franchise – Bad Movie Twins

Saw IV Preview

Back in the jury room, Wrestlemania is steamed. Beet red, a vein pulsating on his forehead, he lunges at Jamie accusing him of sabotaging his attempts to attend Wrestlemania. The rest of the jury hold him back. He’s still the last hold out and Jamie has one more trick up his sleeve, but he’s afraid it might break Wrestlemania’s sanity. “This has nothing to do with Wrestlemania, this is about a man’s life,” he states solemnly. Suddenly the gravity of the situation dawns on Wrestlemania’s face and his shoulders sag. “But… but he’s guilty,” he rasps weakly, his eyes pleading with Jamie to not make him change his vote. Jamie sighs. Time for the grand finale. They return to the courtroom and Jamie walks to the front of the room. “Ladies and gentlemen. We are asked to believe that this man… this boy… escaped the crime scene via elite parkour skillz.” Everyone nods. There was no doubt about that. “But look at the arms and legs of the accused. Do they look like they are capable of elite parkour moves?” A murmur arises from the crowd. Now that they look closely, the boy does seem rather weak. “Look at my arms and legs,” Jamie says, snapping off his snap-off track suit. The murmur grows louder and reaches ear-splitting proportions as he demonstrates some of the necessary parkour moves by scrambling around on the walls and ceiling of the courtroom. Wrestlemania stands, wild eyed and foaming at the mouth. “I didn’t want to have to do this! This could have been easy!” Jamie lands in front of him, “You saw them, didn’t you? You saw both the accused and murderer on that day. Who are you protecting?!” Jamie bellows. “I didn’t see two people,” Wrestlemania insists, “I saw four.” That’s right! We’re also going to see four when we watch Saw IV. The Saw franchise may as well have been created by Franchise Man. What wasn’t created by Franchise Man? Another film where someone gets their hands chopped off: Vibrations. It’s a classic… in that it’s about a musician who gets his hands chopped off and then builds robot hands to become an electronic music wizard. As I said… classic. Let’s go!

Saw IV (2007) – BMeTric: 37.4; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 16.4%; Notability: top 8.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 17.0%; Higher BMeT: Epic Movie, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Norbit, I Know Who Killed Me, Bratz, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, Daddy Day Camp, Who’s Your Caddy?, Are We Done Yet?, Postal, Delta Farce, Captivity, The Comebacks, Underdog, The Hills Have Eyes 2, Code Name: The Cleaner, The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising, Ghost Rider, Primeval, The Ten, and 21 more; Higher Notability: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Evan Almighty, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Fred Claus, Rush Hour 3, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Epic Movie, The Invasion, The Comebacks, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Lions for Lambs, Underdog, August Rush, Wild Hogs, The Reaping, Goal II: Living the Dream, Halloween, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, Next, The Game Plan; Lower RT: Daddy Day Camp, Epic Movie, Because I Said So, Code Name: The Cleaner, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Delta Farce, 88 Minutes, Good Luck Chuck, Who’s Your Caddy?, Are We Done Yet?, The Reaping, Silk, License to Wed, The Number 23, Premonition, Pathfinder, Postal, Norbit, I Know Who Killed Me, Perfect Stranger, and 22 more; Notes:

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars – Jigsaw is dead, but his ingenious torture devices mysteriously continue with law enforcement agents Mandylor and Patterson on the trail. We also learn how and why a successful architectural engineer morphed into this Satan. Decent rebound from its lackluster predecessor, this entry is less claustrophobic than usual, though many performances are typically subpar – which is almost part of the perverse appeal.

(I’m actually a bit shocked he would give it such a good review. My impression was always that he didn’t like horror films and he especially didn’t like the ones which bordered on the torture genre. The beginning of the review sounded like he was reading ad copy for the film though, so maybe he didn’t write it …)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxwdZMMymqY/

(Mother flipping twisted! More like a teaser trailer, and doesn’t really get into the absurdity of this movie. In a way Saw IV is either the final film in a truly absurd four film arc. Or, it is the beginning of the late-stage Saw franchise after an initial self-contained trilogy. Either way, it is weird and wild stuff.)

Actors – Tobin Bell – ( Known For: Goodfellas; Saw; The Firm; Manhattan; Mississippi Burning; Tootsie; In the Line of Fire; The Road to El Dorado; The Quick and the Dead; Saw X; Sophie’s Choice; The Verdict; Malice; 12 Feet Deep; Boogeyman 2; An Innocent Man; The 4th Floor; Boogeyman 3; The Call; Belzebuth; Future BMT: Saw V; Saw 3D; Jigsaw; Boiling Point; Loose Cannons; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Saw IV; Notes: He does have an interesting career, but I went through that for the last Saw films. Long story short: he didn’t really break out as an actor at all until he was quite old, and was never famous until Saw when he was in his 60s.)

Scott Patterson – ( Known For: Batman: Gotham by Gaslight; Her Best Move; Con Man; A Boy Called Hate; A Beer Tale; Future BMT: Saw V; Saw VI; Little Big League; Three Wishes; BMT: Saw IV; Notes: Was in 153 episodes of Gilmore Girls. He was also in the fifth and uncredited in the sixth.)

Louis Ferreira – ( Known For: Shooter; Dawn of the Dead; Naked Lunch; Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II; Life on the Line; The Marsh; Scenes of the Crime; Chestnut: Hero of Central Park; Blood & Donuts; Savage Messiah; The Lazarus Child; The Big Slice; Fallen Arches; Future BMT: Stella; BMT: Saw IV; Cocktail; Notes: Has been in a ton of television shows. Including one, improbably, called 1-800-Missing. This is a little like how once, in college, I was up until 3AM doing some homework, and suddenly a very random TV show came on. It looked a little like Criminal Minds, but it was the worst acting I’d ever seen … I never figured out what it was. Could have been 1-800-Missing.)

Budget/Gross – $10 million / Domestic: $63,300,095 (Worldwide: $139,352,633)

(My god. And that is why they’ve made a good ten films of this mega franchise. It just converts $10 million dollar bills into $100 million dollar bills.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 18% (15/83): Saw IV is more disturbing than compelling, with material already seen in the prior installments.

(… Like literally? Literally there is material from prior installments in it. But also yes, the film is ludicrous and doesn’t really tread too much new ground. But how can you when the entire point of your franchise is to be as gross as possible?)

Reviewer Highlight: The reports of torture porn’s demise may have been greatly exaggerated, but this fourth entry in the mutilate-yourself-or-die series joins what may be the worst genre of the decade: the lamely ”sympathetic” serial-killer backstory. – Owen Gleiberman, EW

Poster – Saw IV: The Final Chapter

(I don’t really believe this is the official poster, but we err on the side of IMDb. Is this supposed to somehow be sexy? Like why is this pig masked person wearing those boots? This whole thing makes me uncomfortable. NC-17.)

Tagline(s) – It’s a Trap (F)

(Oh, come on.)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

Top 10: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Green Lantern (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Ghost Rider (2007), The Happening (2008), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), The Mummy (2017)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 87.9 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 78.2 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.1 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Battlefield Earth (2000), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Catwoman (2004), Jack and Jill (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), The Emoji Movie (2017), Cats (2019), Gigli (2003), Scary Movie V (2013), Alone in the Dark (2005), Jaws: The Revenge (1987), The Last Airbender (2010), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), The Wicker Man (2006), Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), Madame Web (2024), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Jaws 3-D (1983), Troll 2 (1990), The Love Guru (2008), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), The Avengers (1998), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Fantastic Four (2015), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Norbit (2007), …

Best Options (imdb-keyword-severed-hand): 74.2 The Spirit (2008), 71.1 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 59.3 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.0 Legion (2010), 57.2 Robin Hood (2018), 50.8 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

(Wait … that many bad films have severed hands in it. Fun fact: Saw IV doesn’t really have a severed hand. It is like … a whole person is torn apart, which I guess technically means his hand was severed, but it isn’t really that. But Vibrations DEFINITELY has exactly two severed hands.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tobin Bell is No. 1 billed in Saw IV and No. 1 billed in Saw II, which also stars Donnie Wahlberg (No. 2 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 6 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 6) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch Mobsters we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – The seamless transitions between separate scenes in the film were not created using digital effects, but were done practically. For these transitions, the sets were built in such a way that two separate scenes could be filmed in one shot without interruption.

A coroner was on set at all times for the autopsy scene.

The autopsy scene was passed completely uncut by the MPAA.

In the making of the “Mausoleum Trap”, prosthetic thread was used on both actors. Louis Ferreira really couldn’t speak during filming; however, Kevin Rushton could actually see.

The Tobin Bell body cast used in the autopsy scene took two weeks to be constructed.

The Mighty Ducks Preview

And by back-up plan he means bringing “back up” all the points he was already making (and more). Soon Jamie is back in the courtroom, having cited Resolution 4125 from 1933, whereby Hallston established that jury members had the right to cross examine witnesses. The entire third grade classroom of Dark Territory Elementary is shown a super rad video of Jamie himself performing samurai moves with his sword and then asked simple memory-based questions. They all fail. The teacher intervenes. “But sir, I was not distracted by the rad/horrifying nature of the murder,” she insists. Jamie scoffs. He measures out 300 yards between the teacher and the accused and asks for identification. No problem. He then stands, shirtless, next to the young man. The teacher’s eyes widen and a murmur can be heard from the gallery. The teacher has to admit, “It’s uncanny. I can’t tell the difference.” Three more of the witnesses give him a thumbs up. It’s now 9-3 for ‘not guilty.’ Suddenly, a hubbub can be heard in the back of the room. Ms. LaRouche’s boss, Mr. Duckworth, is loudly whispering and making dramatic hand gestures at her. “I demand to know what is going on here. I understand we want to set this young man free, but do we need this… this…” They hear him hiss, pointing at Jamie, “riff raff being the one doing it? We’ll never work in this town again!” Ms. LaRouche is trying to calm him down, but the damage is done. The jury can now smell blood in the water. They must be on the right track when even the big wig defense lawyers are getting cold feet. Two more votes change. Just one more hold out… Wrestlemania. “Thank you, Mr. Duckworth,” Jamie says softly and Ms. LaRouche smiles slyly. That’s right! Thank you, indeed, Mr. Ducksworth. Without you forcing Gordon Bombay into coaching hockey, we wouldn’t get to watch all three for BMT. Let’s go!

The Mighty Ducks (1992) – BMeTric: 16.3; Notability: 50

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 20.4%; Notability: top 5.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.3%; Higher BMeT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (22), Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (47), Cool World (58), Pet Sematary II (29), Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (34), Toys (56), 3 Ninjas (60), Sleepwalkers (54), Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (42), Poison Ivy (37), Freejack (29), Evil Toons (19), Sidekicks (101), Aces: Iron Eagle III (54), Beethoven (18), Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (44), Christopher Columbus: The Discovery (27), Dr. Giggles (14), Encino Man (59), and 31 more; Higher Notability: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Toys, Cool World, Newsies, The Bodyguard, Honey, I Blew Up the Kid, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Freejack, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Universal Soldier, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Innocent Blood; Lower RT: Once Upon a Crime…, Live Wire, Folks!, Year of the Comet, Love Crimes, Frozen Assets, Cool World, Man Trouble, The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Passed Away, Mr. Baseball, Mom and Dad Save the World, The Distinguished Gentleman, Ladybugs, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Aces: Iron Eagle III, The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag, Mo’ Money, and 16 more; Notes: Sidekicks is incredible. A League of Their Own, A River Runs Through It, and the somewhat odd film Hero are the only others which breaks the 100 plays from 1992. But Sidekicks?! Man, Chuck Norris had some juice! We’ve only seen 7 of those top 20 by BMeTric which is somewhat unimpressive. Quite surprising.

