cycle: wisdom of the crowd – Page 2

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III Preview

Jamie and Patrick look over the bustling BMF HQ. With the help of Scott Bakula’s international name recognition they’re back and better than ever. Kyle comes up and hands them the latest article for the site: Yes We Manne-Can, The Best Mannequin Films of 2015-2025. It’s brilliant. “I’m just glad I can help out, considering that it was not long ago that I was running BMT and you were trying to figure out how to be good.” Jamie and Patrick laugh a little. “And to think,” Jamie says softly with a smirk, “it was here all along. Family is good.” They triple bro hug. Everything has been coming up Jamie and Patrick since they kicked Kevin James’ head clean off. “Patrick?” Jamie says thoughtfully, “do you ever wish we hadn’t kicked Kevin James’ head clean off?” You can see Patrick turn the question over in his head. A moment of clarity crosses his face as it finally dawns on him exactly what they did that fateful day. He opens his mouth, struggling to express the myriad of emotions he is feeling, “No. No I don’t.” Kyle and Jamie exhale in relief. They triple bro hug again and the whole company erupts in cheers at the beautiful expression of family love, which represents the majesty of Bad Movie Family. They cheers with cans of Bud Light. As Patrick takes a deep draught he is left with a glowing green beer-stache. “Woah, what’s that?” Kyle says and grabs at Patrick’s can. It’s filled with a thick green liquid. “Oh, yeah, it’s just a little thing I invented. I call it Ooze.” Kyle takes a drink and his eyes go wide. “It’s like Mountain Dew flavored Bud Light. It’s… amazing. What’s the secret?” Patrick eyes Jamie. Is he thinking what he’s thinking? That’s right! We are getting a blast from the past with the original Justice League, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Both The Secret of the Ooze and Turtles in Time qualify, but you better believe I’ll also be watching the original. TMNT4Life! Let’s go!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993) – BMeTric: 67.7; Notability: 46

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 9.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 12.6%; Higher BMeT: Super Mario Bros., RoboCop 3, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday, Look Who’s Talking Now; Higher Notability: Last Action Hero, Hocus Pocus, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, The Meteor Man, Coneheads, RoboCop 3, We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story, Rising Sun, The Three Musketeers, Life with Mikey, Son of the Pink Panther, Loaded Weapon 1, Super Mario Bros., Indecent Proposal, Once Upon a Forest, Made in America, Look Who’s Talking Now, Sliver, Josh and S.A.M., Dennis the Menace, and 4 more; Lower RT: Look Who’s Talking Now, Deadfall, Warlock: The Armageddon, Golden Gate, Son of the Pink Panther, RoboCop 3, Mr. Nanny, Hexed, Weekend at Bernie’s II, Ghost in the Machine, Best of the Best II, Father Hood, Carnosaur, Surf Ninjas, Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, My Boyfriend’s Back, Only the Strong, Cop & ½, Sliver, Gunmen, and 10 more; Notes: In my child brain from 1993 I always had the impression that this was like … not released to theaters. But really, I was just too young at the time to go to theaters. Incredibly this played 56 times on television. Last Action Hero: 110. Hocus Pocus: 60. Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit: 38. Given that Hocus Pocus was on constantly (albeit once a year mostly) this must have been huuuuuge.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – The guys bolt the sewer for feudal Japan to help rebel villagers conquer an evil lord. Seven Samurai it ain’t (nor Russ Meyer’s The Seven Minutes either), but those who still care will find a more mellowed-out Turtles saga, complete with lecture by Raphael on the dangers of violence. Like totally Woodstock, dude!

(The ending line is something else. I do find it interesting that Ebert gave the prior installment 1 star, and Maltin gave that one 1.5 as well. So he genuinely seems to find the third to be better than the second, counter to the rest of the critical reception.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2dNvVdz3js/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2dNvVdz3js/

(What a goddamn needle drop after like 20 seconds of dancing around the fact that this is a TMNT film. Demented that they went for the time travel storyline in the third film though. Didn’t even get to do Krang.)

Directors – Stuart Gillard – ( Known For: Kart Racer; A Man Called Sarge; Future BMT: Paradise; RocketMan; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for the Sonny and Cher Show in 1976. He’s a pretty huge producer for television these days, most recently for So Help Me Todd.)

Writers – Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird – ( Known For: The Lego Movie; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie; Heavy Metal 2000; Future BMT: TMNT; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Notes: By all accounts this story is pretty much ripped from the pages of an actual TMNT comic, so them getting credits is more that sensical.)

Stuart Gillard – ( Known For: If You Could See What I Hear; Spring Fever; A Man Called Sarge; Future BMT: Paradise; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Notes: This basically ended his writing career? He wrote Mega Piranha a little after. A Man Called Sarge? 500 votes on IMDb, and played 24 times in the 90s.)

Actors – Elias Koteas – ( Known For: Shooter; Shutter Island; Zodiac; Now You See Me; The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; The Thin Red Line; Crash; My Days of Mercy; Gattaca; Fallen; Let Me In; Some Kind of Wonderful; The Last Days on Mars; Apt Pupil; Exotica; The Greatest Game Ever Played; The Prophecy; The Killer Inside Me; She’s Having a Baby; Future BMT: The Fourth Kind; Collateral Damage; Dream House; Skinwalkers; Look Who’s Talking Too; Desperate Hours; Almost an Angel; Lost Souls; BMT: The Haunting in Connecticut; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Devil’s Knot; Notes: Became a pretty big TV star in the 2000s. 100 episodes of Chicago P.D. Was on the somewhat resurgent fourth season of The Killing. Character actor throughout the 90s.)

Paige Turco – ( Known For: Invincible; Books of Blood; Urbania; The Pompatus of Love; Rhinoceros Eyes; The Favor; Dead Funny; Future BMT: The Stepfather; BMT: The Game Plan; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Notes: Was originally a dancer until an injury ended the possibility of that being a career. Got this part because the previous April O’Neil basically quit.)

Stuart Wilson – ( Known For: The Rock; Hot Fuzz; Vertical Limit; Enemy of the State; The Mask of Zorro; The Age of Innocence; Grindhouse; Lethal Weapon 3; No Escape; Death and the Maiden; Fascination; Unstoppable; Wetherby; Dulcima; The Luzhin Defence; The Prisoner of Zenda; Perfect Creature; Edie & Pen; Fool’s Mate; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Exit to Eden; Here on Earth; Notes: Was a big British theater actor in the 70s and 80s. Then started getting parts in British television in the 80s. And then because a villain (basically) in 90s in films like Lethal Weapon 3.)

Budget/Gross – $21,000,000 / Domestic: $42,273,609 (Worldwide: $42,273,609)

(Yeah that is basically a wash for a film like this back in the day. It would have been banking on home video to give them the real bang for their buck. But they ended up converting the fourth film to television, which also makes sense.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (6/32): It’s a case of one sequel too many for the heroes in a half shell, with a tired time-travel plot gimmick failing to save the franchise from rapidly diminishing returns.

(Yeah, the time travel bit I remember not being impressed with, even as a seven year old. Very tired, and a fairly obvious ploy to get kids to buy different toys with different costumes.)

NY Times Short Review: Fighting Samurai dynasties. Less violent, more scenic.

Poster – TMNT III: Turtle Time Through Time

(No one can seriously come in here and tell you that this isn’t a very cool poster. It’s so cool that I wondered “who made this?” and when I found out it was Morgan Weistling I thought “wait, haven’t I talked about him before?” The answer is yes. I talked about him while raving about the Police Academy posters. A.)

