50+ BMeTric – Page 3 – Bad Movie Twins

The Flintstones Preview

“Sorry, I didn’t mean indecent. I meant impossible,” the theater owner says, correcting himself. “It’s just that I can’t possibly afford a showing of Cobra at my theater.” Patrick thinks for a moment, contemplating how long it might take to boost the profile of this small theater using the Bad Movie Twins bodacious brand. He looks back through the window of the restaurant where Jamie and Samantha are eating and observes that the make out session has progressed from ‘proper necking’ to ‘hot and heavy.’ He slams his fist into the table. “There just isn’t time,” he rasps through gritted teeth. “Maybe if you ask Sylvester Stallone nicely he’ll do you a solid,” Kyle suggests. Patrick scoffs. Sure he was a social acquaintance of Sly, but one didn’t just ask Sly politely for anything. “Or maybe a friend of a friend,” he adds. Patrick is about to double scoff directly in Kyle’s face, but suddenly has a thought. Unless it was one of the many very realistic daydreams he and Jamie have had recently, he’s pretty sure Kevin James was now one of their best friends. He checks his phone and he finds that KJ is indeed in his contacts (and not headless as a result of a well placed Twin Kick). Hooray! He speed dials the number and gets the man himself on the horn. After briefly confirming that they never kicked him in the head, he asks after Sly. KJ laughs, “That old dog? Did you know that he didn’t even have to show up to the set of Zookeeper but he insisted on wearing the Lion costume every day.” Patrick laughs. Classic Sly. “We’re actually doing a new film together. Why don’t you swing by the set sometime? You can check out Bedrock for yourself.” That’s right! We are finally doing it. The double dose of Flintstones action that is The Flintstones and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. There isn’t much more to say (other than yabba-dabba-do, I guess). Let’s go!

The Flintstones (1994) – BMeTric: 67.1; Notability: 105

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 24.2%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (52), Street Fighter (6), Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (10), Junior (2), The Next Karate Kid (89), It’s Pat: The Movie (13), Double Dragon (11), On Deadly Ground (36); Lower RT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (52), It’s Pat: The Movie (13), Death Wish: The Face of Death (31), Wagons East (9), The Silence of the Hams (11), House Party 3 (24), Car 54, Where Are You? (71), Holy Matrimony (61), Getting Even with Dad (52), A Low Down Dirty Shame (49), Major League II (66), Exit to Eden (38), Lightning Jack (58), Leprechaun 2 (9), The Next Karate Kid (89), Trial by Jury (38), Blank Check (50), Intersection (28), The Specialist (33), Trapped in Paradise (47), and 39 more; Notes: I filled in all the counts in parenthesis in this one. The Flintstones, much like a lot of big films in the late 90s, seemed to resist showing too much on television. Only twice in 1997 and once in 1999. You can see with the higher BMeT films that the bigger ones (Street Fighter, Junior) counter-intuitively played fewer times on television. Top Notability though, that’s sweet. FYI I’m not going to fill in the counts for all of them, too much work, but fun still.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – If “The Flintstones” had been able to devise a story as interesting as its production values, it would have been some kind of wonderful. This is a great-looking movie, a triumph of set design and special effects, creating a fantasy world halfway between suburbia and a prehistoric cartoon. The frame is filled with delightful and inventive notions, all based on the idea that modern America might somehow be reconstructed out of rocks. Just watching it is fun. … Maybe kids just plain won’t mind; they’ll disregard the story and enjoy the stone age gags. But “The Flintstones” does so well with the hard part of creating its world that it’s a shame the earlier part – putting a story into it – doesn’t measure up.

(I can tell you … I didn’t give a shit when I was a kid. This movie was fucking dope. I still can’t believe it is considered a bad movie.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-uN0rHF7Ig/

(Jeez, Moranis and Goodman are so good. I really hate the bait and switch at the beginning, but my god this looks incredible. People must have been like shit we can just make cartoons now.)

Directors – Brian Levant – ( Known For: Max 2: White House Hero; Future BMT: Beethoven; The Spy Next Door; Snow Dogs; BMT: Jingle All the Way; The Flintstones; Are We There Yet?; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Problem Child 2; Notes: Kind of incredible that Jingle All the Way was I think by far his biggest film. He was doing something right. We need to smash out all of the Beethoven films at some point … well, maybe not all of them.)

Writers – Tom S. Parker and Jim Jennewein – ( Known For: Stay Tuned; Future BMT: Richie Rich; Major League II; Getting Even with Dad; BMT: The Flintstones; Notes: Wait … we are watching two of their films in this cycle alone? That’s nuts. Getting Even with Dad, Richie Rich, and Major League II both came out in ‘94 and were huge cable hits. Crazy.)

Steven E. de Souza – ( Known For: Die Hard; Die Hard 2; Commando; The Running Man; 48 Hrs.; Ricochet; Blast; The Return of Captain Invincible; Future BMT: Street Fighter; Bad Dreams; BMT: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life; Judge Dredd; Beverly Hills Cop III; The Flintstones; Hudson Hawk; Another 48 Hrs.; Knock Off; Notes: It is incredible we are almost done with this filmography. As a matter of fact … I just have to watch Blast, Bad Dreams, and The Return of Captain Invincible to seemingly finish off his filmography personally. That’s crazy.)

Actors – John Goodman – ( Known For: Monsters, Inc.; The Big Lebowski; Argo; Cars; Monsters University; Flight; 10 Cloverfield Lane; Kong: Skull Island; O Brother, Where Art Thou?; The Artist; The Emperor’s New Groove; Atomic Blonde; Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets; Bee Movie; The Princess and the Frog; Inside Llewyn Davis; Raising Arizona; The Campaign; Barton Fink; Patriots Day; Future BMT: The Hangover Part III; The Internship; Evan Almighty; The Monuments Men; Coyote Ugly; Death Sentence; One Night at McCool’s; Dirty Work; Love the Coopers; The Jungle Book 2; King Ralph; We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story; Ratchet & Clank; The Survivors; Burglar; Born Yesterday; Stella; BMT: Transformers: Age of Extinction; Transformers: The Last Knight; The Flintstones; Confessions of a Shopaholic; Notes: Guess which one of his many films played the most on television in the 90s? That’s right, let’s say it together … Born Yesterday? Huh. Literally the second least popular available BMT qualifier for him, but played over 90 times in the 90s. That’s patently insane.)

Rick Moranis – ( Known For: Ghostbusters; Ghostbusters II; Spaceballs; Honey, I Shrunk the Kids; Little Shop of Horrors; Parenthood; Honey, I Blew Up the Kid; L.A. Story; Little Giants; Streets of Fire; My Blue Heaven; Strange Brew; The Wild Life; Howard; Future BMT: Brother Bear; Brewster’s Millions; Club Paradise; Big Bully; Splitting Heirs; Head Office; BMT: The Flintstones; Notes: It is insane that Ghostbusters II played over 200 times on television in the 90s. Moranis is such an incredible 90s actor. If his films played on different days each time then over 30% of the dates in the 90s would have a Moranis film playing. What?!)

Rosie O’Donnell – ( Known For: Tarzan; Sleepless in Seattle; Pitch Perfect 2; A League of Their Own; Hedwig and the Angry Inch; Beautiful Girls; A Very Brady Sequel; Harriet the Spy; Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey; Wide Awake; I’ll Do Anything; I’m Going to Tell You a Secret; Teenage Paparazzo; The Undefeated; The Twilight of the Golds; Everything Is Copy; Being Mary Tyler Moore; ShowBusiness: The Road to Broadway; Future BMT: Another Stakeout; BMT: The Flintstones; Now and Then; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Fatal Instinct; Exit to Eden; Car 54, Where Are You?; Notes: She gets a bunch of plays on television in supporting roles … but the weirdest one is The Twilight of the Golds. I think I even brought this one up before, it is about a debate a family has about an unborn child which genetic will be born gay. Like WHAT?!)

Budget/Gross – $46,000,000 / Domestic: $130,531,208 (Worldwide: $341,631,208)

(Holy shit, that is a lot of money. Not surprising. The film is genuinely good and everyone else was dumb and wrong at the time.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (11/48): The Flintstones wastes beloved source material and imaginative production design on a tepid script that plunks Bedrock’s favorite family into a cynical story awash with lame puns.

(Fine, alright … yeah, it is kind of a waste. They aren’t wrong about that. But man, imagine the sequel we could have gotten with the original awesome cast? Phew.)

Reviewer Highlight: Mostly rock jokes stretched to feature length – New York Times listing

Poster – The Flintsklogs

(There is a lot going on in this poster, but I am a sucker for a classic drawn poster. Like look at that detail! It’s pretty great. Nice font. The only thing I’d do is 86 the bird. It’s too much. Keep it to the main characters. A-)

Tagline(s) – Yabba-Dabba-Doo! (C)

(That’s a fastball right down the middle. Can’t blame them. Can’t reward them.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993), The Bone Collector (1999)

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.4 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.3 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 67.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.1 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.0 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.7 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.5 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.1 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.4 The Mangler (1995), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 59.7 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.5 Jury Duty (1995), 58.1 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.9 Holy Man (1998)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Wild Wild West (1999), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Cool as Ice (1991), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), …

Best Options (Gothika): 67.1 The Flintstones (1994), 55.0 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 46.8 B*A*P*S (1997), 41.9 Black & White (1999), 41.0 Feeling Minnesota (1996), 39.9 In Dreams (1999), 37.0 Girl 6 (1996), 35.2 The Fan (1996), 34.7 Father Hood (1993), 30.3 The Distinguished Gentleman (1992), 28.5 The Rich Man’s Wife (1996), 26.7 The Pagemaster (1994), 26.4 Race the Sun (1996), 24.9 A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994), 22.9 Nick of Time (1995), 21.9 Screamers (1995), 20.2 Strictly Business (1991), 16.6 U.S. Marshals (1998), 14.7 The Bone Collector (1999)

(Wowza. Amazing it is the best option because we really started to have our hands tied going back in time and then jumping back up to a 2024 film. But yeah, this was a blockbuster (in the BMT sense))

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Elizabeth Perkins is No. 2 billed in The Flintstones and No. 4 billed in The Ring Two, which also stars Naomi Watts (No. 1 billed) who is in Diana (No. 1 billed) which also stars Naveen Andrews (No. 2 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 4 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (2 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 4) + (1 + 2) = 17. If we were to watch Must Love Dogs, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Danny DeVito was Steven Spielberg ‘s first choice for the part of Barney. DeVito felt his acting style was too gruff to properly portray Barney, and turned the part down. Subsequently, DeVito recommended Rick Moranis for the part.

Since the entire cast performed barefoot, glassware was banned from the set to prevent injuries.

The appearance of the Flintstones’ sabre-toothed cat marks one of the first times for a furry CG character in a feature film. A specific, complex algorithm (for its time) had to be developed to calculate the movement of every single hair of the fur.

On Dame Elizabeth Taylor’s first day onset, she was greeted with 30 bouquets of flowers, a Cartier watch, a prehistoric bowling ball with her name engraved on it and a bottle of her Passion perfume, redesigned in Bedrock-style fashion. The same bottle appears in the film.

Mel Blanc receives a credit for the voice of Dino five years after his death. The dialogue is taken directly from The Flintstones (1960).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel (Bruce Cohen)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Rosie O’Donnell)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Elizabeth Taylor)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Tom S. Parker, Jim Jennewein, Steven E. de Souza, Al Aidekman, Kate Barker, Cindy Begel, Ruth Bennett, Bruce Cohen, Robert Conte, Rob Dames, Lon Diamond, Michael J. Di Gaetano, Fred Fox Jr., Lloyd Garver, Daniel Goldin, Joshua Goldin, Richard Gurman, Jason Hoffs, Brian Levant, Babaloo Mandel, Mitch Markowitz, Ron Osborn, Jeff Reno, David Richardson, Leonard Ripps, Gary Ross, Dava Savel, David Silverman, Nancy Steen, Stephen Sustarsic, Roy Teicher, Neil Thompson, Michael G. Wilson, Peter Wortmann)

Sleepwalkers Preview

Patrick and Kyle sit in the back of the kitchen watching Jamie and Samantha enjoy their PB&J sandwiches (aka The Assassins) while staring dreamily into each other’s eyes. “Boy, young love sure is amazing,” Patrick says. “Yeah,” Kyle agrees, “almost as amazing as the fact that I’ve never seen Cobra starring Sylvester Stallone.” The color drains from Patrick’s face and he recoils in disgust at this unexpected segue. He tries to remember back to when they first hired Kyle onto Bad Movie Twins and whether they went through their typical rigorous background check. Apparently not as determining Sly Stallone street cred was one of the primary ways in which they would separate the wheat from the chaff in the hiring process. “That’s OK,” Patrick croaks, but things weren’t OK at all. How was he going to get rid of Kyle? Before he could craft a plan to remove Kyle from the equation he notices Kyle is trying to get his attention. “What is it?” he snaps. “I just was saying, isn’t it funny that I mentioned Cobra and it happened to be playing at the theater across the street?” Indeed, when Patrick looks out the window of the kitchen he sees those beautiful words: “Cobra special 12:30pm showing”. Thank god! Patrick looks over at Jamie and is relieved to see that after finishing the PB&J sandwiches he and Samantha have started smooching pretty hard. That should progress into a full on make out session and that should give them the necessary 87 minutes to take in Cobra in all its glory. “Grab your shit,” Patrick says rudely and drags him across the street. Exactly 87 minutes later they stumble back into the sunlight. They are both stunned into silence, the glazed look of sleepwalkers on their face. That’s right! We are watching the Stephen King penned film Sleepwalkers which is about incestuous werecats shapeshifters. Totally normal film for a couple of totally normal guys like us. Let’s go!