Leonard Maltin – 2 Stars – Harmless, cliched Disney yarn of self-centered yuppie lawyer Estevez who’s busted for drunk-driving, ordered to do community service, and assigned to coach a ragtag inner-city peewee hockey team. Guess what happens next. (Anaheim-based pro hockey team was formed by Disney in 1993 called … you guessed it.) Followed by D2: The Mighty Ducks, D3: The Mighty Ducks, an animated series, and a TVM based on that series.

(Oh yeah, there was a movie based on the show. It has 700 votes on IMDb, so not exactly tearing it up. And bullshit, it isn’t even a real movie. It is just the first three episodes of the show! Maltin, you have to do better man.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um_JU7HpSYQ/

(Ha, the quality of this trailer is insane. I assume it was ripped off of a VHS. Even then … reducing it to 720x480ish it still is completely ridiculous looking. Oh the trailer? Looks fun as fuck.)

Directors – Stephen Herek – ( Known For: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure; Rock Star; Mr. Holland’s Opus; Critters; Our Little Secret; Afterlife of the Party; Dog Gone; The Chaperone; The Great Gilly Hopkins; Future BMT: 101 Dalmatians; The Three Musketeers; Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead; Life or Something Like It; Man of the House; Holy Man; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: Still directs. He was a producer and director on the MacGyver reboot, which seems to have kept him busy.)

Writers – Steven Brill – ( Known For: Walk of Shame; Heavyweights; Future BMT: Ready to Rumble; BMT: Little Nicky; The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: I don’t know how, but somehow he got hooked into the Sandler machine prior to Little Nicky in bit parts, and then wrote Little Nicky and has continued to act a bit in random Sandler films.)

Actors – Emilio Estevez – ( Known For: Mission: Impossible; The Breakfast Club; The Outsiders; Badlands; Young Guns; St. Elmo’s Fire; Bobby; Repo Man; The Way; Stakeout; Brats; The Public; Wisdom; The War at Home; Tex; Never on Tuesday; The L.A. Riot Spectacular; Sand; Future BMT: Loaded Weapon 1; Arthur and the Invisibles; Men at Work; Judgment Night; Another Stakeout; Nightmares; That Was Then… This Is Now; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; D2: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Young Guns II; Maximum Overdrive; Freejack; Notes: Mostly directs now, and apparently is planning on directing a third Young Guns film? Not sure how that’s going to work.)

Joss Ackland – ( Known For: The Hunt for Red October; Lethal Weapon 2; Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey; K-19: The Widowmaker; Miracle on 34th Street; Watership Down; Flawless; The Three Musketeers; The Four Musketeers: Milady’s Revenge; The House That Dripped Blood; Surviving Picasso; No Good Deed; A Zed & Two Noughts; Lady Jane; The Sicilian; Asylum; Firelight; The Thief and the Cobbler; The Little Prince; Mother’s Boys; Future BMT: Nowhere to Run; My Giant; A Kid in King Arthur’s Court; Once Upon a Crime…; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; D3: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: I randomly watched The Hunt for Red October and Lethal Weapon 2 pretty much back to back and I did a double take. He probably has the best villain in any Lethal Weapon film.)

Lane Smith – ( Known For: Network; My Cousin Vinny; Red Dawn; The Legend of Bagger Vance; Places in the Heart; Rooster Cogburn; Blue Collar; Prince of the City; Frances; Over the Edge; Prison; The Hi-Lo Country; The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training; Resurrection; The Last American Hero; Honeysuckle Rose; Between the Lines; Night Game; Purple Hearts; Weeds; Future BMT: Air America; Son in Law; The Distinguished Gentleman; The Scout; BMT: The Mighty Ducks; Notes: Died in 2005. Apparently he sang songs on the Lois & Clark tv show in the 90s? Something tells me that is maybe a fake credit. There is no mention of this on Wikipedia. Maybe he just sang a song in the show or something.)

Budget/Gross – $10,000,000 / Domestic: $50,752,337 (Worldwide: $50,755,845)

(And that is how a phenomenon is born. Sigh, where have all the $10 million films gone. For real, look at this film … looks at how many actors are there. Half of them become like actually famous actors when they grow up. How do you make this for $10 million? The ice time alone!)

Rotten Tomatoes – 27% (8/30): The Mighty Ducks has feel-good goals but only scores a penalty shot for predictability.

(Booooooooooooooooooooooo. This is a good movie. These days if this film was released people’s heads would explode. It would get like 90% on RT and top the Netflix charts.)

Reviewer Highlight: It must be said that this movie is sweet and innocent, and that at a certain level it might appeal to younger kids. I doubt if its ambitions reach much beyond that. – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

(They really cannot quit Goldberg. I don’t blame them. Chunky kids were my jam in kid’s comedy. Ham from The Sandlot. Larry from The Big Green. Zach from Son-in-law. I like the creativity with the poster. Very modern too. Extreme closeups are very common now. Font is nice with the speed streaks. I’m not in love with it, but I also don’t hate it. B-.)

Tagline(s) – He’s never coached. They’ve never won. Together they’ll learn everything about winning! (D)

(My word. No! Won and winning? You kidding?)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

Best Options (franchise): 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 76.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 75.3 The Grudge (2019), 74.8 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 74.6 God’s Not Dead (2014), 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.6 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 72.3 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 71.6 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 71.1 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 69.5 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 69.4 Black Christmas (2006), 69.3 Pulse (2006), 68.2 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 68.1 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 67.7 Seed of Chucky (2004), 67.4 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 66.9 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 65.1 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.9 The Final Destination (2009), 64.8 Blair Witch (2016), 64.4 Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006), 64.2 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 62.2 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 61.8 The Grudge 2 (2006), 61.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 61.3 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 61.2 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014), 60.7 The Mangler (1995), 60.4 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 60.2 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 60.1 Spiral (2021)

(Well yeah … because these are good films. We could have done an actual bad film for this, but what’s the fun in that? I think if I were to pick a franchise to smash here it would have been Karate Kid. The back two are genuine stinkers. Hot take: The second one sucks too, it is so dumb.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Emilio Estevez is No. 1 billed in The Mighty Ducks and No. 1 billed in Young Guns II: Blaze of Glory, which also stars Christian Slater (No. 4 billed) who is in Mindhunters (No. 4 billed) which also stars LL Cool J (No. 3 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (1 + 1) + (4 + 4) + (3 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 18. If we were to watch Judgment Night we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Jake Gyllenhaal, who was unknown at the time, auditioned for the role of Charlie Conway, but his parents wouldn’t let him do the movie so the producers ended up casting Joshua Jackson.

Before Emilio Estevez was offered and accepted the role of Gordon Bombay, Charlie Sheen, his brother, was offered the role, but turned it down.

Leonardo DiCaprio auditioned for the part of Charlie Conway but lost out to Joshua Jackson. In similar fashion, Juliette Lewis tried out for the part of Connie, but lost out to Marguerite Moreau.

The original premise of Mighty Ducks was much darker with very little comedy about an ex-NHL player turned alcoholic who seeks revenge on his old coach by coaching opposite him. The main idea stayed when Disney bought the rights to the movie, but some elements were changed (such as Bombay is now a lawyer, who never played in the NHL, who must do community service for a DUI), including much more emphasis on comedy and downplaying most of the adult themes.

Vincent LaRusso wasn’t given the role of Adam Banks initially, but later it was given to him when the child who originally played Banks became too difficult to work with.

The Strangers: Chapter 1 Preview

“The what?!” Jamie and Patrick say in shock. “The American Society of Movie Nerds,” the man says, rubbing some dirt from the placard as he passes through the door, “Why? What did you think it said?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other. “So, what is this place?” Jamie says after an unnecessarily long pause. They appear to be in a tunnel system of some sort. “Oh, just a place where movie nerds can get together and crunch the numbers on movies,” says the man, who they will come to know as Jacques. But neither of them are listening. For they have just entered a room full of the most wondrous sights. With a trembling hand Jamie reaches for a nearby shelf and gently grabs a VHS copy of Crackerjack. A tear rolls down his face. Jacques dabs his cheeks with a handkerchief. “Careful there,” he says soothingly, “you don’t want to damage the box with your tears.” Have they found their soul mate? They can feel the memory of Kyle fading like a photo of Marty McFly. After Jacques shows them a couple rare VHS copies of lesser known Canadian T&A comedies, Jamie, for the first time, sees a light at the end of his tunnel of grief. He turns to Jacques to ask if he might volunteer here, but Jacques is distracted. Jamie and Patrick huddle with him and see that he’s looking at a couple of fellow nerds. But there is something… off about these nerds. “Huh, that’s funny…” Patrick muses, “why are they so focused on the Star Wars and Star Trek stuff and not…” “the rare stuff,” they all say in unison. “Those aren’t nerds at all!” Jacques says in a panic before pulling an alarm and yelling, “There are strangers among us!” That’s right! There are Strangers among us. The Strangers: Prey at Night and The Strangers: Chapter 1, the two sequels to The Strangers. I’ve never seen any of them so I better buckle up. Let’s go!

The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024) – BMeTric: 67.8; Notability: 22

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 9.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 7.2%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, The Crow, Uglies; Higher Notability: Joker: Folie à Deux, Unfrosted, Reagan, Kraven the Hunter, Borderlands, The Garfield Movie, Madame Web, Here, Back to Black, Argylle, Red One, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Atlas, Lift, Jackpot!, The Union, The Crow, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Uglies, Dear Santa, and 4 more; Lower RT: Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Breathe, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Kraven the Hunter, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Trigger Warning; Notes: Madame Web. Hell yeah. It is entirely possible I’ve said exactly that in another preview. Don’t care. The BMeT on this thing is still absurd. So it the one for American Society. That film was fine.

Variety – [I]t’s still somewhat refreshing, in this age of lore-heavy expanded universes, that even here the filmmakers (including Bertino, who has a story credit) refuse to tell us anything about the Strangers. The nihilistic randomness of the violence is what makes the film connect on a visceral level; to give them a backstory, or even real names, would be to go against the premise’s central appeal. “Chapter 1” can’t help feeling like an ersatz imitation at times, but it seems the franchise’s well hasn’t run dry just yet. But while it might change in the next two installments, to date nothing in the series has been more chilling than the original intruders’ response when asked why they were doing this: “Because you were home.”

(I actually 100% agree with it. The issue is partially that even the first one wasn’t that good? The premise was interesting, but the acting was kind of insane and everything took way way too long to develop. The later installments don’t really solve the second problem. Unfortunately the solution (more people, more kills) also takes the franchise further from its isolated roots.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pZUQmZdOi4/

(Is this the same movie as the first? The kids are there … it is kind of a weird trick. Like, making a new trilogy as a reboot? Smart. Acting like this isn’t just a reboot of the first one … weird.)

Directors – Renny Harlin – ( Known For: Die Hard 2; Deep Blue Sea; Cliffhanger; The Long Kiss Goodnight; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; Cleaner; Devil’s Pass; Skiptrace; The Misfits; 5 Days of War; The Bricklayer; Prison; Born American; Bodies at Rest; Class Reunion 3; Legend of the Ancient Sword; Future BMT: Exorcist: The Beginning; 12 Rounds; BMT: Mindhunters; The Legend of Hercules; The Covenant; Driven; Cutthroat Island; The Strangers: Chapter 1; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Notes: It is very weird that they got him for this. He has two more installments, one of which is already completed, so I guess we’ll see where it goes.)

