rise of bodyguard films in the 2010s?! Joking, it is just because people put keywords on films they’ve seen recently and more so since IMDb expanded their user base in 2011. We’ve been over this before.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Samuel L. Jackson is No. 2 billed in The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard and No. 3 billed in Jumper, which also stars Michael Rooker (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 4 billed) => 2 + 3 + 5 + 4 = 14. If we were to watch Amos & Andrew we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The movie, like the first film, was entirely shot in Europe. This sequel was filmed in five European countries which were Italy, Croatia, Slovenia, Bulgaria and the United Kingdom.

First ever theatrical feature film featuring both Morgan Freeman and Samuel L. Jackson. The picture is also the first time that actress Salma Hayek and actor Morgan Freeman have starred in the same film as well as being the first time also for both the acting combo of Ryan Reynolds and Antonio Banderas as well as Morgan Freeman and Ryan Reynolds.

The possibility of another sequel has been touted by the film’s director Patrick Hughes prior to the picture’s premiere in June 2021. He said of another sequel in an interview: “It dawned on me during the first film that the endlessly suffering fool who is Michael Bryce, must suffer endlessly, therefore we must endlessly make sequels. As a result, the sequel does leave things ready for another film. All we can say is that it sets Ryan up to suffer. Endlessly.”

When star Ryan Reynold’s other 2021 release ‘Free Guy’ had its American launch date moved to 13th August 2021 by the Disney studio the stateside release date of ‘Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard’ (2021) moved from its August 2021 U.S. release date to a 16th June 2021 opener in North America.

Publicity for this picture, according to an interview with director Patrick Hughes, states that the character of Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek) suffers from a rare personality disorder which is known in psychiatric medicine as “batshit crazy”.

At least 150 cast and crew from The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017) came back to work on the sequel.

The film stars one Oscar (Academy Award) winner – Morgan Freeman, and four nominees: Salma Hayek, Samuel L. Jackson, Antonio Banderas, and Richard E. Grant.

In reviews of this oddly wordy-titled movie sequel, some critics have jokingly speculated on the title of a possible further sequel, including ‘The Hitman’s Wife’s Child’s Bodyguard’, ‘The Hitman’s Ex-Wife’s Bodyguard’, ‘The Hitman’s Wife’s Son’s Bodyguard’, and ‘The Hitman’s Mother-In-Law’s Agent’s Bodyguard’.

At one point, Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) hits someone with a bottle of Aviation Gin. This is the brand of gin owned by Reynolds in real life.

Though the film is partially set in Greece none of the filming for the movie actually shot there.

One of the biggest ever international film productions to ever shoot in the central-southeastern European nation of Croatia.

Halloween II (1981) Recap

Jamie

Michael Myers is back, Jack! And boy is he angry at his sister (spoiler alert). After the events of the first film, the unstoppable Myers continues his horror spree in the town of Haddonfield. He eventually tracks his ultimate victim, Laurie Strode, to the hospital. Can she stop the maniac before it’s too late? Find out in… Halloween II.

How?! Following the events of the first film, Haddonfield, Illinois is scrambling to figure out what happened. Laurie Strode is in shock and is transported to the local hospital where she is quickly sedated. Forget about her for the next hour, cause it’s the Loomis show everyone. He’s scrambling aroundt being like “he’s goddamn evil!” and “we gotta stop him” and basically acting like a total maniac. Good news and bad news comes with the Loomis show. The bad news is that he inadvertently kills a kid in town that he thinks is Myers. Ooops. The good news is that he does convince people that he’s still alive and they track down Myers. They find that he broke into a school and left curious occult markings and stuff. Suddenly he realizes it! Laurie is Michael Myers younger sister who was put up for adoption after Michael killed her older sister. Her name was changed and no one ever talked about the fact that she was a Myers. Myers is tracking Laurie, which can mean only one thing: the hospital. There, Myers is already killing pretty much everyone. Eventually Laurie wakes up and in a panic begins to evade the killer. She eventually gets out but can’t get a car started to leave. Just then she sees the police and Loomis show up and they are able to save her from Myers before leading him into an operating room. Loomis is stabbed while Laurie is able to blind Myers. In his dying moments (or are they?) Loomis tells Laurie to flee and lights a tank of gas on fire, totally exploding Michael Myers. THE END.

Why?! With the revelation that Laurie was in fact adopted and was the sister of Michael, this colors almost all the motivations from not only this film, but also the original film. In the original it is set up that Michael Myers is mostly interested in the memory of the sister that he killed and the family home that Laurie is seen dropping a key off at. It appears he becomes fixated on Laurie as a result of the random happenstance, right? Wrong, apparently. Just a coincidence… and maybe he just kinda magically is drawn to her by pure evil will. Otherwise it seems to make little sense that he would actually know that Laurie is his sister (secret adoption and name change and all)… this is all to say that Laurie just wants to survive and Myers just wants to kill (but more specifically wants to kill he remaining sister (which still makes no sense)).

Who?! I do like to talk a little bit about the monsters when we watch the entries of horror films, just to note how they change. I think I kinda forgot how consistent Myers was (besides the sister thing). Always an unstoppable force of evil from the get go. The one minor thing they add, that becomes a major thing, is a connection to Celtic occult lore… which ends up kinda ruining everything. Besides that, Dana Carvey shows up in a non-speaking role for like five seconds.

What?! Love it when a sequel really embraces the product placement. Here everyone is constantly asking each other if they might like a refreshing Coke. What does the guy in the hospital do to try to be sweet to Laurie? “Hey, I’m gonna go grab you a Coke.” Honestly, don’t blame them. What’s the only thing that can stop Michael Myers in his tracks? That cool refreshing taste of a Coca-Cola.

Where?! Unlike the revisionist history of Nightmare on Elm Street, this series was always set in the midwest, specifically the fictional town of Haddonfield, Illinois. I wouldn’t say Illinois is required for the plot or anything, but it is made clear, so I’ll say a B+. It really makes it lame that Nightmare went Ohio at the end. Would have been nice if the major horror franchises were East Coast (Friday the 13th), West Coast, and Midwest. Zombies would eventually take the Southern region as their own.

When?! Right off the bat we can throw out an A+ Time Setting Alert on this guy. Set on Halloween and cha, it just might be important to the plot. It is a different kind of horror franchise though, since usually the films still sorta stick the everything being set in the year that the film is actually released. Obviously not the case here. If the first film was set in 1978, then the second one is as well. So really a period piece.

This is certainly a worse movie than I remember from the first time I watched it. It has far too much Loomis (who really started to annoy me even by the end of the first film) and far too little Jamie Lee Curtis, who spends much of the film in a coma. I also still can’t really understand why they made Laurie his sister. It has never made sense and never will make sense. But at least Carpenter doesn’t pretend like it was the plan the whole time. Even he kinda thinks the twist is dumb and only did it because they needed a new storyline for the sequel. Despite this, I think overall the film comes out on the plus side as far as horror films go (not to mention horror sequels). I still like the hospital setting quite a lot and the kills are a nice mix of gory and silly. It makes me wish they made one more for a trilogy to finish the full Halloween night of mayhem. As for The Birds II: Land’s End, it actually lived up to expectations a bit. It’s a little slow going at first, but you can get by with just how much of a total dick one of the characters is and also just how much of a rip-off of Jaws the whole set up is. Shame, really, for a classic film to have a sequel reduced to a boilerplate rip-off decades later. But really the payoff is the end, which is just a batshit crazy scene of mayhem where people are full body burning left and right. Wasn’t expecting how enjoyable the experience would be. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! We are continuing to collect the films I’ve already seen before. I think I’ve seen Halloween II a few times. Let’s go!

