100+ Notability – Bad Movie Twins

The Flintstones Preview

“Sorry, I didn’t mean indecent. I meant impossible,” the theater owner says, correcting himself. “It’s just that I can’t possibly afford a showing of Cobra at my theater.” Patrick thinks for a moment, contemplating how long it might take to boost the profile of this small theater using the Bad Movie Twins bodacious brand. He looks back through the window of the restaurant where Jamie and Samantha are eating and observes that the make out session has progressed from ‘proper necking’ to ‘hot and heavy.’ He slams his fist into the table. “There just isn’t time,” he rasps through gritted teeth. “Maybe if you ask Sylvester Stallone nicely he’ll do you a solid,” Kyle suggests. Patrick scoffs. Sure he was a social acquaintance of Sly, but one didn’t just ask Sly politely for anything. “Or maybe a friend of a friend,” he adds. Patrick is about to double scoff directly in Kyle’s face, but suddenly has a thought. Unless it was one of the many very realistic daydreams he and Jamie have had recently, he’s pretty sure Kevin James was now one of their best friends. He checks his phone and he finds that KJ is indeed in his contacts (and not headless as a result of a well placed Twin Kick). Hooray! He speed dials the number and gets the man himself on the horn. After briefly confirming that they never kicked him in the head, he asks after Sly. KJ laughs, “That old dog? Did you know that he didn’t even have to show up to the set of Zookeeper but he insisted on wearing the Lion costume every day.” Patrick laughs. Classic Sly. “We’re actually doing a new film together. Why don’t you swing by the set sometime? You can check out Bedrock for yourself.” That’s right! We are finally doing it. The double dose of Flintstones action that is The Flintstones and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. There isn’t much more to say (other than yabba-dabba-do, I guess). Let’s go!

The Flintstones (1994) – BMeTric: 67.1; Notability: 105

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 24.2%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (52), Street Fighter (6), Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (10), Junior (2), The Next Karate Kid (89), It’s Pat: The Movie (13), Double Dragon (11), On Deadly Ground (36); Lower RT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (52), It’s Pat: The Movie (13), Death Wish: The Face of Death (31), Wagons East (9), The Silence of the Hams (11), House Party 3 (24), Car 54, Where Are You? (71), Holy Matrimony (61), Getting Even with Dad (52), A Low Down Dirty Shame (49), Major League II (66), Exit to Eden (38), Lightning Jack (58), Leprechaun 2 (9), The Next Karate Kid (89), Trial by Jury (38), Blank Check (50), Intersection (28), The Specialist (33), Trapped in Paradise (47), and 39 more; Notes: I filled in all the counts in parenthesis in this one. The Flintstones, much like a lot of big films in the late 90s, seemed to resist showing too much on television. Only twice in 1997 and once in 1999. You can see with the higher BMeT films that the bigger ones (Street Fighter, Junior) counter-intuitively played fewer times on television. Top Notability though, that’s sweet. FYI I’m not going to fill in the counts for all of them, too much work, but fun still.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – If “The Flintstones” had been able to devise a story as interesting as its production values, it would have been some kind of wonderful. This is a great-looking movie, a triumph of set design and special effects, creating a fantasy world halfway between suburbia and a prehistoric cartoon. The frame is filled with delightful and inventive notions, all based on the idea that modern America might somehow be reconstructed out of rocks. Just watching it is fun. … Maybe kids just plain won’t mind; they’ll disregard the story and enjoy the stone age gags. But “The Flintstones” does so well with the hard part of creating its world that it’s a shame the earlier part – putting a story into it – doesn’t measure up.

(I can tell you … I didn’t give a shit when I was a kid. This movie was fucking dope. I still can’t believe it is considered a bad movie.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-uN0rHF7Ig/

(Jeez, Moranis and Goodman are so good. I really hate the bait and switch at the beginning, but my god this looks incredible. People must have been like shit we can just make cartoons now.)

Directors – Brian Levant – ( Known For: Max 2: White House Hero; Future BMT: Beethoven; The Spy Next Door; Snow Dogs; BMT: Jingle All the Way; The Flintstones; Are We There Yet?; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Problem Child 2; Notes: Kind of incredible that Jingle All the Way was I think by far his biggest film. He was doing something right. We need to smash out all of the Beethoven films at some point … well, maybe not all of them.)

Writers – Tom S. Parker and Jim Jennewein – ( Known For: Stay Tuned; Future BMT: Richie Rich; Major League II; Getting Even with Dad; BMT: The Flintstones; Notes: Wait … we are watching two of their films in this cycle alone? That’s nuts. Getting Even with Dad, Richie Rich, and Major League II both came out in ‘94 and were huge cable hits. Crazy.)

Steven E. de Souza – ( Known For: Die Hard; Die Hard 2; Commando; The Running Man; 48 Hrs.; Ricochet; Blast; The Return of Captain Invincible; Future BMT: Street Fighter; Bad Dreams; BMT: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life; Judge Dredd; Beverly Hills Cop III; The Flintstones; Hudson Hawk; Another 48 Hrs.; Knock Off; Notes: It is incredible we are almost done with this filmography. As a matter of fact … I just have to watch Blast, Bad Dreams, and The Return of Captain Invincible to seemingly finish off his filmography personally. That’s crazy.)

Actors – John Goodman – ( Known For: Monsters, Inc.; The Big Lebowski; Argo; Cars; Monsters University; Flight; 10 Cloverfield Lane; Kong: Skull Island; O Brother, Where Art Thou?; The Artist; The Emperor’s New Groove; Atomic Blonde; Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets; Bee Movie; The Princess and the Frog; Inside Llewyn Davis; Raising Arizona; The Campaign; Barton Fink; Patriots Day; Future BMT: The Hangover Part III; The Internship; Evan Almighty; The Monuments Men; Coyote Ugly; Death Sentence; One Night at McCool’s; Dirty Work; Love the Coopers; The Jungle Book 2; King Ralph; We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story; Ratchet & Clank; The Survivors; Burglar; Born Yesterday; Stella; BMT: Transformers: Age of Extinction; Transformers: The Last Knight; The Flintstones; Confessions of a Shopaholic; Notes: Guess which one of his many films played the most on television in the 90s? That’s right, let’s say it together … Born Yesterday? Huh. Literally the second least popular available BMT qualifier for him, but played over 90 times in the 90s. That’s patently insane.)

Rick Moranis – ( Known For: Ghostbusters; Ghostbusters II; Spaceballs; Honey, I Shrunk the Kids; Little Shop of Horrors; Parenthood; Honey, I Blew Up the Kid; L.A. Story; Little Giants; Streets of Fire; My Blue Heaven; Strange Brew; The Wild Life; Howard; Future BMT: Brother Bear; Brewster’s Millions; Club Paradise; Big Bully; Splitting Heirs; Head Office; BMT: The Flintstones; Notes: It is insane that Ghostbusters II played over 200 times on television in the 90s. Moranis is such an incredible 90s actor. If his films played on different days each time then over 30% of the dates in the 90s would have a Moranis film playing. What?!)

Rosie O’Donnell – ( Known For: Tarzan; Sleepless in Seattle; Pitch Perfect 2; A League of Their Own; Hedwig and the Angry Inch; Beautiful Girls; A Very Brady Sequel; Harriet the Spy; Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey; Wide Awake; I’ll Do Anything; I’m Going to Tell You a Secret; Teenage Paparazzo; The Undefeated; The Twilight of the Golds; Everything Is Copy; Being Mary Tyler Moore; ShowBusiness: The Road to Broadway; Future BMT: Another Stakeout; BMT: The Flintstones; Now and Then; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Fatal Instinct; Exit to Eden; Car 54, Where Are You?; Notes: She gets a bunch of plays on television in supporting roles … but the weirdest one is The Twilight of the Golds. I think I even brought this one up before, it is about a debate a family has about an unborn child which genetic will be born gay. Like WHAT?!)

Budget/Gross – $46,000,000 / Domestic: $130,531,208 (Worldwide: $341,631,208)

(Holy shit, that is a lot of money. Not surprising. The film is genuinely good and everyone else was dumb and wrong at the time.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (11/48): The Flintstones wastes beloved source material and imaginative production design on a tepid script that plunks Bedrock’s favorite family into a cynical story awash with lame puns.

(Fine, alright … yeah, it is kind of a waste. They aren’t wrong about that. But man, imagine the sequel we could have gotten with the original awesome cast? Phew.)

Reviewer Highlight: Mostly rock jokes stretched to feature length – New York Times listing

Poster – The Flintsklogs

(There is a lot going on in this poster, but I am a sucker for a classic drawn poster. Like look at that detail! It’s pretty great. Nice font. The only thing I’d do is 86 the bird. It’s too much. Keep it to the main characters. A-)

Tagline(s) – Yabba-Dabba-Doo! (C)

(That’s a fastball right down the middle. Can’t blame them. Can’t reward them.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993), The Bone Collector (1999)

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.4 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.3 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 67.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.1 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.0 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.7 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.5 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.1 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.4 The Mangler (1995), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 59.7 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.5 Jury Duty (1995), 58.1 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.9 Holy Man (1998)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Wild Wild West (1999), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Cool as Ice (1991), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), …

Best Options (Gothika): 67.1 The Flintstones (1994), 55.0 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 46.8 B*A*P*S (1997), 41.9 Black & White (1999), 41.0 Feeling Minnesota (1996), 39.9 In Dreams (1999), 37.0 Girl 6 (1996), 35.2 The Fan (1996), 34.7 Father Hood (1993), 30.3 The Distinguished Gentleman (1992), 28.5 The Rich Man’s Wife (1996), 26.7 The Pagemaster (1994), 26.4 Race the Sun (1996), 24.9 A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994), 22.9 Nick of Time (1995), 21.9 Screamers (1995), 20.2 Strictly Business (1991), 16.6 U.S. Marshals (1998), 14.7 The Bone Collector (1999)

(Wowza. Amazing it is the best option because we really started to have our hands tied going back in time and then jumping back up to a 2024 film. But yeah, this was a blockbuster (in the BMT sense))

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Elizabeth Perkins is No. 2 billed in The Flintstones and No. 4 billed in The Ring Two, which also stars Naomi Watts (No. 1 billed) who is in Diana (No. 1 billed) which also stars Naveen Andrews (No. 2 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 4 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (2 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 4) + (1 + 2) = 17. If we were to watch Must Love Dogs, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Danny DeVito was Steven Spielberg ‘s first choice for the part of Barney. DeVito felt his acting style was too gruff to properly portray Barney, and turned the part down. Subsequently, DeVito recommended Rick Moranis for the part.

Since the entire cast performed barefoot, glassware was banned from the set to prevent injuries.

The appearance of the Flintstones’ sabre-toothed cat marks one of the first times for a furry CG character in a feature film. A specific, complex algorithm (for its time) had to be developed to calculate the movement of every single hair of the fur.

On Dame Elizabeth Taylor’s first day onset, she was greeted with 30 bouquets of flowers, a Cartier watch, a prehistoric bowling ball with her name engraved on it and a bottle of her Passion perfume, redesigned in Bedrock-style fashion. The same bottle appears in the film.

Mel Blanc receives a credit for the voice of Dino five years after his death. The dialogue is taken directly from The Flintstones (1960).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel (Bruce Cohen)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Rosie O’Donnell)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Elizabeth Taylor)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Tom S. Parker, Jim Jennewein, Steven E. de Souza, Al Aidekman, Kate Barker, Cindy Begel, Ruth Bennett, Bruce Cohen, Robert Conte, Rob Dames, Lon Diamond, Michael J. Di Gaetano, Fred Fox Jr., Lloyd Garver, Daniel Goldin, Joshua Goldin, Richard Gurman, Jason Hoffs, Brian Levant, Babaloo Mandel, Mitch Markowitz, Ron Osborn, Jeff Reno, David Richardson, Leonard Ripps, Gary Ross, Dava Savel, David Silverman, Nancy Steen, Stephen Sustarsic, Roy Teicher, Neil Thompson, Michael G. Wilson, Peter Wortmann)

Justice League Preview

Jamie and Patrick boogie their way across the dance floor. The wedding was a smash hit. It was simulcast across every channel and used more energy than the country of Brazil. They cheers their beers and mack on some cake. Everything has come up Movie Twins since they kicked Kevin James’ head clean off. “I’m so proud of you,” Patrick says, remembering his own wedding back when things were simpler. When he didn’t have six children. When he hadn’t kicked a man’s head clean off. “I’m proud of me, too,” Jamie responds, tears in his eyes, remembering his own salad days filled with carefree innocence and demon boxes. “If only…” they say at the same time. Embarrassed, Patrick tells Jamie that he should go first. “No, no,” Jamie insists, “please, I interrupted you.” This goes on for hours. It’s charming. Finally they agree that they’ll both say it at the same time. One. Two. Three. “If only Dad were here,” they say and smile. Twins! “Maybe I am,” they whirl around and are shocked to see Scott Bakula. “Bakula the Snackula! My man!” Jamie says, giving Scott Bakula a big hug. “I really appreciate it, but we were kind of thinking of our real Dad.” Jamie smiles a bit sadly, but Scott Bakula puts a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe I am,” he says, tears streaming down his face, splashing on the genetic test report he has held in his hand that definitively determines that he is their father. The crowd goes wild. “I’d like to make a toast!” Scott Bakula declares. “To my sons, to the Bad Movie Twins, and to the dream father and sons team!” With that he reveals a new website. No longer Bad Movie Twins, but rather Bad Movie… Family. “Dream Team,” they all whisper. That’s right! We are doing the not-so-original dream team film, Justice League. Like many of the DC films this was critically reviled. But was it hated because it was compared to The Avengers? Or was it hated because it was taking away from Zack Snyder and chopped to pieces? Or is it just junk? Time to find out. Let’s go!