Writers – Alan Freedland and Alan R. Cohen – ( Future BMT: Due Date; BMT: The Strangers: Chapter 1; Notes: They wrote a few different animated things, and specifically ended up being being nominated for three Emmys for King of the Hill, winning one. They seem to have specialized in Bobby-centric episodes.)

Bryan Bertino – ( Known For: The Strangers; The Dark and the Wicked; The Monster; Mockingbird; BMT: The Strangers: Prey at Night; The Strangers: Chapter 1; Notes: He wrote and directed the original. He is a horror director through and through.)

Actors – Madelaine Petsch – ( Known For: Polaroid; About Fate; Sightless; F*&% the Prom; The Curse of Sleeping Beauty; The Hive; Hotel for the Holidays; Jane; BMT: The Strangers: Chapter 1; Notes: She’s in the second and third film I guess. It did show that she survived at the end. She was in 131 episodes of Riverdale.)

Ryan Bown – ( Known For: Palm Beach; Notes: BTW his character suuuuuucks. He is also involved in some shark movie Harlin is directing called Deep Water?)

Matus Lajcak – ( Notes: Scarecrow. He is actually mostly a stunt performer (the usual for horror films). Nothing major though, like, Game of Thrones for one episode.)

Budget/Gross – $8.5 million / Domestic: $35,202,562 (Worldwide: $48,166,448)

(Huge. Will obviously continue to make them, and hopefully the later ones do something a bit more interesting with the concept. Please don’t be another Purge.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 21% (22/106): Lacking the chilling suspense of the original The Strangers and proving to be just unpleasant, this Chapter 1 closes the book on itself.

(Unpleasant is correct. Specifically, for whatever reason, the two main characters appear to be people who don’t particularly like each other but are in a relationship and I really don’t understand that.)

Reviewer Highlight: Once we’re able to see Harlin’s new trilogy as a whole, “Chapter 1” might feel more essential to the 4.5-hour experience. Right now, it just feels overly familiar. – Brian Tallerico, RogerEbert.com

Poster – The Sklogs: Now We’re Dumbos

(This legit looks like trash. It has crossed from mildly annoying to hurting my eyes. The positive is that the eye hurting is in pursuit of something artistic. I’m a little crossed up here. C.)

Tagline(s) – They don’t need a reason. (D)

(This is just kind of the idea of the first film and it’s not clever or interesting. But it’s short. Bless their hearts.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), The Substance (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Civil War (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Gladiator II (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), Longlegs (2024)

Future BMT: 72.3 Singham Again (2024), 64.5 The Exorcism (2024), 62.6 Imaginary (2024), 62.1 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024), 47.5 Afraid (2024), 30.3 Slingshot (2024), 29.3 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 28.3 Devara Part 1 (2024), 26.0 Fighter (2024), 24.5 Red One (2024), 24.2 Summer Camp (2024), 21.7 The Fabulous Four (2024), 20.0 Reagan (2024), 19.9 Here (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Night Swim (2024), Tarot (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)

Best Options (franchise): 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024)

(As said, this does actually qualify as a franchise and beats Kraven (somehow), but due to a quirk in the email generation it thinks we already watched it … because we did, months ago. A little peak behind the curtain of BMTHQ here.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 25) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Richard Brake is No. 5 billed in The Strangers: Chapter 1 and No. 7 billed in Doom, which also stars Karl Urban (No. 1 billed) who is in Priest (No. 2 billed) which also stars Paul Bettany (No. 1 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 2 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (5 + 7) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 25. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Renny Harlin simultaneously filmed all three films of this trilogy. The producer explained that the lead star would film scenes for the first film in the morning and scenes for the second in the afternoon, commuting to many different locations for filming several times a day.

According to Froy Gutierrez, filming of all three films took place in Fall of 2022 over a 52-day shoot.

The film’s script was originally 280 pages long based off of notes and ideas which director Renny Harlin and producer Courtney Solomon juggled between each other. They then separated the screenplay into three parts which is now planned to be a trilogy of interlocked stories.

The third film of a series and the first film of a new trilogy. All films of the trilogy are directed by Renny Harlin.

The title suggests that it might be a prequel to the 2008 original, but it isn’t. “The Strangers: Chapter 1” is actually the start of a new trilogy, with two subsequent chapters on the way. It is a new trilogy, only inspired by Bertino’s original.

Rocky V Preview

Jamie, Samantha, Patrick and Kyle all quadruple group hug. Tears and snot mingle on their shirts. For a brief shining moment Samantha sees her roller rink beaus looking down from heaven nodding and giving her a thumbs up. “I couldn’t help but overhear,” Patrick says, when the group hug had run its course, putting emphasis on the word ‘overhear’ in order to really hammer home the lessons they all learned that day. “But what ever happened to Alajandro and Brad?” Samantha smiles sadly. “In a wild coincidence they also had vague terminal illnesses. It was part of why they were engaging in the particularly risky activities of drag racing and rollerskating on the day I met them. They each, separately and unknown to the other, had nothing left to live for… I guess that is until they met little ol’ me. And then once they were gone,” with that her voice catches and she runs her hand across a faded heart carved in the Wall of Lovers. “Once they were gone I also didn’t have much to live for and so why not take part in an obvious sham Fashion Week? Why not dress as half a horse? I just didn’t count on meeting my actual other half that day.” Jamie and Samantha share a passionate kiss. The smooch goes on and on, seemingly (and in actuality) for hours. It would have been extremely uncomfortable for Patrick and Kyle to stand there watching them if it wasn’t so beautiful. A beautiful unique tragic love. A tear runs down Kyle’s face as he ponders the beautiful unique mannequin he will craft to remember this moment by. Samantha and Jamie break their kiss and with eyes shining Samantha asks, “You wanted to know what was next?” Jamie nods. “It’s time to Rock.” That’s right! It is time to rock. Rocky IV and Rocky V that is. Rocky IV hasn’t always qualified, so we are jumping at that chance. Rocky V? That’s always qualified. For a Friend we are bringing along The Invisible Maniac. It’s about a maniac that turns himself invisible. It’s all there in the title. Let’s go!

Rocky V (1990) – BMeTric: 55.1; Notability: 52

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 4.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.7%; Higher BMeT: Captain America, Look Who’s Talking Too, The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter, Ghost Dad, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III; Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, Jetsons: The Movie, Young Guns II, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Air America, Marked for Death, The Rookie, Captain America, Stella; Lower RT: Problem Child, Death Warrant, Graveyard Shift, Repossessed, Loose Cannons, Soultaker, Madhouse, Funny About Love, Captain America, Ghost Dad, Fire Birds, Spaced Invaders, Meet the Applegates, Where the Heart Is, Heart Condition, Ernest Goes to Jail, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Look Who’s Talking Too, Air America, Everybody Wins, and 27 more; Notes: I literally cannot believe Rocky V played on television as much as it did (72 times). It is also interesting that the top BMeT films are often just not that popular. Here Captain America played 17 times, but the next three after played 66, 51, and 32 times. Robocop 2 also played 54 times. Anyways, of all the Rocky films this is the big gun from a Notability and BMeT perspective.

New York Times – Rocky, Buffeted by Fists and Life, Returns to His Roots – HIDDEN in the attic at the Balboa manor house are a black leather jacket, an old sweatshirt and a porkpie hat, relics of the Rocky of yore. Early in “Rocky V,” the humbled ex-champ is forced to take these things, put them back on and go home to palookaville (in this case, South Philadelphia), as if he had never been noisily and conspicuously on top of the world. … It’s a smart move. There’s life in the old boy yet.

(MY GOD. How embarrassing for the New York Times. And that’s Janet Maslin, that ain’t no scrub watching this film. I can see the point … it just doesn’t square with the last 10 minutes of the film.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2_k8p3RQx4/

(An unscrupulous promoter ehhhhhhhhh. It is kind of insane that they don’t actually fight in the film. It is ridiculous that they don’t even have the fight. It is effectively what Rocky Balboa is about.)

Directors – John G. Avildsen – ( Known For: Rocky; The Karate Kid; The Karate Kid Part II; Lean on Me; Inferno; The Power of One; Neighbors; Save the Tiger; Joe; The Formula; A Night in Heaven; Hurry Sundown; W.W. and the Dixie Dancekings; Happy New Year; Cry Uncle; Guess What We Learned in School Today?; Slow Dancing in the Big City; Foreplay; The Stoolie; Future BMT: The Karate Kid Part III; 8 Seconds; For Keeps?; BMT: Rocky V; Notes: Nominated for Traveling Hopefully, and won Best Director for Rocky. Kind of amazing he managed to make both the best and worst Rocky film.)

Writers – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Rocky; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Homefront; Creed III; F.I.S.T.; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Rambo: Last Blood; Cobra; Over the Top; Driven; Rhinestone; Notes: He has only ever been nominated for Rocky films. Which … I mean looking at his writing credits, that makes perfect sense.)

Actors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Rocky; Men in Black; The Suicide Squad; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Escape Plan; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Antz; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Cop Land; M*A*S*H; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Samaritan; Future BMT: Staying Alive; Ratchet & Clank; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Demolition Man; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Judge Dredd; Tango & Cash; Rambo: Last Blood; Assassins; Cobra; Daylight; The Specialist; Zookeeper; Grudge Match; Over the Top; Lock Up; The Expendables 4; Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Get Carter; Oscar; Rhinestone; Notes: Although, I do think people think Cop Land is the one people point to and say: that is where he should have been nominated or even won. I do like the performance, but the film is just a little blah.)

Talia Shire – ( Known For: The Godfather; The Godfather Part II; Rocky; The Godfather Part III; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; I Heart Huckabees; Palo Alto; Megalopolis; New York Stories; Sly; She’s So Lovely; Rad; Prophecy; The Sparks Brothers; The Dunwich Horror; Deadfall; Homo Erectus; Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It.; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; Notes: I did not realize Talia Shire was in Rad. She played Mrs. Jones. And now I need to see this film.)

Burt Young – ( Known For: Rocky; Once Upon a Time in America; Chinatown; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Win Win; New York, I Love You; Transamerica; Mickey Blue Eyes; Back to School; Convoy; Sly; Rob the Mob; The Pope of Greenwich Village; She’s So Lovely; The Killer Elite; Across 110th Street; Last Exit to Brooklyn; The Gambler; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; The Adventures of Pluto Nash; Going Overboard; Amityville II: The Possession; Notes: I find it crazy he was third billed here, it obviously should have been Stallone’s son. His son’s performance is crazy in this, but also it is quite bad.)

Budget/Gross – $42 million / Domestic: $40,946,358 (Worldwide: $119,946,358)

(This isn’t bad, but yeah, it is obvious the series had ended once the domestic take didn’t hit $100 million. I can’t imagine what Rocky VI would have been though … I guess him training his son?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 32% (12/38): Rocky V’s attempts to recapture the original’s working-class grit are as transparently phony as each of the thuddingly obvious plot developments in a misguided installment that sent the franchise flailing into longterm limbo.

(I cannot believe this has a 32% on Rotten Tomatoes. This film is genuinely horrid. And yeah, Rocky V is exclusively the reason this franchise went dark for years.)

New york Times Description: Scraping the barrel. Sweaty and juiceless.

Poster – Rock ’em Sock ’em V: Maybe Lay Off the Socking For a Bit

(Really terrible. Also very funny that the whole film is based on the idea that he’s training the next big Rocky sensation, but the poster is more or less “not so fast.” D.)

