Oh man, get this. I was running down the street to try and catch the school bus when I ran directly into this other goober. Well guess what? We are best friends now! But I did suffer a huge concussion and don’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We meet Harry and Llyod prior to them meeting each other. How do they meet though?
2) Meanwhile there is a consipiracy going on in the school between the lunch lady and the principal. What is their dastardly plan to steal money from the school?
3) In the original film Harry embarasses himself after getting dosed with laxatives by Lloyd. In this movie, how does he embarass himself in an annoyingly similar way?
4) When they break into the principal’s office using Lloyd’s father’s keys, what to they find which is totally going to crack the case?
5) In the finale of the film the bad guys are caught (obviously). In it there is a float that is repurposed into a float of Eugene Levy admitting all his crimes. Who was the float of originally?
Bonus Question: I’m pretty down in the dumps because I’ve had so many agents recently. While sadly eating dinner in the office I get called in by my boss. What does he want?
“I ain’t afraid of no gh-gh-ghosts,” Jamie says, looking at the stately manor that Patrick has taken them to. Patrick tells him that he had graduated from the Style Section of Love 101 and was ready to ‘Get all the feels.’ “And by feels I mean time to seal the deal with what every woman wants,” Patrick explains. Jamie nods in understanding. “A firm handshake,” he says matter of factly. “Only the firmest,” Patrick agrees. Kyle looks wistful for a moment remembering when he and Rachel shared their first firm handshake. “But what does this have to do with a ghost house (with the most house)?” Jamie asks. Patrick chuckles. “What’s a better way to strengthen those handshake muscles than busting ghosts?” He says, handing proton packs to Jamie and Kyle. “Wait a second, where’s your proton pack?” Jamie asks. Patrick slaps him on the shoulder and assures him that he’s been shaking hands with his lady since 1982. As they approach the house Jamie is just glad that Samantha had that European tour set for her new book. It sure does look spooky and he wouldn’t like her to see how scared he is. Just when he is about to declare this lesson to be the dumbest one yet, Patrick pipes up jovially. “This actually reminds me of when we all first met,” he says. “You mean in jail?” Kyle asks, his voice hitching in fear. “Oh yeah,” Jamie says, momentarily distracted from how hauntingly spooktacular the house looks, “we had to clean out the basement of the jail, remember? Now that you mention it, that was way scarier than this.” Suddenly he’s not feeling so bad. “Yeah,” Patrick says remembering, “we were all just too young and dumb to be scared.” That’s right! We are doing a double dose of “dumb” with a healthy serving of “meet” by watching the Dumb and Dumber prequel and sequel: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and Dumb and Dumber To. We saw the prequel in theaters oh so many years ago and it has always been a point of pride. This cycle seemed like the perfect time to break it out by pairing it with the sequel that is a surprising BMT qualifier. Let’s go!
Dumb and Dumber To (2014) – BMeTric: 47.8; Notability: 61
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 10.8%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 27.0%; Higher BMeT: Left Behind, The Legend of Hercules, Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas, Ouija, God’s Not Dead, V/H/S Viral, Devil’s Due, The Pyramid, Tammy, A Haunted House 2, The Prince, Sex Tape, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, I, Frankenstein, Outcast, Rage, American Heist, Annabelle, Everly, Annie, and 7 more; Higher Notability: Transformers: Age of Extinction, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Exodus: Gods and Kings, Dracula Untold, Transcendence; Lower RT: Left Behind, The Prince, Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas, Outcast, I, Frankenstein, The Legend of Hercules, Ouija, Some Kind of Beautiful, A Haunted House 2, Just Before I Go, The Forger, The Angriest Man in Brooklyn, The Cobbler, The Longest Week, The Bag Man, Seventh Son, God’s Not Dead, The Best of Me, Good People, Rage, and 47 more; Notes: We’ve seen the top four BMeT, but then it gets spotty. My god, The Pyramid. We really need to do The Pyramid at some point.
RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Bottom line: For every joke that works, there are five that fall flat and one that elicits waves of disgust. You might be able to handle that ratio, however, just to hear absurd discussions like this one between Penny and Lloyd. “I’ve always wanted to go to India and work in a leprechaun colony,” Penny says. Counters Lloyd, after digesting the statement: “I think you mean Ireland.”
(Not a terrible joke, although it is borderline “cadence of a joke”. Like I get the joke, but also it feels like Lloyd is almost too dumb to make the joke in a way that makes sense. Overall I agree with the sentiment though.)
(I remember seeing the beginning of this trailer and being like NOPE. Such a dumb joke. I would rather they suggested they just had silly adventures for 25 years or whatever. Some of the others are decent, although all the good jokes are probably in this trailer.)
Directors – Bobby Farrelly – ( Known For: There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Kingpin; Stuck on You; Fever Pitch; Osmosis Jones; The Three Stooges; Champions; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Notes: They have kind of struck out on their own recently. He directed Champions without Peter for example.)
Peter Farrelly – ( Known For: Green Book; Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Kingpin; Stuck on You; Fever Pitch; Osmosis Jones; The Three Stooges; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Ricky Stanicky; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Movie 43; Notes: Ricky flipping Stanicky. That one was Peter on his own as well. He also won two Oscars for Green Book.)
Writers – Sean Anders and John Morris – ( Known For: We’re the Millers; Hot Tub Time Machine; She’s Out of My League; Instant Family; Mr. Popper’s Penguins; Sex Drive; Spirited; Never Been Thawed; Future BMT: Horrible Bosses 2; Daddy’s Home 2; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Notes: They’ve had an amusing string of bad sequels. No upcoming which is odd, last film was Spirited.)
Peter Farrelly – ( Known For: Green Book; Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Stuck on You; The Three Stooges; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Ricky Stanicky; Outside Providence; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Yeah won the Oscar for Green Book. A lot of their films are set in Providence or sometimes a place that could be confused for Martha’s Vineyard where they also own houses.)
Bobby Farrelly – ( Known For: Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Stuck on You; The Three Stooges; Outside Providence; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; Bushwhacked; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Huh, he wrote Bushwacked under a pseudonym it would seem, as Danny Byers. Strange.)
Bennett Yellin – ( Known For: Dumb and Dumber; In the Blood; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Writing the forever-in-production remake/sequel/requel (?) of Police Academy.)
Mike Cerrone – ( Known For: Me, Myself & Irene; The Three Stooges; Ricky Stanicky; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Notes: Seems to be a friend of the Farrellys as he gets punch up credit on a few of their films and bit parts as well.)
Actors – Jim Carrey – ( Known For: The Truman Show; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; Bruce Almighty; The Mask; Dumb and Dumber; Yes Man; Liar Liar; Ace Ventura: Pet Detective; How the Grinch Stole Christmas; Me, Myself & Irene; A Series of Unfortunate Events; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; The Cable Guy; Sonic the Hedgehog; Horton Hears a Who!; Man on the Moon; A Christmas Carol; Mr. Popper’s Penguins; I Love You Phillip Morris; Sonic the Hedgehog 2; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Fun with Dick and Jane; The Incredible Burt Wonderstone; Pink Cadillac; BMT: Batman Forever; Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls; The Number 23; Dumb and Dumber To; Once Bitten; Notes: I remember looking at this ages ago, but he’s never not been famous since he broke bit with his golden year with The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, and Ace Ventura. It seems like he’s faded on occasion, but if you look he never really has, he just changes audience focus. Nominated for an Emmy for Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond.)
Jeff Daniels – ( Known For: The Martian; Looper; Dumb and Dumber; Speed; Steve Jobs; State of Play; The Hours; Pleasantville; Good Night, and Good Luck.; The Squid and the Whale; Arachnophobia; Terms of Endearment; The Lookout; Traitor; Away We Go; The Purple Rose of Cairo; Blood Work; Radio Days; Gettysburg; Fly Away Home; Future BMT: Allegiant; 101 Dalmatians; RV; My Favorite Martian; Space Chimps; The Butcher’s Wife; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Gods and Generals; Notes: Won two Emmys for The Newsroom and Godless. Was nominated for three more. I find it crazy he’s never been nominated for an Oscar for things like The Purple Rose of Cairo.)
Rob Riggle – ( Known For: The Hangover; 21 Jump Street; 22 Jump Street; Step Brothers; The Other Guys; Hotel Transylvania; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; Hotel Transylvania 2; The Lorax; 12 Strong; Going the Distance; Absolutely Anything; Strays; True Memoirs of an International Assassin; Big Miracle; Just Before I Go; Super High Me; The Curse of Bridge Hollow; Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life; Dead Rising: Watchtower; Future BMT: The Internship; Let’s Be Cops; Larry Crowne; Night School; The War with Grandpa; The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard; How to Be a Latin Lover; UglyDolls; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Killers; Midnight Sun; My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2; Furry Vengeance; Unaccompanied Minors; Notes: The classic story: a soldier turned comedian who now is a pretty standard punch up guy when they need someone to be funny randomly in a film. Nominated for an Emmy for voice over in Prep & Landing: Naughty vs. Nice.)
(That actually is pretty good. I’m constantly surprised more comedies aren’t still making it to theaters. You can clearly make them on a budget with experienced comedy filmmakers.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 30% (46/153): Dumb and Dumber To does have its moments, but not enough of them — and the Farrelly brothers’ brand of humor is nowhere near as refreshingly transgressive as it once seemed.
(Yeah I think that is constantly the problem with films like this. The humor has evolved but it is almost never enough to make sense in making a good sequel.)
Reviewer Highlight: The Farrellys are still not much interested in film as a visual medium, and when Lloyd and Harry aren’t smacking each other or dropping their pants, you might as well be listening to a radio play. – Manohla Dargis, New York Times
(It is an iconic image and even the silly 90’s font is iconic. I think some people cringed at the title, but it’s totally in keeping with the first film. Anyway, it’s fine. B-.)
Tagline(s) – The average person uses 10% of their brain capacity. Imagine what he could do with 1%. (D)
(Lol, what?)
Keyword(s) – 2007-2015
Top 10: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), The Hangover Part II (2011), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), In Time (2011), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 2012 (2009), Terminator Salvation (2009), Due Date (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.3 Prom Night (2008), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 78.0 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.6 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 72.0 Dance Flick (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)
BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011), Getaway (2013), …
Best Options (Comedy): 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 72.0 Dance Flick (2009), 70.2 Delta Farce (2007), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 69.4 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 69.1 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 68.5 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.1 An American Carol (2008), 64.8 Sex Tape (2014), 64.7 The Comebacks (2007), 64.6 Tooth Fairy (2010), 63.7 Underdog (2007), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.1 Space Chimps (2008), 61.1 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.9 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 60.8 Meet Dave (2008), 60.7 College (2008), 60.0 Code Name: The Cleaner (2007), 60.0 Witless Protection (2008), 60.0 Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011), …
(It is there, but obviously lower than the absurd options we still have available. My god. There are so many bad movies that to speed things up I only scraped data on the bad ones … there were like 100 qualifying movies one year, it was an insane time. Anyways. Out of all the movies I can already tell most are going to be no fun nonsense, but someday we’ll watch Meet Dave and Holy Man and stuff and finish off Eddie Murphy’s catalog.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jim Carrey is No. 1 billed in Dumb and Dumber To and No. 1 billed in The Number 23, which also stars Virginia Madsen (No. 2 billed) who is in Firewall (No. 3 billed) which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.
Notes – No CGI was used for the full body paint on Rob Riggle to blend in with the hotel hallway. It took six hours to paint him and blend in accurately with the vending machine.
The Farrelly Brothers couldn’t get in touch with Brady Bluhm to reprise his role as Billy. They eventually found him through Facebook and were able to get him for the sequel. Due to regulations, Bluhm had to audition for the Farrellys.
Jim Carrey nearly dropped out of the sequel because he felt that the project’s original producers, Warner Bros., weren’t enthusiastic about the film. Carrey eventually decided to rejoin the project, although Warner Bros. dropped the project, which was then taken up by Red Granite Pictures and Universal Studios.
This marks the first film since Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) where Jim Carrey reprises his character from a previous film.
Numerous posters and official pieces of artwork depict Harry and Lloyd in the “dog van” from the original Dumb and Dumber (1994). However, in the actual movie, they are in it for less than one minute of screen time.
“I ain’t afraid of no gh-gh-ghosts,” Jamie says, looking at the stately manor that Patrick has taken them to. Patrick tells him that he had graduated from the Style Section of Love 101 and was ready to ‘Get all the feels.’ “And by feels I mean time to seal the deal with what every woman wants,” Patrick explains. Jamie nods in understanding. “A firm handshake,” he says matter of factly. “Only the firmest,” Patrick agrees. Kyle looks wistful for a moment remembering when he and Rachel shared their first firm handshake. “But what does this have to do with a ghost house (with the most house)?” Jamie asks. Patrick chuckles. “What’s a better way to strengthen those handshake muscles than busting ghosts?” He says, handing proton packs to Jamie and Kyle. “Wait a second, where’s your proton pack?” Jamie asks. Patrick slaps him on the shoulder and assures him that he’s been shaking hands with his lady since 1982. As they approach the house Jamie is just glad that Samantha had that European tour set for her new book. It sure does look spooky and he wouldn’t like her to see how scared he is. Just when he is about to declare this lesson to be the dumbest one yet, Patrick pipes up jovially. “This actually reminds me of when we all first met,” he says. “You mean in jail?” Kyle asks, his voice hitching in fear. “Oh yeah,” Jamie says, momentarily distracted from how hauntingly spooktacular the house looks, “we had to clean out the basement of the jail, remember? Now that you mention it, that was way scarier than this.” Suddenly he’s not feeling so bad. “Yeah,” Patrick says remembering, “we were all just too young and dumb to be scared.” That’s right! We are doing a double dose of “dumb” with a healthy serving of “meet” by watching the Dumb and Dumber prequel and sequel: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and Dumb and Dumber To. We saw the prequel in theaters oh so many years ago and it has always been a point of pride. This cycle seemed like the perfect time to break it out by pairing it with the sequel that is a surprising BMT qualifier. Let’s go!
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) – BMeTric: 88.8; Notability: 40
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 22.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.2%; Higher BMeT: The Room, Gigli, House of the Dead, … Higher Notability: The Matrix Revolutions, Bad Boys II, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, Brother Bear, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Scary Movie 3, The Haunted Mansion, The Cat in the Hat, Gods and Generals, Timeline, Hollywood Homicide, Tears of the Sun, The Core, Agent Cody Banks, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life, Cradle 2 the Grave, Duplex, Paycheck, Beyond Borders, Wonderland, and 36 more; Lower RT: Dorm Daze, The Foreigner, Hangman’s Curse, Gold Diggers, House of the Dead, Gigli, Kangaroo Jack, From Justin to Kelly, My Boss’s Daughter, Grind, Marci X, Gods and Generals, The Cat in the Hat, The Order, Darkness Falls; Notes: Jesus, that is one high BMeT. And the best bit is that there are apparently three others that beat it? We still haven’t seen House of the Dead, although it was at one point on the docket for 2003 as horror for the next cycle. I think we nixed it ultimately, so it’ll have to wait still.
Leonard Maltin – BOMB – Desperate prequel to the 1994 comedy hit shows the two oafish friends meeting up in high school and becoming pawns in their slimy principal’s scheme to get funding for a special education class – and abscond with the funds. The actors playing younger versions of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels do a good job, but this movie is appallingly unfunny; a particular waste of Levy and Oteri’s comedy talents.
(He really can’t help himself, he needs to add in that semicolon. This is probably the first BOMB in quite a while. He doesn’t throw them out willy nilly.)
(Wow, remember when trailers would make fun of other movies like Lord of the Rings. Kind of weird that Richardson was hired first because I think he looks much worse as a young Harry as Olsen does as Lloyd.)
Directors – Troy Miller – ( Known For: Run Ronnie Run; Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story; Future BMT: Jack Frost; BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Nominated for 7 Emmys for things like editing a movie for the Emmys, but also for Flight of the Conchords. He’s directed a ton of random television like Arrested Development and Brooklyn Nine-nine.)
Writers – Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly – ( Known For: Green Book; Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Stuck on You; The Three Stooges; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Ricky Stanicky; Outside Providence; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Obviously just got a credit for the characters.)
Bennett Yellin – ( Known For: Dumb and Dumber; In the Blood; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Also just characters, but looking through his filmography reminds me that there is a Dumb and Dumber cartoon … should I watch that?)
Robert Brener – ( BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Was also an executive producer on the movie.)
Troy Miller – ( BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Pretty much his only actual screenplay credit. What a bizarre movie. I think both of these guys only wrote this and nothing else in their careers.)
Actors – Derek Richardson – ( Known For: Hostel; Hostel: Part II; Reeker; The Power of Few; Home; BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Is married to Franka Potente from The Bourne Identity. Was the original actor cast in the film.)
Eric Christian Olsen – ( Known For: Cellular; Sunshine Cleaning; Beerfest; Battle of the Sexes; The Last Kiss; Celeste & Jesse Forever; Band of Robbers; The Six Wives of Henry Lefay; Sun Dogs; Local Boys; The Relationtrip; Future BMT: Eagle Eye; The Thing; Not Another Teen Movie; The Hot Chick; The Back-up Plan; Fired Up!; The Comebacks; BMT: Pearl Harbor; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; License to Wed; Notes: Has been in over 300 episodes of NCIS: Los Angeles.)
Eugene Levy – ( Known For: American Pie; Finding Dory; American Pie 2; American Reunion; American Wedding; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; Over the Hedge; Serendipity; Vacation; Goon; Father of the Bride; Splash; Best in Show; Father of the Bride Part II; Astro Boy; Heavy Metal; Multiplicity; Waiting for Guffman; Taking Woodstock; A Mighty Wind; Future BMT: The Man; Down to Earth; Holy Man; Almost Heroes; The Ladies Man; Armed and Dangerous; I Love Trouble; Madea’s Witness Protection; Club Paradise; Once Upon a Crime…; Speed Zone; BMT: Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Bringing Down the House; New York Minute; Notes: Famously on SCTV and was nominated for 13 Emmys, 9 for SCTV (won two) and 4 for Schitt’s Creek (won two).)
(like … close, but yeah, probably pretty bad. But I should say, we gave them like $10 I’m sure. I distinctly remember seeing this in theaters. What a wild life I’ve led.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (12/119): This lame prequel induces more groans than laughs. Rent the original instead.
(Man, just a shade over 10% here. That seems like a crime. How does this have any good reviews?)
Reviewer Highlight: While Dumb and Dumber possessed a bracing, genuine vulgarity, this new film is more often merely disgusting as it piles up jokes involving various bodily discharges and the unpleasant things that can be done with them. – David Kehr, New York Times
(I distinctly remember this poster from when it came out. It is terrible. You could fire this off in powerpoint in an afternoon. D.)
Tagline(s) – The evolution of dumb… (B-)
(I’m OK with this. I just have one question. Is this actually supposed to be a play on ‘The evolution of man’ but with ‘dumb’ replacing ‘man’? I assume so, but I can’t tell if that is a good or bad thing.)
Keyword(s) – 2007-2015
Top 10: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), The Hangover Part II (2011), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), In Time (2011), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 2012 (2009), Terminator Salvation (2009), Due Date (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.3 Prom Night (2008), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 78.0 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.6 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 72.0 Dance Flick (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)
BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011), Getaway (2013), …
Best Options (Comedy): 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 72.0 Dance Flick (2009), 70.2 Delta Farce (2007), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 69.4 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 69.1 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 68.5 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.1 An American Carol (2008), 64.8 Sex Tape (2014), 64.7 The Comebacks (2007), 64.6 Tooth Fairy (2010), 63.7 Underdog (2007), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.1 Space Chimps (2008), 61.1 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.9 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 60.8 Meet Dave (2008), 60.7 College (2008), 60.0 Code Name: The Cleaner (2007), 60.0 Witless Protection (2008), 60.0 Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011), …
(What a bonus. Out of all the ones we’ve done (and it is way more than just those listed) probably In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is the craziest. Although part of me wants to say Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li is probably the biggest bang for your buck.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Mimi Rogers is No. 3 billed in Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and No. 4 billed in Lost in Space, which also stars Heather Graham (No. 7 billed) who is in Say It Isn’t So (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 4) + (7 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 19. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.
Notes – Early on, South Park (1997) creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were lined up to write the prequel for $1.5 million. They later decided to not work on the project and returned all of the money to New Line.
Due to events that retroactively occur/are stated in Dumb and Dumber To (2014), When Harry Met Lloyd is no longer canon.
The truck that pulls in front of Jessica as she is chasing the short school bus is hauling “Turbo Lax”, the same laxative Lloyd gives Harry in the original Dumb and Dumber (1994).
Lin Shaye was the only cast member to star in both the original Dumb and Dumber (1994) and the prequel.
Eric Christian Olsen was repeatedly denied the role of Lloyd because the producers thought he was “too good-looking”. It was only after seeing some home-video footage of Eric in full make-up improvising a scene with already-cast Derek Richardson that they gave him the role.
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Eric Christian Olsen, Derek Richardson)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Robert Brener, Troy Miller)
Oh hi, there. It’s me, Franchise Man. You may remember me best from when I demanded that they make another Mummy movie starring Tom Cruise. I’m here to tell you about something very important to me. In an age where franchise technology has innovated to create all manner of franchise extension I believe we’ve lost sight of franchise’s greatest weapon: the remake. Why must we constrain ourselves with previously created lore? Why must we always consider the fans of the franchise and how they feel? What about how I feel? I feel like creating something almost exactly the same as the original… is that so wrong? And maybe I’ll add some jump scares… or something… I don’t know. All I know is that I should be able to look to the past and then produce a ghostly specter of the film that people loved. Something so ghastly that it will haunt the fans for decades to come. Is that not horrific? Is that not terrifying? Am I not Franchise Man?
To recap, Eric and Amy (and their three kids, Madison, Griffin, and Kendra) are moving on down. Eric has lost his job and is holding out for something perfect. Meanwhile he’s battling the scariest thing of all… credit card debt. Aaahhhhhhhhh. Why are you spending all that money, Eric? Time to tighten that belt! You have three kids rapidly approaching college age! Spoooookkkyyyy. When they move into the new house they find it spooktakular. This is put into stark relief when the parents go out to a dinner party and come home to find the two older children actively being attacked by their greatest fears (old people and trees, I guess) and the youngest, Madison, sucked into some poltergeist realm. Turns out she’s got the Shine (but not really, we don’t want to get sued). The family begins to fall apart and they look anywhere for help. This includes a professor of the paranormal and a host of a paranormal TV show. These jokesters come in and start doing all their stuff. They pretty quickly realize that they are in fact afraid of these ghosts and busting feels better in theory than in practice. They end up finding a path out of the poltergeist realm, but how are they going to help Madison find the path? Oh I know! A drone! But what if that drone crashes. Oh I know! Griffin will overcome his fears and go after Madison himself. He is able to rescue Madison and then it’s a mad scramble to get out of the house before it is sucked into Poltergeist World. Ultimately the TV host sacrifices himself to help them escape… or maybe not. It’s hard to tell. THE END.
I started this film and I was ready to be like “a bold take on Poltergeist, I like it! Franchise Man!” But I was quickly disabused of that notion. Sure we get a little taste of what they were going for. The family is all afraid. The dad is afraid he won’t be able to provide. The mom that she isn’t a good enough writer. The son of… everything. The oldest daughter is addicted to her phone (afraid of the world?). As a result the youngest daughter is left alone. So alone that her only solace is the spirit world that she can communicate with. Great start, guys. From there it is chaos only a Franchise Man could love. The ending it so bad that it’s probably only saved from being on some “worst endings of all time” lists because no one saw this movie or remembers it exists. Sigh. I wanted to like you Poltergeist.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Um… you ever think that maybe it’s the family that’s in Poltergeist World and the daughter is in the real world. Wooooaaahhhh. Credit card debt up the wazoo. No job prospects. Squirrels in the attic. Uh… clowns… also in the attic. I mean, sounds like the whole family is dealing with a horrorshow, doesn’t it? Maybe the real world looks like a ghost realm of terror to those living through the real terror of this family’s life. Have I hooked you yet? Good, then buckle up for my new movie I’m directing: Credit Card Debt: The Movie. Rated NC-17. Hot Take Temperature: Jared Harris.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about Poltergeist … again?! Let’s go!
I don’t really begrudge an attempt to redo a movie. They are redoing The Running Man soon. I just watched the first Running Man. It was kind of fun … kind of weird too and not at all like the book, so there is room for some improvement. Want to try and reboot Nightmare on Elm Street? Hey why not? Could be a lot of stuff to mine out of “an evil guy is so evil he can kill you in your dreams” idea without having to deal with the truly demented amount of lore.
Poltergeist was a really fun and interesting movie with some pretty cool 80s horror moments. But nothing so great that it can’t be tried again, and the sequels are really terrible and so being able to extend stuff works and could be fun!
This movie is pointless though. It didn’t try and take any of the cool stuff from the original, the actors top to bottom are less fun than in the original, and the idea is even lamer couched in nonsensical connections to the 2008 financial crisis (kind of).
Cool stuff from the original: the suggestion that really the ghosts just needed a way to go home. Some of the practical effects, and the psychic.
Stuff that is much lamer in the reboot: the suggestions that the ghosts are just like evil and want to steal the young girl for some reason, the much lamer practical effects, and the much lamer psychic who is now a History Channel hack I guess.
The movie is also not scary, and it doesn’t do a good job playing to its strength (which is punching way above its weight in getting Rockwell).
I guess where does this rank on the Poltergeist rankings? I think third. The third film is really dire and is actually just messily made. This is at least kind of harmless. The first and second are both much better though even though the second has its own problems (making everyone unlikeable and suffering from a severe case of over-explainitis).
Great Product Placement (What?) for Apple where a huge part of the film is Sam Rockwell buying a new sweet iPhone for his daughter. A pretty nice Setting as a Character (Where?) for Illinois, which is just all over license plates and stuff. And naturally a Worst Twist (How?) for reupping the same twist at the end of the original which was much better in that one as well. I think this is Bad, it is just not an interesting or inventive reboot, it’s lazy.
Read about my new rebooted sequel in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Oh man, turns out I have some spooky ghosts in my house … again. I feel like I remember this happening before. Huh … this seems really familiar. Do you remember what happened in Poltergeist (2015)?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Can you call that product placement? Well, regardless where did Sam Rockwell work prior to getting laid off which resulted in a very awkward exchange with their realtor?
2) What is Sam Rockwell trying to buy when all of his credit cards are declined?
3) While away at a dinner party the house be all haunted. What happens to each of the three kids?
4) So what’s the plan then. How are they going to get Maddie back?
5) So … why is the house haunted?
Bonus Question: My house has been pretty spooky recently so I haven’t slept in twenty six nights. I’m a tad bit howyousay … insane? I startle when my home phone rings. Who is it?
“That was amazing,” Jamie says and then turns to everyone else. “Wasn’t that am…” he stops, looking bewildered. Apparently while he was listening to Sam’s story they were let out of jail. He looks up at a banner hanging above him that reads “The Men in Black Take London: Fashion Made Simply Complicated.” Next to that nonsense is a picture of Kyle, Jamie and Patrick posed like Charlie’s Angels in tuxedos. “What thuuuuu,” Jamie says dumbly. “Finally, the prodigal son has returned,” Patrick says from behind him. Jamie swings around to find Kyle and Patrick smirking at him. How dare they smirk like a couple Sir Smirks-a-lots at him! Outrageous! “And by prodigal son I mean your brain since you’ve been listening blankly to Sam recite that (I have to admit, quite good) book for the last 48 hours.” Sam blushes at the compliment given by one of their generation’s great American writers. “Meanwhile, Kyle here has been putting in the work,” Patrick says, patting Kyle on the back. It’s time for him to blush. “The Fashion Police weren’t such bad guys and with the help of Rachel they all agreed that it was all a misunderstanding.” Patrick elbows him in the ribs. Kyle continues, “And maybe the Fashion Police invited me to be part of their softball team and then maybe I mentioned my idea for a tuxedo that was not just hard to put on, but almost impossible.” Patrick butts in, “It’s a tuxedo that’s like an escape room, except you’re trying to escape into the tuxedo!” Patrick’s eyes are shining maniacally. “Ahem, anyway,” Patrick says, “our work here is about done.” Then gathering himself and pulling Jamie aside. “ But your work is just beginning,” he says softly, “How do you feel about ghosts?” That’s right! Busting makes us feel good, and by that I mean we like to bust up franchises that we haven’t quite finished for BMT. In this case we fairly recently watched Poltergeist II (crazy ending) and Poltergeist III (Ammmaaaazzziinnnggg) and that completed the original trilogy. But we still had one disastrous remake left. Poltergeist (2015). Let’s go!
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 3.6%; Notability: top 12.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 25.8%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fantastic Four, The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, The Gallows, The Boy Next Door, Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, Knock Knock, The Ridiculous 6; Higher Notability: Entourage, Jupiter Ascending, Pixels, Pan, Terminator Genisys, The Divergent Series: Insurgent, Point Break, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip, Fantastic Four, Blackhat, Mortdecai, The Last Witch Hunter, Child 44, The Wedding Ringer, Fifty Shades of Grey, Unfinished Business, Little Boy, Daddy’s Home, The Ridiculous 6, Victor Frankenstein, and 10 more; Lower RT: The Ridiculous 6, Freaks of Nature, Home Sweet Hell, Extraction, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, Rock the Kasbah, Survivor, Hot Pursuit, Hitman: Agent 47, Fantastic Four, Pay the Ghost, Unfinished Business, Point Break, Mortdecai, The Boy Next Door, Area 51, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, Return to Sender, Sinister 2, Regression, and 43 more; Notes: Out of the Higher BMeT we’ve seen all but three. And oh man … you remember Unfinished Business? My god. It was like the Waiting For Forever of its era. Remember Waiting For Forever?
RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Rarely has a remake felt more contractually obligated than the 2015 version of “Poltergeist.” There are a few decent performances, a nice riff on the technology fears that drove the original movie, and a centerpiece of horror that works, but never once do you get the feeling that the people behind this remake are here because of artistic passion or creative drive. They’re here because, well, somebody had to be here, so why not them? With remakes of “Nightmare on Elm Street,” “Friday the 13th,” “Evil Dead,” and more already on the books, “Poltergeist” is even arguably a bit late to the party. And they didn’t bring a gift.
(Sounds correct. What a wild time the early 2010s were with horror. I feel like we are in the same place today. They are trying to kick start big budget mainstream horror and something is tripping them up. Probably that real horror-heads expect things that are more extreme than what the mainstream is willing to handle. So you end up with Scream 6 or M3GAN as the big hits (i.e. borderline horror-comedy).)
(“We can’t call the cops, what are we going to tell them?” Uh, that your daughter is missing? Good to see Jared Harris though.)
Directors – Gil Kenan – ( Known For: Monster House; City of Ember; A Boy Called Christmas; Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire; BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: Holy shit, the director of Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire … that makes a lot of sense. Nominated for an Oscar for Monster House.)
Writers – David Lindsay-Abaire – ( Known For: Oz the Great and Powerful; Rise of the Guardians; Robots; Rabbit Hole; The Family Fang; Future BMT: Inkheart; BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: Frankly, the fact that they seemed to have gotten kids’ film writers and directors for this film is probably all you need to know about it. Apparently did a pass on Kung Fu Panda 4.)
Steven Spielberg – ( Known For: A.I. Artificial Intelligence; The Goonies; Close Encounters of the Third Kind; Poltergeist; What Lies Beneath; The Fabelmans; The Sugarland Express; Ace Eli and Rodger of the Skies; BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: The rest are just the people who wrote the original including Spielberg himself. At one point he was running all of WB’s cartoon division back in the day, trying to resurrect Looney Tunes and creating Roger Rabbit.)
Michael Grais and Mark Victor – ( Known For: Poltergeist; Death Hunt; Future BMT: Marked for Death; BMT: Poltergeist; Poltergeist II: The Other Side; Cool World; Notes: Cool World! They got credits on the video game which I now feel like I should play.)
Actors – Sam Rockwell – ( Known For: The Green Mile; Iron Man 2; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; Jojo Rabbit; Moon; Seven Psychopaths; Cowboys & Aliens; The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; Charlie’s Angels; The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford; Galaxy Quest; Vice; The Way Way Back; Matchstick Men; Frost/Nixon; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Richard Jewell; Confessions of a Dangerous Mind; Everybody’s Fine; See How They Run; Future BMT: The Sitter; G-Force; Strictly Business; BMT: Poltergeist; Argylle; Notes: Interesting career in that he really doesn’t seem like he is ever in bad films, and then we watch two in quick succession. Won an Oscar for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Nominated for another for Vice.)
Rosemarie DeWitt – ( Known For: La La Land; Cinderella Man; Rachel Getting Married; Kill the Messenger; The Company Men; Promised Land; The Professor; A Little Bit of Heaven; Your Sister’s Sister; Margaret; Sweet Virginia; Arizona; Digging for Fire; Nobody Walks; Afterschool; The Estate; Touchy Feely; Purple Violets; Tenure; The Great New Wonderful; Future BMT: The Watch; The Odd Life of Timothy Green; Men, Women & Children; BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: I don’t know why but she gives me heavy television energy, but really she’s only been in things like Unite States of Tara, but mostly does movies. It feels like she plays “mothers” a lot.)
Kennedi Clements – ( BMT: Poltergeist; Notes: She hasn’t been doing much, but probably is in school and junk.)
(Yeah, pretty bad. Always bad when the original makes a ton more than the remake 35 years later.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (40/136): Paying competent homage without adding anything of real value to the original Poltergeist, this remake proves just as ephemeral (but half as haunting) as its titular spirit.
(Sounds correct. Although I might challenge the concept that it was competent.)
Reviewer Highlight: [A] professionally executed yet bloodless film … an act of homage that hews reverently to its source material while missing the essential spirit and vitality that once powered it. – Andrew Barker, Variety
(Yeah, well… they all can’t be winners. I don’t like how dim this is. Also it takes the least scary part of the first film and puts it front and center. That clown was always ridiculous. C-.)
Tagline(s) – They know what scares you. (C)
(Cool. ‘They’re back’ would have sufficed. This is accurate and short. That’s what I got.)
Keyword(s) – 2015-2023
Top 10: Avengers: Endgame (2019), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Deadpool (2016), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015), Parasite (2019), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), The Martian (2015), Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021), The Revenant (2015)
Future BMT: 85.5 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 79.4 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 79.0 Black Christmas (2019), 76.4 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.7 The Grudge (2019), 73.7 The Turning (2020), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.7 Snatched (2017), 68.8 Norm of the North (2016), 68.3 Meet the Blacks (2016), 67.0 Max Steel (2016), 66.5 The Disappointments Room (2016), 66.3 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.9 Brahms: The Boy II (2020), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.9 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.2 Like a Boss (2020), 61.1 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 59.5 Jem and the Holograms (2015)
BMT: Cats (2019), The Emoji Movie (2017), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Slender Man (2018), Fantastic Four (2015), Holmes & Watson (2018), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Rings (2017), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Zoolander 2 (2016), The Gallows (2015), The Boy Next Door (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Poltergeist (2015), Fantasy Island (2020), The Exorcist: Believer (2023), Expend4bles (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Morbius (2022), After We Fell (2021), Moonfall (2022), Blacklight (2022), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Hot Pursuit (2015), The 5th Wave (2016), The Snowman (2017), Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), …
Best Options (2015): 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 68.6 Poltergeist (2015), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 61.1 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 59.5 Jem and the Holograms (2015), 58.0 The Lazarus Effect (2015), 57.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 56.0 Sinister 2 (2015), 53.2 Aloha (2015), 49.5 Blackhat (2015), 42.7 Pan (2015), 39.2 Rock the Kasbah (2015), 38.9 Masterminds (2015), 38.1 90 Minutes in Heaven (2015), 35.7 Love the Coopers (2015), 35.6 Victor Frankenstein (2015), 35.4 The Perfect Guy (2015), …
(Goddddddamn, Pan. We’ve seen Hot Tub Time Machine 2 actually … in theaters. Probably the worst decision we made at the time. Real dumb film and I don’t look forward to watching it again.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sam Rockwell is No. 1 billed in Poltergeist and No. 2 billed in Argylle, which also stars Henry Cavill (No. 5 billed) who is in Justice League (No. 2 billed) which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (5 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 18. If we were to watch G-Force we can get the HoE Number down to 15.
Notes – Rosemarie DeWitt wanted to do the film, after she experienced the engaged and lively audience reaction at the premiere of The Conjuring (2013), which she attended because it featured her husband Ron Livingston.
(at around 1h 26 mins) The bumper sticker on the Bowen vehicle during the last scene of the film says: Hooper High School. This is a direct reference to Tobe Hooper, who directed the 1982 original version.
In a Q&A, Saxon Sharbino admitted that she had never seen the original Poltergeist (1982) until filming was complete on this production.
The original cut ran for 101 minutes with 7-8 minutes of footage missing from the theatrical cut. This footage was released as a director’s cut on the DVD and Blu-ray release.
Parapsychologist/Anomalist Christopher Chacon, one of the world’s foremost authorities on “poltergeists”, was utilized by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/20th Century Fox studios as their official expert on the phenomenon to internationally publicize and promote the release of the movie.
You might be wondering why we are doing Men In Black: International. You might even be asking yourself “Did that movie actually come out? Wasn’t that just a spoof poster in 22 Jump Street?” It did come out and it wasn’t a spoof. It also fits right in on the vaguest of metathemes for the BMT theme year that we have embarked on. That is trying to clean up and collect as many franchises as we can. This is mostly horror franchises, but MIB certainly qualifies since we recently watched the borderline BMT of Men In Black II. Also, as unbelievable as this might sound, it actually is probably the best option available for the year 2019. It was a huge movie that was a huge failure. What else should we watch… Gemini Man? I think not.
To recap, the Men in Black are back, Jack! Kind of… but not really. As a girl, Molly had a close encounter with an alium and MIB and ever since has geared her life around getting recruited by MIB. Eventually she identifies the location of HQ and gets in the door. This is enough to earn her place. She is assigned to London, which is headed by High T and where superstar Agent H rules the roost (even though he appears to have lost his groove). While tagging along with H on a routine protection mission for a VIP, M finds herself attacked by amorphous twins that appear to originate from the Hive. Before the VIP is killed, he gives M a MacGuffin and says that no one can be trusted, including H. Back at HQ, H is demoted and other agents go off to find a connection between the twins and the Hive. M convinces H to join her in following a lead regarding the crystal. They travel to Morocco where hijinks ensue and a new friend, Pawny, is gained. Eventually they discover that the MacGuffin is a powerful weapon and Pawny steals it to give to H’s ex-GF, Riza. *Catches breath* They go to Riza’s compound to get the crystal back, but are caught and are only saved because the alium that M saw as a kid now works there (what a nice coincidence). They are then cornered by the twins, but are saved when High T swoops in. *Wipes brow* Everything seems to have been cleaned up, but H and M aren’t so sure. Eventually they begin to suspect High T himself and follow him to the Eiffel Tower. Turns out he was infected by the Hive the whole time. H, M, and Pawny join forces to kill him and save the day. THE END.
Jesus, that was actually far worse to recap than to watch. The movie itself isn’t the worst but it’s also not good. Clearly it was set up as a direct sequel to MIB 3 and was severely hampered by loss of the mainstay stars. Think about it. We have a superstar agent (that would be Will Smith, now spinning his wheels having lost his mojo). High T would be K, having finally ascended to the top of MIB. It would have produced a final ending to K’s storyline as it turns out that Smith has to sadly kill him to save the world. Everything would hit a little different and at the very least Will Smith would salvage some of the fun. I should also note that I had never seen MIB 3 until now and it was fun… the time travel didn’t make a lick of sense and I didn’t love the ending, but there is a lot of fun stuff in the middle and Brolin was great. In fact it would have been a fun twist for them to continue the series with him from the past (if Tommy Lee Jones wasn’t into it). Finally, the main event, After Everything. Hoooooooo doggy. This movie delivered… hard. Harden is learning to live and love again. We get a Portugal setting, some real gymnastics performed in pursuit of shoehorned sex scenes (Hardin dreams of having sex, remembers having sex, pretty much every way he could have sex without actually having sex… cause he’s meant for Tessa), and an amazing pronunciation of the word chocolate. Fortunately for Hardin, Tessa forgives him for writing about their personal life after he… writes about a different girl he had sex with. Airtight logic my man. I LOVE AFTER!
Hot Take Clam Bake! H knew about it the whole time. Come on sheeple. You are in the packers of Big H over here. You think superstar Agent H isn’t keyed in on his mentor being the Hive? He’s too busy partying and the Hive is letting him break all the rulez. So why stop the good times? Seems like the Hive is doing a decent job running MIB anyway. You ever think what the H in Agent H even stands for? That’s right, Agent Hive. He’s also the Hive, he knows High T is the Hive, and the Hive is actually doing just fine thank you very much. Hot Take Temperature: Laser Guns (or whatever they shoot).
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Are we talking pre-pandemic when you’d just make bad reboots when Will Smith turns you down? Let’s go!
I watched this film a little bit ago but like … what happened in it again? For real, this is a perfect example of what they shouldn’t have done with the franchise. Trying to spin it out into a vaguely funny action globetrotting spy franchise? No thanks. Give me the 21 Jump Street version everyday of the week instead.
It isn’t that the world building is any worse, it actually is a bit interesting. I do think there is a disconnect where it begs the question of “Wait … was there always an international organization backing the MIB? The New York Branch wasn’t the be all end all of the situation?” The answer I think must be no. They show that Europe was the center of a mass migration of aliens back during the World’s Fair. But that is dumb.
Is there a worse twist in the history of cinema than the only other famous person in this film being the bad guy? The instant Neeson walks on screen you are like “bad guy, has to be.” And it is.
And is there a worse McGuffin than a weapon that can destroy worlds that you can slip in your pocket and everyone wants? It doesn’t do anything interesting and it doesn’t even have a fun name. Stupid.
And is there a worse way to introduce the hero of the film than to just have her sneak into MIBHQ and be like “lol I found you guys.”?
And is there a wilder and weirder coincidence than the mid-film climactic fight being resolved by this same hero having saved the life of the bad guy’s head bodyguard 20 years prior and thus being owed a blood debt. WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
You see, so many dumb things wrong with the film. But I suppose it could all be explained by this actually having been written as a fourth film for Will Smith and them having to scramble to rewrite it into a requel on the fly. But like … then don’t make it?
A Twin Film (Who?), hooray! They are always so rare. A real deal Product Placement (What?) for Lexus, which might as well be a main character of the film. We got a little globe trotting film, so no real setting. This is almost an excellent MacGuffin (Why?) for the solar weapon that is the main subject of the film, but it needs a name like the Solarplex or something. And a really really Worst Twist (How?) for the inevitable reveal that Liam Neeson was the bad guy all along.
Oooo baby, you best belieb we watched After Everything alongside Men in Black: International. Now which is the better franchise … you know it is After Everything! I’d watch those forever. But sadly, I do think this is the last in the After series. We’ll have to hunt around for our new Wattpad original. In this one the bad boy with a heart of gold has his life in ruins as his one true love won’t talk to him and he’s got a serious case of writer’s block (and alcoholism). In order to get his mind right he needs a sunny holiday in Portugal to make amends with another girl he also had a bet about who he ruined the life of. In the end he writes another book about how he was an even bigger douche than you thought and then jets off to give the worst best man speech in history and get his girl Tessa back. Then she isn’t infertile and they have kids. The End. This movie is obviously an A+ I would watch a thousand of them. I am so sad they are over, and I can’t believe they made five of them and we watched them all for BMT / BMT adjacent. Robert Frost once said …
Oh man, get this. I know aliums exist. That much is obvious. So I strolled into Men in Black Inc. and they nueralized me! I think. I don’t remember. I actually don’t remember anything. Do you know what happened in Men in Black: International?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Our hero is working at a call center but really she wants to be working at Men in Black. How does she know about them?
2) She’s now a probationary officer! Hooray. And she finagles her way into what seems like a pretty sweet mission. What is it?
3) Well obviously they are going to be terminated. Neuralized likely … unless … what about a mole hunt!? Everyone loves a mole hunt. Who is the mole?
4) I feel like we might have a serious unnamed MacGuffin here. What does the … thing that Jarvis gave M and why do people seem to want it?
5) What wild fucking coincidence. While out and about meeting with Agent H’s old flame (an arms dealer) who does Agent C meet from her past?
Bonus Question: I was just finishing up Men in Black: International when my new agent Isaac calls me up. What does he want?
Plain Jane is back, Jack! Her new boo, Brad, is away on a big ski vacay with the boys for Xmas break. Holiday blues, anyone? Brain blitz! How about a working vacation for a solo girl on the move? Off she jets to Peru to research her new book: Holly Ween’s Llama Drama. On her way there she has a startling thought: ‘New country, new you.’ With that she dons her Holly Ween disguise and soon she’s the toast of first class. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the Plain Jane out the girl, apparently, as the first thing she does getting off the airplane is crash right into Alejandro. No one told her that her llama wrangler was going to be so darn tootin’ hot. There’s no crime against flirting is there? After a hijinks-filled tour of Peru, they arrive at their destination, Alejandro’s llama farm. It’s Xmas and Holly Ween and Alejandro soon find themselves under some mistletoe. Just as they are about to share a chaste smooch, Alejandro pulls back. Did he finally see the Plain Jane inside of her? With a pained look he decides to reveal his three darkest secrets. The first is that he actually hates llamas ever since his mother was killed while researching them in the Peruvian jungle. The second is that this wasn’t a chance job assignment. He made a bet with his guy pals that he could make anyone his girlfriend before Xmas and she was the lucky loser. Before she can storm off in disgust he reveals his third secret. He’s in love with her. Oh dear! Plain Jane’s in trouble this time.
“Wow,” Jamie says. Holly Ween’s love story went international… but his is standing right in front of him. That’s right! We are going international with a little Men in Black: International. The last of the MIB saga (people call it that, right?), this one made the mistake of a) not bringing back Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones and b) being terrible. Adding to the mix is our Bring a Friend, which is also ending a significant cultural touchstone. That’s right! After Everything, the concluding chapter of the After series. There were some claims that this had some theatrical release but not according to any reputable news source. Good enough for us. I love After! Let’s go!
Men in Black: International (2019) – BMeTric: 47.8; Notability: 70
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 8.8%; Notability: top 0.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.1%; Higher BMeT: Cats, Black Christmas, The Grudge, Secret Obsession, Escape Plan: The Extractors, IO, Trauma Center, The Fanatic, Hellboy, After, The Curse of La Llorona, The Silence, The Poison Rose, Tall Girl, Rim of the World, The Hustle, Primal, Polaroid, Playing with Fire, Serenity, and 2 more; Higher Notability: Dark Phoenix, Maleficent: Mistress of Evil; Lower RT: Polaroid, The Coldest Game, The Poison Rose, The Hustle, The Fanatic, Hellboy, After, Polar, Cats, The Grudge, Trauma Center, Serenity, Jexi, Miss Bala, Dark Phoenix; Notes: Wow … I kind of forgot this film came out so recently. Only five years ago? And I also forgot the second Maleficent film qualified. That’s wild. We saw some weird films that year, Hellboy? After? Serenity? Weird.
RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Most of what’s enjoyable about this sequel have been cribbed from other movies, like the star pairing from “Thor: Ragnarok,” the villains’ similarity to the Twins in “The Matrix Reloaded” and the many references to the original “Men in Black,” including the score and the basic character arcs of a rookie learning the ropes from a top agent. Without its stars’ chemistry, there’s little life left on this sequel planet besides surface-level jokes, too-cute aliens and a convoluted story.
(Makes sense for a spin-off especially in light of the third ultimately concluding the series in a reasonably satisfying manner. What’s left is to try and spin as far away from the series as one can … but then you have to ground it with the basic plot and soundscape and junk. Only way to do it.)
(Even our own agents … spoiler alert that isn’t the plot of this film. I mean, it is, but not in the way it is indicated with like a thousand agents all pointing guns at them. This trailer is soulless trash (in my opinion), hate the music.)
Directors – F. Gary Gray – ( Known For: The Italian Job; The Fate of the Furious; Straight Outta Compton; The Negotiator; Friday; Lift; Set It Off; Future BMT: Law Abiding Citizen; A Man Apart; BMT: Men in Black: International; Be Cool; Notes: He directed “Waterfalls” by TLC. So … like one of the best directors ever I suppose.)
Writers – Matt Holloway and Art Marcum – ( Known For: Iron Man; Future BMT: Uncharted; BMT: Transformers: The Last Knight; Men in Black: International; Punisher: War Zone; Notes: Oh snap, they are credited with Kraven the Hunter later this year. That could be exciting.)
Lowell Cunningham – ( Known For: Men in Black; Men in Black 3; BMT: Men in Black II; Men in Black: International; Notes: He’s the comic writer. I’m surprised the other writers of Men in Black didn’t get a credit.)
Actors – Chris Hemsworth – ( Known For: The Avengers; Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Thor; Thor: Ragnarok; Doctor Strange; Thor: The Dark World; Star Trek; Rush; The Cabin in the Woods; Thor: Love and Thunder; Snow White and the Huntsman; Extraction; Ghostbusters; Bad Times at the El Royale; In the Heart of the Sea; Extraction II; 12 Strong; A Perfect Getaway; Future BMT: Vacation; The Huntsman: Winter’s War; Blackhat; BMT: Men in Black: International; Red Dawn; Notes: Oh shoot, he’s Optimus Prime in the new animated Transformers film. That’s going to be dumb.)
Tessa Thompson – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Thor: Ragnarok; Thor: Love and Thunder; Annihilation; Creed; Creed II; The Marvels; Selma; Creed III; Sorry to Bother You; Between Two Ferns: The Movie; Dear White People; Lady and the Tramp; War on Everyone; Passing; Make It Happen; Sylvie’s Love; Little Woods; The Human Contract; Furlough; Future BMT: When a Stranger Calls; For Colored Girls; BMT: Men in Black: International; Notes: Wait they are making a Creed IV? This series is nuts. Nominated for an Emmy as a producer of the TV Movie Sylvie’s Love.)
Kumail Nanjiani – ( Known For: Eternals; Central Intelligence; The Big Sick; The Five-Year Engagement; The Kings of Summer; Stuber; The Lego Ninjago Movie; The Lovebirds; Hello, My Name Is Doris; Migration; The Late Bloomer; Hell Baby; Bad Milo; Hell and Back; Money Shot: The Pornhub Story; Duck Butter; Addicted to Fresno; Brother Nature; A Happening of Monumental Proportions; Flock of Dudes; Future BMT: Life as We Know It; Sex Tape; Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates; Hot Tub Time Machine 2; BMT: Men in Black: International; Dolittle; Fist Fight; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for writing The Big Sick. He’s in four movies this year, and seems like he comes in and punches them up because he’s quite funny it turns out.)
(That actually isn’t bad. I wonder if they’ll make another attempt eventually. The brand is probably due to a restart. I wonder in the wake of The Slap whether Will Smith could be convinced to reprise in a passing the torch sequel.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (74/320): Amiable yet forgettable, MiB International grinds its stars’ substantial chemistry through the gears of a franchise running low on reasons to continue.
(No! I don’t accept it. MIB3 shows just how easy it is to make random alien jokes work. The film is still fun and funny and feels like something that isn’t really made. That is a surprisingly low rating overall.)
Reviewer Highlight: Nearly everything here reminds you of something else, often better, cleverer, funnier. – Manohla Dargis, New York Times
(This smacks of them not really knowing what people want. You want the pug? You want the bug aliens? Spoiler Alert: those two things are barely in the film. Also this poster kind of hurts my eyes. The mixture of large white spaces and humans in general doesn’t work on posters. At least it looks like someone put some care into it though. C.)
Tagline(s) – The world’s not going to save itself (D+)
(This tagline is also not going to save itself. Is this supposed to be funny? Or is it merely meant to exist? I can’t tell.)
