Category: Bring a Friend

Saw IV Recap

Jamie

Franchise Man will live foreeevvvveeerrrrrr! You can’t kill him because all you little piggies can’t get enough of your precious franchises. Oink oink oink. Eat up your Saw IV slop. I’ll gladly partake for I am lore incarnate! Saw is my bible of lore. No one has done it better than Jigsaw and his wacky traps. With that out of the way, I do have to acknowledge that we live in a wondrous time. We are years from entry after entry of dumb-as-rocks entries in franchises like Final Destination (fun) and Saw (less fun) that just fed its sequels into the BMT machine. Because who gives a shit, right? It’s just a bunch of rube goldberg death traps (in both cases). Just kill some people in fun and/or unpleasant ways and yada yada yada profit. And somehow we are now getting good entries in the series. Isn’t that cool?… and yet, is it also not part of a BMT disease. Did I say Franchise Man will live forever? Maybe not if every dumb movie is now good. Then he will die.

To recap, you must bear with me. It appears that this film was designed as some kind of nefarious trap for Franchise Man. I fear I might die in an attempt at an accurate recap. So really the film starts with Detective Rigg, a hot head devastated by the death of his partner at the hands of Jigsaw, getting kidnapped. It’s implied that there is another apprentice to Jigsaw that is the key to everything we’re seeing (since at the end of Saw III we saw Amanda get killed). Rigg is warned that he better listen and not be a hothead detective or else things will end badly. He proceeds to be a big ol’ hothead and things continually end badly for him. Meanwhile we see Detective Hoffman (someone who has warned Riggs about the aforementioned hotheadedness) and Detective Donnie Wahlberg (of Wahlburgers fame) kidnapped and set up to be electrocuted or crushed or some shit. Meanwhile to this meanwhile, the FBI are tracking stuff down and we get a bunch of backstory about Jigsaw and how he was a loving husband turned crazy by not only his cancer but the miscarriage of his child. Through this backstory they are able to slowly track Rigg through his trial and it’s implied that by doing this they will ultimately kill an innocent man. Rigg gets to the location where Wahlberg and Hoffman are being held and despite being told to not be a hothead he hotheadingly barges into the room, resulting in Wahlberg getting his head smashed by giant blocks of ice (Cooool! Rad!). Hoffman rises up and reveals that he is in fact the apprentice (what a twist!). Meanwhile, the FBI gets lost like a bunch of dumbos and kills Jeff (a character from Saw III) thus revealing that all this happened simultaneously to Saw III and it’s really cool and we love it. THE END (or is it? (Come on))

Saw IV. Come on. How is it that a franchise that should be built on the premise of “none of this matters” somehow makes everything matter in the most insane(ly dumb) way possible. I have to admit, there is a certain beautiful satisfaction in watching the movie spin itself into a knot around a Lost-esque flashsideways. But when everyone is so very dumb and everything is so very cheap and the traps just don’t even try to make sense then I have to say it: fundamentals. Focus on the fundamentals Saw IV. Either that or just keep getting dumber. I want rocks to look like geniuses next to these movies. Do it Saw. In actuality, the fact that Saw X got good reviews should be devastating. Just when you make me want it to be dumber, you make it less dumb? No fair. As for Vibrations. Uh, cha. This is what we call a Friend. It’s a wild time on VHS. Just to highlight one moment in a consistently insane film, at one point a friend of the main character (who helped him with his robot hand situation) lets him use his special speaker that is so powerful that he implies it could kill people or something. And me and Patrick looked at each other and were like “wouldn’t it be so funny if in the end he sets up the people who took his hands so they get killed by the speaker?” and then that more or less played out exactly like that. And yes… it was so funny.

Hot Take Clam Bake! Jigsaw: not a good person, husband, or potential father. I really don’t think enough time is spent making sure the audience understands that Jigsaw, despite the backstory we are being treated (and I mean, treated) to, does not in fact have justification for killing all those people. In fact almost no time has been spent making sure that is clear and all the time has been spent trying to convince us that he was just a broken man driven to desperate measures to make sure people appreciate life. And I say ‘No!’ This hot take has been paid for by the Committee to Make Sure People Understand Jigsaw is Not Good. Hot Take Temperature: Burning coals in your eyes unless you let mice eat your ears off in the next fifteen seconds. 

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *Gif of me screaming as my fingers are torn off or whatever AAARGH AAAAAAH ARRRRRRRGH* Let’s go!

The Good? The further you get into Saw the more ridiculous it gets and, somehow, the less revolting it ends up being. The tricks are so obviously stupid and semi-unwinnable you just sit there waiting for whatever like … pig bile to melt someone’s face off or something. All in the service of a dumb twist where it turns out Mr. Saw’s childhood friend is actually a copycat Saw killer or something. Then we all clap and go home.

The Bad? These movies are garbage. I kind of mean that in the best possible way (I guess…). They have such flimsy premises and they are specifically so obviously constructed to service a single goal (seeing dem torture devices babyyyyy), that that is part of the charm. But as actual movies? Trash. Even as horror films? Double trash. Because they aren’t scary, and even compared to other torture porn films they are quite tame. I didn’t feel sick to my stomach once while watching this film! What are we even doing here? If I can eat a sandwich while watching your film then you didn’t do it right. Fact. The acting is terrible, the premise is terrible, the film is terrible. Slammed.

The BMT? I don’t think so. I think there is going to be one Saw film which is well and truly BMT. This is dumb, but it hinges too much on prior films to be a film you’d ever revisit and revel in. That’s just a fact, Jack.

I’ve decided to, for now, revisit the idea of sifting through letterboxd reviews for something interesting. I tried initially to have it find the “weirdest” review, but it just returned aggressively unfunny reviews. So I call this “Hey Letterboxd, convince me this film isn’t garbage.” Here is the example of a good review for this film:

This is it right here. This ties up the loose ends of the previous three films and feels like a fresh start for the franchise, complete with more melodrama, Hoffman, and more frenzied intricacies within the storytelling that is clearly being written with future films mapped out—this is where the Saw lore becomes the Charlie Kelly Pepe Silva meme. I liked the peppering in of Kramer’s backstory and the quick pacing and editing are standouts, hiding what needs to be hidden…

There we go. The Pepe Silva thing … sounds bad, but I guess it is like the lore becomes such a thick fog and I can eat it up with a spoon and I unironically love how insane it gets. You know, the scene transitions and editing are a big thing among the good-ish reviews somehow. Honestly, can’t say I noticed.