Tagline(s) – Go for it! (F)

(Not this one. Go back to the one that implies the fight in the film is actually on the level of a world war.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.1 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.6 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Who’s That Girl (1987), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.5 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.3 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.7 Hercules (1983), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)

BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), …

(Kind of crazy this isn’t one of the tops. The only one worth anything there I think is The Karate Kid Part III. That series really really goes off the rails.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 9) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Rocky V and No. 1 billed in The Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 9. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – Sylvester Stallone originally planned to make the effects of Rocky’s brain damage much more visible and painful to see, but altered these plans after watching a few days of footage because the sight of Rocky like that was “like seeing your favorite dog with dysplasia.”

During shooting, John G. Avildsen felt that cinematographer Steven Poster was over-lighting many scenes. He told Poster he wanted the film to look more like Rocky (1976), in which James Crabe often used a single spotlight to light an entire scene (such as the opening boxing match). Poster told Avildsen that the original film “looked like a cheap documentary”. Avildsen smiled and said, “Exactly”.

In an interview with Jonathan Ross, Sylvester Stallone was asked to rate each of the “Rocky” movies out of 10. He gave this movie zero.

Sylvester Stallone originally toyed with the idea of killing Rocky off at the end of the film. The plan was that Rocky would die in an ambulance on its way to the hospital with Adrian by his side. At the hospital, she would have announced to the world of his passing and his spirit would live on with a final flashback of the famous scene of him running up the steps. Stallone ultimately abandoned this concept and rewrote the ending.

This is the first movie where Rocky’s real name, Robert, is used. When Rocky first meets Tommy Gunn, as George Washington Duke pulls up in his limo, Duke says “Mr. Robert ‘Rocky’ Balboa!”

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Irwin Winkler, Robert Chartoff)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Sylvester Stallone)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Talia Shire)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Burt Young)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (John G. Avildsen)

Rocky IV Preview

Rocky IV (1985) – BMeTric: 10.9; Notability: 54

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 16.0%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 19.6%; Higher BMeT: Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, Howling II: … Your Sister Is a Werewolf, Red Sonja, Porky’s Revenge, King Solomon’s Mines, Perfect, Transylvania 6-5000, Creature, Gymkata, American Ninja, Private Resort, Invasion U.S.A., Once Bitten, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, Death Wish 3, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, Avenging Angel, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, King David, A View to a Kill, and 20 more; Higher Notability: A View to a Kill, Spies Like Us, My Science Project, King David, Maxie, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, Santa Claus, Perfect; Lower RT: American Ninja, That Was Then… This Is Now, Head Office, Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, The Slugger’s Wife, Maxie, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, King Solomon’s Mines, King David, Once Bitten, My Science Project, Private Resort, Fever Pitch, Death Wish 3, Summer Rental, Tuff Turf, Gymkata, Rustlers’ Rhapsody, Perfect, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, and 24 more; Notes: Obviously quite low BMeTric. If you look at the top 10 there, this guy played the most in the 90s (63 times), but Red Sonja is close behind (62 times). I do love that Gymkata played 35 times. There is something about that movie which felt like it was a modern 2000s rediscovery, but presumably a ton of people watched it in the 90s and that is how it became a cult film.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The “Rocky” series is finally losing its legs. It’s been a long run, one hit movie after another, but “Rocky IV” is a last gasp, a film so predictable that viewing it is like watching one of those old sitcoms where the characters never change and the same situations turn up again and again. Even Sylvester Stallone seems to be getting tired of the series; as the writer and director, as well as the star, he puts himself through the same old paces.

(I suppose the irony would be that Rocky as a series is basically still going, and not only that but the third Creed film is making all the same mistakes as Ebert is pointing out here. Time is a flat circle.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp1e9ReSD0E/

(Apollo nooooooooooooooooo! Insane that they just mention that in the first trailer. The music sting at the end though is immediately a classic. The movie looks insane and amazing. Which it is.)

Directors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: The Expendables; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; Notes: He didn’t direct as much as I really remember, although he directed more Rockys than I would have thought. He is likely to never direct again as well, he seems to be doing smaller films plus writing these days.)

Writers – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Rocky; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Homefront; Creed III; F.I.S.T.; Paradise Alley; Future BMT: Staying Alive; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Rambo: Last Blood; Cobra; Over the Top; Driven; Rhinestone; Notes: Staying Alive is upcoming and yeah … that means we are going to legit be done with Sly the writer and director. He does have an upcoming writing gig though, but I’m somewhat convinced that will be review-proof to some degree.)

Actors – Sylvester Stallone – ( Known For: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Rocky; Men in Black; The Suicide Squad; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Expendables; The Expendables 2; Creed; First Blood; Escape Plan; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Antz; Creed II; Cliffhanger; Cop Land; M*A*S*H; Spy Kids 3: Game Over; Samaritan; Future BMT: Staying Alive; Ratchet & Clank; BMT: Rambo; Rocky IV; The Expendables 3; Demolition Man; Rambo: First Blood Part II; Rocky V; Rambo III; Judge Dredd; Tango & Cash; Rambo: Last Blood; Assassins; Cobra; Daylight; The Specialist; Zookeeper; Grudge Match; Over the Top; Lock Up; The Expendables 4; Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; Driven; Get Carter; Oscar; Rhinestone; Notes: And then there will be only Ratchet & Clank in the new year. When we watch Staying Alive that will be our 25th Stallone film. Insane. He seems a bit busy with Tulsa King these days to churn out stinkers.)

Talia Shire – ( Known For: The Godfather; The Godfather Part II; Rocky; The Godfather Part III; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; I Heart Huckabees; Palo Alto; Megalopolis; New York Stories; Sly; She’s So Lovely; Rad; Prophecy; The Sparks Brothers; The Dunwich Horror; Deadfall; Homo Erectus; Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It.; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; Notes: Nominated twice for Oscars for The Godfather Part II and Rocky. She was amazing in The Godfather Part II, and she is by far the best thing in some of these later Rocky films even though she doesn’t get much to do and people make fun of her for it.)

Burt Young – ( Known For: Rocky; Once Upon a Time in America; Chinatown; Rocky II; Rocky Balboa; Rocky III; Win Win; New York, I Love You; Transamerica; Mickey Blue Eyes; Back to School; Convoy; Sly; Rob the Mob; The Pope of Greenwich Village; She’s So Lovely; The Killer Elite; Across 110th Street; Last Exit to Brooklyn; The Gambler; BMT: Rocky IV; Rocky V; The Adventures of Pluto Nash; Going Overboard; Amityville II: The Possession; Notes: Oh wow, we finished off Burt Young. I suppose I just always expected there to be another random weird 80s Burt Young to go to in the end. Rocky was really a phenomenon, he was also nominated for an Oscar for it.)

Budget/Gross – $28 million / Domestic: $127,873,716 (Worldwide: $300,473,716)

(Gigantic. Rocky V truly is so terrible is scared even the money-making machines of Hollywood away from the series for a decade or two. This isn’t even a good movie and it just easily breaks $250 million in the 80s.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 39% (20/51): Rocky IV inflates the action to absurd heights, but it ultimately rings hollow thanks to a story that hits the same basic beats as the first three entries in the franchise.

(Juuuuuuust right there. Indeed it hasn’t qualified for years, but just a few months ago that switched and Rocky IV became a qualifier again. We would have watched it regardless.)

New York Times Description: This time he boxes a Soviet giant. Guess who wins.

Poster – Rock ’em Sock ’em IV: Sockin’ Again

(Spoiler alert! It’s OK. Just wish it didn’t spoil the end. S for spoilees.)

Tagline(s) – Get ready for the next world war. (B+)

(Holy shit. That’s not clever but it is great. I want to give it an A, but I’m a stickler for the tagline as everyone knows.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

Best Options (franchise): 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 67.9 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Rocky V (1990), 54.8 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 52.5 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.4 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 48.6 Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990), 47.2 Big Top Pee-wee (1988), 45.7 Children of the Corn (1984), 44.8 American Ninja (1985), 44.7 Missing in Action (1984), 41.9 House II: The Second Story (1987), 41.4 Speed Zone (1989), 41.0 Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987), 40.9 The Delta Force (1986), 38.0 House Party 2 (1991), 37.7 Return of the Living Dead II (1988), 34.0 Ernest Saves Christmas (1988), 33.4 Death Wish 3 (1985), 31.3 Ernest Scared Stupid (1991), 31.0 Jetsons: The Movie (1990), 30.1 Creepshow 2 (1987), 26.6 National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985), 24.2 A View to a Kill (1985), 24.1 Oh, God! You Devil (1984), 17.7 Phantasm II (1988), 17.4 Best of the Best (1989), 15.1 The Black Stallion Returns (1983), 10.9 Rocky IV (1985)

(This isn’t the one we did, we did Rocky V for this. It is kind of crazy Rocky V isn’t more reviled. It is actually truly trash, and bizarre to boot.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 9) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sylvester Stallone is No. 1 billed in Rocky IV and No. 1 billed in The Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 9. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – Sylvester Stallone decided that for the shooting of the fight, he and Dolph Lundgren should hit one another for real, so as to increase the intensity of the scene. After doing three takes of Rocky taking shots to ribs, Stallone felt a burning in his chest, but ignored it. Later that night, he had difficulty breathing and was taken to a nearby emergency room. It was discovered that his blood pressure was over 200, and he had to be flown on a low-altitude flight from Vancouver, Canada to St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica, where he remained in intensive care for four days. What had happened was that Lundgren had punched him so hard in the chest, Stallone’s heart had slammed up against his breastbone and began to swell, cutting off the blood supply and restricting the oxygen flow throughout the body. . However, when asked about whether or not it really happened while answering a series of fan questions in a 2021 interview with the Guardian, Lundgren claimed to have no recollection of the incident. “I don’t know,” he said. “[Stallone] keeps talking about it, so maybe he’s right. He did go to the hospital, but I don’t know whether it was my punches or the fact that he was so overworked as the director, actor and writer. We shot those 15 rounds over two or three weeks, eight or 12 hours a day, so you’re throwing thousands of punches. If you don’t connect, it looks a bit fake, but it doesn’t mean you want to hurt the other guy. But there were no hard feelings.” He went on to explain that stand-ins and stunt doubles were rarely used, and that he has performed the majority of his own stunts and fight scenes–but that this has changed in more recent years. “Back in the day, you had to do it all yourself: Rocky IV, The Punisher, Masters of the Universe, all the Expendables,” he said. “I’ve jumped from a motorcycle to a truck; dangerous things I would never do now. Staying physically fit over the years has been nice. There aren’t many actors who can stay physically fit for a long time. Part of the game is trying to look fit, at least.”

“Rocky IV” became the highest-grossing film in the “Rocky” series to date, taking in just over 300 million dollars worldwide.

During filming, Dolph Lundgren and Carl Weathers really did not get along and got into an altercation. Lundgren threw Weathers into a corner of the boxing ring. After that, Weathers shouted profanities at Lundgren while leaving the ring and announced that he was calling his agent and quitting the movie. Only after Sylvester Stallone forced the two actors to reconcile did the movie continue. This event caused a four-day work stoppage while Weathers was talked back into the part and Lundgren agreed to tone down his aggressiveness.

James Brown is seen performing the song “Living In America” prior to the Creed vs. Drago match. The song was released as a single from the movie’s soundtrack and became Brown’s first Top 40 single in eleven years, and the last of his career.