Sleepwalkers (1992) – BMeTric: 50.9; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 8.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 17.9%; Higher BMeT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Cool World, Pet Sematary II, Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, Toys; Higher Notability: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Toys, Cool World, Newsies, The Bodyguard, Freejack, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Universal Soldier, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Mighty Ducks, Innocent Blood, The Distinguished Gentleman, Radio Flyer, This Is My Life, Kuffs, Man Trouble, Encino Man, Mom and Dad Save the World, and 1 more; Lower RT: Once Upon a Crime…, Live Wire, Folks!, Year of the Comet, Love Crimes, Frozen Assets, Cool World, Man Trouble, The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Passed Away, Mr. Baseball, Mom and Dad Save the World, The Distinguished Gentleman, Ladybugs, The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Aces: Iron Eagle III, Mo’ Money, and 22 more; Notes: We really are hitting some top BMeT and Notability films. This having a Notability of 40+ in particular is wild. This played an amazing 54 times on television. Was this a rewatchable film? Unclear. Premiered Cinemax primetime on May 12, 1993, a Wednesday, which indeed was the “premiere” slot for Cinemax 8 P.M. in 1992. As for the rest of the high BMeT, just those two horror sequels left, Pet Sematary II and Children of the Corn II.

Variety – Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers is an idiotic horror potboiler. New approach to the vampire legend is really a variation on TriStar’s 1988 flop The Kiss. Brian Krause and mom Alice Krige are incestuous monsters called Sleepwalkers who survive by draining the life force from virgin girls. – Staff

(Wait wait wait … what’s The Kiss now? Do I need to watch The Kiss?! Do I have homework?! Anyways, I do like the sound of “idiotic”, give me that all day.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge6_zTJPhUc/

(That is glorious in an 80s kind of way. A very 80s cast. A Stephen King cameo in the trailer seems like something special. I wonder how many trailers he’s been in.)

Directors – Mick Garris – ( Known For: Riding the Bullet; Nightmare Cinema; BMT: Sleepwalkers; Critters 2: The Main Course; Notes: What a wild career. Was hired as the secretary for the Star Wars Company when it started, then he hosted some Z-Channel interview show, then he did Making Of shorts for a bunch of films, and then he started doing Stephen King stuff. He directed The Shining mini-series that King thought was better than the Kubrick one.)

Writers – Stephen King – ( Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; The Green Mile; The Shining; It; Stand by Me; The Mist; It Chapter Two; 1408; Misery; Doctor Sleep; Secret Window; Carrie; The Running Man; Carrie; Gerald’s Game; Pet Sematary; Pet Sematary; Christine; The Dead Zone; 1922; Future BMT: Children of the Corn; Thinner; Creepshow 2; Needful Things; The Mangler; Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice; BMT: The Dark Tower; Dreamcatcher; The Lawnmower Man; Firestarter; Maximum Overdrive; Sleepwalkers; Firestarter; The Rage: Carrie 2; Graveyard Shift; Notes: Oh wow he straight up wrote this. That’s … nuts. One sec. Yeah, so this is the first film written by King to not be based on one of his preexisting works. Also there is only one other film where he was the sole writer, Maximum Overdrive being the other.)

Actors – Brian Krause – ( Known For: Growth; Hollywood.Con; Plan 9; Naked Souls; Red Sky; Poseidon Rex; Toolbox Murders 2; Cyrus; Triloquist; Alien Rising; Protecting the King; Absolute Killers; BMT: Sleepwalkers; Return to the Blue Lagoon; Notes: Still acting, although, honestly in what appears to be a whole lotta schlock. He was in 145 episodes of Charmed.)

Mädchen Amick – ( Known For: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me; Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces; Dream Lover; The Boyfriend School; The Borrower; Scenes of the Crime; Bombshell; French Exit; Future BMT: Trapped in Paradise; BMT: Priest; Sleepwalkers; Notes: Still acts, most notably in 117 episodes of Riverdale. I recognized her from Twin Peaks.)

Alice Krige – ( Known For: Thor: The Dark World; Reign of Fire; Star Trek: First Contact; Solomon Kane; Chariots of Fire; Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Gretel & Hansel; The Contract; Lonely Hearts; Barfly; A Christmas Prince; A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding; The Little Vampire; A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby; Skin; Will; She Will; The Bay of Silence; The Betrayed; The Calling; Future BMT: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice; Ghost Story; King David; BMT: Silent Hill; Sleepwalkers; Notes: Ah ha! It’s the Borg Queen from Star Trek: First Contact. That’s incredible. She does have a look. She did the voice in the Picard show as well.)

Budget/Gross – $15 million / Domestic: $30,524,763 (Worldwide: $30,524,763)

(This actually is an interesting about of money. King always seemed like a difficult person to make a movie with so I doubt a sequel of any kind would have been in the cards … is a little weird he never got the shot to write another original though.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (5/17)

(The consensus is funny really, it is basically: Same old stuff, feels like King just cashed that check … he probably did. It’ll be over 40% soon I think, every recent review is good.)

Reviewer Highlight: As it sleepwalks towards its ungrand finale, the new King invention falls back on familiar things. – Malcolm Johnson, Hartford Courant

Poster – Sklogwalkers

(This is fun. Like the cover of an old school paperback. I love it. Maybe just a tad more of the dusk sky would have made it pop a little more. Still, it’s great. A.)

Tagline(s) – They feast on your fear – and it’s dinner time. (C-)

(Wait… what? They eat your fear? I don’t think that’s true. I think they eat you… like physically consume you. So this tagline is lying to you. Do not believe it.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Armageddon (1998), Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993)

Best Options (Horror): 61.7 Pet Sematary II (1992), 60.4 The Mangler (1995), 59.7 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 58.1 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.5 An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), 50.8 Sleepwalkers (1992), 48.7 Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995), 46.9 Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992), 45.8 House on Haunted Hill (1999), 44.1 Bordello of Blood (1996), 43.9 Diabolique (1996), 43.4 Village of the Damned (1995), 42.1 Ghost in the Machine (1993), 41.7 Disturbing Behavior (1998), 40.4 End of Days (1999), 39.9 In Dreams (1999), 38.7 Dr. Giggles (1992), 38.6 Hideaway (1995), 38.1 Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), 36.9 Thinner (1996), 36.4 The Relic (1997), 35.3 Warlock: The Armageddon (1993), 35.1 Man’s Best Friend (1993), 32.6 Mary Reilly (1996), 31.4 My Boyfriend’s Back (1993), 28.4 Deep Rising (1998), 27.7 Bad Moon (1996), 26.6 Stigmata (1999), 26.5 The Puppet Masters (1994), 26.0 Brainscan (1994), 25.8 Idle Hands (1999), 23.2 Popcorn (1991), 21.9 Screamers (1995)

(Those are some solid options, and … Jesus, so many of them are King horror films. This one is fun though because it just looks wild.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ron Perlman is No. 6 billed in Sleepwalkers and No. 2 billed in Season of the Witch, which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (6 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch King David, Nights in Rodanthe, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – Lyman Ward and Cindy Pickett, who played Tanya’s parents, were also married in real life at the time of filming. (They had met when they appeared in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986), where they also played a married couple).

Both Mick Garris and Mädchen Amick are allergic to cats, as revealed in the recent Scream Factory Blu-ray release. Amick didn’t reveal this to anyone until right as the film went into production.

According to director Mick Garris, Stephen King’s wife Tabitha King wrote a treatment for a sequel that would have involved a women’s basketball team.

During a Q&A celebrating the film’s 25th anniversary, director Mick Garris revealed the Enya song “Boadicea” was chosen for the film only because, of all the songs provided to him by Sony Music at the time for cross-promotion, it was the one song he felt fit the tone of the film.

Mick Garris cast Alice Krige as Mary Brady after remembering her appearance in Ghost Story (1981), which he had publicized when he worked as a publicist for Universal Pictures.

The Mod Squad Preview

“But… but…” Patrick stammers, “it can’t be. Porcina Romano? You must be like 200 years old!” Kyle and Patrick recoil in fear, as the only other possibility is that Samantha was actually a gh-gh-gh-ghost. “No, dummies. I’m just the great great great grandchild of the great Planchet Romano. This cursed farm is my family’s legacy and sadly it was also your downfall.” A tear streams down her face. It was quite the coincidence. In fact, if you thought about it too hard you’d think it was too much of a coincidence to be believed. But they had to believe it… because they were living it and it was very real. “So, given the level of coincidence we are dealing with here, I have to ask… Do you know how to break the curse?” Kyle asks hopefully, but Samantha shakes her head sadly. They return to Miserable Jamie’s room, Samantha now in her Porcina Romano costume. “Aha, secrets secrets are no fun, unless you are a part of one,” Jamie taunts in the most annoying way possible. “Jamie, this is Porky Romano. She is here to help you,” Patrick sighs, all hope leaving his voice. “Come wallow with me,” Jamie says. “Come wallow in the mud where I belong.” Jamie flops into the mud and with a look of tenderness in her eyes Samantha joins him in the mud. “I’d wallow with you any day,” she says and kisses him full on the mouth. A thunderclap rings out and peace crosses over Jamie’s face. “Yes,” he says, “be with me in the mud. We are the Mud Squad together.” They hug… hard. Patrick and Kyle cry out at the beauty and strength of the brand that Jamie just coined. “So that was the cure,” Patrick says with relief. “Love.” That’s right! We are watching The Mod Squad, a truly reviled film adaptation of a classic television show. Given the cast and concept it’s hard to believe they messed this up so badly. Let’s find out how. Let’s go!

The Mod Squad (1999) – BMeTric: 60.9; Notability: 46

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.8%; Notability: top 13.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.5%; Higher BMeT: Baby Geniuses, Inspector Gadget, Universal Soldier: The Return, Wild Wild West, Wing Commander, Beowulf, Dudley Do-Right, Bats, The Haunting, Simon Sez, The Rage: Carrie 2, Virus; Higher Notability: Wild Wild West, Inspector Gadget, The 13th Warrior, Snow Falling on Cedars, The Haunting, The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc, My Favorite Martian, End of Days, Idle Hands, Play It to the Bone, Bicentennial Man, Pokémon the Movie 2000, The Out-of-Towners, The Story of Us, Random Hearts, Double Jeopardy, The Bone Collector, Instinct, Stigmata, In Too Deep, and 13 more; Lower RT: Beowulf, Inferno, Foolish, Simon Sez, The Suburbans, Baby Geniuses; Notes: Too late for it to have been on television in the 90s. The BMeT is amazing though. I think we’ve seen 11/12 for the higher BMeT which is incredible, with just Inspector Gadget to go. Which means if we watch that we’ll have watched the top 13 at least which is awesome haha. We really have covered such a good slice of BMT films.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – “The Mod Squad” has an intriguing cast, a director who knows how to use his camera and a lot of sly humor. Shame about the story. When you see this many of the right elements in a lame movie, you wonder how close they came to making a better one. The director, Scott Silver, co-wrote the script himself, and has to take some of the blame: This is a classy production and deserves better.

(Lol, shame about the story. It really does come across as a failed pilot for a reboot or something. The mystery just seems so slight and the result so tepid it doesn’t make much sense as a big budget ($50 million!) film.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67cdXuWnRKs/

(Oh gosh, Ribisi is on one. You can almost tell there isn’t a story. They can barely cut a trailer properly from the nothing they shot. Oh man, and the needle drop at the end is horrible too.)