P’s View on the Preview – At one point I decided I just wanted to watch a full horror series without waiting for BMT and so I consumed most of the Halloween series in the span of a few months. The preview is a revelation about the second Halloween though. At the time I was like “oh weird they continued the story and it was okay”, but the preview makes it clear Carpenter mostly did the film reluctantly and also forced them to make it gorier because he figured that was the direction horror in particular had gone between 1978 and 1981. I was genuinely surprised at how much of a hand Carpenter had with the odd direction the franchise took after the classic first film. What were my expectations? Well, I had seen the film before and mostly liked it. Given that it is, in fact, a bad movie, I figured with more horror franchise knowledge under my belt I would probably think it was a bad film like the critics did.

The Good – I do like the setting a lot. The setting of the hospital was a genius maneuver instead of running back the same suburban setting from the first film. I was somewhat surprised to realize just how much connective tissue from the first to the second there is, in particular the surprisingly varied methods of killing people and the way Michael displays the bodies all are very similar to the first film. The final full body burn is very impressive. Best Bit: The hospital setting.

The Bad – I cannot understand or believe how little they give Jamie Lee Curtis to do in this film. She basically doesn’t move or talk in the first hour of the film, and then mostly limps around barely being able to scream for the rest. Loomis is a jerk and dumb and I had forgotten how lame his character was until he ended up being the star of the film when outside of the hospital. Speaking of which, too much of the film takes place outside of the hospital, it should have all been inside the hospital with Loomis only showing up at the end. The kills in this one feel far more exploitative, and I think the entire thing would have been better served by a similarly slow and methodical pace of the first. Fatal Flaw: Too little Curtis.

The BMT – Yup, I can transparently see all of the issues this film had now that I know the rhythms of an 80s horror franchise. It tries to ratchet up the gore, but it feels exploitative. It fails to leverage its star, favoring a dialogue-less monster instead, which never works. It has far too much filler with Loomis wandering around. And then the twist is awful. And amazingly, from what I can glean, all of those decisions were Carpenter’s … I guess it makes sense given he didn’t want to so a second Halloween film, he wanted to do an anthology series instead. Did it meet my expectations? Absolutely. I kind of liked this film the first time I watched it. This time? I can transparently see all of the things they failed to do to keep the franchise going.

Roast-radamus – A solid Product Placement (What?) for the obviously placed Coca-Cola machines seen in the hospital. A very excellent Setting as a Character (Where?) for Haddonfield, Illinois which is where all of the original Halloween films take place (as that is where Michael Myers grew up and where he killed his sister in 1963). And an A+ Temporal Setting (When?) for the film taking place mostly on Halloween Night, 1978 (explicitly that year as it is explained that it is precisely 15 years after he killed his sister). Mostly closest to BMT I think, in that isn’t isn’t unpleasant to watch, just bemusing.

Prequel, Sequel, Remake – I think with a lot of sequels your best bet is a Remake. Mainly I think the key is setting it entirely in the hospital. Show Loomis finding the body missing and telling Laurie that the killer is still out there and to not let the doctors knock her out, that he’ll get there as soon as possible to prevent Michael from finding her. Then introduce the late-night skeleton crew at the hospital. From that point it is mostly the same as the film, except now Laurie is conscious and actively trying to rally the staff to defeat Michael because she knows he’s there somewhere. We see the staff picked off one by one (after they find the security guard missing … curious), and the remaining survivors corralled further and further into the dark hospital unable to escape. In the end Laurie and the young EMT friend find the staff killed and displayed like the girls in the first film, and just as Michael finds them Loomis comes bursting through the door and incapacitates Michael once again. Loomis explains that the police arrested him, suspicious as to how much he knew about Michael during the events of the first film, but they were convinced once the hospital’s phone lines were found to be cut. This sets up a concluding sequel which would take place entirely within the Myers home. Still called Halloween II.

You Just Got Schooled – Obviously I had to rewatch the classic Halloween (1978) prior to watching this film. And yeah, it is a classic for a reason. It is a lot different than the other films in the series though (even the second). It basically invents the Unstoppable Force as far as killers go (that might not be precisely true, but I think it is a plausible claim at least). But then the film takes absolute ages before anyone is killed. Mostly Myers can be seen stalking some of his victims and waiting around before finally starting to kill them. It works because it is not really a “slasher” film as the genre has now been defined. I also get why later entries in the series ended up going with the more early kills and more evenly paced kills. A. The film is, as I said, a classic and is probably one of my favorite horror films. Curtis is, in particular, amazing in the film.

Bring a Friend Analysis – Wow, this is getting long, but I can’t not talk about The Birds II: Land’s End. I hadn’t seen the original prior to the viewing, but did catch up on that as well (obviously a great film and quite a bit different than I imagined, I thought it took place on an island like Jaws). I think the makers of Birds II took to heart the idea of animals attacking during an otherwise intriguing family drama a little too much. The sequel is 95% the story of a family dealing with tragedy, and 5% “oh, wait, I forgot about the birds, quick put some birds in there for a second.” The film would have been boring except that the local newspaper editor/photographer, Frank, is an insatiable horndog who can’t stop hitting on Ted’s wife May even after being told multiple times about Ted’s difficulties dealing with the death of Ted and May’s son. It is just an incredibly aggressive and unyielding display which captured my interest in the most BMT way. B. Unusually high, but I think the combination of it being a made-for-tv sequel to a beloved film, and Frank makes for a film that as crazy as it sounds I would willingly watch again. Wild stuff.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Halloween II (1981) Quiz

Oh man, so I was in the hospital for a totally unrelated issue with a severe concussion I received at the big high school football game (I’m the star quarterback / running back natch), when this slasher just starts slashing everyone! Well, that’s what I was told since I coldn’t remember anything because of the concussion I had received. Do you remember what happened in Halloween II?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Soon after getting shot six times by Loomis, Michael reappears and steals a new knife. Where does he get it?

2) Initially the police think Michael Myers is dead, despite Loomis insisting he is inhuman, able to walk away from being shot six times. Why do they think he’s dead?

3) How does Michael Myers get into the hospital? 

4) During the night Laurie Strode has an emergency!! They need a doctor. Why?

5) How do they kill Michael Myers? 

Bonus Question: What do the good guys ultimately do with Michael Myers’ charred remains?