I think in the end the only thing we can give this film is the Saw staple Worst Twist (How?) for the ultimate reveal that the film takes place at the same time as the third film (I think) and that the main guy is the partner to Wahlberg. What a twist. It like … almost doesn’t make sense it is such a good twist. This film is Bad as I explained above.

As for our Friend this week Vibrations: uh yes please, may I have another serving of someone getting their hands chopped off in a ridiculous way and then getting robot hands and becoming an electronic music legend? This movie is actually somewhat famous on the internets for its crazy concept and oddly famous cast (well … it has Christina Applegate and one of the guys from Twin Peaks, those are famous people right?). And coincidentally this film also marks the first time a VHS popped up on RedLetterMedia’s Best of the Worst series where I was like “I own that VHS!” The film is surprisingly heartfelt and non-ridiculous for most of the first half which is amusing in its own way, but once he basically becomes a robot the film gets shockingly entertaining all the way up to the Chekov’s killer speakers in the end. Spoiler: he doesn’t kill them, he just blasts their ears a bunch and then gets them arrested. So that is good I guess. B, I would watch it again, but it is a little slow because the film is actually only notable for the robot hands which don’t come into play until the back half of the film.

Read all about … torture chambers maybe? In the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Saw IV Quiz

Arrrrghhhhhhhh! ARGGHHHHH! My hands!!!! Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) At the beginning of the film, information is revealed to a detective using a Microcassette, a technology invented by the company Olympus in 1969. That company got caught up in a Tobashi scheme in 2011 after firing their CEO abruptly. What is a Tobashi scheme?

2) Donnie Wahlberg’s character is named Eric Matthews. That is the same name as the older brother character in Boy Meets World. As Wikipedia points out, the character started as merely a suave older brother, but then in the fourth season transitions fully into a “crazy moron”. Named after a character in an animated sitcom, what is this process typically called when a character becomes more and more defined by a single trait over the course of a television program?

3) What about a question about another 4th installment: Lethal Weapon 4. In that film Murtaugh has to come to terms with Detective Lee Butters becoming his son-in-law. What famous comedian played Butters?

4) One of the surprising bits of Saw lore is that Shawnee Smith’s Amanda character isn’t in very many of the films (only five of the ten films). Another film she was in was what Kurt Vonnegut adaptation starring Bruce Willis (a BMT qualifier surprisingly)?

5) This movie is technically a side-quel, in that it takes place during the events of the fourth film. Another famous sidequel is a point-and-click adventure game called [Blank]: Escape from DeVil Manor. What fills in the blank?

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: We talking about Phase IV? No, well that played at 6:35PM on Cinemax on January 17, 1995. Later that night this played:

What is this film?

Answers

Saw IV Preview

Back in the jury room, Wrestlemania is steamed. Beet red, a vein pulsating on his forehead, he lunges at Jamie accusing him of sabotaging his attempts to attend Wrestlemania. The rest of the jury hold him back. He’s still the last hold out and Jamie has one more trick up his sleeve, but he’s afraid it might break Wrestlemania’s sanity. “This has nothing to do with Wrestlemania, this is about a man’s life,” he states solemnly. Suddenly the gravity of the situation dawns on Wrestlemania’s face and his shoulders sag. “But… but he’s guilty,” he rasps weakly, his eyes pleading with Jamie to not make him change his vote. Jamie sighs. Time for the grand finale. They return to the courtroom and Jamie walks to the front of the room. “Ladies and gentlemen. We are asked to believe that this man… this boy… escaped the crime scene via elite parkour skillz.” Everyone nods. There was no doubt about that. “But look at the arms and legs of the accused. Do they look like they are capable of elite parkour moves?” A murmur arises from the crowd. Now that they look closely, the boy does seem rather weak. “Look at my arms and legs,” Jamie says, snapping off his snap-off track suit. The murmur grows louder and reaches ear-splitting proportions as he demonstrates some of the necessary parkour moves by scrambling around on the walls and ceiling of the courtroom. Wrestlemania stands, wild eyed and foaming at the mouth. “I didn’t want to have to do this! This could have been easy!” Jamie lands in front of him, “You saw them, didn’t you? You saw both the accused and murderer on that day. Who are you protecting?!” Jamie bellows. “I didn’t see two people,” Wrestlemania insists, “I saw four.” That’s right! We’re also going to see four when we watch Saw IV. The Saw franchise may as well have been created by Franchise Man. What wasn’t created by Franchise Man? Another film where someone gets their hands chopped off: Vibrations. It’s a classic… in that it’s about a musician who gets his hands chopped off and then builds robot hands to become an electronic music wizard. As I said… classic. Let’s go!

Saw IV (2007) – BMeTric: 37.4; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 16.4%; Notability: top 8.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 17.0%; Higher BMeT: Epic Movie, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Norbit, I Know Who Killed Me, Bratz, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, Daddy Day Camp, Who’s Your Caddy?, Are We Done Yet?, Postal, Delta Farce, Captivity, The Comebacks, Underdog, The Hills Have Eyes 2, Code Name: The Cleaner, The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising, Ghost Rider, Primeval, The Ten, and 21 more; Higher Notability: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Evan Almighty, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Fred Claus, Rush Hour 3, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Epic Movie, The Invasion, The Comebacks, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Lions for Lambs, Underdog, August Rush, Wild Hogs, The Reaping, Goal II: Living the Dream, Halloween, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, Next, The Game Plan; Lower RT: Daddy Day Camp, Epic Movie, Because I Said So, Code Name: The Cleaner, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Delta Farce, 88 Minutes, Good Luck Chuck, Who’s Your Caddy?, Are We Done Yet?, The Reaping, Silk, License to Wed, The Number 23, Premonition, Pathfinder, Postal, Norbit, I Know Who Killed Me, Perfect Stranger, and 22 more; Notes:

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars – Jigsaw is dead, but his ingenious torture devices mysteriously continue with law enforcement agents Mandylor and Patterson on the trail. We also learn how and why a successful architectural engineer morphed into this Satan. Decent rebound from its lackluster predecessor, this entry is less claustrophobic than usual, though many performances are typically subpar – which is almost part of the perverse appeal.