Justice League (2017) – BMeTric: 31.1; Notability: 117

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.4%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 26.2%; Higher BMeT: The Emoji Movie, Death Note, Jeepers Creepers III, Fifty Shades Darker, Rings, The Bye Bye Man, Snatched, Day of the Dead: Bloodline, The Snowman, Transformers: The Last Knight, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, The Humanity Bureau, Leatherface, The Layover, Amityville: The Awakening, Flatliners, Wish Upon, Geostorm, The Circle, The Vault, and 26 more; Higher Notability: Transformers: The Last Knight; Lower RT: The Layover, Flatliners, Just Getting Started, Hangman, The Emoji Movie, The Snowman, Rings, Tulip Fever, American Renegades, Fifty Shades Darker, Day of the Dead: Bloodline, The Vanishing of Sidney Hall, The Mummy, The Dark Tower, The Circle, Transformers: The Last Knight, The Space Between Us, Jeepers Creepers III, Baywatch, Geostorm, and 43 more; Notes: 100+ notabilities are awesome. Even more absurd that The Last Night beat it. What the hell.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – It’s frustrating to see “Justice League” fail to get out of its own way, because whenever it does, it shrugs off the burdens of its famously troubled production and becomes special. An exact accounting of what went wrong is a matter for an investigative reporter, not a film reviewer, but one would assume that the filmmaking process wasn’t helped by the studio’s sudden, post-“Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice” demand that the story add humor and camaraderie. Ditto the March, 2017 death of director Zack Snyder’s daughter, which put Joss Whedon, who’d already been hired for rewrites, in charge of post-production (including the CGI erasure of a mustache that Cavill grew after he thought the shoot had wrapped—a dubious technical triumph that results in some weird-looking close-ups). The extent of Whedon’s involvement in this rescue operation is anybody’s guess. Regardless, the end product is coherent: funny but rarely glib, serious but unpretentious, and better than it had any right to be.

(Very funny that this reviews seems to like it. I guess it isn’t unlikely. 40% of critics liked it. I just would have had the impression that big critics would have hated it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXrgvNXfN7M/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXrgvNXfN7M/

(Kind of cool trailer I suppose. Besides the extremely muted colors. The terrible remix of a famous song. The “My man!” bit in the middle. The dumb looking bad guys and too-high-stakes CGI-fest. … Besides all that it looks cool.)

Directors – Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Watchmen; Dawn of the Dead; Man of Steel; Army of the Dead; Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Sucker Punch; Notes: He is his own genre. Smashed it with 300, but I think the wheels have come off. He basically just plays the hits for his devoted fans at this point.)

Writers – Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Man of Steel; Superman; The Lego Batman Movie; Superman Returns; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Superman II; Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut; Reign of the Supermen; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Superman III; Superman IV: The Quest for Peace; Notes: These are going to be the comic book creators of Superman.)

Chris Terrio – ( Known For: Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Argo; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Notes: Him writing Argo makes me think he’s Affleck’s guy. I think this guy probably actually wrote the film.)

Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Wonder Woman; Army of the Dead; 300: Rise of an Empire; Army of Thieves; BMT: Justice League; Sucker Punch; Notes: He really got the car keys for this guy. I’ll eventually watch his four hour Justice League cut. I can’t really imagine the point.)

Joss Whedon – ( Known For: The Avengers; Toy Story; Avengers: Age of Ultron; The Cabin in the Woods; Atlantis: The Lost Empire; Serenity; Alien: Resurrection; Titan A.E.; In Your Eyes; Much Ado About Nothing; Future BMT: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; BMT: Justice League; Notes: Famously came in to take over after Snyder had to leave the production. By all accounts he was a colossal dick on set and the stories that came out afterwards was instrumental in destroying his career. Good job.)

Gardner Fox and Bob Kane and Bill Finger – ( Known For: The Batman; The Dark Knight; Joker; The Dark Knight Rises; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Batman; Batman Begins; Batman Returns; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman: The Movie; Batman Ninja; Batman; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Batman and Robin; Scooby-Doo & Batman: The Brave and the Bold; Future BMT: Batman: The Killing Joke; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Batman & Robin; Batman Forever; Catwoman; Notes: And these are going to be the Batman guys. Fox doesn’t seem to get credit much, but here he is.)

William Moulton Marston – ( Known For: Shazam! Fury of the Gods; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Wonder Woman; Wonder Woman 1984; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Wonder Woman: Bloodlines; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Notes: Ah this would be the Wonder Woman guy. His story is nuts. He was in a polyamorous relationship and Wonder Woman is explicitly based on either his wife or the woman they were in a relationship with. Fun story.)

Jack Kirby – ( Known For: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Avengers: Endgame; Black Panther: Wakanda Forever; Avengers: Infinity War; Eternals; Iron Man; The Avengers; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Ant-Man; Thor; Black Panther; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Thor: Ragnarok; Captain Marvel; Captain America: Civil War; Iron Man Three; Iron Man 2; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; BMT: Justice League; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: Kirby is all over all comic books, both Marvel and DC.)

Actors – Ben Affleck – ( Known For: Air; Good Will Hunting; Dazed and Confused; Gone Girl; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Accountant; Deep Water; The Town; The Last Duel; Argo; Triple Frontier; Field of Dreams; Dogma; Clerks III; Daredevil; The Tender Bar; The Way Back; He’s Just Not That Into You; School Ties; Shakespeare in Love; Future BMT: Hypnotic; Smokin’ Aces; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Live by Night; 200 Cigarettes; Surviving Christmas; BMT: Suicide Squad; Justice League; Pearl Harbor; Armageddon; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Paycheck; Gigli; Runner Runner; Reindeer Games; Phantoms; Notes: He’s married to J-Lo now. He also won two Oscars, one for Good Will Hunting and the other as a producer for Argo. He’s had his ups and downs. I thought for a split second he might get an make-up Oscar nod for Air, but I think that is a long long shot.)

Gal Gadot – ( Known For: Fast X; Shazam! Fury of the Gods; Fast Five; Furious 6; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Death on the Nile; Red Notice; Wonder Woman; Knight and Day; Wonder Woman 1984; Ralph Breaks the Internet; Date Night; Between Two Ferns: The Movie; Triple 9; Kicking Out Shoshana; Future BMT: Criminal; BMT: Fast & Furious; Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Keeping Up with the Joneses; Notes: Famously a former Mossad agent in the Israeli army. In the few things I’ve seen her in she’s quite charming. Wonder Woman was good.)

Jason Momoa – ( Known For: Fast X; Dune; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Aquaman; Slumberland; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; The Bad Batch; Wolves; Sweet Girl; The Last Manhunt; Braven; Bullet to the Head; Once Upon a Time in Venice; Road to Paloma; Sugar Mountain; Debug; Future BMT: Johnson Family Vacation; BMT: Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Conan the Barbarian; Notes: Former WWE wrestler, and maybe the most successful version of that at the moment now that The Rock’s career is … on the rocks. Kind of broke through with his relatively small role on Game of Thrones, and now he had supporting performances in things like Dune.)

Budget/Gross – $300 million / Domestic: $229,024,295 (Worldwide: $657,926,987)

(That is pretty terrible for what they wanted, and spoiler, it never got better. This year DC’s grand plans died and they are kind of back to the drawing board as to exactly what to do with their IP.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 39% (161/409): Justice League leaps over a number of DC movies, but its single bound isn’t enough to shed the murky aesthetic, thin characters, and chaotic action that continue to dog the franchise.

(Yeah it barely makes it haha. Murky aesthetic is otherwise known as that Snyder look.)

NY Times Short Review: In this superhero jamboree, the Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg sign on with the DC Comics team leaders Batman and Wonder Woman. (Psst … where’s Superman?)

Poster – Goodniks United

(I am a huge font proponent. Just look at my track record. Years and years of font promotion. I want font up the wazoo… but this… this is too far up the wazoo my friends. You have wandered too deep into the wazoo. This… this is no good. D.)

Tagline(s) – You can’t save the world alone. (C-)

(I don’t know where this tagline is from but at least it’s short. That’s all I got.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.7 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Little Man (2006), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Marmaduke (2010), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), … (and many more)

Best Options (suicide-squad): 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 62.2 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 53.9 Annie (2014), 51.7 Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2005), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 34.1 Shark Tale (2004), 32.3 Joe Dirt (2001), 31.1 Justice League (2017), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.0 War (2007), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018), 17.0 Saw II (2005), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015)

(Very borderline (Ezra Miller is in Suicide Squad for like five seconds), but it checks out. I just want to get through all the DC films you know?)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ben Affleck is No. 1 billed in Justice League and No. 1 billed in Pearl Harbor, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – When the film was shown in Iceland, which uses subtitles rather than dialog dubbing for films with non-Icelandic languages, Jason Momoa’s pronunciation of his single line of Icelandic was so unintelligible that it had to be subtitled into Icelandic (often resulting in audience laughter).

Director Zack Snyder and his wife, producer Deborah Snyder, stepped down from finishing the film after the suicide of their daughter in March 2017. They tried to remain involved in the film as a way to work through the difficulty, but after two months decided to step away from the project to spend time with their family. Joss Whedon, who had signed on for Batgirl, took over as director, managing additional scenes that need to be included in the final cut. Warner Bros. have stated that Joss would direct and write in the same style as Zack so there won’t be any tonal shifts or obvious changes in style. However, Whedon controversially fired Snyder’s composer, Tom Holkenborg, and replaced him with Danny Elfman, who previously composed Whedon’s Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015).

Extensive reshoots in London and Los Angeles in mid-2017 added a cost of approximately $25 million to the film’s budget. Henry Cavill worked on the reshoots and Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018) at the same time. He had to sport a moustache for his role in the latter project. However, Paramount refused to let the actor shave it off to play Superman in the reshoots. This meant that Cavill’s facial hair had to be digitally removed in post-production. However, due to a tight schedule, the results were crude and were among the many criticisms of the theatrical version of the film.

Holt McCallany, who plays the burglar in the first scene with Batman, said the scene was written and shot by Joss Whedon as comedic, but Warner Bros. preferred to open the film with a more serious tone, and the scene was re-edited. When McCallany returned home to New York, he found a bottle of his favorite champagne at his door and a note from Whedon that said, ‘To battles lost. Gratefully, Joss.’ McCallany appreciated Whedon’s gesture and had the letter framed.

Due to the running time backlash of past DC movies, Warner Bros. demanded a film under two hours without credits. While the final running time for Justice League (2017) was only 119 minutes, the director’s cut, Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021), stands at a whopping 242 minutes.

Clash of the Titans (2010) Preview

“Why are we still here?” asks Jamie, a dark pall hanging over his features. “Because,” Michael explains, “you are meant to reconnect with people. Kevin James connects with people. If you understand that then we can leave. Beep boop” Patrick scoffs. “I think the answer to that starts with a ‘D’ and ends with an ‘uh.’ We aren’t total idiots, we know Paul Blart was a sensation.” They get up to leave. “Is that so?” Michael robot scoffs right back at them, “Then why did you spend,” he pauses, a mechanical whirring sound intensifying as he performs a quick numerical calculation, “1,146 words talking about Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 on BadMovieTwins.com and conclude, and I quote, ‘it’s trash.’ Beep boop?” This robot is asking for another punch to its robot chest. Jamie and Patrick clench their fists, but eventually sit back down. When he’s right, he’s right… and also they installed a titanium plate over his chest in the rebuild. Their fists would likely splinter in a cloud of pink mist if they attempted a similar punch a second time. They turn their attention back at the stage where Kevin James has launched into his third (and hopefully final) impression of who he calls Itch and Blow: The Dope-elgangers. The crowd is loving it. “Look at my abs! Look at my greasy abs!” Kevin James is screaming and the crowd wails. “Oh man, my balls are itchy,” he continues as Itch. The crowd gobbles it up. Jamie and Patrick grit their teeth and laugh along with the crowd. Whatever it takes to satisfy Michael. It’s working until Kevin James looks at them again and mouths “You stink, Bad Movie Twins.” That’s it! “Let’s pound some dweebs,” they say in unison, getting up from their chairs. That’s right! It’s a double this week with Clash of the Titans and Wrath of the Titans. If you wondered what Sam Worthington used his Avatar cache on, well… it was this. Let’s go!

Clash of the Titans (2010) – BMeTric: 41.2; Notability: 110

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 15.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.8%; Higher BMeT: The Last Airbender, Vampires Suck, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Skyline, Sex and the City 2, Furry Vengeance, Jonah Hex, Marmaduke, Gulliver’s Travels, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Yogi Bear, Tekken, My Soul to Take, Tooth Fairy, Legion, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Passion Play, The Back-up Plan, Why Did I Get Married Too?, Killers, and 18 more; Lower RT: Tekken, Passion Play, Twelve, 6 Souls, Shanghai, Vampires Suck, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, The Last Airbender, The Tortured, Waiting for Forever, 13, Furry Vengeance, Crazy on the Outside, Saw 3D, Marmaduke, Little Fockers, My Soul to Take, Killers, Grown Ups, Virginia, and 38 more; Notes: My god. A 100+ Notability. There can’t be very many of those we haven’t seen. Although we do tend to avoid the barely-qualifying big boys in general. Case in point: Justice League, coming up.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – There are too many Greek gods for me to keep straight, since as a child I didn’t have action figures as a learning tool. I was prepared to take notes during “Clash of the Titans” but only wrote down a single one: “Release the Kraken!” — Conan O’Brien. I know I was intended to be terrified by the release of the Kraken, but all I could think of was O’Brien shouting “Release the bear!” and then some guy in a bear suit runs out and sits on the lap of a guest. In this case, the Kraken is the nuclear option for Zeus, who has been persuaded by Hades to put down a revolt by the upstart mortals of Argos.

(Genuinely good review. I think that makes sense. The first is an adaptation of a good movie, and an adaptation of a real myth. It really depends on how much you can tolerate CGI nonsense. And at this point Ebert happily tolerated a bunch of that.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfyunOnMGqM/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfyunOnMGqM/

(Possibly the most iconic line in trailer history? Which is bizarre to think about. Anyways, it looks rad, but I hate the heavy metal soundtrack. Hate hate hate it.)

Directors – Louis Leterrier – ( Known For: Fast X; The Incredible Hulk; Now You See Me; The Transporter; Transporter 2; Unleashed; The Takedown; Future BMT: The Brothers Grimsby; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Notes: Won an Emmy for The Dark Crystal television show. And as you can see, in the news now since he is the director of Fast X.)

Writers – Travis Beacham – ( Known For: Pacific Rim; Pacific Rim: Uprising; Dog Days of Summer; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Notes: Mostly has been writing for TV recently, specifically Carnival Row.)

Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi – ( Known For: The Invitation; Destroyer; Crazy/Beautiful; BMT: Clash of the Titans; R.I.P.D.; Æon Flux; Ride Along; The Tuxedo; Ride Along 2; Notes: Also mostly television writers now, although in this case on a show I’ve never heard of, The Mysterious Benedict Society.)

Beverley Cross – ( Known For: Clash of the Titans; Jason and the Argonauts; Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger; The Long Ships; Genghis Khan; Half a Sixpence; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Nominated for several Tony Awards in 1965 for Half a Sixpence. Wrote the original Clash of the Titans, and was married to Maggie Smith.)