Directors – Scott Silver – ( Known For: Johns; BMT: The Mod Squad; Notes: From Worcester, MA. Mostly a writer, and an accomplished one too.)

Writers – Buddy Ruskin – ( Notes: Created the original Mod Squad … and somehow not much else. Dined out on that for his entire career I guess.)

Stephen Kay – ( Known For: The Last Time I Committed Suicide; BMT: The Mod Squad; Notes: From New Zealand and married to Piper Parebo. And yeah, he produced, directed, and wrote on Covert Affairs. I’m not sure if that was before or after marrying Parebo.)

Scott Silver – ( Known For: Joker; The Fighter; 8 Mile; The Finest Hours; Johns; BMT: The Mod Squad; Notes: As said above, quite accomplished. Has been nominated for two Oscars for writing for Joker and The Fighter.)

Kate Lanier – ( Known For: What’s Love Got to Do with It; Set It Off; Future BMT: Beauty Shop; BMT: Glitter; The Mod Squad; Notes: Going The Mod Squad and Glitter back to back is something else, that’s one way to be put in writer jail.)

Actors – Claire Danes – ( Known For: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines; Stardust; Romeo + Juliet; The Hours; The Rainmaker; The Family Stone; Little Women; U Turn; Les Misérables; Igby Goes Down; Shopgirl; Brigsby Bear; Home for the Holidays; How to Make an American Quilt; The Flock; Me and Orson Welles; Stage Beauty; It’s All About Love; As Cool as I Am; A Kid Like Jake; Future BMT: Brokedown Palace; To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday; BMT: Evening; The Mod Squad; Notes: Very much known as a television actress with both My So Called Life and Homeland being major successes. Nominated for 10 Emmys and won two for Homeland and one for the miniseries Temple Grandin.)

Omar Epps – ( Known For: Scream 2; Alfie; Juice; Brother; Love & Basketball; Big Trouble; Higher Learning; The Program; The Wood; Breakfast of Champions; Almost Christmas; Fatal Affair; 3022; Trick; The Deliverance; Perfume; A Day in the Life; Future BMT: Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood; Major League II; Traffik; Against the Ropes; In Too Deep; BMT: Dracula 2000; The Mod Squad; Notes: oh, Major League II is coming up. I’m going to be honest, despite the series going bananas late in its run, I’m a little surprised he was never nominated for House. Laurie got nominated a bunch of times and Epps was the best of his assistants.)

Giovanni Ribisi – ( Known For: Saving Private Ryan; Avatar; Ted; Avatar: The Way of Water; Lost in Translation; Public Enemies; Ted 2; The Virgin Suicides; Cold Mountain; Lost Highway; Contraband; The Rum Diary; Selma; Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow; The Gift; That Thing You Do!; Boiler Room; Middle Men; The Bad Batch; Heaven; Future BMT: A Million Ways to Die in the West; Basic; Flight of the Phoenix; The Other Sister; BMT: Gone in 60 Seconds; Gangster Squad; The Postman; Perfect Stranger; The Mod Squad; Notes: Nominated for an Emmy for a guest spot on My Name is Earl of all things. He is particularly bad in this film, I don’t understand at all what he’s doing here.)

Budget/Gross – $50,000,000 / Domestic: $13,263,993 (Worldwide: $13,263,993)

(Disaster. But what did they expect? Why are they spending $50 million on a 60s television series movie? The Fugitive this ain’t.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 3% (2/65): The Mod Squad aims for stylish cool and thrilling adventure, but collapses in an incoherent jumble of dated source material and unintentional hilarity.

(Holy good god. Three percent is something else. That is astonishing. I’ve been doing good reviews as a highlight recently, and luckily this does actually have one. And it is a major one too.)

Reviewer Highlight: A great-looking picture that zips along with grace, light on its feet but possessed of just enough gravity to allow us to take its people rather than its old TV series premise seriously. – Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times

Poster – The Sklog Squad

(I like the boldness of the colors and the vertical “THE”. There is some art to this for what is otherwise a rather boring poster. It also makes me ask the question: were these actors big enough stars to actually justify this poster? Hard to believe. B-.)

Tagline(s) – Undercover. (F)

(That is embarrassing. What the hell is going on?)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

Top 10: The Matrix Revolutions (2003), The Butterfly Effect (2004), The Da Vinci Code (2006), The Fast and the Furious (2001), Men in Black II (2002), Man on Fire (2004), Click (2006), Pearl Harbor (2001), Fantastic Four (2005), Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Future BMT: 93.5 Date Movie (2006), 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 86.4 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.3 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.2 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.2 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.2 Zoom (2006), 71.2 Soul Plane (2004), 70.6 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 70.3 Delta Farce (2007), 69.3 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 69.1 Pulse (2006)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Norbit (2007), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), The Master of Disguise (2002), Bratz (2007), Ultraviolet (2006), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Elektra (2005), Taxi (2004), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), Freddy Got Fingered (2001),…

Best Options (1999-1999): 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 60.8 The Mod Squad (1999), 55.0 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 54.2 The Bachelor (1999), 52.2 Superstar (1999), 51.3 My Favorite Martian (1999), 49.8 Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999), 49.0 Simply Irresistible (1999), 45.8 House on Haunted Hill (1999), 45.0 The King and I (1999), 41.9 Black & White (1999), 40.8 The Out-of-Towners (1999), 40.4 Gloria (1999), 40.4 End of Days (1999), 39.9 In Dreams (1999), 39.4 Jawbreaker (1999), 39.0 Play It to the Bone (1999), 35.1 Doug’s 1st Movie (1999), 34.6 Drive Me Crazy (1999), 32.7 Held Up (1999), 29.4 The Story of Us (1999), 28.5 The Love Letter (1999), 27.3 200 Cigarettes (1999), 26.6 Stigmata (1999), 26.6 At First Sight (1999), 26.5 Pokémon the Movie 2000 (1999), 26.2 Love Stinks (1999), 25.8 Idle Hands (1999), 25.7 Three to Tango (1999), 24.1 Blue Streak (1999), 22.0 Big Daddy (1999), 21.0 The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999), 20.9 The General’s Daughter (1999), 18.9 Double Jeopardy (1999), 18.8 Brokedown Palace (1999), 18.0 Crazy in Alabama (1999), 17.8 In Too Deep (1999), 17.5 Light It Up (1999), 17.4 Instinct (1999), 17.2 Trippin’ (1999), 16.8 8MM (1999), 16.7 The Other Sister (1999), 15.8 Jakob the Liar (1999), 14.7 The Bone Collector (1999), 12.9 Mystery, Alaska (1999), 11.5 Snow Falling on Cedars (1999), 10.7 Bicentennial Man (1999), 8.9 The Thirteenth Floor (1999), 6.4 A Dog of Flanders (1999)

(Should we have done Inspector Gadget? I don’t think so. IG will always be there. We needed to hit up this craziness while the getting was good.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Giovanni Ribisi is No. 2 billed in The Mod Squad and No. 2 billed in Gone in Sixty Seconds, which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch In Too Deep we can get the HoE Number down to 11.

Notes – Omar Epps mentioned in several interviews that he greatly disliked the denim Levi’s clothes he and the cast had to wear because the jeans were very tight. He mentioned that there are several moments captured on screen during film where he wears a frown and grimace facial expression due to his jeans being too tight. The clothing in the film was specifically customized and provided by Levi’s. When the film was released, Levi’s put out denim commercials featuring Epps, Danes, and Ribisi.

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Milla Jovovich were among the actresses considered for the role of Julie Barnes.

Melissa Joan Hart was considered for the role of Julie Barnes.

Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris turned down the offer to direct.

The film was poorly received by critics. Many viewers of the old series felt it was ‘Mod Squad’ –in name (of title and characters) only.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Stephen Kay, Scott Silver, Kate Lanier)

Corky Romano Preview

Before them sat Jamie just as they had left him, but now he was not alone. There was a slight man in there with him and the man was… “Is he washing him?” Kyle asks, bile rising in his throat. Indeed this impish figure was washing Jamie and in his other free hand he held a pair of jorts. Tears were streaming down Jamie’s face in thanks. “They don’t care anymore,” he wailed, “They don’t care that I’m deaf and have no jorts. But you care, sweet little troll or whatever you are. Are you a hobbit? Don’t answer because I’m deaf and I won’t hear you and it will annoy me.” This carries on as Patrick and Kyle enter the room and the little man’s eyes widen in fear. He holds up a finger to his lips and Patrick and Kyle understand. They let him finish and afterwards Jamie is clean and bejorted and slightly less miserable. The little man leans in and gives Jamie a small kiss on the cheek, who swats at him and gets back to his typical whining about the lack of adequate v-neck depth in the shirts of today’s youths. The little elf man creeps into the other room and beckons them over. Once safely away from Jamie, he quickly takes off his disguise. “My word, it’s no hobbit or whatever, it’s Samantha!” Kyle exclaims. Indeed Samantha, having heard about Jamie’s affliction had returned and begun secretly taking care of him. “But you can’t reveal the secret to him. He’s never let me help if he knew it was me because of his hearing. He’s ashamed.” They understand, but what should they call her? “You shall call me by my birth name, Porky Romano.” Patrick gasps. That’s right! We aren’t watching Porky Romano, but rather the much more popular and famous Corky Romano which I believe was the most popular film of 2001. Although, I could be wrong about that. We are pairing that with one of the (unfortunately many) Razzie Worst Picture winners that never got a theatrical release. This time it’s Dirty Love starring Jenny McCarthy. Cool. Let’s go!

Corky Romano (2001) – BMeTric: 60.1; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.8%; Notability: top 16.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 1.6%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Driven, Freddy Got Fingered, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Soul Survivors, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Valentine, Monkeybone, The Musketeer; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Monkeybone, Hannibal, Impostor, Not Another Teen Movie, Ghosts of Mars, Bubble Boy, Swordfish, Along Came a Spider, The One, 15 Minutes, Scary Movie 2, The Affair of the Necklace, America’s Sweethearts, Town & Country, I Am Sam, Don’t Say a Word, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Just Visiting, and 21 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men; Notes: Wow we watched 10 of the 12 films above this by BMeT and all but All the Queen’s Men (which is a bizarre British cross dressing film) for RT. That BMeT is not surprisingly quite good though.

RogerEbert.com – 0.5 stars – ‘Corky Romano” continues the “Saturday Night Live” Jinx, which in recent years has frustrated the talented members of the TV program in their efforts to make watchable movies. It’s a desperately unfunny gangster spoof, starring Chris Kattan as the kid brother in a Mafia family, so trusting and naive he really does believe his father is in the landscaping business. … “Corky Romano” is like a dead zone of comedy. The concept is exhausted, the ideas are tired, the physical gags are routine, the story is labored, the actors look like they can barely contain their doubts about the project.

(I’m honestly a little surprised this didn’t get a thumbs down. This feels perfect for that. A movie that is barely a movie with (quite literally) no script. That seems ripe for Ebert to reject wholesale.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LlHmJ3xqHM/

(Lol Peter Falk. Man I remember this trailer so well. IN A DAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO. IT was on all the time at the time. “Hi, you guys want some cookies.” Jesus Christ, it is imprinted in my mind.)

Directors – Rob Pritts – ( BMT: Corky Romano; Notes: So my understanding was they needed to get this movie done TODAY. Not tomorrow. Not in a week. It had to be done NOW. And this guy was the guy who said he could do it. And he did, in some incredible short amount of time, which is why the film seems so weirdly improvisational.)

Writers – David Garrett and Jason Ward – ( BMT: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Corky Romano; Notes: I’m not joking when I say I think we were this close to having the one and only BMT film without credited screenwriters if the stories about how this film was “written” were to be believed. But yeah, look at that BMT murderer’s row.)

Actors – Chris Kattan – ( Known For: Hotel Transylvania 2; Leo; Undercover Brother; Nancy Drew; Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters; Foodfight!; Santa’s Slay; Guns, Girls and Gambling; Tanner Hall; Adam & Steve; Guest House; Christmas in Wonderland; Undead or Alive: A Zombedy; Hard Breakers; Slightly Single in L.A.; Walk of Fame; The Making of ‘…and God Spoke’; The Last Film Festival; Future BMT: A Night at the Roxbury; House on Haunted Hill; Delgo; BMT: The Ridiculous 6; Monkeybone; Corky Romano; Notes: Obviously most famous for Saturday Night Live, which he left in 2003. Does mostly voice stuff now from what I can tell.)