(I’m actually a bit shocked he would give it such a good review. My impression was always that he didn’t like horror films and he especially didn’t like the ones which bordered on the torture genre. The beginning of the review sounded like he was reading ad copy for the film though, so maybe he didn’t write it …)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxwdZMMymqY/

(Mother flipping twisted! More like a teaser trailer, and doesn’t really get into the absurdity of this movie. In a way Saw IV is either the final film in a truly absurd four film arc. Or, it is the beginning of the late-stage Saw franchise after an initial self-contained trilogy. Either way, it is weird and wild stuff.)

Actors – Tobin Bell – ( Known For: Goodfellas; Saw; The Firm; Manhattan; Mississippi Burning; Tootsie; In the Line of Fire; The Road to El Dorado; The Quick and the Dead; Saw X; Sophie’s Choice; The Verdict; Malice; 12 Feet Deep; Boogeyman 2; An Innocent Man; The 4th Floor; Boogeyman 3; The Call; Belzebuth; Future BMT: Saw V; Saw 3D; Jigsaw; Boiling Point; Loose Cannons; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Saw IV; Notes: He does have an interesting career, but I went through that for the last Saw films. Long story short: he didn’t really break out as an actor at all until he was quite old, and was never famous until Saw when he was in his 60s.)

Scott Patterson – ( Known For: Batman: Gotham by Gaslight; Her Best Move; Con Man; A Boy Called Hate; A Beer Tale; Future BMT: Saw V; Saw VI; Little Big League; Three Wishes; BMT: Saw IV; Notes: Was in 153 episodes of Gilmore Girls. He was also in the fifth and uncredited in the sixth.)

Louis Ferreira – ( Known For: Shooter; Dawn of the Dead; Naked Lunch; Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II; Life on the Line; The Marsh; Scenes of the Crime; Chestnut: Hero of Central Park; Blood & Donuts; Savage Messiah; The Lazarus Child; The Big Slice; Fallen Arches; Future BMT: Stella; BMT: Saw IV; Cocktail; Notes: Has been in a ton of television shows. Including one, improbably, called 1-800-Missing. This is a little like how once, in college, I was up until 3AM doing some homework, and suddenly a very random TV show came on. It looked a little like Criminal Minds, but it was the worst acting I’d ever seen … I never figured out what it was. Could have been 1-800-Missing.)

Budget/Gross – $10 million / Domestic: $63,300,095 (Worldwide: $139,352,633)

(My god. And that is why they’ve made a good ten films of this mega franchise. It just converts $10 million dollar bills into $100 million dollar bills.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 18% (15/83): Saw IV is more disturbing than compelling, with material already seen in the prior installments.

(… Like literally? Literally there is material from prior installments in it. But also yes, the film is ludicrous and doesn’t really tread too much new ground. But how can you when the entire point of your franchise is to be as gross as possible?)

Reviewer Highlight: The reports of torture porn’s demise may have been greatly exaggerated, but this fourth entry in the mutilate-yourself-or-die series joins what may be the worst genre of the decade: the lamely ”sympathetic” serial-killer backstory. – Owen Gleiberman, EW

Poster – Saw IV: The Final Chapter

(I don’t really believe this is the official poster, but we err on the side of IMDb. Is this supposed to somehow be sexy? Like why is this pig masked person wearing those boots? This whole thing makes me uncomfortable. NC-17.)

Tagline(s) – It’s a Trap (F)

(Oh, come on.)

Keyword(s) – top BMeT

Top 10: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Green Lantern (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), Ghost Rider (2007), The Happening (2008), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), The Mummy (2017)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 93.6 Date Movie (2006), 90.7 Vampires Suck (2010), 90.1 House of the Dead (2003), 89.0 BloodRayne (2005), 87.9 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 86.9 Street Fighter (1994), 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 84.1 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 83.1 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.5 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 80.0 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.5 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.4 Home Alone 3 (1997), 79.3 Boogeyman (2005), 78.7 Shark Night (2011), 78.2 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.1 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Battlefield Earth (2000), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Catwoman (2004), Jack and Jill (2011), Batman & Robin (1997), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), The Emoji Movie (2017), Cats (2019), Gigli (2003), Scary Movie V (2013), Alone in the Dark (2005), Jaws: The Revenge (1987), The Last Airbender (2010), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), The Wicker Man (2006), Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966), Madame Web (2024), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), Slender Man (2018), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Jaws 3-D (1983), Troll 2 (1990), The Love Guru (2008), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), The Avengers (1998), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Fantastic Four (2015), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Norbit (2007), …

Best Options (imdb-keyword-severed-hand): 74.2 The Spirit (2008), 71.1 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 59.3 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.0 Legion (2010), 57.2 Robin Hood (2018), 50.8 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

(Wait … that many bad films have severed hands in it. Fun fact: Saw IV doesn’t really have a severed hand. It is like … a whole person is torn apart, which I guess technically means his hand was severed, but it isn’t really that. But Vibrations DEFINITELY has exactly two severed hands.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tobin Bell is No. 1 billed in Saw IV and No. 1 billed in Saw II, which also stars Donnie Wahlberg (No. 2 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 6 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 6) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch Mobsters we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – The seamless transitions between separate scenes in the film were not created using digital effects, but were done practically. For these transitions, the sets were built in such a way that two separate scenes could be filmed in one shot without interruption.

A coroner was on set at all times for the autopsy scene.

The autopsy scene was passed completely uncut by the MPAA.

In the making of the “Mausoleum Trap”, prosthetic thread was used on both actors. Louis Ferreira really couldn’t speak during filming; however, Kevin Rushton could actually see.

The Tobin Bell body cast used in the autopsy scene took two weeks to be constructed.

Joker: Folie à Deux Recap

Jamie

It’s possible that Joker is the biggest BMT film of all time. There are Transformers films, sure. There are Jurassic World, Pirates of the Caribbean, and DC Comics proper films. But there is nothing quite like Joker and the immense popularity of the first film. It was a box office smash and in the Oscar race. It was so huge that not only was a sequel obviously going to be made, but Todd Phillips was given a blank check. A blank check that he used to turn it into an uber expensive jukebox musical. It’s almost impossible to think of something even comparable to this catastrophe. So suffice to say I was pretty excited.

