Oh man, get this. I was an ancient hero, but I’ve been asleep / dead / imprisoned for like 5000 years. Now I can’t remember a thing (and what are these magic phone devices!). Do you remember what happened in Black Adam?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) What mineral does the eeeeevil kind need to create the Crown of MacGuffin … I mean Crown of Sabbac?
2) Obviously Black Adam makes a very good first impression … he killed like one hundred people. Sure they are bad people but still. At the end though he is injured. That isn’t supposed to happen, how does it happen?
3) Oh shit we got a team? Name the four “good guys” who are sent to take on Black Adam.
4) After a bunch of CGI nonsense the kid gets captured. How do they find him again?
5) Oh man, what a twist!! Who is Black Adam really? Who was the real champion of Kahndaq?
Bonus Question: Now that the DCEU is done, my agent is trying to get me to pitch my new comic book mega series to them. What did I decide to make it about?
One year, one blockbuster film, and one Pulitzer later and Patrick and Jamie are ready to launch Project: Jamie in Love (awww). “This is exciting,” Kyle says, bouncing on his heels near where they are preparing their backpacks. “You guys will have to write and tell me all about all the hijinks you get into.” Jamie and Patrick smile. “Why would we write when you’re right there with us?” Kyle’s eyes glitter and he has trouble speaking due to the emotion. “Gee. But… BMT…?” he stammers. Patrick just sweeps his arm across the buzzing BMTHQ offices. “This old place? I think it can handle itself. Love is just a bit important.” They all laugh a whole bunch even though it’s not really a joke. “The key to love is just four easy steps,” Patrick then explains, “That’s how me and the wife found love that has lasted.” “Yeah,” Kyle responds with a smirk, “Lasted a millennium.” They laugh again. God they are killing it. A short time later Jamie and Kyle are following Patrick through Brooklyn. Despite having packed for a long trip it appears that lesson one is right in their backyard (although Jamie can’t say he’s ever been this deep in the back alleys of the city). They stop in front of a store and Patrick turns to face Jamie and Kyle. “The eyes are the windows to the soul,” Patrick announces. “So Lesson #1: Style.” Jamie looks down at his clothes. Sure he’s wearing a sweatshirt from high school… and his sweatpants are also just a different sweatshirt from high school he’s fashioned into rudimentary pants. “But that’s kind of stylish, right?” He asks hopefully and Kyle shakes his head. Jamie looks up at the store: Black Adam’s Black Ties. “Here goes nothing.” That’s right! We are also shopping at Black Adam this week as we use this very special yearlong cycle to smash out some of the greatest franchises we ever missed. Black Adam is the only DC film we had left that qualified for BMT… that is until Aquaman 2 came out. But at least this gets us that one step closer. So for 2022: Black Adam. Let’s go!
Black Adam (2022) – BMeTric: 27.8; Notability: 98
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 15.6%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.3%; Higher BMeT: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild, The Bubble, Brazen, Firestarter, They/Them, Moonfall, Blacklight, Morbius, Pinocchio, Me Time, After Ever Happy, Grimcutty, Umma, The Invitation, Cheaper by the Dozen, Spiderhead, Deep Water, Jurassic World Dominion, and 19 more; Lower RT: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn, After Ever Happy, Me Time, Poker Face, Firestarter, Redeeming Love, Blacklight, Brazen, Last Seen Alive, Morbius, Prey for the Devil, The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild, Prizefighter: The Life of Jem Belcher, The Bubble, On the Line, Home Team, The Man from Toronto, Senior Year, The 355, Grimcutty, and 22 more; Notes: The top Notability. Nice. A lower BMeTric than I would have expected, but I guess fans maybe liked it.
RogerEbert.com – 3.5 stars – “Black Adam” is a superlative and clever example of this sort of movie, coloring within the lines while drawing fascinating doodles on the margins. In its brash, relentless, overscaled way, Collet-Serra’s film respects its audience and wants to be respected by it. “Black Adam” gives the audience everything they wanted, along with things they never expected.
(Wow, we have a few of these. I wonder if we’ve done a four star film before. I wonder how many qualifying four star films there are. Imagine. Imagine if RogerEbert.com gave it four stars.)
(The Justice Society gets more play in this trailer than I expected. I would have imagined they would have been a bit more cagey about making the film introduce like five individual superheroes in a first film. Honestly, this should have been Shazam 2 and it was real dumb they went with the thing they did eventually, but also this stinks of desperately trying to parlay The Suicide Squad into something and failing.)
Directors – Jaume Collet-Serra – (Known For: Non-Stop; Unknown; Orphan; Jungle Cruise; The Shallows; The Commuter; Run All Night; Goal II: Living the Dream; BMT: Black Adam; House of Wax; Notes: He’s basically Liam Neeson and now Dwayne Johnson’s director. It is kind of wild, has done multiple for each and has upcoming films for both.)
Writers – Adam Sztykiel – (Known For: Rampage; Scoob!; Family Switch; Future BMT: Due Date; Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip; BMT: Black Adam; Made of Honor; Notes: Rampage was trach. Family Switch I think may have been a set up for We’re the Millers 2 which he has on the docket.)
Rory Haines and Sohrab Noshirvani – (Known For: The Mauritanian; BMT: Black Adam; Notes: The Mauritanian was quite well received and even had some awards buzz from what I remember.)
Bill Parker and C.C. Beck – (Notes: They were co-creators of the Marvel Family and many other Fawcett properties. So they have credits on a bunch of these.)
Jack Kirby – (Known For: The Avengers; Avengers: Endgame; Avengers: Infinity War; Iron Man; Avengers: Age of Ultron; Thor; Iron Man 3; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Iron Man 2; Captain America: Civil War; Black Panther; Thor: Ragnarok; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; Thor: The Dark World; Ant-Man; Captain Marvel; The Incredible Hulk; Ant-Man and the Wasp; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Thor: Love and Thunder; BMT: Justice League; Fantastic Four; Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer; Fantastic Four; Notes: Ah, you know Kirby by now. I’ve probably written like four bios for him. He’s arguably the best comic book writer in history.)
Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster– (Known For: Man of Steel; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Superman Returns; Superman; The Lego Batman Movie; Superman II; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Teen Titans GO! To the Movies; Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut; The Death and Return of Superman; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Justice League; Superman III; Superman IV: The Quest for Peace; Notes: C’mon now. They created Superman. So … yeah, they were the big DC guys before there was even DC.)
Actors – Dwayne Johnson – (Known For: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle; Free Guy; Fast & Furious 6; Furious 7; Fast Five; Moana; The Mummy Returns; Red Notice; The Other Guys; Jumanji: The Next Level; San Andreas; The Fate of the Furious; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; Pain & Gain; Get Smart; Central Intelligence; Jungle Cruise; Rampage; Hercules; The Scorpion King; Future BMT: Planet 51; You Again; Tooth Fairy; Reno 911!: Miami; Why Did I Get Married Too?; Jem and the Holograms; BMT: Black Adam; Baywatch; G.I. Joe: Retaliation; Doom; Walking Tall; The Game Plan; Be Cool; Notes: Apparently tapped to portray Doc Savage, so he is running it back it would seem. Not a real superhero, but was a “superman” or sorts. Then he has like twenty sequels in various stages of development.)