Answers

Halloween II (1981) Preview

“Where is everyone?” Patrick says in exasperation with a look at his watch. The set is empty and today was supposed to be the big zeppelin chase sequence. Just then Jamie runs up. He’s out of breath, but manages to gasp out news of an impending disaster. The TikTok teenyboppers playing Richie and PJ are holding out for a stand alone series of their own: The R&P Saga: Young Guns II – Part 1 of 4. “And we can’t get rid of them,” Jamie says with a shake of his head, “it’s in their contract that they are the only actors allowed to pilot the airships… and we’ve already spent $40 million on the state-of-the-art zeppelin technology.” Patrick throws his hands up in despair. Advances in zeppelin technology may prevent any future disasters like the Hindenburg, but apparently it can still be the reason a film production goes down in flames. They settle in their chairs and ponder the mess they’re in. “Kids these days,” Patrick thinks ruefully. “Don’t give a damn about baseball or good ol’ apple pie. Just want to twerk and dab and somesuch,” he thinks stroking his previously unmentioned goatee he grew for production. Suddenly he jumps out of his chair. Eureka! He grabs Jamie by the elbow and starts to lead him away. “Get makeup and wardrobe on the phone, they have a long night ahead of them,” he tells Jamie who is thoroughly confused. Sighing in exasperation he lets him in on the plan. “Kids these days. We gotta scare them straight and you and I both know what that means.” Jamie is already pale with horror. “No, not… not him,” he stammers, but Patrick just nods. “Get me Michael Myers,” he says, but the quaver in his voice belies his own fear. That’s right, we are starting in on one of the major horror franchises that has probably the best first entry in the series, but some pretty dire sequels in the mix. Little known BMT fact is that Halloween II is a BMT qualifier, while the very odd Halloween 3 (which doesn’t even feature Michael Myers) somehow has escaped BMT by some quirk of nostalgia. Oh well, bring on #2. Let’s go!

“It’s a disaster,” the mastermind notes, cackling with glee. “Release the film, for it’s too late for them to stop us.” The cyborgs grin and leave the office to do his bidding. The mastermind hobbles over to a large birdcage housing his award winning pigeons. “Yes, my pretties. Just a matter of time before you are feasting on the flesh of the bad movie twins.” That’s right! Obviously everyone knows that the director of Halloween II also directed The Birds II: Land’s End, the TV movie sequel to the Hitchcock classic that was only released on VHS and I definitely didn’t buy off of ebay for probably (definitely) too much money… … Let’s go!

Halloween II (1981) – BMeTric: 18.6; Notability: 47

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 23.9%; Notability: top 12.1%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.0% Higher BMeT: Endless Love, Galaxy of Terror, The Final Conflict, Saturday the 14th, Final Exam, Madman, The Hand, Friday the 13th: Part 2, The Incredible Shrinking Woman, Student Bodies, Deadly Blessing, Caveman, The Cannonball Run, Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen, The Boogens; Higher Notability: The Cannonball Run, The Incredible Shrinking Woman; Lower RT: Saturday the 14th, Final Exam, Deadly Blessing, Death Hunt, The Devil and Max Devlin, The Hand, The Incredible Shrinking Woman, Student Bodies, Caveman, Endless Love, Friday the 13th: Part 2, Tattoo, The Final Conflict, The Cannonball Run, Galaxy of Terror; Notes: You know what? That sounds right. The film is arguably a genuine cult hit. I liked it when I saw it years ago, entirely because of the setting. I am not surprised it is in the mid-6’s on IMDb.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – This can get monotonous. But since most of this movie takes place in a hospital, the killer has lots of props to work with. I’ve already mentioned the whirlpool bath and the needles. Another particularly nasty gimmick is the intravenous tube. The killer uses it to drain the blood from one of his victims. That’s gruesome, but give the filmmakers credit. They use that gimmick to deliver the one scene I’ve been impatiently expecting for years and years in gore films: Finally, one of the characters kills himself by slipping on the wet blood and hitting his head on the floor. Sooner or later, it had to happen.

(Yup, the hospital does all of the heavy lifting in the film. You get interesting kills. It is spooky and quiet. You have a protagonist who is vulnerable being held against her will in the location with a killer. I can see why critics wouldn’t like it at the time though.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEo5m2VEprI/

(Old 80s horror trailers like this are hard to get a grip on because Halloween has been so pervasive throughout my life … it was already a notorious long-running horror franchise by the time I would have even considered watching it. So it is weird to think of teenagers in 1980 sitting in a theater watching that trailer and being amped to FINALLY get to see Michael Myers again … was that a thing? It must have been.)

Directors – Rick Rosenthal – (Known For: Bad Boys; Just a Little Harmless Sex; Nearing Grace; Distant Thunder; Drones; Future BMT: Halloween: Resurrection; Russkies, American Dreamer; BMT: Halloween II; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for the show Transparent. Since the late 80’s he’s been doing pretty much exclusively television as far as directing is concerned.)

Writers – John Carpenter (written by) – (Known For: They Live; Halloween; Halloween; Escape from New York; Assault on Precinct 13; Escape from L.A.; The Fog; Assault on Precinct 13; Prince of Darkness; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Halloween III: Season of the Witch; Dark Star; Black Moon Rising; Eyes of Laura Mars; Future BMT: Halloween: Resurrection; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Halloween; Lockout; BMT: The Fog; Ghosts of Mars; Halloween II; Notes: His father was a professor of music, and he, in turn, composed many of the synth-heavy soundtracks to the horror films he wrote.)

Debra Hill (written by) – (Known For: Halloween; Halloween; Escape from L.A.; The Fog; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Future BMT: Halloween: Resurrection; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Halloween; BMT: The Fog; Halloween II; Notes: Worked with Carpenter on many of his early films, and one of the bigger female producers of the time.)

Actors – Jamie Lee Curtis – (Known For: Knives Out; True Lies; Halloween; A Fish Called Wanda; Halloween; Trading Places; Escape from New York; My Girl; Freaky Friday; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension; The Fog; Forever Young; Veronica Mars; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; From Up on Poppy Hill; Prom Night; Halloween III: Season of the Witch; Terror Train; Beverly Hills Chihuahua; The Tailor of Panama; Future BMT: Halloween: Resurrection; My Girl 2; You Again; Drowning Mona; House Arrest; BMT: Virus; Christmas with the Kranks; Perfect; Halloween II; Notes: Tony Curtis’ daughter, she was the original Scream Queen. Has been married to Christopher Quest for nearly 40 years.)

Donald Pleasence – (Known For: Halloween; The Great Escape; Escape from New York; You Only Live Twice; Prince of Darkness; THX 1138; Phenomena; Tales That Witness Madness; The Eagle Has Landed; Escape to Witch Mountain; Wake in Fright; The Greatest Story Ever Told; Fantastic Voyage; Death Line; Dracula; Cul-de-sac; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; Alone in the Dark; The Night of the Generals; The Last Tycoon; Future BMT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; BMT: Halloween II; Notes: Was nominated for an Emmy for The Defection of Simas Kudirka. One of the only actors to appear in the five original Michael Meyers Halloween films.)

Charles Cyphers – (Known For: Halloween; Major League; Escape from New York; Grizzly II: The Concert; The Fog; Assault on Precinct 13; Coming Home; Death Wish II; Murder in the First; Gleaming the Cube; Truck Turner; The Onion Field; Big Bad Mama II; A Force of One; MacArthur; Honkytonk Man; Borderline; Gray Lady Down; Vigilante Force; Hunter’s Blood; Future BMT: Loaded Weapon 1; BMT: Halloween II; Notes: A decently big television actor, including a starring role in Nick Freno: Licensed Teacher. He appeared in many Carpenter films at the time.)

Budget/Gross – $2.5 million / Domestic: $25,533,818 (Worldwide: $25,533,818)

(Horror films at the time were easy money. You could make a crap horror film in a weekend and make $10 million dollars easy peasy, just have Carpenter fire up his synth and you are set.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 32% (13/41): Halloween II picks up where its predecessor left off – and quickly wanders into a dead end that the franchise would spend decades struggling to find its way out of.