To recap, Arthur Fleck is in prison. He is a real saddo and generally treated as a joke. A musically inclined guard, though, decides to convince the higher ups to let him in on music therapy where he meets Harley Quinn. He’s taken by the idea that she is obsessed with his TV movie and his exploits as The Joker. During a film screening she sets a fire and they attempt an escape, which lands him in solitary confinement. Harley meets with him there and helps him have sex with her (yes, what happened is exactly as I wrote it there… it’s very funny). He then goes off for a softball interview to try to help his case that he is mentally unwell, but instead launches into a song that begins to incite people again. As his trial begins, Harley is upset that he isn’t doing more press as The Joker, but Arthur’s lawyer reveals that Harley is a liar and has made up all kinds of lies to get close to him. She admits to that, but also claims to be pregnant with their child. He dismisses his lawyer and begins representing himself. As his defense takes a disastrous route and he and his friends are abused by the guards, Arthur reflects and denounces his Joker persona and is found guilty. At that moment a bomb explodes outside and a group of his supporters help him escape. Eventually he runs from them and finds Harley who is like “nah, no thanks.” He’s taken back to Arkham where he is stabbed to death by the real Joker. THE END. (Or is it?… well yeah, it probably is).

I think I probably like Joker 2 more than most people. The idea that he made the entire thing as a fuck you to fans fo the first one I don’t believe for a second. I think this is always what he wanted to make. For sure making him a hilariously pathetic “villain” was quite a twist for those that held Joker up as some matinee idol. But I wasn’t one of those and there was something nice to how you watch this character and the whole time (even the first film) you’re like “this is the guy who becomes Batman’s archenemy?” Only for that to pay off exactly as that absurd concept should: a second straight year where Joaquin Phoenix wins Funniest Sex Scene of the Year Award (last year he won for Beau is Afraid). His sex scene with Lady Gaga is hilarious and is meant to be so and quite an accomplishment. My big problem is that the film was too small. Even the songs are small. They should have had Joker and Harley escape and then we could have romped through the city. Would have made it more fun. As constructed you sure do spend a lot of time talking away in a courthouse and interviews. As for Rebel Moon: Part 1 & Part 2, is it possible for me to kind of enjoy the daring of a film, but also think it represents the downfall of the medium? This and Carry-on were the two Netflix films I watched this year and boy howdy, what the hell is going on over there? The story structures are like children’s films. Still, some crazy sci-fi settings and kooky alien design? The main villain appears to have a sexual relationship with a squid alien? There are things to point to in Rebel Moon and say, “He tried.” Visually at least.

Hot Take Clam Bake! What if Arthur Fleck was the Joker after all? Sure at the end of this film we see him get stabbed. And sure that guy carves a smile onto his face implying that he becomes the Joker. But you know what we didn’t see? What happens right after that. Arthur ninja flips himself off the ground and karate chops that dude in the throat. He then reveals that he was wearing a bullet proof vest that also is knife proof. He then runs to tell Harley what happened but is shocked to find that his assailant killed her and their unborn child (which was real and definitely not a lie). Then as the guards rush him, Arthur leaps from the window into a vat of chemicals below. He is… The Joker. Hot Take Temperature: Acid Burn.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *Gif of me dancing down some stairs but then I trip and fall all the way down and my face goes directly into a big pile of dogshit, I start crying, and then Lady Gaga walks by and laughs at me* Let’s go!

The Good? Whenever the films get close to actually being a DC film you start to see pieces of what really works. In the first film it is the bits and pieces of seeing how Joker like figure would generate a following, and there are pieces of Bruce Wayne set up that kind of works. Here, all the stuff concerning Two-Face and maybe how that could go is by far the most exciting stuff.

The Bad? Unfortunately the rest of the film is filled with aggressively mediocre Jukebox Musical numbers and/or is just very dull scenes of Joker wandering around a prison, or sitting in a courtroom, or being a big old saddo. It is a truly strange follow-up to an okay film with a great central performance.

The BMT? This movie is just bad. They really hamstring themselves with the singing. Whenever it started to happen I groaned because … they aren’t singing well? What is the point? It makes Joaquin Phoenix look kind of dumb. It is quite unfortunate to behold. And I didn’t even really like the first one that much.

To pair with the glory that is Joker 2 we had to go for the double dip of Netflix slop with Rebel Moon – Part 1: A Child of Fire, and Rebel Moon – Part 2: The Scargiver. Wooooooooof these films are wild stuff. Imagine the most derivative Star Wars garbage you’ve ever seen, but also very stilted and cut up because the production is Netflix weirdness. It was a surreal experience to watch like five hours of quite bad science fiction. The positives? The world building was fun, it is nice sometimes to be dropped into a space opera with interesting aliens and governments and space travel and junk. The negatives? Every time a battle scene came up I would basically lose track of what was happening and fall asleep. It is the anti-James Cameron. Cameron has an eye for action which makes those scene exciting, but the Avatar world is a bit derivative. This is occasionally interesting world building with some of the worst action scenes you’ll ever seen. Can’t wait for Part 3 and 4. C+, something about watching the absolute worst Netflix has to offer every year is fun. Electric State here we come!

Ah, finally, a little test on the batch image processing. What shall we look up? What about movie posters with clowns in them? I used the top 150 films from 1990 and ran it 10 times. The answers were: 10/10 Quick Change, 5/10 Child’s Play 2. The second is interesting. I chose the top 150 from 1990 because I knew Quick Change was in there (at #146). There is a little toy clown in the Child’s Play poster. Why does it only hit 5 out of 10 times? … I don’t know. But I like the correct indexing. In a way, possibly, 5/10 could literally mean the model is only 50% confident that a toy clown counts. I’ll have to explore this more.

You know that his is a Setting as a Character (Where?) for Gotham City baby. And I do think this has a Worst Twist (How?) potential with the reveal that he probably isn’t the actual Joker, but instead is stabbed (probably not to death, I assume the plan for a third would have involved the other Joker taking his mantle and him being a big saddo about it) by the actual Joker in the end. This is a Bad film, although I do admit it gets close to BMT in its weirdness, I just don’t think I would ever watch it again.

Read all about DC villains I guess in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Joker: Folie à Deux Quiz

Can you name a notable case of Folie à Deux? The murder of Bridget Cleary? Never heard of it, but what about Joker and Harley Quinn? Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Lady Gaga has had plenty of number one singles. One just came out in late 2024 though called Die with a Smile, a collaboration with which other artist?

2) Harley Quinn is actually a relatively recent addition to Batman comic canon, first appearing in 1992. In the comics (and the HBO animated series) who is Quinn’s primary love interest (it isn’t the Joker)?

3) This film is, somehow, a Jukebox Musical. What 1952 film classic featuring Jean Hagen (who was nominated for an Oscar for this film) is technically a Jukebox Musical (although I would have hard pressed to know that)?