Actors – Sam Worthington – ( Known For: Simulant; Avatar: The Way of Water; Avatar; Hacksaw Ridge; Everest; Fractured; Last Night; Rogue; Cake; The Titan; Lansky; The Debt; The Last Son; Texas Killing Fields; 9 Bullets; Hart’s War; The Keeping Room; The Hunter’s Prayer; Kidnapping Mr. Heineken; Paper Planes; Future BMT: Terminator Salvation; The Shack; Man on a Ledge; The Great Raid; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Wrath of the Titans; Sabotage; Notes: Y’all know Sam Worthington … wait do you? He’s Australian, and an ultimate “that guy.” Seemed like he was going to be a big star, and then ended up “merely” being the somewhat faceless star of the Avatar series.)

Liam Neeson – ( Known For: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Schindler’s List; The Dark Knight Rises; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Batman Begins; Love Actually; The Ballad of Buster Scruggs; Gangs of New York; Taken; Excalibur; The Lego Movie; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; The A-Team; Widows; The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian; Silence; Run All Night; Ted 2; Future BMT: Marlowe; Kingdom of Heaven; Men in Black: International; The Marksman; Krull; Taken 3; A Million Ways to Die in the West; Taken 2; Entourage; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Daddy’s Home 2; High Spirits; The Nut Job; Before and After; BMT: Battleship; Memory; Clash of the Titans; Blacklight; The Haunting; Wrath of the Titans; Notes: Now, you definitely know Liam Neeson. Makes a bunch of garbage now, but … no wait, he’s always made garbage. Check out his 80s and 90s. It is bonkers. He’s Irish. Nominated for an Oscar for Schindler’s List.)

Ralph Fiennes – ( Known For: The Menu; Schindler’s List; The Grand Budapest Hotel; No Time to Die; The King’s Man; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2; The Hurt Locker; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1; In Bruges; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Red Dragon; Skyfall; Spectre; The Reader; Official Secrets; The Forgiven; The Lego Batman Movie; The English Patient; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Future BMT: Maid in Manhattan; BMT: Clash of the Titans; Dolittle; Wrath of the Titans; The Avengers; Holmes & Watson; Notes: Nominated for two Oscars (Schindler’s List and The English Patient). He’s English and you best believe he’s related to Hero Fiennes Tiffin (his nephew).)

Budget/Gross – $125,000,000 / Domestic: $163,214,888 (Worldwide: $493,214,993)

(That’s a solid haul. It would probably be considered a huge disaster now for dumb reasons, but at the time I’m sure getting to around half a billion and with home video sales it was a solid take.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 27% (72/266): An obviously affectionate remake of the 1981 original, Louis Leterrier’s Clash of the Titans doesn’t offer enough visual thrills to offset the deficiencies of its script.

(I mean, some people would disagree, namely Roger Ebert, ever head of him? Having watched it, the CGI is actually quite good with one exception which is the giant scorpions which look like trash.)

NY Times Short Review: A remake of a 1981 film features swords, sandals and monsters, this time around in 3-D.

Poster – Clash of the Tight Twins

(Too bland. But good font and honestly it would have been a crime if they didn’t make a poster like this following the success of 300. Would have been gross negligence. B.)

Tagline(s) – The Clash Begins 2.4.2010 (F)

(Booooooooooooooo.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.4 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005),… (and many more)

Best Options (Action): 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 56.8 Land of the Lost (2009), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 44.6 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009), 44.5 Wrath of the Titans (2012), 44.0 Allegiant (2016), 41.2 Clash of the Titans (2010), 40.9 Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), 40.6 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 36.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016), 34.3 Van Helsing (2004), 34.2 The Tourist (2010), 34.1 Taken 3 (2014), 33.4 Sahara (2005), 32.3 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991), 31.1 Justice League (2017), 30.3 The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016), 29.4 Waist Deep (2006), 27.9 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.7 Dracula Untold (2014), 27.6 Rush Hour 3 (2007), 27.3 Antitrust (2001), 27.0 War (2007), 25.6 Pokémon: The First Movie – Mewtwo Strikes Back (1998), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 24.6 King Arthur (2004), 22.0 Now You See Me 2 (2016), 21.7 Let’s Be Cops (2014), 21.0 Act of Valor (2012), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Kick-Ass 2 (2013), 17.0 Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010), 16.9 Eagle Eye (2008), 16.7 Tears of the Sun (2003), 14.8 The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 14.8 Angels & Demons (2009), 12.8 The Island (2005), 9.3 Underworld (2003), 6.6 Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

(We went for a two-fer here. Totally worth it, even after my brain melted at hour four of this CGI nonsense.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Gemma Arterton is No. 2 billed in Clash of the Titans and No. 2 billed in Runner Runner, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 12. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Emma Thompson almost made an accidental uncredited cameo in this movie while visiting friend Liam Neeson on the set. Thompson, who’d been filming Nanny McPhee Returns (2010) in an adjacent studio, went to visit Neeson during a break, just as Neeson was about to shoot a scene with Ralph Fiennes and Danny Huston. Unable to exit the set fast enough as the cameras began to roll, Thompson, in her clumsy Nanny McPhee costume, had to hide behind Huston’s throne during the take so she would not be picked up by the cameras.

The language of Djinn is actually Arabic.

The word Kraken (sea monster) is Norwegian/Swedish, not Greek. Early script drafts considered changing it to its Hebrew counterpart Leviathan (famous from the Bible hymn of Job 41). It was changed back to Kraken as a tribute to the original Clash of the Titans (1981) tagline “Release the Kraken!” Surprisingly, the creature’s Greek name, Cetus, was never considered.

Sam Worthington’s sandals are Nike Trainers with toes painted on them. He didn’t wear sandals because he needed shoes to perform the stunts well.

In Greek mythology, Io is Perseus’ great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother, and an old flame of his father Zeus.

Although Greek mythology contains different versions of the story of Perseus, the film deviates from all of them in some parts. Perseus supposedly flew to an island using winged sandals he borrowed from Hermes, and Medusa was only one of three Gorgons (i.e. half-woman half snake creatures with serpents for hair, the other two were called Stheno and Euryale).

The mechanical owl Bubo, from Clash of the Titans (1981), has a cameo as the toy Perseus picks up before he leaves on his quest. According to the filmmakers, the cameo was widely debated as to whether to keep it in the film, or not. It was eventually decided to keep it in the film, to please the fans of the original film.

Originally, Perseus was envisioned as being more of a young slender man. Louis Leterrier had watched Sam Worthington in the film Somersault (2004), and thought that he would be ideal, and was therefore somewhat taken aback when he met Worthington. The actor had bulked up considerably for his roles in Avatar (2009) and Terminator Salvation (2009).

The Stygian Witches were actually played by men.

The volcano scenes were shot at the Dinorwic Slate Quarry in Wales. This is a famous location, used for fantasies like Willow (1988) and Street Fighter (1994).

Suicide Squad (2016) Preview

“We’re sorry, Mr. Dudikoff,” Patrick wails. He promises they’ll watch Citizen Kane. They won’t mention anything about possible sequels or squeakuels. They won’t drop scorching hot hot takes, or determine specific dates and times of the film. “Themes!” Patrick yells, “Themes and motifs! Just let us stay! Please!” Jamie leans against a nearby bust of Benjamin Franklin. He pops a Coors Light and the buttons on his tearaway sweatpants. His rocky mountains are blue, that’s how cool he is. Ever since he bumped into Gutes something has changed in Jamie. Rulez are Coolz, that’s for sure, but like… who’s rules? BMT rules are cool. GMT rules are cool. Gutes’ rules? Definitely cool. The rules at this school? Not cool. Drake looks back and forth at Patrick and Jamie. One begging to watch Citizen Kane every day for a year, the other now eight Coors Lights deep dressed only in a pair of jorts practicing what appeared to be capoeira. “Wonderful,” Drake says and both Patrick and Jamie stop. “You two are perfect. You remind me of myself. Well me and Charlie to be more accurate. So much the same and yet so different. Gripping onto rules with white knuckles and yet bucking against them at the same time.” He rings a bell and out from a side door walks a man… an identical man. “Hello, I’m Charlie Dudikoff, welcome to my school,” he says, “We need your help. We need the help of the only squad that can get down and dirty with the baddest of the bad and also have a really cool name. We hope that’s you. Are you ready?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other and nod. “Great,” Drake says, “Congratulations, you are now part of the Ultra-Hard Party.” Patrick and Jamie grimace a little. That’s right! We are doubling up on some DC delectables with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad. It’s tough sledding, but we’ve mustered all our strength. Let’s go!

Suicide Squad (2016) – BMeTric: 37.9; Notability: 110

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 17.6%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 21.2%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Black, Zoolander 2, Cell, The Forest, Exposed, Yoga Hosers, Meet the Blacks, Cabin Fever, Norm of the North, Max Steel, The Darkness, Dark Crimes, God’s Not Dead 2, Blair Witch, The 5th Wave, Urge, Gods of Egypt, Get a Job, The Assignment, The Boss, and 24 more; Higher Notability: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Lower RT: Max Steel, Urge, Cabin Fever, Dark Crimes, Amateur Night, True Memoirs of an International Assassin, Wild Oats, The Darkness, Fifty Shades of Black, Norm of the North, Misconduct, Mother’s Day, Exposed, The Last Face, The Do-Over, Get a Job, I.T., God’s Not Dead 2, The Forest, Dirty Grandpa, and 32 more; Notes: My God, I forgot both these movies came out in the same year. The top two Notability films of 2016 knocked out in one go.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – At one point in the slog that is “Suicide Squad,” Will Smith’s character laments that he and his team of reluctant do-gooders must battle “the swirling ring of trash in the sky.” That’s a pretty apt description of the movie as a whole, too: It’s massive, messy and noisy. And it stinks.

(Yeeeeeeeeeeeah. That sounds right. Kind of absurd I’ve never seen these movies until now. But you know why I haven’t? Because they seem like huuuuuuuge wastes of time.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0Xb9BhfVjY/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0Xb9BhfVjY/

(Wow that was a long trailer. Decent though. Not that surprising since Suicide Squad managed to have one of the best trailers ever for a bad movie. The Queen one. I can’t find it online which is too bad, it was real good.)

Directors – David Ayer – ( Known For: Fury; End of Watch; Bright; The Tax Collector; Harsh Times; Future BMT: Street Kings; BMT: Suicide Squad; Sabotage; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Suicide Squad in 2017; Notes: Was something of a street kid in L.A. growing up and then joined the Navy as a submariner.)

Writers – David Ayer – ( Known For: Fury; Training Day; S.W.A.T.; End of Watch; The Tax Collector; U-571; Harsh Times; Dark Blue; BMT: Suicide Squad; The Fast and the Furious; Sabotage; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Suicide Squad in 2017; Notes: I find it interesting that for all of the accolades of Training Day got, the screenplay really didn’t get much in terms of recognition.)

John Ostrander – (Notes: He’s uncredited as the writer of some of the comics seemingly. And while IMDb has him as a writer, TMDb insists that he merely got a “thanks” on the film. Which is why his section here is empty. A little behind the curtain details on some of the algorithmic quirks of the template.)

Actors – Will Smith – ( Known For: Independence Day; Emancipation; Men in Black; Aladdin; I, Robot; The Pursuit of Happyness; Men in Black 3; Jersey Girl; Enemy of the State; I Am Legend; Bad Boys; Bad Boys for Life; King Richard; Focus; Hancock; Bright; Hitch; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; Ali; Spies in Disguise; Future BMT: Shark Tale; Bad Boys II; Seven Pounds; Gemini Man; Collateral Beauty; Made in America; BMT: Suicide Squad; Men in Black II; After Earth; Wild Wild West; Winter’s Tale; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for After Earth in 2014; Winner for Worst Screen Couple, and Worst Original Song for Wild Wild West in 2000; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Notes: Remember when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock and then won a Best Actor Oscar for King Richard? He was nominated two other times as well.)

Jared Leto – ( Known For: Fight Club; Blade Runner 2049; American Psycho; Requiem for a Dream; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; House of Gucci; The Little Things; Girl, Interrupted; Dallas Buyers Club; Mr. Nobody; The Thin Red Line; Lord of War; Panic Room; Phone Booth; The Outsider; How to Make an American Quilt; Lonely Hearts; Prefontaine; Chapter 27; Highway; Future BMT: Alexander; Switchback; Black & White; BMT: Suicide Squad; Morbius; Urban Legend; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for Morbius in 2023; Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for House of Gucci in 2022; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Suicide Squad in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for House of Gucci in 2022; Notes: Notable for being a method acting weirdo. He was/is in a band with his brother called Thirty Seconds to Mars. Won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club.)

Margot Robbie – ( Known For: Babylon; Once Upon a Time in Hollywood; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Suicide Squad; The Big Short; Bombshell; About Time; I, Tonya; Birds of Prey; Focus; Mary Queen of Scots; Peter Rabbit; Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway; Terminal; Dreamland; Whiskey Tango Foxtrot; Goodbye Christopher Robin; Suite Française; Slaughterhouse Rulez; Z for Zachariah; Future BMT: The Legend of Tarzan; BMT: Amsterdam; Suicide Squad; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar twice for I, Tonya and Bombshell. Very excited for the upcoming Barbie film where she stars as (one of many, seemingly) Barbie.)

Budget/Gross – $175,000,000 / Domestic: $325,100,054 (Worldwide: $746,846,894)

(That is a huge film. That is plenty of money to say this was a reasonable success even prior to considering things like streaming rights and stuff.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (102/391): Suicide Squad boasts a talented cast and a little more humor than previous DCEU efforts, but they aren’t enough to save the disappointing end result from a muddled plot, thinly written characters, and choppy directing.

(Jesus, nearly 400 reviews on that guy. A little more humor sounds a little backhanded if I’m being honest. Like … just a little. Compared to the completely humorless Batman v Superman that probably points to it not being enough.)

Reviewer Highlight: For all its cast and crew’s inglorious chest-thumping, Suicide Squad is a failed, forced exercise in - of all things! you had one job! - ensemble chemistry. – K. Austin Collins, The Ringer

Poster – Ultra-Hard Party

(Definitely a trend in posters. Everything Everywhere All At Once had one that was similar. I don’t like it cause it’s breaking my rulez… my rulez that I made up and so are hard and fast. Although great font. Very solid font. And clever. B-.)