Tagline(s) – Ancient Japan, 1593. Without a map. Without a clue. Without a pizza. (B-)

(Give me dat year. Right on the poster. Nice. It’s a little long, but once you get past the setting you get a nice Rule of Three and it’s fun in a slightly nonsensical way.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.6 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.7 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.7 The Grudge 2 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Marmaduke (2010), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), … (and many more)

Best Options (daddio): 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 46.3 Daddy Day Care (2003)

(There is it. It is pretty funny how few options we had. Although I did learn that I didn’t include films nominated for an actor’s performance (like Whoopi Goldberg for Eddie, so there was probably actually tons of options).)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Stuart Wilson is No. 3 billed in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III and No. 9 billed in Here on Earth, => (3 + 9) = 12. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Starting in this film, All Effects Company took over and worked on the animatronic effects for the turtles and Splinter costumes. Jim Henson’s Creature Shop was the company who worked on the mutant creatures in the previous two movies.

Producers invited Corey Feldman to reprise his role from the first film as Donatello. The filmmakers told Corey they felt bad about not casting him for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991). However, when Corey asked for more money than the $1500 he was paid on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), Corey was told, “yeah, but you were in rehab.” Corey was denied the raise, and was again paid only $1500.

This film was originally going to be followed by a fourth installment in the franchise, “TMNT: The Next Mutation.” In this concept, the Ooze that transformed the Turtles and Splinter was still in their bodies, causing a much more drastic second mutation. Another plan that was discussed was to add a fifth turtle named Kirby (named after comic artist Jack Kirby). However, the project got stuck in development and plans for a fourth theatrical live action movie fell apart. The concept of having the Turtles mutate into creatures did see the light of day in the ‘New Mutation’ saga of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) cartoon. Later, the live action “Next Mutation” installment moved to television in a live-action series produced by Saban, titled Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation (1997). This series delivered on the promise of a fifth turtle, but changed it to a female turtle named Venus De Milo.

Mark Caso (The performer inside the Leonardo costume), is the only cast to return from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991). Brian Tochi (The voice of Leonardo) and Robbie Rist (The voice of Michaelangelo) are the only actors who appeared in all three movies in the trilogy. Corey Feldman who appeared in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) makes his return as the voice of Donatello.

The concept for this movie is loosely based on a story called “Masks” from issues #46 and #47 of the original Mirage comics. The story features the Turtles and Renet traveling back to Feudal Japan to fight an evil shogun and engage in samurai battles.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze Preview

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991) – BMeTric: 32.3; Notability: 52

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 9.2%; Notability: top 2.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 25.8%; Higher BMeT: Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, Cool as Ice, Critters 3, Problem Child 2, Child’s Play 3, Suburban Commando, Nothing But Trouble, Return to the Blue Lagoon, Mannequin: On the Move, Kickboxer 2: The Road Back, Zandalee, King Ralph, Double Impact, Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time, Hudson Hawk, V.I. Warshawski, The Butcher’s Wife, House Party 2, Curly Sue, Ernest Scared Stupid, and 3 more; Higher Notability: Hook, Hudson Hawk, Mobsters, Flight of the Intruder, Switch, Rock-A-Doodle, Life Stinks; Lower RT: Return to the Blue Lagoon, Critters 3, The Super, Run, Cool as Ice, Another You, All I Want for Christmas, Problem Child 2, Mobsters, The Marrying Man, Strictly Business, Drop Dead Fred, Oscar, Nothing But Trouble, The Hitman, Mannequin: On the Move, Curly Sue, One Good Cop, Suburban Commando, Pure Luck, and 41 more; Notes: We are going to get to Hook, I promise you that. I have no idea what Mobsters is … played 14 times in the 90s. This played 45 times which is pretty decent. Rock-a-Doodle played a gaudy 56 times. Gives you an idea of that metric.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – I bent over backwards to be fair to the first movie about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was, I wrote, “probably the best possible Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie.” Now we have the sequel, subtitled “The Secret of the Ooze.” I may not get what I want, but I get what I deserve. … I liked the older superheroes better. The ones that stood out from a crowd, had their own opinions, were not afraid of ridicule, and symbolized a future of truth and justice. Spiderman and Superman represented democratic values. Today’s kids are learning from the Turtles that the world is a sinkhole of radioactive waste, that it’s more reassuring to huddle together in sewers than take your chances competing at street level, and that individuality is dangerous. Cowabunga.

(Haha, so righteous Ebert. Here’s the thing. TMNT was rad. Like the coolest shit in the world when I was what? Six years old. I had a birthday party at the candlepin bowling alley and got basically all of the toys. Wait … is that enough information to pinpoint my identity.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al9jfY7zOBY/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al9jfY7zOBY/

(My god, this what … TV spot? The sound effects are off the chain. Them being clearly very resistant to showing the bad mutants is kind of charming. And yes, off course the Ninja Rap has to take center stage,)

Directors – Michael Pressman – ( Known For: The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training; The Great Texas Dynamite Chase; Some Kind of Hero; Boulevard Nights; Those Lips, Those Eyes; Frankie and Johnny Are Married; Future BMT: Doctor Detroit; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Notes: )

Writers – Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird – ( Known For: The Lego Movie; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie; Heavy Metal 2000; Future BMT: TMNT; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Notes: Clearly the TMNT comic book creators. Was a play off of Daredevil originally all the way down to their enemies being The Foot (instead of The Hand) and their master being Splinter instead of Stick. Both heroes were created from the same ooze spill in the comics as well.)

Todd W. Langen – (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Notes: Was a writer on the Wonder Years, and then wrote both of these films.)

Actors – Paige Turco – ( Known For: Invincible; Books of Blood; Urbania; The Pompatus of Love; Rhinoceros Eyes; The Favor; Dead Funny; Future BMT: The Stepfather; BMT: The Game Plan; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III; Notes: Was in 85 episodes of The 100 recently. She plays April, which is, indeed, the main character who actually is physically on screen at any point.)

David Warner – ( Known For: Titanic; Scream 2; The Man with Two Brains; Planet of the Apes; Tron; Mary Poppins Returns; The Omen; Time Bandits; In the Mouth of Madness; Straw Dogs; Black Death; Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country; Mortal Passions; Time After Time; Tom Jones; The French Lieutenant’s Woman; The Company of Wolves; Cross of Iron; The Concorde… Airport ’79; Necronomicon: Book of Dead; Future BMT: Money Talks; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Star Trek V: The Final Frontier; Wing Commander; Notes: Was nominated for two Emmys in late-70s/early-80s and won for Masada in 1981. He plays the scientist in this who creates the ooze. I hope he had a ball.)

Michelan Sisti – ( Known For: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; The Muppets; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Notes: Here is the only actual turtle to get into the top three credits. He plays Mikey. But like … in the suit, not the voice, which is hilarious. That was Robbie Rist.)

Budget/Gross – $25,000,000 / Domestic: $78,656,813 (Worldwide: $78,656,813)

(Absolutely solid. No wonder they thought “we need to take this on tour” and then make a few more movies, and make a tv show, etc. etc. etc. And now a new movie is coming out. I hope it is good.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (15/43): Not only is the movie’s juvenile dialogue unbearable for adults, but the turtles’ dopey and casual attitude towards physical violence makes them poor kids’ role models.