(Yeah, basically. I’ve seen it before, and I like the second film, but it is true that they end up painting themselves into a corner with Myers as the main villain. Out of the three main horror mega-franchises they struggled the most with the lore. Reviewer Highlight: This uninspired version amounts to lukewarm sloppy seconds in comparison to the original film that made director John Carpenter a hot property. – Variety)

Poster – Ballerween II: Big Time Scares

(This almost looks like a spoof poster. The “All New” in the corner and “from the makers of Halloween”.. Uh duh. Otherwise it’s a nice looking poster with some mildly interesting font. Not as iconic as the first one, but I like the artistry. B+.)

Tagline(s) – More Of The Night He Came Home (C-)

(That… is what it is. It does its job, but in a not at all clever way. Fine.)

Keyword – halloween

Top 10: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001), Deadpool (2016), Mean Girls (2004), The Karate Kid (1984), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), Wonder (2017), Zodiac (2007), The Predator (2018), Hocus Pocus (1993), Our Friend (2019)

Future BMT: 92.3 Son of the Mask (2005), 82.5 Halloween: Resurrection (2002), 71.8 Bewitched (2005), 69.3 Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013), 67.0 Halloween II (2009), 63.7 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 63.6 Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), 60.7 Skinwalkers (2006), 58.9 Pet Sematary II (1992), 57.7 The Next Best Thing (2000);

BMT: The Predator (2018), Batman Forever (1995), Thir13en Ghosts (2001), Halloween II (1981), Made of Honour (2008), Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016), Deadly Friend (1986), Town & Country (2001)

(I love that they, correctly, have The Predator there. A very Halloween film, weirdly. I can’t wait to watch all of the Halloweens, they are terrible with really weird lore. I think the plot is right … America was weirdly obsessed with ghosts and ghouls and Halloween in the late 90s … or is that just because I was a kid in the 90s watching Nickelodeon?)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jamie Lee Curtis is No. 1 billed in Halloween II and No. 2 billed in Christmas with the Kranks, which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 6 + 1 = 12. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The mask Michael wears is the exact same mask (a repainted and modified Captain Kirk mask) worn in the original Halloween (1978) film. It looks different in the sequel because the paint had faded due to a few reasons, first because Nick Castle, the original Michael, kept it in his back pocket during shoots. Also, Debra Hill kept the mask under her bed for several years until the filming of Halloween II, causing it to collect dust and yellow because Hill was a heavy smoker. Also, the mask appears wider because Dick Warlock is shorter and stockier than Nick Castle, so the mask fit his head differently. As the producers thought it would be the final sequel in the series, they let Warlock keep the mask, scalpel, boots, jumpsuit, and knife used in filming. When they decided to revive Michael in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), the producers realized they had made a mistake and never again gave props out to the cast and crew, therefore subsequent sequels used different masks that looked rather different.

Producer/writer John Carpenter didn’t like director Rick Rosenthal’s first version of the film, believing it to be as scary as an episode of Quincy M.E. (1976). A re-edit was done, but Carpenter still found it too tame, so he took over the editing process and sped up the action. He also shot a few gory scenes that were added into the film despite Rosenthal’s objections. This annoyed Rosenthal because he had wanted the sequel to emulate the way the original avoided explicit violence and gore in favor of well-crafted suspense and terror. In fact, Carpenter had intended for “Halloween II” to do just that, but the success of the new wave of slasher films in 1979 and 1980 made him afraid that a film which was scary and R-rated but lacked bloodshed and nudity would do poorly at the box office, leading to the extra graphic material inclusions. He later said that he thought that Rosenthal didn’t have a “feeling for what was going on” with the film”. Rosenthal would go on to direct Halloween: Resurrection (2002).

John Carpenter and Debra Hill had no interest in making a sequel as they believed the original Halloween (1978) was a standalone movie. When the studio offered them more money to write the script, Carpenter took the job so he could earn back what he believes was his owed pay (at the time, Carpenter had seen little earnings from the original movie. He admitted that he received a significant back-end salary much later). However, the script was not forming out as well as he thought, and he has personally stated that the only thing helping him through the screenplay process was a six-pack of Budweiser every day, which led to what he believes an inferior script and bad choices in the movie’s story. He later called Halloween II “an abomination and a horrible movie”.

This is the only Halloween film to show the morning after the 31st. Every other movie ends on Halloween night.

“Halloween II” was originally written to take place in a high rise apartment building. Later in script meetings, however, the setting was changed to Haddonfield Hospital.

John Carpenter turned down an offer to direct, as he initially had no desire to become involved in the project anyway. However, several of his people convinced him to stay involved in some capacity, like executive producer, so that he could at least earn some money from it. He also liked the fact that he could help give a new director a chance to make a movie, as the first film had done for him. He ended up producing and writing the screenplay, and later got involved in editing and re-shoots as well. He was then asked by NBC to shoot additional footage for the TV version of Halloween (1978), since the original version was too short for the network, so he also oversaw the filming of those scenes while Halloween II was being shot.

In a 1981 interview in Fangoria magazine, Debra Hill told of how there was consideration of making the movie in 3D. Hill said: “We investigated a number of 3-D processes . . . but they were far too expensive for this particular project. Also, most of the projects we do involve a lot of night shooting-evil lurks at night. It’s hard to do that in 3D”.

Debra Hill years later knocked Dick Warlock’s portrayal as Michael Myers, claiming he didn’t move as well as Nick Castle or have his body language. Dick defended himself saying he followed her instructions all the time while she was on the set and she never showed any dissatisfaction with his work at the time of filming.

John Carpenter himself admits that while writing Halloween II, the idea of Laurie being Michael’s sister came to him “at 2:00 in the morning in front of a typewriter with a six pack of beer.”

Jimmy’s fate is left unclear in the theatrical cut, as he simply collapses in his car, from a concussion after he slipped on the pool of blood. However, in the alternate ending, he is revealed to have survived, with bandages over his head, and sharing an ambulance with Laurie to be transported to another hospital.

This sequel was originally intended to be the final film to feature Michael Myers, Dr Sam Loomis and Laurie Strode. Producer/writer John Carpenter purposely killed off Myers and Dr. Loomis because he wanted to end the Haddonfield storyline. When he was asked to do a second sequel, he wanted to continue as an anthology of non-related horror stories that take place during Halloween. He co-wrote and produced Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) as a stand-alone movie, but fans were disappointed because they saw Halloween and Michael Myers as synonymous. The studio chose to revive both Myers and Dr. Loomis without Carpenter for the aptly titled Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), which retcons the events of Halloween II, and completely ignores Halloween III.

Young Guns II Recap

Jamie

Billy the Kid is back, Jack! And boy howdy is it… a movie that was made. As the authorities in New Mexico try to reign in the remnants of the Regulators, they start arresting the whole gang, inadvertently bringing them back together. Back on the run, they are pursued by an old ally, Pat Garrett. Can they escape before it’s too late? Find out in… Young Guns II.