Peter Falk – ( Known For: The Princess Bride; Wings of Desire; The Player; It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World; Murder by Death; Undisputed; A Woman Under the Influence; The Great Race; Made; The Great Muppet Caper; Opening Night; The In-Laws; Faraway, So Close!; Pocketful of Miracles; Husbands; Mikey and Nicky; The Cheap Detective; Robin and the 7 Hoods; Anzio; The Brink’s Job; Future BMT: Shark Tale; Next; Vibes; Roommates; BMT: Corky Romano; Notes: Just one more thing. Colombo! His film work is always funny, especially the late stuff where it is like … why are you in Corky Romano again?)

Vinessa Shaw – ( Known For: Eyes Wide Shut; 3:10 to Yuma; Side Effects; The Hills Have Eyes; Two Lovers; Cold in July; Melinda and Melinda; Puncture; Big Miracle; The Weight of Water; Clinical; 12 Mighty Orphans; We Need to Do Something; Garden Party; Stag Night; Come Out and Play; Family Blood; L.A. Without a Map; After the Fall; Electric Slide; Future BMT: Hocus Pocus; 40 Days and 40 Nights; Ladybugs; BMT: Corky Romano; Notes: The girl from Hocus Pocus. I saw that recently … not as good as I remember, but probably better than most people remember.)

Budget/Gross – $11 million / Domestic: $23,980,304 (Worldwide: $25,272,752)

(That isn’t bad. Especially considering, again, that is seemed like it was barely a movie.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 7% (6/84): Corky Romano continues the trend of bad movies featuring SNL members. The jokes are tired and unfunny, and the slapstick feels forced.

(Wowza, I do love <10% RT films. Knocking all of those off eventually would be a good goal. The wide releases I mean. Although even the non-wide releases might be tenable if we just focused on the 90s/00s. Only big films got 5+ reviews back then I think.)

Reviewer Highlight: With a great many contemporary comedies mistaking excess for invention and hyperactivity for dynamism, Corky Romano displays genuine heart. – Miles Beller, Los Angeles Times

Poster – Skloggins Romano

(I mean… I like how bright and ridiculous it is. It’s actually very reminiscent of the famous Knocked Up poster that was actually very good. But I’m not sure the face of Chris Kattan is as intriguing as that. C+.)

Tagline(s) – Who is Corky Romano? (D)

(Yeah… right? This doesn’t work.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

Future BMT: 93.5 Date Movie (2006), 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.8 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.3 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.6 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 71.1 Soul Plane (2004), 70.6 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 70.3 Delta Farce (2007), 69.3 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Elektra (2005), Taxi (2004), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), Wild Wild West (1999), …

Best Options (wiki-snl): 52.1 Superstar (1999)

(I just wanted to see what was available for SNL films. Superstar is a fun one, but unfortunately 1999 was spoken for. Corky Romano is not an SNL film, but it is kind of close enough to it to be fun.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Chris Kattan is No. 1 billed in Corky Romano and No. 4 billed in Monkeybone, which also stars Brendan Fraser (No. 1 billed) who is in Escape from Planet Earth (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jessica Alba (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch 40 Days and 40 Nights we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – According to the screenwriters on Selling Your Screenplay podcast #81, the only reason the film was greenlit was due to a pending Actor strike in Sept 2000, so it was written in 10 days in May, filmed in June and wrapped in August- unheard of for a major studio film.

In his 2019 autobiography “Baby Don’t Hurt Me”, Chris Kattan noted that Paul Thomas Anderson (writer-director of Boogie Nights and Magnolia) and Richard LaGravenese (screenwriter of The Fisher King) each assisted with rewriting the script for Corky Romano, and they received no official credit. SNL writers Matt Piedmont and Scott Wainio also contributed to the rewrites.

One of Robert Pattinson’s favorite films.

Originally advertised as Corky Romano: ‘Special’ Agent, the movie was released as simply Corky Romano. The term ‘special’ with the marks around it was thought be making fun of a character’s mental disability.

According to Chris Kattan , he originally portrayed Corky Romano more realistic and less like a caricature. But after Disney executive Peter Schneider fell asleep while watching the first rough ensemble of a footage shot during the first three weeks of production, producer Robert Simonds ordered all the footage that had been assembled at that time to be re-shot. Because of the tight budget, these re-shoots could not be done separately but had to be incorporated into the rest of the shoot, and Simonds insisted that Kattan play the lead in a much more cartoony way, smiling constantly.

Cursed Preview

Spending their days rebuilding Pierre’s premier perfume shop didn’t sound so bad to Patrick, Jamie and Kyle. It wasn’t until they had already scoped out a farmhouse to rent in a nearby winery that they were informed that they weren’t rebuilding the Perfume shop at all. “Where do you think I got all that wild hog musk?” Pierre says, pointing them to his premier hog farm that stood just down the block. “This is probably not going to help my scent,” Jamie says. “Unless…” he continues, but Patrick stops him. No, there was no “unless…” to that statement. A week later, as they muck out pen #3, Pierre enters the farm and slaps Jamie on the back. “You guys are doing a great job. I just can’t believe the latest standings!” He slaps his hand at the newsletter he’s holding. “What’s that?” Patrick asks, curious now at what ‘standings’ Pierre could be talking about. “The hog standings, of course,” Pierre says incredulously. “We’re all the way up to #2! I’ve never been able to get even up to #5 when it was just me mucking out all these pens and extracting the gallons of wild hog musk.” Now the competitive juices are flowing. Jamie, Patrick and Kyle start to chatter about getting all the way up to #1 in the standings. “No, no, no,” Pierre says, looking worried. “We don’t want to get up to #1. Being second is a perfect place to be, so let’s just stay right there.” Second place?! Jamie and Patrick stare at him in disbelief. Did Pierre really think they were second place kind of hog farmers? “No, I don’t think you are second place kind of hog farmers,” he reassures them, “it’s just that first place in the hog standings is… cursed.” *Gasp* That’s right! We are watching Cursed by Wes Craven. This is his take on the werewolf genre and unfortunately I don’t think Taylor Lautner was able to participate. Let’s go!

Cursed (2005) – BMeTric: 62.3; Notability: 71

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 7.2%; Notability: top 5.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 13.5%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, The Fog, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, A Sound of Thunder, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Are We There Yet?, In the Mix, The Dukes of Hazzard, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, The Honeymooners, Dirty Love; Higher Notability: Kingdom of Heaven, Fantastic Four, Be Cool, Domino, Fun with Dick and Jane, Bewitched, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, Son of the Mask, The Great Raid, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Yours, Mine & Ours, Son of the Mask, Underclassman, A Sound of Thunder, The Perfect Man, Dirty Love, White Noise, Dirty Deeds, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Man of the House, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Æon Flux, Elektra, Edison, The Mistress of Spices, Are We There Yet?, and 13 more; Notes: We are even on the higher BMeT films (seen 9 and haven’t seen 9), but at least one is coming up. Kingdom of Heaven is an exciting possibility. I should say … the Notability on this is off the chain. I don’t get it. It is nuts.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars – Contemporary werewolf-on-the-loose story is a rare miss in the thrills department from the SCREAM team of Craven and writer Kevin Williamson. Film starts out amusing but soon becomes ludicrous as the nubile young victims must fight back to become human again. Already dated picture is set at the now-defunct Craig Kilborn talk show, where Ricci is a producer spending what seems like days prepping an interview with Scott Baio. It’s that kind of movie, folks.

(Hahahahha, it is true though. Kilborn shows up and embarasses himself, and the Baio shit was also hilarious. The only thing I wish was Baio was either torn to shreds by the werewolf, or randomly was the werewolf in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e56-jMfL9I/

(I can tell you that early scene where the wolf grabs the woman out of the car looks about as good in the actual film … which is to say like garbage. This film looks perfectly 2005 and that ain’t a compliment. The CGI dog is awful.)

Directors – Wes Craven – ( Known For: Scream; A Nightmare on Elm Street; Scream 2; Scream 4; Scream 3; Red Eye; Paris, I Love You; New Nightmare; The Last House on the Left; The People Under the Stairs; The Hills Have Eyes; The Serpent and the Rainbow; Swamp Thing; Music of the Heart; The Hills Have Eyes Part II; Deadly Blessing; Future BMT: My Soul to Take; Shocker; BMT: Cursed; Vampire in Brooklyn; Deadly Friend; Notes: Died in 2015, but still racking up those credits. His performance in New Nightmare is b-b-b-b-b-b-bonkers.)

Writers – Kevin Williamson – ( Known For: Scream; Scream 2; Scream 4; Scream 3; Scream; The Faculty; Scream VI; Sick; Future BMT: Teaching Mrs. Tingle; BMT: I Know What You Did Last Summer; Cursed; Notes: Kind of legendary as far as horror writers. The Faculty? How didn’t that qualify? It is hilarious.)

Actors – Christina Ricci – ( Known For: Sleepy Hollow; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; The Matrix Resurrections; The Addams Family; Monster; Casper; Addams Family Values; Small Soldiers; Speed Racer; Black Snake Moan; Penelope; Buffalo ’66; The Ice Storm; New York, I Love You; After.Life; Mermaids; Anything Else; The Hard Way; The Opposite of Sex; Bel Ami; Future BMT: The Smurfs 2; 200 Cigarettes; That Darn Cat; BMT: Cursed; Now and Then; Bless the Child; Alpha and Omega; Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for Yellowjackets and Grey’s Anatomy. A true blue child star from my childhood. The Addams Family and Caspar in particular.)

Jesse Eisenberg – ( Known For: The Social Network; Now You See Me; Zombieland; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Village; Rio; Zombieland: Double Tap; Adventureland; 30 Minutes or Less; Rio 2; American Ultra; To Rome with Love; The Squid and the Whale; Café Society; Vivarium; The Double; The Art of Self-Defense; The End of the Tour; The Hunting Party; Roger Dodger; Future BMT: Now You See Me 2; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Justice League; Cursed; Notes: Remember Roger Dodger? What a weird film. Nominated for an Oscar for The Social Network, and his directorial effort in A Real Pain is getting tons of buzz.)

Portia de Rossi – ( Known For: Scream 2; Sirens; Dead & Breakfast; Who Is Cletis Tout?; Tab Hunter Confidential; Girl; I Witness; Unity; All the Way; Now Add Honey; Future BMT: Stigmata; BMT: Cursed; Notes: Known for Arrested Development and for being married to Ellen. Also she’s like … barely in this film, so wild she’s the third person listed on IMDb.)

Budget/Gross – $38,000,000 / Domestic: $19,297,522 (Worldwide: $29,621,722)

(That’s not great. Seems like a catastrophic production probably pushed the budget too high, and on a more normal horror budget maybe this works out okay.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 15% (15/98): A predictable plot and cheesy special effects make Cursed a less-than-scary experience.

(Cheesy special effect?! Well … fine, yeah, the first bit with the werewolf is real dumb looking and there are some real crazy effects in the big fight scene in the middle, and the dog looks bad … fine yeah, the special effects suck.)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s not bad enough to make you curse, but you are likely to laugh when you should scream, and to roll your eyes when you are meant to laugh. – A.O. Scott, New York Times

Poster – Fred Durst’s Cursed

(I think this is fine. Nicely stylized with a twist on the font. I don’t know why, but it comes off a little boring to me even when it’s doing a lot of the things I like. B+.)

Tagline(s) – What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. (F)

(Wow. No. That is simply a common phrase and is completely unacceptable.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Taxi (2004), Elektra (2005), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), …

Best Options (Horror): 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 69.0 Black Christmas (2006), 68.7 Captivity (2007), 67.5 Seed of Chucky (2004), 64.8 The Grudge 2 (2006), 63.9 Valentine (2001), 63.6 Skinwalkers (2006), 63.0 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 62.3 Cursed (2005), 62.1 Stay Alive (2006), 61.5 When a Stranger Calls (2006), 60.8 See No Evil (2006), 60.3 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 58.8 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 58.4 The Return (2005), 57.9 They (2002), 56.6 The Stepford Wives (2004), 55.2 Lost Souls (2000), 54.2 The Messengers (2007), 53.9 The Order (2003), 50.9 Turistas (2006), …

(Pretty pretty pretty good. I really don’t want to watch BloodRayne, although I know it will happen. Ha! Skinwalkers. Another werewolf film was right there too.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jesse Eisenberg is No. 2 billed in Cursed and No. 3 billed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 3) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – In 2014, Judy Greer spoke of the film in an interview. Greer states, “I don’t know why that movie got so fucked up. I don’t understand it. I thought the script was fine. Honest to God, I didn’t get the big deal. I don’t know who kept making them fuck with it”. She goes on to say, “Then we shot the movie for, like, seven years. I think they said we had four movies worth of footage. It was so fun, but so weird. I don’t get it. I couldn’t figure it out.”