Aldis Hodge – ( Known For: Die Hard with a Vengeance; Hidden Figures; The Invisible Man; Straight Outta Compton; Happy Feet; The Ladykillers; The East; One Night in Miami…; What Men Want; Edmond; Brian Banks; Clemency; Magic Camp; Green Lantern: Beware My Power; Red Sands; The Birthday Cake; The Tenants; Little Athens; Future BMT: Jack Reacher: Never Go Back; American Dreamz; Bed of Roses; BMT: Black Adam; A Good Day to Die Hard; Big Momma’s House; Notes: Oddly played two different people in the two Die Hard films he appeared in.)
Pierce Brosnan – ( Known For: The World’s End; Mrs. Doubtfire; Mamma Mia!; GoldenEye; Mars Attacks!; Die Another Day; The World Is Not Enough; Tomorrow Never Dies; Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief; The Ghost Writer; The Foreigner; Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again; Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga; The Thomas Crown Affair; No Escape; The Matador; Cinderella; Survivor; A Long Way Down; The Out-Laws; Future BMT: Remember Me; Dante’s Peak; The November Man; After the Sunset; Laws of Attraction; I Don’t Know How She Does It; Love Affair; BMT: Black Adam; The Lawnmower Man; The King’s Daughter; Notes: Mother flipping Dante’s Peak. Excited for that eventually. He was James Bond. His first wife is a sad story, both her and her daughter died of ovarian cancer at 41.)
Budget/Gross – $190–260 million / Domestic: $168,152,111 (Worldwide: $393,452,111)
(Like … kind of okay actually? Domestically weak, but overall if it is hitting that lower budget number it is kind of okay. Better than I expected given what I remembered from the release.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 38% (117/304): Black Adam may end up pointing the way to an exciting future for DC films, but as a standalone experience, it’s a wildly uneven letdown.
(It … did not. As a matter of fact, it was pretty much a death knell in the end, because any good will they got from The Suicide Squad disappeared and the DCEU was basically immediately handed over to James Gunn.)
Reviewer Highlight: A dull, listless superhero movie that hits all the expected touchstones of the genre under the guise of a transgressive new antihero story. – Maya Phillips, New York Times
(The Rock starring other people. I do like the effort here, though. Artistic flair and some nice font. No idea what this would be about though. What is a Black Adam, I would ponder. B-)
Tagline(s) – Power born from rage. (C)
(Meh.)
Keyword(s) – 2015-2023
Top 10: Joker (2019), Avengers: Endgame (2019), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Deadpool (2016), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015), Parasite (2019), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), The Martian (2015), The Revenant (2015)
Future BMT: 84.8 Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 79.3 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 78.8 Black Christmas (2019), 75.9 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.6 The Grudge (2020), 73.6 The Turning (2020), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.7 Snatched (2017), 68.7 Norm of the North (2016), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.3 Meet the Blacks (2016), 67.0 Max Steel (2016), 66.4 The Disappointments Room (2016), 66.2 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.7 Brahms: The Boy II (2020), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 63.4 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.7 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.1 Like a Boss (2020), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015)
BMT: The Emoji Movie (2017), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Slender Man (2018), Fantastic Four (2015), Holmes & Watson (2018), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Rings (2017), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Zoolander 2 (2016), The Gallows (2015), The Boy Next Door (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Fantasy Island (2020), The Exorcist: Believer (2023), Firestarter (2022), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Expend4bles (2023), Moonfall (2022), After We Fell (2021), Blacklight (2022), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Hot Pursuit (2015), Morbius (2022), The 5th Wave (2016), Hellboy (2019), The Snowman (2017), … (and many more)
Best Options (Action): 70.7 Snatched (2017), 67.0 Max Steel (2016), 57.8 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 57.3 The New Mutants (2020), 57.0 Robin Hood (2018), 50.7 Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016), 50.6 Halloween Kills (2021), 49.4 Blackhat (2015), 48.3 Vanguard (2020), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 47.8 The Dark Tower (2017), 46.1 Samson (2018), 45.8 The Rhythm Section (2020), 44.9 A-X-L (2018), 44.1 Allegiant (2016), 44.0 Gemini Man (2019), 43.7 The 355 (2022), 43.1 Underworld: Blood Wars (2016), 42.7 Pan (2015), 42.1 Chaos Walking (2021), 41.6 Breaking In (2018), 41.1 The Marksman (2021), 40.9 The Kitchen (2019), 38.4 Ratchet & Clank (2016), 38.1 Morgan (2016), 38.0 Freelance (2023), 37.2 The Great Wall (2016), 36.7 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016), 36.6 Monster Trucks (2016), 36.0 Collide (2016), 35.6 Captive (2015), 33.6 Kin (2018), 32.3 Honest Thief (2020), 31.8 The Machine (2023), 31.5 Traffik (2018), 30.9 Miss Bala (2019), 30.7 Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016), 30.5 Mortal Engines (2018), 30.5 Birth of the Dragon (2016), 30.4 The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016), 30.3 7 Days in Entebbe (2018), 29.5 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023), 28.9 The Girl in the Spider’s Web (2018), 28.0 Medieval (2022), 27.8 Black Adam (2022), … (and many more)
(So that’s the thing, it is probably actually the best 2022 option. And we love franchises, so finally having an excuse to watch a boatload of DCEU films was too hard to pass up. If you can’t tell, we are doing one movie for each year, so 2022 was needed and was a weak year.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dwayne Johnson is No. 1 billed in Black Adam and No. 1 billed in Walking Tall, which also stars Neal McDonough (No. 3 billed) who is in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (No. 3 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) + (2 + 2) = 12. There is no shorter path at the moment.
Notes – Jordan Peele was originally offered the chance to direct the film when it was first announced in 2017, but Peele declined, saying, “I’m not a fan of superhero movies and I’d hate to take that chance away from a director who is passionate about them.”
While Black Adam and Captain Marvel speak the same name of the wizard Shazam as an acronym to activate their powers, in the case of Captain Marvel the acronym stands for the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury. In the case of Black Adam, the acronym stands for the stamina of Shu, the swiftness of Horus, the strength of Amon, the wisdom of Zehuti, the power of Aton, and the courage of Mehen.
Dwayne Johnson once asked his fans which character he should play, superhero Shazam or supervillain Black Adam. His fans chose Black Adam.
Black Adam was originally going to appear in Shazam! (2019), but it was later decided he would debut in his own film.
The film originally received an R rating due to several gruesome death scenes. A majority of these deaths had to be cut before the film could receive the more commercially viable PG-13 rating.
I’ve been impressed while researching these cycles at our recent hit rate of BMT films. A big part of that is the decline in the raw numbers, but still… we’ve watched a lot of films that make me go “Oh yeah, we watched that, didn’t we?” That said there are still some we will be missing from 2018 even after picking up The Happytime Murders. Robin Hood is almost certainly the most significant. I forgot how bad the reviews for that were, so I can’t believe we haven’t caught it yet. Peppermint starring Jennifer Garner is a Death Wish knockoff that happened to come out the same year as the Death Wish reboot, which is interesting. Finally, fitting right in with the franchise theme of the year would have been The Cloverfield Paradox. So why The Happytime Murders? We were in the market for a comedy and I recall this being a big time swing and miss. I’m also always curious when the pedigree of something like this is so high how exactly it went wrong. That being said… I think I’d rather be watching Robin Hood.