How?! Unfortunately this film is bookended by a weird sequence that supposes that the conspiracy theory that Billy the Kid survived to old age is true (hint: it’s not) but whatevs. We learn that after the events of the first film (which we all know by heart), Billy the Kid continues his wild ways with a new crew. Unfortunately, Doc Scurlock and Chavez are brought back into the mix as the authorities of New Mexico try to arrest and do away with Billy the Kid and his associates. Seeing the writing on the wall, Billy makes a deal with the Governor to get a pardon, but is arrested instead. As a result he doesn’t just escape jail, he also frees Doc and Chavez for one more go around. Like the asshole that he is, Billy promises that they’ll escape to Mexico, but instead leads the new gang around having fun. Meanwhile a former member of the gang, Pat Garrett, is offered the job of sheriff in order to hunt down Billy and the gang. He pursues them to a house of sin, where through trickery Billy and the gang escape again. Soon thereafter the gang learns that they were never heading to Mexico, but it’s too late… Garrett is there and most of the gang is killed trying to escape, including Chavez and Doc. Billy is captured and even though he ends up escaping he is sad to find the gang dead and scattered. Eventually cornered by Garrett again, Billy begs to just let him go on to Mexico and eventually he relents (confirming the conspiracy story). Thus Billy the Kid lives happily ever after… until the sequel! THE END.

Why?! Who knows. Billy the Kid is portrayed as a rambunctious kid with no plan and a death wish (which mostly just results in the deaths of everyone around him). There is no reason for anything in this film. They aren’t trying to get money or anything… just kinda a general sense of revenge and doing crazy stuff. At least the first had some reason for the events. Here Billy just comes off like a crazy asshole.

Who?! The funnest fact of all is that Jon Bon Jovi and Tom Cruise appear unbilled in the first Young Guns film. Even funner is that Jon Bon Jovi apparently was so thrilled with the experience that he came back for more, appearing unbilled and in Young Guns II AND did all of the songs for the soundtrack AND that was his debut solo album! The more I write about it the crazier it all seems. I can only assume that he and Estevez were like super pals or something.

What?! I think most people were probably put off by the scene where Billy the Kid decides to put away his childish ways and grow up, but then takes a swig of Mountain Dew and winks at the camera. But I thought it was a bold acting choice by Estevez. There is also a surprising number of props for sale for a film that pretty much everyone forgets exists… like check out this wanted poster for Doc that is apparently authentic and unfortunately sold out for the low, low price of $145.

Where?! New Mexico, baby. Very solid setting given that the state is somewhat rare and it’s kind of mentioned all the time. Historically necessary to the plot as well… I mean, I think I have to give this a solid A.

When?! Since this is a historical film, you would have to assume it sticks to the idea that this all took place in 1881. The bookends apparently take place in 1950, meaning that Emilio Estevez in old man makeup is portraying a… like 90 year old. Alright, that’s crazy town. What is he, Clint Eastwood? A-.

It’s super weird to realize that in the late 80’s there weren’t just major Westerns being made, but like hip and rad Westerns starring dope teen heartthrobs. The first film is a much better representation of that as it’s a tale of revenge (classic) and honestly, other than some funny opening sequences of everyone being like “wahoooo, shoot some guns,” is played pretty straight with solid acting all around. Estevez’s take on Billy is in particular quite good and there’s some funny bits in there as well. The sequel though lacks all of that purpose. No more revenge. No nothing really other than Billy and the gang getting hunted down. And they don’t even pay that off. Instead they just lean into the conspiracy that he was still alive. They could have made the film about how Billy had to die. He was a shooting star that was destined to fall. But nah, nothing matters and he’s alive as an old man in bad old man makeup looking like Jean Claude Van Damme a la The Quest. Don’t worry about the plot of the film because he survived and is just a shitty old man that led all his friends to their deaths… so I guess I’d sum it up by saying I wish it had something interesting to say and then maybe it wouldn’t have been totally forgotten to time. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! I cannot wait until they make Old Guns to finish up this trilogy (it is more likely than you think …). Let’s go!

P’s View on the Preview – My perception of this film was that it was going to be like … electric guitars and a “young actors version of a western in 1990”. Which admittedly would have been amazing and rad. The trailer and original film told a different story. As the original film was pretty good, I was intrigued as to why the second was considered so bad. What were my expectations? I guess for it to just be the first movie again? A tale as old as time as to why a sequel to a successful film ends up being panned by critics.

The Good – The acting in the film is still good, especially Estevez who I think created quite an interesting character with his giggly psychotic Billy the Kid (in both films). I would have been pretty skeptical, given how the first film ended, that they would have had much of a “true” story to tell in the second, but there was quite a lot to work with given the events that lead up to Billy the Kid’s death. And yeah, the true story aspect was interesting. During both films I found myself reading a ton of Billy the Kid history on wikipedia, and they seemed like they did a decent job with both films in the end. Best Bit: Interesting historical story.

The Bad – The worst part was probably the bookends (which you could maybe tell they knew about at the time since there is nary of whisper of old-man-Estevez in the marketing material), the dumb story of a con man pretending to be Billy the Kid in the 50s is just not very interesting. The film also just feels very muddled. They want to have this lingering question of Billy being alive at the end, when the actual interesting bit was the manhunt a la Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The whittled down ensemble is much less impressive in the second, and they also unnecessarily kill a bunch of them when that didn’t happen in real life which was annoying. Fatal Flaw: Bookend segments.

The BMT – As we go through sequels I think we’ve managed to capture quite a few films which had great / surprisingly good initial films and terrible / surprisingly bad sequels. That is obviously the trope, but it makes me wonder whether that is anomalous in BMT history. Anyways, this is a bad western, which is a rarity. But, it is also a little too genuine to be fun, so I doubt I’ll ever revisit it. Did it meet my expectations? It mostly defied them. I expected them to crank up the electric guitar to 1000% and lean into all of the worst bits of the first and create an abomination. Instead it was an interesting movie with decent acting which just failed to be well made and really sunk itself with the bookend segments. I wonder if it wouldn’t have been BMT at all without those bookends … we’ll never know.

Roast-radamus – Basically only can get Setting as a Character (Where?) for New Mexico … long ago we did The Host as New Mexico, a movie I genuinely just don’t remember the plot of. Why didn’t we do this movie? Anyways, closest to Good I think.

Prequel, Sequel, Remake – The obvious answer to the question is Prequel, as that is really the only place you can go with it. Prior to the first film you have Billy the Kid, orphan, gunslinger, and genuine psycho just starting out in life. Fifteen, working in a boarding house for food, and stealing whenever and whatever he can get his hands on. The story would mainly focus on his time in and around Bonita where he is stealing horses for a living and gaining his original Kid Antrim name, and several run ins with the eeeeeevil Francis Cahill (fictionalized, probably just a dick … I’ve read just the Wikipedia page). The film culminates with him shooting Cahill, turning himself in, and then, realizing his life is already over, laughing and escaping. The end of the film is him in a saloon in Lincoln County and asking someone who the dapper gentleman is. “Oh, that’s John Henry Tunstall, he raises cattle.” The end. Obviously it is called Youngest Gun.

You Just Got Schooled – And that is a perfect introduction to the review of the original Young Guns. First, I’ll say that I quite enjoyed the film. I was surprised that it is an actual western. I figured it was going to be a silly electric-guitar faux-western or something given the brat pack cast. And the story is very interesting. If you trust Wikipedia it seems like quite a good telling of the Lincoln County War which I hadn’t really heard of before as I hadn’t ever really read up on Billy the Kid before. Estevez’s performance in particular is really rather good. I’ve mentioned it a few times, but his psychotic giggling is just pitch perfect for a character where you are like “wait … is this guy a sociopath?” … he is. B+. Kind of like Wyatt Earp, it is a film mostly interesting because of its historical context, but enjoyable if you like westerns I think.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Young Guns II Quiz

Oh man, so I just had a huuuuuge adventure with all of my pals, and so I was just hanging out, murderin’. Normal guy stuff you know? When bang! Someone hits me right on the head with the butt of their gun. Now I don’t remember a thing. Do you remember anything about Young Guns II?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) At the beginning of the film where is Doc (Kiefer Sutherland) and why is he arrested? 