(Boooooooo. I don’t need this moralizing from my reviewers. Kids. Thought. This. Was. Rad. The end.)

NY Times Short Review: Now they meet Shredder’s new mutant monsters.

Poster – TMNT II: Check out Dis Ooze

(I enjoy a lot about this poster. Shadows are cool. Colors are bright. Could do with better font, but it looks like a painting, which is cool. Just one question… what is Michelangelo holding in his hands? Are those his nunchucks? B for the poster, F for drawing nunchucks.)

Tagline(s) – Back by bodacious demand. (C+)

(Hell yeah. I mean, no it’s not good, but I appreciate the unironic effort to be totally dope.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Best Options (daddio): 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 46.3 Daddy Day Care (2003)

(So yeah, this is a bonus. Only the third one played on September 1st in the 90s. And obviously, because as I said, kids thought this was rad, it smashed the Kids’ Choice Awards.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Paige Turco is No. 1 billed in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze and No. 2 billed in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, which also stars Stuart Wilson (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 9 billed) => (1 + 2) + (3 + 9) = 15. If we were to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – In the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) film, the turtles facial expressions were cable operated with all the motors, servos etc housed in the shell. In this movie, thanks to a larger budget, the animatronics were much smaller and lighter and were built into the face itself.

Judith Hoag was not called in to reprise her role as April O’Neil after the director was unhappy when she derided the way they mistreated the stunt doubles and their unfair schedules changes. She stated at SuperCon Florida that she had no ill-will towards Paige Turco. Instead they met 17 years later and are now good friends. The directors found Paige Turco to resemble the character more, and found her chemistry with the Turtles to seem more sincere.

Ernie Reyes Jr. was Donatello’s fight double in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990). Producers liked Reyes so much, they created the role of Keno just for him to replace the ultra-violent Casey Jones.

The building used for the entrance to April’s apartment is the office to the New York location of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop.

Dedicated to the memory of Jim Henson.

Justice League Recap

Jamie

This whole cycle is about getting back to the people and a film like Justice League does just that. Not just because it was a multiple nominee at the 2018 Teen/Kids Choice Awards. No, it really should be commemorated more for being part of some of the best/worst crowd driven film content of the last few years. First there was the push to get the Snyder Cut released. This somehow succeeded and we got a much, much longer version of a terrible film that was… I guess a bit better? I never saw it. Then, on the heels of the Snyder Cut the Oscars decided “you know what? We should have a crowdsourced award to show that we are really down with the kids and super rad hepcats. There is nothing in the recent past that would suggest this is a terrible idea.” And this resulted in the funniest IMDb Awards entry in the history of film:

So I guess the question is, “did we stand up and cheer?” Or is that a Snyder Cut exclusive?

To recap, [Spoiler Alert] The Flash never enters the speed force. That’s a Snyder Cut exclusive. So settle into your couch and kick up your feet because you won’t be standing up and cheering anytime soon. Batman is assembling the Justice League. He can tell that things are about to get shitty and Superman is not around to help. He tracks down The Flash, Cyborg, Wonder Woman, and Aquaman and they range from “no thanks, let me dive into the water and swim away” to “I’m a monster and don’t deserve to be in the Justice League” to “Coooooool, I’m young and rad and you’re old man Batman. Cool.” But when Steppenwolf returns to Earth to assemble the [checks notes] Mother Boxes into the [check notes again] Unity and conquer Earth everyone is like “on second thought, maybe we should help out a bit.” Steppenwolf gets all but one Mother Box and they all agree to use the last one to resurrect Superman because it turns out they just aren’t going to cut it. Superman is resurrected but is like “WTF?” and flies away with Lois Lane because he’s having an existential crisis. Meanwhile Steppenwolf snags that last Mother Box and they all head to Russia for a big climactic fight. They try to fight Steppenwolf but are probably going to lose until Superman swoops in and saves the day. Thus the Justice League is born, Earth is at peace, and I’m sure Lex Luthor and some other team of supervillains aren’t just around the corner ready to fuck it all up. THE END.

I feel like the Snyder DC films went in two directions simultaneously. Man of Steel made me sad, but it looked very good. You could see all the work and money on the screen. As the DC universe geared up, though, everything started to get that blurred, video game look of CGI heavy films being churned out at warp speed, even as the purpose of the films became clearer. So Batman v. Superman starts to look like shit and is very confusing, but is more in Snyder’s wheelhouse. It’s got a style that I can at least appreciate and not scoff at. This one is laughably bad looking. I don’t even care about Superman’s weird CGI moustache-less face (OK, fine, I care a little). Nothing looks real at any point. It’s all a video game. But weirdly there is a coherence to the film, despite it being obvious that it was wrenched from Snyder’s hands. No wonder people thought there was a Snyder version that could be better. Even the studio cut felt like it knew what it was better than the other films. Ultimately all of them are bad, but bad in entirely different ways. Is that what people were standing up and cheering about?

Hot Take Clam Bake! Affleck is a good Batman. He’s old man Batman and I dig it. Bring him back for one of the Reeves films and flash back and forth between him and Patterson. Sure his body is like a slab of beef that Sly Stallone should be punching in preparation for a big fight. It’s oddly proportioned in a way that was used for great comedic effect in Air. That’s good. You think someone is working out day and night ready to fight criminals for 30 years and not getting a big ol’ side of beef body out of it? You’re kidding yourself. It’s good. He’s a good Batman. He’s perfectly sad and misproportioned like an old Batman should be. Hot Take Temperature: The steaming tunnels of Gotham’s underground lairs.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Justice League? Well, it might have been better if Justice stays blind, youknowwhatImean? Let’s go!

Lesson learned: remember when everyone was sad because Batman vs Superman had the color palette of a murky swamp? Well guess what? We had Joss Whedon shoot like two scenes in color that looked pretty good actually. (Don’t worry Zach Snyder, we’ll give you $100 million more dollars to shoot a 4 hour version in your preferred color palette: literally black and white).

Lesson learned: remember when everyone was sad because DC was filled with humorless sad sacks moping about because literal superheroes and borderline gods couldn’t stop the world from non-stop terrorist/alien attacks and people were forced to live in what appears to be a war zone called Gotham? Well, good news. We had Joss Whedon write some dialogue for The Flash about brunch … that should about cover that I think.

Lesson learned: remember when everyone was sad because DC just kept on rehashing Batman and Superman and Superman and Batman and there were so many good villains, but they were just like Zod and Lex Luthor again? Good news. We have some blob of CGI we called Steppenwolf, and this person you’ve never heard of Cyborg, and the character everyone made fun of for only having the power to talk to fish. Also the aforementioned Flash whose superpower is being scared to go fast I think.

That was fun. The movie was not. But I’m glad I got to this point in the DC universe finally because they are about to do Aquaman where everyone will squint and go “mayyyyyybe” and then they’ll reel off like 5 box office bombs in a row and end up (somehow) figuring out the only way to make money is to make Indie films only tangentially about Batman (and sometimes about Batman).

There is a bunch of Product Placement (What?) in this, maybe most notably being the unmistakably huge Mercedes-Benz logo on Batman’s wing-door car. Giant MacGuffin (Why?) for the Mother Boxes which literally does like anything you want including resurrecting Superman (Batman is pretty sure about that). This movie is closest to Bad, too long to be entertainingly bad, and it certainly isn’t good.