To recap, Phil Phillips is a former puppet cop now working as a P.I. Twelve years earlier he washed out as the first puppet detective after it was deemed that he purposefully missed shooting a puppet criminal resulting in the death of a bystander. When a new client, Sandra, comes in, a beautiful puppet claiming that she’s being blackmailed, he knows she’s going to be trouble but takes the case anyway. The clues she gives him leads him to a porn shop where, while he’s collecting evidence, someone comes in and shoots up the place killing an acquaintance of Phil’s. This gets him mixed back up with his former partner, Melissa McCarthy. Soon after, Phil’s brother is ripped to shreds in what looks like an accident, but Phil and McCarthy know better. Phil’s acquaintance and brother both worked on a kid’s show called The Happytime Gang. Each time they track down another of the former stars of the show they coincidentally are there right when the puppet gets killed. Or is it a coincidence? Seems not, as Phil is soon implicated in the murder when his former flame, and only human member of the show, is killed in a car explosion and Sandra points the finger at him. Phil is arrested, but McCarthy teams up with his secretary to find evidence that Sandra is actually the daughter of the man Phil accidentally killed using the frameup as revenge. After the evidence is destroyed, she breaks Phil out of jail so that they can stop Sandra before she flees the country. They get to the airport just in time and Phil is able to shoot Sandra without any collateral damage (starring Arnold Schwarzenegger). THE END
If that recap seems bereft of jokes that’s partly because the film also was oddly serious. All the jokes were visual puppet gags or a serious line meant to evoke a laugh because a puppet is saying it. I can’t tell if McCarthy is improvising lines trying to get some jokes in there or if she’s just saying what is written. Regardless, the jokes mostly boil down to “Idiot say what?” and then someone saying “what?”. It feels bad saying that the film isn’t funny because it is ridiculously impressive. If this was just an attempt by Brian Henson to prove that you could make whatever movie you want using puppets it’s mission accomplished. The best part of the film ais the behind the scenes stuff they put in the credits. I could have watched a full documentary of that. The problem is almost everything else about the film is below average.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Phil actually did do it. Think about it. He’s clearly still in love with his ex-flame. Turns out she didn’t die at all, but instead it was all a ruse to get all the Happytime Gang out of the way so she and her new lover Sandra could take the money for themselves. Sandra never kills her though. She just knocks her out as she tries to make her escape. So guess who gets that sweet cash when all is said and done? Phil and her were in cahoots! You might be like “but Jamie, didn’t he ask his secretary out at the end?” Sure, but doesn’t he have to? He can’t go smooching his gal until she’s let off the hook for being Sandra’s unwitting pawn. What a dastardly plan by Phil. (Hey, it makes as much sense as the actual plot). Hot Take Temperature: Miss Piggy.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about puppets having sex and cursing and that being the entire premise of a film?! Let’s go!
Slight buddy-cop comedies are usually pretty fun, because there is a lot to poke fun at with old-time noir films and it is easy to riff on the beats of those old films as they can be quite peculiar and specific. I had fun with that aspect of the story.
I also get that the film isn’t funny. It isn’t. I don’t know if I laughed once. There are clever moments. And there are reasonably amusing improvised bits by McCarthy (her snatching a charger off a guy’s desk and saying it is her charger and he never asks for it for example) which kind of work because she’s good at improvisation. But otherwise you are left wondering a little bit how such a nothing script was created for a complicated film.
It would be like if the central mystery of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? was just a nothing mystery that you barely had to care about, with a dumb villain and a dumb resolution. The very complicated construction of putting live action into cartoons would suddenly seem like a waste.
That’s what happens here. Everything is incredibly complicated and incredibly well put together, but it all seems like a waste because in the end the story is a nothing story and there aren’t any funny jokes.
Perhaps the idea should have been similar to Roger Rabbit. The puppets are second class citizens who live in a segregated part of town, and the mystery involves a question of what a human was doing in the puppet town in the first place. The issue of course is that puppets aren’t wacky cartoons, and Jim Henson spent decades with the Muppets who ultimately just seem like regular people with regular jobs. So I don’t know.
Regardless, vaguely amusing, but a waste and not really worth one’s time sadly.
As a New Years’ resolution I’m not going to highlight dumb product placement anymore, and so this didn’t have any good ones. Setting as a Character (Where?) for Hollywood in general. I’m going to throw a MacGuffin (Why?) in there as the contract for syndication money related to Happytime being the main motivator for the events in the film. And a true Worst Twist (How?) nominee for the extremely obvious bit whereby the original Femme Fatale is the bad guy and also that the car explosion was faked, instantly knew both when they happened, couldn’t have been any other way. The film is closest to Bad, very much a not-recommend from me in general.
Hear about my new idea for a Muppet parody film in the quiz though. Cheerios,
Oh man, so get this. I’m a puppet. And I live in a world of puppets. But I just had a run in with some vicious (-ly cute) Boston Terriers and now I’m all torn to shreds and can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Happytime Murders?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) Let’s just nip this one in the bud right off the bat: why is Phil Phillips no longer on the force?
2) And why is Detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) addicted to sugar now?
3) So obviously the film is about some titular Happytime Murders, but what is the original reason Sandra White hires Phil?
4) In the end the entire cast of The Happytime Gang are murdered except for one. How are all of them murdered?
5) What is all this about? Why are people getting murdered (by Sandra BTW if that wasn’t obvious)?
Bonus Question: My agent just got a call asking me to write the next big adult puppet film. What am I going to write it about?
“I’m sorry,” Patrick says, seeing how much it was hurting Jamie to leave his maze brides behind. “I know,” he answers, eyes looking longingly into the middle distance. “Just when it seems I find love it turns out to be too good to be true. It just hurts so much.” Patrick puts a hand on his shoulder. “It only hurts because you experienced true love. Love blurs the lines between pain and pleasure.” With that they steel themselves and go through the Reverse Exorcism process.
Suddenly, Jamie and Patrick awaken from their hypnotic slumber in the Antiquities Room. They immediately transition into a patented Twin Chop, only to stop themselves inches from totally owning the valet’s jugular. “Where’s Luigi? Where’s our mother?” They ask, looking frantically around the room. They are informed that shortly after entering a fugue state their mother entered and fired Luigi as part of her long con to get him indicted for fraud in Italy’s high court. Luigi was unceremoniously carted off and they proceeded to have an hour long conversation with their mother. This conversation went well, they all had dinner together, and then they were returned to the Antiquities Room so that once they awoke they wouldn’t be startled by their surroundings and tear their own eyes out. “So did she tell us what to do?” Patrick asks with great anticipation. The valet nods. “Do what you love,” he answers simply. Halfway through putting on his cable knit sweater, though, Patrick notices that Jamie isn’t doing the same. “BMT is what we love,” he says encouragingly and Jamie nods. “I know, but I don’t just want to do what I love… I want love.” Patrick understands. They agree to get BMT running and then they’ll venture forth to find Jamie true happiness. True love. That’s right! We are finding true happiness with the “muppets gone bad” film, The Happytime Murders. This is the beginning of 2024’s experiment in cycles. For the first time all the cycles are connected. We are proceeding through time picking up some of the best BMT films we missed from each year going back to 1983. The Happytime Murders is the 2018 entry for the 2015-2023 cycle. Let’s go!