Tagline(s) – Worst. Heroes. Ever. (C+)

(I could make a snarky comment here, but I won’t because it’s not. It’s not great, but it’s eyecatching I guess and gets the point across. It actually makes a lot more sense as a Harley Quinn movie tagline and not Suicide Squad.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (Killer-Elite): 43.0 Young Einstein (1988), 35.1 The Fan (1996)

(Yeah so this wasn’t in the main dataset. And the options were either no fun (Young Einstein) or involved the actor we just used to get to Killer Elite (The Fan). So, Jamie went above and beyond and found some 2010s era newspaper info to deduce that Suicide Squad played on the same day at Citizen Kane at least once.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jared Leto is No. 2 billed in Suicide Squad and No. 2 billed in Urban Legend, which also stars Alicia Witt (No. 1 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 11. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Margot Robbie began training six months prior to shooting the film. Her training routine included gymnastics, boxing, weapons training, aerial silk training, and learning to hold her breath underwater for extended periods of time.

Margot Robbie revealed at San Diego Comic-Con International 2016 that although the cast members of the squad had extensive rehearsals together, she and Jared Leto did not rehearse prior to filming their scenes. She and director David Ayer felt it added to the unpredictability and madness of Harley Quinn and the Joker.

To prepare for his role as Deadshot, Will Smith shaved his head, and spent time training with Navy SEALs and Army Rangers, practicing firing a Glock 9mm handgun and an AR-15 rifle.

Tom Hardy was originally cast as Rick Flag, but dropped out to do The Revenant (2015). Hardy had previously played Bane in The Dark Knight Rises (2012), who was a former member of the Suicide Squad in the comic books. Hardy later expressed his regret at leaving the role, given that he did not want to lose the work.

Margot Robbie did the majority of her own stunts.

Margot Robbie kept the live rat that Jared Leto sent her and she even gave it a name; “Rat-Rat”, she added “If Harley got something from Joker, she’d probably cherish it”, she told E! Magazine.

It took the make-up team five hours for the prosthetic make-up to be applied to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, with the make-up applied to his head and shoulders, while the rest was body paint.

Ryan Gosling was sought out first for the role of the Joker. He reportedly turned down the role because he did not want to sign on for a multi-picture deal that the studio was requiring.

Jared Leto got so immersed in playing the Joker that he wouldn’t break out of character on set even when he wasn’t filming. He even sent his fellow cast members “Joker-like” presents: a live rat to Margot Robbie, and bullets to Will Smith, a soiled Playboy magazine to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, and a dead hog, anal beads, and used condoms for the whole crew. Scott Eastwood commented that Leto frightened him at times with his behavior, and Smith mentioned that he actually never met the real Leto.

Early cuts of the film included more interaction with Captain Boomerang and Harley Quinn, with Harley severely disliking him despite growing affectionate to all the other members of the squad.

The Joker’s car, the Jokermobile, is a customized based on a Infiniti G35 Vaydor [V35].

Jared Leto chose not to re-watch the performance given by Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight (2008) because he felt he needed to form his own version of the character. He did not want to copy or lift material from any previous film version. Instead, he focused more on the comic book versions of the iconic villain.

After renowned writer and director Kevin Smith received Harley Quinn’s bat he gave it to his daughter, Harley Quinn Smith.

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje did extensive research for Killer Croc, reading decades worth of material from the comics with the character. He also observed actual crocodiles and researched cannibalism.

When Harley smashes a storefront window to steal a purse, the shirts on display in the window read “SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM” which in Latin reads “If you want peace, prepare for war.”

The Ace Chemicals scene where Joker finishes Harley’s transformation was initially longer in the original cut, with Harley jumping into the chemicals and with more bits of dialogue from Joker.

The baseball bat used by Harley Quinn was given to Kevin Smith as a “thank you” for hosting Dawn of the Justice League (2016).

Awards – Winner for the Oscar for Best Achievement in Makeup and Hairstyling (Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini, Christopher Allen Nelson, 2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Jared Leto, 2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (David Ayer, 2017)

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Preview

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) – BMeTric: 22.2; Notability: 148

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 28.8%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.7%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Black, Zoolander 2, Cell, The Forest, Exposed, Yoga Hosers, Meet the Blacks, Cabin Fever, Norm of the North, Max Steel, The Darkness, Dark Crimes, God’s Not Dead 2, Blair Witch, Independence Day: Resurgence, The 5th Wave, Urge, Gods of Egypt, Get a Job, The Assignment, and 52 more; Lower RT: Max Steel, Urge, Cabin Fever, Dark Crimes, Amateur Night, True Memoirs of an International Assassin, Wild Oats, The Darkness, Fifty Shades of Black, Norm of the North, Misconduct, Mother’s Day, Exposed, The Last Face, The Do-Over, Get a Job, I.T., God’s Not Dead 2, The Forest, Dirty Grandpa, and 38 more; Notes: The highest Notability of the year! The BMeTric is surprising low, but I’ve said it elsewhere: Snyder has a weird fanbase who likes his very specific sub-genre of action films.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” is state of the art epic superhero filmmaking. That’s a compliment if you prefer these movies to be ponderous, disorganized and glum, but a warning if you prefer tonal variation from film to film and scene to scene, and have a soft spot for storytelling that actually tells, you know, a story, as opposed to doing an occasionally inspired but mostly just competent job of setting up the next chapter in a Marvel-styled franchise.

There are a few brilliantly realized moments, the acting is mostly strong despite the weak script (Affleck and Cavill are both superb—Affleck unexpectedly so), and there’s enough mythic raw material sunk deep in every scene that you can piece together a classic in your mind if you’re feeling charitable; but if you aren’t, “Batman v Superman” will seem like a missed opportunity. At times it might make you long for Christopher Nolan’s delicate touch. Those last four words have never appeared side-by-side before. Life’s funny that way.

(I’m leaving the whole thing. “Ponderous, disorganized and glum” is my band name. Affleck being surprisingly good, and the slam on Christopher Nolan at the end are both great stuff.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9EkdAHqtvU/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9EkdAHqtvU/

(I mean … if you like evil Superman and like … apocalypse Batman this looks cool. If you don’t this looks ultra lame. And spoiler alert. I do not like this. Not one bit.)

Directors – Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Watchmen; Man of Steel; Army of the Dead; Dawn of the Dead; Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole; Future BMT: Justice League; BMT: Sucker Punch; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: He (allegedly) got an army of bots (intentionally or unwittingly, I honestly just don’t care which it was) to convince HBO to give him a bunch of money to produce the 4 hour long version of Justice League which still wasn’t very good. Army of the Dead was a modest streaming success by all accounts, so his career is by no means over because of his disastrous DCEU run.)

Writers – Chris Terrio – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Argo; Future BMT: Justice League; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: )

David S. Goyer – ( Known For: The Dark Knight; The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Dark City; Man of Steel; Hellraiser; Terminator: Dark Fate; Blade; Blade II; Kickboxer 2: The Road Back; Zig Zag; Future BMT: Blade: Trinity; The Unborn; The Crow: City of Angels; Death Warrant; The Puppet Masters; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Jumper; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: His career is kind of nuts. He legit started out making cheapo films like Arcade. And now he’s just considered to be an ominous sign that your comic book movie might be garbage. He writes like … everything, so it isn’t totally accurate though.)

Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster, and William Moulton Marston – ( Known For: The Batman; The Dark Knight; Joker; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Batman; Batman Returns; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Batman; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman Ninja; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Batman; Scooby-Doo & Batman: The Brave and the Bold; Batman and Robin; Future BMT: Justice League; Batman: The Killing Joke; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Batman Forever; Batman & Robin; Catwoman; Notes: I’m putting all these guys together and the credits are a bit jumbled. They are the comic book writers for the various characters that appear in Justice League. If I didn’t know that this is all decided by a screenwriting tribunal I would say that crediting all of these people was a stunt to be like “look at all the shit we have in this film!!” In reality, presumably, the cast is such an equal ensemble of characters that indeed, five different comic book writers had to be credited, even though this is a Goyer film through and through.)

Actors – Ben Affleck – ( Known For: Air; Good Will Hunting; Dazed and Confused; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Gone Girl; Triple Frontier; The Last Duel; The Town; Shakespeare in Love; Clerks III; Argo; Deep Water; School Ties; Jersey Girl; Dogma; The Accountant; He’s Just Not That Into You; Daredevil; Field of Dreams; The Tender Bar; Future BMT: Justice League; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Live by Night; Smokin’ Aces; Surviving Christmas; 200 Cigarettes; BMT: Suicide Squad; Armageddon; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Pearl Harbor; Gigli; Paycheck; Phantoms; Reindeer Games; Runner Runner; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor in 2004 for Daredevil, Gigli, and Paycheck; Winner for Worst Screen Combo for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Winner for Worst Screen Couple for Gigli in 2004; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; in 2005 for Jersey Girl, and Surviving Christmas; and in 2017 for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for The Last Duel in 2022; Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for Daredevil, Gigli, Jersey Girl, Paycheck, Pearl Harbor, and Surviving Christmas; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 1999 for Armageddon; in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; and in 2005 for Jersey Girl; Notes: Batffleck! He’s back baby! Air just came out, and I’m holding out hope he’ll get a directing nomination because, why not? They kept on giving Clint Eastwood nominations for making perfectly fine looking good movies, right?)

Henry Cavill – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Count of Monte Cristo; Mission: Impossible – Fallout; Stardust; Man of Steel; Enola Holmes; The Man from U.N.C.L.E.; Enola Holmes 2; Immortals; Night Hunter; Sand Castle; Whatever Works; Blood Creek; I Capture the Castle; Red Riding Hood; Future BMT: Black Adam; Justice League; Tristan + Isolde; The Cold Light of Day; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screen Combo for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Actor for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: There was a brief moment where Cavill announced he was coming back as Superman and people got jazzed, but then two days later DC was like “Wait, what’s this now?” and now he isn’t. It was weird.)

Amy Adams – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Catch Me If You Can; Arrival; Her; American Hustle; Man of Steel; Nocturnal Animals; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; Hillbilly Elegy; Disenchanted; The Fighter; Enchanted; The Master; Vice; The Woman in the Window; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; Julie & Julia; Doubt; Drop Dead Gorgeous; Big Eyes; Future BMT: Justice League; Leap Year; Dear Evan Hansen; The Wedding Date; Underdog; Serving Sara; The Ex; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress for The Woman in the Window in 2022; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for Dear Evan Hansen in 2022; Notes: Nominated for an insane 6 Oscars and never won. We’ll see. Her choices recently have been questionable, but she’s getting to an age where I think she will find that perfect Meryl Streep role from the 00s to finally snag a trophy. I just feel it.)

Budget/Gross – $250,000,000 / Domestic: $330,360,194 (Worldwide: $873,637,528)

(That isn’t quite as good. With a $250 million budget you are kind of looking for $1 billion as crazy as it sounds. For this I’m certain that is what they were aiming for. The MCU was smashing that easily on their big tent poles, and this was the moment where you knew the DCEU was kind of toast.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (126/437): Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice smothers a potentially powerful story — and some of America’s most iconic superheroes — in a grim whirlwind of effects-driven action.

(GRIM. That is what these films are. They are grim and all the characters are unfortunately sad and depressing. People talk about the MCU like “why can’t the DCEU be bright” but the visual palette isn’t even close to being the problem. The issue is that in the MCU at least the people seem like pleasant people you’d want to hang out with sometimes. All these people are so dour all the time.)

Reviewer Highlight: When was it decided superhero movies shouldn’t be any fun? – Leonard Maltin

Poster – Sklog v Sklog: Dawn of Crushin’ It

(No bueno. D)

Tagline(s) – Who will win? (F)

(Guys… we all know they aren’t actually fighting. They are “fighting.” That is fighting until it’s time not to fight and then they fight… other people.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Best Options (Killer-Elite): 43.0 Young Einstein (1988), 35.1 The Fan (1996)

(This tags along as a bonus film with Suicide Squad, although I’m sure sometime in the late 2010s it played on the same date as Citizen Kane. Seems impossible that it didn’t/)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ben Affleck is No. 1 billed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and No. 1 billed in Pearl Harbor, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – In an interview on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (2009), Ben Affleck said he was warned by Warner Bros. about the possible negative reaction to his casting, and was advised to remain off the Internet after the casting announcement. He also said, to assuage his concerns, the studio showed him negative comments that fans had initially made to previous superhero castings. Affleck said in spite of the studio warnings, he still checked out an online message board. The first comment he read was, “Affleck as Batman? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” After seeing that, he immediately went offline.

In this film, Batman wears a voice modulator in his suit to electronically alter his voice. After the casting of Ben Affleck in the role, this was an idea that had been suggested by his friend, director Kevin Smith, as he felt Affleck’s natural speaking voice was too high-pitched for Batman. He also felt it wouldn’t sound like Christian Bale’s voice in the Christopher Nolan Dark Knight trilogy.

Ben Affleck gained an additional twenty pounds of muscle and reached eight percent body fat for his role as Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman.

According to Ben Affleck, he was surprised when he was offered the Batman role, and was at first hesitant to commit to it. He was won over after a meeting with Zack Snyder, who pitched Affleck his vision of Batman, and showed him concept art for the film.

The Waynes are seen walking out of a movie theater, a poster of The Mark of Zorro (1940) is seen on the theater wall. Though not exclusive to all origin stories, most canon Batman origin stories since 1986 have the Waynes leaving a screening of the film. This trend was originally set in reference to the fact that Batman was largely based on the character of Zorro.

A “Batman and Superman” film was originally pitched in August 2001 by Andrew Kevin Walker, with Wolfgang Petersen to direct, and Akiva Goldsman to script. Goldsman’s script had Bruce Wayne’s fiancée slain by the Joker, which sends him on a revenge rampage and brings him into conflict with Superman, who tries to stop him. The film was shelved, but in Goldsman’s I Am Legend (2007), a teaser poster for the film (the Superman shield inside a bat) was seen in the opening scene. It was rumored at the time, that George Clooney would be reprising his Batman role from Batman & Robin (1997), and John Travolta would be playing Superman.

Ben Affleck stated in an interview that he had asked if he could have the batsuit when filming was complete. The producers said yes, but that he would have to pay $100,000 in order to keep it. Affleck quickly changed his mind, and asked if he could just take a picture with it instead.

The armor that Ben Affleck wears is based on Batman’s armor in the comic book “The Dark Knight Returns,” written by Frank Miller, and published in 1986. His regular costume is entirely different than the graphic novel. In the novel the suit was made of traditional blue and gray fabric, and with a bullet-proof plate behind the traditional yellow oval bat logo.