Over 8,000 people auditioned for the part of Ivan Drago. Dolph Lundgren was first turned down by the casting directors for being too tall but later on, he got the chance to send photos and meet Sylvester Stallone who told him he had a good chance to get the part, but advised him to gain twenty pounds of muscle. In total, it took Lundgren several months to win the part.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Irwin Winkler, Robert Chartoff)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Sylvester Stallone)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Burt Young)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Brigitte Nielsen)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Talia Shire)

Child’s Play 3 Preview

A column of flame wooshes to the ceiling as Patrick and Kyle put their finishing touches on the 1997’s Spawn themed dinner that has left both Jamie and Samantha laughing and applauding and making out with glee. From the Pie-olators savory pie medley to the Michael Chai & White chocolate fondue, it all delighted, but nothing more so than Hell on Earth: the record-setting banana flambé. After finishing thanking the representative from the Guiness Book of World Records who had confirmed that not only was this the largest banana flambé of all time, but also the most delicious, Patrick turns back to Jamie and Samantha. He takes a step back in shock when he sees that Jamie is down on one knee. His keys to love really worked! “Samantha,” Jamie begins, “I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but I feel like we’ve already had our love tested. I haven’t always been perfect. Scott Bakula didn’t deserve to have his head fly off at his funeral. Patrick and Kyle didn’t deserve to have me become a mud baby in the face of losing my hearing. Through all that you still loved me and I didn’t deserve that.” Samantha tries to interrupt, but Jamie stops her. “No, you’re right. There is no deserving here. It is just the fact that through your love I found the strength of my own love for you.” There isn’t a dry eye in the house as Jamie launches the last bit of his speech. “I want to carve our names on the Wall of Lovers in your hometown. You are the Jason to my Friday the 13th. The Chucky to my…” But before he can finish Samantha rushes out of the restaurant in tears. Jamie is stupefied. “I didn’t mean she’s a monster.” That’s right! We are heading into one of the classics of the horror genre with Child’s Play 3. Chucky’s back, Jack! And why not pair that with an equally important third entrant in a trilogy: Critters 3. This time it’s personal or something. Let’s go!

Child’s Play 3 (1991) – BMeTric: 58.2; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.4%; Notability: top 10.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.7%; Higher BMeT: Highlander II: The Quickening, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, Cool as Ice, Critters 3, Problem Child 2, Suburban Commando; Higher Notability: Hook, Hudson Hawk, Flight of the Intruder, Mobsters, Necessary Roughness, Switch, Life Stinks, Out for Justice, F/X2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, Rock-A-Doodle, The Marrying Man, Rover Dangerfield, Married to It, Dutch, Oscar, King Ralph, Highlander II: The Quickening, Billy Bathgate, If Looks Could Kill, and 5 more; Lower RT: Highlander II: The Quickening, Return to the Blue Lagoon, Critters 3, The Super, Run, Cool as Ice, Another You, All I Want for Christmas, Problem Child 2, Mobsters, The Marrying Man, Strictly Business, Drop Dead Fred, Oscar, The Hitman, Mannequin: On the Move, Curly Sue, One Good Cop, Nothing But Trouble, Suburban Commando, and 3 more; Notes: Played 46 times on cable in the 90s. Compared to Critters 3 (4 times) that ain’t bad. It was about the same for Highlander II, but the rest are more spotty. With these two we only have Suburban Commando in the top 7 BMeT for 1991.

New York Times – The most intriguing part of the film is the lifelike way Chucky walks, talks and slashes. He is actually played by several mechanical dolls and is an impressive technological achievement. But advancing the state of technology is probably not what the makers of “Child’s Play 3” had in mind.

(Slammed … but also the truth. The impressive bit of the films are how they mix and match the different tech with the doll. Compare this to the Leprechaun series where it is just Warwick Davis in a suit all the time forever.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3No1jTRSvg8/

(Hell on earth? Lol. Oh shit that is Odo from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I kind of love this trailer. The movie looks like shit, but I love the twist in the middle where it is like wait … what is this movie about. And then Chucky pops up.)

Directors – Jack Bender – ( BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: He won an Emmy as a producer for Lost, and was nominated a bunch of times for directing that series as well. He is mostly a television director, including Game of Thrones and Mr. Mercedes more recently.)

Writers – Don Mancini – ( Known For: Child’s Play; Bride of Chucky; Child’s Play 2; Child’s Play; Curse of Chucky; Cult of Chucky; Cellar Dweller; Future BMT: Seed of Chucky; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: One of the reasons this series plays so well with hardcore fans is mainly because Mancini has been heavily involved throughout the series. After the third the series, successfully, went full horror-comedy with the Jennifer Tilly character.)

Actors – Justin Whalin – ( Known For: The Dead Pool; Serial Mom; Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion; For the Cause; Blood of Beasts; White Wolves II: Legend of the Wild; Denial; Off the Ledge; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Dungeons & Dragons; Notes: Dungeons & Dragons is the big one, one of his rare leading roles. He seems to have at least semi-retired in 2009.)

Perrey Reeves – ( Known For: Mr. & Mrs. Smith; Old School; Plus One; Kicking and Screaming; Cosmic Sin; Smoke Signals; The Suburbans; An American Affair; Innocence; High Voltage; Future BMT: Entourage; American Dreamz; Undiscovered; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: Oh right, ha, she’s Frank’s wife in Old School. But probably more famously she appeared in Entourage a ton as Ari’s wife.)

Jeremy Sylvers – ( BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: This is really it for him. He was in an episode of Saved by the Bell, but apparently uncredited.)

Budget/Gross – $13 million / Domestic: $14,960,255 (Worldwide: $20,560,255)

(That feels disastrous. Which I guess explains why there was a 7 year hiatus between the third film and the resurrected comedy series it became.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (3/16)

(If you look there is a mix of people basically being like “man, when they took this seriously the series sucked!” and people being like “man, when they took it seriously the series was awesome … well except for the third film I guess.” People universally hated it.)

New York Times Listing Description – Cute little killer doll had a certain wit. Now simply vile, bit like Jason, bit like early Terminator.

Poster – Voodoo Doll Curse 3: Still Cursed

(It is striking if a bit unimaginative. I like the font on the 3. I also remember these images really freaking me out as a kid in the video store. They’re pretty silly though. B.)

Tagline(s) – There comes a time to put away childhood things. But some things just won’t stay put! (C-)

Look who’s stalking (A)

(The first is clever but I don’t have to tell you it’s far too long. The second if quite funny. They nailed it with that one.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993), The Bone Collector (1999)

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 83.0 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.1 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.8 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.6 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.6 Jury Duty (1995), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.0 Holy Man (1998)

Best Options (1991-1991): 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 44.8 King Ralph (1991), 40.6 V.I. Warshawski (1991), 38.2 The Butcher’s Wife (1991), 37.9 House Party 2 (1991), 33.6 Career Opportunities (1991), 32.1 Curly Sue (1991), 31.9 Scenes from a Mall (1991), 31.6 Another You (1991), 31.3 Ernest Scared Stupid (1991), 30.5 Drop Dead Fred (1991), 29.7 Switch (1991), 28.9 He Said, She Said (1991), 28.9 Delirious (1991), 28.9 Eve of Destruction (1991), 28.5 Billy Bathgate (1991), 27.9 F/X2 (1991), 27.8 The Super (1991), 27.7 Life Stinks (1991), 27.6 Dying Young (1991), 27.2 Flight of the Intruder (1991), 27.2 If Looks Could Kill (1991), 27.1 Pure Luck (1991), 27.0 A Kiss Before Dying (1991), 26.8 Out for Justice (1991), 26.5 Mobsters (1991), 26.3 Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991), …

(Hell yeah, we nailed this one. And we smashed out four movies in a week. And that is in no way depressing. Suburban Commando is a blind spot though, we should watch that.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Brad Dourif is No. 2 billed in Child’s Play 3 and No. 6 billed in Senseless, which also stars Matthew Lillard (No. 3 billed) who is in Wicker Park (No. 3 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 6) + (3 + 3) + (1 + 3) = 18. If we were to watch Passenger 57, Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – Under pressure from Universal, screenwriter Don Mancini was asked to begin writing the third film even before the second film was released. Hence, this picture was released only nine months after Child’s Play 2 (1990). Mancini has called it his least favorite because he felt he was out of ideas so soon after the second installment.

This was the first film in the series to use computers to aid in Chucky’s puppetry – in order to perfect the lip-syncing.

The movie was the center of a tabloid panic in Great Britain, with one newspaper – The Sun – even demanding existing copies be burned. Journalists claimed the film had influenced two 10-year-old boys in their murder of a younger child, two-year-old James Bulger, although it was later determined that neither had actually seen this film.

John Ritter was originally supposed to appear as a security guard at the Good Guy Doll Factory in a sequence where some kids sneak into the factory and discuss the Chucky myth. Ritter later appeared in Bride of Chucky (1998) in a supporting role.

Don Mancini initially wanted to introduce the concept of “multiple Chuckys” in the movie but due to budget constraints, the idea was eventually scrapped. Mancini later used this concept 26 years later for Cult of Chucky (2017).

Major League: Back to the Minors Preview

Patrick scans the crowd of BMTverse denizens that surrounded him in The Waste, all ready to send him on whatever ludicrous adventure they had in mind. Stonewall Jackson? Nah. Pistachio Disguisey? Definitely not. The Punisher? He shakes his head. Suddenly, far in the back he finds what he’s looking for. “You!” Patrick yells, pointing at Freddie Prinze Jr. “Which one are you?” he asks seriously. “My name’s Ryan Dunne and I seem to have lost my stuff. If you could just…’ At this point Patrick cuts him off. “Great, perfect. You got your glove and a ball? Great, nice.” He moves people out of the way and stands approximately 60 feet from FPJ. “The best way to get back your stuff is to believe in yourself. It’s been inside you the whole time, etc. etc.” At that, Patrick bends over, still looking at FPJ. “Now show me what you got,” Patrick says, waggling his head at the ready for a fastball directly to his dome. FPJ shrugs his shoulders and despite some questionable mechanics delivers a strike that knocks Patrick on his ass.

Patrick awakens and as his vision clears he’s shocked to see the marquee of the wildlife theater come back into view. Cobra is now properly playing, but that’s not the shocking part. Below that are the words “Cobra 2: Crimedemic, World Premier!” He turns to Kyle and asks whether he’s still dreaming. Kyle shakes his head and pats him on the back. “You were glorious,” he assures Patrick without elaborating on how exactly he helped make this a reality. The owner of the theater rushes up to him and pumps his hand enthusiastically. “We made it. My little theater has finally made the major leagues thanks to you and, of course, your best friend Sly Stallone.” That’s right! We are going back to back again, Jack. Major League is one of the best sports comedies of all time. Major League II is not. Major League: Back to the Minors is… also not. Let’s go!

Major League: Back to the Minors (1998) – BMeTric: 52.3; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.0%; Notability: top 14.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.4%; Higher BMeT: The Avengers, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, Species II, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, The Patriot, Lost in Space, Knock Off, Holy Man, Ringmaster, Godzilla; Higher Notability: Godzilla, Lost in Space, 54, Deep Rising, Soldier, Patch Adams, U.S. Marshals, Mercury Rising, Jack Frost, Great Expectations, Senseless, My Giant, Practical Magic, Mafia!, The Avengers, Species II, The Waterboy, The Replacement Killers, Phantoms, Wrongfully Accused, and 17 more; Lower RT: 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, A Murder of Crows, The Curve, Lulu on the Bridge, The Avengers, Almost Heroes, Tarzan and the Lost City, Senseless, Strangeland, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Species II, Phantoms, Knock Off, Woo, Meet the Deedles, A Night at the Roxbury, The Proposition, Firestorm, Holy Man, Hush, and 25 more; Notes: Played 23 times on cable in the 90s. Ridiculous. If you look at all of the higher BMeT films, that is actually quite high (tied with The Avengers for the most). We are also 12 of 15 for those films for BMT which is amazing. We really have crushed the late 90s. Holy Man is the big blind spot really, Ringmaster and the 3 Ninjas sequels are kind of not movies.

Variety – This third outing in the “Major League” series, which opened unceremoniously without press screenings, won’t set any box office records.

(My god! I wonder how many of the BMT films we’ve done didn’t do press screenings. That would be something that is probably impossible to figure out.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6-wczHGRHk/

(Jesus, the baseball trill at the beginning is so loud! I don’t get this film. Remember that film that you liked? And the sequel you … tolerated. This is a totally different team with all the most aggravating characters being the only ones we brought back.)

Directors – John Warren – ( BMT: Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Oh wow, he directed and wrote the very early Pauly Shore film The Curse of the Inferno. How wild. Played like 10 times on television too improbably.)

Writers – David S. Ward – ( Known For: The Sting; Sleepless in Seattle; Major League; The Program; The Milagro Beanfield War; Cannery Row; I’ll Find You; Steelyard Blues; Saving Grace; Future BMT: Flyboys; King Ralph; The Sting II; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: This would just be for the characters I imagine from the originals. The Program is a wild film which I will be watching soon. Remember all the controversy surrounding that? Read about it.)

John Warren – ( Known For: Naked in New York; Flashfire; Girl in the Cadillac; BMT: Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Flashfire starring Billy Zane with Harry. I genuinely kind of watch to watch it, it is probably terrible enough to be a friend.)

Actors – Scott Bakula – ( Known For: American Beauty; Source Code; The Informant!; Life as a House; Behind the Candelabra; Lord of Illusions; Cats Don’t Dance; Geography Club; My Family/Mi familia; Elsa & Fred; The Captains; Basmati Blues; Summertime; Me Him Her; Divinity; Enter the Dangerous Mind; A Passion to Kill; Future BMT: Necessary Roughness; Sibling Rivalry; BMT: Color of Night; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Nominated for five Emmys, four times for Quantum Leap, and for Behind the Candelabra. Again, I genuinely kind of want to watch A Passion to Kill, a weirdo obscure 90s thriller.)

Corbin Bernsen – ( Known For: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; Major League; The Big Year; King Kong; The Hating Game; Lay the Favorite; The Dentist; The Great White Hype; Tales from the Hood; S.O.B.; The Dentist 2; Suing the Devil; Clambake; Disorganized Crime; Dead Air; Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist; Sunrise in Heaven; Christian Mingle; Three the Hard Way; Roe v. Wade; Future BMT: Shattered; Radioland Murders; Hello Again; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: All of his future BMT are lame, but like … The Dentist series will have to be done in some capacity at some point. The Franchise Man demands it.)

Dennis Haysbert – ( Known For: Heat; Wreck-It Ralph; Kung Fu Panda 2; Ted 2; Jarhead; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Mr. Peabody & Sherman; Major League; Breach; Absolute Power; Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas; Far from Heaven; Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers; No Exit; Dear White People; Love & Basketball; Secret Obsession; Naked; Kodachrome; Experimenter; Future BMT: The Thirteenth Floor; Men, Women & Children; Think Like a Man Too; Playing with Fire; Mr. Baseball; Summer Camp; BMT: The Dark Tower; Fist Fight; Major League II; Random Hearts; Navy Seals; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: I’m surprised he wasn’t nominated even once for 24, the second season would have made a lot of sense. And wow, he was also in Mr. Baseball. So into baseball.)

Budget/Gross – $18 million / Domestic: $3,572,443 (Worldwide: $3,572,443)

(That is hilariously low, but not surprising. I remember renting this from All-Star Video. I suppose as a kid I watched the first two on television, and then this came out and I was like yes yes yes …. No! That’s my reaction when I watch it finally.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (4/18)

(Wow, way higher than the second. Let’s see about a consensus: Dull and unwatchable. An ignominious end to an already dumb series.)

Reviewer Highlight: Yogi, it’s deja vu all over again.

Poster – Majorly Ugh: We’re Back, Jack!

(Honestly better than the second one. I’m not as embarrassed for this poster because they (rightfully) went back to the basics. That font on “Back to the Minors” though is unfortunate. I believe it is meant to convey that this isn’t your daddy’s Major League. C+)

Tagline(s) – They’re Just Nine Players Short of a Dream Team (A)

(Ha! It’s long but I feel like it can only lose the “Just” so I just have to admit defeat. This is a god damn masterpiece. I’m still chuckling about it! A tagline! Beautiful.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Wild Wild West (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), Cool as Ice (1991), Wing Commander (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), On Deadly Ground (1994), Dudley Do-Right (1999), Double Team (1997), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), The Flintstones (1994), The Haunting (1999), Leprechaun (1993), Bats (1999), Fair Game (1995), Cool World (1992), North (1994), Body of Evidence (1993), Problem Child 2 (1991), …

Best Options (franchise): 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.2 3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994), 56.1 Son of the Pink Panther (1993), 52.3 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995), 52.3 Major League: Back to the Minors (1998), …

(Someday we’ll smash out some Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and it will be … well not glorious, but it’ll be something. The first was one of the first films we watched in theaters as a kid. The first was Hook. I fell asleep.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dennis Haysbert is No. 3 billed in Major League: Back to the Minors and No. 5 billed in Random Hearts, which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (3 + 5) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 15. If we were to watch Necessary Roughness, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Roger Dorn (Bernsen), Pedro Cerrano (Haysbert), Duke Temple (Yeager) and Harry Doyle (Uecker) are the only characters to appear in all three films in the Major League series.

In Roger Dorn’s Minnesota Twins owner suite, a number 4 Lou Collins jersey hangs in a case, a reference to Timothy Busfield’s character in Little Big League (1994).

Shot in early October in Charleston, South Carolina, 1997, during an unseasonably cool fall. All of the night scenes were made to look as though the games were being played during hot mid-summer nights, when in actuality, temperatures dipped into the 30’s.

The “South Carolina Buzz” were actually the Salt Lake Buzz – which was the Pacific Coast League farm team of the Minnesota Twins. Formerly the Portland Beavers, the franchise moved to Utah in 1994 and had 7 straight winning seasons. In 2001, the team became part of the Anaheim Angels organization under the name Salt Lake Stingers. Both team were named in honor of the Salt Lake Bees, who originally played in SLC on and off from 1915 to 1970. Since 2006, the team is once again called the Salt Lake Bees.

During a Milwaukee Brewers broadcast, Bob Uecker once talked about this film to his partner in the booth and asked him is he’d seen it. When the partner said he hadn’t, Uecker told him “Well don’t. That movie was so bad that it opened in airplanes the week we finished it.”

Major League II Preview

Major League II (1994) – BMeTric: 42.5; Notability: 51

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 12.8%; Notability: top 8.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.1%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, Street Fighter, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Junior, The Next Karate Kid, It’s Pat: The Movie, Double Dragon, On Deadly Ground, The Flintstones, North, The Fantastic Four, Leprechaun 2, 3 Ninjas Kick Back, Exit to Eden, In the Army Now, Color of Night, Car 54, Where Are You?, Richie Rich, Beverly Hills Cop III, Blank Check, and 12 more; Higher Notability: The Flintstones, Wyatt Earp, The Shadow, Beverly Hills Cop III, Ready to Wear, Love Affair, North, Radioland Murders, The Pagemaster, I Love Trouble, On Deadly Ground, Exit to Eden, Street Fighter, The Scout, Drop Zone, Blown Away, Speechless, Junior, D2: The Mighty Ducks, Baby’s Day Out, and 1 more; Lower RT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, It’s Pat: The Movie, Death Wish: The Face of Death, Wagons East, The Silence of the Hams, House Party 3, Car 54, Where Are You?, Holy Matrimony, Getting Even with Dad, A Low Down Dirty Shame; Notes: Major League II was shown 67 times in the 90s, that’s pretty crazy. Compare that to 52 to Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, 6 for Street Fighter, and 10 for Texas Chainsaw: The Next Generation. This is definitely a huuuuuuuuuge cable film around the time. You best belieb we’ve watched Silence of the Hams as well … on VHS. It is exclusive to VHS. Man, 1994 was a wild time.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Fans of “Major League” (1989) may want to see “Major League II.” I did not see the first film and am not in that category. Nor is there anything in “Major League II” that inspires me to go back and catch up on the earlier film. … There’s one bright spot: On the basis of this dismal attempt, the team will probably not be back next season.

(Ha! Wrong on that count. I can’t believe he didn’t see the first. It is a good film though, so I wonder if he ever did. There still isn’t a review of the original on the website.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGnW5gh4WZE/

(Hahaha, the voice over. The number of people they replaced is sunny. Honestly Epps is arguably better than Snipes. But making the dumb fans a bigger deal with Randy Quaid is one of the many mistakes this film makes.)

Directors – David S. Ward – ( Known For: Major League; The Program; Cannery Row; Future BMT: Down Periscope; King Ralph; BMT: Major League II; Notes: Man, should I read Cannery Row? Steinbeck. Tempting. All of his directorial efforts were huge 90s television hits.)

Writers – David S. Ward – ( Known For: The Sting; Sleepless in Seattle; Major League; The Program; The Milagro Beanfield War; Cannery Row; I’ll Find You; Steelyard Blues; Saving Grace; Future BMT: Flyboys; King Ralph; The Sting II; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: He won the Oscar for The Sting, and was nominated for Sleepless in Seattle. King Ralph, we are coming for you.)

R.J. Stewart – ( Known For: The Rundown; And God Created Woman; BMT: Major League II; Notes: And God Created Woman seems like a ridiculous film. “Robin marries Billy to get out of jail” … how does that follow?)

Tom S. Parker and Jim Jennewein – ( Known For: Stay Tuned; Future BMT: Richie Rich; Getting Even with Dad; BMT: The Flintstones; Major League II; Notes: Stay Tuned is a wild wild film. And wait, Jeffery Jones was in that and Mom and Dad Save the World? Two ridiculous ideas.)

Actors – Charlie Sheen – ( Known For: Platoon; Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; Being John Malkovich; Wall Street; Hot Shots!; Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; Hot Shots! Part Deux; Badlands; Major League; Young Guns; Red Dawn; The Arrival; Eight Men Out; The Chase; The Wraith; Lucas; Foodfight!; Beyond the Law; Good Advice; Cadence; Future BMT: Due Date; Scary Movie 3; Scary Movie 4; Machete Kills; The Three Musketeers; Loaded Weapon 1; Money Talks; The Rookie; Men at Work; The Big Bounce; Madea’s Witness Protection; All Dogs Go to Heaven 2; Shadow Conspiracy; BMT: Scary Movie V; Major League II; Navy Seals; Terminal Velocity; Notes: Nominated for four Emmys all for Two and a Half Men. Cadence. A real film starring Charlie and Martin Sheen that played on television 66 times in the 90s.)

Tom Berenger – ( Known For: Inception; Training Day; Platoon; Born on the Fourth of July; Faster; Major League; The Big Chill; Gettysburg; Eye See You; The Substitute; Shoot to Kill; The Sentinel; Brake; Someone to Watch Over Me; The Gingerbread Man; The Dogs of War; Bad Country; A Murder of Crows; Looking for Mr. Goodbar; Eddie and the Cruisers; Future BMT: Sniper; Shattered; Chasers; Betrayed; Rustlers’ Rhapsody; BMT: Sliver; Major League II; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Platoon. I just watched him in Fear City. His hair was incredible, but not enough Billy Dee Williams.)

Corbin Bernsen – ( Known For: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; Major League; The Big Year; King Kong; The Hating Game; Lay the Favorite; The Dentist; The Great White Hype; Tales from the Hood; S.O.B.; The Dentist 2; Suing the Devil; Clambake; Disorganized Crime; Dead Air; Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist; Sunrise in Heaven; Christian Mingle; Three the Hard Way; Roe v. Wade; Future BMT: Shattered; Radioland Murders; Hello Again; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for L.A. Law. He really was in some junk in the 90s. Like Aurora: Operation Intercept … what is that? Played 16 times on television, so it was a real film people could have watched.)

Budget/Gross – $25 million / Domestic: $30,626,182 (Worldwide: $30,626,182)

(That is terrible. Like … really terrible. The only odd thing is Major League only made $50 million. How did it become such a phenomenon. I would have definitely guessed it was one of those $100 million comedies of the 90s.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 5% (1/21): Striking out on every joke, Major League II is a lazy sequel that belongs on the bench.

(My god that is low. I’m not surprised. The film is genuinely quite racist and weird. It isn’t funny, and is just annoying. I guess I’m saying that the percentage makes sense.)

Reviewer Highlight: Baseball’s wild bunch from Cleveland take the field again. Plods ahead with cliches. Pleasantly predictable. – New York Times listings

Poster – Majorly Ugh 2

(I’m actually embarrassed for this poster. At least it’s got that beautiful, beautiful font and crazy baseball mascot. C)

Tagline(s) – The dream team is back! (F)

(Nooooooooooooo! The dream team is back?! Nooooooooooo! I seriously would have given it a D if they added a “Jack” to the end.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

(This is a bonus. Back to the Minors is the actual choice and is pretty solid. 50+. We did consider Children of the Corn at one point.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dennis Haysbert is No. 4 billed in Major League II and No. 5 billed in Random Hearts, which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (4 + 5) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 16. If we were to watch In Too Deep we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Baker’s inability to throw the ball back to the pitcher was based on former New York Mets catcher Mackey Sasser. Sasser was very successful at throwing out runners attempting to steal second, but had a mental block causing him to flinch several times when trying to throw the ball back to the pitcher. Many baserunners took advantage of this affliction and stole bases while he was triple pumping his throw, and/or lollipopping the throw back.

While Camden Yards doubled as Cleveland Municipal Stadium, scenes depicting Indians road games were filmed mostly at nearby Baltimore Memorial Stadium.

The character Isuro Tanaka was something of an anomaly of that time. At the time of the film’s release, there were no Japanese players in the Major Leagues, and only one Japanese player had ever played (briefly) for a ML team. The influx of Japanese players in US Major League baseball didn’t begin until a few years after the film’s release.

Wesley Snipes wasn’t able to reprise his role of Willie Mays Hayes, and was replaced with Omar Epps

Kevin Hickey, who plays Indians pitcher Schoup, made his major debut in 1981 as a pitcher for the Chicago White Sox, the very team the fictional pitcher Schoup plays against in the film.

Saw III Preview

In the following weeks, Patrick and Kyle hatch a plan to catch whoever it was that was watching them. Perhaps this mysterious person had some insight into their predicament. They would have included Jamie in the plans, but without any jorts to wear he sat around in his deafness, covered in mud and wearing only a shirt. “He could at least wear a shirt that wasn’t skin-tight,” grumbled Kyle. They hear Jamie whine from the other room, “are you talking about me? Are you talking about my tight shirt? It’s the only one I have where the v-neck is deep enough. You can’t expect me to be deaf and unfashionable.” They move further away from Jamie’s lair to continue hatching the plan. “Remember how we caught Santa Claus?” Patrick asks, but Kyle gives him a blank look. “Oh right, that was with Jamie. Shit.” This is going terribly. Suddenly the hairs on Patrick’s neck stand up again and he shushes Kyle. “Do you feel that?” He asks and Kyle nods his head vigorously. The feeling was right behind them… as if whoever it was was actually watching Jamie and not them at all. They sneak around the side of the house and look through the window. Kyle quickly turns away and tries to stop Patrick. His eyes are wide at what he just saw. “Don’t. Please,” he begs, “it’s horrible. You won’t be able to shake what you have seen.” But this only intrigues Patrick. Sure he liked seeing romantic things or funny things, but there was something almost irresistible about seeing something horrific on occasion. He pushes Kyle out of the way and takes a gander through the window. “My god,” he whispers, his face frozen in a mask of terror at what he saw too. That’s right! We are watching Saw II (and Saw III). This entire venture has been to try to get some franchises going that have somehow escaped our prying eyes. No more! Let’s go!

Saw III (2006) – BMeTric: 27.7; Notability: 37

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 28.0%; Notability: top 26.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 27.8%; Higher BMeT: Date Movie, The Wicker Man, Ultraviolet, Pledge This!, Material Girls, Little Man, Basic Instinct 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Zoom, The Shaggy Dog, The Marine, Big Momma’s House 2, DOA: Dead or Alive, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, Pulse, Black Christmas, Crossover, Phat Girlz, Eragon, Scary Movie 4, and 50 more; Higher Notability: Poseidon, Eragon, The Da Vinci Code, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Scary Movie 4, The Wild, The Pink Panther, Click, Smokin’ Aces, The Guardian, The Black Dahlia, All the King’s Men, Zoom, Just My Luck, School for Scoundrels, The Shaggy Dog, Happily N’Ever After, Lady in the Water, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, Factory Girl, and 47 more; Lower RT: The Contract, Pledge This!, Crossover, Material Girls, The Covenant, Zoom, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Big Momma’s House 2, Deck the Halls, Basic Instinct 2, Happily N’Ever After, Date Movie, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, Ultraviolet, When a Stranger Calls, Annapolis, Stay Alive, See No Evil, Pulse, The Grudge 2, and 49 more; Notes: Only 8 of the top 20 by BMeT and I think only 4 of the top 20 by RT. Quite a sparse year for us somehow. Even looking through just nothing really jumps out as a must see beyond The Wicker Man. Bizarre.

New York Times – The “Saw” franchise rasps on with “Saw III,” a deadening barrage of grungy rooms, mortified flesh and elaborate torture. … The most depressing thing about this series is not the creativity of the bloodletting but the bleak view of human nature, specifically our talent for ruining the present to avenge the past. In the opening scene, a man frees himself from an ankle restraint by pulverizing his foot with a brick; fortunately, all we have to do is get up and leave.- Jeannette Catsoulis

(Yeah, so isn’t this often the case. Jamie’s favorite example is in the book Sliver the author basically keeps saying: hey don’t you just want to spy on people and peep on them? And as you are reading the reader is, I imagine, mostly like “no you weirdo.” Saw is similar. It is like “What choice would you make? Kill four people who harmed your family, or forgive them and live your life.” And I’m like … uh, forgive? Why would I murder some people? And yet these questions are often asked as if it is the trolly problem or something. The choices in Saw are rarely difficult: save people and be a good person. And yet everyone in these films suffer from a severe case of garbage-person-itis it would seem. Go figure.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLLDDSknHaI/

(Do you want to play a game? Not really. Also these games seem dumb. As usual it is like: if you want to live all you have to do is melt all your fingers off with acid. And I would be like … no thanks. This trailer is also very close to the joke Jamie makes about the films: “Want to hear my impression of the Saw films? ARGGGHHHHHHH ARGH ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH”. Aggravating.)

Directors – Darren Lynn Bousman – ( Known For: Repo! The Genetic Opera; Mother’s Day; Tales of Halloween; 11-11-11; Death of Me; St. Agatha; The Barrens; Abattoir; The Cello; Alleluia! The Devil’s Carnival; Future BMT: Saw IV; Spiral; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: Oh snap, I didn’t even realize above that he directed two through four. That’s wild. All of them sucked apparently. Got nixed on the writing credit this time it seems.)

Writers – Leigh Whannell – ( Known For: Saw; Insidious; The Invisible Man; Upgrade; Insidious: Chapter 3; Saw X; Cooties; The Mule; Future BMT: Insidious: Chapter 2; Saw IV; Saw V; Saw VI; Saw 3D; Dead Silence; Jigsaw; Insidious: The Last Key; Spiral; Insidious: The Red Door; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: He back baby. I wonder how many of these he has sole writing credit on.)

James Wan – ( Known For: Aquaman; Saw; The Conjuring 2; M3GAN; The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It; Malignant; Annabelle Comes Home; Saw X; The Nun II; Future BMT: Insidious: Chapter 2; Saw IV; Saw V; Saw VI; Saw 3D; Dead Silence; Jigsaw; Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom; Spiral; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; The Nun; Notes: Only story credit, but kind of weird he didn’t get one for the second and then pops back in for the third. I wonder if it points to them trying to get the franchise back on track … didn’t seem to work. Don’t worry, soon they’ll realize that all they need to be is as extreme as possible and they are good to go.)

Actors – Tobin Bell – ( Known For: Goodfellas; Saw; The Firm; Manhattan; Tootsie; In the Line of Fire; Mississippi Burning; The Road to El Dorado; The Quick and the Dead; Saw X; Sophie’s Choice; The Verdict; Malice; 12 Feet Deep; Boogeyman 2; An Innocent Man; The 4th Floor; Boogeyman 3; The Call; Belzebuth; Future BMT: Saw IV; Saw V; Saw VI; Saw 3D; Jigsaw; Boiling Point; Loose Cannons; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: Helllllll yeah Tobin. He was nearly 50 when he really broke into film. There is very little about what he did prior to getting bit roles in 1979, but at that point he was already well into his 30s, so maybe he was getting an advanced degree or was a teacher or something? Wild career.)

Shawnee Smith – ( Known For: Saw; The Island; Leaving Las Vegas; Saw X; Annie; The Blob; Summer School; The Grudge 3; Breakfast of Champions; Grace Unplugged; Jayne Mansfield’s Car; Bloodline Killer; Female Perversions; Carnival of Souls; Kill Speed; A Slipping-Down Life; The Low Life; Dogtown; Men; Christmas vs. The Walters; Future BMT: Saw IV; Saw VI; Who’s Harry Crumb?; Desperate Hours; Believe; BMT: Armageddon; Saw II; Saw III; Iron Eagle; Notes: She was a kid actor (and acted in Iron Eagle, amazing). The actors in the franchise are so interesting, she was around 35 when she was in the first one. She’s old enough to have been a young 24 year old actress in an episode of Murder She Wrote.)

Angus Macfadyen – ( Known For: Braveheart; Equilibrium; We Bought a Zoo; The Lost City of Z; Titus; Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood; Cradle Will Rock; .45; Horizon: An American Saga – Chapter 1; 3022; Robert the Bruce; Still Breathing; Hirokin: The Last Samurai; Steel Rain 2; Copperhead; Unnatural Causes; The Pleasure Drivers; The Brylcreem Boys; The Lost Language of Cranes; Fatwa; Future BMT: Saw IV; Saw VI; Warriors of Virtue; BMT: Saw III; Redline; Notes: Oh snap, this guy is in Horizon? Buckle up, I have three hours of a boring Western to watch. Scottish, and so yeah, famous for being Robert the Bruce in Braveheart.)

Budget/Gross – $10,000,000 / Domestic: $80,238,724 (Worldwide: $164,874,275)

(Prints. Money. Horror franchises are ridiculous, and it is kind of sad that something like this got famous and then people tried to emulate it because honestly it is not scary, not gross, and mostly just dumb. Hot take.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (28/95): Saw III does little beyond repeating its predecessor’s tropes on a gorier level.