Keyword(s) – 2015-2023
Top 10: Avengers: Endgame (2019), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Deadpool (2016), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015), Parasite (2019), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), The Martian (2015), The Revenant (2015), Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Future BMT: 85.3 Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 79.4 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 78.9 Black Christmas (2019), 76.3 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.7 The Grudge (2019), 73.7 The Turning (2020), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.7 Snatched (2017), 68.7 Norm of the North (2016), 68.6 Poltergeist (2015), 68.3 Meet the Blacks (2016), 67.0 Max Steel (2016), 66.4 The Disappointments Room (2016), 66.3 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.8 Brahms: The Boy II (2020), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.8 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.2 Like a Boss (2020), 61.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015)
BMT: Cats (2019), The Emoji Movie (2017), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Slender Man (2018), Fantastic Four (2015), Holmes & Watson (2018), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Rings (2017), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Zoolander 2 (2016), The Gallows (2015), The Boy Next Door (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Fantasy Island (2020), The Exorcist: Believer (2023), Expend4bles (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), After We Fell (2021), Moonfall (2022), Blacklight (2022), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Morbius (2022), Hot Pursuit (2015), The 5th Wave (2016), The Snowman (2017), Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), …
Best Options (franchise): 79.4 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 78.9 Black Christmas (2019), 76.3 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.7 The Grudge (2019), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 66.3 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 62.8 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 59.8 Spiral (2021), 57.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 52.3 Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (2017), 50.7 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016), 48.4 Insidious: The Red Door (2023), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 45.4 God’s Not Dead: A Light in Darkness (2018), 44.1 Allegiant (2016), 43.6 A Madea Family Funeral (2019), 43.4 Jigsaw (2017), 43.2 Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), 42.9 Ice Age: Collision Course (2016), 42.8 Insidious: The Last Key (2018), 42.2 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023), 39.4 Pitch Perfect 3 (2017), 30.4 Vacation (2015), 27.8 The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015), 27.6 Inferno (2016), 19.4 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018), 17.1 Venom (2018), 16.1 Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You! (2017)
(Kind of mid table, but it felt like an opportunity to finish off a franchise we just recently visited with the second film. I wonder when we are going to deal with God’s Not Dead.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Chris Hemsworth is No. 1 billed in Men in Black: International and No. 1 billed in Red Dawn, which also stars Josh Hutcherson (No. 3 billed) who is in Five Nights at Freddy’s (No. 1 billed) which also stars Matthew Lillard (No. 4 billed) who is in Wicker Park (No. 3 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (4 + 3) + (1 + 3) = 17. If we were to watch The Huntsman: Winter’s War we can get the HoE Number down to 14.
Notes – Frank the Pug (voiced by Tim Blaney) and the Worm Guys (voiced by Thom Fountain) are the only characters from Men in Black (1997) and Men in Black II (2002) to also physically appear in this one. Although they have a prominent place on the movie’s poster, these characters have less than a minute of screentime.
The MiB Agents have been wearing the same standard issue Hamilton Ventura watch since the beginning. The iconic Ventura watch was first released in 1957.
There is a secret apartment at the top of the Eiffel Tower where Gustave Eiffel entertained famous guests like Thomas Edison.
Tessa Thompson loves the character of Pawny and knew that Kumail Nanjiani would be perfect for the role. Although his character is all CGI, Nanjiani flew out to London so he could read with Thompson and Chris Hemsworth in person, making the character interactions feel more dynamic.
Sir Paul Smith, who helped design the suits for the MiB Agents in this movie, appears as the typewriter repairman at the secret entrance to London’s MiB Headquarters.
Buckle up. Madame Web came. Madame Web saw. Madame Web conquered. It’s the classic example of a film where me and Patrick look at each other and said, “If this doesn’t qualify for BMT then we should just pack it in.” Never a doubt, my friends. BMT continues for another day. It saw all the fun that people were having at its expense and essentially was like “oh yeah, well it’s even crazier than you thought it would be.” People complained that the funny line in the trailer wasn’t in the film. You know why? Because even funnier lines were ADR’d into the film in its place. This. Movie. Rocked.
To recap, Cassandra Webb is an EMT in NYC having come up through the foster system after her mother was killed in the rainforests of Peru while researching spiders whose bite can give people special powers. After experiencing a near death experience she starts to see the future. Meanwhile, her mother’s murderer, Ezekial Sims, having used the spiders to give himself powers, begins a hunt for three girls, Julia, Anya, and Mattie, who he can see eventually lead to his death. Cassie starts to get a handle on her powers after seeing one of her friends die and not being able to do anything about it. On the way to his funeral she has a flash that shows the three girls being killed by Ezekial. She gathers them up and goes on the run, inadvertently being mistaken for their kidnappers. She hides them away in the forest. While she goes to gather supplies, they get themselves in trouble and are nearly killed by Ezekial. Realizing that she needs help, Cassie leaves them with her friend Ben Parker and heads to Peru where she meets up with the spider people that helped save her when her mother was killed. They tell her all kinds of spider mumbo jumbo just in time for her to return and realize the girls are in trouble. She swoops in and saves them and then heads to a firework factory for the big… fireworks. Ezekiel follows and they fight a bunch. They realize that Cassie can change the future and was always meant to kill Ezekial and she drops a delicious Pepsi sign on his head. She’s injured in the blast, though, and is left blind and in a wheelchair. Oh, did I say she’s left blind and in a wheelchair? I mean that she was left in a rad futuristic wheelchair sporting the dopest sunglasses this side of New York City. THE END (or is it? IT IS))
Did I mention that this movie rocked? It ironically rocked to the extreme. I felt bad for a second because there were some little kids in the theater that seemed to be enjoying themselves unironically (irony only develops later in life) and I had to stifle my laughter for the last, oh, thirty minutes of the film. The climax is nuts with the giant Pepsi sign and the serious (?) setting at a literal fireworks factory. But when she shows up in a high tech wheelchair and some crispy dope futuristic sunglasses circa Demolition Man I was actually laughing out loud. They must have at least been a little in on the joke at that point, right? Dakota Johnson had to have taken one glance at those sunglasses and thought, “oh shit, I guess I’m in this kind of movie. No amount of ADR and CGI can save me from those sunglasses.” This is all without mentioning the craziest part of the entire film: almost every single line the bad guy said was ADR’d. It’s like Val Kilmer in The Snowman level of craziness. This. Movie. Rocked.
Hot Take Clam Bake! I’m willing to say it… I don’t think she’s blind at the end. I also think she can walk. She is a super spider woman. She survived death without a scratch earlier in the film. We are meant to believe that suddenly spider powers mean nothing? Spiderman can be thrown around like a ragdoll and is fine and Cassie gets some sparklers in her eyes and she’s donzo? I don’t think so. She just wanted to cruise around in that wheelchair and rock those sunglasses. Who wouldn’t? She sits around all day with a trio of babes bringing her chinese food and saying “your sunglasses are so cool,” (presumably). Sign me up. Hot Take Temperature: Fireworks.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about my mother studying spiders in the Amazon right before she died?! Let’s go!
Oooooooooooooooooh hell yeah. Like Argylle? Whatever. A weird film. Good to get a Vaughn in since he genuinely seems like one of the weirder “Blank Check” directors around at the moment. But this? This is glorious. This might as well be Cats it is such a bizarre strange delight. Great to see it in theaters live.
People attempt to deny it, but I feel like there is something undeniably intriguing about Dakota Johnson as an actress … I don’t know what it is. But the almost deadpan delivery, and amusing detachment, it is hard to describe, but it just comes across as kind of cool and elevating. It is no exception here. She is one of the only bright spots of the film I feel like.
The second is Sydney Sweeney who is the best actress of the three young ladies in the film, and kind of for the same reason. Like … there is something that shouldn’t work with how she delivers lines. But it works in almost everything I’ve seen her in.
The bad guy … woooooooooof. They ADRed everything and it was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. I’m sure it was just because of some weird reason where they didn’t like his strange Peruvian accent he was affecting or something. It was weird.
Great use of Toxic by Brittany though.
And the ending at a literal fireworks factory was also a faintly amusing touch.
And of course we get to see baby Spiderman and secret Uncle Ben as well.
And then the film ends with her in a wheelchair with no joke the craziest pair of sunglasses I’ve ever seen. YOU HAVE TO SEE THESE FUCKING SUNGLASSES!!
What a very strange but very entertaining and weird film. What a great addition to the annals of BMT. Dare I suggest … a Hall of Fame film?
I do love the several instances of Product Placement (What?) involving Pepsi including at the (real life) giant Pepsi sign in Queens (apparently). And obviously a hilarious Worst Twist (How?) on the reveal that Madame Web owns a hilarious pair of sunglasses. Wait, that isn’t it, it was that the Ben we knew and loved throughout the film was indeed THAT Uncle Ben. This movie is BMT through and through, it is great.
Read about the sequel that will never be made in the Quiz, Cheerios,
Bad Movie Twins 