cycle: Belle Epoque Movies – Page 3

Cursed Preview

Spending their days rebuilding Pierre’s premier perfume shop didn’t sound so bad to Patrick, Jamie and Kyle. It wasn’t until they had already scoped out a farmhouse to rent in a nearby winery that they were informed that they weren’t rebuilding the Perfume shop at all. “Where do you think I got all that wild hog musk?” Pierre says, pointing them to his premier hog farm that stood just down the block. “This is probably not going to help my scent,” Jamie says. “Unless…” he continues, but Patrick stops him. No, there was no “unless…” to that statement. A week later, as they muck out pen #3, Pierre enters the farm and slaps Jamie on the back. “You guys are doing a great job. I just can’t believe the latest standings!” He slaps his hand at the newsletter he’s holding. “What’s that?” Patrick asks, curious now at what ‘standings’ Pierre could be talking about. “The hog standings, of course,” Pierre says incredulously. “We’re all the way up to #2! I’ve never been able to get even up to #5 when it was just me mucking out all these pens and extracting the gallons of wild hog musk.” Now the competitive juices are flowing. Jamie, Patrick and Kyle start to chatter about getting all the way up to #1 in the standings. “No, no, no,” Pierre says, looking worried. “We don’t want to get up to #1. Being second is a perfect place to be, so let’s just stay right there.” Second place?! Jamie and Patrick stare at him in disbelief. Did Pierre really think they were second place kind of hog farmers? “No, I don’t think you are second place kind of hog farmers,” he reassures them, “it’s just that first place in the hog standings is… cursed.” *Gasp* That’s right! We are watching Cursed by Wes Craven. This is his take on the werewolf genre and unfortunately I don’t think Taylor Lautner was able to participate. Let’s go!

Cursed (2005) – BMeTric: 62.3; Notability: 71

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 7.2%; Notability: top 5.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 13.5%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, The Fog, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, A Sound of Thunder, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Are We There Yet?, In the Mix, The Dukes of Hazzard, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, The Honeymooners, Dirty Love; Higher Notability: Kingdom of Heaven, Fantastic Four, Be Cool, Domino, Fun with Dick and Jane, Bewitched, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, Son of the Mask, The Great Raid, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Yours, Mine & Ours, Son of the Mask, Underclassman, A Sound of Thunder, The Perfect Man, Dirty Love, White Noise, Dirty Deeds, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Man of the House, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Æon Flux, Elektra, Edison, The Mistress of Spices, Are We There Yet?, and 13 more; Notes: We are even on the higher BMeT films (seen 9 and haven’t seen 9), but at least one is coming up. Kingdom of Heaven is an exciting possibility. I should say … the Notability on this is off the chain. I don’t get it. It is nuts.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – Contemporary werewolf-on-the-loose story is a rare miss in the thrills department from the SCREAM team of Craven and writer Kevin Williamson. Film starts out amusing but soon becomes ludicrous as the nubile young victims must fight back to become human again. Already dated picture is set at the now-defunct Craig Kilborn talk show, where Ricci is a producer spending what seems like days prepping an interview with Scott Baio. It’s that kind of movie, folks.

(Hahahahha, it is true though. Kilborn shows up and embarasses himself, and the Baio shit was also hilarious. The only thing I wish was Baio was either torn to shreds by the werewolf, or randomly was the werewolf in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e56-jMfL9I/

(I can tell you that early scene where the wolf grabs the woman out of the car looks about as good in the actual film … which is to say like garbage. This film looks perfectly 2005 and that ain’t a compliment. The CGI dog is awful.)

Directors – Wes Craven – ( Known For: Scream; A Nightmare on Elm Street; Scream 2; Scream 4; Scream 3; Red Eye; Paris, I Love You; New Nightmare; The Last House on the Left; The People Under the Stairs; The Hills Have Eyes; The Serpent and the Rainbow; Swamp Thing; Music of the Heart; The Hills Have Eyes Part II; Deadly Blessing; Future BMT: My Soul to Take; Shocker; BMT: Cursed; Vampire in Brooklyn; Deadly Friend; Notes: Died in 2015, but still racking up those credits. His performance in New Nightmare is b-b-b-b-b-b-bonkers.)

Writers – Kevin Williamson – ( Known For: Scream; Scream 2; Scream 4; Scream 3; Scream; The Faculty; Scream VI; Sick; Future BMT: Teaching Mrs. Tingle; BMT: I Know What You Did Last Summer; Cursed; Notes: Kind of legendary as far as horror writers. The Faculty? How didn’t that qualify? It is hilarious.)

Actors – Christina Ricci – ( Known For: Sleepy Hollow; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; The Matrix Resurrections; The Addams Family; Monster; Casper; Addams Family Values; Small Soldiers; Speed Racer; Black Snake Moan; Penelope; Buffalo ’66; The Ice Storm; New York, I Love You; After.Life; Mermaids; Anything Else; The Hard Way; The Opposite of Sex; Bel Ami; Future BMT: The Smurfs 2; 200 Cigarettes; That Darn Cat; BMT: Cursed; Now and Then; Bless the Child; Alpha and Omega; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for Yellowjackets and Grey’s Anatomy. A true blue child star from my childhood. The Addams Family and Caspar in particular.)

Jesse Eisenberg – ( Known For: The Social Network; Now You See Me; Zombieland; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Village; Rio; Zombieland: Double Tap; Adventureland; 30 Minutes or Less; Rio 2; American Ultra; To Rome with Love; The Squid and the Whale; Café Society; Vivarium; The Double; The Art of Self-Defense; The End of the Tour; The Hunting Party; Roger Dodger; Future BMT: Now You See Me 2; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Justice League; Cursed; Notes: Remember Roger Dodger? What a weird film. Nominated for an Oscar for The Social Network, and his directorial effort in A Real Pain is getting tons of buzz.)

Portia de Rossi – ( Known For: Scream 2; Sirens; Dead & Breakfast; Who Is Cletis Tout?; Tab Hunter Confidential; Girl; I Witness; Unity; All the Way; Now Add Honey; Future BMT: Stigmata; BMT: Cursed; Notes: Known for Arrested Development and for being married to Ellen. Also she’s like … barely in this film, so wild she’s the third person listed on IMDb.)

Budget/Gross – $38,000,000 / Domestic: $19,297,522 (Worldwide: $29,621,722)

(That’s not great. Seems like a catastrophic production probably pushed the budget too high, and on a more normal horror budget maybe this works out okay.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 15% (15/98): A predictable plot and cheesy special effects make Cursed a less-than-scary experience.

(Cheesy special effect?! Well … fine, yeah, the first bit with the werewolf is real dumb looking and there are some real crazy effects in the big fight scene in the middle, and the dog looks bad … fine yeah, the special effects suck.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s not bad enough to make you curse, but you are likely to laugh when you should scream, and to roll your eyes when you are meant to laugh. – A.O. Scott, New York Times

Poster – Fred Durst’s Cursed

(I think this is fine. Nicely stylized with a twist on the font. I don’t know why, but it comes off a little boring to me even when it’s doing a lot of the things I like. B+.)

Tagline(s) – What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. (F)

(Wow. No. That is simply a common phrase and is completely unacceptable.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

Top 10: The Matrix Revolutions (2003), The Butterfly Effect (2004), The Da Vinci Code (2006), The Fast and the Furious (2001), Men in Black II (2002), Man on Fire (2004), Click (2006), Pearl Harbor (2001), Fantastic Four (2005), Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Future BMT: 93.5 Date Movie (2006), 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.8 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.3 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.6 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 71.1 Soul Plane (2004), 70.6 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 70.3 Delta Farce (2007), 69.3 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Taxi (2004), Elektra (2005), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), …

Best Options (Horror): 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 69.0 Black Christmas (2006), 68.7 Captivity (2007), 67.5 Seed of Chucky (2004), 64.8 The Grudge 2 (2006), 63.9 Valentine (2001), 63.6 Skinwalkers (2006), 63.0 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 62.3 Cursed (2005), 62.1 Stay Alive (2006), 61.5 When a Stranger Calls (2006), 60.8 See No Evil (2006), 60.3 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 58.8 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 58.4 The Return (2005), 57.9 They (2002), 56.6 The Stepford Wives (2004), 55.2 Lost Souls (2000), 54.2 The Messengers (2007), 53.9 The Order (2003), 50.9 Turistas (2006), …

(Pretty pretty pretty good. I really don’t want to watch BloodRayne, although I know it will happen. Ha! Skinwalkers. Another werewolf film was right there too.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jesse Eisenberg is No. 2 billed in Cursed and No. 3 billed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – In 2014, Judy Greer spoke of the film in an interview. Greer states, “I don’t know why that movie got so fucked up. I don’t understand it. I thought the script was fine. Honest to God, I didn’t get the big deal. I don’t know who kept making them fuck with it”. She goes on to say, “Then we shot the movie for, like, seven years. I think they said we had four movies worth of footage. It was so fun, but so weird. I don’t get it. I couldn’t figure it out.”

When the production was stalled, many cast members were cut, including Illeana Douglas, Heather Langenkamp, Scott Foley, Omar Epps, Robert Forster, James Brolin and Corey Feldman. All of these actors even filmed their scenes which were cut when the movie was re-written and re-shot.

In the original version, the film opened with the benefit party by PETA on the hotel roof. Parts of the scene were kept from the original shooting but in the final cut, that scene is at about 50 minutes from the beginning. Mya replaced Mandy Moore in this scene.

In 2008, Wes Craven was quoted saying; “… the Cursed experience was so screwed up. I mean, that went on for two-and-a-half years of my life for a film that wasn’t anything close to what it should have been. And another film that I was about to shoot having the plug pulled – Pulse – so it was like, I did learn from the Cursed experience not to do something for money. They said, ‘We know you want to do another film, we’ll pay you double.’ And we were 10 days from shooting, and I said fine. But I ended up working two-and-a-half years for double my fee, but I could have done two-and-a-half movies, and done movies that were out there making money. In general, I think it’s not worth it and part of the reason my phone hasn’t rung is that that story is pretty well known.

The original plot line had three strangers brought together by a car accident in the Hollywood Hills and the subsequent attack of a werewolf. The three characters were named Ellie Hudson (Christina Ricci), Vince Winston (Skeet Ulrich) and Jimmy Myers (Jesse Eisenberg). When the script was re-written, the plot changed and focused on two estranged siblings who had to fight a curse after a werewolf attack. Skeet Ulrich’s character was totally re-written and renamed Jake. Since Ellie and Jimmy became brother and sister, Ellie’s surname was deleted and became Myers.

Collateral Damage Recap

Jamie

Cooooohh-llateral. I can’t help but say it that way in my head whenever I think about this movie (which is often). The reason is a bit funny. One of our brothers was in college and we were talking with him on the phone and he said that he was going to do a double feature at the movies (maybe it was bad weather… or maybe he was hungover… or maybe none of this memory is accurate). As I recall he was rubbing his hands together contemplating the beauty of a Rollerball-Collateral Damage back-to-back-jack afternoon. Anyway, when he described this delectable treat he continually extended the Coooooooohh in Collateral Damage. Again, I can’t recall how accurate this might be. But does it matter? Fake, real, it all ends in Cooooohhhhhhh-llateral.

To recap, Gordy is a firefighter just loving life and loving his family. Nothing could go wrong in his perfect life, right? Wrong. That’s because El Lobo (The Wolf for all those that don’t habla espanol) strikes LA and Gordy’s wife and child are caught in the blast (eeesh). The police are like “cool it” but Gordy will not cool it. He’s not cool AT ALL and travels to Colombia to get El Lobo. A CIA agent, Brandt, is also not cool AT ALL and before the government can pull operations he sets up a big raid to try to take down El Lobo as well. When Gordy arrives in Colombia he is immediately arrested like a dope, but not before saving a little boy from an accident. I’m sure that won’t be relevant. He is then able to escape prison and uses a fellow prisoner to get a fake work pass for one of El Lobo’s facilities. He goes there, rigs up a bunch of bombs, and blows it sky high. Unfortunately he is captured and it looks like he’s going to be killed until the mother of the kid he saved stops El Lobo from killing him (wow, how convenient). He is held prisoner by the group, but when Brandt stages a raid on the compound he is able to escape with the woman and the child. They all travel back to the US to try to stop the next attack on DC. The woman helps them track the terrorists and foil the plan, but in the process Gordy realizes it’s all a ruse and foils the real plan. He goes after the woman who turns out to be the real El Lobo (what a twist!) and a battle ensues. After some sweet ax combat and explosions and shit Gordy, who is honestly built like Mr. Universe or something, is able to foil the last plan (I promise). Ultimately everyone is pretty happy that Gordy saved the day and they reward him with custody of that small child he’s been toting across the globe. THE END.

There is always a temptation to be like “boy they should go back to how things were done in the 90’s and make good action flicks again.” The argument has merit, but sometimes you gotta check yourself before you wreck yourself. Sometimes when you do that you end up making Collateral Damage which should be titled Collateral Boring, am I right? For all the explosions and junk the whole venture is quite dull. I’m really not even sure what would zazz it up a bit… maybe Rob Schneider? It’s difficult to say. Probably they just needed someone younger and hungrier to take on the script. When an action star ages, there is the temptation to go full contemplative. That they hate the violence and the life that their big muscles have forced them into. They mumble about how sad it all is that they have to shoot and punch all these people. Sly Stallone does this contemplative turn the best in things like Get Carter, but we have it here too with Arnold. You know what? I think a really bonkers bad guy would have done this wonders. That’s my solution. Because I just wasn’t that entertained.

Hot Take Clam Bake! I’m going to say it… Gordy would simply not be awarded that child in the end. That is a small child who has been brought from Colombia. He is a Colombian citizen. You don’t get custody of a kid by calling dibs. Also, Gordy just demonstrated some crazy risky behavior. I’m not sure throwing everything away to accomplish several extrajudicial bombings on foreign soil demonstrates the stable and nurturing atmosphere that this child needs. ALSO, this is the child of the people responsible for killing his wife and kid… no one seeing an issue with that? We’re all cool with that home situation? Hot Take Temperature: Exploding Toy Dinosaur.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Hmmm Extreme Damage? Nah … Explosive Damage? Naw … Collateral Damage?! That’s it. Let’s go!

Top line: In a way this is an okay movie stuck in the wrong time. The bad guy espousing the inability for the American people to understand the struggle of a people in the context of a global struggle to survive … released a year after 9/11. This is entirely by accident, but does come across as completely tone deaf.

What I remember about this film from the time it came out was that it was the last major Arnold release of the time. He would become Governor of California the next year and his career would be on hiatus during that time (obviously). I also remember the trailer and making fun of it because it seemed very silly … but then I also remember being excited for a new Arnold film as a teenager and then it came out and sucked and bombed. So there we go.

Arnold is his usual self with barely any acting chops, but somehow the film comes across as dour and he is a sad dad Arnold dad and ends up lacking his usual charm.

The twist at the end is pretty nutso. They inexplicably bring the wife of the terrorist to the U.S. where it turns out she is the actual mastermind and has infiltrated the counter terrorism headquarters and almost blows everyone to smithereens? That would be one boneheaded move by Arnold if he hadn’t also saved the day.

Bottom line: This movie mostly sucks. The action sucks, the acting sucks, and the premise sucks … and yet. For mindless action it is pretty hard to screw things up so badly you don’t at least appreciate the beginning and ending set pieces. If only they could have figured out something to do in the middle …

And no, wandering around Colombia shopping for Colombian orphans doesn’t count. And I know he wasn’t an orphan … yet. He was once Arnold killed his ‘rents though. Problem solved.

A solid South American Setting as a Character (Where?) for the dystopian vision of Colombia. I don’t think I’ll throw a MacGuffin in for the generic revenge angle at all. But definitely a Worst Twist (How?) for the reveal that Selena is in on it and trying to blow up the State Department. I think this movie is Bad in the end, I don’t think I would recommend it as an action film and it isn’t entertaining enough as an action film or an Arnold film to work.

I’ll leave it short. Check out the television spin off series in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Collateral Damage Quiz

Oh man, so get this. I was meeting my wife and child in a cafe when BOOM there was a totally big explosion. Lucky for me my wife hates my guts, so they blew me off anyways and is totally safe and sound. Unlucky for me, the blast gave me an absolutely massive concussion, and I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Collateral Damage?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) When Gordon Brewer goes to see his wife and child at a restaurant he meets El Lobo face-to-face. What disguise is El Lobo wearing?

2) Well, now Gordon really needs to get at El Lobo, who has killed his fambly. Where is El Lobo, what country?

3) Once Gordon gets there though he is immediately captured. He talked with Sean Armstrong, a Canadian national who works among the rebels. Gordon convinces Sean to give him a work permit so he can go behind enemy lines acting as a what?

4) Once back in the States Gordon is helping the CIA and FBI to foil the next major attack by El Lobo. Where do they think he is going to attack, and where is he going to attack really?

5) What form does the bomb intended to blow up the target take?

Bonus Question: Just as I’m leaving the showing of Collateral Damage I get a frantic phone call from my agent. What does he want?

Answers

Collateral Damage Preview

Lesson #3 is pretty simple as far as Patrick is concerned: there’s nothing that a nice cologne can’t mask, including the stench left over from their comments about Scott Bakula’s funeral mishap. So where better to start than his favorite cologne shop in grand Paris. He greets the owner, Pierre, warmly and asks what big time celeb he might have made smell great recently. “A perfumer never sprays and brays,” he says and Patrick smiles, secretly stewing that he didn’t come up with that himself. “So this is the man of the hour,” Pierre continues, looking at Jamie. “I feel like I have just the scent for…” but before he can finish something has caught Jamie’s eye. “Ooo, this one is Wild Hog Musk,” Jamie says, bending down to read the label closer, “guaranteed to bring the wild hogs running.” He notes to Patrick how funny it is that “wild hogs” isn’t capitalized in the tagline, but if he gets to smell like Tim Allen then sign him up. Pierre’s eyes widen as he realizes the common and understandable mistake that Jamie has made. Before he can stop him, though, the damage is done… literally. With one whiff of the wild hog musk the store is soon overrun with horrifyingly large hogs, all of which have only one thing on their mind: Jamie’s bodacious bod and its lovely hoggy musk. Hours later, after fending off the last of the hogs, Pierre looks around his store sadly. “This is, of course, the risk you take carrying such things in the store,” he says, “the collateral damage for me is my store. For you, though, it’s just your time,” and with that he taps a sign that explains that any musk mistakes must be paid back in time spent working for Pierre. That’s right! The collateral damage of watching Collateral Damage starring Arnold Schwarzeneggar is also just our time. Sigh. Let’s go!

Collateral Damage (2002) – BMeTric: 50.1; Notability: 73

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 11.2%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.9%; Higher BMeT: Crossroads, Halloween: Resurrection, Rollerball, The Master of Disguise, Feardotcom, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Half Past Dead, Boat Trip, Derailed, The Sweetest Thing, Scooby-Doo, They, Full Frontal, The Truth About Charlie, Queen of the Damned, Vampires: Los Muertos, Swimfan, Snow Dogs, Maid in Manhattan, and 8 more; Higher Notability: Men in Black II, Scooby-Doo, The Time Machine, Star Trek: Nemesis; Lower RT: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Killing Me Softly, Derailed, Try Seventeen, Hard Cash, The Master of Disguise, Deuces Wild, Feardotcom, Rollerball, Half Past Dead, Serving Sara, Darkness, New Best Friend, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Boat Trip, The New Guy, Dragonfly, Stealing Harvard, Juwanna Mann, Halloween: Resurrection, and 19 more; Notes: I love that gaudy Notability. We still have three of those to go. Then 11/20 for BMeT, although the top 8 we’ve done. What is that, like 50 films with sub-20% in 2002. Sigh.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – “Collateral Damage” is a relic from an earlier (if not kinder and gentler) time, a movie about terrorism made before terrorists became the subject of our national discourse. “You Americans are so naive,” says the movie’s terrorist villain. “You see a peasant with a gun, you change the channel. But you never ask why a peasant needs a gun.” Well, we still don’t wonder why the peasant needs the gun (we think we should have the gun), but we’re not so naive anymore.

(Interesting. Quite a high rating for what is kind of the movie that marked the end of Arnold’s action career. And yeah, the proximity to 9/11 was a very specific issue with this film.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YywOMlbqLPo/

(Looks pretty rad if I’m being honest … unfortunately I don’t think this trailer is being entirely honest. It makes it seems like he’s going to go and chase down this guy and blow up and village and junk and kill him. WRONG. That isn’t the plot of this film. The plot of this film is unfortunately more boring. This trailer is pretty good though, I would watch that movie if it existed.)

Directors – Andrew Davis – ( Known For: The Fugitive; Holes; Under Siege; A Perfect Murder; Above the Law; The Package; Code of Silence; The Final Terror; Stony Island; Future BMT: Chain Reaction; Steal Big Steal Little; BMT: The Guardian; Collateral Damage; Notes: He has two upcoming projects … something tells me that given his last film was 2006 that is incorrect. Wrote a little movie called Steal Big Steal Little featuring Andy Garcia playing twin brothers.)

Writers – Ronald Roose – ( Known For: The Hessen Conspiracy; BMT: Collateral Damage; Notes: Do yourself a favor and go look at the poster for The Hessen Conspiracy. Just … one word: Billy Zane.)

David Griffiths – ( Known For: The Portrait; Future BMT: The Hunted; BMT: Collateral Damage; Notes: He was a VP at Goldman Sachs and was a founder of a software company. It seems that he then went back to UCLA with his brother to become a screenwriter.)

Peter Griffiths – ( Future BMT: The Hunted; BMT: Collateral Damage; Notes: I think he retired because David now writes by himself.)

Actors – Arnold Schwarzenegger – ( Known For: Terminator 2: Judgment Day; The Terminator; Predator; Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines; The Expendables; Total Recall; The Expendables 2; True Lies; Escape Plan; Terminator: Dark Fate; Commando; The Running Man; Last Action Hero; Kindergarten Cop; Conan the Barbarian; The Last Stand; The Rundown; Twins; The 6th Day; Red Heat; Future BMT: Terminator Genisys; End of Days; Junior; BMT: Batman & Robin; The Expendables 3; Eraser; Jingle All the Way; Around the World in 80 Days; Conan the Destroyer; Collateral Damage; Sabotage; Red Sonja; Raw Deal; Notes: Won an Emmy for producing a documentary. Was governor of California from 2004 to 2011. This is our 10th Arnold film, only three more to go as well.)

John Leguizamo – ( Known For: John Wick; Ice Age; John Wick: Chapter 2; The Menu; Die Hard 2; Moulin Rouge!; Ice Age: The Meltdown; Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs; Encanto; The Lincoln Lawyer; Romeo + Juliet; Carlito’s Way; Chef; Doctor Dolittle; Land of the Dead; Violent Night; American Ultra; Assault on Precinct 13; The Infiltrator; Sisters; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Ice Age: Continental Drift; The Counselor; Ice Age: Collision Course; Spawn; The Fan; Out for Justice; Love in the Time of Cholera; Revenge; Miracle at St. Anna; What’s the Worst That Could Happen?; Playing with Fire; Walking with Dinosaurs 3D; The Pest; Empire; The Honeymooners; Whispers in the Dark; BMT: The Happening; Gamer; Ride Along; Repo Men; Righteous Kill; Collateral Damage; Super Mario Bros.; One for the Money; Notes: Leguizamo has been in 25 BMT films, my god. Won an Emmy for a comedy special, and nominated twice for supporting acting. I didn’t realize he was Bruno in Encanto, that’s interesting.)