(Yes, and? Oh, yeah, right, that’s a bad thing. I 100% agree though, the franchise becomes less interesting and grosser the longer it goes on. The exception seems to be (and isn’t it always) once they take an extended break things can realign a bit with people realizing what is actually interesting about the films instead of focusing on one upping themselves.)

Reviewer Highlight: Saw III is gross and squirmy, but it’s got a lot of brains and heart to go along with its guts. Better than Saw and Saw II combined. – Steve Tilley, Toronto Sun

Poster – Death Spa 3: Blood Bath

(I actually don’t even understand this from the point of view of Saw… was the trap that someone had a saw attached to three teeth? Or maybe this was hanging in front of them and balanced in some way and Jigsaw was like “You want to play a game? You have to pull out all your teeth and attach it to the saw to keep it balanced or else it’ll fall and cut your femoral artery. You have 25 seconds.” C-)

Tagline(s) – This Halloween He’s Pulling Out All The Stops (C-)

(Hahahahahaha. Now that’s some funny shit.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

Top 10: The Matrix Revolutions (2003), The Butterfly Effect (2004), The Da Vinci Code (2006), The Fast and the Furious (2001), Men in Black II (2002), Man on Fire (2004), Click (2006), Pearl Harbor (2001), Fantastic Four (2005), Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Future BMT: 93.5 Date Movie (2006), 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.8 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.3 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.6 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 71.1 Soul Plane (2004), 70.6 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 70.3 Delta Farce (2007), 69.3 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Elektra (2005), …

(Ah yeah, I suppose people thought this was the worse of the two … I think I agree. Saw III has dumb people making dumb decisions and ruining their own lives mostly. The second one at least has some interesting ideas and played with time a bit.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tobin Bell is No. 1 billed in Saw III and No. 1 billed in Saw II, which also stars Donnie Wahlberg (No. 2 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 6 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 6) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch Saw V, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – The producers of this film asked the producers of Scary Movie 4 (2006) if they could use their bathroom set for this film as it was an exact replica of the sets used in Saw (2004) and Saw II (2005). They were given permission to use it.

As with the previous two films, only the actors who appeared in the final scene were given the complete script.

The film’s most graphic scene – Jigsaw’s brain surgery – remained completely uncut by the MPAA. The filmmakers argued that it was no different from what people would see in any medical documentary on TV.

During the brain surgery scene prop master James R. Murray had to hold Bahar Soomekh’s arms still for the close-up shots because she was unable to steady herself and keep the tool under control.

Costas Mandylor’s character – Detective Hoffman – is named as a tribute to the first two films’ late producer Gregg Hoffman.

Saw II Preview

Saw II (2005) – BMeTric: 17.0; Notability: 37

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 30.8%; Notability: top 23.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 33.2%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, The Fog, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, A Sound of Thunder, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Are We There Yet?, In the Mix, The Dukes of Hazzard, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, The Honeymooners, Dirty Love, Cursed, Stealth, and 57 more; Higher Notability: Kingdom of Heaven, Fantastic Four, Be Cool, Domino, Fun with Dick and Jane, Bewitched, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, Son of the Mask, The Great Raid, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth, Cursed, Flightplan, The Dukes of Hazzard, Æon Flux, The Ring Two, The Legend of Zorro, and 38 more; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Yours, Mine & Ours, Son of the Mask, Underclassman, A Sound of Thunder, The Perfect Man, Dirty Love, White Noise, Dirty Deeds, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Man of the House, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Æon Flux, Elektra, Edison, Are We There Yet?, The Wedding Date, and 62 more; Notes: Horror films are strange beasts. On the one hand fans are usually the harshest critics and so a lot of them have gaudy BMeT numbers. But then fans of specific series end up loving them all. We’ve seen 12/20 of the top BMeT for the year, which is fun.

New York Times – Last year’s mercilessly unpleasant “Saw” was an unexpected Halloween treat for horror fans fed up with the genre’s recent shift toward tongue-in-cheek. “Saw II,” directed by a newcomer, Darren Lynn Bousman, delivers similar hard-core, practically humorless frights and hair-raising tension, but only after getting past a shaky beginning that plays more like a forensics-themed television show than a scary movie. … By the time the final twists start exposing themselves and the title tool makes a welcome cameo appearance, it’s fully apparent that this sequel is more trick than treat and doesn’t really compare to its fine predecessor – though it still manages to be eye-opening (and sometimes positively nauseating) in itself. – Laura Kern

(Yeah, the film seems like a CSI knock-off version of Saw. Saw is a weird film (in that the acting is well and truly dire) but is somewhat intriguing in stripping down horror to its basest pieces. Saw II takes all the bad bits and amplifies it, straining credulity in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y979drB7EEI/

(ARRRRGH ARGH ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH. Classic Saw. These films are so bad and annoying haha. And this trailer makes this one look even worse than I would have imagined.)

Directors – Darren Lynn Bousman – ( Known For: Repo! The Genetic Opera; Mother’s Day; Tales of Halloween; 11-11-11; Death of Me; St. Agatha; The Barrens; Abattoir; The Cello; Alleluia! The Devil’s Carnival; Future BMT: Saw IV; Spiral; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: Can you guess what The Cello is about? Dang, yeah, it’s about a haunted cello, how did you know? The only other thing I’m going to say about this guy is that he needs a new haircut or imdb picture stat!)

Writers – Leigh Whannell – ( Known For: Saw; Insidious; The Invisible Man; Upgrade; Insidious: Chapter 3; Saw X; Cooties; The Mule; Future BMT: Insidious: Chapter 2; Saw IV; Saw V; Saw VI; Saw 3D; Dead Silence; Jigsaw; Insidious: The Last Key; Spiral; Insidious: The Red Door; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: He’s in the original film and maybe it is because it is low budget, or maybe because he’s Australian, but he is dire in it. Amazing he also wrote Insidious.)

Darren Lynn Bousman – ( Known For: Tales of Halloween; 11-11-11; The Barrens; BMT: Saw II; Notes: Kind of strange he got a credit, it was basically his first feature credit, and he walked into an already established franchise.)

Actors – Donnie Wahlberg – ( Known For: The Sixth Sense; Ransom; What Doesn’t Kill You; Bullet; Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing & Charm School; 1 1/2 Ritter – Auf der Suche nach der hinreißenden Herzelinde; Body Count; Diamond Men; Tooken; Triggermen; Southie; Black Circle Boys; Bullfighter; Butter; Future BMT: Saw IV; Dead Silence; Annapolis; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Dreamcatcher; Righteous Kill; Zookeeper; Notes: You know Donnie … of New Kids on the Block? … Mark’s older brother? … Blue Bloods star? There it is, yeah, he’s famous for being in Blue Bloods. And this I guess. And five seconds of The Sixth Sense.)

Beverley Mitchell – ( Known For: Extreme Movie; Snowmen; Dance Baby Dance; Future BMT: The Crow: City of Angels; BMT: Saw II; Notes: You might ask yourself, was she on nearly 250 episodes of 7th Heaven? Yes she was. And you best believe I’m watching Candy Cane Christmas someday, looks amazing.)

Franky G – ( Known For: The Italian Job; Dead Man Down; Confidence; Wonderland; The Devil’s Tomb; The Birthday Cake; Manito; 36 Saints; Future BMT: Saw 3D; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: Probably most famous for the tv show Power. Actual name: Frank Gonzalez.)

Budget/Gross – $4,000,000 / Domestic: $87,039,965 (Worldwide: $147,748,505)

(This is why you make horror films. This film is genuinely terrible and it made a 30x return or whatever. Printing money.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 37% (46/124): Saw II is likely to please the gore-happy fans of the original, though it may be too gruesome for those not familiar with first film’s premise.

(Who is going into Saw II being like “I wonder what this is about?” I don’t think any of the early Saw films satisfy the people actually looking for crazy stuff. Mostly, people are in situations where if they used their brains for five seconds they would get out of it. The needle bit in this one is maybe the worst of it though, so there is something there.)

Reviewer Highlight: Saw II has teeth, and this house-of-horrors franchise has legs, though they’re manacled to the radiator. – Kyle Smith, New York Post

Poster – Death Spa 2: Skin Peel

(God, if there were ever a set of posters that perfectly explained how much the Saw films are not my kind of films, these are the ones. Just like “you want to see people break their fingernails trying to get out of impossible traps?” and it’s like not really. It’s just so bland too. C+.)

Tagline(s) – Oh, yes. There will be blood. (B-)

(My word. I also had to look up and see which came first, this tagline or the film. This tagline predating There Will Be Blood. It appears to be a biblical quote, but really much funnier to think that PTA saw the poster for Saw II and was like “That would be a good title.” So I’ll be kind to it.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

Best Options (franchise): 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 81.8 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.3 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 69.1 Black Christmas (2006), 67.5 Seed of Chucky (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.8 The Grudge 2 (2006), 64.3 Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006), 61.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.3 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 59.7 Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004), 58.8 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 58.2 Scooby-Doo (2002), 55.0 Honey (2003), 51.5 Scary Movie 3 (2003), 49.4 The Omen (2006), 49.0 Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2000), 46.4 Daddy Day Care (2003), 44.7 The Hitcher (2007), 42.8 Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003), 41.0 Blade: Trinity (2004), 39.6 The Art of War (2000), 39.6 Beauty Shop (2005), 37.3 Saw IV (2007), 37.2 Just Visiting (2001), 37.0 The Amityville Horror (2005), 36.6 A Cinderella Story (2004), 36.4 Friday After Next (2002), 33.3 Rugrats Go Wild (2003), 33.3 House of 1000 Corpses (2003), 32.4 Pokémon 3 the Movie: Spell of the Unown (2000), 31.3 Arthur and the Invisibles (2006), 30.8 Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004), 30.3 Hannibal Rising (2007), 28.5 Next Friday (2000), 27.7 Saw III (2006), 27.7 Resident Evil: Extinction (2007), 27.6 Rush Hour 3 (2007), 26.6 TMNT (2007), 26.4 Pokémon the Movie 2000 (1999), 24.8 Meet the Fockers (2004), 24.6 Johnny English (2003), 22.7 Digimon: The Movie (2000), 21.8 The Punisher (2004), 21.6 Van Wilder (2002), 21.3 Star Trek: Nemesis (2002), 19.1 Step Up (2006), 17.0 The Da Vinci Code (2006), 17.0 Resident Evil (2002), 17.0 Saw II (2005), 17.0 Bad Boys II (2003), 16.9 The Chronicles of Riddick (2004), 14.8 The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 14.8 Final Destination (2000), 14.7 Underworld: Evolution (2006), 12.7 Hannibal (2001), 9.3 Underworld (2003), 3.1 The Butterfly Effect (2004)

(Pretty low. So, why did we do it? Well we wanted a horror franchise and this one has a ton of movies, so it was nice to knock off two now while the getting was good.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Donnie Wahlberg is No. 2 billed in Saw II and No. 6 billed in Righteous Kill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 6) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 15. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – To conceal the ending, most of the actors were not given the last 25 pages of the script. Only the principal actors involved in the sequence knew.

It took four days for four people to replace all of the syringe tips with fiber tips for the “Needle Pit” trap.

The bathroom, which was the main set for Saw (2004), had to be recreated for this film.

Five alternate endings were shot.

Shawnee Smith was pregnant during filming, but kept it a secret from everyone, including the director, Darren Lynn Bousman. Her daughter gave the secret away one day during lunch, but only to Darren Lynn Bousman.