It’s nuts that Zac Snyder was given control of the DC Universe and planted his flag squarely in the Superman franchise. It just doesn’t seem like a property that is well suited to the Snyder aesthetic. So unsurprisingly I found Man of Steel not very good. In fact I thought it was quite bad and mostly because it was a version of Superman that seemed to not know anything about Superman. Despite this, it is less surprising that Snyder hopped on Batman v Superman for another go around. Put Superman second and get down and dirty with Batman. That certainly seems within his wheelhouse. Get giant Ben Affleck to lift some tires with his giant torso. This makes much more sense… but apparently that didn’t make for a better movie cause this one ended up qualifying for BMT. Let’s go!
As we saw in Man of Steel, Superman fucked up Metropolis and now everyone is sad. Batman most notably, but also Lex Luther, now being played as a smarmy techbro. Meanwhile Superman is loving life as Clark Kent straight smooching Lois Lane. So when Lois gets in trouble tracking down a warlord in a war torn country, Superman swoops in to save the day. Or did he? Looks like someone is trying to make him look like an asshole cause they are saying he killed a bunch of people. That someone is Lex Luthor who is also trying to create weapons to battle Superman. Batman is a bit suspicious so he steals all the info from Lex’s harddrive. Eventually he finds out that Lex has been researching all kinds of metahumans, including Wonder Woman, and he starts to get an idea… maybe to kill Superman. Superman agrees to meet with Congress to try to clear his name, but Lex smuggles in a bomb and sets it off. This makes Superman look like an even bigger asshole. Superman is sad, so he leaves, but has to come back when Lex kidnaps his mom. Lex lays out his plan: he must battle Batman or else his mom will die. He’s like “OK” like an idiot and they battle for a while until they realize that both their moms were named Martha. Coooool. So now they fight together. They free Martha, but Lex got a backup plan: a big ol’ monster made from Kryptonian technology. Wonder Woman joins for a giant CGIfest battle which ends with the death of the monster, but also the death of Superman. Everyone is pretty sad about that and decide they have to get a team together to help save the world without Superman. THE END.
I think… I think I liked this more than Man of Steel. It seems impossible because there are several giant mistakes made. The version of Lex Luthor they present? One giant, extended mistake that may very well be the prime reason this film qualified for BMT… that and the fact that nothing makes sense and the whole thing is extremely confusing (even though we watched the Extended Cut which is apparently less confusing than the theatrical version). At one point we do a double dream sequence where Batman dreams he’s in an apocalyptic future and like seven different things happen that only someone heavily invested in the DC comics could possibly understand. Oh and the film opens on a scene that is purposefully evocative of 9/11… which was interesting, but also made me a little uncomfortable. Oh and it ends on a Morbius style CGI battle sequence that made my eyes bleed. So yeah, it seems impossible that I could like this more than Man of Steel but I did… because Snyder should just do Batman and not Superman because he clearly doesn’t even like Superman.
Hot Take Clam Bake! They really need to stop making Superman movies. The real problem is that DC is real “coooool.” I’m kind of making fun of them, but it’s true. It’s the disease you get from spawning a rebirth of superhero movies not just once, but twice at the hands of auteurs. But guess what those auteurs were producing: Batman movies. So why does Snyder decide to focus on Superman? It’s hubris. Everyone wants to do Superman because he’s the OG. So what is James Gunn doing now that he’s taken over? Superman. But why, Jame Gunn? It could be good, but it doesn’t feel right. Do you know what would feel right? Steven Spielberg. And who does Batman? Scorcese. And who does Batman v Superman? Both of them. Hot Take Temperature: The Crush.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice? You think you can just have a v floating there without a period and everyone will be cool with it. Not on our watch Zach Snyder. Let’s go!
How do I put this … this film was a downer? Like an ultra downer. Right? I’m not wrong about this. The film has the color palette of “brown” and both Superman and Batman are kind of trash people. To be clear: I’m talking about the two heroes of the film. Not the villain. And boy howdy will we be talking about the various villains of the film.
They kind of play right into the idea that Superman is this alien disconnected from humanity who can’t seem to get across to people that he’s a literal God who can save us from super villains and ourselves. Instead he likes to get himself into situations where people ambiguously think he killed a bunch of people and make out with Amy Adams in a bath. Boom roasted. Next!
Oh good, Batman, you’re always chill right? … WRONG. You are branding people and getting them killed in prison. Because what every Batman loves is the loophole of “well I didn’t technically kill that guy … I just marked him for death and sent him to his death. Cleaning up the streetz!” He’s a bad guy and a bad detective and he almost killed Superman because he’s also a dummy. Boom roasted. Next!
Lex Luthor? What a weird character. The mannerisms of what I can only forever assume Mark Zuckerberg has, and yet people meet him and are like “hmmmm, you seem totally normal. Although I do wish you would stop talking about angels and demons and Nazis and muttering about how smart people should have absolute power … but outside of that you seem normal and I think you should write our anti-Superman legislation and have unfettered access to an alien spaceship”. Boom roasted. Next!
Wonder Woman? Actually … she wasn’t bad. The only odd bit was that they were very obviously trying to get you to think she could be Selena Kyle (aka Catwoman) but that headfake makes no sense since she’s in the trailer and also they had already announced the Wonder Woman film at this point. Makes the film seem weird. Condition: not roasted.
I think I’ll finish with Zach Snyder. I don’t begrudge his fans their taste in cinema. His color palette is grays and browns and there’s a tonally confusing ultra-violence to everything he does. But he doesn’t make action films. He makes Zach Snyder films. And they are somehow different and I don’t like them and that is that. They are unpleasant to watch. Half-hearted boom roasted. I’m getting tired, guys.
The movie is weird. It is all over the place. It has a garbage pile of CGI as the ultimate villain in … Destructo? I literally can’t remember what he’s called. Like … Dementor? Did it have a name?
And then they just have like four teaser trailers for the upcoming standalone films (two of which didn’t even happen!).
And then everyone cries a bunch even though Superman is obviously not dead. How dumb.
Product Placement (What?) exists, although the only one that obviously springs to mind is a shot of Olay body wash in the tub scene at the beginning. Funny Setting as a Character (Where?) for both Metropolis and Gotham, one of which apparently is in Delaware, although that is hardly canonical. This movie is closest to Bad, it is weird and unpleasant and then too long to even be rewatchable, I didn’t like it.
Read about my sequel DC’s Wonder in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Oh boy. What am I some sort of concussed man? I suppose, because the last thing I remember was hanging in the Midway City subway when a big splosion happened. Do you remember what happened in Suicide Squad (2016)?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Name all of the (evil) members of the Suicide Squad and their powers. Exact name not required, just like … vaguely allude to their powers.
2) There are also two (main) good members of Suicide Squad. Who are they and why are they there?
3) Throughout we are treated to the very unpleasant portrayal of The Joker by Jared Leto. What is his plan to free Harley Quinn?
4) What is the main mission the Suicide Squad goes on? And what is the ultimate mission they end up on?
Bonus Question: Who is the first Suicide Squad member to get a spin off movie?
Oh, so bad news alert. I was in Metropolis the day Superman and Zod fought. Yeah. I got bopped right on the head with a falling rock! I lived, but I got a pretty big concussion and now can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) What is the initial trap that Lex Luthor sets for Superman which gets him in a boatload of trouble?
2) And then what is the second trap he sets in order to try and make him doubt his powers even more? Hint it was the plot which ultimately killed the senator at the capitol.
3) Meanwhile in Gotham, Batman is fighting villains in a slightly non-traditional way. What does he do to the bad guys?
4) Oh and Batman also wants to get some other information from Luthor. What does he ultimately find on the secret harddrive?