When discussing the film, Henry Cavill said that it would address a major issue that fans and critics had with Man of Steel (2013), involving the huge amount of collateral damage caused in the film’s climax during Superman’s battle with General Zod in Metropolis. Cavill said that future battle scenes in movies featuring Superman would involve him making sure to not harm civilians himself and to protect them from evil villains.

Superman only had 42 lines of dialogue throughout the entire movie.

In response to the negative and mixed reviews, Ben Affleck (Batman) said “We made this movie for the fans, not the critics.” His co-star Henry Cavill (Superman) said similar things in other interviews.

A rough cut of the film was shown for Warner Bros. executives. They were reportedly so impressed that they not only gave the film a standing ovation, but also began negotiating a deal with Ben Affleck to have him make three solo Batman movies, rather than the original plan to make only one.

When Wallace Vernon Keefe, has been gathering newspaper clips about Superman, a picture is seen where Superman is lifting a car, about to smash it against a rock. The picture is a photo version of the cover of Action Comics #1 from 1938, Superman’s debut.

There is a Riddler style question mark graffitied in one of the pillars of Wayne manor.

Michael Shannon never actually shot any scenes for this film and the production used a rubber dummy for Zod’s corpse, he stated, “In the movie there’s a large rubber version of my naked body that Lex Luthor is playing with. I was not, the only thing I did for that is I did some ADR of some lines that Zack [Snyder] thought he might use in the movie of my disembodied spirit talking to Lex Luthor.”

The day after he was cast as Batman, Ben Affleck began working out two hours a day and “hated every minute of it”, by his own admission.

Jimmy Fallon once asked Ben Affleck what his daughters thought of him being Batman and he said, “They don’t care. All they want to watch is Frozen (2013).”

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Jesse Eisenberg, 2017)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Combo (Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, 2017)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Chris Terrio, David S. Goyer, 2017)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Ben Affleck, 2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Henry Cavill, 2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Zack Snyder, 2017)

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer Preview

Jamie looks down at the GMT Rulez. Rule #7 – Lotsa Twists. He crosses that off so it reads “Just One Well-timed Twist.” He looks back up at the drama unfolding in front of him. “Why don’t you tell him who you really are?” Patrick says, swirling his glass of scotch. Cowgirl Jamie looks between them and shrugs her shoulders, turning to Jamie. “Jeannie DuBois, ace reporter for the Times of Delaware. You have to understand major public interest stories don’t just walk into Delaware every day.” Jamie turns away, the stench of betrayal heavy in the air. “But I really did like you, Jamie. I really did want to watch Here on Earth with you. To understand you.” He stops her with a glance. “I can handle you just loving me for my rock hard abs. I can even understand you liking me because I’m famous… but please, have some respect for me and don’t lie about Here on Earth. I should have known when you said you thought every moment of Here on Earth was sexy that something was off. Is it sexy that Sam’s knee cancer came back at the very moment she found love with Kelley?” Jeannie flinches. “I didn’t think so. So please, just go,” Jamie spits. Patrick is already at the door. He pulls it open to allow Jeannie to leave and is shocked to see people waiting on the porch. “My word, is that Kyle from SexyMannequinTimes.com?!” Jeannie says, her eyes growing large, just before they push her out the door and pull Kyle and Rachel in for hugs. Patrick and Jamie are delighted. “The four of us back together again! Fantastic!” they scream, but there is nothing fantastic about the look on Kyle’s face. That’s right! We are finally sinking our teeth into the original Fantastic Four films. And I mean original. That’s because we aren’t just doing Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer from the early 2000’s. They’re also bringing along their friend, the never released Fantastic Four adaptation from 1994. It was just a way to keep the rights to the film and it works… worked so well that we had to get it into BMT. Fantastic. Let’s go!

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) – BMeTric: 48.4; Notability: 109

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 10.4%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 36.7%; Higher BMeT: Epic Movie, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Norbit, I Know Who Killed Me, Bratz, Daddy Day Camp, Who’s Your Caddy?, Are We Done Yet?, Postal, Captivity, The Comebacks, Underdog, The Hills Have Eyes 2, Redline, Ghost Rider, The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Primeval, The Ten, License to Wed, and 6 more; Lower RT: Redline, Remember the Daze, Daddy Day Camp, Epic Movie, Kickin’ It Old Skool, Because I Said So, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, 88 Minutes, Good Luck Chuck, Full of It, Who’s Your Caddy?, Silk, License to Wed, The Number 23, The Reaping, Are We Done Yet?, Premonition, Mama’s Boy, Postal, Norbit, and 70 more; Notes: Wo, the number one notability film of 2007! A 100+ Notability is quite rare.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – Sequel finds the earth imperiled by a mysterious force that is wreaking havoc with weather systems (and global landmarks), and making the impending N.Y.C. nuptials of Reed (Gruffudd) and Sue (Alba) difficult to plan. The culprit may be the Silver Surfer for possibly the returning Victor Von Doom (McMahon). A special-effectsapalooza masquerading as a feature film. Look for the comic’s cocreator Stan Lee as a party guest.

(Surprisingly up on the film. Given the Movie Guide always had to be terse due to the sheer amount of information it contains, it is somewhat surprising how flippant he is with “and global landmarks.” … is that supposed to mean something significant? I can’t figure out why that turn of phrase is in the review at all.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wiu5eZ_7vSY/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wiu5eZ_7vSY/

(That does look way cooler I have to say. The first looks dumb and has dumb music, this at least has normal trailer music and seems like it has a good bad guy.)

Directors – Tim Story – ( Known For: Barbershop; Think Like a Man; The Blackening; Hurricane Season; The Firing Squad; Future BMT: Think Like a Man Too; BMT: Fantastic Four; Tom and Jerry; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Shaft; Taxi; Ride Along; Ride Along 2; Notes: Oh wow, I didn’t know he was doing The Blackening. Actually looks like a fun movie. It is a horror movie starring an all black cast. The poster is pretty funny.)

Writers – Don Payne – ( Known For: Thor; Thor: The Dark World; Future BMT: My Super Ex-Girlfriend; BMT: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: He used to write on The Simpsons (and won four Emmys as part of that crew). Kind of funny how he ended up falling into superhero stuff.)

Mark Frost – ( Known For: The Greatest Game Ever Played; Storyville; Future BMT: The Believers; BMT: Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: He did indeed write both of them, which is kind of surprising.)

John Turman – ( Known For: Hulk; BMT: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: I now know there was a Crow television series since he apparently wrote an episode of it. It looks awful. Very syndication-y like the Highlander series.)

Stan Lee – ( Known For: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania; Black Panther: Wakanda Forever; Ant-Man; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Avengers: Endgame; Thor: Love and Thunder; Spider-Man: No Way Home; Black Panther; Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; The Avengers; Iron Man; Spider-Man; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Thor: Ragnarok; Spider-Man: Homecoming; Thor; Iron Man Three; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Spider-Man: Far from Home; BMT: Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: Even after his death he was doing cameos in the Marvel films as they knew he wasn’t going to be able to continue due to his health. In the first he’s a mailman, in the second he plays himself.)

Jack Kirby – ( Known For: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania; Black Panther: Wakanda Forever; Ant-Man; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Avengers: Endgame; Black Panther; Eternals; Avengers: Infinity War; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Captain Marvel; The Avengers; Iron Man; Captain America: Civil War; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Thor: Ragnarok; Thor; Iron Man Three; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; The Incredible Hulk; Future BMT: Justice League; BMT: Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: He basically invented the Avengers including Black Panther, Captain America, and Thor.)

Actors – Ioan Gruffudd – ( Known For: Titanic; San Andreas; Black Hawk Down; Horrible Bosses; Ava; The Secret of Moonacre; The Professor and the Madman; W.; Playing It Cool; Wilde; Amazing Grace; The Gathering; Keep Watching; Fireflies in the Garden; Buttons, A New Musical Film; The Adventurer: The Curse of the Midas Box; This Girl’s Life; Forever; Stories USA; Shooters; Future BMT: King Arthur; 102 Dalmatians; BMT: Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Sanctum; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2008 for 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Awake, and Good Luck Chuck; Notes: Appeared in the music video for Uptown Girl by the Irish boy band Westlife.)

Jessica Alba – ( Known For: Sin City; Never Been Kissed; Knocked Up; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Machete; Barely Lethal; The Killer Inside Me; The Sleeping Dictionary; Stretch; Some Kind of Beautiful; Meet Bill; Killers Anonymous; El Camino Christmas; The Ten; A.C.O.D.; The Veil; Dear Eleanor; P.U.N.K.S.; Paranoid; An Invisible Sign; Future BMT: Into the Blue; Awake; Entourage; Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World; Machete Kills; Idle Hands; Camp Nowhere; Honey; The Eye; Little Fockers; BMT: Valentine’s Day; Fantastic Four; Good Luck Chuck; Mechanic: Resurrection; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; The Love Guru; Escape from Planet Earth; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actress in 2011 for Little Fockers, Machete, The Killer Inside Me, and Valentine’s Day; Nominee for Worst Actress in 2006 for Fantastic Four, and Into the Blue; in 2008 for 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Awake, and Good Luck Chuck; and in 2009 for The Eye, and The Love Guru; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 2008 for 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Awake, and Good Luck Chuck; Notes: Met her future husband Cash Warren on the set of Fantastic Four, he was Tim Story’s assitant.)

Chris Evans – ( Known For: Ant-Man; Avengers: Endgame; Knives Out; The Gray Man; Don’t Look Up; Avengers: Infinity War; Scott Pilgrim vs. the World; Captain Marvel; Free Guy; Captain America: The First Avenger; The Avengers; Captain America: Civil War; Spider-Man: Homecoming; Not Another Teen Movie; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Snowpiercer; Lightyear; Thor: The Dark World; Gifted; Future BMT: The Nanny Diaries; Street Kings; Push; What’s Your Number?; The Perfect Score; TMNT; BMT: Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Notes: Often appears with actors like Ben Affleck and John Krasinski when they need a gaggle of people to do bad Boston accents. Especially in things like SNL digital shorts.)

Budget/Gross – $130,000,000 / Domestic: $131,921,738 (Worldwide: $301,913,131)

(See, still not bad. I imagine not pulling in any more money despite spending more was the death knell for the series though. And Chris Evans apparently accepted the Captain America role while they were discussing the possibility of a third movie. I can’t imagine they would do a third without him, he was the best part of the first two by far.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 37% (64/172): While an improvement on its predecessor, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is nevertheless a juvenile, simplistic picture that has little benefit beyond its special effects.

(At least it is an improvement. For some reason I always had the impression that the second one was really bad and killed the series. Seems like it is not the case.)

Reviewer Highlight: The performances are plywooden, the cornball visual gags are groanworthy, and Tim Story still can’t direct his way out a sack with a map. – David Fear, Time Out

Poster – Sklogtastic Four: Rise of the Shiny Slider

(Guys. What are we doing here? This is a horrible poster. The first one was boring. This one is also boring but also insane. D- and only because the Silver Surfer is dope.)

Tagline(s) – Rise (What the F)

(Noooooo. Are you trying to kill me? What the fuck, guys? Just the one word… Rise? Dumb. That’s dumb. Have your brains broke?)

Keyword(s) – good

Top 10: Good Will Hunting (1997), The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), The Great Gatsby (2013), Hot Fuzz (2007), Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016), The Wizard of Oz (1939), Man on Fire (2004), Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)

Future BMT: 67.1 Phat Girlz (2006), 63.2 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 60.7 Like a Boss (2020), 51.8 Playing with Fire (2019), 51.6 The Boss (2016), 51.1 Johnny Be Good (1988), 50.7 The Hot Chick (2002), 47.2 Barney’s Great Adventure (1998), 45.1 Fly Me to the Moon 3D (2007), 40.4 No Good Deed (2014), 39.5 Good Burger (1997), 37.2 The Great Wall (2016), 37.1 Stroker Ace (1983), 36.3 Milk Money (1994), 34.7 Mad Money (2008), 34.3 Mo’ Money (1992), 32.1 Good Deeds (2012), 31.3 The Nude Bomb (1980), 28.9 A Good Man in Africa (1994), 25.8 Two for the Money (2005)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Cool as Ice (1991), Cool World (1992), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Hot Pursuit (2015), The Fly II (1989), One for the Money (2012), Fire Down Below (1997), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Fire Birds (1990), Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), Good Luck Chuck (2007), Be Cool (2005), Fantastic Four (2005), Chill Factor (1999), Money Train (1995), Hot to Trot (1988), The Golden Child (1986), Righteous Kill (2008), Sweet Home Alabama (2002), The Wizard (1989), Fresh Horses (1988), Killer Elite (2011), Hunter Killer (2018)

Best Options (superhero): 48.4 Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), 44.9 Fantastic Four (2005)

(Two more superhero films in the books. I looked it up at one point. I’m not terribly far off from having seen every single superhero film since 1980. It is a little demented.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 10) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jessica Alba is No. 2 billed in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and No. 2 billed in Mechanic: Resurrection, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 10. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Jessica Alba wore a blonde wig because her hair had suffered from all the bleaching in Fantastic Four (2005).

The Silver Surfer was created by Doug Jones wearing a prosthetic suit developed by Spectral Motion, and a new VFX program from Weta Digital which augmented the Surfer’s reflective surface.

Jessica Alba, upon receiving criticism about her performance in this film, said that the director, Tim Story, told her “It looks too real. It looks too painful. Can you be prettier when you cry? Cry pretty, Jessica… Don’t do that thing with your face. Just make it flat. We can CGI the tears in.”

The forest scenes were shot in the same forest as was used in the first three “X-Men” movies.

The studio hated Doctor Doom’s make-up so he remains hidden under a cowl in most of his early scenes.

Originally, Laurence Fishburne was keen to provide the voice for Galactus. He happily switched to the role of the Silver Surfer when it was decided to make Galactus mute.

Plans for a third installment, as well as a Silver Surfer solo film, were discarded after this film flopped at the box office.

Was given a PG rating by the MPAA, the first Marvel film since Howard the Duck (1986) to earn this rating.

The Surfer speaks of “the one I love.” This refers to Shalla-Bal, who (in the comics) was Norrin Radd’s girlfriend before he became the Silver Surfer.

Andre Braugher turned down a supporting role in ER (1994) to take a part in this film.

For this outing, some slight revisions were made to the make-up of The Thing, giving him a larger brow and broader shoulders. This brought the design more in line with the then-recent comic book revision.

Susan worries about having a son with all the public scrutiny. In the comics, Reed and Susan Storm have a son named Franklin Benjamin Richards, who has telepathic powers.

Susan Storm’s wedding dress is a custom made design by the German luxury fashion brand Escada.