Francesca Neri – ( Known For: Live Flesh; Captain America; The Ages of Lulu; The Rich, the Pauper and the Butler; Pensavo fosse amore… invece era un calesse; Una famiglia perfetta; Giovanna’s Father; Outrage; Al lupo al lupo; Ginostra; Sud; Flight of the Innocent; A Dinner for Them to Meet; Il siero della vanità; A Second Childhood; Il cielo è sempre più blu; Io amo Andrea; Ivo il tardivo; La mia generazione; La felicità non costa niente; Future BMT: Hannibal; BMT: Collateral Damage; Notes: Italian and indeed, she mostly has acted in Italy, even after breaking into American films … oh and yeah, that Captain America is the shit one from 1990.)

Budget/Gross – $85,000,000 / Domestic: $40,077,257 (Worldwide: $78,382,433)

(That … yeah, that’s terrible, but it isn’t really totally its fault. I was supposed to come out on like literally 9/11, so it was pushed to 2002 and I don’t think people had the appetite for it at that point.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (27/142): Despite its timely subject matter, Collateral Damage is an unexceptional and formulaic action thriller.

(Timely was kind of the problem lol. People didn’t want to fret over whether Arnold was going to stop the terrorists from [checks notes] … blowing up a building. Great.)

Reviewer Highlight: An exhausted rehash of Mr. Schwarzenegger breaking through red tape to struggle against his nemesis of the moment. – Elvis Mitchell, New York Times

Poster – Cooooooohhhhhllateral

(a.k.a. Explosion Face. The only thing I can really say that is good about this is that it’s got a warm glow to it because of all the fire on the poster… just so much fire. That font makes me sad. C-)

Tagline(s) – Nothing is more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose (D)

(Is it over yet? That’s boring. That’s long. That’s boring and long. Think to yourself just how many movies that could be the tagline for.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Taxi (2004), Elektra (2005), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), …

Best Options (Action): 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 70.3 Delta Farce (2007), 68.9 Crossover (2006), 67.6 Thunderbirds (2004), 65.7 Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004), 63.8 Underdog (2007), 63.6 Skinwalkers (2006), 60.8 See No Evil (2006), 60.8 The Mod Squad (1999), 60.3 Biker Boyz (2003), 59.8 Agent Cody Banks (2003), 50.9 The Core (2003), 50.4 The Last Legion (2007), 50.1 Collateral Damage (2002), …

(Hey, 50+ that’s something. This is a true huge blockbuster action though, we couldn’t pass it up. I think Crossover is pretty intriguing, as is Biker Boyz. Those would have been the others I would be interested in. I’ve seen the Core a number of times, so we’ll eventually do that, but it isn’t pressing.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Arnold Schwarzenegger is No. 1 billed in Collateral Damage and No. 5 billed in The Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 5) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The movie was supposed to include the famous Colombian actress Sofía Vergara, who played an airplane hijacker. But after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack, the scene where Vergara would hijack a plane was scratched from the movie. Moreover, scenes which might be considered unpatriotic have been excluded.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is never shown firing a gun on screen.

The film was originally scheduled to be released on October 5, 2001, but it was postponed due to its terrorism theme and eventually released on Friday, February 8, 2002.

After the terrorist attacks on the USA of 11 September 2001, Warner Bros. pulled all advertising of the film which had included a mock newspaper clipping alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger’s face featuring the word “bombing” and the tagline “What would you do if you lost everything?” and its Collateral Damage (2002) movie website that had included a game called “Hunting for the Wolf”. When the film was finally released in 2002, the film’s poster was revamped with shot of an explosion due to the U.S. subsequent invasion of Afghanistan in the background of Arnold’s face in the foreground and the film’s original tagline missing. The website was completely revamped with nothing but production stills, bios, the film’s synopsis, and cast and crew material. The games and other material that had been on the original version of the website were completely eliminated.

In an interview on Howard Stern in 2014, actor Bill Hader admits to being Arnold Schwarzenegger’s production assistant (PA) on Collateral Damage, although he was uncredited in the film.

The Ladies Man Recap

Jamie

I was having a real case of nostalgia recently thinking about the (kind of amazing) theatrical experiences of my youth. I recall seeing the Power Rangers movie for a birthday party and my memory is that the theater was a madhouse with kids going wild before the film started up. I remember being baffled by Godzilla in 1998 and then even more baffled when I saw Wild Wild West in a jam packed summer theater. I recall thinking Hulk was quite bad (again in a totally packed theater) and one year for our birthday going to see a double feature of Princess Mononoke and (at least as I recall) The Fantasticks… which seems impossible given when those films came out, but hard to say with a small town theater. I remember laughing so hard at Austin Powers 2 during the scene in the tent where the shadows make it seem like Powers is getting stuff pulled out of his butt (classic) and then Wedding Crashers being an absolute sensation and people going to see it over and over in theaters. Anyway… what does this have to do with The Ladies Man? Not much. I don’t think we saw it in theaters, but we definitely watched it once it came out on video. We saw everything back then.

To recap, Leon Phelps is a local radio host in Chicago. He’s real profane and misogynistic and is only kept around because the owner of the radio station has a soft spot for Leon. But Eugene Levy has gone over the owner’s head and with just one more slip up Leon is off the air… and it takes about five seconds for that to happen and he’s fired. Leon is helped out by Julie, his producer, who owes Leon for helping her pick up the pieces after a disastrous wedding. She’s in love with him, but he doesn’t really see it as he’s busy getting busy. In fact, there is a whole cadre of men out there gathering to hunt him down for bedding their wives… once they find out who he is at least. Julie takes Leon around to find a new job but he bungles it at every turn. Fortunately he gets a letter in the mail saying that one of his former flames is looking to run away with him and give him all her money. Hooray. Julie is dismayed, but Leon is not. He just has to figure out who this lucky lady is. He goes on the search and figures out that it’s the wife of the head of the group of murderous men at nearly the same time that they figure out that he’s the culprit for all their marital strife. This culminates in Leon going over to the lady’s house only to be confronted by the men and challenged to a Greco-Roman wrestling match. Leon quickly dispatches him, convinces all the other men that it was their own inattention to their ladies that got them in trouble, and walks off with Julie on his arm. THE END.

Honestly, as I wrote that recap I wondered if this movie was actually a funny concept that was just bungled badly. Like the synopsis is clever in how dumb it is… turning on a dime away from one plot (looking for a job) into another (finding his former flame) by sheer coincidence. It should be funny, and certainly has a few moments, but it’s pretty light on the jokes (and offensive to boot). Maybe because the plot is so kind of complicated in how it twists itself around that they didn’t really have much time to get the right jokes flowing. Anyway, this was unfortunately quite bad. The best parts are with Will Ferrell (the only parts I remembered from the first viewing). The worst parts are with Lee Evans… even though they share most of their scenes together. I guess to end on a positive note: I think this was probably on the right track with how it is constructed. Starting to edge towards that Anchorman absurdity where the plot doesn’t matter much and can be thrown away at any moment. Just… like… where are the jokes?

Hot Take Clam Bake! Gonna go out on a limb on this one. Leon and Julie? I don’t think they make it. Here’s why: Leon, while loyal to his friends and a generally good guy, is also obviously a sex addict. He needs help. Julie seems to think that she can change him. You can’t change him, girl. He needs to take care of his need to find love. He also probably has a problem with alcohol (you see him chugging that Courvoisier? No bueno). Also, he still doesn’t have a job and seems incapable of getting one. Alright, so we got an unemployed addict living on a houseboat and you are a professional woman who is good at her job. Solid stuff. Hot Take Temperature: A Houseboat Aflame.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about an SNL film (again) that was garbage (again)? Let’s go!

As far as what I was thinking going into this film? Well, I mean … I’ve seen this film before. Obviously. I was once a teenage boy in the 90s. I only really remembered the fact that Will Ferrell was in it and was a very strange character obsessed with Greco-Roman wrestling. The SNL skits … I guess I haven’t seen one in a while. One second. Alright, it was what I expected, but there was actually a solid joke where someone asks for a poem, for example by Keats. And Leon responds “Well, sure, Stacy Keach is good. I didn’t care for the Mike Hammer series. But how about this …” That’s pretty good.

As far as this movie … boring and unfunny probably just about sums it up. Gross at times. Even the irreverent stuff (the very very long musical interlude among the roving band of jilted men looking to kill Leon) doesn’t work and seems more like an extended SNL sketch (the musical interlude was done better with the West Side Story parody in the first place). In the skits Leon seems dumb and inconsiderate. In this he seems actually like a garbage person, a gold digger with little evident remorse. But you know, none of that is that big of a deal, not too important if the film is funny … but as I said, it isn’t.

This is actually only our third SNL film. It’s Pat, and Stuart Saves His Family are the other two … amazingly neither actually qualify. We seemingly made exceptions for them having been released to very few theaters. We still have Superstar, Coneheads, The Waterboy (is it?), and A Night at the Roxbury to go. How have we managed this? How have we done (probably) the three worst SNL films available? It is nuts.

A few more quick things about the film: Billy Dee Williams being in this is a trip. He really wasn’t in that many major releases past the 90s, so why he agreed to do this is beyond me.

I like Will Ferrell but this is probably the weakest I’ve ever seen him. Overacting, and really quite aggravating.

And of course the king of overacting: Lee Evans, and this is no different.

And there is not a single funny joke in the entire film! It is remarkably unfunny. Almost impossibly so.

Naturally the obvious Product Placement (What?) for Courvoisier. Naturally a Worst Twist (How?) for the inevitable reveal that the lady the Ladies Man has been looking for the whole time is the wife of Will Ferrell who is leading the gang looking to murder him in cold blood. This movie is Bad bad bad, it just is not funny even for one moment.

Read about The Ladies Man cartoon I detail in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

The Ladies Man Quiz

Oh man, get this. I got home and my wife was sleeping with a mysterious stranger who ran away. Grrrrrrrr. And worse still I ran over him, tripped, and smashed my head directly into the ground. Now I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Ladies Man?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Where did Leon grow up?

2) What identifying feature does Leon have on him that allows Lee Evans to identify Leon as the man who had an affair with his wife?

3) Why did Leon get fired, and then what is the only other radio job he managed to get before also getting fired?

4) How does the roving band of slighted husbands find Leon?

5) Who was Sweet Thing?

Bonus Question: Ahhh, some more sweet early 2000s reminiscing. Do you remember waking up on Saturday morning, pouring an entire box of cereal into a bowl, and eating it while watching some toons? What was the cartoon you watched all the time back then?

Answers

The Ladies Man Preview

Jamie slicks his hair back real nice and prepares for the return of Samantha. He’s got chocolates in one hand, a robot hand ready to extend a bouquet of flowers, and his other hand free as a bird. “You sure you don’t need me to wipe down your handshake hand?” Kyle asks helpfully but Jamie waves him off. His hands are perfect, dry and flaky like a fresh croissant. The door to their apartment opens and in walks Sam looking beautiful. Upon seeing Jamie and his gifts, her face brightens and she runs towards him. Jamie crouches, but before he can rocket his hand forward she leaps into his arms and soon they are making out… hard. Patrick flips through his love manual. “My word, they’ve skipped right past Lesson #3! I’ve never seen anything like this!” He exclaims. After several hours, the make-out session peters out. “Well I guess you don’t need us any more,” Patrick says, tears in his eyes, but before he leaves all of their cell phones start buzzing. “Oh,” Jamie says, a bit puzzled, “it looks like Scott Bakula passed away while we were in England and there was a funeral… I wonder why so many people sent us the video?” They all simultaneously press the play button and are treated to a wild scene where Scott Bakula’s coffin accidentally opens and his head flies out. They burst out laughing. Sam is appalled. “Wasn’t he your dad?” she asks. “No, I don’t think so,” Jamie says. Patrick hesitantly agrees while trying to remember if that had definitely been established. “Still,” she says in disgust and storms out. Jamie hangs his head. “Smooth moves, Ladies man,” Patrick says and opens his manual again. “Time for Lesson #3: A Rose by Any Other Smell…” That’s right! We are watching one of the many SNL failures of the late 90’s/early 2000s. This was before they learned the lesson that maybe they shouldn’t make films based on sketches that are one-joke punchlines with no characters or plots. Let’s go!

The Ladies Man (2000) – BMeTric: 48.3; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 9.6%; Notability: top 15.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.9%; Higher BMeT: Battlefield Earth, Dungeons & Dragons, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, Urban Legends: Final Cut, 102 Dalmatians, Highlander: Endgame, Dracula 2000, Supernova, Big Momma’s House, Get Carter, Little Nicky, The Next Best Thing, Hanging Up, Down to You, Lost Souls, The Crow: Salvation, Fortress 2: Re-Entry, Loser, and 4 more; Higher Notability: The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, Little Nicky, Gone in 60 Seconds, Mission to Mars, Coyote Ugly, Ready to Rumble, Supernova, Lost Souls, Proof of Life, Reindeer Games, Hollow Man, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, Rules of Engagement, 102 Dalmatians, Bless the Child, Isn’t She Great, Final Destination, 28 Days, Dracula 2000, Get Carter, and 19 more; Lower RT: Fortress 2: Re-Entry, 3 Strikes, My 5 Wives, The in Crowd, Battlefield Earth, Down to You, Bless the Child, Lost Souls, Heavy Metal 2000, Dungeons & Dragons, Circus, The Skulls, I Dreamed of Africa, Ed Gein, Screwed, Urban Legends: Final Cut, The Watcher; Notes: As far as over-50 BMeTric we’ve seen 13 out of 22 from the year 2000, which is both astonishing and distressing … how are there still nine? In our defense I guess things like The Next Best Thing and Hanging Up seem like real films, but I can assure you they are not. And don’t worry we’ll watch Viva Rock Vegas soon. Really The Nutty Professor II (which I’ve seen multiple times outside of BMT) is the big oversight here.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – “The Ladies Man” is yet another desperately unfunny feature-length spin-off from “Saturday Night Live,” a TV show that would not survive on local access if it were as bad as most of the movies it inspires. There have been good “SNL” movies, like “Wayne’s World,” “The Blues Brothers” and “Stuart Saves His Family.” They all have one thing in common: “SNL” producer Lorne Michaels was not primarily responsible for them.

(You mean BMT classic Stuart Saves His Family? But yeah, that actually was surprisingly good considering. But yeah, sometimes SNL films are just misunderstood. I think this one ain’t it. I remember enough about it to remember how weird and unfunny it is.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by5n8coSofU/

(Yeah, that looks about right. By which I mean dumb and not funny. The trailer is completely void of plot, as is, I assume, the movie it is meant to represent.)

Directors – Reginald Hudlin – ( Known For: Boomerang; Marshall; Candy Cane Lane; House Party; The Great White Hype; Safety; The Black Godfather; Sidney; BMT: Serving Sara; The Ladies Man; Notes: Basically does a ton of television like The Bernie Mac Show. Nominated for an Oscar for writing Django Unchained.)

Writers – Tim Meadows – (BMT: The Ladies Man; Notes: Indeed, the only actual film he has a credit on. Got nominated for an Emmy for SNL, but only once, which I’m surprised by. He was on the show for quite a while, so I’m surprised he moved out of writing so quickly.)

Dennis McNicholas – ( Future BMT: Land of the Lost; BMT: The Ladies Man; Notes: Nominated for Emmys 10 times for SNL (won once). He also wrote for The Jon Stewart Show in 1995 which predated him taking over the Daily Show.)

Harper Steele – ( Known For: Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga; Casa de mi Padre; BMT: The Ladies Man; Notes: Nominated for three Daytime Emmys for various event broadcasting. Was also nominated for Original Main Title Theme Music of all things for The Spoils of Babylon. And then nominated four times (won once) for SNL. Clearly moved for Funny or Die with Will Ferrell.)

Actors – Tim Meadows – ( Known For: Mean Girls; Trainwreck; Wayne’s World 2; Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Hubie Halloween; Dream Scenario; Mean Girls; GravyTrain; Wasabi Tuna; For Madmen Only: The Stories of Del Close; Future BMT: Semi-Pro; Coneheads; Aliens in the Attic; The Cookout; BMT: Grown Ups; Grown Ups 2; Jack and Jill; The Benchwarmers; The Ladies Man; It’s Pat: The Movie; Notes: He never stops working. Does voices, and films, and random one offs. Never stops. I’ll have to rewatch his I Think You Should Leave sketch.)

Karyn Parsons – ( Known For: Death Spa; 13 Moons; Mixing Nia; Future BMT: Major Payne; Class Act; BMT: The Ladies Man; Notes: She plays Hilary in Fresh Prince obviously. She seems to have mostly retired after 2002.)

Billy Dee Williams – ( Known For: Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back; Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi; Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker; Batman; The Lego Movie; The Lego Batman Movie; The Conversation; Fanboys; Undercover Brother; Nighthawks; The Out of Towners; Quincy; Lady Sings the Blues; Barry Munday; Fear City; Hood of Horror; Terror in the Aisles; Mahogany; The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings; Is That Black Enough for You?!?; Future BMT: Woo; BMT: The Ladies Man; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for Brian’s Song. Woo is a weird looking film, and it is a bit unbelievable that Billy Dee never floated around into other random garbage comedies and junk. We’ll see him in some friends I think: Fear City, Terror in the Aisles, Deadly Illusion, Number One with a Bullet. To name a few.)

Budget/Gross – $24,000,000 / Domestic: $13,616,610 (Worldwide: $13,743,212)

(My god, why would it cost $24 million? Insane idea that this would take in what? $50 million or something. Crazy dumb.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 11% (8/72): The Ladies Man joins the growing list of mediocre movies based on SNL skits. It just doesn’t have enough material to last the length of the movie.

(I can’t believe this is above 10%. Premonition gets 8% and this gets 11%? Nuts. But yeah, again, it really did seem like this skit is a wild idea for a film. What were the skits about? Him giving bad advice on late night local radio? Insane idea.)

Reviewer Highlight: For what it is, a 90-minute spinoff of a Saturday Night Live sketch, Reginald Hudlin’s film The Ladies Man is not bad. – A.O. Scott, New York Times

Poster – The Ladies Sklog

(It’s hard to begrudge a poster that is simply doing its job. It is aiming to bring people into the theater for a film based on the Ladies Man sketch. So why wouldn’t you place that front and center with some courvoisier? What else were they supposed to do? I like the font too, so B-. Why not?)

Tagline(s) – He’s cool. He’s clean. He’s a love machine. (B-)

(Again, credit where credit is due. They want to go the traditional tagline route and while they are stretching a little with the “clean” part, I more or less get what they are going for. Not particularly clever though.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

Future BMT: 93.5 Date Movie (2006), 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.7 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.7 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.6 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 71.1 Soul Plane (2004), 70.5 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 70.2 Delta Farce (2007), 69.2 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Taxi (2004), Elektra (2005), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), Wild Wild West (1999), The Animal (2001), The Marine (2006), Wing Commander (1999), …

Best Options (Comedy): 93.5 Date Movie (2006), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.7 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.7 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.6 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 71.1 Soul Plane (2004), 70.5 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 70.2 Delta Farce (2007), 69.2 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 68.7 102 Dalmatians (2000), 67.7 Phat Girlz (2006), 67.5 Thunderbirds (2004), 67.5 Seed of Chucky (2004), 66.6 In the Mix (2005), 65.7 Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.7 The Comebacks (2007), 64.5 Boat Trip (2002), 64.4 Fat Albert (2004), 64.3 Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006), 63.8 The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), 63.7 Underdog (2007), 63.0 The Honeymooners (2005), 62.3 Cursed (2005), 61.9 Deck the Halls (2006), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.4 Happily N’Ever After (2006), 60.1 Code Name: The Cleaner (2007), 59.9 Corky Romano (2001), 59.8 Agent Cody Banks (2003), 59.6 Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004), 59.1 The Haunted Mansion (2003), 58.8 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 58.2 Scooby-Doo (2002), 57.6 The Next Best Thing (2000), 57.2 Hanging Up (2000), 57.1 Marci X (2003), 56.6 The Stepford Wives (2004), 55.8 Johnson Family Vacation (2004), 55.1 Evan Almighty (2007), 54.9 Snow Dogs (2002), 54.7 The Wild (2006), 54.7 Balls of Fury (2007), 54.2 The Bachelor (1999), 54.1 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 53.8 The Divorce (2003), 52.7 Just My Luck (2006), 52.3 Malibu’s Most Wanted (2003), 52.3 Loser (2000), 52.1 Kickin’ It Old Skool (2007), 52.1 Superstar (1999), 51.5 Scary Movie 3 (2003), 51.4 Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000), 51.2 My Favorite Martian (1999), 51.0 Eight Crazy Nights (2002), 51.0 Racing Stripes (2005), 50.7 Stealing Harvard (2002), 50.6 Rebound (2005), 49.9 Just Married (2003), 49.7 Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999), 49.5 Showtime (2002), 49.5 The Perfect Man (2005), 49.2 The Wash (2001), 49.1 Clockstoppers (2002), 49.0 Simply Irresistible (1999), 48.9 Tomcats (2001), 48.8 Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2000), 48.5 Little Black Book (2004), 48.3 The Ladies Man (2000) …

(Some might say we chose wrong. But others might say Thomas and the Magic Railroad being that bad is crazy. In reality there is a strong argument we should be watching The Klumps. But whatever. That’ll wait for another day.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Tim Meadows is No. 1 billed in The Ladies Man and No. 9 billed in Jack and Jill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 9) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch The Cookout, and Turn It Up we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Inna Korobkina’s on-screen debut.

David Wells appeared in a scene, but it was deleted.

The 10th movie based on a popular recurring character that originated on Saturday Night Live (1975), and the last movie until the release of MacGruber (2010).

The first movie from a Saturday Night Live skit to be rated R since Blues Brothers (1980).

With this movie, Reginald Hudlin is the first and only person of color to direct a movie based on a Saturday Night Live (1975) character.

Premonition (2007) Recap

Jamie

Because we started BMT back in 2011 there are a set of films from around that time that kind of exemplify “bad movie” in my mind. The films that we would see commercials for on TV and be like “WTF, mate? Put some more shrimp on the barbie.” We’d file them away as a film to watch for some uncertain bad movie future. Interestingly, some of these films struggle to make it into the BMT rotation and it can be years and years before we are like “oh yeah, let’s watch The Loft” or “We never watched The Darkest Hour, right?” or “How in the world did we miss Cop Out again?” or “The Cold Light of Day was actually a movie?” That’s Premonition. I just remember seeing the trailer for Premonition and thinking that it looked so boooooooorrrrrrring. So naturally it’s a perfect fit for this cycle of BMT. Isn’t life grand?

To recap, Linda seemingly has a normal life. A husband, two kids, and a bunch of typical things to do around the house. That is until her husband dies in a terrible car crash. You might be saying “Sure, that’s tragic, but why is this a movie?” Well check this out. Turns out when she wakes up it’s like… a totally different day of the week. Sometimes a few days after the wreck. Sometime a few days before. Wooooaaaahhhh. This makes her seem like a total nutso and soon people are wondering if she needs to be institutionalized. This culminates in the day of the funeral where, convinced that her husband isn’t actually dead, she demands that they open the casket. Well that turns out to be a terrible idea because the mortician couldn’t reattach his head and it totally flies out of the casket and. It. Is. Hilarious. So funny it probably won the MTV movie award for Best Comedic Performance or maybe even Best WTF Moment (or dare I say, both). Anyway, once I woke up after passing out from laughing so hard I found that Linda has started to try to piece things together. She figures out that her husband was planning to cheat on her during an upcoming business trip. She also continues to act so crazy that they indeed institutionalize her. So now running against the clock she tries to talk to her husband about what went so wrong in their marriage and ultimately they find love again and make sweet love on the eve of his big trip. Leaving the next day she tries to call him back and save him and ultimately it works. He turns around to meet her on the road. Unfortunately this turns out to be why he dies as his car stalls and a truck plows into him. But… guys… it’s a miracle. She’s pregnant. Faith. God. Love. THE END.

This movie defies logic. It is so bad. It is so boring. The twist of her waking up on different days comes with all kinds of rules (I guess) to make sure that she doesn’t immediately solve the issue at hand. I think (maybe) she can’t totally remember what happens on days in the future when she wakes up in the past? Or perhaps she is incredibly stupid. It’s really rather hard to tell. Anyway, the only reason to watch this movie is to watch the scene where Bullock (acting super crazy and loud) is screaming for them to open the casket and the head flies out and everyone is like “Aahhhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh. Ahhhhhh.” So bizarre and funny. It’s like a sketch from a tv show or something. Everything else is less interesting and the film ultimately ends up being a quasi religious film. It’s weird.

Hot Take Clam Bake! The whole film is an elaborate prank gone wrong. The husband is like “check it, let’s prank my wife and it’ll end up being super romantic when we reunite in the middle of the road and smooch.” Everyone in town is like “awwww.” Sure things go a little sideways when the guy you hired to portray a psychiatrist takes his role a little seriously. Not ideal that one of your daughters crashes through a plate glass window. But she’s a pro and never drops character. Ultimately though it all works out! Nice! There you are in the middle of the road ready for that smooch and to scream “Surprise!” when a truck comes along and blows up your car. Darn. And to think you never even got to show off the prop casket you rigged to fling that fake head out at her. She would have laughed and laughed. Hot Take Temperature: Car Explosion.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Holy shit, I just had a premonition … this movie is going to be garbage. Let’s go!

I distinctly remember watching this trailer when it came out. They played it all the time, and I was like … this could be interesting I guess, but also it seems like it was just a dumb looking knock off of better films? Like was it a time travel film? Was it like … can you stop fate film? In a weird way it ended up being both. And really I just knew it because it got a shockingly low Rotten Tomatoes score. Like, sub-10% for a weirdo thriller? That was nuts. And then we didn’t watch it and it has always floated out there as a possibility but we never actually took the leap.

So with all that context was the wait worth it? Eh … not really. The movie is boring. And it is kind of confusing. And a big part of it was an unexpected religious twist. It is confusing because like … we are all clear that she can’t change the future that has already happened? Like … why is she going and telling the psychologist that she knows her husband died? You don’t think that sounds crazy and might play into why later on the psychologist (shocker) thinks she’s crazy? The entire movie feels really pointless because she is going about things in the absolutely dumbest way possible.

There is a whole thing with her daughter running through a door as well, and that is just the perfect opportunity to allow her to change the future. Like she sees the scars. Then she sees the door. Then she ends up back before the door so she puts decals on the door. Then she repeats the middle day and then the daughter doesn’t go through … I don’t know. This is getting close to Butterfly Effect where in the end she just makes everything worse and she ultimately realizes that the only way to save herself and her family is to let her husband go or something.

This film though is a whole lotta nothing and then in the end she reveals that it was all God’s plan, that she’s having a baby, and that she super sexily took off her husband’s shoes. It’s weird!

All of this being said … uh, this film has one of the funniest BMT moments in the history of BMT. Bar none. There is a moment where Sandra Bullock is so mad and convinced that her husband isn’t really dead. So she marches over to where the casket is and is like “open it up” and everyone is like “uh, you might not want to do that”, but then they take out the casket and it falls over and HIS FUCKING DECAPITATED HEAD FLIES OUT OF THE COFFIN!!!! It is like a skit from I Think You Should Leave. It is incredible. I’ll remember it for all of my years.

Sweet Product Placement (What?) for Nationwide being on Sandra Bullock’s side, and doubling down on her husband not dying like literally that afternoon. I hate this Worst Twist (How?) for the revelation that God is real and you can’t escape fate. This film is closest to Bad unfortunately, despite having a single amazing moment.

Read about my sequel in the quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Premonition (2007) (Quiz)

Oh man, so get this. I was having premonitions of my wife’s impending death, so I told the sheriff, “Hey, my wife is going to die tomorrow!” and they beat the shit out of me and arrested me. Now I don’t remember (or premonish) anything! Do you remember what happened in Premonition?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Premonition! Oh no, Sanda Bullock’s husband died (or did he … he did I think, but in like a different dimension maybe?). How did he die though?

2) HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Well … that … is a thing they put into a movie. What happened when Bullock demanded to see her husband’s dead body?

3) Premonition! What is the titular premonition?

4) How did her daughter get her injuries which causes he quite a bit of consernation right before she is committed?

5) What a twist! How does Bullock save her husband?

Bonus Question: After years of being a screenwriter, I decided to switch careers. Now I make video games. Do you remember the Premonition video game I wrote?

Answers

Premonition (2007) Preview

Kyle, Jamie and Patrick wave goodbye to Ronnie and the 46 or so other Ronnies. “Oh wait,” Ronnie says, “you guys did say you were going to get a whole bunch of spoons, right?” Kyle, Jamie and Patrick all nod. “Well if you need any more there are like a thousand right over there.” Ronnie then points to the corner of the room where a few spooky skeletons are scattered. Behind the skeletons is a large divot in the stone wall where these poor wretches had apparently attempted to scrape their way free. Jamie goes up to the wall and places an ear against it. “I think I hear an air vent back there,” he says thoughtfully. Suddenly they have a plan. If the prison is willing to throw them away like trash, then away they will go. But first they need to gather some supplies in order to sharpen these spoons for the hard job ahead. “Kyle,” Patrick says, “you ever take a shiv?”

Patrick fades out from his memory. Boy those were trying times. It’s also a testament to Kyle’s storytelling ability that despite being wrapped in a cocoon for 99% of the story he is able to remember those parts as clearly as if he were Kyle himself. He looks around, hoping to find Kyle to pay him this compliment, and is surprised to see Jamie and him standing in front of the haunted house with several ghost traps smoking at their feet. “Oh, are you finished?” Patrick asks and they nod. “Was it scary?” They nod their heads again. Now it was time for the ultimate question. “You think you’re ready for that handshake?” Jamie thinks about it for a moment. “I think so, but the future’s so hard to know… you know?” he says. That’s right! We are watching a film where the future isn’t so hard to know, you know? It’s Premonition starring Sandra Bullock and I hear it’s quite good. Oh no, wait… I think I might have that backwards. Let’s go!

Premonition (2007) – BMeTric: 36.3; Notability: 29

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.4%; Notability: top 29.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 5.6%; Higher BMeT: Epic Movie, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Norbit, I Know Who Killed Me, Bratz, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, Daddy Day Camp, Who’s Your Caddy?, Are We Done Yet?, Delta Farce, Postal, Captivity, The Comebacks, Underdog, The Hills Have Eyes 2, The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Code Name: The Cleaner, Ghost Rider, Primeval, and 26 more; Higher Notability: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Evan Almighty, Fred Claus, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Rush Hour 3, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, Epic Movie, The Invasion, The Ten, The Comebacks, Lucky You, Ghost Rider, Underdog, TMNT, Lions for Lambs, August Rush, The Heartbreak Kid, Balls of Fury, and 54 more; Lower RT: Daddy Day Camp, Epic Movie, Code Name: The Cleaner, Because I Said So, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Delta Farce, 88 Minutes, Good Luck Chuck, Who’s Your Caddy?, Are We Done Yet?, Silk, License to Wed, The Number 23, The Reaping; Notes: Probably a rare year. As far as 50+ BMeTric films are concerned we’ve seen 14 of 31. The fact that there are 31 is amusing I suppose, we’d be lucky to get 31 qualifying films at all these days. Skinwalkers is probably the most interesting one. Lots of kids’ films in 2007 for some reason.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – Bullock is a standard-issue perfect housewife and mother who suddenly seems to be experiencing another reality: she awakens to alternating universes every other day or so. Can she convince everyone that husband McMahon is in peril – or is she just losing her mind? Whatever Hitchcock could have done with this genre thriller is not apparent here, and neither Bullock nor the script are up to the task.

(I don’t know what the deal with the Hitchcock call out there is. I can’t see anything about it being a modified script or leftover or anything, so I guess it is just like … Hitchcockian in Leonard’s opinion maybe? There was an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents (the second episode actually) called Premonition, but it doesn’t seem related.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ALLgKiE4gU/

(Goddamn, I remember this trailer so clearly. It played all the time, and then it got horrific reviews. That is maybe the start of me being like … I’m kind of intrigued and want to see this film. It’s been on the docket for a long time for that reason. Looks cool, apparently it isn’t.)

Directors – Mennan Yapo – ( Known For: Lautlos; BMT: Premonition; Notes: German. There is almost no information on IMDb about this guy. Had a (presumably) bit part in Goodbye Lenin!)

Writers – Bill Kelly – ( Known For: Enchanted; Blast from the Past; Disenchanted; BMT: Premonition; Notes: He seems to have been mostly making money off of Enchanted for years. He will have done two Cartoon Network shows in a row, Big City Greens and now Loud House (which I’ve never heard of).)

Actors – Sandra Bullock – ( Known For: Gravity; Crash; Bullet Train; Speed; Bird Box; The Blind Side; The Proposal; Minions; Ocean’s Eight; Miss Congeniality; A Time to Kill; The Heat; The Lost City; The Prince of Egypt; Two Weeks Notice; The Unforgivable; While You Were Sleeping; Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close; The Net; Forces of Nature; Future BMT: Practical Magic; Murder by Numbers; 28 Days; Hope Floats; Our Brand Is Crisis; Two If by Sea; BMT: Demolition Man; The Lake House; Speed 2: Cruise Control; Premonition; Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous; All About Steve; In Love and War; Notes: Apparently spent a lot of her childhood in Germany, I wonder if that is why this has a German director. Won the Oscar for The Blind Side, and was nominated for Gravity.)

Julian McMahon – ( Known For: RED; Fire with Fire; You’re Not You; Faces in the Crowd; Bait; Monster Party; Chasing Sleep; Swinging Safari; Meet Market; Wet and Wild Summer!; Magenta; Future BMT: Paranoia; BMT: Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Premonition; Notes: His father was Prime Minister of Australia for a time. You would have obviously recognized him immediate as Dr. Doom in the Fantastic Four movies.)

Amber Valletta – ( Known For: Hitch; Transporter 2; What Lies Beneath; The Family Man; Man About Town; Girl Walks Into a Bar; The Last Time; Perfume; My Sexiest Year; Future BMT: Dead Silence; Duplex; The Spy Next Door; Raising Helen; Max Keeble’s Big Move; BMT: Gamer; Premonition; Notes: Was a model, and seems to have mostly stopped acting since her 15 episode run on Revenge ended in 2015.)

Budget/Gross – $20,000,000 / Domestic: $47,852,604 (Worldwide: $84,297,309)

(That isn’t bad all things considered. So why no Premonition 2? Premonition: I Can See the Future? I like that one, really tells you what it’s about.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (13/161): Overdosing on flashbacks, and more portentous than profound, the overly obtuse Premonition weakly echoes such twisty classics as Memento, The Sixth Sense, and Groundhog Day.

(Ah the good old days where a crap thriller can come out and get sub-10% on RT. Just an absurdly low score.)

Reviewer Highlight: The sloppy, absent-minded Premonition is a step back in time and a giant leap backward for Sandra Bullock. – Stephen Holden, New York Times

Poster – Bad Feelings

(Ha! I mean, this is an insane poster. We can all agree on that. What does premonitions have to do with Sandra Bullock’s face being made from branches in a tree? Lunacy! At least it’s fun in its nonsense. C-.)

Tagline(s) – It’s not your imagination. (D+)

(Oh good, because I thought I was maybe imagining how horrible this tagline was. Zang! Wow a poster and tagline that both seem like total nonsense.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

Top 10: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), The Hangover Part II (2011), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), In Time (2011), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 2012 (2009), Terminator Salvation (2009), Due Date (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.6 Shark Night (2011), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.6 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 72.1 Dance Flick (2009), 71.3 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Prom Night (2008), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), …

Best Options (2007-2007): 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 70.2 Delta Farce (2007), 68.7 Captivity (2007), 64.7 The Comebacks (2007), 63.7 Underdog (2007), 63.0 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.1 Code Name: The Cleaner (2007), 55.1 Evan Almighty (2007), 54.7 Balls of Fury (2007), 54.2 Feel the Noise (2007), 54.2 The Messengers (2007), 52.1 Kickin’ It Old Skool (2007), 50.4 The Last Legion (2007), 48.2 Blood and Chocolate (2007), 48.2 Stomp the Yard (2007), 45.7 Fly Me to the Moon 3D (2007), 44.7 The Hitcher (2007), 44.6 The Reaping (2007), 43.5 The Brothers Solomon (2007), 42.0 I Think I Love My Wife (2007), 41.6 Fred Claus (2007), 40.1 The Heartbreak Kid (2007), 40.1 The Ten Commandments (2007), 37.3 Saw IV (2007), 36.4 The Invasion (2007), 36.3 Premonition (2007), …

(Yeah fine it isn’t the best we could have done, but I’m not doing Delta Farce, I’m just not! In reality it was chosen for its gaudy RT score … although an amazing number of films seem to have gone sub 10% in 2007. I just looked it up, there were 23 films in 2007 with a sub-10% on RT. I weep for the world, what a beautiful life.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Sandra Bullock is No. 1 billed in Premonition and No. 3 billed in Demolition Man, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 4 (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 3) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch 28 Days, Must Love Dogs, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – (at around 39 mins) When Sandra Bullock was restrained and struggling in the hospital scene she really did cut herself by accident. So instead of using a body double for the injection, it really was Bullock who got the Tetanus shot in the scene.

The movie was shot in continuity, so Sandra Bullock had to meet with the crew every day so she could know what she knew on any given day.

The film was supposed to be shot in New Orleans, but Hurricane Katrina forced the filmmakers to choose another location.

Although they play mother and daughter in this movie, Kate Nelligan is only 14 years older than Sandra Bullock.

Shot in 45 days. DVD extras show scenes being filmed from late-February 2006 to 6 March 2006. It indicates the start of filming to be close to 19 January 2006.