5) And in the end, what is Lex Luthor’s plan? And what is his backup plan?
Bonus Question: Superman is gone. But just then a signal comes from outer space … who is it?
“We’re sorry, Mr. Dudikoff,” Patrick wails. He promises they’ll watch Citizen Kane. They won’t mention anything about possible sequels or squeakuels. They won’t drop scorching hot hot takes, or determine specific dates and times of the film. “Themes!” Patrick yells, “Themes and motifs! Just let us stay! Please!” Jamie leans against a nearby bust of Benjamin Franklin. He pops a Coors Light and the buttons on his tearaway sweatpants. His rocky mountains are blue, that’s how cool he is. Ever since he bumped into Gutes something has changed in Jamie. Rulez are Coolz, that’s for sure, but like… who’s rules? BMT rules are cool. GMT rules are cool. Gutes’ rules? Definitely cool. The rules at this school? Not cool. Drake looks back and forth at Patrick and Jamie. One begging to watch Citizen Kane every day for a year, the other now eight Coors Lights deep dressed only in a pair of jorts practicing what appeared to be capoeira. “Wonderful,” Drake says and both Patrick and Jamie stop. “You two are perfect. You remind me of myself. Well me and Charlie to be more accurate. So much the same and yet so different. Gripping onto rules with white knuckles and yet bucking against them at the same time.” He rings a bell and out from a side door walks a man… an identical man. “Hello, I’m Charlie Dudikoff, welcome to my school,” he says, “We need your help. We need the help of the only squad that can get down and dirty with the baddest of the bad and also have a really cool name. We hope that’s you. Are you ready?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other and nod. “Great,” Drake says, “Congratulations, you are now part of the Ultra-Hard Party.” Patrick and Jamie grimace a little. That’s right! We are doubling up on some DC delectables with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad. It’s tough sledding, but we’ve mustered all our strength. Let’s go!
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 17.6%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 21.2%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Black, Zoolander 2, Cell, The Forest, Exposed, Yoga Hosers, Meet the Blacks, Cabin Fever, Norm of the North, Max Steel, The Darkness, Dark Crimes, God’s Not Dead 2, Blair Witch, The 5th Wave, Urge, Gods of Egypt, Get a Job, The Assignment, The Boss, and 24 more; Higher Notability: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Lower RT: Max Steel, Urge, Cabin Fever, Dark Crimes, Amateur Night, True Memoirs of an International Assassin, Wild Oats, The Darkness, Fifty Shades of Black, Norm of the North, Misconduct, Mother’s Day, Exposed, The Last Face, The Do-Over, Get a Job, I.T., God’s Not Dead 2, The Forest, Dirty Grandpa, and 32 more; Notes: My God, I forgot both these movies came out in the same year. The top two Notability films of 2016 knocked out in one go.
RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – At one point in the slog that is “Suicide Squad,” Will Smith’s character laments that he and his team of reluctant do-gooders must battle “the swirling ring of trash in the sky.” That’s a pretty apt description of the movie as a whole, too: It’s massive, messy and noisy. And it stinks.
(Yeeeeeeeeeeeah. That sounds right. Kind of absurd I’ve never seen these movies until now. But you know why I haven’t? Because they seem like huuuuuuuge wastes of time.)
(Wow that was a long trailer. Decent though. Not that surprising since Suicide Squad managed to have one of the best trailers ever for a bad movie. The Queen one. I can’t find it online which is too bad, it was real good.)
Directors – David Ayer – ( Known For: Fury; End of Watch; Bright; The Tax Collector; Harsh Times; Future BMT: Street Kings; BMT: Suicide Squad; Sabotage; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Suicide Squad in 2017; Notes: Was something of a street kid in L.A. growing up and then joined the Navy as a submariner.)
Writers – David Ayer – ( Known For: Fury; Training Day; S.W.A.T.; End of Watch; The Tax Collector; U-571; Harsh Times; Dark Blue; BMT: Suicide Squad; The Fast and the Furious; Sabotage; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Suicide Squad in 2017; Notes: I find it interesting that for all of the accolades of Training Day got, the screenplay really didn’t get much in terms of recognition.)
John Ostrander – (Notes: He’s uncredited as the writer of some of the comics seemingly. And while IMDb has him as a writer, TMDb insists that he merely got a “thanks” on the film. Which is why his section here is empty. A little behind the curtain details on some of the algorithmic quirks of the template.)
Actors – Will Smith – ( Known For: Independence Day; Emancipation; Men in Black; Aladdin; I, Robot; The Pursuit of Happyness; Men in Black 3; Jersey Girl; Enemy of the State; I Am Legend; Bad Boys; Bad Boys for Life; King Richard; Focus; Hancock; Bright; Hitch; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; Ali; Spies in Disguise; Future BMT: Shark Tale; Bad Boys II; Seven Pounds; Gemini Man; Collateral Beauty; Made in America; BMT: Suicide Squad; Men in Black II; After Earth; Wild Wild West; Winter’s Tale; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for After Earth in 2014; Winner for Worst Screen Couple, and Worst Original Song for Wild Wild West in 2000; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Notes: Remember when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock and then won a Best Actor Oscar for King Richard? He was nominated two other times as well.)
Jared Leto – ( Known For: Fight Club; Blade Runner 2049; American Psycho; Requiem for a Dream; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; House of Gucci; The Little Things; Girl, Interrupted; Dallas Buyers Club; Mr. Nobody; The Thin Red Line; Lord of War; Panic Room; Phone Booth; The Outsider; How to Make an American Quilt; Lonely Hearts; Prefontaine; Chapter 27; Highway; Future BMT: Alexander; Switchback; Black & White; BMT: Suicide Squad; Morbius; Urban Legend; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for Morbius in 2023; Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for House of Gucci in 2022; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Suicide Squad in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for House of Gucci in 2022; Notes: Notable for being a method acting weirdo. He was/is in a band with his brother called Thirty Seconds to Mars. Won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club.)
Margot Robbie – ( Known For: Babylon; Once Upon a Time in Hollywood; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Suicide Squad; The Big Short; Bombshell; About Time; I, Tonya; Birds of Prey; Focus; Mary Queen of Scots; Peter Rabbit; Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway; Terminal; Dreamland; Whiskey Tango Foxtrot; Goodbye Christopher Robin; Suite Française; Slaughterhouse Rulez; Z for Zachariah; Future BMT: The Legend of Tarzan; BMT: Amsterdam; Suicide Squad; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar twice for I, Tonya and Bombshell. Very excited for the upcoming Barbie film where she stars as (one of many, seemingly) Barbie.)
(That is a huge film. That is plenty of money to say this was a reasonable success even prior to considering things like streaming rights and stuff.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (102/391): Suicide Squad boasts a talented cast and a little more humor than previous DCEU efforts, but they aren’t enough to save the disappointing end result from a muddled plot, thinly written characters, and choppy directing.
(Jesus, nearly 400 reviews on that guy. A little more humor sounds a little backhanded if I’m being honest. Like … just a little. Compared to the completely humorless Batman v Superman that probably points to it not being enough.)
Reviewer Highlight: For all its cast and crew’s inglorious chest-thumping, Suicide Squad is a failed, forced exercise in - of all things! you had one job! - ensemble chemistry. – K. Austin Collins, The Ringer
(Definitely a trend in posters. Everything Everywhere All At Once had one that was similar. I don’t like it cause it’s breaking my rulez… my rulez that I made up and so are hard and fast. Although great font. Very solid font. And clever. B-.)
Tagline(s) – Worst. Heroes. Ever. (C+)
(I could make a snarky comment here, but I won’t because it’s not. It’s not great, but it’s eyecatching I guess and gets the point across. It actually makes a lot more sense as a Harley Quinn movie tagline and not Suicide Squad.)
Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)
Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)
BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)
Best Options (Killer-Elite): 43.0 Young Einstein (1988), 35.1 The Fan (1996)
(Yeah so this wasn’t in the main dataset. And the options were either no fun (Young Einstein) or involved the actor we just used to get to Killer Elite (The Fan). So, Jamie went above and beyond and found some 2010s era newspaper info to deduce that Suicide Squad played on the same day at Citizen Kane at least once.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jared Leto is No. 2 billed in Suicide Squad and No. 2 billed in Urban Legend, which also stars Alicia Witt (No. 1 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 11. There is no shorter path at the moment.
Notes – Margot Robbie began training six months prior to shooting the film. Her training routine included gymnastics, boxing, weapons training, aerial silk training, and learning to hold her breath underwater for extended periods of time.
Margot Robbie revealed at San Diego Comic-Con International 2016 that although the cast members of the squad had extensive rehearsals together, she and Jared Leto did not rehearse prior to filming their scenes. She and director David Ayer felt it added to the unpredictability and madness of Harley Quinn and the Joker.
To prepare for his role as Deadshot, Will Smith shaved his head, and spent time training with Navy SEALs and Army Rangers, practicing firing a Glock 9mm handgun and an AR-15 rifle.
Tom Hardy was originally cast as Rick Flag, but dropped out to do The Revenant (2015). Hardy had previously played Bane in The Dark Knight Rises (2012), who was a former member of the Suicide Squad in the comic books. Hardy later expressed his regret at leaving the role, given that he did not want to lose the work.
Margot Robbie did the majority of her own stunts.
Margot Robbie kept the live rat that Jared Leto sent her and she even gave it a name; “Rat-Rat”, she added “If Harley got something from Joker, she’d probably cherish it”, she told E! Magazine.
It took the make-up team five hours for the prosthetic make-up to be applied to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, with the make-up applied to his head and shoulders, while the rest was body paint.
Ryan Gosling was sought out first for the role of the Joker. He reportedly turned down the role because he did not want to sign on for a multi-picture deal that the studio was requiring.
Jared Leto got so immersed in playing the Joker that he wouldn’t break out of character on set even when he wasn’t filming. He even sent his fellow cast members “Joker-like” presents: a live rat to Margot Robbie, and bullets to Will Smith, a soiled Playboy magazine to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, and a dead hog, anal beads, and used condoms for the whole crew. Scott Eastwood commented that Leto frightened him at times with his behavior, and Smith mentioned that he actually never met the real Leto.
Early cuts of the film included more interaction with Captain Boomerang and Harley Quinn, with Harley severely disliking him despite growing affectionate to all the other members of the squad.
The Joker’s car, the Jokermobile, is a customized based on a Infiniti G35 Vaydor [V35].
Jared Leto chose not to re-watch the performance given by Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight (2008) because he felt he needed to form his own version of the character. He did not want to copy or lift material from any previous film version. Instead, he focused more on the comic book versions of the iconic villain.
After renowned writer and director Kevin Smith received Harley Quinn’s bat he gave it to his daughter, Harley Quinn Smith.
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje did extensive research for Killer Croc, reading decades worth of material from the comics with the character. He also observed actual crocodiles and researched cannibalism.
When Harley smashes a storefront window to steal a purse, the shirts on display in the window read “SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM” which in Latin reads “If you want peace, prepare for war.”
The Ace Chemicals scene where Joker finishes Harley’s transformation was initially longer in the original cut, with Harley jumping into the chemicals and with more bits of dialogue from Joker.
The baseball bat used by Harley Quinn was given to Kevin Smith as a “thank you” for hosting Dawn of the Justice League (2016).
Awards – Winner for the Oscar for Best Achievement in Makeup and Hairstyling (Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini, Christopher Allen Nelson, 2017)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Jared Leto, 2017)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (David Ayer, 2017)
“We’re sorry, Mr. Dudikoff,” Patrick wails. He promises they’ll watch Citizen Kane. They won’t mention anything about possible sequels or squeakuels. They won’t drop scorching hot hot takes, or determine specific dates and times of the film. “Themes!” Patrick yells, “Themes and motifs! Just let us stay! Please!” Jamie leans against a nearby bust of Benjamin Franklin. He pops a Coors Light and the buttons on his tearaway sweatpants. His rocky mountains are blue, that’s how cool he is. Ever since he bumped into Gutes something has changed in Jamie. Rulez are Coolz, that’s for sure, but like… who’s rules? BMT rules are cool. GMT rules are cool. Gutes’ rules? Definitely cool. The rules at this school? Not cool. Drake looks back and forth at Patrick and Jamie. One begging to watch Citizen Kane every day for a year, the other now eight Coors Lights deep dressed only in a pair of jorts practicing what appeared to be capoeira. “Wonderful,” Drake says and both Patrick and Jamie stop. “You two are perfect. You remind me of myself. Well me and Charlie to be more accurate. So much the same and yet so different. Gripping onto rules with white knuckles and yet bucking against them at the same time.” He rings a bell and out from a side door walks a man… an identical man. “Hello, I’m Charlie Dudikoff, welcome to my school,” he says, “We need your help. We need the help of the only squad that can get down and dirty with the baddest of the bad and also have a really cool name. We hope that’s you. Are you ready?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other and nod. “Great,” Drake says, “Congratulations, you are now part of the Ultra-Hard Party.” Patrick and Jamie grimace a little. That’s right! We are doubling up on some DC delectables with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad. It’s tough sledding, but we’ve mustered all our strength. Let’s go!
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) – BMeTric: 22.2; Notability: 148
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 28.8%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.7%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Black, Zoolander 2, Cell, The Forest, Exposed, Yoga Hosers, Meet the Blacks, Cabin Fever, Norm of the North, Max Steel, The Darkness, Dark Crimes, God’s Not Dead 2, Blair Witch, Independence Day: Resurgence, The 5th Wave, Urge, Gods of Egypt, Get a Job, The Assignment, and 52 more; Lower RT: Max Steel, Urge, Cabin Fever, Dark Crimes, Amateur Night, True Memoirs of an International Assassin, Wild Oats, The Darkness, Fifty Shades of Black, Norm of the North, Misconduct, Mother’s Day, Exposed, The Last Face, The Do-Over, Get a Job, I.T., God’s Not Dead 2, The Forest, Dirty Grandpa, and 38 more; Notes: The highest Notability of the year! The BMeTric is surprising low, but I’ve said it elsewhere: Snyder has a weird fanbase who likes his very specific sub-genre of action films.
RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” is state of the art epic superhero filmmaking. That’s a compliment if you prefer these movies to be ponderous, disorganized and glum, but a warning if you prefer tonal variation from film to film and scene to scene, and have a soft spot for storytelling that actually tells, you know, a story, as opposed to doing an occasionally inspired but mostly just competent job of setting up the next chapter in a Marvel-styled franchise.
There are a few brilliantly realized moments, the acting is mostly strong despite the weak script (Affleck and Cavill are both superb—Affleck unexpectedly so), and there’s enough mythic raw material sunk deep in every scene that you can piece together a classic in your mind if you’re feeling charitable; but if you aren’t, “Batman v Superman” will seem like a missed opportunity. At times it might make you long for Christopher Nolan’s delicate touch. Those last four words have never appeared side-by-side before. Life’s funny that way.
(I’m leaving the whole thing. “Ponderous, disorganized and glum” is my band name. Affleck being surprisingly good, and the slam on Christopher Nolan at the end are both great stuff.)
(I mean … if you like evil Superman and like … apocalypse Batman this looks cool. If you don’t this looks ultra lame. And spoiler alert. I do not like this. Not one bit.)