In 1980, producer Lee Kramer wanted to make a Silver Surfer rock opera starring his then-girlfriend Dame Olivia Newton-John with music by Sir Paul McCartney.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Jessica Alba, 2008)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Jessica Alba, Hayden Christensen, Dane Cook, Ioan Gruffudd, 2008)

Pearl Harbor Preview

A few hours later Patrick and Kyle bid farewell to the maidens. At first Patrick thought he would have to put on his glasses and explain the way of the world to them. Take on that mentor role he’s sure Stallone has always craved. But soon the tables were turned. They had not only cured Patrick’s crippling writer’s block, but also bought and sold Stallone’s extensive wine collection at an immense profit. They taught Kyle how to fly a kite, lambada, and steal cable. By the time they were finished they really didn’t feel like having steamy sex with a random movie star. “You’re actually kinda… lame,” one of them admits, “but in a nice way.” Patrick smiles. It’s funny how you can learn something new, even when it’s all already happened, Patrick thinks. Suddenly his wheels are turning. History… history repeats itself. “Kid,” he says to Kyle, “buckle up, cause we’re going historical.”

Kyle stands in front of his lecture hall, chalk covering his hands. He breathes heavily as he finishes the diagram. Turning back to Jamie he says in a slow, deliberate voice, “OK, so let’s imagine you are a bad guy, right?” Jamie nods. “And not one with big muscles, sweet dance moves, or… uh,” he squints closer at the list he’s written detailing every way Jamie might obtain the Obsidian Dongle, “‘Jorts for days’, whatever that is. Right?” Jamie nods again, seems pretty straightforward. “So,” Kyle says dramatically, “how might you get the Dongle?” A light suddenly goes off in Jamie’s head, “I would pretend I’m not a bad guy at all.” Kyle gets excited and encourages him to keep going. “And then I would… I would…” he dramatically pauses, “nope, no… it slipped away.” Kyle snaps his chalk in half.

That’s right! We are going historical and watching a little Pearl Harbor. I have somehow seen this film several times in my life, which is really making me reflect on a lot of choices I’ve made. But we’ve never watched it for BMT so… *sigh* here we go again. As for the fried, we’re pairing it like a fine wine with Slipstream starring none other than Mark Hamill. He looks real nuts on the poster and that’s enough for us. Let’s go!

Pearl Harbor (2001) – BMeTric: 27.9; Notability: 193

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 24.0%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 22.6%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Valentine, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner, Bones, Summer Catch, The Order, Say It Isn’t So, The Wash, and 40 more; Lower RT: Nobody’s Baby, Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Head Over Heels, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, and 33 more; Notes: Jesus Christo. Nearly 200 notability. Watch the film though, there are legit famous people who appear out of nowhere to speak one line and you’re like “is that Mr. Darcy from Married with Children?!”

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Pearl Harbor” is a two-hour movie squeezed into three hours, about how on Dec. 7, 1941, the Japanese staged a surprise attack on an American love triangle. Its centerpiece is 40 minutes of redundant special effects, surrounded by a love story of stunning banality. The film has been directed without grace, vision, or originality, and although you may walk out quoting lines of dialog, it will not be because you admire them.

(Boom, roasted! But that is a complaint I feel like is warranted with a lot of, frankly, boring bad movies. That they had an hour long movie that was good, and then they needed to stretch it to feature length and it got boring or the third act fell apart. The difference here is they probably had a perfectly good (if intense) 2 hour film that is somewhat ruined by making it a 3 hour epic.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf3KAiimeUg/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf3KAiimeUg/

(You could be forgiven for not realizing Harnett and Beckinsale are also in the military. Also, Voight’s bizarre FDR performance being so heavily featured in this trailing is a bit insane as well. Still … kind of gets you amped for it.)

Directors – Michael Bay – ( Known For: Ambulance; Transformers; 6 Underground; The Rock; 13 Hours; Bad Boys; Pain & Gain; Future BMT: The Island; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; Transformers: Dark of the Moon; Bad Boys II; BMT: Armageddon; Transformers: The Last Knight; Pearl Harbor; Transformers: Age of Extinction; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director in 2010 for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; and in 2015 for Transformers: Age of Extinction; and Nominee for Worst Director in 1999 for Armageddon; in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; in 2012 for Transformers: Dark of the Moon; and in 2018 for Transformers: The Last Knight; Notes: Bay has kind of retired? It is hard to tell, he’s released two films in five years, both to streaming. He still works, but after the most recent iteration on Transformers it feels a bit like he’s lost the magic. He’s a huge producer though.)

Writers – Randall Wallace – ( Known For: Braveheart; We Were Soldiers; Heaven Is for Real; Future BMT: The Man in the Iron Mask; BMT: Pearl Harbor; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Pearl Harbor in 2002; Notes: Military writer. I would have expected him to have been in the military, but nope. Majored in religion at Duke. Has written seven books as well (although some are novelizations of his films). Nominated for an Oscar for Pearl Harbor.)

Actors – Ben Affleck – ( Known For: Gone Girl; Clerks III; Deep Water; Good Will Hunting; The Last Duel; Dazed and Confused; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Accountant; The Town; Argo; Dogma; He’s Just Not That Into You; Daredevil; Triple Frontier; The Tender Bar; Shakespeare in Love; The Sum of All Fears; Field of Dreams; State of Play; School Ties; Future BMT: Suicide Squad; Justice League; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Smokin’ Aces; Live by Night; 200 Cigarettes; Surviving Christmas; BMT: Armageddon; Pearl Harbor; Paycheck; Gigli; Reindeer Games; Runner Runner; Phantoms; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor in 2004 for Daredevil, Gigli, and Paycheck; Winner for Worst Screen Combo for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Winner for Worst Screen Couple for Gigli in 2004; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; in 2005 for Jersey Girl, and Surviving Christmas; and in 2017 for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for The Last Duel in 2022; Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for Daredevil, Gigli, Jersey Girl, Paycheck, Pearl Harbor, and Surviving Christmas; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 1999 for Armageddon; in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; and in 2005 for Jersey Girl; Notes: Won two Oscars, for writing Good Will Hunting, and for producing Argo. Famously dated J-Lo (as Bennifer), and more recently they got back together and married in July.)

Kate Beckinsale – ( Known For: The Aviator; Jolt; Serendipity; Much Ado About Nothing; Laurel Canyon; Vacancy; Love & Friendship; The Only Living Boy in New York; Contraband; Stonehearst Asylum; Absolutely Anything; The Last Days of Disco; Nothing But the Truth; Everybody’s Fine; Haunted; Royal Deceit; Farming; The Trials of Cate McCall; The Face of an Angel; Snow Angels; Future BMT: Van Helsing; Underworld; Click; Total Recall; Underworld: Blood Wars; Underworld: Evolution; Underworld: Rise of the Lycans; Underworld: Awakening; Brokedown Palace; The Disappointments Room; BMT: Pearl Harbor; Tiptoes; Whiteout; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for Pearl Harbor in 2002; Notes: British. Went to New College, Oxford majoring in French and Russian Literature before dropping out to pursue acting. Is the lead in the entire Underworld series, which we’ve never done for BMT somehow.)

Josh Hartnett – ( Known For: Wrath of Man; Operation Fortune: Ruse de guerre; Sin City; Black Hawk Down; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; The Faculty; The Virgin Suicides; 30 Days of Night; Lucky Number Slevin; Wild Horses; The Ottoman Lieutenant; Ida Red; Most Wanted; O; Blow Dry; 6 Below: Miracle on the Mountain; Resurrecting the Champ; Bunraku; Valley of the Gods; She’s Missing; Future BMT: 40 Days and 40 Nights; The Black Dahlia; BMT: Pearl Harbor; Wicker Park; Hollywood Homicide; Here on Earth; Town & Country; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for Pearl Harbor in 2002; Notes: Multiple BMT Love Triangle Award Winner (for Here on Earth and now Pearl Harbor). In 2002 he moved back to Minnesota and semi-retired from acting, but has gone back to acting a bit in recent years.)

Budget/Gross – $140,000,000 / Domestic: $198,542,554 (Worldwide: $449,220,945)

(I mean, that’s just fine indeed. I guess they were maybe looking for Armageddon money, so they missed by a little ($100 million worldwide difference), but surely Pearl Harbor would have expected to be less well received internationally right?)

Rotten Tomatoes – 24% (46/194): Pearl Harbor tries to be the Titanic of war movies, but it’s just a tedious romance filled with laughably bad dialogue. The 40 minute action sequence is spectacular though.

(Yeah, this is pretty much right. The bits where you see actual Pearl Harbor action are amazing. The bit where you see intense Love Triangle action, not so much.)

Reviewer Highlight: The bombs explode brilliantly but the story is a bust in “Pearl Harbor.” – Todd McCarthy, Variety

Poster – Love Triangle: The Movie

(This seems very appropriate for a Michael Bay film about Pearl Harbor. We gonna get some planes and smoke and not know what the hell is happening probably. Hate the font and it just looks dark and dingy. C-.)

Tagline(s) – It takes a moment to change history. It takes love to change lives. (B-)

(I don’t see any tagline on the poster, but I’m sure this was used somewhere. It was the better of the two listed. Still somewhat laughable of a tagline for Pearl Harbor. Obviously this is a love story, but I feel like Pearl Harbor still overshadowed it a bit. Not like everyone’s looking around at the end being like “sure that was a big event, but gosh darn it those kids are gonna make it and that’s what’s really important.” No, the event was also quite important.)

Keyword(s) – past

Top 10: The Shawshank Redemption (1994), Forrest Gump (1994), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Django Unchained (2012), Gladiator (2000), Inglourious Basterds (2009), Saving Private Ryan (1998), Schindler’s List (1993), The Prestige (2006), Shutter Island (2010)

Future BMT: 88.7 BloodRayne (2005), 73.0 The Unborn (2009), 70.4 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.2 Black Christmas (2006), 69.9 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.9 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 64.6 The Final Destination (2009), 62.1 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 59.8 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 56.8 Robin Hood (2018), 55.1 Annabelle (2014), 54.9 The Quiet Ones (2014), 54.5 Snow Dogs (2002), 53.8 Spy Hard (1996), 53.1 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.4 2016: Obama’s America (2012), 52.1 Radhe Shyam (2022), 51.6 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 50.2 The Last Legion (2007), 50.1 Halloween Kills (2021) … (and many more)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), The Fog (2005), Movie 43 (2013), Super Mario Bros. (1993), Glitter (2001), Holmes & Watson (2018), The Master of Disguise (2002), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Grease 2 (1982), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Jonah Hex (2010), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Wild Wild West (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Black Knight (2001), Chernobyl Diaries (2012), A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), The Musketeer (2001), An American Haunting (2005), Apollo 18 (2011), Ishtar (1987), The Curse of La Llorona (2019), The Nun (2018), Pinocchio (2002), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Bolero (1984), Bones (2001), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991), House of Wax (2005), Season of the Witch (2011), The Tuxedo (2002), Mannequin: On the Move (1991), Pompeii (2014), Ghost Ship (2002), Assassin’s Creed (2016), The Scarlet Letter (1995), Dolittle (2020), Timeline (2003), The Quest (1996), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), Wagons East (1994), The Three Musketeers (2011), Diana (2013), Ben-Hur (2016), Rambo III (1988), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006), The Blue Lagoon (1980), Cutthroat Island (1995), Texas Rangers (2001), Sucker Punch (2011), Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001), Jobs (2013), Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Original Sin (2001), Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013), American Outlaws (2001), Universal Soldier (1992), Winter’s Tale (2014), Harlem Nights (1989), I Dreamed of Africa (2000), Pearl Harbor (2001), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), The Identical (2014), The Chamber (1996), The Marrying Man (1991), Wild Bill (1995), In Love and War (1996), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Gods and Generals (2003), The Lone Ranger (2013), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017), Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), Halloween II (1981), September Dawn (2007), Young Guns II (1990), Oscar (1991), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Evening (2007), The 13th Warrior (1999), White Comanche (1968), Gangster Squad (2013), Now and Then (1995), A Dog’s Purpose (2017)

Best Options (senseless): 46.4 The Black Dahlia (2006), 42.4 Insidious: The Last Key (2018), 27.9 Pearl Harbor (2001), 27.7 Knowing (2009), 26.3 If Looks Could Kill (1991), 23.8 Welcome to Marwen (2018), 19.3 National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007), 2.0 The Five Heartbeats (1991)

(Basically you want to do Harnett is what it is saying. And we finally had to do Pearl Harbor … I mean, officially, I’ve seen this film three times now. Ten hours of my life has been spent watching Pearl Harbor. May god have mercy on my soul.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 6) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Josh Hartnett is No. 3 billed in Pearl Harbor and No. 3 billed in Here on Earth, => (3 + 3) = 6. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – When shooting the scene where Rafe (Ben Affleck) and Danny (Josh Hartnett) manage to get off the ground during the attack, and are chased by three Japanese Zeroes, one of the real planes clipped a palm tree and crashed. The pilot was dazed, and suffered only a broken finger.

Jon Voight wore duplicates of the steel leg-braces that President Franklin D. Roosevelt had to wear. As a result, Voight suffered from bruising and chafing on his legs for weeks after finishing his work for the film.

The character portrayed by Cuba Gooding Jr., Doris “Dorie” Miller, was the first African-American to be awarded the Navy Cross. He was later assigned to the escort carrier Liscome Bay. He was reported missing in action in November 1943, when it was torpedoed during the Battle of Makin Island.

Ben Affleck’s grandfather declined to see the film, explaining that he wasn’t interested in reliving the war in any way, shape, or form.

The scene that shows the Japanese planes attacking the hospital caused a great uproar, both in Japan and among Pearl Harbor veterans, because it never happened. The Japanese pilots were under strict orders not to attack civilian targets. Survivors note that even when the Japanese had a straight line of attack, they never attacked the hospital itself. Director Michael Bay said he added the scene to make the attack seem more barbaric.

To simulate the U.S.S. Oklahoma capsizing, the crew constructed the world’s largest-ever gimbal. It took special effects supervisor John Frazier four months to design, and four more months for he and production designer Nigel Phelps to build. It was made of pure steel and weighed 700,000 pounds. It could rise 25 degrees into the air, and do a 180 degree barrel turn. In the film, as the Oklahoma rolls over, the back 450 feet is CGI, but the front portion is the real gimbal, with over 150 real stuntmen on it.