The Happytime Murders (2018) – BMeTric: 45.9; Notability: 60
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 11.2%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 13.4%; Higher BMeT: Slender Man, The Open House, Holmes & Watson, Escape Plan 2: Hades, Fifty Shades Freed, Swiped, Siberia, The Titan, How It Ends, Gotti, Truth or Dare, The Nun, The Predator, Fahrenheit 451, Robin Hood, The Strangers: Prey at Night, The Possession of Hannah Grace, The Week Of, The 15:17 to Paris, Replicas, and 8 more; Higher Notability: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, Venom, The Predator, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms; Lower RT: Gotti, Father of the Year, Billionaire Boys Club, Escape Plan 2: Hades, Slender Man, Holmes & Watson, The Professor, Replicas, Fifty Shades Freed, Siberia, Peppermint, The Open House, Little Italy, Winchester, Life Itself, Robin Hood, The Darkest Minds, The Kissing Booth, Look Away, Truth or Dare, and 13 more; Notes: The higher Notability films are hilarious, we’ve basically not seen any of those. I actually can’t believe we haven’t seen Gotti yet … kind of too bad we didn’t hit up After Everything last cycle because I think Gotti would be an obvious choice. Barely doesn’t qualify with a 503 widest release. The Notability on this film is off the chain though.
RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – One doesn’t need to concern oneself too much with plot, what with all the puppet hijinks. They begin with the foul language, but in due time, we see puppets whose forms are pretty familiar—fluffy bunnies, frisky doggies, a porn shop proprietor that looks like a relative of Sam The Eagle gone severely to seed, and so on—doing generally unexpected things, like flashing pubic hair and ejaculating. Is this funny? The screening I attended did not exactly rollick with laughter, and I found scenes of humorous human interaction, such as an evidence hunt embarked on by McCarthy and Maya Rudolph, playing Phil’s loyal secretary, more amusing than the puppet stuff. But I don’t want to come down too hard on this movie, because even though it doesn’t work, the high spirits with which it was made seem unaffected. Which means that if you’re susceptible to such an atmosphere, particularly such a one as McCarthy and friends can create (other human cast members include Elizabeth Banks and Joel McHale; among the puppeteers is Kevin Clash, one of the original handlers of Elmo), you might get a kick out of it. But don’t bring the kids. Seriously. Just don’t.
(I think this review. I think this film is going to end up being “amusing, but not funny, with a conceit so out there you desperately hope it is funny” … and you end up quite disappointed which is where the bad reviews come from. That’s what I hope at least.)
(Yeah that trailer only doesn’t really work because you would, presumably, want to bust out one actually good joke if you had one. It makes me suspicious that this is a joke-free shock comedy which tends to just be aggravating.)
Directors – Brian Henson – ( Known For: The Muppet Christmas Carol; Muppet Treasure Island; BMT: The Happytime Murders; Notes: Yeah the son of Jim Henson, and this was supposed to start a series of alternative muppet films (basically) but it never happened after this financially flopped.)
Writers – Todd Berger – ( Known For: The Curse of Bridge Hollow; It’s a Disaster; The Scenesters; BMT: The Happytime Murders; Notes: From New Orleans and started his production company Voodoo Productions there while in high school and he still uses the name.)
Dee Austin Robertson – (BMT: The Happytime Murders; Notes: An interesting case, she has two different The Movie Database profiles … wait, did I say interesting?)
Actors – Melissa McCarthy – ( Known For: Thor: Love and Thunder; Bridesmaids; Spy; Ghostbusters; Central Intelligence; Charlie’s Angels; The Heat; This Is 40; The Little Mermaid; Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle; St. Vincent; Go; Can You Ever Forgive Me?; Thunder Force; The Kid; The Nines; White Oleander; The Starling; Superintelligence; Pumpkin; Future BMT: The Hangover Part III; Identity Thief; Life as We Know It; The Life of David Gale; The Back-up Plan; The Boss; Life of the Party; The Kitchen; Drowning Mona; BMT: Tammy; The Happytime Murders; Notes: An odd career. Obviously cut her teeth on television in things like Gilmore Girls and Mike & Molly. Then had her big break with Bridesmaids. Became a bona fide comedy A-lister, but that kind of crapped out with her husband often at the helm. But meanwhile she has had a rather impressive dramatic career now in things like Can You Ever Forgive Me? Just very interesting.)
Elizabeth Banks – ( Known For: Catch Me If You Can; The Hunger Games; Spider-Man; The Hunger Games: Catching Fire; Spider-Man 2; Spider-Man 3; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1; The 40-Year-Old Virgin; The Lego Movie; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2; Pitch Perfect; Role Models; The Next Three Days; Zack and Miri Make a Porno; Definitely, Maybe; Pitch Perfect 2; Power Rangers; Brightburn; Our Idiot Brother; Slither; Future BMT: Man on a Ledge; The Uninvited; Pitch Perfect 3; Fred Claus; Meet Dave; BMT: Movie 43; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; The Happytime Murders; Notes: Now a pretty major director with things like Pitch Perfect 3 and Cocaine Bear. I wouldn’t be surprised if she busts out a fairly serious Indie hit in the next few years that gets her some serious awards consideration … or maybe she’ll just be a director for hire and make a boatload making things like Cocaine Bear.)
Maya Rudolph – ( Known For: Big Hero 6; 50 First Dates; Shrek the Third; Gattaca; As Good as It Gets; Bridesmaids; Luca; Idiocracy; The Way Way Back; Licorice Pizza; Booksmart; The Mitchells vs the Machines; Inherent Vice; Turbo; The Angry Birds Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Sisters; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Hubie Halloween; Away We Go; Future BMT: Duplex; Life of the Party; The Nut Job; Strange Magic; The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature; BMT: Grown Ups; Grown Ups 2; The Emoji Movie; Zookeeper; CHIPS; The Happytime Murders; Notes: She’s hilarious in everything. I particularly like her ad the dead wife in MacGruber, but she is all over the place writing and acting. Oh and she’s married to Paul Thomas Anderson.)
(Yeah catastrophic. At least I can imagine where the money goes to. Making puppets and elaborate sets for puppeteers to operate in.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (58/248): The Happytime Murders wastes its intriguingly transgressive premise on a witless comedy that blindly pushes buttons instead of attempting to tell an entertaining story.
(Boo. This is exactly what one would fear it would be. Hopefully with a bit of distance and lowered expectations the film can still be a bit entertaining at least.)
Reviewer Highlight: The plot should be an excuse for comic invention, but it mostly just gets in the way, which makes me think that a feature film isn’t really what Phil and his ilk need or deserve. – A.O. Scott, New York Times
(I don’t mind this. Color, font, and puppets. All intriguing so it does its job despite being a typical star-driven, not artistic style poster. I kinda wish it was more old school… playing on the muppets more. But this is fine. Just not much flair. C+.)
Tagline(s) – No Sesame. All Street. (A)
Sex. Murder. Puppets. (A-)
(The first one is the one they got in trouble for. The second one is what replaced it. I think both are pretty good actually. Fun, short, and clever. The first one is the better of the two… unfortunately for their legal team.)