Directors – Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Watchmen; Man of Steel; Army of the Dead; Dawn of the Dead; Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole; Future BMT: Justice League; BMT: Sucker Punch; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: He (allegedly) got an army of bots (intentionally or unwittingly, I honestly just don’t care which it was) to convince HBO to give him a bunch of money to produce the 4 hour long version of Justice League which still wasn’t very good. Army of the Dead was a modest streaming success by all accounts, so his career is by no means over because of his disastrous DCEU run.)
Writers – Chris Terrio – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Argo; Future BMT: Justice League; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: )
David S. Goyer – ( Known For: The Dark Knight; The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Dark City; Man of Steel; Hellraiser; Terminator: Dark Fate; Blade; Blade II; Kickboxer 2: The Road Back; Zig Zag; Future BMT: Blade: Trinity; The Unborn; The Crow: City of Angels; Death Warrant; The Puppet Masters; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Jumper; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: His career is kind of nuts. He legit started out making cheapo films like Arcade. And now he’s just considered to be an ominous sign that your comic book movie might be garbage. He writes like … everything, so it isn’t totally accurate though.)
Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster, and William Moulton Marston – ( Known For: The Batman; The Dark Knight; Joker; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Batman; Batman Returns; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Batman; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman Ninja; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Batman; Scooby-Doo & Batman: The Brave and the Bold; Batman and Robin; Future BMT: Justice League; Batman: The Killing Joke; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Batman Forever; Batman & Robin; Catwoman; Notes: I’m putting all these guys together and the credits are a bit jumbled. They are the comic book writers for the various characters that appear in Justice League. If I didn’t know that this is all decided by a screenwriting tribunal I would say that crediting all of these people was a stunt to be like “look at all the shit we have in this film!!” In reality, presumably, the cast is such an equal ensemble of characters that indeed, five different comic book writers had to be credited, even though this is a Goyer film through and through.)
Actors – Ben Affleck – ( Known For: Air; Good Will Hunting; Dazed and Confused; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Gone Girl; Triple Frontier; The Last Duel; The Town; Shakespeare in Love; Clerks III; Argo; Deep Water; School Ties; Jersey Girl; Dogma; The Accountant; He’s Just Not That Into You; Daredevil; Field of Dreams; The Tender Bar; Future BMT: Justice League; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Live by Night; Smokin’ Aces; Surviving Christmas; 200 Cigarettes; BMT: Suicide Squad; Armageddon; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Pearl Harbor; Gigli; Paycheck; Phantoms; Reindeer Games; Runner Runner; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor in 2004 for Daredevil, Gigli, and Paycheck; Winner for Worst Screen Combo for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Winner for Worst Screen Couple for Gigli in 2004; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; in 2005 for Jersey Girl, and Surviving Christmas; and in 2017 for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for The Last Duel in 2022; Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for Daredevil, Gigli, Jersey Girl, Paycheck, Pearl Harbor, and Surviving Christmas; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 1999 for Armageddon; in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; and in 2005 for Jersey Girl; Notes: Batffleck! He’s back baby! Air just came out, and I’m holding out hope he’ll get a directing nomination because, why not? They kept on giving Clint Eastwood nominations for making perfectly fine looking good movies, right?)
Henry Cavill – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Count of Monte Cristo; Mission: Impossible – Fallout; Stardust; Man of Steel; Enola Holmes; The Man from U.N.C.L.E.; Enola Holmes 2; Immortals; Night Hunter; Sand Castle; Whatever Works; Blood Creek; I Capture the Castle; Red Riding Hood; Future BMT: Black Adam; Justice League; Tristan + Isolde; The Cold Light of Day; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screen Combo for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Actor for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: There was a brief moment where Cavill announced he was coming back as Superman and people got jazzed, but then two days later DC was like “Wait, what’s this now?” and now he isn’t. It was weird.)
Amy Adams – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Catch Me If You Can; Arrival; Her; American Hustle; Man of Steel; Nocturnal Animals; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; Hillbilly Elegy; Disenchanted; The Fighter; Enchanted; The Master; Vice; The Woman in the Window; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; Julie & Julia; Doubt; Drop Dead Gorgeous; Big Eyes; Future BMT: Justice League; Leap Year; Dear Evan Hansen; The Wedding Date; Underdog; Serving Sara; The Ex; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress for The Woman in the Window in 2022; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for Dear Evan Hansen in 2022; Notes: Nominated for an insane 6 Oscars and never won. We’ll see. Her choices recently have been questionable, but she’s getting to an age where I think she will find that perfect Meryl Streep role from the 00s to finally snag a trophy. I just feel it.)
(That isn’t quite as good. With a $250 million budget you are kind of looking for $1 billion as crazy as it sounds. For this I’m certain that is what they were aiming for. The MCU was smashing that easily on their big tent poles, and this was the moment where you knew the DCEU was kind of toast.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (126/437): Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice smothers a potentially powerful story — and some of America’s most iconic superheroes — in a grim whirlwind of effects-driven action.
(GRIM. That is what these films are. They are grim and all the characters are unfortunately sad and depressing. People talk about the MCU like “why can’t the DCEU be bright” but the visual palette isn’t even close to being the problem. The issue is that in the MCU at least the people seem like pleasant people you’d want to hang out with sometimes. All these people are so dour all the time.)
Reviewer Highlight: When was it decided superhero movies shouldn’t be any fun? – Leonard Maltin
(Guys… we all know they aren’t actually fighting. They are “fighting.” That is fighting until it’s time not to fight and then they fight… other people.)
Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)
Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)
BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)
Best Options (Killer-Elite): 43.0 Young Einstein (1988), 35.1 The Fan (1996)
(This tags along as a bonus film with Suicide Squad, although I’m sure sometime in the late 2010s it played on the same date as Citizen Kane. Seems impossible that it didn’t/)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ben Affleck is No. 1 billed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and No. 1 billed in Pearl Harbor, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.
Notes – In an interview on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (2009), Ben Affleck said he was warned by Warner Bros. about the possible negative reaction to his casting, and was advised to remain off the Internet after the casting announcement. He also said, to assuage his concerns, the studio showed him negative comments that fans had initially made to previous superhero castings. Affleck said in spite of the studio warnings, he still checked out an online message board. The first comment he read was, “Affleck as Batman? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” After seeing that, he immediately went offline.
In this film, Batman wears a voice modulator in his suit to electronically alter his voice. After the casting of Ben Affleck in the role, this was an idea that had been suggested by his friend, director Kevin Smith, as he felt Affleck’s natural speaking voice was too high-pitched for Batman. He also felt it wouldn’t sound like Christian Bale’s voice in the Christopher Nolan Dark Knight trilogy.
Ben Affleck gained an additional twenty pounds of muscle and reached eight percent body fat for his role as Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman.
According to Ben Affleck, he was surprised when he was offered the Batman role, and was at first hesitant to commit to it. He was won over after a meeting with Zack Snyder, who pitched Affleck his vision of Batman, and showed him concept art for the film.
The Waynes are seen walking out of a movie theater, a poster of The Mark of Zorro (1940) is seen on the theater wall. Though not exclusive to all origin stories, most canon Batman origin stories since 1986 have the Waynes leaving a screening of the film. This trend was originally set in reference to the fact that Batman was largely based on the character of Zorro.
A “Batman and Superman” film was originally pitched in August 2001 by Andrew Kevin Walker, with Wolfgang Petersen to direct, and Akiva Goldsman to script. Goldsman’s script had Bruce Wayne’s fiancée slain by the Joker, which sends him on a revenge rampage and brings him into conflict with Superman, who tries to stop him. The film was shelved, but in Goldsman’s I Am Legend (2007), a teaser poster for the film (the Superman shield inside a bat) was seen in the opening scene. It was rumored at the time, that George Clooney would be reprising his Batman role from Batman & Robin (1997), and John Travolta would be playing Superman.