Read about my version of Batman Beyond in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Justice League Quiz

Oh boy, so here’s the thing. I’m like … the batman? I dress up like a bat and I fight crime? I pose these as questions because I don’t remember, in my decades of crime fighting I’ve sustained hundreds of concussions, and I think I might actually be a bat? Am I? Anyways, do you remember what happened in Justice League?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) We open with Batman catching baddies and taking names. But he has an ulterior motive for catching the cat burglar on the roof. What is it?

2) Well guess what? We got a new baddie. I will give you $100 (not a real prize, I owe you no money) if you can tell me his name and what he’s after.

3) Well, screw him then! We got our own Aveng … er, Justice League. Name them all, I dare you!

4) Shoot, turns out Justice hasn’t risen yet because none of these jabronis are strong enough to raise up Justice high enough to beat Steppenwolf. Fudge. How do they plan on getting Clark Kent back in action?

5) Oh shit, Justice has risen! I guess. A swear to god, if you can name the other bad guy that Lex Luthor recruits to make the anti-Justice League I’ll give you $100 dollars. I’m not joking … actually I am, I still owe you no money.

Bonus Question: Well that was a downer. Flash forward to a rebuilt Wayne Manor when we hear a knock at his door. Who answers, and who is it?

Answers

Justice League Preview

Jamie and Patrick boogie their way across the dance floor. The wedding was a smash hit. It was simulcast across every channel and used more energy than the country of Brazil. They cheers their beers and mack on some cake. Everything has come up Movie Twins since they kicked Kevin James’ head clean off. “I’m so proud of you,” Patrick says, remembering his own wedding back when things were simpler. When he didn’t have six children. When he hadn’t kicked a man’s head clean off. “I’m proud of me, too,” Jamie responds, tears in his eyes, remembering his own salad days filled with carefree innocence and demon boxes. “If only…” they say at the same time. Embarrassed, Patrick tells Jamie that he should go first. “No, no,” Jamie insists, “please, I interrupted you.” This goes on for hours. It’s charming. Finally they agree that they’ll both say it at the same time. One. Two. Three. “If only Dad were here,” they say and smile. Twins! “Maybe I am,” they whirl around and are shocked to see Scott Bakula. “Bakula the Snackula! My man!” Jamie says, giving Scott Bakula a big hug. “I really appreciate it, but we were kind of thinking of our real Dad.” Jamie smiles a bit sadly, but Scott Bakula puts a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe I am,” he says, tears streaming down his face, splashing on the genetic test report he has held in his hand that definitively determines that he is their father. The crowd goes wild. “I’d like to make a toast!” Scott Bakula declares. “To my sons, to the Bad Movie Twins, and to the dream father and sons team!” With that he reveals a new website. No longer Bad Movie Twins, but rather Bad Movie… Family. “Dream Team,” they all whisper. That’s right! We are doing the not-so-original dream team film, Justice League. Like many of the DC films this was critically reviled. But was it hated because it was compared to The Avengers? Or was it hated because it was taking away from Zack Snyder and chopped to pieces? Or is it just junk? Time to find out. Let’s go!

Justice League (2017) – BMeTric: 31.1; Notability: 117

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.4%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 26.2%; Higher BMeT: The Emoji Movie, Death Note, Jeepers Creepers III, Fifty Shades Darker, Rings, The Bye Bye Man, Snatched, Day of the Dead: Bloodline, The Snowman, Transformers: The Last Knight, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, The Humanity Bureau, Leatherface, The Layover, Amityville: The Awakening, Flatliners, Wish Upon, Geostorm, The Circle, The Vault, and 26 more; Higher Notability: Transformers: The Last Knight; Lower RT: The Layover, Flatliners, Just Getting Started, Hangman, The Emoji Movie, The Snowman, Rings, Tulip Fever, American Renegades, Fifty Shades Darker, Day of the Dead: Bloodline, The Vanishing of Sidney Hall, The Mummy, The Dark Tower, The Circle, Transformers: The Last Knight, The Space Between Us, Jeepers Creepers III, Baywatch, Geostorm, and 43 more; Notes: 100+ notabilities are awesome. Even more absurd that The Last Night beat it. What the hell.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – It’s frustrating to see “Justice League” fail to get out of its own way, because whenever it does, it shrugs off the burdens of its famously troubled production and becomes special. An exact accounting of what went wrong is a matter for an investigative reporter, not a film reviewer, but one would assume that the filmmaking process wasn’t helped by the studio’s sudden, post-“Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice” demand that the story add humor and camaraderie. Ditto the March, 2017 death of director Zack Snyder’s daughter, which put Joss Whedon, who’d already been hired for rewrites, in charge of post-production (including the CGI erasure of a mustache that Cavill grew after he thought the shoot had wrapped—a dubious technical triumph that results in some weird-looking close-ups). The extent of Whedon’s involvement in this rescue operation is anybody’s guess. Regardless, the end product is coherent: funny but rarely glib, serious but unpretentious, and better than it had any right to be.

(Very funny that this reviews seems to like it. I guess it isn’t unlikely. 40% of critics liked it. I just would have had the impression that big critics would have hated it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXrgvNXfN7M/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXrgvNXfN7M/

(Kind of cool trailer I suppose. Besides the extremely muted colors. The terrible remix of a famous song. The “My man!” bit in the middle. The dumb looking bad guys and too-high-stakes CGI-fest. … Besides all that it looks cool.)

Directors – Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Watchmen; Dawn of the Dead; Man of Steel; Army of the Dead; Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Sucker Punch; Notes: He is his own genre. Smashed it with 300, but I think the wheels have come off. He basically just plays the hits for his devoted fans at this point.)

Writers – Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Man of Steel; Superman; The Lego Batman Movie; Superman Returns; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Superman II; Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut; Reign of the Supermen; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Superman III; Superman IV: The Quest for Peace; Notes: These are going to be the comic book creators of Superman.)

Chris Terrio – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Argo; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Notes: Him writing Argo makes me think he’s Affleck’s guy. I think this guy probably actually wrote the film.)

Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Wonder Woman; Army of the Dead; 300: Rise of an Empire; Army of Thieves; BMT: Justice League; Sucker Punch; Notes: He really got the car keys for this guy. I’ll eventually watch his four hour Justice League cut. I can’t really imagine the point.)

Joss Whedon – ( Known For: The Avengers; Toy Story; Avengers: Age of Ultron; The Cabin in the Woods; Atlantis: The Lost Empire; Serenity; Alien: Resurrection; Titan A.E.; In Your Eyes; Much Ado About Nothing; Future BMT: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; BMT: Justice League; Notes: Famously came in to take over after Snyder had to leave the production. By all accounts he was a colossal dick on set and the stories that came out afterwards was instrumental in destroying his career. Good job.)

Gardner Fox and Bob Kane and Bill Finger – ( Known For: The Batman; The Dark Knight; Joker; The Dark Knight Rises; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Batman; Batman Begins; Batman Returns; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman: The Movie; Batman Ninja; Batman; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Batman and Robin; Scooby-Doo & Batman: The Brave and the Bold; Future BMT: Batman: The Killing Joke; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Batman & Robin; Batman Forever; Catwoman; Notes: And these are going to be the Batman guys. Fox doesn’t seem to get credit much, but here he is.)

William Moulton Marston – ( Known For: Shazam! Fury of the Gods; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Wonder Woman; Wonder Woman 1984; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Wonder Woman: Bloodlines; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Notes: Ah this would be the Wonder Woman guy. His story is nuts. He was in a polyamorous relationship and Wonder Woman is explicitly based on either his wife or the woman they were in a relationship with. Fun story.)