4) One of the many songs in the film, sung multiple times, is Get Happy written by Harold Arlen and Ted Koehler. Which singer is the song most associated with, having been sung in the 1950 film Summer Stock?

5) Now, in this film Joker is housed at Arkham Asylum (well, Arkham State Hospital). In the comics this is the prison that houses Batman villains who are criminally insane (or have, basically, paranormal medical issues like Mr. Freeze possibly). But what is the name of the actual prison in Gotham that houses everyone else?

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: On July 8th, 1990, Batman premiered on HBO primetime. Going up against it is this BMT classic:

Name this film.

Answers

Joker: Folie à Deux Preview

A week later Jamie and Patrick wring their hands as the meeting of Hallston’s Library Committee begins. The strangers they saw in the ASoMN weren’t just any strangers. They were The Strangers… of Stranger & Stranger Construction. The biggest construction company in town. It became clear from the equipment they had hidden in the erotic thriller section of ASoMN that they were there to scope out the place for something and Jamie and Patrick needed to find out what. Unfortunately, Jacques insisted that they weren’t going to get anywhere by following the rules and had already been Jokerfied. They hadn’t seen him since. As the meeting begins it becomes clear that the news is not going to be good. “We just got a detailed report from the local inspector and given the massive tunnel system under the library, it appears that the library could collapse into a chasm or abyss of some kind at any moment.” Jamie rises to try to show schematics detailing how the chasm (or abyss) was in fact under a nearby insane asylum, so the library was perfectly safe, but the committee chair bangs his gavel loudly to silence him. When Jamie looks at the name placard in front of the chairman his heart sinks. “As I was saying,” Chairman Stranger continues, staring daggers at Jamie, “Stranger & Stranger Construction has been nice enough to find a buyer for the land and so we move to accept.” Jamie and Patrick jump to their feet. “But what about the library?!” They shout. Chairman Stranger bangs his gavel several more times and with a dramatic pause announces, “There shall be no more library.” The audience gasps and Patrick can tell from the dull glint in Jamie’s dead doll eyes that he is one step away from becoming Jokerfied himself. That’s right! We’re being Jokerfied this week by watching Joker: Folie à Deux. It’s got Joker! It’s got Harley Quinn! It’s got song and dance! So it’s pretty much got everything. Let’s go!

Joker: Folie à Deux (2024) – BMeTric: 62.0; Notability: 73

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 16.2%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web, Borderlands, The American Society of Magical Negroes, The Crow, Uglies, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Night Swim, Tarot, Trigger Warning, The Exorcism, Imaginary; Lower RT: Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, Borderlands, Madame Web, Mother of the Bride, Breathe, Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths – Part Two, Kraven the Hunter, Uglies, Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver, Tarot, Reagan, Killer Heat, Canary Black, Mea Culpa, Atlas, Night Swim, Trigger Warning, The Strangers: Chapter 1, The Crow, Afraid, and 18 more; Notes: That is a crazy BMeT and Notability. I wonder if you multiply those numbers together what you’d find … could be interesting. I’ve probably done it.

Variety –  Did the critics, with “Joker,” turn into cautious executive scolds? In my opinion, they did. But the upshot is that Todd Phillips, making what I think is a huge mistake, listened to them. “Joker: Folie à Deux” may be ambitious and superficially outrageous, but at heart it’s an overly cautious sequel. Phillips has made a movie in which Arthur really is just poor Arthur; he does nothing wrong and isn’t going to threaten anyone’s moral sensibilities. In fact, he actually blows the only good thing that ever happened to him — winning the love of Lee’s Harley Quinn — because he denies the Joker in himself. He’s now just a singing-and-dancing puppet clown living in his imagination. Is that entertainment? Audiences, I suspect, will still turn out in droves to see “Folie à Deux.” But when it comes to bold mainstream filmmaking, it’s the scolds who are having the last laugh.

(Narrator: They did not. This ended up being a fantastic bomb. I disagree with people being scolds. The film itself just isn’t particularly good. Phoenix is good. But the film is cribbing from several other better films.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiqqAI0e4Nc/

(That movie looks dope. The movie that actually resulted? Boring and weird apparently. But that movies looks dope.)

Directors – Todd Phillips – ( Known For: Joker; The Hangover; War Dogs; Old School; Road Trip; Starsky & Hutch; Bittersweet Motel; Frat House; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; School for Scoundrels; Notes: Famously made a boatload with the Hangover films. Famously made a boatload from Joker too. He’s nominated for Oscars for writing Borat (?) and for three categories for Joker, but didn’t win.)

Writers – Scott Silver – ( Known For: Joker; The Fighter; 8 Mile; The Finest Hours; Johns; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; The Mod Squad; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Joker and The Fighter. His career is wild. The Mod Squad to 8 Mile? Wild.)

Todd Phillips – ( Known For: Joker; Borat; War Dogs; Old School; Road Trip; Starsky & Hutch; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; School for Scoundrels; Notes: He has a story credit on Borat? Oh yeah, he was the original director, but he left after the Rodeo scene and then Larry Charles took over.)

Bob Kane and Bill Finger and Jerry Robinson – ( Known For: The Dark Knight; The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Joker; The Batman; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Batman; Batman Returns; The Flash; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; DC League of Super-Pets; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman: The Movie; Son of Batman; Batman Ninja; Teen Titans GO! To the Movies; Reign of the Supermen; Batman and Harley Quinn; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Future BMT: Batman: The Killing Joke; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Justice League; Batman & Robin; Batman Forever; Joker: Folie à Deux; Catwoman; Notes: This is Bob Kane’s filmography, but I grouped them because they are just here because they make Joker as a character.)

Paul Dini and Bruce Timm – ( Known For: Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman Ninja; Batman and Harley Quinn; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; Double Dragon; Notes: Similarly, he appears to have a lot of stuff with the cartoons, and so he managed to get a credit through that?)

Actors – Joaquin Phoenix – ( Known For: Gladiator; Joker; Her; Signs; Hotel Rwanda; The Village; Walk the Line; The Master; Napoleon; You Were Never Really Here; Inherent Vice; We Own the Night; The Sisters Brothers; Beau Is Afraid; Irrational Man; Ladder 49; Quills; Parenthood; To Die For; U Turn; Future BMT: 8MM; Brother Bear; Inventing the Abbotts; Russkies; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; Notes: Gave one of the most hilarious (IMO) Oscar speeches ever for Joker. Was nominated three other times (Walk the Line, The Master, and Gladiator). If you haven’t seen Beau is Afraid, watch it. It is insane in the best way.)