Keyword(s) – 2015-2023
Top 10: Avengers: Endgame (2019), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Deadpool (2016), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015), Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015), Parasite (2019), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), The Martian (2015), The Revenant (2015), Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Future BMT: 84.6 Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 79.3 Jeepers Creepers III (2017), 78.7 Black Christmas (2019), 75.9 Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022), 74.6 The Grudge (2020), 73.6 The Turning (2020), 71.1 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.7 Snatched (2017), 68.6 Norm of the North (2016), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.3 Meet the Blacks (2016), 67.0 Max Steel (2016), 66.4 The Disappointments Room (2016), 66.2 God’s Not Dead 2 (2016), 64.6 Brahms: The Boy II (2020), 64.5 Blair Witch (2016), 63.4 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.6 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.1 Like a Boss (2020), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015)
BMT: Cats (2019), The Emoji Movie (2017), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), Slender Man (2018), Fantastic Four (2015), Holmes & Watson (2018), Fifty Shades of Black (2016), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Fifty Shades Darker (2017), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Rings (2017), The Bye Bye Man (2017), Zoolander 2 (2016), The Gallows (2015), The Boy Next Door (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), Fantasy Island (2020), The Exorcist: Believer (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Expend4bles (2023), Moonfall (2022), After We Fell (2021), Blacklight (2022), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), Hot Pursuit (2015), Morbius (2022), The 5th Wave (2016), Hellboy (2019), The Snowman (2017), Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021), Truth or Dare (2018), The Curse of La Llorona (2019), … (and many more)
Best Options (Comedy): 70.7 Snatched (2017), 68.6 Norm of the North (2016), 68.3 Meet the Blacks (2016), 63.4 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.6 Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017), 61.1 Like a Boss (2020), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 53.8 Just Getting Started (2017), 53.2 Aloha (2015), 52.3 Playing with Fire (2019), 52.2 Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (2017), 51.7 The Boss (2016), 49.2 Action Point (2018), 48.3 Vanguard (2020), 48.1 Sherlock Gnomes (2018), 47.8 Men in Black: International (2019), 46.0 Nobody’s Fool (2018), 45.9 The Happytime Murders (2018), … (and many more)
(Not as far down as I would imagine. We were somewhat limited to 2018 in the end and the other options (Action Point and Sherlock Gnomes) were borderline as far as genre in my opinion. This has some serious Razzie cred though, so it works. I do like that we are pretty even on all the years, and it does truly show the issue we are facing with BMT going forward.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Melissa McCarthy is No. 1 billed in The Happytime Murders and No. 1 billed in Tammy, which also stars Susan Sarandon (No. 2 billed) who is in That’s My Boy (No. 3 billed) which also stars Adam Sandler (No. 1 billed) who is in Jack and Jill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 16. If we were to watch The Kitchen, and Like a Boss we can get the HoE Number down to 13.
Notes – Sesame Workshop sued the team behind the film for the tagline, “No sesame. All street,” claiming that the film tarnishes their reputation. The suit was rejected on May 30, 2018. Soon after, STX issued a brief statement, “We fluffing love Sesame Street (1969) and we’re obviously very pleased that the ruling reinforced what STX’s intention was from the very beginning – to honor the heritage of The Jim Henson Company’s previous award-winning creations while drawing a clear distinction between any Muppets or Sesame Street characters and the new world Brian Henson and team created. We believe we accomplished that with the very straightforward NO SESAME, ALL STREET tagline. We look forward to continued happytimes as we prepare to release Happytime Murders this summer.” Some TV spots for the film started with “From the studio that was sued by Sesame Street…”
A total of 125 puppets are in the film, with 40 specifically created for it. All of the sets were built so that puppeteers could stand on the floor and operate the puppets as if they were standing with straight arms. The floor of the sets came up in pieces, so the human actors had a two-foot margin to stay on their path.
Officer Donny, the cop, is Melissa McCarthy’s real-life husband, Ben Falcone. The couple has appeared in several movies together including: The Nines (2007), Bridesmaids (2011), Identity Thief (2013), The Heat (2013), Tammy (2014), Spy (2015) and The Boss (2016), The Life of The Party (2018).
This is the first theatrical film Brian Henson has directed since Muppet Treasure Island (1996).
Brian Henson’s worst day on set was when he had to play Crab. He had to be inside a trash can so that he could direct while operating and voice Crab. While he was in there, he suddenly felt something cold and liquid creeping down his back. A crew member who thought it was a real trash can had carelessly thrown in a half-full bottle of beer.
Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture
Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Melissa McCarthy)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Joel McHale)
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Combo
Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Brian Henson)
I have obviously seen the first Exorcist a few times over the years. Always great. I didn’t find The Exorcist scary, really, but I liked the tone and the effects. It was high brow crossed with genre. Anyway, I had never seen the second or the third. The second has the reputation of being one of the worst films of all time. For the first thirty minutes I didn’t disagree with that. It is hilarious. A shoddy moneygrab designed to ruin a franchise. But then this kind of wild Africa storyline started and I was turned around a little. It was just different and looked pretty cool with particular filmmaking flourishes that I dug. It’s not good (it ruined the franchise for a reason) but it wasn’t the worst of all time. As for the third, I was surprised I didn’t like it more. I enjoyed some horror aspects that felt more modern than other entries in the series… serial killers popping out of places and stuff. The problem is that it’s a little schlocky. George C. Scott is well past his prime and just chowing down on the scenery. So it plays like it’s made-for-TV. Felt a little cheap, beyond the studio-forced ending that everyone disliked. So that’s where I was for The Exorcist: Believer reboot attempt (we left the prequels for later).
To recap, Victor is a single dad raising his daughter Angela. He has lost faith after losing his wife in the 2010 Haiti earthquake, but Angela wants to feel connected to her. She goes out in the woods with a friend, Katherine, in order to summon her spirit but instead they summon something else. After several days missing they show up largely unharmed, but behaving strangely. That’s only the beginning as each girl exhibits all kinds of strange marks on their bodies and behavior once they are taken home. With the help of some neighbors, Victor tracks down Chris MacNeil, who wrote a book about exorcisms. She agrees to help them, but when she goes to see Katherine she is stabbed repeatedly in the eyes and ends up in the hospital. The parents and neighbors decide to do the exorcism themselves, even when their local priest is told by the church that he can’t participate. Things… don’t go well. The priest comes in and is killed immediately. The neighbor who decided to take on the exorcism is immediately like “oh shit, I don’t know what I’m doing.” When the girls, under the possession of the demon, propose that they must choose a girl to live and one to die, they are all aghast. They panic except for Victor. It seems like he has finally given in to belief in the divine, as well as belief that the demon is a liar. But Katherine’s father isn’t as calm and ends up dooming his child by choosing her. Katherine is sucked into the demon realm, while Angela awakens unharmed. THE END (or is it? I genuinely don’t know).
I’m gonna come out strong on this one. I think it’s terrible. Feels to me like one of the many subpar demon possession horror films that come out regularly every year. Except this one also has a bunch of random Exorcist elements shoehorned in so that it gets the honor of being included in the series. But it’s not better than those films and only suffers with those strained connections to the series. I can’t even tell if they added the Exorcist stuff in at the end or if they cut a bunch of it out… or maybe this is how it was supposed to be. But given the way they connected it to the series, the film really only works if you make up some larger Exorcist story that it will eventually exist within. But that also means that it doesn’t work on its own and now with the film doing so poorly there would really be a question of whether the rest of the films will even be made. What a disaster.