2) Why does the governor want to meet with Billy the Kid, and what does he promise in return? 

3) How do Chavez and Doc escape from the makeshift prison while awaiting trial?

4) What is Pat Garrett offered in exchange for hunting down Billy the Kid?

5) What item did Billy leave behind as a message to Pat Garrett when he was on his trail? Billy leaves his tobacco pouch, which Pat Garrett gave him. And guess what?

Bonus Question: What did Old Billy the Kid say he was doing all those years between his “death” and the present?

Answers

Young Guns II Preview

“So we can’t kill them off, that would be frowned upon,” Patrick says as he thumbs through the contracts for Rich and Poe Jrs. “Time machine?” Jamie suggests unhelpfully, but Patrick has to admit, aging them up via time travel must be considered. Particularly since they’ve kind of lost the thread on whether they are attempting to make something unironically good, ironically bad… or maybe neither. At the very least they realized that the nut shots, fart jokes, and giant piles of poo being shoved in people’s faces needed to stop. As they walk to a nearby food truck still pondering their predicament they observe a few rad social media celebs making a new video for Tik Tok or some shit. Cast in a new comedy by the studio hoping to cash in on their big time tween followings, they couldn’t really act. But Jamie and Patrick had to admit that the singing, dancing, and backflipping reminded them a little of what made Rich and Poe so fresh and dope in their first entry. “If only they could be Rich and Poe, Jrs., right?” Jamie says with a chuckle, but Patrick isn’t laughing. “Rich and Poe Jrs. contracts don’t mention anything about additional casting, right?” Jamie looks confused, but there is a twinkle in Patrick’s eye. The next day the Rich and Poe set looks more like a music video than a major motion picture. A couple of the Tik Tok gang are now portraying Richie and PJ, Poe’s older set of twins. But singing and dancing aren’t all they are going to be doing, as they’ve returned the film to its PG-13 roots with Richie and PJ having to take up the mantle of Rich and Poe as the department’s newest young guns. That’s right! We are watching the sequel to Young Guns (which barely doesn’t qualify for BMT), Young Guns II. The days of the major motion picture western starring a group of up and comers is far behind us at this point, let alone one that spawns a sequel. This is why it’s part of our 90’s Wild Card cycle as this feels like a distinctly 90’s phenomenon. All the worse for BMT. Let’s go!

Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (1990) – BMeTric: 17.2; Notability: 52

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 36.8%; Notability: top 10.9%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 26.7% Higher BMeT: Rocky V, Ghost Dad, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Wings of the Apache, 3 Men and a Little Lady, RoboCop 2, Navy Seals, Ernest Goes to Jail, Hard to Kill, Air America, Desperate Hours, Another 48 Hrs., Days of Thunder, The Rookie, Men at Work, The Guardian, Bird on a Wire, Marked for Death, The Forbidden Dance, and 16 more; Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Jetsons: The Movie, Air America; Lower RT: Ghost Dad, Spaced Invaders, Wings of the Apache, Meet the Applegates, Where the Heart Is, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Heart Condition, Ernest Goes to Jail, Opportunity Knocks, Air America, Everybody Wins, Brain Dead, Too Much Sun, Graffiti Bridge, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Navy Seals, Another 48 Hrs., Short Time, Stella, Sibling Rivalry and 19 more; Notes: That is mighty close to a cult classic right there. It hit 6.6 a little bit ago! That is rather high, no wonder the BMeTric has been dropping like a stone. The notability it excellent, they really pulled out all the stops for this young guns (intended) back in the early 90s huh?

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Actors often are advised to meditate on the characters they play, to get inside their skins and understand what makes them the way they are. “Young Guns II” presents the strange spectacle of actors who have apparently done more of that than the filmmakers have – so that we sense there’s more to these people than meets the eye. The screenplay feels unfinished, the direction is ambling, but the performances are interesting.

(Interesting. That gives me some hope I’ll like the movies since I tend to like the actors involved. So if the performances by the likeable actors are the best part, than that should make it okay in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-FmfxLy7fo/

(Actually looks pretty good given you’ve seen the first. It is more gritty that the poster or perception of a 1990 western might suggest, but that is in line with the style of the first film. I can’t help but like Estevez’s giggly portrayal of Billy the Kid as well. Funny there is no mention of the bookend segments at all.)

Directors – Geoff Murphy – (Known For: The Quiet Earth; Fortress 2; Goodbye Pork Pie; Utu; Never Say Die; Spooked; Future BMT: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory; Freejack; BMT: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Notes: Received the Order of Merit from the New Zealand government for his contributions to film.)

Writers – John Fusco (characters & written by) – (Known For: Spirit Riding Free; The Highwaymen; Hidalgo; The Forbidden Kingdom; Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron; Young Guns; Thunderheart; Crossroads; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny; The Babe; Loch Ness; Future BMT: The Shack; BMT: Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Notes: Travelled the American South as a blues musician before going back to school to become a screenwriter. Apparently has a black belt in kung fu.)

Actors – Emilio Estevez – (Known For: The Outsiders; The Breakfast Club; Mission: Impossible; St. Elmo’s Fire; Young Guns; Stakeout; Badlands; The Way; Repo Man; Bobby; The Public; Tex; The War at Home; Never on Tuesday; Sand; The L.A. Riot Spectacular; Los reyes magos; Future BMT: D3: The Mighty Ducks; Freejack; Another Stakeout; Men at Work; Arthur and the Invisibles; D2: The Mighty Ducks; Loaded Weapon 1; The Mighty Ducks; Nightmares; Judgment Night; That Was Then… This Is Now; BMT: Maximum Overdrive; Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Maximum Overdrive in 1987; Notes: For most of the 2000s he was pretty much exclusively a director. He just appeared in the Disney+ sequel series to Mighty Ducks though, and is apparently going to direct and star in a third Young Guns Film called Guns 3: Alias Billy the Kid … WTF?)

Kiefer Sutherland – (Known For: A Few Good Men; Stand by Me; The Lost Boys; A Time to Kill; Melancholia; Dark City; Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me; Young Guns; Monsters vs. Aliens; At Close Range; Flatliners; Phone Booth; Freeway; The Vanishing; Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces; The Reluctant Fundamentalist; To End All Wars; Bright Lights, Big City; Twelve; Forsaken; Future BMT: The Wild; Mirrors; The Sentinel; Taking Lives; Renegades; The Cowboy Way; Eye for an Eye; The Three Musketeers; The Nutcracker Prince; BMT: Zoolander 2; Marmaduke; Flatliners; Pompeii; Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Pompeii in 2015; Notes: Son of Donald Sutherland he was often associated with the Brat Pack of the late 80s. Settled into being one of the most famous television actors of the 2000s starring in 24, Designated Survivor, and now the new Fugitive series.)