Lady Gaga – ( Known For: A Star Is Born; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; House of Gucci; Muppets Most Wanted; Gaga: Five Foot Two; Quincy; Risk; Gaga Chromatica Ball; Bettie Page Reveals All; The Zen of Bennett; Future BMT: Machete Kills; BMT: Joker: Folie à Deux; Notes: Weird to think she’s an Oscar winner (for the song “Shallow”). But was also nominated for two other songs (The Hunting Ground, and Top Gun: Maverick), and a performance (A Star is Born).)

Brendan Gleeson – ( Known For: Braveheart; Edge of Tomorrow; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; Troy; Gangs of New York; In Bruges; 28 Days Later; Mission: Impossible II; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; The Village; The Banshees of Inisherin; Safe House; Beowulf; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Cold Mountain; In the Heart of the Sea; Green Zone; Paddington 2; Future BMT: Kingdom of Heaven; The Raven; Live by Night; The Smurfs 2; BMT: Assassin’s Creed; Joker: Folie à Deux; Turbulence; Notes: IT is crazy he’s only been nominated for The Banshees of Inishirin. Is apparently in the upcoming Spider-Noir series with Nic Cage.)

Budget/Gross – $190–200 million / Domestic: $58,300,287 (Worldwide: $207,500,287)

(Yeah that is an incredible bomb. One of the largest of the year. It makes sense it costs that much … but why the production didn’t seem to have any control on what was being produced is beyond me.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 31% (113/362): Joaquin Phoenix’s eponymous Joker takes the stand in a sequel that dances around while the story remains still, although Lady Gaga’s wildcard energy gives Folie á Deux some verve.

(Yeah I can see that. The most interesting stuff in the movie is the DC stuff, but they seem so dead set on not allowing the film become a Batman film it ends up kind of being a letdown.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s startlingly dull, a pointless procedural that seems to disdain its audience. – Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair

Poster – Midnight Toker 2: Stroker’s Ace

(A very modern poster. Got some art to it. I do like the odd coloring and they at least try a little with the font. But this also gives me an opportunity to sound like an old curmudgeon for a second. Why is everything so zoomed in nowadays? What’s with that? B-)

Tagline(s) – The world is a stage. (F)

(Get out of here with that shit.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), The Substance (2024), Alien: Romulus (2024), Civil War (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), Gladiator II (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), Longlegs (2024)

Future BMT: 72.3 Singham Again (2024), 64.5 The Exorcism (2024), 62.6 Imaginary (2024), 50.9 Kraven the Hunter (2024), 47.5 Afraid (2024), 30.3 Slingshot (2024), 29.3 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024), 28.3 Devara Part 1 (2024), 26.0 Fighter (2024), 24.5 Red One (2024), 24.2 Summer Camp (2024), 21.7 The Fabulous Four (2024), 20.0 Reagan (2024), 19.9 Here (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), The Crow (2024), The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), Night Swim (2024), Tarot (2024), Joker: Folie à Deux (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024), The Garfield Movie (2024), Back to Black (2024)

Best Options (imdb-keyword-jukebox-musical): 62.1 Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)

(Haha, well yeah, it is the only jukebox musical I suppose. I unironically love that keyword.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Brendan Gleeson is No. 3 billed in Joker: Folie à Deux and No. 3 billed in Turbulence, which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (3 + 3) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch 8MM we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The film’s subtitle “Folie a Deux” means “Madness of Two” in French. This initially led to speculation about Harley Quinn’s appearance in the film, which was shortly thereafter confirmed. The name Folie a Deux comes from the 19th century French psychiatrists Charles Lasègue and Jules Falret. The term was coined to refer to two or more people that share the same madness or delusion. It is also known as Lasègue-Falret syndrome.

This is Joaquin Phoenix’s first sequel in all his career.

During the opening “Me and My Shadow” cartoon sequence one of the crowd outside the theatre has the “Everything Must Go” sign that Arthur Fleck had stolen from him in the first Joker movie.

This was the first major DC Comics film to be released under the new “DC Elseworlds” banner. The term was first created in 1991 by DC Comics for the stories out of the canon, set in alternate realities.

Dropped 81.4% in its second weekend at the box office, more than any other comic book film, surpassing The Marvels (2023), with 78.1%.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Todd Phillips, Joseph Garner, Emma Tillinger Koskoff)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Todd Phillips)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Joaquin Phoenix)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Lady Gaga)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Combo (Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga)

Rocky V Recap

Jamie

I have never seen Rocky V. When we first started BMT we would avoid watching films we had already seen. But then we’d also not love starting a series in the middle when we haven’t given the BMT treatment to the earlier films in the series. What a conundrum for the Rocky series and Rocky V in general. But now our priorities have been put straight and Rocky V can be brought into the fold. I can finally watch Rocky V. So what did I know about the film going into it? I know E from Entourage is in it. I know that Stallone’s son acted in it and that there’s like a street fight in it. I know what everyone hated it. I know that it came out the same year as The Godfather Part III, which everyone also hated. So I know that 1990 was the year that the dreams of males both young and old were shattered and everything they loved was killed by sequels. I also know that I kind of liked The Godfather Part III… so maybe I’ll like this.

To recap, immediately following the Drago fight, Rocky retires. Good thing, too, because he’s given a diagnosis of brain damage and is told that fighting again may seriously impair him. This would probably be OK, though, since he’s got his family and his son is doing great with everything that he can give him from his boxing winnings. That is until, uh oh! Paulie entrusts Rocky’s wealth to a scammer and they lose everything. Oh Paulie! The only way out of the hole is to fight and a promoter, George Washington Duke, is ready and willing to give him a big payday to fight his fighter, Union Cane. But with the diagnosis he ends up having to sell all his assets and move back to Philly. His son is dismayed to find himself thrust onto the hardscrabble streetz of Philly and begins to be victimized by some bullies. Rocky meanwhile reopens Mick’s Gym and soon catches the eye of Tommy Gunn, a raw boxer from Oklahoma. Rocky eventually takes him under his wing and soon Tommy is working his way through the lower ranks. Despite being neglected, Rocky’s son learns to fight and pushes back against the bullies, eventually falling into the wrong crowd himself. Tommy Gunn also feels a bit neglected as he toils away and falls under the influence of George Washington Duke. Tommy jumps ship for a shot at Union Cane and eventually wins the title. Rocky mends his relationship with his family, while Tommy struggles with the fact that no one respects him for ditching Rocky and not fighting a real champion for the title. Duke pushes Tommy to goad Rocky into a fight and he confronts Rocky at a local bar. Rocky tries to say no, but Tommy punches Paulie. Hey! Paulie may be a total piece of shit, but he’s Rocky’s total piece of shit! They go out in the streetz for a street fight and duke it out. They pummel each other for a while, Rocky seems brain damaged and all that, but eventually grits his way to a win. THE END.