Jack Kirby – ( Known For: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Avengers: Endgame; Black Panther: Wakanda Forever; Avengers: Infinity War; Eternals; Iron Man; The Avengers; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Ant-Man; Thor; Black Panther; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Thor: Ragnarok; Captain Marvel; Captain America: Civil War; Iron Man Three; Iron Man 2; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; BMT: Justice League; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: Kirby is all over all comic books, both Marvel and DC.)

Actors – Ben Affleck – ( Known For: Air; Good Will Hunting; Dazed and Confused; Gone Girl; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Accountant; Deep Water; The Town; The Last Duel; Argo; Triple Frontier; Field of Dreams; Dogma; Clerks III; Daredevil; The Tender Bar; The Way Back; He’s Just Not That Into You; School Ties; Shakespeare in Love; Future BMT: Hypnotic; Smokin’ Aces; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Live by Night; 200 Cigarettes; Surviving Christmas; BMT: Suicide Squad; Justice League; Pearl Harbor; Armageddon; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Paycheck; Gigli; Runner Runner; Reindeer Games; Phantoms; Notes: He’s married to J-Lo now. He also won two Oscars, one for Good Will Hunting and the other as a producer for Argo. He’s had his ups and downs. I thought for a split second he might get an make-up Oscar nod for Air, but I think that is a long long shot.)

Gal Gadot – ( Known For: Fast X; Shazam! Fury of the Gods; Fast Five; Furious 6; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Death on the Nile; Red Notice; Wonder Woman; Knight and Day; Wonder Woman 1984; Ralph Breaks the Internet; Date Night; Between Two Ferns: The Movie; Triple 9; Kicking Out Shoshana; Future BMT: Criminal; BMT: Fast & Furious; Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Keeping Up with the Joneses; Notes: Famously a former Mossad agent in the Israeli army. In the few things I’ve seen her in she’s quite charming. Wonder Woman was good.)

Jason Momoa – ( Known For: Fast X; Dune; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Aquaman; Slumberland; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; The Bad Batch; Wolves; Sweet Girl; The Last Manhunt; Braven; Bullet to the Head; Once Upon a Time in Venice; Road to Paloma; Sugar Mountain; Debug; Future BMT: Johnson Family Vacation; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Conan the Barbarian; Notes: Former WWE wrestler, and maybe the most successful version of that at the moment now that The Rock’s career is … on the rocks. Kind of broke through with his relatively small role on Game of Thrones, and now he had supporting performances in things like Dune.)

Budget/Gross – $300 million / Domestic: $229,024,295 (Worldwide: $657,926,987)

(That is pretty terrible for what they wanted, and spoiler, it never got better. This year DC’s grand plans died and they are kind of back to the drawing board as to exactly what to do with their IP.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 39% (161/409): Justice League leaps over a number of DC movies, but its single bound isn’t enough to shed the murky aesthetic, thin characters, and chaotic action that continue to dog the franchise.

(Yeah it barely makes it haha. Murky aesthetic is otherwise known as that Snyder look.)

NY Times Short Review: In this superhero jamboree, the Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg sign on with the DC Comics team leaders Batman and Wonder Woman. (Psst … where’s Superman?)

Poster – Goodniks United

(I am a huge font proponent. Just look at my track record. Years and years of font promotion. I want font up the wazoo… but this… this is too far up the wazoo my friends. You have wandered too deep into the wazoo. This… this is no good. D.)

Tagline(s) – You can’t save the world alone. (C-)

(I don’t know where this tagline is from but at least it’s short. That’s all I got.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.7 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Little Man (2006), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Marmaduke (2010), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), … (and many more)

Best Options (suicide-squad): 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 62.2 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 53.9 Annie (2014), 51.7 Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2005), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 34.1 Shark Tale (2004), 32.3 Joe Dirt (2001), 31.1 Justice League (2017), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.0 War (2007), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018), 17.0 Saw II (2005), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015)

(Very borderline (Ezra Miller is in Suicide Squad for like five seconds), but it checks out. I just want to get through all the DC films you know?)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ben Affleck is No. 1 billed in Justice League and No. 1 billed in Pearl Harbor, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – When the film was shown in Iceland, which uses subtitles rather than dialog dubbing for films with non-Icelandic languages, Jason Momoa’s pronunciation of his single line of Icelandic was so unintelligible that it had to be subtitled into Icelandic (often resulting in audience laughter).

Director Zack Snyder and his wife, producer Deborah Snyder, stepped down from finishing the film after the suicide of their daughter in March 2017. They tried to remain involved in the film as a way to work through the difficulty, but after two months decided to step away from the project to spend time with their family. Joss Whedon, who had signed on for Batgirl, took over as director, managing additional scenes that need to be included in the final cut. Warner Bros. have stated that Joss would direct and write in the same style as Zack so there won’t be any tonal shifts or obvious changes in style. However, Whedon controversially fired Snyder’s composer, Tom Holkenborg, and replaced him with Danny Elfman, who previously composed Whedon’s Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015).

Extensive reshoots in London and Los Angeles in mid-2017 added a cost of approximately $25 million to the film’s budget. Henry Cavill worked on the reshoots and Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018) at the same time. He had to sport a moustache for his role in the latter project. However, Paramount refused to let the actor shave it off to play Superman in the reshoots. This meant that Cavill’s facial hair had to be digitally removed in post-production. However, due to a tight schedule, the results were crude and were among the many criticisms of the theatrical version of the film.

Holt McCallany, who plays the burglar in the first scene with Batman, said the scene was written and shot by Joss Whedon as comedic, but Warner Bros. preferred to open the film with a more serious tone, and the scene was re-edited. When McCallany returned home to New York, he found a bottle of his favorite champagne at his door and a note from Whedon that said, ‘To battles lost. Gratefully, Joss.’ McCallany appreciated Whedon’s gesture and had the letter framed.

Due to the running time backlash of past DC movies, Warner Bros. demanded a film under two hours without credits. While the final running time for Justice League (2017) was only 119 minutes, the director’s cut, Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021), stands at a whopping 242 minutes.

The Wedding Planner Recap

Jamie

I do enjoy going back and looking at The New York Times from the day when one of our BMT films was released. The Wedding Planner is a fun one because it’s January 26, 2001 and so there is a whole mess of Ravens-Giants Super Bowl content. But I wasn’t there for the Dilfer-Collins mildly entertaining milk advertisements:

I was there for The Wedding Planner and… meh. Just pretty much the poster and a couple choice quotes about how JLo has “it.” So per usual I went straight to the TV listings to see if any of the descriptions there were appropriate for the title at hand. Was The Wedding Planner “junk” like Night Shift? Was it “ornate and ridiculous” like Steel Dawn? A “crude morality play” like Any Given Sunday or “grindingly predictable” like The Crush? No, none of these. But the Jeff Fahey film Virtual Seduction probably gets the closest with “Trouble when man recalls fiance.” That about sums it up.