Lou Diamond Phillips – (Known For: Young Guns; La Bamba; Stand and Deliver; The 33; Courage Under Fire; The Big Hit; Another Day in Paradise; Sky; Demon Wind; Picking Up the Pieces; Disorganised Crime; Filly Brown; Stark Raving Mad; Absolon; Route 666; Shadow of the Wolf; S.I.S.: Extreme Justice; Teresa’s Tattoo; A Show of Force; Sanitarium; Future BMT: Renegades; The First Power; Brokedown Palace; BMT: Bats; Supernova; Hollywood Homicide; Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for The Crossroads of History. Apparently is a musician playing with the band The Pipefitters with Lou Diamond Phillips, and was one of the final few actors considered to replace David Duchovny in seasons 8 and 9 of the X-files.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $44,143,410 (Worldwide: $44,143,410)

(Not bad, but I imagine the original made a lot more … huh, nope, it made basically exactly the same amount, $45 million. So I have to assume the absence of a completed trilogy is due to Estevez not being interested, or the plotline precluding such a possibility (which seems unlikely).)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (6/17)

(I’ll have to make a consensus: Something feels off about this as compared to the predecessor, as if they half wrote the film and let the actors fill in the rest. Reviewer Highlight: [W]henever a few of the Young Guns get together and have to behave like soulful cowboys, the movie stops dead in its tracks. The trouble with so many of today’s young actors is that there’s no deep-seated yearning or fury in their performances. – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly)

Poster – Young Sklogs 2: Sklogs with Attitude

(Everytime I tried to make a pun on the title it came out sounding like the title of a porn movie. Starting a film with the word “young” is just bad news. Anyway, weird poster. Spacing is weird, the color scheme is kinda weird, and a bunch of the actors look kinda weird. The font is OK, though. C-.)

Tagline(s) – The West just got wilder. (C)

(Even wilder than the first! I can’t believe it. If the point is just to get people into the seats without talking their ear off, then this is serviceable. But not much better than that.)

Keyword – cowboy

Top 10: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood (2019), Tombstone (1993), Brokeback Mountain (2005), No Country for Old Men (2007), News of the World (2020), The Outsiders (1983), The Big Lebowski (1998), Boogie Nights (1997), The Hateful Eight (2015), Dances with Wolves (1990)

Future BMT: 47.1 Serving Sara (2002), 46.2 Smokey and the Bandit Ride Again (1980), 45.7 Bad Girls (1994), 35.5 Playmobil: The Movie (2019), 33.9 Hoot (2006), 31.9 Armed and Dangerous (1986), 31.5 Lightning Jack (1994), 30.9 All the Pretty Horses (2000), 30.7 A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014), 29.1 Hope Floats (1998);

BMT: The Lone Ranger (2013), Ghost Rider (2007), Wild Wild West (1999), Jonah Hex (2010), Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory (1990), Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

(Interestings hardly any of the future BMT choices are traditional Westerns like this one. Bad Girls might genuinely be the only one, with A Million Ways to Die in the West being a comedic version of it. Interesting resurgences in the 00s, but the genre does seem to be fairly small potatoes at this point despite still having prestige.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Lou Diamond Phillips is No. 3 billed in Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory and No. 11 billed in Hollywood Homicide, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => 3 + 11 + 2 + 3 = 19. If we were to watch Eye for an Eye we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The scene where Arkansas Dave Rudabaugh (Christian Slater) puts a knife through Chavez’ arm was added due to Lou Diamond Phillips’ breaking his arm during filming.

Emilio Estevez (Billy) originally approached Jon Bon Jovi to ask him for permission to include the song “Wanted Dead Or Alive” on the soundtrack. Bon Jovi didn’t feel the songs lyrics were appropriate; however, he was inspired by the project and resolved to write a new song for the film that would be more in keeping with the period and setting. He quickly wrote the song “Blaze of Glory”, and performed it on acoustic guitar in the New Mexico desert for Estevez and John Fusco.

Lou Diamond Phillips (Chavez) was dragged by a spooked horse when filming a new scene. He broke his arm and a kneecap. The horse was spooked when Emilio Estevez (Billy) fired a gun and threw Lou off. The horse then ran, dragging Lou by the noose around Lou’s neck and tied to the saddle horn. The scene was never re-filmed. Lou talks about this incident on Celebrity Close Calls (2010).

There were only three witnesses to the alleged killing of Billy the Kid by Pat Garrett: Garrett himself and Deputies John W. Poe (Viggo Mortensen) and Thomas McKinney. While McKinney claimed to slightly know the Kid, Poe had never previously laid eyes on him. Within moments after the shooting, Poe told Garrett he had “shot the wrong man”. Since it was too dark in the room for a visual identification, Garrett claimed he knew it was the Kid by his voice, even though all present had only heard whispers. Ultimately both Poe and McKinney agreed with Garrett, but McKinney recanted years later and claimed, like Poe before him, that Garrett had killed someone else.

The Mexican Blackbird, the biracial prostitute that Billy talks about, is a ZZ Top song from 1975.

Although the movie depicts Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid as close friends who were at one time partners in crime this is a considerable stretching of the truth. In reality their association was much more casual in nature stemming from their mutual patronage of Beaver Smith’s saloon in Fort Sumner where they were both avid players of the card game Casino. They had a cordial acquaintance with one another but were never close friends, nor did they ever ride together as outlaws.

On New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson’s last day in office, he discounted any and all claims of “Brushy” Bill Roberts claim to be Billy the Kid.

This is the second western movie for which Alan Silvestri composed music in 1990. The first was Back to the Future Part III (1990).

The real Jose Chavez Y Chavez also survived the Lincoln County wars, dying peacefully in 1923.

The real Josiah Gordon “Doc” Scurlock did not die during the Lincoln County Wars. He passed away in 1929 of old age, having spent much of his life trying to disassociate himself with his past.

Before the end credits roll post scripts are given for Dave Raudabaugh, Pat Garrett and Brushy Bill however, none are given for Doc or Chavez – this is because both survived beyond the scope of this film.

Awards – Nominee for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Jon Bon Jovi, 1991)

Problem Child 2 Recap

Jamie

Junior is back, Jack! And boy is he still a problem. After moving with his dad, Ben, to the divorce capital of the world, Junior is distressed to find his daddio is the object of affection for the villainess Lawanda. Teaming up with frenemy (and fellow problem child) Trixie, can Junior stop the potential wedding between Ben and Lawanda before it’s too late? Find out in… Problem Child 2.

How?! Junior and his dad, Ben, just need a change of scenery. Enter the Divorcee Capital of the US (Orlando?) where Ben is not just in demand, but literally an indescribable hunk. To make matters worse his grandpa shows up having lost everything in a bum business deal and is super lame. Junior is not happy about this unlikely turn of events and begins to act out again. He ruins a lemonade stand, he blows up a barbeque, and hypnotizes Grandpa’s dog, etc. etc. etc. As each of his dad’s hot dates show up, Junior finds creative, and often dangerous, ways to get them out of the picture. Little does he know that a storm is a-brewin’ in the form of the local bank owner. Oft-married (and oft-divorced) Lawanda has her eyes on the prize that is Ben Healy and will destroy all in her path to get him. Turns out Ben likes being waited on hand and foot by a rich, beautiful lady, and they get engaged. Even Grandpa is thrilled with the potential financial windfall that is heading the family’s way. Despondent, Junior finds a kindred spirit in another problem child, Trixie, and is excited to find that her mom is pretty dope and should probably be with his dad instead. They team up to ruin the wedding in a variety of ways. When this doesn’t work they instead just roll a giant boulder down the aisle and squash Lawanda, but not before she reveals her true colors to Ben. Ben is like “phew, thank god I didn’t marry that lady before a boulder squashed her,” and instead smooches Trixie’s mom. Then, realizing an opening when he sees one, Grandpa swoops in and starts smooching Lawanda. Finally (and this is real, so prepare yourselves), Trixie and Junior light a firecracker, shoot it into the wedding cake, it proceeds to fly up into the air and land on Grandpa and Lawanda, who then are shocked to find that Grandpa’s dog has made a giant poop. THE END. 