Wow! This movie sucks! Just bad decision after bad decision. First, it’s embarrassing. Every five minutes you cringe. Just very uncool vibes going on in this film. It’s trying to be hip with the change to the soundtrack and streetz attitude, but it’s not. Second, it’s a kids movie. Obviously Stallone didn’t totally want to make a fifth film, but if he was making it he wanted to do this. Part of this was probably because he was a family man and he wanted to act with his son. It’s admirable, but contributes to the uncool, anti-Rocky vibes wafting off this film. Third, I could be OK with the general uncoolness… if the last fight wasn’t so horrible. What in the absolute world were they thinking with the street fight ending? No thank you. Anyway, in an incredible upset I have to say I actually thought Sage Stallone was not bad. Pretty good for a young actor taking on a very big role in a major blockbuster. As for Invisible Maniac, it’s a fun one. I was a little disappointed, but only because I had a high expectation from The Flop House podcast. I was promised a maniac jumping and smashing a head like a pumpkin. That is more implied than anything else. I did enjoy some of the other more risque scenes. Had to put on my glasses for those. Overall it was fun and a good example of the genre, but it had to contend with my own imagination, which is tough.

Hot Take Clam Bake! This entire film continues the dying dream as Rocky falls to the canvas during the fight with Drago. You think it’s a coincidence that Rocky’s son is easily at least five years older upon their return from Russia? Can’t you see that the whole brain damage storyline is his brain telling himself that it’s been damaged? Adrian goes and works in the same pet store as like fifteen years earlier. You think that pet store would still be open? In fact, every movie from here on out is just a continuation of the very long dying dream of his punch-addled brain. Hot Take Temperature: Street fighter turbo.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *Gif of me screaming You’re losing everyone! C’mon! during a street fight* Let’s go!

The Good? Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. Huh. Well, I mean. Huh. Like. I guess I kind of dig the weird way in which Rocky just puts on his old outfit and goes back to the neighborhood and really doesn’t miss a beat in resuming his old poor-as-shit life. That is an interesting (and fairly understandable, given the lives of many heavyweights) trajectory for the character. Definitely led to more interesting stuff in the later films. I’ll give them that.

The Bad? Literally everything else. The bulk of the film is Rocky (genuinely) being a shit father. He straight up ignores his own son and adopts a fighter with daddy issues, and then is like “Duh. Yo, like, Rob, this was a problem for you? Like you didn’t like that?” You can’t really coast past the issues with the Tommy Gun actor, but the worst bit is the character of Duke does play right into the problematic racial overtones of most of the series (even though it is just literally making fun of Don King directly).

The BMT? I would have said no, except right at the end it totally redeems itself! The ending fight is “that’s a gif” galore. There are like a thousand gifs in it, mostly with zoom shots of Duke screaming things like “You lose, you’re finished!!!” It is the best thing in the universe.

Back to AI analysis. Lol, the query from the Rocky IV recap is not consistent. This is the issue with the current AI paradigm. I know there is a sense of learning how to use it properly. But someone I know said it is a programming language (I can see that, a higher level programming language) “except stochastic and a black box.” … Stochastic I can handle, stochastic is fine. A black box? That is a little more difficult to reason about. I can get it to return maybe a little consistently with larger images. And the nice thing is it does image batch pretty well. That’ll be my next thing I think, just working through that a bit. You do tend to have to force it to return json every time, and even though it is clearly understanding the image, it needs to be pretty high quality seemingly to make things less random. Go figure.

The Friend for Rocky V is natural as can be, another super strong bad dude: Invisible Maniac. Huh. Well, we heard of this film mostly through The Flophouse I believe, so I was always intrigued by it. Along with Head of the Family and Castle Freak, this one one of Stuart’s stalwart suggestions. Ultimately, I found the film to be a little too weird for my personal tastes, and as Jamie said it had a tough time living up to the impression I had of it. But I did understand the allure of seeing the titular invisible maniac stomp on the lead actress’s head near the end of the film. That is probably the only real redeeming feature of what seems to possibly be a soft-core pornographic film? C-, didn’t enjoy it, but can kind of see the appeal.

This is a great Setting as a Character (Where?) film for Philadelphia, in all its decrepit glory. And yeah, new category for Worst Ending (How?) for the ultimate fight being a ridiculous looking street fight outside of the garbage bar Paulie and Rock go to in the first film. This movie is BMT, but only because of that final fight.

Learn all about street fighting probably in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Rocky IV Recap

Jamie

Rocky IV has come and gone as a BMT film over the year. Honestly, it’s annoying. I’m annoyed by it. The movie has always been, and always will be hilarious. So it’s hard for me to take seriously the idea that a film will ironically not qualify for BMT. Similar in many ways to Moonfall. It gets credit for having its tongue in its cheek? I don’t think so. Rocky IV doesn’t even have its tongue in its cheek. Its tongue is firmly planted at the bottom of its mouth and has no intention of moving. Anyway, it’s delightful that after RT curated a number of older reviews this film managed to claw its way to BMT glory. I can rest now *an ancient sigh is released from Jamie’s chest and he falls into a deep slumber*

To recap, Rocky is doing great. He’s the champ. He’s got a family he loves. His brother-in-law Paulie has a robot. What else does a man need? A challenge, right? Wrong. When the monstrous Drago emerges from behind the Iron Curtain and asks to fight Rocky in an exhibition, Rocky is like “pshawwwww.” Long retired Apollo Creed, on the other hand, sees an opportunity. Always the showman, he sets up the super patriotic exhibition and is promptly pummeled to death. Not ideal. Rocky is sad. Adrian is scared. She knows Rocky and Rocky will want to avenge his friend. She’s like “you can’t win!” because she just saw Drago smash Apollo in the face until he died. But has she met Rocky? He’s got a literal rock for a head and so he agrees to the fight and heads off to Siberia to train. Oh he spars. Oh he lifts. Oh he ditches his Russian handlers with his blazing fast speed. They aren’t going to fight for money or belts. They are fighting for pride… and because Drago shattered Apollo’s body with his fists and Rocky didn’t like that. After Adrian arrives to lend her begrudging support, the big fight in Russia is on. Rocky is pummeled pretty much like Apollo right from the jump. But unlike Apollo he doesn’t know when to quit and just keeps standing and letting Drago punch him a thousand times. He has him right where he wants him. Soon the tide turns and he cuts the Russian. If Drago can bleed then Drago can be beaten. In the end Rocky wins even though it was probably like 120-10 on the scorecards after Drago won every round 10-1. Even the Soviets are cheering for Rocky and he gets to return home a hero! THE END. 