To recap, JLo is working hard (not hardly working) at planning the biggest and bestest weddings in San Fran. Working so hard, in fact, that she has no time for her own love life. That is until she’s saved by Matthew McConaughey, a handsome pediatrician who seems like a perfect catch. Just one problem: he’s engaged. Make that two problems: he’s engaged to her new client. So now she can’t lose the account or she loses her chance at a big promotion. Egad! What a series of unfortunate coincidences! Everywhere she looks McConaughey is being lame in a handsome kind of way. It also doesn’t help that at the same time her father set her up with Massimo, an Italian stereotype played by Justin Chambers in a horror show of a performance. Both McConaughey and his fiance have second thoughts, but JLo is too much of a pro to do anything but help them get to the altar. Even after McConaughey expresses his feelings for her, she’s like ‘no, I don’t even like you,’ and throws pebbles at him till he runs back to his fiance. Forlorn, she decides to marry the offensive, but also kind of sweet Massimo. On the day of the wedding, JLo forgoes the festivities to marry Massimo at Town Hall. McConaughey ends up calling off the wedding and is happy to find that JLo also decided at the last minute to stop her own wedding. They reunite and smooch for hours. THE END.

This is a tough one. On the one hand JLo is a shining beacon. So beautiful. So talented. She’s a catch. A perfect 10. I also found the film to be oddly well directed given that it was a first time director that went on to a less than illustrious career. But he seemed to have a clear idea of what he wanted to do with this and I thought he did it pretty well. On the other hand McConaughy appears to think he’s being charming in an aloof kind of way, but it comes across as smarmy and unpleasant. He’s a handsome guy who has a personality of a 2. Red flags on top of red flags. At this point the whole film would be a bit of a wash… maybe a slight positive even. But throw in Justin Chambers and, boy howdy. I like Grey’s Anatomy, so he will always be Karev to me. And thank goodness, because I’m sure he doesn’t want to be Massimo forever. Horrible. Just horrible.

Hot Take Clam Bake! The whole thing is a dream that happens after JLo is squashed by the dumpster. The last person she sees is handsome, lame McConaughey. In the last firing of her synapses we get The Wedding Planner. McConaughey is in reality a real estate agent who dabbles in day trading. He ultimately can’t reach her in time, but in a positive twist to the otherwise horrific tragedy this ends up helping him realize that his day trading is more of a hobby. He decides then and there to focus more on his real estate career, which is going OK since people seem to like him when he talks softly and smiles a bunch. Years later his wife, who he met at a local real estate convention, would catch him staring sadly at a dumpster and ask “you OK, babe?” and he would just say “yeah” softly and smile. Hot Take Temperature: Chilly, like the fog rolling off Frisco Bay.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! The Wedding Planner? Well this forecast calls for rain! Let’s go!

I just have to say this off the bat. And to be clear, I am a happily married man, wouldn’t trade any of this for the world but … was turn of the century Jennifer Lopez the most beautiful woman ever? It is mind boggling. Literally, completely perplexing that she existed. Is it because of the built up Jenny From the Block persona? Were we all tricked into thinking she was just a girl-next-door and not a devastatingly beautiful and completely unattainable woman? This is the second movie where it is almost distracting how beautiful she is (the other being Money Train).

I’m sorry but I just have to make this 100% clear. While watching this film Jennifer Lopez is so attractive I looked at Matthew McConaughey and thought “Yeah, she’s out of your league bud”. I looked at him and went “unattractive, hard pass” because my mind was tricked by what an attractive human being was. He’s also a genuine garbage man, so what does literally-so-attractive-J-Lo-that-she’s-an-11 see in him again? Awww he works with kids … for one second, and then he pretty much immediately turns around and starts to think about cheating on his fiancee. Trash man!

Just one last thing though, like … J-Lo is so hard working that she can’t find a date. Once again, movie, you are incorrect. The many billionaires of the Pacific Northwest would have left their fiancees during the wedding once they glimpsed J-Lo (their wedding planner) in real life. Their fiancees would have taken one look at her and said “no thank you, you aren’t getting within 100 miles of my wedding.” Mrs. Sampras, are you dumb?

I guess wait … do I have a hot take? Hot Take! Mrs. Sampras knew exactly what she was doing because Mrs. Sampras, either unconsciously or consciously, wanted to sabotage her own wedding! She’d been hunting around for the perfect wedge to drive between herself and McConaughey and finally found it in this siren, J-Lo.

Oh … I spent the whole time talking about how J-Lo is too attractive to be in romantic comedies since there is no one that can actually be viewed as equivalently attractive while standing next to her. The movie is pretty fun, for a romantic comedy, even if the wedding at the core is very messy and muddled and they never quite make it clear that the two people like each other at all.

I suppose one bone I’ll throw to them is that they did somewhat successfully save Sampras from Baxter-ization by having her break it off with McConaughey instead.

And that bone is taken away by Justin Chambers as Massimo, an Italian caricature who doesn’t belong in any movie, let alone this one.

Definite amazing Product Placement (What?) for M&Ms which play a prominent role in the courtship between J-Lo and McConaughey. Setting as a Character (Where?) for the somewhat inexplicable setting of San Francisco when L.A. would have made much much much more sense. And obvious Worst Twist (How?) for the ultimate get-together at the outdoor film screening at the art museum. Closest to Good I think, although I would hear arguments otherwise.

Read about the long awaited sequel in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

The Wedding Planner Quiz

Oh jeez. There I was in the street when my high heel got stuck in a grate (natch). And lo and behold a dumpster is coming towards me, I sure do hope a handsome lad can save me … nope, I just got completely owned by that dumpster. And now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Wedding Planner?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) In the beginning of the film we are introduced to our hero J-Lo. She is a wedding planner (shocking) and she needs to get her social life in order. Don’t worry, her elderly father is on the case. Who does he try and hook her up with and how does she know him?

2) What is Matthew McConaughey’s job?

3) At one point McConaughey explained how he met his fiancee. How?

4) In the end McConaughey obviously chooses J-Lo. Where does he go to meet her?

5) Why does McConaughey only eat the brown M&Ms?

Bonus Question: We got to plan J-Lo and McConaughey’s wedding. Where is it?

Answers

The Wedding Planner Preview

Jamie and Patrick sit in their cell. Having kicked Kevin James’ head clean off it’s not a surprise they were arrested, but they are still in a bit of shock. “Looks like you’ll be going to jail for a looong time. Hoooo weeeee,” the jailor at the Smith County Jail whistles in delight, “You kicked his head clean off. Boy oh boy, what I wouldn’t give to see that again.” Just as he begins to reminisce he hears a call from the other room. Turns out there was extensive footage from the event taken from cell phone cameras and security footage. It’s already been edited into a 30 minute short film available online and is an early front runner for Best Documentary Short. He rushes into the other room to relive the greatest moment of his life. Jamie and Patrick sigh. Just then the Smith County judge walks in. “Bad Movie Twins,” he scowls, “you kicked a man’s head clean off and I think you know that you deserve to be in jail for a looong time.” Everyone in the room nods. “In fact, if I had it my way,” he continues, “you’d get the ‘lectric chair.” Again, everyone kind of agrees. Kevin James was a national treasure. “But,” he unexpectedly continues, “there is a little known precedent set in fair use law that states that while parody is protected under the first amendment, kicking the head clean off of the person doing the parody is, in itself, a parody… and so it is protected under the law.” With that he frees Jamie and Patrick, much to the delight of the crowd. A female police officer rushes up to Jamie. “Marry me!” she screams and Jamie shrugs. Sure, why not? A celebrity wedding appears to be what the people want. That’s right! We are watching the JLo classic, The Wedding Planner. Who can even remember anyone else in it. JLo! Let’s go!