The shots of the series of six explosions in Battleship Row were filmed by 14 cameras, and were actually staged on real Navy ships. While on a location scout above Pearl Harbor, Michael Bay looked down and saw a line of ships doing nothing. He learned that the ships were part of the inactive fleet, and so he decided to use them for the explosions. The charges were put on the real ships on plywood for protection, with 700 sticks of dynamite, 2,000 feet of cord, and 4,000 gallons of gasoline used. The six 600-foot ship explosions took a month and a half to rig (with 500 individual bombs on each boat). During the scene, over 100 extras were in the harbor, and six real planes had to fly past the ships. In total, the shots took seven months of coordination among every department on the film, the state of Hawaii, the Environmental Protection Agency, and the U.S. Navy to ensure everything went off without a hitch. In the end, the explosions themselves lasted only seven seconds, and comprised only 12 seconds of on-screen time.

For the scenes of the Japanese planes taking off, an American carrier was used. According to Michael Bay, this greatly offended some of the Pearl Harbor survivors, who felt it dishonored the dead. Bay, however, pointed out to them that they destroyed all of the Japanese carriers later in the war, so an American carrier had to be used. He says that when he pointed this out, they agreed to the use of the American carrier.

Earned a place in the “Guinness Book of World Records” for the movie with the most explosives used.

The film has four pure CGI shots: the bomb falling toward the U.S.S. Arizona, two shots of the Arizona exploding as it jumps up in the water, and the two Japanese Mitsubishi A6M Zeroes’ pitching down towards Battleship Row.

In the camera shots during the Doolittle Raid, where it appears the actors are actually flying the planes, they actually are. No CG was used. Alec Baldwin, Josh Hartnett, and Ben Affleck were all given basic flight training, so they could handle the planes. To get the various shots of the actors in the pilot’s seat, the “real” pilot would simply pilot the plane to the desired destination and then the actor would take over while the camera crew moved alongside to get the shot. After this the real pilot would take over.

The total amount of money spent on production and promotion roughly equaled the amount of damage caused in the actual attack.

Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay agreed to give up $4 million in salary, in return for a cut of the box-office, to get the budget down. The film’s stars also took a drop in salaries, in return for a cut of the box-office, for the same reason.

According to Michael Fassbender, this was the first film he ever auditioned for. He went for one of the leads.

The film’s premiere was held at Pearl Harbor, aboard the carrier U.S.S. John Stennis. Bleachers were set up on the flight deck, and the hangar bay was converted into a 1940s-style nightclub for the after party.

As of 2017, it’s the only film directed by Michael Bay to ever win an Oscar (for Best Sound Editing).

The production budget, $140 million, was, at the time, the largest ever given to a movie before filming started.

Awards – Winner for the Oscar for Best Sound Editing (Christopher Boyes, George Watters II, 2002)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Diane Warren, 2002)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Sound (Peter J. Devlin, Greg P. Russell, Kevin O’Connell, 2002)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Effects, Visual Effects (Eric Brevig, John Frazier, Edward Hirsh, Ben Snow, 2002)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor of the Decade (Ben Affleck, 2010)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2002)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Ben Affleck, 2002)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, Josh Hartnett, 2002)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel (2002)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Michael Bay, 2002)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Randall Wallace, 2002)

Men in Black II Preview

Jamie, Patrick, and LePumice lounge poolside in Vegas. Just one stop on the tour couldn’t do any harm. Besides, LePumice brought his time machine along disguised as a vintage 2003 PT Cruiser, so they can jet at a moment’s notice back to the present. “Suns out, sipping drinks with the bros, our PT Cruiser is looking sweet (duh). Cheers!” Jamie says, luxuriating. Nothing could spoil this day, for sure. Suddenly, Mikey Myers (of Mikey Mike and the Mikey Mikes fame) comes hurrying over. “Vegas, we have a problem,” he says and they all laugh because that’s his catchphrase. But this time he’s serious. “I… uh… just came from the gift shop. Not to freak anyone out, but… uh… I was there.” They laugh again. Silly Mikey, of course he was there because he just said… Patrick shoots up looking startled. “Shit, shit,” Jamie says, picking up the vibe. Future Mikey Myers has found them and is ready to settle the score. Mikey Myers starts to leave with them, but Jamie and Patrick stop him. With hands on his shoulders they tell him how proud they are. By the end of the beautiful speech tears are streaming down all their faces. “We obviously want you to help us, Mikey, but you have a gift.” They turn away ashamed, knowing deep down that selfishly they don’t want Mikey to come because this tour is the key to their Bad Movie Twins empire. LePumice taps his watch, indicating that it’s time to get their PT Cruise on, but as they head away from the pool they stop short at the sight of Future Mikey, dressed in the standard issue black suit of the time cops. They turn back and are aghast at the sight of another Future Mikey. “What thuuuuu…” Jamie says dumbly. That’s right! We’re going classic with Men in Black II. Hard to remember that this film was a critical failure at the time, but it did qualify. Good enough for us and our neverending Chain Reaction which takes us from Walking Tall to Men in Black II through Johnny Knoxville. Let’s go!

Men in Black II (2002) – BMeTric: 31.1; Notability: 129

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 22.4%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 35.3%; Higher BMeT: Crossroads, Rollerball, Halloween: Resurrection, The Master of Disguise, Feardotcom, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Boat Trip, Half Past Dead, The Sweetest Thing, Derailed, Scooby-Doo, Queen of the Damned, Swimfan, Maid in Manhattan, They, Full Frontal, The Truth About Charlie, Snow Dogs, The Tuxedo, and 36 more; Lower RT: Killing Me Softly, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Derailed, Hansel & Gretel, State Property, Ritual, Try Seventeen, Hard Cash, The Master of Disguise, Deuces Wild, Feardotcom, Half Past Dead, Rollerball, Darkness, Serving Sara, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, New Best Friend, Boat Trip, The New Guy, Dragonfly, and 64 more; Notes: Notability off the damn chart! See this is what I’m talking about. A 100+ Notability BMT qualifier? They literally barely exist!

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Some sequels continue a story. Others repeat it. ”Men in Black II” creates a new threat for the MIB, but recycles the same premise, which is that mankind can defeat an alien invasion by assigning agents in Ray-Bans to shoot them into goo. This is a movie that fans of the original might enjoy in a diluted sort of way, but there is no need for it–except, of course, to take another haul at the box office, where the 1997 movie grossed nearly $600 million.

(Yeah, I do kind of remember the film was just kind of the same except with J and K just swapped since K lost his memory at the end of the first film. So that makes a lot of sense.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4NJHqoojOU/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4NJHqoojOU/

(Yeah … odd trailer. You don’t see any of the actual bad guys from the movie. One good thing is they don’t spoil the big joke of the movie, so that’s nice. Still, how many aliens did you see in that trailer? Just the worms basically. Weird choice.)

Directors – Barry Sonnenfeld – ( Known For: Men in Black; Men in Black 3; The Addams Family; Get Shorty; Addams Family Values; Big Trouble; Future BMT: RV; For Love or Money; BMT: Wild Wild West; Men in Black II; Nine Lives; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Director for Wild Wild West in 2000; Notes: Won an Emmy for Pushing Daisies. He is directing television, specifically episodes of Schmigadoon! for which he is also a producer.)

Writers – Lowell Cunningham – ( Known For: Men in Black; Men in Black 3; Future BMT: Men in Black: International; BMT: Men in Black II; Notes: Writer of the original comics which was published by Aircel Comics (which was later bought out by Malibu Comics which in turn was also bought out by Marvel Comics). There were, amazingly, only six issues ever published.)

Robert Gordon – ( Known For: Galaxy Quest; A Series of Unfortunate Events; Addicted to Love; Future BMT: Wonder Park; BMT: Men in Black II; Notes: He is tapped to write the upcoming Galaxy Quest TV movie … sequel? Remake? Hard to tell.)

Barry Fanaro – ( Known For: Kingpin; Future BMT: The Crew; BMT: I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Men in Black II; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry in 2008; Notes: Was the executive producer and writer on The Golden Girls for its first four seasons for which he won four Emmys. He has apparently written five movies since 2009 which have been options, none of which, evidently, have ultimately been produced.)

Actors – Tommy Lee Jones – ( Known For: No Country for Old Men; Captain America: The First Avenger; Men in Black; The Fugitive; Ad Astra; Jason Bourne; Lincoln; Men in Black 3; Natural Born Killers; JFK; Love Story; Small Soldiers; Under Siege; The Comeback Trail; Space Cowboys; Wander; In the Electric Mist; The Client; Volcano; The Homesman; Future BMT: U.S. Marshals; Criminal; Double Jeopardy; The Family; Blown Away; The Hunted; Man of the House; Rules of Engagement; Just Getting Started; Nate and Hayes; BMT: Batman Forever; Men in Black II; Mechanic: Resurrection; Fire Birds; Notes: Went to Harvard where he was roommates with Al Gore and was part of the undefeated 1968 football team.)

Will Smith – ( Known For: King Richard; Independence Day; Men in Black; Bad Boys for Life; I Am Legend; Enemy of the State; Aladdin; The Pursuit of Happyness; Ali; Bad Boys; Focus; Hancock; Men in Black 3; Bright; I, Robot; Hitch; Six Degrees of Separation; Concussion; Spies in Disguise; The Legend of Bagger Vance; Future BMT: Suicide Squad; Gemini Man; Shark Tale; Bad Boys II; Seven Pounds; Collateral Beauty; Made in America; BMT: Wild Wild West; After Earth; Men in Black II; Winter’s Tale; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for After Earth in 2014; Winner for Worst Screen Couple, and Worst Original Song for Wild Wild West in 2000; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Notes: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh … well, you know Will Smith, Oscar Winner for King Richard. He somewhat notably (I’m not sure you would have heard this) was suspended from the Academy for slapping Chris Rock on stage at the Oscars. Little known fact.)

Rip Torn – ( Known For: Men in Black; Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story; Hercules; Men in Black 3; Marie Antoinette; The Insider; Bee Movie; The Beastmaster; Wonder Boys; The Man Who Fell to Earth; The Legend of Awesomest Maximus; King of Kings; Airplane II: The Sequel; Coma; Defending Your Life; Sweet Bird of Youth; How to Make an American Quilt; A Face in the Crowd; Canadian Bacon; Extreme Prejudice; Future BMT: Zoom; Down Periscope; Summer Rental; Senseless; City Heat; BMT: Men in Black II; Yours, Mine & Ours; Freddy Got Fingered; RoboCop 3; Welcome to Mooseport; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Freddy Got Fingered in 2002; Notes: Died in 2019. Somewhat sadly/amusingly he was arrested for robbing a bank, but in reality he was drunk and, since his residence was in the same building, he broke in merely thinking it was where he lived.)

Budget/Gross – $140,000,000 / Domestic: $193,735,288 (Worldwide: $445,135,288)

(Yeah maybe not what you want domestically after the first made about $50 million more and overall the first made over $100 million more. Still a decent blockbuster though. I imagine TLJ was the big sticking point since they eventually wrote him out of the series.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 39% (76/197): Lacking the freshness of the first movie, MIB 2 recycles elements from its predecessor with mixed results.

(Yeah, there it is. Still a bit stunning at the drop from the prior installment. I just watched the original, it ain’t that good. And I imagine MIB II isn’t thaaaaaat much worse.)

Reviewer Highlight: After five years, the chemistry has curdled. – Peter Bradshaw, Guardian

Poster – The Notorious MIB

(I like the stark black and white. Funny they brought back the weird egg chairs from the first one for this poster. It is certainly a distinctive scene, but not notable and I don’t think they ever show up again. Good font. Good poster. A-.)

Tagline(s) – Back in Black. (C-)

(I can’t be too hard on it. It’s short and honestly that’s where my mind would go too. Hard to shake the similarity between the words Black and Back and so I would be stuck making something like this too. Still, just not very good.)

Keyword(s) – alien

Top 10: Dune (2021), Eternals (2021), Sonic the Hedgehog (2020), Don’t Look Up (2021), Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Ultimate Edition (2016), The Suicide Squad (2021), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021), Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021), Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Future BMT: 80.6 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 71.5 Supergirl (1984), 66.3 Max Steel (2016), 65.4 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 63.4 Meet Dave (2008), 61.1 Space Chimps (2008), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.9 Apollo 18 (2011), 55.8 The Stupids (1996), 54.5 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)

BMT: The 5th Wave (2016), X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Battleship (2012), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Pixels (2015), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), The Predator (2018), Species (1995), After Earth (2013), Men in Black II (2002), I Am Number Four (2011), Howard the Duck (1986), Jupiter Ascending (2015), Lost in Space (1998), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Battle Los Angeles (2011), Alien vs. Predator (2004), Masters of the Universe (1987), Predator 2 (1990), Mac and Me (1988), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008), Battlefield Earth (2000), Ghosts of Mars (2001), The Host (2013), Doom (2005), Dreamcatcher (2003), Skyline (2010), The Darkest Hour (2011), The Space Between Us (2017), Species II (1998), Alone in the Dark (2005), Virus (1999), Critters 2 (1988), The Astronaut’s Wife (1999), Escape from Planet Earth (2012), Wing Commander (1999), Meatballs Part II (1984)

Matches: Eternals (2021), The Fifth Element (1997), Venom (2018), Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016), Man of Steel (2013), The Avengers (2012), Starship Troopers (1997), Captain Marvel (2019), Aliens (1986), Arrival (2016), Annihilation (2018), The Tomorrow War (2021), Transformers (2007), Independence Day (1996), A Quiet Place Part II (2020), The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005), Edge of Tomorrow (2014), The 5th Wave (2016), Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014), Cosmic Sin (2021), Green Lantern (2011), Oblivion (2013), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), The Thing (1982), War of the Worlds (2005), Mars Attacks! (1996), They Live (1988), Ender’s Game (2013), Men in Black: International (2019), The Faculty (1998), Galaxy Quest (1999), Megamind (2010), Power Rangers (2017), Men in Black 3 (2012), Krull (1983), Pixels (2015), Star Trek: First Contact (1996), The Watch (2012), Alien 3 (1992), Paul (2011), Riddick (2013), Lilo & Stitch (2002), We Can Be Heroes (2020), 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016), Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005), Species (1995), Slither (2006), Men in Black II (2002), The Abyss (1989), Treasure Planet (2002), Alien: Resurrection (1997), I Am Number Four (2011), Predators (2010), Cocoon (1985), … (an many more)

(So many alien films. And I suppose amusingly since we did What Happens in Vegas last week that first movie in the Future BMT section (The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas) also technically takes place in Vegas! The alien is the Great Gazoo, obviously the thing you want to bring to the Flintstones movie franchise is the huge mistake they introduced in like season 7 right before they got canceled. That makes sense.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tommy Lee Jones is No. 2 billed in Men in Black II and No. 3 billed in Mechanic: Resurrection, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 11. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The original pug from Men in Black (1997) was used to play Frank again, but since the pug was now seven years old, they used makeup to hide the gray fur around its nose.