I mean… I’m not going to sit here and say this movie is bad. It’s great. Really, really fun to watch. Do I think Sly Stallone knew exactly what he was doing when he made this? No, not really. I think he was making the movie he wanted to make and this is his vision of a film. Totally serious. If you watch the series back-to-back-to-back like I did you can see how the Rocky movies reflect Stallone’s life. It increasingly becomes about the challenges of fame as Stallone himself becomes more famous. Rocky IV is the transition point from “I kind of experienced this” Rocky/Stallone crossover to “I could end the Cold War” Rocky/Stallone. Insane stuff. There is a real visual and emotional flair that he still had, though, and it’s kind of thrilling to watch. Makes sense, too, that he basically stopped directing at this point. His 80’s style was on the way out and he only came back when he did another Rocky film, another Rambo film, and an Expendables film, which is essentially his attempt to bring his style back to the mainstream. It’s good, but like, also it’s really bad in the best possible ways.

Hot Take Clam Bake! I think it’s obvious that Rocky dies on punch 500 that he takes straight to the dome from Drago. As his limp body falls to the canvas he imagines coming back in the fight. Just bull rushing Drago, taking punch after punch directly to the face, without even flinching. The Russian gets cut? Not while Rocky is alive. In his dying dream, maybe. Drago was 100-0 going into the fight (I can’t remember if this is a real fact or comes from some non-canon source) and after the fight is 101-0 with probably 101 deaths on his hands. RIP Rocky. Hot Take Temperature: Smoking hot lady robot.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *Gif of me climbing a mountain in Siberia with a light windbreaker on and bankrupting myself in the process* Let’s go!

The Good? Uhhhhh, are you dumb? This movie is incredible. It is both ironically and unironically good. At one point Dolph Lundgren proclaims that Rocky’s body is like punching steel. There is an entire song montage that shows all three of the prior films. Rocky agrees to have a fight for no money in Russia on Christmas Day. “If he dies he dies.” “I must break you.” This movie is genuinely incredible and the fact that is qualifies is a travesty.

The Bad? I mean, fine, the fight is ludicrous looking. They deal haymaker after haymaker, land all of them, and remain standing. At one point they suggest Lundgren has the hardest punch in history and he’s shooting up steroids and pure science is running through his veins. This movie is endlessly ridiculous and should be ridiculed for it.

The BMT? I mean … is the movie good, or is it so bad it’s good? The world legitimately may never know. Do I love it ironically, or unironically? I don’t even know. It is an enigma.

Final one of these advert ones. I did indeed change up the query to explicitly tell it to only look for full page advertisements. I don’t know how consistent it is, but it did, in general, seem better, at least for Rocky IV. Pretty much nailed it:

Of course, yeah, Rocky IV is one of the big boys. But look at those others! A BMT and a … Disney film I guess. It stars Mary Steenburgen and Harry Dean Stanton of all people. Goddamn, it was playing everywhere. It was wide release, and this juuuust narrowly beat having three BMT films as advertisements on the same day. That would have been something else.

I’m going to name a special award called The Worst Person In the Universe, Why Are You Friends With This Person (Who?) to give to Paulie. I’m going to give a Product Placement (What?) for the Lamborghini Jalpa Rocky rides in during the music montage. Definite Setting as a Character (Where?) for Siberia. Secret Holiday Film (When?) for days in the fight taking place on Christmas Day. Another special award called I Must Avenge You Apollo (Why?) for the movie death that has to be avenged at all costs. And this movie is somehow both Good and BMT, but I’m going to lean BMT and accept that this film is technically a bad movie by movie making standards.

Learn all about punching probably in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Rocky V Quiz

Time to learn about street fighting. Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) MC Hammer performed a song for the soundtrack. Did you know he had a Saturday-morning cartoon. What was it called?

2) Kevin Connolly had his first acting role in this film as the bully Chickie. What HBO show did Connolly play Eric Murphy in?

3) John Avildsen won an Oscar for directing Rocky, and he directed many famous films (Karate Kid anyone?). But he also directed Jack Lemmon to his only lead actor Oscar win for what film?

4) I did end up watching the three Creed films. In the first film Rock almost dies (again!). Remember why he got brain damage in this film? Anyways, what did he almost die of in that film?

5) Tommy Morrison was actually the WBO heavyweight champion in 1993. Who did he beat, who also became the oldest heavyweight champion a few years later?

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: November 12, 1991 Rocky V premiered on Cinemax primetime. This, of course, was competing with this film:

What is this film?

Answers

Rocky IV Quiz

Ooooo, maybe I’ll learn about Siberia or something. Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Many shows have spoofed Rocky IV over the years. Even, surprisingly, this kids’ television show, made in Canada, and the origin of Nickelodeon’s green slime.

2) When Apollo fights Drago, James Brown appears as himself to perform Living in America. That song peaked at #4 on the Top 100. But that isn’t the highest single by Brown. What song is? Either the main title or subtitle accepted.

3) Rocky IV is a rare example of a BMT film with a writer-director-actor … right? I mean, it is rare right? Nope, actually, there are 57 films that qualify with that distinction, like 2.5% that is about the same as the number of twins. One of the others we’ve seen is a Star Trek film. Which one, and who directed, wrote, and starred in it?

4) Made specific by Sergei Eisenstein, what term, meaning “assembly” or “editing” in French was the major contribution of early 20th century Soviet film theorists to formal film analysis?

5) The film was actually the subject of a notable copyright case, in which a writer, Thomas Anderson, accused MGM and Stallone of stealing his Rocky IV script and using it without compensation. What was the result of this ruling?

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: A little twistemup here. Airplane 2 was on television the day of Rocky IV’s release:

But what was the subtitle of this film?

Answers