The Wedding Planner (2001) – BMeTric: 57.2; Notability: 47

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.0%; Notability: top 13.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.3%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Valentine, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Monkeybone, Hannibal, Impostor, Not Another Teen Movie, Ghosts of Mars, Bubble Boy, Scary Movie 2, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, The One, The Affair of the Necklace, Town & Country, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Don’t Say a Word, Texas Rangers, and 13 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Head Over Heels, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, Double Take, and 14 more; Notes: Aw hell yeah, it isn’t every day we can hit up a high profile early 2000s bad movie classic. And guess what? The Animal? It’s on the docket. Although that one I’ve seen … like 4 times. I saw it in theaters.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Jennifer Lopez looks soulfully into the eyes of Matthew McConaughey, but is he looking back? One of the many problems of “The Wedding Planner” is that we can’t tell and don’t much care. When a plot depends on two people falling in love when they absolutely should not, we have to be able to believe at some level that they have been swept up by a destiny beyond their control. McConaughey seems less inflamed by his sudden new romance than resigned to it.

(Hahahahahaha, hell yeah. That sounds hilarious. Like, a romcom where everyone kind of sucks?)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PN6Hx1sQA/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PN6Hx1sQA/

(They do a good job making them not seem like horrible people in a way. But man … J-Lo is distracting. Don’t worry, I get very deep into it in the recap. Some people would argue too deep. Way too deep.)

Directors – Adam Shankman – ( Known For: Hairspray; Disenchanted; Rock of Ages; What Men Want; Future BMT: Bedtime Stories; BMT: A Walk to Remember; The Pacifier; The Wedding Planner; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Bringing Down the House; Notes: He was nominated for two Emmys, both for organizing the 2010 Academy Awards ceremony.)

Writers – Pamela Falk – ( Known For: An Invisible Sign; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: Those are her only credits, and there isn’t any other info on her online.)

Michael Ellis – ( BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: The only other thing in either of their profiles is an untitled Falk/Ellis project, so I assume there are writing partners in some capacity.)

Actors – Jennifer Lopez – ( Known For: The Mother; Shotgun Wedding; Hustlers; The Cell; Marry Me; Home; Out of Sight; Parker; Selena; U Turn; Second Act; Jersey Girl; Antz; Shall We Dance; An Unfinished Life; My Family; Bordertown; Lila & Eve; Blood and Wine; El cantante; Future BMT: Enough; Maid in Manhattan; Monster-in-Law; Jack; Ice Age: Continental Drift; Ice Age: Collision Course; Angel Eyes; The Back-up Plan; Feel the Noise; BMT: The Boy Next Door; The Wedding Planner; Anaconda; Gigli; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Money Train; Notes: Man we have a ton to go. Nominated for an Emmy for the Superbowl Halftime show. Originally I wanted to do this film because I was convinced it was the subject of one really old episode of a podcast I missed … turned out that was Maid in Manhattan.)

Matthew McConaughey – ( Known For: Interstellar; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Gentlemen; Dazed and Confused; Sing 2; A Time to Kill; Tropic Thunder; Contact; Sing; Magic Mike; Dallas Buyers Club; How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; We Are Marshall; Mud; The Lincoln Lawyer; Frailty; Reign of Fire; White Boy Rick; Killer Joe; Amistad; Future BMT: Angels in the Outfield; The Dark Tower; Sahara; Two for the Money; Paparazzi; My Boyfriend’s Back; Larger Than Life; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Tiptoes; Fool’s Gold; Failure to Launch; Serenity; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; Notes: Won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club. Famously from Houston. At one point he was rumored to be running for governor of Texas in 2022, but he didn’t.)

Bridgette Wilson-Sampras – ( Known For: Billy Madison; Higher Learning; Nixon; Shopgirl; Buying the Cow; The Real Blonde; The Suburbans; Unhook the Stars; Phantom Punch; Nevada; Starstruck; Future BMT: Last Action Hero; House on Haunted Hill; Beautiful; Just Visiting; Love Stinks; BMT: Mortal Kombat; I Know What You Did Last Summer; The Wedding Planner; Extreme Ops; Notes: As you can tell by her name she married Pete Sampras, best tennis player of all time (or so we thought in like 2004 …). They have two children, the first of which should be out of college, and appears to be a model.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $60,400,856 (Worldwide: $94,728,529)

(That’s kind of okay. Not anything spectacular at the time, but fine for a romantic comedy I would think.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (18/106): Instead of being light and charming, this romantic comedy is heavy-handed and contrived in its execution. Also, it’s too unoriginal.

(I would think all romantic comedies are unoriginal in their own way. The most successful ones always seem to be remakes.)

Reviewer Highlight: Title character falls for handsome client. Star charisma almost makes it work.

Poster – xXx: The Wedding Xander

(Woof. And I mean, woof! That is everything bad in poster making. I usually refrain from saying this, because I’m an untalented fool. But… I could make a better poster for The Wedding Planner. F… I actually do think this is an F. It’s like a child made it.)

Tagline(s) – A romantic comedy about love, destiny and other events you just can’t plan for. (F)

(Is it done yet? Have they finished the tagline? Everything about that poster is a horror show.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), Zookeeper (2011), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Truth or Dare (2018), Jupiter Ascending (2015), Grown Ups 2 (2013), License to Wed (2007), The Wedding Planner (2001), Tom & Jerry (2021), Point Break (2015), After (2019), Batman Forever (1995), Congo (1995), House of Wax (2005), Down to You (2000), Bride Wars (2009), The Ring Two (2005), Killers (2010), The Tuxedo (2002), I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009), The Hustle (2019), Vampire Academy (2014), Bulletproof Monk (2003), Baywatch (2017), … (and many more)

Best Options (Romance): 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 61.9 Obsessed (2009), 57.5 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 57.2 The Wedding Planner (2001), 55.3 The Back-up Plan (2010), 54.8 Honey (2003), 53.1 Aloha (2015), 52.6 Just My Luck (2006), 52.1 Loser (2000), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 51.0 Little Fockers (2010), 49.9 Just Married (2003), 49.4 Monster-in-Law (2005), 48.1 Stomp the Yard (2007), 47.0 On the Line (2001), 46.7 You, Me and Dupree (2006), 46.5 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), 45.5 I Feel Pretty (2018), 43.3 John Tucker Must Die (2006), 43.2 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2003), 40.7 Mr. Deeds (2002), 40.6 The Break-Up (2006), 38.0 Whatever It Takes (2000), 37.7 Think Like a Man Too (2014), 36.5 A Cinderella Story (2004), 33.8 The Other Woman (2014), 33.8 Along Came Polly (2004), 33.3 Peeples (2013), 33.2 The Last Song (2010), 31.3 My Life in Ruins (2009), 31.2 Overboard (2018), 28.3 Chasing Liberty (2004), 26.9 Step Up 2: The Streets (2008), 24.8 Meet the Fockers (2004), 24.5 Dear John (2010), 21.9 The Ugly Truth (2009), 21.6 The Giver (2014), 21.5 The Lucky One (2012), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.1 Life as We Know It (2010), 16.9 The Beach (2000), 14.9 Grumpier Old Men (1995), 12.7 The Vow (2012), 9.3 P.S. I Love You (2007), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015), 7.8 Remember Me (2010)

(That’s pretty good … wait, why didn’t we do Maid in Manhattan!? That’s the one I wanted to do anyways. I guess I just didn’t realize both qualified or something.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jennifer Lopez is No. 1 billed in The Wedding Planner and No. 2 billed in Gigli, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 11. If we were to watch Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Jennifer Love Hewitt was developing a separate film with the same premise for her to star in but was forced to cancel the project when this film was released.