J’s line on the “driver airbag” (“Actually it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.”) was improvised by Will Smith. The producers liked it so much it even made the theatrical trailer.

Famke Janssen was originally cast as Serleena, and even completed some of the filming, but was forced to drop out of the project due to a death in her family. Lara Flynn Boyle was then cast in her place.

The extra head attached to Scrad is called a ‘symbiote,’ and was first developed in Men in Black: The Series (1997). It is the most obvious development of the animated series to be carried over into the movies.

Linda Fiorentino was originally intended to reprise her role as Agent L, before eventually being dropped from the script.

The children of the cast/crew make an appearance in the film: the little girl at the post office who wants to buy Rugrats (1991) stamps is Barry Sonnenfeld’s daughter Chloe Sonnenfeld.Tommy Lee Jones’s daughter appears in the film as the little girl in the apartment where J, K, and the worms acquire weaponry. and the two children who look up as the MiB car flies overhead are Will Smith’s kids.

Reputedly Jack Nicholson insisted on the casting of Lara Flynn Boyle. Sony were keen to get Nicholson for their Adam Sandler comedy “Anger Management”, and Flynn Boyle was Nicholson’s girlfriend at the time.

The beatboxing alien in the post office is played by the rapper Biz Markie, who also has a recurring role on the kid’s TV show Yo Gabba Gabba! also showing off his beatboxing talents

Barry Sonnenfeld took issue with the producers wanting to focus on the love story between Agent J and Laura: “I learned on Wild Wild West (1999) that audiences didn’t want to see Will Smith as the straight man. And until Tommy Lee Jones comes back into the movie, by definition, Will’s the straight man.”

The locker that holds the tiny aliens who worship K is numbered C18, the same number of the locker used in the film Get Shorty (1995) that contains the “dirty” money. Both films were directed by Barry Sonnenfeld.

Though Linda Fiorentino’s character was prepped to co-anchor in the sequel alongside Will Smith, it has been reported that Tommy Lee Jones only agreed to return under the direct stipulation that Fiorentino wasn’t invited back.

Fire Island Lighthouse, New York, serves as a stand-in for the Truro, Massachusetts, Post Office.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Lara Flynn Boyle, 2003)

Eraser Preview

“I shouldn’t have wasted time talking to you,” says the woman cat burglar, “I should have listened to my mama and never talked to strangers.” Clutch smiles to himself, great minds. “Well, lady,” he says, holding out his hand, “the name is Clutch. Clutch Guthrie. See? Now we’re not strangers.” The cat burglar smirks and takes his hand, “Katherine Lattimore, but I still think my mama would tell me to steer clear of you.” Suddenly they hear a soft cough and they turn to see the Wishmaster waiting impatiently. “If you two are done with your introductions I’d appreciate it if you grant me one wish: hand over the gold,” he says with a sneer. Kat and Clutch look at each other and nod, turning their handshake smoothly into a spinning flying double scissor kick. “Oh no! Not a spinning flying double scissor kick! The only thing that can stop my wishes!” screeches The Wishmaster.

Patrick looks at the last passage and feels like it doesn’t seem exactly right. Has he given The Wishmaster enough backstory for the reader to understand why a spinning flying double scissor kick would be the only logical thing to defeat his wish power? Being a professional writer who writes very professional passages like the one above, these are the types of questions that can take hours to answer. Everything must be tight. He reaches for his eraser but pauses. Does he have time? At this very moment that piece of shit hack Manfred Long is also writing his story. But when he looks at Manfred he’s still deep into his Quickening brought on by his use of the Obsidian Dongle. His page is also curiously blank. Patrick shrugs and grabs the eraser. Now what needs to be modified to get his point across? That’s right! We are doing the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Eraser. We weren’t quite at the tail end of the Arnold heyday, but we were on the verge. This is part of the chain going through John Snyder. Let’s go!

Jamie swoops down on his hang glider towards the hack jack port. A cyborg flies in to intercept, but Kyle knocks him out of the way and winks his classic Kyle wink. Hack jacking his way like the jack master he is, Jamie enters Party Town, USA… the world where he and Kyle make the rules and are guardians of the universe. That’s right! We are pairing Eraser with Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe starring Jesse Ventura… but also featuring Jim Belushi, star of K-9. Pretty great. Let’s go!

Eraser (1996) – BMeTric: 30.2; Notability: 103

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 21.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 36.6%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Striptease, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Bio-Dome, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, Ed, The Crow: City of Angels, The Stupids, Hellraiser: Bloodline, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard, Poison Ivy II, Solo, Jingle All the Way, The Glimmer Man, Eddie, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, D3: The Mighty Ducks, Maximum Risk, and 33 more; Lower RT: The Dentist, Ed, Big Bully, Adrenalin: Fear the Rush, Ripe, Bio-Dome, Kazaam, Faithful, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard, Bulletproof, Eye for an Eye, Solo, Celtic Pride, House Arrest, Mrs. Winterbourne, Larger Than Life, Two If by Sea, The Glimmer Man, Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, and 66 more; Notes: I’m pretty surprised this is even as low as a 6.1 on IMDb, I would have thought it would have been mid-6 for sure. That notability is gaudy.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – It helps to have a short attention span while watching “Eraser,” the new Arnold Schwarzenegger picture. … “Eraser” is more or less what you expect, two hours of mindless nonstop high-tech action, with preposterous situations, a body count in the dozens, and Arnold introducing a new trademark line of dialogue (it’s supposed to be “Trust me,” but I think “You’re luggage” will win on points). Thinking back over the film, I can only praise the director’s restraint in leaving out the canary.

(I’m liking the sound of that. A big dumb Arnold actioner that I’ve somehow ever seen? You know those are an endangered species unfortunately.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYfiV8rb3fA/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYfiV8rb3fA/

(The trailer not explaining the magic gun while showing the magic bullet-time shots is hilarious. And once they basically bust out the Prodigy techno in the trailer is also incredible.)

Directors – Chuck Russell – (Known For: The Mask; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors; The Scorpion King; The Blob; I Am Wrath; Junglee; BMT: Eraser; Bless the Child; Notes: His directorial efforts are few and far between these days, although he is tapped for three films at the moment the crappy looking Bruce Willis feature seems like the most likely to actually get made by him.)

Writers – Tony Puryear – (BMT: Eraser; Notes: An artist as well, he created the campaign poster for Hillary Clinton’s 2008 presidential campaign which is now hanging in the National Portrait Gallery.)

Walon Green – (Known For: WarGames; Dinosaur; The Wild Bunch; Sorcerer; The Border; The Brink’s Job; The Hi-Lo Country; Morituri; Crusoe; BMT: Solarbabies; RoboCop 2; Eraser; Notes: Wrote and produced a ton of Law & Order over the years. Was nominated for an oscar for The Wild Bunch, and won for his documentary The Hellstrom Chronicle)

Michael S. Chernuchin – (BMT: Eraser; Notes: Wrote and produced a bunch of the Law & Order series, including being nominated for 4 Emmys in connection with the series.)

Actors – Arnold Schwarzenegger – (Known For: Predator; Terminator 2: Judgment Day; Terminator: Dark Fate; Total Recall; The Terminator; True Lies; Conan the Barbarian; Commando; The Expendables; Last Action Hero; The Running Man; Escape Plan; Kindergarten Cop; Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines; The Expendables 2; Twins; The Long Goodbye; Iron Mask; The Last Stand; The Rundown; Future BMT: Terminator Genisys; End of Days; Collateral Damage; Junior; BMT: Batman & Robin; The Expendables 3; Red Sonja; Conan the Destroyer; Around the World in 80 Days; Eraser; Raw Deal; Sabotage; Jingle All the Way; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 1983 for Conan the Barbarian; in 1994 for Last Action Hero; in 2000 for End of Days; and in 2001 for The 6th Day; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor in 1998 for Batman & Robin; in 2001 for The 6th Day; in 2005 for Around the World in 80 Days; in 2015 for The Expendables 3; and in 2021 for Tayna pechati drakona; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for The 6th Day in 2001; Notes: Y’all know Arnold. He’s slated to be in a new Twins film and a new Conan film which is exciting. Mr. Olympia from Austria and one of the biggest blockbuster actors ever.)

Vanessa Williams – (Known For: Hannah Montana: The Movie; Shaft; When Marnie Was There; Bad Hair; Soul Food; The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland; The Man from Earth: Holocene; Dance with Me; The Pick-up Artist; Hoodlum; Delhi Safari; He’s Way More Famous Than You; The Legend of Hallowaiian; My Brother; And Then Came Love; Future BMT: Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man; Johnson Family Vacation; Another You; Light It Up; BMT: Eraser; Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor; Notes: Was the first African American Miss America. Nominated for three Emmys for Ugly Betty, and famously married to NBA star (and sometimes actor) Rick Fox.)

James Caan – (Known For: The Godfather; The Godfather: Part II; Rollerball; Misery; Elf; Dogville; Dick Tracy; Get Smart; Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs; Queen Bees; El Dorado; Detachment; A Bridge Too Far; Thief; Bottle Rocket; 1941; Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2; The Tale of The Princess Kaguya; The Program; Henry’s Crime; Future BMT: Bulletproof; BMT: That’s My Boy; Eraser; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for The Godfather. Apparently he lived in the Playboy mansion in the 70s … which is crazy.)

Budget/Gross – $100,000,000 / Domestic: $101,295,562 (Worldwide: $242,295,562)

(Decent return, although I would have expected more domestically. But apparently this is kind of the last hurrah of the classic Arnold blockbusters, so maybe his power was already fading.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 38% (19/50): Eraser’s shoot-’em-up action might show off some cutting edge weaponry, but its rote story is embarrassingly obsolete.

(Hmmmm, so old news … but what is old is new again these days I imagine. As NBC used to say, if you haven’t seen it it’s new to you!)

Reviewer Highlight: The advanced weaponry and nifty scopes notwithstanding, most of the gunplay is pretty standard-issue, with most of the victims being anonymous targets present just to be picked off. – Todd McCarthy, Variety

Poster – Eraser? I Barely Know Her

(Is it weird that I kinda like this? It’s got that subtle green of a security camera, which gives me Enemy of the State vibes, which I like. It’s kind of artistic and I like the green glow behind the otherwise boring font. I don’t know. This is not nearly as bad as it should be. B)

Tagline(s) – He will erase your past to protect your future. (B+)

(A little strange to use the name of the title in the tagline, but it is effective. Nice cadence and pairing of past-future. I find the use of the word “your” mildly amusing… who? Little ol’ me? Anyway, it’s pretty good.)

Keyword(s) – witness-protection

Top 10: Goodfellas (1990), Heat (1995), The Mule (2018), The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017), Legend (2015), The Incredibles (2004), Bad Boys (1995), Game Night (2018), Donnie Brasco (1997), A History of Violence (2005)

Future BMT: 52.0 Madea’s Witness Protection (2012), 42.0 Domestic Disturbance (2001), 38.3 See Spot Run (2001), 31.5 Bird on a Wire (1990), 28.8 15 Minutes (2001), 24.3 The Family (2013), 14.6 Smokin’ Aces (2006), 10.8 Hiding Out (1987)

BMT: Cobra (1986), Eraser (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Hot Pursuit (2015), Mercury Rising (1998), Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009)

Matches: Smokin’ Aces (2006), The Family (2013), Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003), Eraser (1996), Hit and Run (2012), My Blue Heaven (1990), Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009), Route 666 (2001), Night of the Sicario (2021), F/X (1986), Killshot (2008), See Spot Run (2001), Hide in Plain Sight (1980), Nowhere Land (1998), The Secret Pact (1999)

(Kind of amusing that there really aren’t that many true matches that are “good”. The top 10 have some bangers though. And my god, Domestic Disturbance is something to look forward to.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Arnold Schwarzenegger is No. 1 billed in Eraser and No. 1 billed in Red Sonja, which also stars Brigitte Nielsen (No. 2 billed) who is in Cobra (No. 2 billed) which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 15. If we were to watch The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – The company name “Cyrez” was originally “Cyrex”, but the real-life company Cyrix complained. The movie had been shot, but all dialogue was dubbed and company logos were digitally altered during post-production. In one scene where Kruger and Lee review the files on the disc in Donohue’s office, some of the files have names beginning with CYX, indicating Cyrex.

Arnold Schwarzenegger really did free-fall for about sixty-five feet. He was harnessed into a piece of stunt technology called a descender rig. Directly afterwards, Chuck Russell told Schwarzenegger that there had been something wrong with the camera, and the scene had to be repeated. However, this was immediately revealed to be a prank, as to not upset Schwarzenegger any further.

Director Chuck Russell and producer Arnold Kopelson had a rocky relationship during the entire production. The only reason the film was able to go forward and ultimately be completed was that Arnold Schwarzenegger got along with each man separately, and was able to negotiate schedules and logistics at a point where the two men refused to speak to each other.

Cinematographer Adam Greenberg was personally chosen for the job by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who had worked with him on the first two Terminator movies. Schwarzenegger assured the production that if they wanted an experienced, professional cameraman who could capture the action on the film’s hectic schedule that Greenberg was the man for the job.

Arnold Schwarzenegger premiered the film at the Olympic Village in Atlanta, Georgia, during the 1996 Summer Games. The Goo Goo Dolls performed a live concert before the film was shown.

Frank Darabont and William Wisher were brought in mid production to revise the screenplay. Wisher co-wrote The Terminator & Terminator 2 Judgement Day.

The movie was mostly filmed on hand-held cameras, to make the audience feel closer to the action. Adam Greenberg sometimes used up to seven cameras at one time.

John Milius did multiple re-writes as a favor to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Vanessa Williams performed the song “Where Do We Go From Here”, which is heard during the end credits.

At the premiere, Vanessa Williams walked the red carpet puffing one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s signature cigars.

The movie has a sequel in the form of a video game, an FMV rail shooter with some adventure elements called Eraser – Turnabout (1996).

Two walk-on parts went for $4,500 each at a Planet Hollywood auction in 1995.

A novelization of the film by Robert Tine was published by Signet on August 29, 1996, the 5 year anniversary of Judgement Day from Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) the day that SKYnet took over the earth.

Awards – Nominee for the Oscar for Best Effects, Sound Effects Editing (Alan Robert Murray, Bub Asman, 1997)