When the production was stalled, many cast members were cut, including Illeana Douglas, Heather Langenkamp, Scott Foley, Omar Epps, Robert Forster, James Brolin and Corey Feldman. All of these actors even filmed their scenes which were cut when the movie was re-written and re-shot.

In the original version, the film opened with the benefit party by PETA on the hotel roof. Parts of the scene were kept from the original shooting but in the final cut, that scene is at about 50 minutes from the beginning. Mya replaced Mandy Moore in this scene.

In 2008, Wes Craven was quoted saying; “… the Cursed experience was so screwed up. I mean, that went on for two-and-a-half years of my life for a film that wasn’t anything close to what it should have been. And another film that I was about to shoot having the plug pulled – Pulse – so it was like, I did learn from the Cursed experience not to do something for money. They said, ‘We know you want to do another film, we’ll pay you double.’ And we were 10 days from shooting, and I said fine. But I ended up working two-and-a-half years for double my fee, but I could have done two-and-a-half movies, and done movies that were out there making money. In general, I think it’s not worth it and part of the reason my phone hasn’t rung is that that story is pretty well known.

The original plot line had three strangers brought together by a car accident in the Hollywood Hills and the subsequent attack of a werewolf. The three characters were named Ellie Hudson (Christina Ricci), Vince Winston (Skeet Ulrich) and Jimmy Myers (Jesse Eisenberg). When the script was re-written, the plot changed and focused on two estranged siblings who had to fight a curse after a werewolf attack. Skeet Ulrich’s character was totally re-written and renamed Jake. Since Ellie and Jimmy became brother and sister, Ellie’s surname was deleted and became Myers.

Collateral Damage Preview

Lesson #3 is pretty simple as far as Patrick is concerned: there’s nothing that a nice cologne can’t mask, including the stench left over from their comments about Scott Bakula’s funeral mishap. So where better to start than his favorite cologne shop in grand Paris. He greets the owner, Pierre, warmly and asks what big time celeb he might have made smell great recently. “A perfumer never sprays and brays,” he says and Patrick smiles, secretly stewing that he didn’t come up with that himself. “So this is the man of the hour,” Pierre continues, looking at Jamie. “I feel like I have just the scent for…” but before he can finish something has caught Jamie’s eye. “Ooo, this one is Wild Hog Musk,” Jamie says, bending down to read the label closer, “guaranteed to bring the wild hogs running.” He notes to Patrick how funny it is that “wild hogs” isn’t capitalized in the tagline, but if he gets to smell like Tim Allen then sign him up. Pierre’s eyes widen as he realizes the common and understandable mistake that Jamie has made. Before he can stop him, though, the damage is done… literally. With one whiff of the wild hog musk the store is soon overrun with horrifyingly large hogs, all of which have only one thing on their mind: Jamie’s bodacious bod and its lovely hoggy musk. Hours later, after fending off the last of the hogs, Pierre looks around his store sadly. “This is, of course, the risk you take carrying such things in the store,” he says, “the collateral damage for me is my store. For you, though, it’s just your time,” and with that he taps a sign that explains that any musk mistakes must be paid back in time spent working for Pierre. That’s right! The collateral damage of watching Collateral Damage starring Arnold Schwarzeneggar is also just our time. Sigh. Let’s go!

Collateral Damage (2002) – BMeTric: 50.1; Notability: 73

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 11.2%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.9%; Higher BMeT: Crossroads, Halloween: Resurrection, Rollerball, The Master of Disguise, Feardotcom, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Half Past Dead, Boat Trip, Derailed, The Sweetest Thing, Scooby-Doo, They, Full Frontal, The Truth About Charlie, Queen of the Damned, Vampires: Los Muertos, Swimfan, Snow Dogs, Maid in Manhattan, and 8 more; Higher Notability: Men in Black II, Scooby-Doo, The Time Machine, Star Trek: Nemesis; Lower RT: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Killing Me Softly, Derailed, Try Seventeen, Hard Cash, The Master of Disguise, Deuces Wild, Feardotcom, Rollerball, Half Past Dead, Serving Sara, Darkness, New Best Friend, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Boat Trip, The New Guy, Dragonfly, Stealing Harvard, Juwanna Mann, Halloween: Resurrection, and 19 more; Notes: I love that gaudy Notability. We still have three of those to go. Then 11/20 for BMeT, although the top 8 we’ve done. What is that, like 50 films with sub-20% in 2002. Sigh.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – “Collateral Damage” is a relic from an earlier (if not kinder and gentler) time, a movie about terrorism made before terrorists became the subject of our national discourse. “You Americans are so naive,” says the movie’s terrorist villain. “You see a peasant with a gun, you change the channel. But you never ask why a peasant needs a gun.” Well, we still don’t wonder why the peasant needs the gun (we think we should have the gun), but we’re not so naive anymore.

(Interesting. Quite a high rating for what is kind of the movie that marked the end of Arnold’s action career. And yeah, the proximity to 9/11 was a very specific issue with this film.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YywOMlbqLPo/

(Looks pretty rad if I’m being honest … unfortunately I don’t think this trailer is being entirely honest. It makes it seems like he’s going to go and chase down this guy and blow up and village and junk and kill him. WRONG. That isn’t the plot of this film. The plot of this film is unfortunately more boring. This trailer is pretty good though, I would watch that movie if it existed.)

Directors – Andrew Davis – ( Known For: The Fugitive; Holes; Under Siege; A Perfect Murder; Above the Law; The Package; Code of Silence; The Final Terror; Stony Island; Future BMT: Chain Reaction; Steal Big Steal Little; BMT: The Guardian; Collateral Damage; Notes: He has two upcoming projects … something tells me that given his last film was 2006 that is incorrect. Wrote a little movie called Steal Big Steal Little featuring Andy Garcia playing twin brothers.)

Writers – Ronald Roose – ( Known For: The Hessen Conspiracy; BMT: Collateral Damage; Notes: Do yourself a favor and go look at the poster for The Hessen Conspiracy. Just … one word: Billy Zane.)

David Griffiths – ( Known For: The Portrait; Future BMT: The Hunted; BMT: Collateral Damage; Notes: He was a VP at Goldman Sachs and was a founder of a software company. It seems that he then went back to UCLA with his brother to become a screenwriter.)

Peter Griffiths – ( Future BMT: The Hunted; BMT: Collateral Damage; Notes: I think he retired because David now writes by himself.)

Actors – Arnold Schwarzenegger – ( Known For: Terminator 2: Judgment Day; The Terminator; Predator; Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines; The Expendables; Total Recall; The Expendables 2; True Lies; Escape Plan; Terminator: Dark Fate; Commando; The Running Man; Last Action Hero; Kindergarten Cop; Conan the Barbarian; The Last Stand; The Rundown; Twins; The 6th Day; Red Heat; Future BMT: Terminator Genisys; End of Days; Junior; BMT: Batman & Robin; The Expendables 3; Eraser; Jingle All the Way; Around the World in 80 Days; Conan the Destroyer; Collateral Damage; Sabotage; Red Sonja; Raw Deal; Notes: Won an Emmy for producing a documentary. Was governor of California from 2004 to 2011. This is our 10th Arnold film, only three more to go as well.)

John Leguizamo – ( Known For: John Wick; Ice Age; John Wick: Chapter 2; The Menu; Die Hard 2; Moulin Rouge!; Ice Age: The Meltdown; Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs; Encanto; The Lincoln Lawyer; Romeo + Juliet; Carlito’s Way; Chef; Doctor Dolittle; Land of the Dead; Violent Night; American Ultra; Assault on Precinct 13; The Infiltrator; Sisters; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Ice Age: Continental Drift; The Counselor; Ice Age: Collision Course; Spawn; The Fan; Out for Justice; Love in the Time of Cholera; Revenge; Miracle at St. Anna; What’s the Worst That Could Happen?; Playing with Fire; Walking with Dinosaurs 3D; The Pest; Empire; The Honeymooners; Whispers in the Dark; BMT: The Happening; Gamer; Ride Along; Repo Men; Righteous Kill; Collateral Damage; Super Mario Bros.; One for the Money; Notes: Leguizamo has been in 25 BMT films, my god. Won an Emmy for a comedy special, and nominated twice for supporting acting. I didn’t realize he was Bruno in Encanto, that’s interesting.)

Francesca Neri – ( Known For: Live Flesh; Captain America; The Ages of Lulu; The Rich, the Pauper and the Butler; Pensavo fosse amore… invece era un calesse; Una famiglia perfetta; Giovanna’s Father; Outrage; Al lupo al lupo; Ginostra; Sud; Flight of the Innocent; A Dinner for Them to Meet; Il siero della vanità; A Second Childhood; Il cielo è sempre più blu; Io amo Andrea; Ivo il tardivo; La mia generazione; La felicità non costa niente; Future BMT: Hannibal; BMT: Collateral Damage; Notes: Italian and indeed, she mostly has acted in Italy, even after breaking into American films … oh and yeah, that Captain America is the shit one from 1990.)

Budget/Gross – $85,000,000 / Domestic: $40,077,257 (Worldwide: $78,382,433)

(That … yeah, that’s terrible, but it isn’t really totally its fault. I was supposed to come out on like literally 9/11, so it was pushed to 2002 and I don’t think people had the appetite for it at that point.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (27/142): Despite its timely subject matter, Collateral Damage is an unexceptional and formulaic action thriller.

(Timely was kind of the problem lol. People didn’t want to fret over whether Arnold was going to stop the terrorists from [checks notes] … blowing up a building. Great.)

Reviewer Highlight: An exhausted rehash of Mr. Schwarzenegger breaking through red tape to struggle against his nemesis of the moment. – Elvis Mitchell, New York Times

Poster – Cooooooohhhhhllateral

(a.k.a. Explosion Face. The only thing I can really say that is good about this is that it’s got a warm glow to it because of all the fire on the poster… just so much fire. That font makes me sad. C-)

Tagline(s) – Nothing is more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose (D)

(Is it over yet? That’s boring. That’s long. That’s boring and long. Think to yourself just how many movies that could be the tagline for.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), From Justin to Kelly (2003), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Taxi (2004), Elektra (2005), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), …

Best Options (Action): 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 70.3 Delta Farce (2007), 68.9 Crossover (2006), 67.6 Thunderbirds (2004), 65.7 Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004), 63.8 Underdog (2007), 63.6 Skinwalkers (2006), 60.8 See No Evil (2006), 60.8 The Mod Squad (1999), 60.3 Biker Boyz (2003), 59.8 Agent Cody Banks (2003), 50.9 The Core (2003), 50.4 The Last Legion (2007), 50.1 Collateral Damage (2002), …

(Hey, 50+ that’s something. This is a true huge blockbuster action though, we couldn’t pass it up. I think Crossover is pretty intriguing, as is Biker Boyz. Those would have been the others I would be interested in. I’ve seen the Core a number of times, so we’ll eventually do that, but it isn’t pressing.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Arnold Schwarzenegger is No. 1 billed in Collateral Damage and No. 5 billed in The Expendables 3, which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 5) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The movie was supposed to include the famous Colombian actress Sofía Vergara, who played an airplane hijacker. But after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack, the scene where Vergara would hijack a plane was scratched from the movie. Moreover, scenes which might be considered unpatriotic have been excluded.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is never shown firing a gun on screen.

The film was originally scheduled to be released on October 5, 2001, but it was postponed due to its terrorism theme and eventually released on Friday, February 8, 2002.

After the terrorist attacks on the USA of 11 September 2001, Warner Bros. pulled all advertising of the film which had included a mock newspaper clipping alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger’s face featuring the word “bombing” and the tagline “What would you do if you lost everything?” and its Collateral Damage (2002) movie website that had included a game called “Hunting for the Wolf”. When the film was finally released in 2002, the film’s poster was revamped with shot of an explosion due to the U.S. subsequent invasion of Afghanistan in the background of Arnold’s face in the foreground and the film’s original tagline missing. The website was completely revamped with nothing but production stills, bios, the film’s synopsis, and cast and crew material. The games and other material that had been on the original version of the website were completely eliminated.

In an interview on Howard Stern in 2014, actor Bill Hader admits to being Arnold Schwarzenegger’s production assistant (PA) on Collateral Damage, although he was uncredited in the film.

Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) Preview

“Ahhhhhhhhh,” Kyle screams. “Ahhhhhhh, you’re super gross. Ahhhhhhh.” It’s the best he can muster given that he will assuredly die at the hands of the horrific winged rat that has come to murder him. Jorge runs screaming down a nearby corridor, which appears to distress the rat monster. It sighs. “No one comes back from the catacombs. Time works differently in the catacombs,” it mumbles. It turns back to Kyle. “So how is my beautiful boy? Have you made my meat friends beautiful for me?” Kyle stops screaming and looks around the room. There are large sculptures of bones, hair, and meat scattered about. They are oddly beautiful creatures. “Oh joy!” the rat monster exclaims, “they are beautiful indeed. Wonder of wonders. You are truly my beautiful boy, Kyle. And more than that. You are my beautiful friend.” Kyle is extremely confused. The rat monster continues to explain helpfully. “As promised I will give you back your meat friends for my meat friends and thank you. No one ever makes them for me. They always run screaming into the catacombs and time works differently there. They don’t come back. But your friends fainted after I snatched them and then you seemed to think I was someone else. Usually they just run into the catacombs and…” Kyle stops paying attention. It appears the catacombs are the way the prison has gotten rid of unwanted prisoners. Or perhaps they thought it was the monster. It’s a bit confusing really. Regardless, it appears that in his haze he had satisfied some contract with the monster and everything was actually OK. “Where are my… meat friends?” He asks. The rat monster brightens. “Oh, I stashed them over there,” it says, and points at the catacombs. Kyle sighs. This is going to be a nightmare. That’s right! We are entering the final nightmare by watching the Nightmare on Elm Street remake from 2010. Seems like a bad idea at the time and it was. Great. Let’s go!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) – BMeTric: 61.3; Notability: 51

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 5.6%; Notability: top 9.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 10.2%; Higher BMeT: The Last Airbender, Vampires Suck, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Skyline, Sex and the City 2, Furry Vengeance, Jonah Hex, Marmaduke, Gulliver’s Travels, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Yogi Bear, Tekken, My Soul to Take, Tooth Fairy; Higher Notability: Clash of the Titans, The Wolfman, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Sex and the City 2, The Tourist, Valentine’s Day, Gulliver’s Travels, Marmaduke, Little Fockers, Tooth Fairy, The Last Airbender, Shanghai, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, Eat Pray Love, All Good Things, Jonah Hex, Burlesque, Takers, When in Rome, and 3 more; Lower RT: Tekken, Father of Invention, Passion Play, Twelve, Shanghai, Vampires Suck, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, The Last Airbender, Waiting for Forever, The Tortured, 13, 6 Souls, Furry Vengeance, Crazy on the Outside, Saw 3D, Marmaduke, Little Fockers, Killers, Grown Ups, My Soul to Take, and 5 more; Notes: Let’s see. Another crazy high Notability and BMeTric. 7/14 for higher BMeTric, but get this … it was 7/7 for the top seven and then nothing for the next seven which is kind of funny. 9/20 for the top 20 Notabilities. The biggest crime is probably us not biting the bullet and doing all the Meet the Parents films.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – Forget about the plot, the actors and the director. What you require to make a new “Nightmare on Elm Street” are these three off-the-shelf sound effects: 1. A sudden, loud clanging noise mixed with a musical chord. 2. Snicker-snack sounds, which Freddy Krueger’s steel finger claws make every time they are seen. 3. A voice deepener, to drop Freddy’s speaking voice to an ominous level. … I stared at “A Nightmare on Elm Street” with weary resignation. The movie consists of a series of teenagers who are introduced, haunted by nightmares and then slashed to death by Freddy. So what? Are we supposed to be scared? Is the sudden clanging chord supposed to evoke a fearful Pavlovian response? For Rufus, maybe, but not for me. Here, boy.

(I kind of agree. The issue with the film is that it doesn’t really bring much new stuff to the table and what is new isn’t usually great. So why? Why remake the series. Why not just split off as a direct sequel to the original or something. I feel like Halloween ultimately had the write idea even if the execution left something to be desired.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNWZVIYGapI/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNWZVIYGapI/

(Boom, the Ohio flag front and center. So they at least got that right. You have to firmly established what state this movie is in. Otherwise it is no fun. Oh, I remember seeing the makeup in like Entertainment Weekly or something and just being very unimpressed.)

Directors – Samuel Bayer – ( BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street; Notes: From what I can tell he has over 100 directing credits and this is the only feature. They are basically all music videos.)

Writers – Wesley Strick – ( Known For: Cape Fear; Arachnophobia; Wolf; Return to Paradise; Final Analysis; True Believer; Love Is the Drug; Future BMT: The Saint; The Glass House; BMT: Doom; A Nightmare on Elm Street; The Loft; Notes: Wrote seven episodes of The Man in the High Castle more recently. His last feature was the BMT film The Loft.)

Eric Heisserer – ( Known For: Arrival; Bird Box; Lights Out; Final Destination 5; Extinction; Hours; Future BMT: The Thing; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street; Bloodshot; Notes: Apparently attached to a new Van Helsing film. Has written and developed the Shadow and Bone television show.)

Wes Craven – ( Known For: A Nightmare on Elm Street; The Hills Have Eyes; Freddy vs. Jason; The Last House on the Left; A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors; A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge; Paris, I Love You; New Nightmare; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; The Last House on the Left; The People Under the Stairs; The Hills Have Eyes; Swamp Thing; The Hills Have Eyes Part II; Deadly Blessing; Future BMT: The Hills Have Eyes 2; Pulse; My Soul to Take; Shocker; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street; Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare; A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child; Notes: Obviously a character credit only. I would probably think it is cool to finish Wes Craven’s filmography at some point … but I kind of don’t want to watch The Hills Have Eyes.)

Actors – Jackie Earle Haley – ( Known For: Shutter Island; Watchmen; Alita: Battle Angel; Lincoln; RoboCop; Little Children; Breaking Away; The Bad News Bears; The Birth of a Nation; Parkland; Criminal Activities; Winged Creatures; The Retirement Plan; Nemesis; The Day of the Locust; Damnation Alley; Losin’ It; Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence; The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training; My Father’s Dragon; Future BMT: Dark Shadows; Semi-Pro; All the King’s Men; BMT: London Has Fallen; The Dark Tower; A Nightmare on Elm Street; Hypnotic; Notes: Former child actor most notably for The Bad News Bears. He’s all over the place still, although I don’t recognize the four projects he has in production. Nominated for an Oscar for Little Children.)

Rooney Mara – ( Known For: The Social Network; Her; The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; Lion; Side Effects; Nightmare Alley; Carol; Kubo and the Two Strings; A Ghost Story; Youth in Revolt; Women Talking; The Discovery; Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot; Trash; Ain’t Them Bodies Saints; Song to Song; Una; Mary Magdalene; The Secret Scripture; The Winning Season; Future BMT: Pan; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street; Notes: Wow that’s an impressive filmography light on qualifiers. She’s somehow related for both Rooney and Mara the owners of the Steelers and Jets.)

Kyle Gallner – ( Known For: American Sniper; Smile; Scream; Jennifer’s Body; Red Eye; Beautiful Creatures; The Finest Hours; Red State; Wet Hot American Summer; Dear White People; Just Before I Go; Smashed; Red; Ghosts of War; CBGB; The Cleansing Hour; Beautiful Boy; The Passenger; Dinner in America; Little Birds; BMT: A Nightmare on Elm Street; The Haunting in Connecticut; Notes: I mostly know him for Veronica Mars, season 2. Although now I do realize he’s the swimming kid who loses his buddy in Wet Hot American Summer.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $63,075,011 (Worldwide: $115,695,339)

(That’s actually not bad considering the budget. See? Horror prints money. Even bad horror. It is a wonder they didn’t just charge forward with a sequel.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 14% (26/184): Visually faithful but lacking the depth and subversive twists that made the original so memorable, the Nightmare on Elm Street remake lives up to its title in the worst possible way.

(Yeah, that is it right? The original had a few very in your face moments. The body bag, the electric claws, the rotating room, the man eating bed, the elastic wall, etc. A ton. This either copied all of those or just didn’t bring anything new or interesting to the table.)

Reviewer Highlight: Traffics in overly familiar scare tactics, setting up predictable false alarms and telegraphing in advance just when Freddy will pop into the frame and utter one of his labored witticisms. – A.O. Scott, New York Times

Poster – Frightmare on Sklog Street

(Sure why not. I’m not going to knock them going for a classic. A touch of font to spice it up. I’m cool with it. B+.)

Tagline(s) – Welcome to Your New Nightmare. (C-)

(Nah. You can’t take the title of the last movie and just use it as the tagline.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

Top 10: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), The Hangover Part II (2011), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), In Time (2011), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 2012 (2009), Terminator Salvation (2009), Due Date (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.6 Shark Night (2011), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 78.0 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.6 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 72.1 Dance Flick (2009), 71.3 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Prom Night (2008), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), …

Best Options (franchise): 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 71.3 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 64.8 The Final Destination (2009), 64.1 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014), 62.2 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008), 61.3 Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), 61.2 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 61.0 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 58.5 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), 57.9 The Transporter Refueled (2015), 55.2 Annabelle (2014), 53.3 Meet the Browns (2008), 53.0 Madea’s Witness Protection (2012), 51.1 Madea’s Big Happy Family (2011), 51.1 Little Fockers (2010), 50.9 Saw 3D (2010), …

(We could have done Paranormal Activity 4 but that would have been a disaster. This was an option that finished off a major franchise, didn’t have a ton of homework, and was considered terrible. By far the best option.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jackie Earle Haley is No. 1 billed in A Nightmare on Elm Street and No. 6 billed in Hypnotic, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 6) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 15. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Freddy’s sweater was knitted by Judy Graham, the same woman who knitted Freddy’s sweater in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984).

Kyle Gallner suffered a cut to his abdomen when the glove Jackie Earle Haley had been wearing failed to bend back down, leaving one of the knives still extended. Haley didn’t realize this until the scene was finished.

For his big scene in the opening sequence, Kellan Lutz chose not to sleep for a few days to get himself into character.

When Jackie Earle Haley was asked what put him in the right mindset to play Freddy Krueger, he said “sitting in the makeup chair for three hours. After that, you feel like you could kill someone.”

Freddy says that the human brain will still function well over seven minutes after death. This is actually true, the human brain will function nearly ten minutes after death. Note: This is not true. If the brain is still functioning, you are, by definition, not dead. You may dying, but those are not the same things.

G-Force Preview

Between dancing with his mannequins and assuring his mother that he is making them beautiful for her (always for her) during one of her many unsettling visits to his room, Kyle slowly makes his way to the mannequin in the corner. “Pssst,” he whispers, not wanting to alert his mother or make the other mannequins jealous. “Is… is someone else there?” A shaky voice responds. He was right! This isn’t just a gorgeous mannequin, it’s a man trapped down here like him. He tells him what has happened. “Whu… Kyle? My god, it’s me, Jorge. How? We were sent down after you. Me and the other Dos Amigos. They’re gone. They’re dead.” Kyle is shaken. He doesn’t want to ask the question but he can’t help it. How long ago did they get sent down to the basement? The room grows colder. He could feel his mother returning. “Kyle… it’s been three weeks. They said you guys were fine. That you got all your spoons and we could too,” Jorge responds. Kyle quickly tries to explain. The hallucinations. The flashlight. Why is it happening to him? The questions are spilling out of him. They can hear the door creaking open. His mother! My god! Jorge grabs him by the shirt and shakes him hard. “Help me, you imbecile. You are just protecting yourself with your memories of a safe place. Your youthful mannequin factory. Snap out of it and help me!” At that, Jorge slaps him and his eyes clear. He is shocked and disgusted to find he’s not in a cozy mannequin factory at all. He’s in a dusty basement and numerous rodents are crawling around his feet. When he looks up he sees his mother… but now she’s a giant rat with wings and it is super gross. That’s right! We are watching a film full of super gross rodents. No, it’s not a rewatch of Graveyard Shift (I wish). It’s G-Force where a bunch of guinea pigs are on a secret mission to take money from unsuspecting parents of kids who like talking animals. Gross. Let’s go!