Hot Take Clam Bake! One little problem with the film. Demonic possession isn’t real. So the girls are obviously faking it and the people would all be indicted for murder (for both the priest and for Katherine). This is actually my biggest problem with horror in general. It’s not real… so why am I scared? People just need to remember that and they’ll be fine. Don’t even get me started on Science Fiction. It’s got “fiction” in the name, people. Get a grip. Hot Take Temperature: Hellfire.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about a legacy-quel of what some people consider to be the greatest film of all time, but totally botched and borderline offense? Let’s go!
I have a few reviews to do as there was quite a bit of homework. I saw the original Exorcist years ago and loved it. Mainly I liked the interplay between the truly frightening depiction of the hospital and equipment that the men of science are using to try their own “exorcism” of disease, and the religious supernatural and the acceptance of it by Chris. I don’t necessarily think it is particularly scary, but that seems to depend highly on whether one was religious growing up.
The second is kind of a mess with a huge own goal in trying to involved Regan again when that feels totally unnecessary. Either you can deal with a different iteration of Pazuzu, a different demon, or an anthology version of things with a world whereby the exorcist exists in the mind, but dealing with a different idea. They choose none of those and instead make a direct sequel in which we have to buy into Regan being some supernatural healing avatar and Pazuzu specifically targeting those people. There is some nice stuff with Africa and locusts and James Earl Jones. And I’m probably in the minority in which I thought the hypnotism machine was an interesting extension of the theme of science vs religion from the first film, even though they overused it. Overall, it isn’t a great film, but it didn’t seem as big of a disaster as some of the reviews suggested.
The third though I can see why people dig it even though I’m pretty sure I watched the theatrical cut (and my understanding is the director’s cut is where it is at). Written and directed by the writer of The Exorcist and based off of his third book in a trilogy about exorcism ist takes the third route. Set in the same world it posits that at the moment of Father Kerras’ death on the famous staircase at the end of the first film Pazuzu placed the soul of a serial killer killed that very night called the Gemini Killer (and based off of the Zodiac Killer). Fifteen years later a detective and friend of Kerras starts seeing the M.O. of the Gemini Killer in the murders of others with a name that starts with K. In the end it is revealed that Gemini, in the guise of Kerras, has been in a lunatic asylum as it has taken 15 years for him to regain the ability to talk and move. Over the years he has developed a supernatural ability to commune with and manipulate dementia patients to do his bidding and so that is how several people are killed. In the end there is something like an exorcism as the detective shoots the undead Kerras in his cell and stops Gemini from killing again. The film is really quite interesting with new themes and an interesting take on the serial killer thriller. The main issue? Not scary and, as a matter of fact, unintentionally funny whenever the director tries his hand at being scary. Almost certainly an issue with this only being his second film. But he does, obviously, understand The Exorcist and I kind of dug it in the end.
Which then brings us to Believer … it is just one of those things where it seems like to me that Green and McBride probably understood what they were doing and the theme they were going for was effectively: the church is dead, so what do you do when there is nowhere to turn in a time of great religious need? And I think the ultimate conclusion was going to be the father (an atheist of sorts) saves his daughter with faith and love of his own kind (while the other child, the child of what could be construed as evangelicals, is not returned). If I were to field a guess this movie was noted to death and the producers flat rejected what they thought would be an antagonistic message. This is all speculation though, Green and McBride are from the South, so maybe they were going for something a bit more that speed. I wouldn’t know. It just seems like the film was cobbled together from a thousand mixed messages and ultimately doesn’t work.
Setting as a Character (Where?) for Georgia as that plays into some of the religious themes of the film. Let’s go for MacGuffin (Why?) for the dead mother motivating the entirety of the seance and subsequent possession by The Deceiver. And Worst Twist (How?) for obviously making the choice of who to save ultimately dooms that child. The movie is Bad I think, kind of boring, muddled, and fails as an entry in the Exorcist franchise.
I feel like there is an Exorcist legacy-quel hidden in here … I’ll write it up in the Quiz, but sure, it definitely also sucks. Why do we try this dumb stuff? Cheerios,
Oh man, so get this. I was out in the woods hunting for Pazuzu as I’m wont to do, when suddenly I was possessed by The Deceiver. Now I’m drinking wine and screaming and I can’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in The Exorcist: Believer?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) The film opens with a real life event. What event?
2) Years later Victor and Angela Fielding are living in Atlanta. The day of his daughter’s disappearance she takes what from the belongings of her late mother?
3) How long are the girls gone for and what were they doing in the woods?
4) Who is involved in the final exorcism?
5) What is the one weird trick that The Deceiver pulls on our heroes right at the end of the exorcism?
Bonus Question: Let’s reboot this thing. What does Pazuzu want this time?
The next day, Patrick twirls his fake mustache in a very believable way. “Yes, well I think that room would do just fine.” He tells Jamie, pointing at a map of Fool’s Paradise, the first and only operating B&B in the interdimensional hell they now reside. Jamie is eyeing him suspiciously. “But you haven’t even seen the rooms yet,” Jamie says, confused. “Well, ahem, yes, well, once I see it, I mean… I’m sure it’ll be quite indubitably satisfactory,” Patrick says, using his substantial improv skillz to save the plan. All he needs to do is show Jamie the book. “Chapter 1: Escaping the Maze” makes it very clear exactly how they can get back to the real world. Jamie narrows his eyes and nods his head back towards the inventory closet. “Are you sure you don’t want this room?” he asks in a hushed tone. At that he grabs Patrick by the arms and pulls him into the closet. He flips on the light and rips the mustache from Patrick’s face. “My mustache! You must be a magician to have pulled a real mustache clean off like that!” Patrick exclaims, nailing the improv once again. Jamie grabs the book from Patrick knapsack and holds it up to the light. “I know when I found it that you must have the other piece of the puzzle,” he says, a note of sadness in his voice. He opens the book to the final page of Chapter 1 and places it in its proper place. Patrick looks back at what the book is saying: “To get out of the maze you must recite these words:” That’s where it had ended. Patrick assumed they could just kind of wing it, but now the words are clear: “The Prayer of Reverse Exorcism.” That’s right! We are doing our own reverse exorcism this week. In that we are watching The Exorcist: Believer and it’s the reverse of being good. A-yo. Let’s go!
The Exorcist: Believer (2023) – BMeTric: 67.0; Notability: 25
StreetCreditReport.com –BMeTric: top 0.4%; Notability: top 6.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.5%; Higher Notability: Rebel Moon: Part One – A Child of Fire, Fool’s Paradise, Ghosted, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, Expend4bles, House Party, Haunted Mansion, Heart of Stone, The Out-Laws, Meg 2: The Trench, Old Dads, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3, 65, Your Place or Mine, White Men Can’t Jump, Vacation Friends 2; Lower RT: Freelance, The Ritual Killer, 57 Seconds, Expend4bles, In the Fire, On a Wing and a Prayer, Fool’s Paradise, The Tutor, Vacation Friends 2, Robots, The Re-Education of Molly Singer, The Out-Laws, Knights of the Zodiac, Mafia Mamma; Notes: The finale for the year. Not a bad crop, but still, we’ll probably have to think through something eventually. It just isn’t pleasurable or sustainable to get 30 films a year and be scrambling around trying desperately to fill out a good slate.
RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – Friedkin excelled on both fronts: the drama and the whammies. The original is still effective because it takes its sweet time establishing characters who seem like real people, then puts them and the audience through a prolonged, brutal ordeal together—one that, at the time, no one had ever seen on a screen before. Clocking in at a relatively breezy 121 minutes in length, “The Exorcist: Believer” is a rare case where a long cut would play better than a short one. Given that the hero and his late wife were photographers, you’d expect photography to play into this film the way sound recording did in the first one, but either the script isn’t interested or just part of the movie got cut down to almost nothing. And there are a lot of underdeveloped themes and elements, including the notion that a culturally divided America needs to come together for the sake of the children, as well as oddly off-brand positive exhortations that everything happens as it should, even trauma, and there would be less evil in the world if we were more emotionally connected to one another. The message at the end isn’t, “The real exorcist is love,” but it almost seems that way.
(Oh boy. Yeah, that jives with a few other reviews I listened to / read. Mainly that it is a little unbelievable that (knowing the filmmakers) the idea is that aw shucks can’t we all just get along … but the movie seems maybe to lean that way unintentionally. Personally I don’t think that is the real message, but I’ll get to that in the recap.)
(I thought the trailer was quite effective and was genuinely pretty surprised when it didn’t hit at least a little bit. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised (horror fans are so persnickety about their favorite franchises, and this is kind of maybe the best of the best in that regard), but I still was.)
Directors – David Gordon Green – ( Known For: Pineapple Express; Halloween; Halloween Ends; Joe; Stronger; Prince Avalanche; Snow Angels; All the Real Girls; Undertow; George Washington; Manglehorn; Future BMT: Your Highness; Halloween Kills; The Sitter; Our Brand Is Crisis; BMT: The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: I’m not sure where he goes from here with his direction. One would hope he’d find something that maybe he could put his stamp on, but it really seems like his last few not hitting could become a problem.)
Writers – Peter Sattler – ( Known For: Camp X-Ray; BMT: The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: Kind of a weird filmography. Camp X-Ray is from 2014, and then this is the only other thing really and he directed Camp X-Ray as well.)
David Gordon Green – ( Known For: Halloween; Halloween Ends; Prince Avalanche; Snow Angels; All the Real Girls; Undertow; George Washington; Goat; Future BMT: Halloween Kills; BMT: The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: Grew up in Arkansas, but went to college in North Carolina where he met McBride. A lot of the comedians of a specific era came from North Carolina for some reason.)
Scott Teems – ( Known For: The Quarry; That Evening Sun;; Future BMT: Halloween Kills; Insidious: The Red Door; BMT: The Exorcist: Believer; Firestarter; Notes: Oooof Firestarter. Seems like a Horror punch up guy, which maybe points to one of my theories on the recent Halloween films and this: the studios are maybe noting and overwriting these things and being too careful. But I guess we’ll see if the second Exorcist ever happens and if the series can recover.)
Danny McBride – ( Known For: Halloween; Halloween Ends; The Foot Fist Way; The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter; Future BMT: Your Highness; Halloween Kills; BMT: The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: I find it so weird that he is now one of the faces of modern horror. Just given that he is also a face of modern high-concept comedy as well.)
Actors – Leslie Odom Jr. – ( Known For: Glass Onion; Murder on the Orient Express; Hamilton; The Many Saints of Newark; Red Tails; One Night in Miami…; Harriet; Music; Only; Needle in a Timestack; BMT: The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: Nominated for 2 Oscars, and seems to have been in the original cast of Hamilton as Aaron Burr. Both Oscars were for One Night in Miami… for which he wrote an original song.)
Lidya Jewett – (Known For: Hidden Figures; Wonder; Vivo; Feel the Beat; Nightbooks; BMT: The Exorcist: Believer; The Darkest Minds; Notes: Has been in a trilogy of films called Ivy + Bean.)
Olivia O’Neill – (BMT: The Exorcist: Believer; Notes: Legit this is the only thing she’s really been in, but since the IMDb has the cast list all messed up I figured I would throw her in here since the two possessed girls seemed like important characters.)
Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $65,537,395 (Worldwide: $136,169,912)
(That is really good … The budget was only $30 million? That’s incredible. They are definitely making the next film. I’m honestly surprised there are even rumors the director is going to step away given what a miracle that budget seems to be.)
Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (55/248): The Exorcist: Believer earns points for trying to take the franchise back to its terrifying roots, but a lack of new ideas — and scares — make this an inauspicious start to a planned new trilogy.
(Hmmmmmm, yeah you would think the beginning of a trilogy is the easy bit. It is the middle and (mostly) sticking the landing in the third that is the problem. Bodes poorly.)
Reviewer Highlight: [Green’s former] patience and sensitivity has now been sacrificed to the cannibalism of recycled ideas; and while I don’t begrudge him his success, I do miss the filmmaker he used to be. – Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times
(F. That is awful. Why is it sideways? Why does it appear to be a hastily cropped image from the film? Why is everything else about it boring?)
Tagline(s) – Body and the Blood. (D+)
(So just the thing they say in the trailer? It’s got a little flow to it (thus why it is in the movie) but otherwise I’m not sure what it’s up to. Can’t tell if I’m being a little harsh and it should be a C- or if it’s just bad.)
Keyword(s) – Year 2023
Top 10: Oppenheimer (2023), Barbie (2023), Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023), Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023), Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023), The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023), Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023), Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023), The Flash (2023)
Future BMT: 84.6 Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 48.0 Insidious: The Red Door (2023), 43.8 Fool’s Paradise (2023), 43.5 House Party (2023), 37.2 Paint (2023), 35.8 Freelance (2023), 31.6 The Machine (2023), 27.7 Love Again (2023), 24.9 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023), 20.9 The Marsh King’s Daughter (2023), 18.4 Nefarious (2023), 9.1 The Shift (2023), 9.1 Camp Hideout (2023), 8.8 Back on the Strip (2023), 8.3 Sweetwater (2023)
BMT: The Exorcist: Believer (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Expend4bles (2023), 65 (2023), Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023), Retribution (2023), Hypnotic (2023), My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 (2023), Mafia Mamma (2023), About My Father (2023), Haunted Mansion (2023), Fear (2023)
Best Options (2015-2023): 84.6 Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023), 67.0 The Exorcist: Believer (2023), 48.0 Insidious: The Red Door (2023), 43.8 Fool’s Paradise (2023), 43.5 House Party (2023), 35.8 Freelance (2023), 31.6 The Machine (2023), 27.7 Love Again (2023), 24.9 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023), 20.9 The Marsh King’s Daughter (2023), 9.1 The Shift (2023), 9.1 Camp Hideout (2023), 8.8 Back on the Strip (2023), 8.3 Sweetwater (2023)
(There was no way we were doing Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. As a matter of fact. That might be the last film we ever do for BMT as they pry it from our cold dead fingers.)
Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ellen Burstyn is No. 10 billed in The Exorcist: Believer and No. 2 billed in The Wicker Man, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (10 + 2) + (6 + 1) = 19. There is no shorter path at the moment.
Notes – On William Friedkin’s passing, writer and film critic Ed Whitfield posted this on Twitter(X) and Facebook : “William Friedkin once said to me, ‘Ed, the guy who made those new Halloween sequels is about to make one to my movie, The Exorcist (1973). That’s right, my signature film is about to be extended by the man who made Pineapple Express (2008). I don’t want to be around when that happens. But if there’s a spirit world, and I can come back, I plan to possess David Gordon Green and make his life a living hell.'” Friedkin actually died two months before the movie was released.