Why?! That sweet cash, baaabbbbbyyyy. This sequel has no purpose other than to make money for everyone involved with no regard for human life or decency. I guess Ben Healy wants to get married again so that Junior has a mom, but Junior just wants fun dad time with the World’s Best Dad. In the end they split the difference and seemingly live happily ever after.

Who?! Twin film alert! There are not one, but two sets of twins in the film. Junior has a set of twins as neighbors named Dolly and Madison, which appears to be a joke on the Hostess brand of food. Either than or a joke about the First Lady of the US. There is also a brief commercial shown where Grandpa is in a hot tub with twins. Those actresses actually have appeared in a number of BMT qualifying films so look forward to seeing them again.

What?! I think the obvious winner here is the Love Rock, which is like a meteorite or something that crashed near the town and has a heart shaped, red-colored indentation on it. People make wishes on it. Unfortunately this is not a prop I’m seeing for sale, nor did they decide to make it a permanent fixture in Orlando, so presumably it was destroyed. I would have never let that happen.

Where?! It’s odd to encounter these films that have very clear settings sprinkled throughout the internet that are impossible to identify in the actual films. In this case, Problem Child 2 is apparently set in Oregon… that would be mystifying to anyone that actually watches the movie. It’s clearly shot in Orlando and Patrick astutely pointed me to some places (e.g. a phone book) where this is confirmed… so isn’t this set in Orlando? Usually when this happens it’s because in an interview the creators said it was set in Oregon, or the script sets it in Oregon, or someone one time thought it was set in Oregon, or a slight chance it’s actually set in Oregon and we missed it. But I don’t think so. I think this is set in Orlando. C-.

When?! I don’t recall seeing a specific time for the film, but it appears to be set right at the beginning of school. At least when Junior shows up at school and is skipped a few grades he ends up in class where the teacher is going around the classroom finding out what level everyone is operating at as if it’s just off of summer vacation. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it. C+.

Oooooooooooof. This is dog poo in my face. In fact it’s the giant dog poo at the end of the film right in my face. It is bizarre to an extreme degree, which at times can be fun. Like the carnival scene which descends into an absurd amount of puke flying around the screen on par with an SNL sketch. Otherwise, they destroyed every single spark of charm that remained from the first one and the actor playing Junior regressed to near unwatchability (presumably due to a combination of a bad script and a poorly chosen director). Add in a good dose of toilet humor and this is just no fun and somehow, despite dropping the problematic aspects of the first film, feels way more gross and unpleasant. You can really just watch the very end of the film (described above) to get the full picture of what this terrible, terrible film is all about. I honestly wonder how John Ritter got through it. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Problem Child was the surprise smash hit comedy sensation of 1990. Run it back!!!!! We’re going again. Let’s go!

P’s View on the Preview – I’m 90% sure we owned Problem Child on VHS when we were growing up. Problem Child 2 on the other hand … I think I just saw it several times when it was on cable. I’ve definitely seen it that way, because I also know that they cut out the two scenes involving comically large piles of dog shit. What were my expectations? Well I was hoping for it to be a surrealist delight like the first film. I fully expected it to be an unfunny surrealist nightmare though. I didn’t even like this film as a kid I don’t think.

The Good – Not much. I think the acting is still pretty solid given all the material they are working with. On occasion you get whiffs of the same charming weirdness from the first film (the scene with the animal control officers is amusingly odd for example). The film is worse in every respect compared to its predecessor though so it is difficult to point to anything as actually good with that comparison available. Best Bit: John Ritter.

The Bad – The film is grotesque in precisely the way that critics slammed the first one for (incorrectly I think). There is literally people drinking piss, the aforementioned giant piles of dog shit, a scene with so much vomit that the joke is merely the sheer volume of vomit in the scene, medical mutilation, and animal cruelty. The film is aggressively unfunny, so much so that it mostly ruins the scant charm of the lead child actor in the process. And obviously, when asking for a sequel, it was necessary to revert all character growth as well which is a shame. The whole thing feels like exactly what the film critics thought the first Problem Child was, when in fact they hadn’t seen anything yet. Fatal Flaw: Grotesque body humor.

The BMT – A marvel of our childhood at the very least, I’m quite glad I finally got to see these films back-to-back. They compliment each other very well. The first is a somewhat misunderstood not-really-kids’ movie. The second is the monstrosity that happens when you mix that formula with a cynical cash grab. They are beautiful in a way. Did it meet my expectations? Yeah, although I wish the second film was less gross. I would never dare to watch the film again just because it is just so gross to watch. No so with the first.

Roast-radamus – Maybe our first Twin Film (Who?) of the year for the neighbor twin girls that Junior antagonizes. Some decent Product Placement (What?) for things like Uhaul throughout. And a minor Setting as a Character (Where?) for Florida as the phonebook prominently suggests that they are, in fact, in the Orlando area. Wait a second, is that why there are so many divorcees and cougars around? I just got that. Closest to Bad I think.

Sequel, Prequel, Remake – Since we are going to ignore the direct-to-video third film, let’s go with a Sequel. Junior is all grown up, thirty, and divorced. He worked for his ex-wife’s father so obviously his insurance career is in shambles as well. Adrift he is moping around when who shows up? His step-grandmother Lawanda, with his 9-year-old uncle Ben in tow. It turns out his grandfather, now 90, had left Lawanda for a younger woman and with the kid. Well, like nephew-like-uncle I suppose, because the kid is a nightmare! He terrorizes the neighborhood, wreaking havoc on Junior’s life as he tries to win his wife back. Through Ben, Junior meets a well meaning teacher at the local elementary school and they hit it off. Vengeance on his father-in-law is had, lessons are learned, and Junior and Ben decide to have a go at being a family with Junior officially adopting Ben from Lawanda. Problem Child Generations. Exclusively released to local libraries on VHS.

You Just Got Schooled – I was thinking I would skip this part, but what the hey, I decided to watch The Bad Seed (1956) which the writers of Problem Child claimed the film was vaguely based on (but as a comedy). It is hard to assess old films, this one in particular is two hours, but in reality is a neat 90-minute film where they decided to tell-not-show a bunch of stuff that would have been left unsaid in a a film made in the 80s or 90s. The film is a weird inspiration because the child is the polar opposite of Junior. In The Bad Seed Rhoda is an 8-year-old girl who has a severe temper, appears older and wiser than her age, and is a compulsive liar. A textbook sociopath (given the definition at the time I assume). Junior on the other hand delights in telling you that not only did he do the things he’s accused of, he laughs uncontrollable about it and would do it again with glee. Junior I think would be considered precocious more than anything else. Rhoda is a monster. I liked the movie, but it is slow going, and you’ll get the idea they are going after about 2/3rds of the way through. B, a solid 50s “horror” film in the end.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs