Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Preview

We are Sklogpacking right across Europe and there is literally no other choice for the comedy entry in the cycle than the film for this week. Based on historical evidence this will either be an underrated comedy that he hold close to our hearts… or it will literally be the worst thing we’ve ever seen. That’s right! We’re watching Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo. Obviously watching this critically reviled sequel will involve a bonus viewing of the first film (generally thought to be bad, but at least better than the second film). The sequel took Rob Schneider to beautiful Amsterdam to attempt to figure out who was out killing Male Gigolos across Europe. If it can at least not be a lazy sack of shit then it should come out on top of Strange Wilderness… I’m not holding out hope. Also a reminder that we now have the European mapl.de.map up on the website if you want to check it out. Let’s go!

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005) – BMeTric: 74.3

DeuceBigalowEuropeanGigolo_BMeT

DeuceBigalowEuropeanGigolo_RV

(A goddamned catastrophe, sub-5.0 with 40K votes is incredible. And it just goes there and sticks for the most part. If that rating hadn’t actually moved over the years I would think we were dealing with a BMT legend, but in reality this film is likely just very very terrible.)

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Ads for this woefully unfunny sequel show Schneider sitting under a phallic Leaning Tower of Pisa that appears to be protruding from his groin area. This would have been the film’s best joke – except it’s not in the film; nor is any other form of humor. Deuce is sent to Holland to train as a high-end Euro man whore. When he discovers some of his fellow gigolos are being killed, he jumps undercover(s). Can we possibly prevent another sequel? Famous faces appear in cameos, if that matters to you.

(Rough undercover(s) joke there, but, then again, this review was also funnier than this movie. It has been a while since we hit a BOMB from Maltin (especially since we tend to default to RogerEbert.com for recent films, since Maltin’s book is defunct). It is good to see that we definitely hit the worst Amsterdam has to offer us.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDTU4-tLR_g

(Oh wow they used the worst joke in the film (the wine coming out of the tracheotomy) in the trailer and as the closer. That is incredible. Not to tip my hand, but having seen the film … this trailer somehow makes the film look less crass and stupid than it actually is. It is so gross and dumb. Hopefully this trailer dissuaded you from ever watching this pile of garbage.)

Directors – Mike Bigelow – (BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Notes: One and done, one and done. He was a commercial director with quite a bit of acclaim. A tale as old a time, commercial director gets a break, and then doesn’t do any other movies.)

Writers – Harris Goldberg (characters) – (Future BMT: I’ll Be Home for Christmas; Without a Paddle; BMT: The Master of Disguise; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: Was an actor on a show called 30 Dates to a Soul Mate in 2012 which lasted 23 episodes, although it is a little unclear what platform the show was made for.)

Rob Schneider (characters & story & screenplay) – (Future BMT: The Animal; The Hot Chick; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: Has been a writer on both of his recent television shows as well which lasted, together, 24 episodes.)

David Garrett (screenplay) – (Future BMT: Corky Romano; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Notes: Is an accomplished trial lawyer who is (was?) Vice-President of development at Intrigue Entertainment.)

Jason Ward (screenplay) – (Future BMT: Corky Romano; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Notes: Was a writer on the Fran Drescher television show Living with Fran.)

Actors – Rob Schneider – (Known For: 50 First Dates; Big Daddy; Muppets from Space; Future BMT: Littleman; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Animal; Norm of the North; Little Nicky; Knock Off; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; The Hot Chick; InAPPropriate Comedy; Eight Crazy Nights; Sandy Wexler; Surf Ninjas; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Mr. Deeds; You May Not Kiss the Bride; The Adventures of Pinocchio; The Waterboy; Bedtime Stories; Down Periscope; Big Stan; Click; The Longest Yard; Necessary Roughness; Home Alone 2: Lost in New York; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Ridiculous 6; The Beverly Hillbillies; Judge Dredd; The Benchwarmers; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Around the World in 80 Days; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Demolition Man; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Nominee for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Screen Couple for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2007 for Littleman, and The Benchwarmers; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; and in 2011 for Grown Ups; and Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Grandma’s Boy, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Little Nicky, Littleman, The Animal, The Benchwarmers, and The Hot Chick; Notes: Remember the girl selling girl scout cookies in the first Deuce Bigalow movie? That was his daughter Elle King.)

Eddie Griffin – (Known For: The Last Boy Scout; Undercover Brother; Jason’s Lyric; Brain Donors; The Wendell Baker Story; Future BMT: Date Movie; Coneheads; Scary Movie 3; The Meteor Man; House Party 3; My Baby’s Daddy; American Hero; The New Guy; Double Take; Armageddon; Foolish; The Walking Dead; BMT: Norbit; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Redline; Pinocchio; Notes: There aren’t many reviews out so far (the one I found was quite positive), but he has a new Showtime stand-up special airing soon, which dominates his newsfeed.)

Jeroen Krabbé – (Known For: Ocean’s Twelve; The Fugitive; EverAfter; The Living Daylights; Dangerous Beauty; Immortal Beloved; Scandal; The Prince of Tides; An Ideal Husband; King of the Hill; The Fourth Man; Kafka; Spetters; Soldier of Orange; Crossing Delancey; Farinelli; Turtle Diary; A World Apart; Future BMT: The Punisher; Jumpin’ Jack Flash; Transporter 3; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; No Mercy; Notes: Dutch, he’s been married to his wife for over 50 years!)

Budget/Gross – $22 million / Domestic: $22,400,154 (Worldwide: $45,109,561)

(That is pretty rough. To just make back the reported budget is bad, but to do it at a time when Sandler was just turning out $100 million comedies like it was the easiest thing in the world probably but a nail in the coffin of Schneider’s leading man career.)

#46 for the Comedy – R-Rated Youth genre

deucebigalow2_r-ratedcomedy

(I won’t reiterate what I said in the Deuce Bigalow preview, but here the amusing thing is that Deuce Bigalow came out during the American Pie meteoric rise of the genre. This on the other hand sits right at the point where people were just churning out mostly garbage sequels … so it fits right in naturally.)

#91 for the Comedy – Sequel (Live Action) genre

deucebigalow2_comedysequel

(Ha, you can almost convince yourself that this movie actually made producers look at each other and say “alright then, I think that about does that, let’s get some original ideas in here so that we can make sequels again in 5 years”. I always note the wave form of these plots whenever a sequel comes up, which is exactly that I think. Hollywood going through periods of making originals, then making their sequels, rinse and repeat.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 9% (9/99): A witless follow-up to the surprise 1999 hit, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo is raunchy, politically incorrect, and not particularly funny.

(Alright … politically incorrect is putting it mildly. Having actually seen this already this is bar-none the most homophobic film you’ll watch anytime soon. They drop the f-word like it is nothing, without a care in the world. It is shocking. Different time and all that, but … if I was in charge of this film I would have pulled as many DVD copies back in to edit some of the shit out and quickly as possible. It just comes across very very poorly.)

Poster – Deuce Bigelow European Gigosklog (D)

deuce_bigalow_european_gigolo

(I do not like this poster for a variety of reasons but I think I’m inordinately bothered by the fact that this features the Leaning Tower of Pisa and yet is almost entirely set in Amsterdam… why? It would be like if the first one had the Empire State Building as a stand in for his penis. It doesn’t make sense and is unacceptable. Oh and nothing else is good about it either.)

Tagline(s) – For the women of Europe… The price of love just got a lot cheaper. (C-)

(Too long and not clever, although at least a bit better than the first one. It’s just so old fashioned.)

Keyword(s) – prostitute; Top Ten by BMeTric: 92.3 Date Movie (2006); 87.4 BloodRayne (2005); 77.8 Basic Instinct 2 (2006); 74.3 Wild Wild West (1999); 74.3 Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005); 72.7 Jonah Hex (2010); 66.9 Extreme Movie (2008); 65.3 Baise-moi (2000); 64.7 The Crow: City of Angels (1996); 63.6 The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005);

(Hopefully we never watch Extreme Movie. But this does remind me of one of the goals of the Bad Movie Twins over the coming months: watch more of the bad movies we had seen before we started the Bad Movie Twins Media Empire. They deserve the treatment we decided, so Wild Wild West here we come.)