Bree Turner, who plays the bride needing comforting by Jennifer Lopez at the beginning of the movie, also opened another wedding movie, as a bridesmaid in the opening title sequence performance in My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997). Fan theories claim it was her playing the same character, still unlucky in love.

Franny’s Mother, played by Joanna Gleason, sings very badly in the movie and is asked numerous times by her daughter not to sing. In fact, Gleason has a very good singing voice and has appeared in several Broadway musicals, including “Into the Woods” for which she won the 1988 Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical.

Brendan Fraser was set to play the role of Dr. Steve/Eddie, but scheduling conflicts with filming the movie Bedazzled (2000) prevented him.

Sarah Michelle Gellar was originally set to star, but had to drop out because of scheduling conflicts from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress of the Decade (Jennifer Lopez)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Jennifer Lopez)

Glass Recap

Jamie

It’s a Glass attack! You must take every M. Night Shyamalan that qualifies for BMT as a gift in today’s world. He still has his quirks, he still makes weird choices, he still delivers some twists. He is who we thought he was, essentially, but just isn’t swinging so hard that we are laughing when he pops out. The Visit was a bunt single that we celebrated like a home run and Split was a double that turned the baseball (read: film) world on its head. Here’s a guy we thought was washed. He’s batting .107 and we are begging the team to send him to the minors and now suddenly he’s a solid contributor in the fifth spot in the lineup. So Glass, wellllll, let’s just say if you’re batting .250 that means you’re out ¾ of the time. Was that enough baseball metaphors for you?

To recap, Mr. Glass is back, Jack! And boy is he kind of boring. He’s essentially mute now and snoozing away in an insane asylum. The very asylum where Bruce Willis and The Beast are sent to after a confrontation in a local warehouse. There they meet the very annoying Dr. Staple who basically says they are all fakers and delusions, even though everyone knows it isn’t true because we saw the previous films. So she seems useless (or is she? (twist much?)). Mr. Glass meets with The Beast and basically is like “Let’s team up like the evil dream team,” and The Beast is down. It appears like Mr. Glass is caught, but uses his intelligence to outsmart the guards and get The Beast out of the asylum. He’s ready to unleash The Beast on the soon to be opened Largest Building in Philadelphia. But as they head that way they are confronted in the parking lot by Bruce. Bruce is like “stop” and The Beast is like “no.” Mr. Glass reveals Bruce’s weakness to water, while Bruce’s son reveals that The Beast’s dad, who protected him from his abusive mom, was killed in the train wreck Mr. Glass caused while trying to find Bruce. The Beast is pissed and kills Mr. Glass and throws Bruce into a water tank. Bruce manages to escape, but is too weak to fight, so it’s up to Casey from the first film to swoop in and bring Kevin, The Beast’s true form, into the light. At that point a sniper kills Kevin and police officers kill Bruce. Dr. Staple is revealed not to be a doubter, but instead part of a group tasked with putting down superhumans. Unfortunately for her, Mr. Glass was too smart and was able to stream the security footage of the event to a private server from which it’s released to the public. THE END.

I can certainly see why this qualified for BMT. Not just that it’s a huge step down from Unbreakable and Split, but even without the direct comparison it feels pretty meh. Long stretches of the film are just people being like “I’m not sure I have powers. Do I have powers?” or totally catatonic. It feels like it was done on the cheap or something. They decided to place what should be a fun conclusion entirely within the confines of a hospital without much of a plan on how to make that interesting. Cause it really wasn’t all that interesting I agree with Patrick that the ending is a nice subversion of a comic book film. A twist on a classic villain’s plan. It seems to go awry as it ends with a whimper in the parking lot of a hospital, but it turns out to go exactly as planned in every way. That’s fun… you know… if it actually was any fun. So it’s meh. The high 30’s RT score fits it to a tee.

Hot Take Clam Bake! That video would not impress anyone, let alone destabilize the world by inspiring people to become super. It’s a lame fight in a parking lot. One of the “superhumans” crushes a man… who has a disease that makes him easily crushable. The other is drowned in a puddle by a police officer. This is all assuming they even believe the video is real. It’s the age of AI, people. A computer could make that for me just by reading my mind or whatever. Hot Take Temperature: Philly Cheesesteak.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Glass? Well this movie just got shattered. Let’s go!

Right before watching this I watched Split. That movie is pretty enjoyable. I think a lot of the later M. Night has gotten a tiny bit overrated by people who like the formula he’s going for, which in a way is basically just The Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits on film. The Visit? Genuinely quite bad, and yet a lot of people seem to like it. Split? Solid, but still with a variety of bizarre choices which dropped it from an A to a B at best. I started watching Old … woooooooooooooooooooooooooof. I really don’t like that movie at all.

Glass seems to be the one that caught up on him. Just a shade under 40% seems to be properly rated.

The use of Samuel L. Jackson is terrible. He basically doesn’t do anything the entire film. The old lady makeup for his mother is also terrible. The actress playing his mother is younger than him (ha!).

McAvoy is still okay, but they continue to overuse the child character who is the worst of the bunch, and for all the bluster about 20-some-odd personalities they still only managed to show off a few.

Bruce Willis sleepwalks through the film as usual for that era.

All of the young characters have perplexing arcs.

The ultimate twist is pretty terrible.

And the ending is a bait-and-switch.

Out of all of those issues, the most interesting is the bait-and-switch ending, which upon reflection actually is kind of an excellent idea. Everyone in the movie keeps talking about this big tower being built. And everything is driving towards a big confrontation at that building. And then just as they are leaving for the building, they instead have a pretty lackluster battle in the parking lot of the insane asylum they are being housed at. In a way it is like … what are we doing here? But on another the idea of setting up this big event for it to just fall through (and that being part of the plan as well) seems kind of beautifully understated.

I’m glad they finished the trilogy, but there is very little likelihood I’ll watch anything but Unbreakable again in my life.

The best Product Placement (What?) in the film was a very conspicuous placement of the Apple logo on a computer at one point. Love the traditional Setting as a Character (Where?) for Philadelphia with a newly minted giant glass tower. And a definite Worst Twist (How?) for the reveal that all of this has been orchestrated by an Illuminati-like conspiracy to take down superheroes/villains before they gain power. Closest to Bad I think.

Read about the fourth film in the saga in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Glass Quiz

Oh man. So here’s the thing. I’m unbreakable. Un. Break. Able. Except … well my brain is still a brain and I’ve now sustained I think 50 massive concussions. I can’t remember how many (literally). Do you remember what happened in Glass?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Aw man you remember Unbreakable … yeah that was cool. Well our hero has a new job. What is it?

2) Aw man you remember Split?! Well our villain is really up to no good. Where is he keeping his new set of girls to be consumed by The Beast?

3) Aw man you remember … this movie. Well our other villain Mr. Glass is still around. Where has he been being kept for these long years?

4) Well guess what, now they are all there. How do they keep Split and Unbreakable under control though?

5) Aw shoot, I’m out of questions. Well I guess one more question. Who is the actual villains of the film and what are their nefarious plans?

Bonus Question: Well … now they need a hero. Where do you find the next Unbreakable?

Answers