Ben Affleck stated in an interview that he had asked if he could have the batsuit when filming was complete. The producers said yes, but that he would have to pay $100,000 in order to keep it. Affleck quickly changed his mind, and asked if he could just take a picture with it instead.
The armor that Ben Affleck wears is based on Batman’s armor in the comic book “The Dark Knight Returns,” written by Frank Miller, and published in 1986. His regular costume is entirely different than the graphic novel. In the novel the suit was made of traditional blue and gray fabric, and with a bullet-proof plate behind the traditional yellow oval bat logo.
When discussing the film, Henry Cavill said that it would address a major issue that fans and critics had with Man of Steel (2013), involving the huge amount of collateral damage caused in the film’s climax during Superman’s battle with General Zod in Metropolis. Cavill said that future battle scenes in movies featuring Superman would involve him making sure to not harm civilians himself and to protect them from evil villains.
Superman only had 42 lines of dialogue throughout the entire movie.
In response to the negative and mixed reviews, Ben Affleck (Batman) said “We made this movie for the fans, not the critics.” His co-star Henry Cavill (Superman) said similar things in other interviews.
A rough cut of the film was shown for Warner Bros. executives. They were reportedly so impressed that they not only gave the film a standing ovation, but also began negotiating a deal with Ben Affleck to have him make three solo Batman movies, rather than the original plan to make only one.
When Wallace Vernon Keefe, has been gathering newspaper clips about Superman, a picture is seen where Superman is lifting a car, about to smash it against a rock. The picture is a photo version of the cover of Action Comics #1 from 1938, Superman’s debut.
There is a Riddler style question mark graffitied in one of the pillars of Wayne manor.
Michael Shannon never actually shot any scenes for this film and the production used a rubber dummy for Zod’s corpse, he stated, “In the movie there’s a large rubber version of my naked body that Lex Luthor is playing with. I was not, the only thing I did for that is I did some ADR of some lines that Zack [Snyder] thought he might use in the movie of my disembodied spirit talking to Lex Luthor.”
The day after he was cast as Batman, Ben Affleck began working out two hours a day and “hated every minute of it”, by his own admission.
Jimmy Fallon once asked Ben Affleck what his daughters thought of him being Batman and he said, “They don’t care. All they want to watch is Frozen (2013).”
Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Jesse Eisenberg, 2017)
Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Combo (Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, 2017)
Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Chris Terrio, David S. Goyer, 2017)
Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (2017)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2017)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Ben Affleck, 2017)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Henry Cavill, 2017)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Zack Snyder, 2017)
Man Trouble aired on TV on January 11th, 1997… but you had plenty of time to throw on Citizen Kane that day because, guess what? You had already watched Man Trouble in theaters five years earlier. “Been there, done that,” you think, recalling the stunning advertising scheme that launched you directly from your couch into the nearby cineplex:
Jack Nicholson and Ellen Barkin are the funniest AND sexiest couple of the summer? Sign me up, you thought. ‘Funny’ and ‘Sexy’ are the two words you immediately associated with Jack Nicholson and you couldn’t wait to see it sizzle on screen with EBark. Lo your disappointment when you learned that it was merely the second funniest and sexiest couple of the summer. That’s because it’s the summer of Universal Soldier, where JCVD and Dolph Lungren do some sizzling of their own. A sizzle so hot that Jack and EBark never stood a chance.
To recap, Ellen Barkin is a recently single opera singer who gets scared living alone following a break-in at her apartment. She asks to move in with her kooky sister, but she’s off for some surgery/rehab. She still moves into her sister’s house but begins looking for protection. Enter Jack Nicholson, an unpleasant, married, mildly racist owner of a floundering guard dog service. He’s happy to sell her a dog, nevermind that he doesn’t technically own the dog. Barkin is loving how ferocious this dog is, but still is quite spooked when she continues to receive creepy messages at the house and is even attacked by a masked man. Meanwhile Jack is approached by representatives from Barkin’s sister’s powerfully rich ex-boyfriend offering to pay him cash to steal an explosive memoir the sister is writing. Jack is hesitant because he kind of likes Barkin, but still takes the check cause he’s broke and is going to lose his business. After some steamy dates and some hot and heavy make-out sessions with Barkin, Jack ends up half-heartedly looking for the memoir, but drops it when he finds a gift that Barkin has bought for him. When Barkin gets a call from her sister claiming to have been taken prisoner by her ex, Barkin and Jack head out to find her. They end up saving her, but the ex reveals Jack’s falsehoods which ends their relationship. Later, Barkin is at practice with the symphony and gets a ride with one of her friends. Luckily Jack is following because what seemed to be a platonic male friend turns out to be the very person who has been terrorizing her! He’s been harboring resentment that she never liked him because of how much of a loser he is and now is ready to take it out on her. Not so fast! Here comes Jack and they battle it out. Having saved the day, Jack smooches Barken and they live happily ever after. THE END.
I’m not sure what happened here. You can see the skeleton of a film that delivers on what it appears to be selling: Jack Nicholson is a con artist of sorts who to cover his debts is convinced to gain the confidence of a woman so he can steal something of value. He begins to take advantage, but then unexpectedly finds that he’s catching some feelings (as the kids say) and then has to somehow unravel his own scheme. But most of what I just laid out appears to have been sanded away before production. Jack’s character is a bad person for sure, but also seems to be an actually good dog trainer who is trying to make an honest buck after striking out on his own. He is pretty much into Barkin from the jump, and she’s into him, and he helps her a bunch. He’s not even a con man as far as we can tell. If anything he seems more like a sad person who unexpectedly finds love. The tone is wildly off as a result of whatever they did to change the plot. It seems like it was meant to be a satire of romantic comedies with all kinds of jagged edges… but then they tried to turn it into a stereotypical rom com. The result is not funny and not sexy. It is well acted, though. That about sums it up.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Jack is in for a world of hurt with this relationship. First of all he’s already proven himself untrustworthy. Barkin knows he was married the whole time they knew each other and that is no bueno. Second, he’s lost his business which was already failing. Why was it failing? Because he has no business sense. So why did he own a business? Because he clearly was a great trainer, but had problems with authority. Methinks this dude is going to be unemployed for quite a while. Third, so why is Barkin going to hang around an unemployed liar? They must have a lot in common, right?… right?! Nope. Nothing in common. He’s a bore. She is an opera singer who loves literature. So now she has an unemployed, uninteresting liar bumming around her house. This relationship is lasting a month tops and then he’s out on his ass… unless Man Trouble 2: More Trouble. Jack starts to terrorize Barkin himself to get that magic back. Now that’s a con man! Hot Take Temperature: Original Sin.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Man Trouble? More like Won’t Chuckle! Amirite? A Jack Nicholson rom com I’ve never heard of where he plays a huge piece of garbage? Sign me up! Let’s go!
Read about the sequel Man Trouble 2: Cyber in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Oh man, so get this. I’m a garbage man and I just can’t control these a-wanderin’ hands. Well, let me tell you what, that really gets me into trouble. The people slapping my face kind of trouble. And they’re slapping my face hard. So hard that I have a concussion and possibly brain damage, and I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Man Trouble?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Jack Nicholson is, as I said, a garbage man. And not in the custodial sense, like he’s garbage. Anyways, what is his job?
2) And what is Ellin Barkin’s job? Also why is she in a spot of trouble?
3) Oh and what is Ellin Barkin’s sister’s job? Can you tell there isn’t much to really care about in this film?
4) And what is Harry Dean Stanton looking for? What does he offer Jack Nicholson to get it for him?
5) In the end what is the whole sordid tale? Where does Stanton stash the sister, what happens to the manuscript, and who was causing Ellen Barkin’s trouble and why?
Bonus Question: 30 years later and we see a phone rigging. That’s right, it’s the trailer for Man Trouble 2. Who answers?
“Not just one ghost… Two,” Michael reminds them for the fifth time. Jamie and Patrick nod in understanding. They get it. Not just one ghost. After telling them the story of Charlie and Drake Dudikoff (long story short: apparently they both became ghosts), he promised that he knows everything about this place and led them to a nearby secret passage. Since then they’ve been wandering the tunnels underneath the rehab center for hours, if not days, and Jamie and Patrick are starting to get concerned that Michael may have oversold his knowledge of the Testarossa. “Time is different here in the catacombs,” Michael says again. It’s as if he has only a handful of phrases he is able to say. “Right, right, time is different. Not just one ghost but two. Michael?” Jamie interjects, “how much longer do you think we’ll be wandering these catacombs? The ones where time is different.” Michael nods, “Just a little further. Time is different here in the catacombs. I’ve been here forever, so I know everything about this place.” Jamie and Patrick both sigh. But just then a doorway appears out of the gloom. Jamie and Patrick rush up to it and take a deep breath. “Finally we can help Gutes!” Jamie says just as Patrick says “Finally we can get back to Citizen Kane!” They look at each other in confusion as the door creaks open revealing a library adorned with rich mahogany. “Why hello,” a man says from a very comfortable chair. “Looks like you finally made it. Time works a little differently in the catacombs, but Michael always makes his way eventually.” The man nods to Michael. “You can leave now, Michael, I’ll take care of these two troublemakers. Let me introduce myself. I’m Drake Dudikoff. Welcome to my school.” That’s right! We might be causing a bit of trouble at the Dudikoff center but it’s nothing compared to all the trouble Jack Nicholson is causing in Man Trouble. It’s a movie… about a man… and boy… is he trouble. Probably that’s what it’s about. Let’s go!
Man Trouble (1992) – BMeTric: 36.5; Notability: 44
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 8.0%; Notability: top 6.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.0%; Higher BMeT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Body of Evidence, Cool World, Pet Sematary II, Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, Toys, Sleepwalkers, 3 Ninjas, Sidekicks, Freejack, Beethoven, Aces: Iron Eagle III, Evil Toons, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Ladybugs, Dr. Giggles, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Encino Man, Man Trouble; Higher Notability: Toys, Cool World, Newsies, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, The Bodyguard, Freejack, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Innocent Blood, Universal Soldier, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Mighty Ducks, Radio Flyer, This Is My Life, Encino Man, The Distinguished Gentleman; Lower RT: Frozen Assets, Once Upon a Crime…, Love Crimes, Folks!, Live Wire, Year of the Comet, Cool World; Notes: I’ve barely heard of some of those lower RT films from 1992. Quite amazing that it only has 3K votes as well. But the Notability is so high! What a weird film.
Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars – Opera singer Barkin is troubled by a frightening break-in and other harassment so she hires guard-dog specialist Nicholson to beef up security. This mongrel of a screwball comedy consistently misses the target. Particularly disappointing in the light of reteaming Nicholson with Five Easy Pieces director Rafelson and writer Carole Eastman. Way below par for all concerned.
(Yeah, looking at the notes, that is the main thing. That he re-teamed with them as a favor and then it ended up as a huge disaster.)
(Wow, that is just maybe the worst trailer I’ve ever seen. You can tell they didn’t even know what the film is about. They are trying to figure it out in the voice over and never quite get there.)
Directors – Bob Rafelson – ( Known For: Five Easy Pieces; The Postman Always Rings Twice; Stay Hungry; Blood and Wine; Black Widow; Head; The King of Marvin Gardens; Mountains of the Moon; No Good Deed; BMT: Man Trouble; Notes: Nominated for 2 Oscars, both for Five Easy Pieces. Which is basically the entire story behind this film. Also helped create The Monkees.)
Writers – Carole Eastman – ( Known For: Five Easy Pieces; The Shooting; The Fortune; Model Shop; Puzzle of a Downfall Child; BMT: Man Trouble; Notes: Met Nicholson in an acting class, and ultimately he starred in the majority of her written works.)
Actors – Jack Nicholson – ( Known For: The Departed; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest; The Shining; Batman; A Few Good Men; As Good as It Gets; Chinatown; Mars Attacks!; The Witches of Eastwick; The Pledge; Easy Rider; Anger Management; Something’s Gotta Give; Terms of Endearment; The Bucket List; Five Easy Pieces; Carnal Knowledge; Tommy; The Postman Always Rings Twice; Goin’ South; Future BMT: How Do You Know; The Evening Star; BMT: Man Trouble; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 1993 for Hoffa, and Man Trouble; Notes: Y’all know Jack. Famous Lakers fan, he refused to allow anyone on the set of The Departed to wear a Red Sox hat. Apparently not retired from acting, although he hasn’t appeared in anything since 2010.)
Ellen Barkin – ( Known For: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; The Man from Toronto; Ocean’s Thirteen; Diner; Tender Mercies; This Boy’s Life; Drop Dead Gorgeous; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension; The Cobbler; Sea of Love; Eddie and the Cruisers; Johnny Handsome; Brooklyn’s Finest; Breaking News in Yuba County; Down by Law; Hands of Stone; Someone Like You; Very Good Girls; The Big Easy; Twelve; Future BMT: The Fan; Switch; Harry & Son; BMT: Wild Bill; Mad Dog Time; Man Trouble; Notes: Won an Emmy for Before Women Had Wings. Starred in the tv show Animal Kingdom.)
Harry Dean Stanton – ( Known For: The Godfather Part II; Alien; The Green Mile; How the West Was Won; The Avengers; Red Dawn; Rango; Pretty in Pink; Seven Psychopaths; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; Inland Empire; Escape from New York; Cool Hand Luke; Wild at Heart; Paris, Texas; The Pledge; Anger Management; The Last Temptation of Christ; Alpha Dog; Christine; Future BMT: Down Periscope; Dream a Little Dream; The Animal; You, Me and Dupree; Young Doctors in Love; BMT: Fire Down Below; Never Talk to Strangers; Man Trouble; Notes: Died at 91 a few years ago. All over the place as a character actor, and was the main antagonist of the show Big Love.)
Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $4,096,030 (Worldwide: $4,096,030)
(My god, that film had a family! That is a colossal bomb. Possibly the largest bomb of that year. And then people just forgot about it. Only 3000 votes on IMDb. It is crazy!)
Rotten Tomatoes – 7% (2/30): Man Trouble has brilliant stars and the germ of an interesting idea in its favor, which makes the scattered, unfunny results even more of a disappointment.
(Unfunny garbage? That’s my middle name. What a low RT score. I do wonder how many sub-10% RT films there are and how many we’ve seen … one sec. There are 372 qualifying films that fit the bill, and we’ve seen 175 … soon to be 176, but still, a ways to go is an understatement.)
NY Times Short Review: Love. A dog trainer and an opera singer. Sad mess of a romantic comedy.
(This honestly looks so much like the cover a self-help book that if I didn’t already know the plot of the film I would have thought it was a movie about a self-help guru who breaks all her own rules and falls in love with everything she advises her readers not to go after. The anti-catch…. That’s actually not half bad. I better start working on that script. I think I’ll call it… Man Trouble. Oh, the poster is a surprising C. If only for the pink font and the little pink doggie.)
Tagline(s) – She put her life in his hands. Unfortunately, his hands have a life of their own. (C+)
(My word. That is crazy like a fox. Obviously it takes far too long getting where it wants to go, but the use of the old fashioned “life of their own” phrasing to spin a pun is so ludicrous that I can’t help but respect it. Although I have to say I don’t love the word “unfortunately” here. GIves me the creeps.)
Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane
Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)
Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)
BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)
Best Options (Romance): 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 39.0 The Beautician and the Beast (1997), 36.7 Man Trouble (1992), 32.2 Born Yesterday (1993), 32.0 Blind Date (1987), 31.3 The Forbidden Dance (1990), 30.9 He Said, She Said (1991), 29.6 Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992), 28.9 Dream a Little Dream (1989), 27.9 The Favor (1994), 26.7 HouseSitter (1992), 26.7 Vibes (1988), 26.6 The Saint (1997), 26.2 Flashdance (1983), 26.1 The Bride (1985), 24.7 18 Again! (1988), 24.4 Poetic Justice (1993), 21.8 Funny About Love (1990), 21.3 Date with an Angel (1987), 21.0 For Keeps? (1988), 16.8 Listen to Me (1989), 16.6 Mr. Destiny (1990), 15.5 Aspen Extreme (1993), 15.2 Worth Winning (1989), 15.1 Unfaithfully Yours (1984), 14.6 Creator (1985), 13.2 Stella (1990), 10.7 Reckless (1984)
(What a wild set of options and a wild movie to choose. I should note about the graph, that peak in 1992? That’s real. It is because “Citizen Kane Days”, days when Citizen Kane played on television, had a huuuuuge peak in 1992 since that was the 50th anniversary. And since recent films are going to be playing the most in 1992 the peak will be around 1990-1992. Fun facts.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ellen Barkin is No. 2 billed in Man Trouble and No. 2 billed in Wild Bill, which also stars Diane Lane (No. 4 billed) who is in Judge Dredd (No. 2 billed) which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (4 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch The Fan, Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.
Notes – Jack Nicholson mainly agreed to make this film in an attempt to revive the careers of his old friends Bob Rafelson and Carole Eastman. Nicholson had worked successfully with the two on Five Easy Pieces (1970).
A promotional photo session featuring Ellen Barkin sporting a studded dog collar and attached to Jack Nicholson’s leash had American feminist organizations in an uproar.
Meryl Streep was initially intended for the role of Joan Spruance, but she withdrew when she became pregnant.
The first version of the script was written in the 1970s, and was to feature Jack Nicholson and Jeanne Moreau. At first, Caole Eastman hoped to direct her script herself.
Other pairings considered were Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson, then Robert De Niro and Jessica Lange, and then Al Pacino and Meryl Streep, before its final incarnation of Nicholson and Ellen Barkin.
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Jack Nicholson, 1993)
Welcome to a bona fide Daddio Special. Airing on September 1st, 1990 we could have plopped down as a family at 7pm to watch Poltergeist III. Now we are jazzed. We just got Poltergeisted. We’re like “Daddy, daddy, we can’t go to bed yet. Best birthday ever!” and so he unfurls the newspaper. Will it be Casualties of War, Stand and Deliver, or Leviathan? Nah. The Times is telling him to “spare yourself” (at least regarding Leviathan). Oh ho, but what’s this on TMC? UHF!?!? Literally our favorite film growing up that we watched over and over and over and over?! It’s destiny. Then off we go to bed, having laughed and loved with Poltergeist III and UHF. The perfect birthday pairing. Once we are in bed, though, Daddio works his way through Night of the Demons and The Iron Triangle so he can finish his birthday right: a 2 am showing of Citizen Kane. Beautiful symmetry.
To recap, the Freelings are back, Jack! Well not really. Only Carrrooollll Annnneeee, who has been sent away to live with her Aunt Pat and her new husband Bruce and his daughter Donna. Bruce is all like “the more the merrier” while Pat is a bit rude and has some ‘tude towards her niece. She’s got an art gallery to run, damn it! They live in a fully mirrored skyscraper that Bruce runs (don’t want to see his bill for Windex, emiright?) and Carol Anne goes to a special school for special children run by a very not special (and particularly awful) child psychologist who thinks Carol Anne is manipulative and delusional. But she’s not delusional. Not at all. That’s cause Kane is back, Jack and ready to snack… on Carol Anne’s soul. Bwahahaha. While Pat and Bruce are out at a party and Donna is doing some partying of her own, Carol Anne is attacked by Kane. She is able to escape but is soon pulled into the Other Side. Donna and her maybe-more-than-a-friend Scott witness this on the building’s security cameras and are also pulled into the Other Side when they go to try and help her. Things are looking pretty dire (3-0 Kane by my count), but Scott and Donna make a surprise return so really it’s 2-1, advantage good guys. Bruce runs off to try to find Carol Anne and in a big ol’ twist Donna and Scott kill the psychologist cause they are actually mirror people! Back to a 0-3 shutout by Kane. Boooooo! But Pat realizes she has to lose the ‘tude and only by showing how much she loves Carol Anne can she defeat Kane’s hate. Bruce, Pat, Carol Anne, and Donna are reunited. 2-1 good guys and they never get Scott back cause fuck him, right? THE END.
Wowza. This movie is really quite bad on every single level. Acting? Dire. Storyline? Confusing. Visuals? Over the top mirror world (read: actually kinda fun at times). Everything about this films screams “for the love of God do not release me to theaters.” Oohhhhh, but they did. This hits some top marks and will be on some short lists at the end of the year. This has a lot going for it, but I especially like how nice it is as an example of how lore can go bad (in this case a desperate attempt to make their own Jason/Freddy/Myers in Kane) and really bury a franchise. It’s no wonder that it took decades for them to revive the property because the Kane stink must have been strong. Who wants to grapple with all that jazz? Gotta wait and just reboot the original, which is exactly what happened.
Hot Take Clam Bake! I’m gonna plant my flag right now on the question that has been eating at all the Poltergeist III heads out there for decades: Scott (the real hero of the film) is not dead. He definitely popped out somewhere else when Kane was defeated. How do I know? Carol Anne was the prize, that’s why. Kane probably didn’t even want Scott. What would he need to take Scott over to the Other Side? He’s a loser with bad style. That’s not mean, it’s just the truth. He uses him for his mirror magic and them pooped him out somewhere and probably Scott was like “actually can I come to the other side with you, Mr. Kane, sir?” and Kane was like “No.” Hot Take Temperature: Perfect Stranger.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Poltergeist III? More like Poltergeist: Tower. Gremlins, Poltergeist … why didn’t we see more horror films going for the tower sequel? Let’s go!
I did genuinely like the setting of this film. I’m not joking: why aren’t there more horror films in towers / films in towers in general. Then again, Skyscraper was the dumbest movie I’ve ever seen so …
The acting in this movie is dire. I think it exposed a few things. First, that JoBeth Williams and Craig T. Nelson are very good actors who were too good for the schlock being dished out in the Poltergeist sequels. Second, that as good as Heather O’Rourke was in the original Poltergeist she ultimately was a child actor, and the more you asked of her the more dicey things got. And finally, that the fringe players (like Zelda Rubinstein, woof!) even in the original series weren’t very good, but you only noticed it once the main actors and material got bad enough.
Again, and I can’t stress this enough, this is one of the most poorly acted films I’ve ever seen. It is laughable. How much that is “bad material begets bad performances”, I don’t know.
But, the exception is Lara Flynn Boyle, who is actually solid in her debut, so I don’t think the material is entirely to blame. They just cast the film weirdly. There is a reason that none of the other teenage actors and (especially) the psychiatrist really acted in anything even close to the level of this film.
The film isn’t scary.
Some of the effects were pretty good though. Lara Flynn Boyle coming out of the crumbling Zelda Rubinstein model was actually quite cool. And while very obvious as to how it was done (and sometimes … it wasn’t done very well) the mirror motif and effects were at least fun.
There really isn’t a lot to the film, but the whole idea of all this stuff being some hallucination caused by child genius Carol Anne is absurd.
They say the name “Carol Anne” a billion times, and yeah, it is pretty funny. It is mostly funny when Zelda Rubinstein does it because she does it over and over in some scenes. Most of the other occurrences are just Kane whispering sinisterly.
Plot Hole Alert!! So … what happened to Scott? You see that he is maybe his mirror image, and him and mirror image Lara Flynn Boyle go back into the mirror. But at the end only Lara Flynn Boyle is saved from the mirror universe. So was Scott killed?
Because this is actually important. As crazy as it sounds the body count for the entirety of the Poltergeist series is either one (Dr. Seaton who is certainly killed by mirror image Lara Flynn Boyle by being pushed down an elevator shaft), or two if Scott indeed died. But it is almost impossible to tell.
Setting as a Character (Where?) for Chicago, set in a new skyscraper there. And MacGuffin (Why?) for Carol Anne as usual for the Poltergeist series. It isn’t really a twist in the end, because didn’t we all know that Kane just wanted to be guided to the afterlife? Seemed obvious. So incredibly BMT it is hard to articulate, the film is absurdly bad in multiple ways.
Read all about the ultimate sequel Poltergeist III: Part 2: The Mirror in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Seeing as Poltergeist III is a Daddio Special (a film that aired on September 1st, 1990) and Poltergeist II got dangerously close to a Twin Special (airing on October 3rd, 1991) I think I’ll just hop on over to October 9th, 1991 and see what we could have watched just six days after Poltergeist II for the Twin Special Celebration Spectacular. The answer seems obvious. Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood is not-so-secretly my favorite of the franchise and seems like a nice pairing with Poltergeist II which is… not my favorite Poltergeist film (spoiler alert). I have to admit it’s kind of hard to pass up The Sicilian, a Michael Cimino flop starring BMT fave Christopher Lambert and I have to shine a light on the short listings description written for past BMT film Shanghai Surprise: “Flat, watery egg-drop soup. Two at sea, by land.” Give The Times a god damn Pulitzer. It’s like a poem.
To recap, the Freelings are back, Jack! And now they’re sad! After the ghostly events of the first film, the family has moved into Diane’s mother’s house. They are poor because their house disappeared into nothing and the insurance company doesn’t cover that. Despite that (and the grandma who is all like “I know why you have ghosts. It’s because we’re ghost people.”) they are doing OK. That is until a creepy old-timey pastor comes stalking about looking for Carol Anne. Turns out there is a very detailed explanation for all the events of the first film (great!) that also doesn’t make much sense in the context of the first film (less great!). Basically this ghost pastor, Kane, was a crazy cult leader who went into the caves beneath the family’s house and killed themselves… so forget all that cemetery mumbo jumbo we told you about before. Grandma dies and everyone is sad and things are looking dire cause Kane is growing stronger. Thankfully a Native American shaman, Taylor, shows up to whip them into poltergeist battling shape. They seem to be doing OK until Taylor leaves. Kane shows up and they barely escape with their lives. They decide to battle Kane where he lives so they go to the caves and all get warped into the other side. From there it. Gets. Crazy. Like psychedelic bullshit. Almost unbelievable that there was a moment where you could sit in a theater and watch it with a bunch of people. It’s that ridiculous. Anyway, Craig T. Nelson gets thrown a spear by Taylor and he kills Kane with it. Carol Anne almost slips into the afterlife but good ol’ grandma shows up and is like “don’t worry ‘bout it.” THE END.
I think this entry in the series is specifically hurt by being the sequel to the much better Poltergeist. Some really good special effects (even nominated for an Oscar, which is something considering the reviews for the film itself) and a totally bonkers ending would have done quite well in the first of a lower budget series. Like a Wishmaster or Pumpkinhead. You could have imagined it garnering a loyal cult following in that context. But that’s hard to do when you are rehashing and rearranging aspects of a first (better) movie. So if you want to see a mediocre to slightly below average horror film with some wild and crazy stuff mixed in, then you just might be in the cult of Poltergeist II and you can refer to it as The Other Side and never compare it to the first one.
Hot Take Clam Bake! The lore in this film is actually better than the original. The first film is all about how the neighborhood they live in was built on top of a cemetery. They moved the headstones but not the bodies. I don’t get it though because they specifically go out of their way to say that the neighborhood allows you to do whatever you want on your property and our main characters are actively in the process of building a pool. So… where are all these bodies they should be digging up? Am I missing something? At the end we see them all up in that pool and popping out of the ground. So where were they before and why did it only impact the Freelings’ house? It really doesn’t make sense. Kane’s death cult burying themselves alive under the house and being activated by the family’s hereditary supernatural abilities somehow is the better explanation. So there you have it. Poltergeist II is the better movie. Hot Take Temperature: Swimming Pool.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Poltergeist II: The Other Side? More like Polter-gross Boo: Run and Hide. I mean … long title that kind of works. I should have just left it at Polter-gross Boo though. That’s killer. Let’s go!
The main thing this film has going for it is that it still has JoBeth Williams and Craig T. Nelson, who both continue to be great despite the decidedly sillier premise of the sequel.
It is a little shocking that even though they lampshaded the “Indian burial ground” explanation in the first film they … kind of do it for the second? They basically suggest that the bad guy, Kane, was a preacher who was butting heads with the local native people prior to him killing himself and his flock. It is much closer, an odd choice.
Taylor is fine in the film, but again, I just wish they hadn’t gone in the direction they did with the film with Kane.
I should probably get into Kane. Kane is to Poltergeist II and Jason is to Friday the 13th: Part II. He’s an attempt to tack from a defeated enemy of a hit horror film to something a bit more sustainable for a franchise. But yet, Kane is never ever discussed in the terms of horror villains. It is bizarre. Kane is, due to the sequels, inexorably a giant part of the franchise. And yet, you only vaguely hear about “They’re heeeeeeeeeere” and the vague notion of a house built on a cemetery. Nothing about Kane.
He’s an odd character. Honestly, he would have been a good character if he was hinted at at all in the first film.
Isn’t that the problem? The first film has a beautiful explanation that is tied up in the corporate greed of the time (“You moved the tombstones, but you didn’t move the bodies! Didn’t you!?”). They seem to indicate that there is kind of collective of lost souls on the other side which is tempting Carol Anne, which JoBeth Williams has to combat. I don’t know, the beauty of an explanation being unnecessary is a huge part of the charm of the film.
The second one, suddenly the house is built on top of a cemetery which is built on top of a chamber where a cult killed themselves? Now there is a preacher ghost named Kane who is obsessed with Carol Anne? Native Americans are tied up into the story? The film isn’t really that bad, but it isn’t good either.
As far as effects, some are quite good. I thought the braces monster was interesting, and a few of the larger effects as well. A lot is made of the vomit monster, but that was the least impressive to me. Clearly a triple or quadruple amputee in a costume. If they had went stop motion / reversing for some of the build up of the creature (a la Hellraiser) then it would be more impressive.
I guess I’ll throw half a review for the first film here: Loved it. The ability of Spielberg to get performances of very young actors is second to none. And for a film with a grand total of zero deaths, Poltergeist is funny in all the right places, and tense in all the right places, and surprising and unique, etc. I really liked it.
I think this qualifies for a Setting as a Character (Where?) for California. And honestly, I think Carol Anne is the living embodiment of the reverse MacGuffin (Why?) which I’ve just coined. It is basically the thing in a horror film where there is no explanation as to why the villains desperately want the person or thing, but boy golly do they want Carol Anne. This is probably closest to Good if I’m being honest, it still has enough of the original’s charm to coast on it, and some good special effects.
Read about the sequel Poltergeist III: Part 1: The Cult in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Bad Movie Twins 