Ellen Burstyn had turned down reprising her role and was then offered double the salary. Burstyn thought, “I feel like the devil is asking my price.” She eventually accepted, using the salary to fund an MFA scholarship for actors at Pace University where the Actors Studio teaches the program. Burstyn is a lifelong member of the Actors Studio and a co-president.
Ellen Burstyn stated in an interview shortly before filming began that she accepted the offer to return solely for the money, which she donated to her charity.
Linda Blair, Regan in the original 1973 film, was an advisor on set to the actresses portraying the possessed girls in this film.
At the beginning of the movie, a small sculpted creature can be seen in Angela’s room. This is the same creature Regan drew with wings in the first movie (1973).
Sigh, what are we going to do with you, Chain Reaction. You have survived 70 actors (without repeats, mind you). You constantly get us into trouble. We’re always like “Gah! How can it be that no one in Furry Vengeance was in a qualifying film based on a book?!” (or something). Ultimately we end up having to pick some movie that no one has ever heard of, that was released in 601 theaters, and has four good reviews out of eleven just to move to the next cycle. Then when we get there we realize that the film we used is actually a tiny nothing film filled with nobodies that did nothing and we are scrambling around again like a couple of scrambling people… … … not saying that that happened here… but how can it be that no one in Angels in the Outfield made a better qualifying film in 2023?!
To recap, an anonymous, mute fool is held in an asylum only to be released as they can’t pay for his treatment. He’s dropped in LA where almost immediately he is recognized as the spitting image of a notoriously difficult method actor currently holding up a big Western. In quite the coincidence he is given some work shooting some scenes in the film at the same time the actor goes a little too method and kills himself. Soon he’s been given the name Latte Pronto and has agents and handlers out the wazoo. He’s thrust in a whirlwind romance with the love interest in the film, into starring in a clearly terrible superhero film, and into some violent situations by his costar. This all comes crashing down immediately and he gets a divorce, loses his representation, and loses all his friends… except… Lenny. Lenny is a super down on his luck PR guy who just needs that one client to make it in the biz. He stands by Latte the whole time even though they are both terrible at their jobs. He tries to get Latte a job, but it turns out to be a porno and Lenny (feeling terrible for being so terrible) has a heart attack. Latte feels for his friends, but through circumstances he is led to believe Lenny has died so he goes out to wander the street. He stumbles into saving the life of a homeless man, getting coerced into politics, and then coerced back out of politics until finally he finds Lenny similarly wandering the street. They reunite and Latte for the first time speaks, showing that Lenny’s friendship is beginning to cure him. They walk away together to take on the world. THE END.
Ho boy, we should not have watched this. This isn’t a patented BMT Existential Crisis (BMTEC), a la Fear, but it got close. If only because there is a complete lack of “Why?” to the film as well as a “How?”… as in ‘how did this end up as a wide release film?’ I just really don’t understand why it appears that Charlie Day cashed in all (and maybe more) of his chips in Hollywood to make this film. I could see if the movie had some message that was really close to his heart, but the message is all muddled. So maybe Day just really likes friendship, maybe that’s the message he really wanted to get across in this… Hollywood satire?… Is it a satire? I can’t tell. Anyway, I’ll end by saying that I actually think some of the acting in this is pretty good. Adrien Brody is fun and I generally don’t like Ken Jeong in anything, but this is the best I’ve seen him act in a film. So that helps bring it up from a total zero.
Hot Take Clam Bake! Day is a time traveler. The act of time traveling addled his brain so what we see in the beginning is him coming from the future. At the end he goes off to take on the world with Lenny. What they end up doing is inventing the time machine. They then concoct a plan to go back in time and make Lenny’s dreams come true. Unfortunately they don’t realize the dangers of creating a TIME LOOP and Day’s mental state is fractured and Lenny is killed as they create a TIME CRISIS. The root of this crisis is the fact that the addled Day is taken from the hospital and the original Day, a method actor and future time machine inventor, sees him. This is impossible to handle and he kills himself. Thus sticking the addled Day in a continuous TIME LOOP CRISIS or TLC. Hot Take Temperature: TLC.
Patrick?
Patrick
‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about a first time director given a blank check for no reason and producing what looks like an old-timey Chaplin film with a thousand famous people? Let’s go!
The film is truly wild. It is hard to tell what exactly they were going for. Like, there is a strange mix of both anachronistic stuff (specifically that the big film being produced is a soundstage western, indicating post-war, probably the 50s) and modern stuff (the clear indication that he is tapped for a minor superhero in an MCU equivalent). He is effectively a silent film era actor, but existing in explicitly the modern world complete with takes off of Angelina Jolie etc. It is such a muddled mess that it is no wonder it was at first shelved and ultimately critically panned.
I think the movie would have been far far better served playing it as a joke on old Hollywood, with Day being a quintessential silent film star.
I also was quite confused because the doctor at the beginning basically said he could be led around like a dog, and then for the rest of the film everyone struggles to get him to do anything. It would have worked better if it was specifically more directly about that: a joke on how the Hollywood Machine consumes young actors, makes them into stars by manipulating them, declares them geniuses, and then spits them out. That message is kind of there, but everyone knows Pronto is terrible at acting and is quite frustrated by it. It would have been funnier if they were like “move there and say this” and then when he did they were like “brilliant!” and then the ultimate joke is while they are all smelling their own farts and loving his acting (i.e. their acting) audiences hate him and they can’t figure out why. You see … basically poking fun at the Hollywood Machine and the finicky nature of trying to understand the audience’s whims and wants.
And ultimately you would think a part of the film would be the cycle of consuming actors, chewing them up, and spitting them out via a final scene in which Day returns to the mental institution and they reveal that he’s actually come and gone a few times now, and they don’t know where he goes, and thus Latte Pronto is just one iteration of the world taking in and manipulating him.
It alllllllmost sounds like I’m defending the film, but if you squint you’ll notice I’m actually describing a different, maybe better, film. Fool’s Paradise is a mess and while the actors are game the whole thing never really coalesces around a message and so you end up wondering why you are wasting time on this film in the first place.
Also the film is 100 minutes when it could have and should have been 85 with credits merely by cutting out all of the bad bits involving Charlie Day’s friends, but I can see why he would be resistant to that. It is crazy though, it is a veritable who’s who of actors who are frequent guest stars on It’s Always Sunny passing through each scene.
Obviously a Setting as a Character (Where?) for Hollywood which the film is gently making fun of throughout. And I think the film is closest to Bad as it is just so long and not funny and weird as to be unpleasant.
Uh … I guess I’ll make a sequel to Fool’s Paradise? That’s in the Quiz. Cheerios,
Oh man, so I’m actually like … brain damaged it turns out. Probably from the years and years worth of concussions I’ve sustained while doing BMT. But that isn’t here no there because I can become a Hollywood star! Do you remember what happened in Fool’s Paradise?
Pop Quiz Hot Shot!
1) We meet our hero at a mental institution. What does the doctor say he is afflicted with?
2) And why does he get picked up off the street by Ray Liotta and how does he end up with the permanent gig?
3) Latte Pronto performs in three films in the film, describe them.
4) After falling out of Hollywood he receives the key to the city, why?
5) Ultimately everything goes full circle and he links up with Jeong again. Why does he initially think Ken Jeong is dead, and what happened to him actually?
Bonus Question: Imagine if we did a sequel to Fool’s Paradise … imagine no more! Latte Pronto gets a call from his agent. What’s the news?
Bad Movie Twins 