Notes – Upon learning that the film received 5 Golden Raspberry (‘Razzie’) Award nominations, Rob Schneider himself took out a full page ad in the trades, boasting that the film was nominated for Worst Picture, Worst Actor – Rob Schneider, Worst Remake or Sequel, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Screen Couple – Rob Schneider and his diaper. Schneider later won the Worst Actor award. (Good for him? If he really wanted to impress though he would have attended and accepted the award in person. People get a ton of props for that every time)

The song that is being whistled throughout the movie is entitled “Something Stupid” (Good to know)

Roger Ebert hated the movie so much that he told Rob Schneider, “Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.” Ebert recounted this incident in his book, “Your Movie Sucks.” Schneider later sent Ebert flowers when Ebert was in the hospital with cancer. Ebert said that he was moved by Schneider’s gesture and that he hoped he’d someday see Schneider in a film he thought was great. (Awww. Kind of heartwarming. Sadly, and I’m really meaning no offense, I don’t think Ebert did ever see him in a film and thought it was great)

Happy Madison moved to Columbia to produce the sequel due to creative differences with Disney. Disney wanted a PG-13 sequel while Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider wanted it to be R-rated like the original. (Hmmm, probably a bad decision on Happy Madison’s part. The first was harmless and kind of charming enough in its own weird way. The second though … woof).

Rob Schneider twisted his ankle while filming the sword fight scene, the footage can be seen in the DVD Making of feature. (I wonder why I don’t get to see this hilarious footage, can’t be hiding those sweet extras from me).

Rachel Stevens, who appears as Louisa, the Dirty Girl, also performs the song heard over the end credits “I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)”. (WOW. I didn’t realize that was a singer, what a strange … cameo I guess you would call that).

Jeroen Krabbé was persuaded to be in the movie by his son, who was a big fan of the original Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999). (Poor choice)

Many of the Dutch extras and bit players in the movie are well-known actors and TV personalities in the Netherlands.

The word “man-whore” and it’s variations (“man-whoring” and “man-whores”) is said 47 times throughout the course of the movie. (Gross!)

The film is included on film critic Roger Ebert’s “Most Hated” list. In his zero-star review of the movie, he called it “aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience”, and as “a movie that [the film’s studio and producers] should be discussing in long, sad conversations with their inner child.” (YUP)

Awards

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor of the Decade (Rob Schneider)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Rob Schneider)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Rob Schneider)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Rob Schneider, David Garrett, Jason Ward)

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Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo Preview

We are Sklogpacking right across Europe and there is literally no other choice for the comedy entry in the cycle than the film for this week. Based on historical evidence this will either be an underrated comedy that he hold close to our hearts… or it will literally be the worst thing we’ve ever seen. That’s right! We’re watching Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo. Obviously watching this critically reviled sequel will involve a bonus viewing of the first film (generally thought to be bad, but at least better than the second film). The sequel took Rob Schneider to beautiful Amsterdam to attempt to figure out who was out killing Male Gigolos across Europe. If it can at least not be a lazy sack of shit then it should come out on top of Strange Wilderness… I’m not holding out hope. Also a reminder that we now have the European mapl.de.map up on the website if you want to check it out. Let’s go!

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999) – BMeTric: 42.5

DeuceBigalowMaleGigolo_BMeT

DeuceBigalowMaleGigolo_RV

(Actually … nothing super interesting here IMO. Inflection at 2011, increasing rating as votes increase, 50K is right around where I expect, and so is the BMeTric. We’ve done it guys, we’ve analyzed bad movie IMDb plots so thoroughly that they are rote.)

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars –  Professional fish-tank cleaner breaks an expensive tank, and in order to pay for it becomes a gigolo. (Why not?) Potty humor and outlandish situations abound, but Schneider’s character is surprisingly likeable in this silly comedy. Marlo Thomas appears unbilled. Followed by a sequel.

(Oh … we know it was followed by a sequel. This is basically my attitude about the film going into it. It kind of has that Happy Gilmore / Billy Madison vibe to it. Innocuous enough if you can accept the very silly and immature humor. It is not really surprising it would end up with 2.5 stars from Maltin who seems fairly accepting of films just being films even without deeper meaning necessarily.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wk_19DT6y9Y

(I love how they kind of had to show the gigolo (Antoine) hanging from the ceiling so that the way Deuce destroys the apartment with the same apparatus wouldn’t be confusing. This is also an incredibly long trailer, the entire part in the beginning with the killer Koi is completely useless. But, it also looks harmless enough.)

Directors – Mike Mitchell – (Known For: Trolls; Shrek Forever After; Sky High; The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water; Future BMT: Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked; Surviving Christmas; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: His two brothers launched an animation studio, which is probably why he mostly directs animated features at this point. That studio has gone bankrupt twice, and it doesn’t seem like he worked for them at all.)

Writers – Harris Goldberg (written by) – (Future BMT: I’ll Be Home for Christmas; Without a Paddle; BMT: The Master of Disguise; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: He at one point was the number two ranked tennis player in Canada, and played John McEnroe in the Canada Open.)

Rob Schneider (written by) – (Future BMT: The Animal; The Hot Chick; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: I cannot wait until we complete Rob Schneider’s writing credits. It seems like he started on SNL as a writer and converted to a player when Sandler and the rest of his crew joined in 1990.)

Actors – Rob Schneider – (Known For: 50 First Dates; Big Daddy; Muppets from Space; Future BMT: Littleman; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Animal; Norm of the North; Little Nicky; Knock Off; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; The Hot Chick; InAPPropriate Comedy; Eight Crazy Nights; Sandy Wexler; Surf Ninjas; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Mr. Deeds; You May Not Kiss the Bride; The Adventures of Pinocchio; The Waterboy; Bedtime Stories; Down Periscope; Big Stan; Click; The Longest Yard; Necessary Roughness; Home Alone 2: Lost in New York; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; The Ridiculous 6; The Beverly Hillbillies; Judge Dredd; The Benchwarmers; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Around the World in 80 Days; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Demolition Man; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Nominee for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Screen Couple for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in 2006; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2007 for Littleman, and The Benchwarmers; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 2000 for Big Daddy; in 2008 for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; and in 2011 for Grown Ups; and Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Grandma’s Boy, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Little Nicky, Littleman, The Animal, The Benchwarmers, and The Hot Chick; Notes: SNL alum and frequent collaborator with Happy Madison productions. He is currently on tour with Sandler doing comedy is seems, which is interesting.)

William Forsythe – (Known For: Once Upon a Time in America; The Rock; Dick Tracy; The Devil’s Rejects; Raising Arizona; The Substitute; American Me; Patty Hearst; Cloak & Dagger; City by the Sea; Extreme Prejudice; Hell’s Kitchen; The Waterdance; Lethal Vengeance; Weeds; Palookaville; Future BMT: Freedomland; Virtuosity; Hard Ca$h; Halloween; Out for Justice; Career Opportunities; Blue Streak; The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag; Loosies; Dead Bang; War on the Range; Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Firestorm; 88 Minutes; Stone Cold; Notes: By far the best note about him is that he co-starred with two NFL players in his career, Brian Bosworth in Stone Cold and Howie Long in Firestorm … we’ve seen both of those movies!)

Eddie Griffin – (Known For: The Last Boy Scout; Undercover Brother; Jason’s Lyric; Brain Donors; The Wendell Baker Story; Future BMT: Date Movie; The Mod Squad; Coneheads; Scary Movie 3; The Meteor Man; House Party 3; My Baby’s Daddy; American Hero; The New Guy; Double Take; Armageddon; Foolish; The Walking Dead; BMT: Norbit; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Redline; Pinocchio; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; Notes: Enrolled as a biological engineering major at the University of Miami, but dropped out to pursue comedy. Is ranked as a top 100 best stand-up performers in history by Comedy Central.)

Budget/Gross – $17 million / Domestic: $65,538,755 (Worldwide: $92,938,755)

(Not bad. Pretty promising for a non-Sandler Sandler film I would think. I mean, if you are using a second-rate lead you’d kind of expect a second-rate return, and that is more than enough to legitimize the sequel I would think.)

#28 for the Comedy – R-Rated Youth genre

deucebigalowmalegigolo_r-ratedcomedy

(Always an interesting category, mainly because it is a little confusing that Neighbors is on there but not the sequel … although I think it might be because the second was considered to be less of a frat house theme. Unclear. Anyways, two things, after the 80s boom died down the genre was somewhat relegated to direct-to-DVD. American Pie ushered in a new era, and then even after that Superbad / Knocked Up resulted in a second boom. The genre, I think, is once again relegated to VOD, although given teens still go to the movies a ton, some next-gen filmmaker will hit that feeling of going to high school in the early-2010s at some point. It’ll happen.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (17/75): According to critics, Deuce Bigalow is just too dumb and filled with old, tired gags.

(Considering this is Rotten Tomatoes perhaps the “According to critics” part is a bit redundant. Like … who else would it be according to? This consensus could be made about 80% of the Happy Madison productions.)

Poster – Deuce Gigosklog (A-)

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(I think this is a very clever poster. Artistically presents the entire premise of the film… ignoring the fact that the premise is incredibly thin. Some interesting font would have pushed to this A+ maybe.)

Tagline(s) – He’s not very good looking. But when the lights go out…he’s still not very good looking. (D+)

(This is a very long joke and probably not well used as a tagline. Gotta do better with a comedy film.)

Keyword(s) – male objectification; Top Ten by BMeTric: 90.3 Fifty Shades of Grey (2015); 88.7 Vampires Suck (2010); 87.2 Crossroads (I) (2002); 81.0 Sex and the City 2 (2010); 77.0 Fifty Shades Darker (2017); 75.4 Fifty Shades of Black (2016); 74.3 Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005); 73.7 Psycho (1998); 73.3 Zoolander 2 (2016); 72.2 Going Overboard (1989);

(We are coming for you Crossroads. Although I don’t really recall that film being particularly objectifying of men. At least … not in the same way as Deuce Bigalow is. Hmmm … this is making me explore my biases and I’m growing as a person. Thanks Deuce Bigalow: Make Gigolo.)

Notes – Rob Schneider’s mother Pilar Schneider appears in the film as the woman he mistakes for his date in the Japanese restaurant. (Yeah, I think Rob Schneider is half Asian, which is a kind of ludicrous explanation for why he played an offensive stereotype in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry).

In the scene where Deuce is walking with the tall woman and the phrase “freak” is shouted, the speaker of that line is actually Adam Sandler. Other than being a producer, it’s his only “credit” in the film. (Ugh)

The person who played the cookie girl was Rob Schneider’s daughter, Elle King. She would later go on to perform “Ex’s and Oh’s”, a song that received moderate airplay. At the time she was named Elle Tanner Schneider. (What the fuck, that song is pretty famous: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uLI6BnVh6w )

Even though Norm MacDonald was not in the official credits, he was given credit in a roundabout way at the end of the movie. A clip was shown of him as a bartender saying that Norm MacDonald only worked one day on the movie.

The exterior of the house that Deuce Bigelow is leaving with the giant woman is the same as the one used on the TV show Charmed (1998). (FUN FACT)

The first movie from Happy Madison Productions.

Although spelled differently, the name “Berguita” (Kate’s roommate) is a Spanish slang word for “little penis”, this being referred several times by William Forsythe’s character

When Deuce first meets Antoine and sees his weapon collection, Deuce says, “I collect Canadian quarters . . . I got about six of them”. After his first “job” when he goes to the bar, his bill totals $11.50. He gives the bartender (an uncredited Norm MacDonald) “Ten, and six quarters”, presumably his Canadian quarter collection and the total take from his first “job”. (Yeah I did notice this, but also expected Norm to say that those were Canadian and wouldn’t be accepted).

The game that Deuce and Ruth are attending was between the Anaheim Angels and Cleveland Indians. (I love this stuff. Mapping out the “facts” about a movie. I but you could pin down an exact-ish date using this, the entire film takes place in a three week span in which the Angles and Indians plays in Anaheim).

The girl in the pet shop was also in Sorority Boys and unknowingly shows her breasts through a wet shirt in that film as well. (Jesus Christ, I’m done)