G-Force (2009) – BMeTric: 61.6; Notability: 71

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.8%; Notability: top 4.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.8%; Higher BMeT: Dragonball Evolution, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience, Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, The Twilight Saga: New Moon, Stan Helsing, S. Darko, The Unborn, Dance Flick, Halloween II, Year One, All About Steve, Did You Hear About the Morgans?, The Final Destination, Bitch Slap, Survival of the Dead, Obsessed; Higher Notability: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, 2012, Angels & Demons, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Terminator Salvation, The Lovely Bones, Nine, Fast & Furious, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Land of the Lost; Lower RT: Labor Pains, Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Miss March, Old Dogs, All About Steve, Whiteout, Beyond a Reasonable Doubt, Echelon Conspiracy, Post Grad, My Life in Ruins, The Unborn, Bride Wars, Couples Retreat, Did You Hear About the Morgans?, The Pink Panther 2, The Stepfather, S. Darko, I Love You, Beth Cooper, The Ugly Truth, Year One, and 19 more; Notes: That Notability is insane. Is it because you have a whole cast of voice actors and regular actors? I am peronsonally 7/11 for the Notability ones and 8/17 on BMeTric, so still a ways to go on 2009.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – “G-Force” is a pleasant, inoffensive 3-D animated farce about a team of superspy guinea pigs who do battle with a mad billionaire who wants to conquer the earth by programming all the home appliances made by his corporation to follow his instructions. It will possibly be enjoyed by children of all ages.

(Children of all ages, huh? I disagree. It skews a bit young, especially the middle bit where it is just a bunch of CGI guinea pigs running around without a discernible plot.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD_fezWiaZ0/

(They put the sexy guinea pig in the trailer! What are we teaching our kids? The cast is stacked though. This trailer is also so long, what the hell?)

Directors – Hoyt Yeatman – ( BMT: G-Force; Notes: A very well established visual effects guy. Still does stuff, he’s the supervisor on the show Schmigadoon! for example. Won an Oscar for The Abyss, and was nominated for Mighty Joe Young.)

Writers – Cormac Wibberley and Marianne Wibberley – ( Known For: National Treasure; Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle; The 6th Day; Motel Blue; Future BMT: Bad Boys II; National Treasure: Book of Secrets; The Shaggy Dog; BMT: I Spy; G-Force; Notes: Married, and they seem to have some relationship with Nic Cage maybe. Cormac’s father was a writer in his own right, including writing the novel The Mouse that Roared.)

Hoyt Yeatman – ( BMT: G-Force; Notes: He possibly has a second feature directing job lined up called Voyager 3D … but I’m skeptical.)

David P.I. James – ( BMT: G-Force; Notes: Also a visual effects guy, worked with Yeatman on at least Mission to Mars I think. He did effects on the BMT classic Ghosted.)

Actors – Will Arnett – ( Known For: Ratatouille; Despicable Me; The Lego Movie; Men in Black³; Ice Age: The Meltdown; Grindhouse; Blades of Glory; Monsters vs. Aliens; The Lego Batman Movie; Horton Hears a Who!; Minions: The Rise of Gru; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; Wristcutters: A Love Story; Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers; The Rocker; Teen Titans GO! To the Movies; Next Goal Wins; Rumble; Series 7: The Contenders; Future BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows; Hot Rod; Semi-Pro; Monster-in-Law; RV; The Nut Job; Let’s Go to Prison; The Comebacks; The Brothers Solomon; The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; When in Rome; Jonah Hex; G-Force; Show Dogs; Notes: Nominated for 7 Emmys which I found kind of crazy because I couldn’t really think of what show he did that garnered that amount of love. It was once for Arrested Development, four times as a guest star on 30 Rock, and twice as the producer of Bojack Horseman. Kind of amazing he’s top billed.)

Penélope Cruz – ( Known For: Murder on the Orient Express; Blow; Vicky Cristina Barcelona; Volver; All About My Mother; To Rome with Love; Open Your Eyes; Pain and Glory; Broken Embraces; Ferrari; Everybody Knows; Bandidas; Parallel Mothers; Live Flesh; I’m So Excited!; Elegy; Loving Pablo; Twice Born; Head in the Clouds; Jamón, Jamón; Future BMT: Gothika; The Brothers Grimsby; The Counselor; Sahara; Nine; The 355; All the Pretty Horses; Woman on Top; BMT: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides; Vanilla Sky; Sex and the City 2; Zoolander 2; G-Force; Captain Corelli’s Mandolin; Notes: Kind of insane she is listed first among the voice actors! Won an Oscar for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and was nominated three other times including for the future BMT film Nine which is bizarre to think about.)

Zach Galifianakis – ( Known For: The Hangover; Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance); Into the Wild; Up in the Air; Puss in Boots; The Lego Batman Movie; It’s Kind of a Funny Story; The Campaign; Dinner for Schmucks; The Muppets; Youth in Revolt; Heartbreakers; A Wrinkle in Time; Ron’s Gone Wrong; Muppets Most Wanted; Between Two Ferns: The Movie; Missing Link; Below; The Bob’s Burgers Movie; Justin Bieber’s Believe; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; Masterminds; Bubble Boy; Tulip Fever; Corky Romano; BMT: What Happens in Vegas; Keeping Up with the Joneses; G-Force; Out Cold; Notes: His current career is kind of weird. Lots of voice acting at this point (including an upcoming Lilo & Stitch remake?). But then he does odd small comedies, and he’s playing himself (presumably as the penthouse resident) in the next season of Only Murders in the Building.)

Budget/Gross – $150,000,000 / Domestic: $119,436,770 (Worldwide: $292,817,898)

(See. I feel like the original budget for this was like $100 million and they would have been fine. A small profit, but still fine. $300 million worldwide and probably not making a ton is just not how children’s programming works I think.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (28/128): G-Force features manic action, but fails to come up with interesting characters or an inspired plot.

(Yeah that sounds correct. The rating is actually lover that I expected. Something about this film screams 30s. But 22% is really really solid.)

Reviewer Highlight: Pointing out G-Force’s plot holes would be redundant; it’s more hole than plot, and more videogame commercial and exhausted-old-trope clearinghouse than film. – Tasha Robinson, AV Club

Poster – skloG-Force

(Why in the world are they in a desert? And why are there helicopters in the background? Are they… are they implying that these guinea pigs are somehow involved in a ground war in the Middle East? My word. D)

Tagline(s) – The world needs bigger heroes (A-)

(Ha! I don’t like the poster at all, but I like this tagline. It’s funny. So sue me.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Prom Night (2008), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Ouija (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011), Getaway (2013), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), …

Best Options (Fist Fight): 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 64.8 Sex Tape (2014), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 61.6 G-Force (2009), 59.4 First Sunday (2008), 55.1 Evan Almighty (2007), 54.4 The Counselor (2013), 52.3 How Do You Know (2010), 50.5 Cop Out (2010), 48.6 Lottery Ticket (2010), 43.9 Prom (2011), 42.8 12 Rounds (2009), 40.1 The Heartbreak Kid (2007), 37.9 Think Like a Man Too (2014), 37.1 Hall Pass (2011), 34.1 Taken 3 (2014), 30.4 Vacation (2015), 24.7 The Internship (2013), 24.7 The Change-Up (2011), 24.7 Horrible Bosses 2 (2014), 24.0 Before I Go to Sleep (2014), 23.2 Secret in Their Eyes (2015), 21.7 Let’s Be Cops (2014), 19.1 Life as We Know It (2010), 18.6 For Colored Girls (2010), 15.8 The Odd Life of Timothy Green (2012), 15.2 Men, Women & Children (2014), 14.8 Max (2015), 14.2 Death Sentence (2007), 13.6 When the Game Stands Tall (2014), 4.7 Little Boy (2015)

(Because it is really considered to be quite bad this is actually an impressive option. Spoiler: I’ve actually seen Sex Tape (a boring commercial for an iPad and Apple cloud storage) and Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (really unpleasant and unnecessary), so those were never in the cards. This gave the best through-line for the chain in the end.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Nicolas Cage is No. 5 billed in G-Force and No. 1 billed in The Wicker Man, which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (5 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Director Hoyt Yeatman’s son, Hoyt Yeatman IV, came up with the original idea for the film when he was five years old. Yeatman liked his son’s story so much that he brought it to producer Jerry Bruckheimer.

The “Coke” Ferris wheel shown in the movie is located on the island of Okinawa, Japan in a shopping and entertainment district called “American Village.”

This was Jerry Bruckheimer’s first 3-D film.

Nicolas Cage’s 2nd time voice acting in a theatrical film, after The Ant Bully (2006).

This is the second film that Nicolas Cage and Steve Buscemi made with Jerry Bruckheimer since Con Air (1997).

I Don’t Know How She Does It Preview

Oh, how they danced! Kyle and Sabrina twirled the night away. “This is the best prom evvvveerrrrrr,” Kyle screamed in glee. The lights! The decorations! The “Mannequin Factory After Dark” theme! Sweating, he asks if she would like to sit and have a drink. “The punch looks delicious,” he says. She gives no response. Playing coy, as usual. “Oh, you are incorrigible,” he says with a chuckle, “but I am tired so why don’t you take a seat and I’ll grab you a drink.” As he fetches the punch he realizes the flashlight in his hand is flickering. As he puts it up to his face to try to steady the beam it flashes again and briefly blinds him. In that moment he gets the sense that he’s not at the prom at all. It seemed instead that he was in some horrific underground lair. The floor is strewn with bones. The air is musty and cold. Worst of all he caught a glimpse of two men unconscious on the floor. While muscular, these men weren’t overly muscular but rather ideal in tone. They had the bodies of dancers and were exceptionally handsome to boot. He gasps when he realizes the most startling fact. They were identical. Identical just like his beautiful mannequins. He must save these mannequin-like men! But when he looks at his flashlight is now completely dead. He looks around the prom, but it’s again all beautiful dancing mannequins as far as the eye can see. How can such heaven also be such hell? Suddenly he sees a mannequin in the corner shaking with fear. She’s afraid. How strange. That’s it! This mannequin must be able to see the world for what it is… but how? “I don’t know how she does it,” Kyle mutters. That’s right! We are watching I Don’t Know How She Does It… more like I Don’t Know Why We’re Watching This, am I right? Let’s go!

I Don’t Know How She Does It (2011) – BMeTric: 57.9; Notability: 38

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 7.6%; Notability: top 16.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 10.6%; Higher BMeT: Jack and Jill, The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World, Shark Night, Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1, 11-11-11, Hellraiser: Revelations, The Roommate, The Darkest Hour, Conan the Barbarian, Abduction, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, Zookeeper, Apollo 18, Twixt; Higher Notability: Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Cars 2, Green Lantern, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1, New Year’s Eve, The Smurfs, Hop, Red Riding Hood, Your Highness, Jack and Jill, Battle Los Angeles, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, The Hangover Part II, Sucker Punch, I Am Number Four, In Time, Larry Crowne, Johnny English Reborn, Just Go with It, and 21 more; Lower RT: Faces in the Crowd, Hellraiser: Revelations, Love, Wedding, Marriage, Jack and Jill, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, The Roommate, A Little Bit of Heaven, Hick, Abduction, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Dream House, New Year’s Eve, 11-11-11, Trespass, Red Riding Hood, Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, Season of the Witch, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, The Darkest Hour, Atlas Shrugged: Part I, and 6 more; Notes: We really are at almost exactly half of the big boys in this era, it is amazing. We have so many to do, but I would argue we really have hit up like 70% of the best options. Ugh, we have to rewatch the Transformer films at some point.

EW – D+ – I don’t know why she does it.

(That’s a classic zinger by Lisa Schwarzbaum from EW. I might have to buy the last Leonard Maltin guide. I can get the 2010 edition online (kind of), but I just miss this one and I am pretty curious as to what Ebert / Maltin thought of this. Alas this had to be a rare miss.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJPKOS9DZeg

(We talking about a secret Christmas film in New York?! I guess sign me up. Oh the movie? Looks lame.)

Directors – Douglas McGrath – ( Known For: Emma; Infamous; Nicholas Nickleby; Company Man; Becoming Mike Nichols; BMT: I Don’t Know How She Does It; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for writing Bullets Over Broadway. Died in 2022.)

Writers – Aline Brosh McKenna – ( Known For: The Devil Wears Prada; Cruella; 27 Dresses; We Bought a Zoo; Morning Glory; Your Place or Mine; Future BMT: Annie; Laws of Attraction; Three to Tango; BMT: I Don’t Know How She Does It; Notes: Created Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Was apparently the fifth person hired to adapt The Devil Wears Prada.)

Allison Pearson – ( BMT: I Don’t Know How She Does It; Notes: Apparently a columnist for The Daily Telegraph and supported Brexit.)

Actors – Sarah Jessica Parker – ( Known For: Mars Attacks!; Ed Wood; Sex and the City; Footloose; The Family Stone; The First Wives Club; Hocus Pocus 2; Flight of the Navigator; L.A. Story; Smart People; State and Main; Extreme Measures; Honeymoon in Vegas; Girls Just Want to Have Fun; Strangers with Candy; All Roads Lead to Rome; Miami Rhapsody; Here and Now; What She Said: The Art of Pauline Kael; Spinning Into Butter; Future BMT: Hocus Pocus; Striking Distance; If Lucy Fell; ‘Til There Was You; Firstborn; BMT: New Year’s Eve; Failure to Launch; Sex and the City 2; Did You Hear About the Morgans?; Escape from Planet Earth; I Don’t Know How She Does It; Dudley Do-Right; Notes: Nominated for 10 Emmys for Sex and the City, won two of them. Still doing it too, which is kind of a trip to think about.)

Pierce Brosnan – ( Known For: The World’s End; Mrs. Doubtfire; Mamma Mia!; GoldenEye; Mars Attacks!; Die Another Day; The World Is Not Enough; Tomorrow Never Dies; Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief; The Ghost Writer; The Foreigner; Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again; Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga; The Thomas Crown Affair; No Escape; Cinderella; The Matador; Survivor; The Out-Laws; A Long Way Down; Future BMT: Remember Me; Dante’s Peak; The November Man; After the Sunset; Laws of Attraction; Love Affair; BMT: Black Adam; The Lawnmower Man; I Don’t Know How She Does It; The King’s Daughter; Notes: I talked a bit about his family like in the Black Adam preview. He’s James Bond! Sure most of his Bond films weren’t very good, but GoldenEye is still great, and a great video game.)

Kelsey Grammer – ( Known For: X-Men: Days of Future Past; Toy Story 2; X-Men: The Last Stand; Anastasia; Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising; The Marvels; Storks; Middle Men; Like Father; Jesus Revolution; Father Christmas Is Back; Crazy on the Outside; Best of Enemies: Buckley vs. Vidal; Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans; Money Plane; Grand Isle; Even Money; The God Committee; The Big Empty; 7 Guardians of the Tomb; Future BMT: Entourage; 15 Minutes; Down Periscope; Think Like a Man Too; Just Visiting; Swing Vote; Fame; An American Carol; BMT: Transformers: Age of Extinction; The Expendables 3; I Don’t Know How She Does It; Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return; Notes: Won five Emmys. Was kind of famously a rare right wing Hollywood guy back when that was just considered an odd quirk of the Clinton era.)

Budget/Gross – $24,000,000 / Domestic: $9,662,284 (Worldwide: $31,410,151)

(Brutal return. But then again … I had never heard of this film until this very moment, so I guess that makes sense.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (19/114): A limp comedy with a hopelessly outdated viewpoint on gender, featuring Sarah Jessica Parker in rote Carrie-mode.

(Yeah, it seems like the storyline seems a tad bit old fashioned. I fear I’m going to find out exactly why they got Kelsey Grammer for this film…)

Reviewer Highlight: “I Don’t Know How She Does It” seems stuck in the past. – Stephen Holden, New York Times

Poster – I Don’t Know Why We’re Watching This

(A joke so nice I’ll use it twice. I might even use it thrice. Stay tuned. So this is bad, but it’s artistic in a way that belies its badness. Does that make it good? Not exactly. But it rises all the way up to mediocrity. C.)

Tagline(s) – If it were easy, men would do it too. (F)

(I don’t… I don’t know what this means.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Interstellar (2014), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), Django Unchained (2012), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), The Avengers (2012), Shutter Island (2010), Avatar (2009)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 77.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.1 The Pyramid (2014), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 69.4 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 69.2 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 68.7 Captivity (2007)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Prom Night (2008), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ouija (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Getaway (2013), …

Best Options (Romance): 64.8 Sex Tape (2014), 62.1 Obsessed (2009), 58.0 I Don’t Know How She Does It (2011), 55.4 The Back-up Plan (2010), 53.2 Aloha (2015), 52.3 How Do You Know (2010), 51.1 Little Fockers (2010), 51.0 Over Her Dead Body (2008), …

(yeah, relatively low, but I can see why we chose this. Obsessed is for another day I feel like (and I’m pretty sure Jamie already saw it), and I’ve definitely seen Sex Tape and that’s a comedy. This one is one of the rare true blue romantic comedies I think.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Greg Kinnear is No. 3 billed in I Don’t Know How She Does It and No. 1 billed in Godsend, which also stars Rebecca Romijn (No. 2 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 3 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 1) + (2 + 3) + (1 + 2) = 12. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The painting on the wall, when they are in the restaurant having dinner, is from famous painter Jean-Michel Basquiat.

Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear appeared in The Matador (2005) and Salvation Boulevard (2011).

Sarah Jessica Parker and Pierce Brosnan appeared in Mars Attacks! (1996).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Sarah Jessica Parker)

Prom Night (2008) Preview

Kyle creeps down the darkened stairs, his flashlight flickering. “Damn prison batteries,” he mutters, his breath starting to puff out in front of him. It’s cold down there… too cold. He can feel the presence of the Big BM. “Hey you… you big dummy. Let go of my friends!” He yells, trying to summon all his courage. A deep scratchy laugh begins to echo from further in the basement, like the laugh of a very large man with a sore throat. Perhaps the man had spent the previous day in meetings trying to figure out a high profile merger or trying to close a deal to buy a local amusement park. Regardless of the reason, this man had spent the entire previous afternoon talking loudly and lot more than usual and then maybe celebrated the merger/purchase of the amusement park with friends… so now his deep voice was scratchier than usual. Such was the laugh of the Big BM. Suddenly Kyle bumps into something. My god! It’s a man! No wait… it’s a mannequin. What thuuuu….? The laugh begins to echo again and it suddenly dawns on Kyle where he is. “It… it can’t be,” he stutters. The lights come on and he finds himself in his childhood room. He’s surrounded by the mannequins his parents kept there. His mother is there yelling at him. Telling him he can’t go to prom. “There’s too much work in the mannequin factory, Kyle. You must help with the mannequins. Make them beautiful my beautiful boy,” she yells before sweeping out of the room. He wants to cry. Can’t she see they are already beautiful? “The most beautiful in the world,” he mutters. He turns to his favorite and nervously asks, “will you go to prom with me?” She says yes. That’s right! We are watching the 2008 horror classic Prom Night. This hits a sweet spot for me in that it is a high school/college horror film. Nothing better. Let’s go!

Prom Night (2008) – BMeTric: 84.3; Notability: 40

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 16.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.5%; Higher BMeT: Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie, The Hottie & the Nottie, The Love Guru; Higher Notability: The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Eagle Eye, New York, I Love You, Miracle at St. Anna, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Meet Dave, Jumper, Bedtime Stories, Semi-Pro, Drillbit Taylor, An American Carol, 10,000 BC, The Happening, Made of Honor, The Love Guru, Superhero Movie, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Seven Pounds, Four Christmases, and 20 more; Lower RT: One Missed Call, Surfer, Dude, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, Strange Wilderness, The Haunting of Molly Hartley, College, The Accidental Husband, The Hottie & the Nottie, Babylon A.D., Bangkok Dangerous; Notes: That is a huge BMeTric. The four with higher BMeTrics are something else indeed. We’ve only seen four of the films with lover RTs as well, so much to look forward to.

Leonard Maltin – 2.5 stars – Three years after a homicidally obsessive teacher (Schaech) murdered her family, a lovely high-schooler (Snow) is stalked by an unwanted admirer on the night of her senior prom. A nominal remake of the post-Halloween slasher film, this better-than-average teen-skewing thriller relies on minimal graphic violence to sustain suspense.

(Wow, he actually liked it! He hates horror films, but … wait a minute, “minimal graphic violence”!! There it is. Of course he likes it well enough.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayvHRgYNvzU/

(Oh man the music!!!! Jesus I would watch a thousand of these films. It looks so dumb and amazing. Hell yes.)

Directors – Nelson McCormick – ( Future BMT: The Stepfather; BMT: Prom Night; Notes: A television director through and through. Directed such classics as Prison Break.)

Writers – J.S. Cardone – ( Known For: Alien Hunter; The Slayer; Shadowzone; Outside Ozona; True Blue; Black Day Blue Night; Exit in Red; Thunder Alley; A Climate for Killing; Future BMT: The Stepfather; The Forsaken; BMT: The Covenant; Prom Night; Notes: He wrote some truly sublime junk in his day. Sniper 3? Yes, please.)

Actors – Brittany Snow – ( Known For: Pitch Perfect; X; Pitch Perfect 2; Hairspray; Would You Rather; Someone Great; Hangman; Bushwick; Syrup; The Late Bloomer; The Vicious Kind; Finding Amanda; 96 Minutes; Janie Jones; Hooking Up; Christmas with the Campbells; On the Doll; Dial a Prayer; Always Woodstock; Petunia; Future BMT: John Tucker Must Die; Pitch Perfect 3; BMT: The Pacifier; Prom Night; Notes: Has six things in production at the moment. One is simply called It’s Christmas! Which I think is about someone dying or something … crazy if true.)

Scott Porter – ( Known For: Music and Lyrics; Speed Racer; The To Do List; 10 Years; Bandslam; The Good Guy; Descent; Brampton’s Own; Future BMT: Dear John; BMT: Prom Night; Notes: You best believe that is Jason Street! He does a lot of voice stuff these days, and more television like Up Here on Hulu.)

Jessica Stroup – ( Known For: Ted; The Informers; This Christmas; Homecoming; Broken; Pray for Morning; Future BMT: Jack Reacher: Never Go Back; The Hills Have Eyes 2; BMT: Prom Night; School for Scoundrels; Notes: Was in Iron Fist, the television series, but since that got canceled she really hasn’t done much. She got married in 2022 which could explain her career slowing a bit.)

Budget/Gross – $20,000,000 / Domestic: $43,869,350 (Worldwide: $57,197,876)

(That is pretty good. Man, horror really just prints money.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 9% (6/69): A dim and predictable remake of an already dull slasher film, this Prom Night fails to be memorable.

(Already a dull slasher film?! How dare … oh wait, yeah … I guess it does take the original like an hour to even get a kill cooking. So I guess that is fair.)

Reviewer Highlight: For a film about erotomania, Prom Night is a curiously flaccid affair. – Jeannette Catsoulis, New York Times

Poster – Sklog Night

(I don’t like the poster mostly because it feels like it’s lying. It looks more like a torture porn film like Captivity or something. But it’s not. Way more fun that what this looks like. But it’s also not like it’s exactly bad, either. B.)

Tagline(s) – A Night To Die For. (A-)

(Sure. I mean, it’s not going to win any awards for originality, but it’s trying for the clever angle that I appreciate.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Prom Night (2008), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ouija (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Getaway (2013), …

Best Options (Horror): 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.3 Prom Night (2008), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015), 70.9 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 70.1 The Pyramid (2014), 68.7 Captivity (2007), 66.3 The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014), 65.5 My Soul to Take (2010), 64.8 The Final Destination (2009), 64.0 Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014), 63.0 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 61.3 A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), 58.8 Sorority Row (2009), 58.5 Resident Evil: Retribution (2012), 58.0 The Lazarus Effect (2015), 58.0 Legion (2010), 56.8 Shutter (2008), 56.0 Sinister 2 (2015), 55.2 Annabelle (2014), 55.1 The Green Inferno (2013), 54.2 The Messengers (2007), 52.4 The Eye (2008), 50.9 Saw 3D (2010), 50.2 House at the End of the Street (2012), …

(Hellllll yeah. I don’t even think Vampires Suck is even a horror film, so this one is (by far) the best option. I think crushing the Paranormal Activity films will be exciting in the future.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Brittany Snow is No. 1 billed in Prom Night and No. 4 billed in The Pacifier, which also stars Vin Diesel (No. 1 billed) who is in Babylon A.D. (No. 1 billed) which also stars Michelle Yeoh (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 4 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch Sinister 2, and 40 Days and 40 Nights we can get the HoE Number down to 19.

Notes – Aside from the title and the concept of teenagers being stalked by a killer at prom, this film shares no connection to the original Prom Night (1980).

During the scene at the hair salon, the original Myers house from the original Halloween (1978) can be seen outside the window . Jamie Lee Curtis, who starred in Halloween, also starred in the original Prom Night (1980).

Nelson McCormick had done extensive research into proms going as far back as where and when the first prom was ever held in American history in the film, compiling detailed portfolios for the cast and crew, which had an introduction on the origin of the prom and what it represents. However, writer J.S. Cardone, when going over what would be the titular prom with McCormick, ultimately decided on a prom which, apart from the music and dancing of the Bridgeport seniors, was beyond the scale or budget of a standard American prom.

Scott Porter is 7 years older than Brittany Snow, while playing high school seniors who are the same age.

Johnathon Schaech (Richard Fenton) and Jana Kramer (April) met on the set of this movie and were married between 2010-2011.