Tag: bonus

Major League II Recap

Jamie

I was just thinking the other day how infrequently I rewatch movies. If you look at films made from 2010 onwards I think I’ve only seen four or five more than once. This of course is totally different from the heyday of Comedy Central. I watched Major League and Major League II so many times that they legit melded into one three and a half hour movie in my head. Tanaka is in Major League as far as my brain is concerned. How did Jake both bunt to win the pennant and coach the ALCS? Parkman was the bad guy in both films, right? RIGHT?! This is just a byproduct of how we consume movies and how you can pretty much watch everything you want at the push of a button. Is that better? I can only assume so since if I grew up now I wouldn’t have watched Major League II a million times.

To recap, Wild Thang is back, Jack! What’s that? Wild Thing wasn’t really the main character of the first film? That’s true, but we need the young blood to take over as a romantic lead (wolf whistle, wolf whistle). It’s a new year and lucky for us viewers the team is back to their hilarious, hapless ways. Pedro is now a Buddhist. Willie Mays Hayes is an action star and wants to be a power hitter (not to mention having some botched plastic surgery that has left him looking like a totally different person). Wild Thing has a publicist GF that has him concerned about his bad boy image. Worst of all Jake Taylor is even older and being replaced by his nemesis Jack Parkman and a loveable dummy Rube. After the team is sold to former player Roger Dorn (ha!) they tell Jake he’s going to stay on as a coach. Things… they don’t go well. Parkman is almost immediately dugout poison and is traded for a Japanese player named Tanaka. Dorn, since it’s laughable he was able to buy a team in the first place, immediately has to sell it back to Rachel Phelps from the first movie. Again threatening to move the team (seriously?) the coach Lou has a heart attack and Jake has to take over. Things hit rock bottom with a big fight, which in turn sparks passion and a hot streak that takes them back to the postseason. Meanwhile Vaughn struggles with his uptight GF and a previously unmentioned ex-GF who liked his bad boy energy. In Game 7 of the ALCS, Vaughn is called out from the bullpen having regained his edge and smokes Parkman to win… presumably to lose in the World Series. THE END.

It’s amazing how many of the iconic Major League things I remember from my youth actually come from this, to be perfectly frank, much much worse sequel. So it has a lot of moments to remember, for sure. It just pales in comparison to the first film, which on rewatch is kind of perfect. It feels so authentic in its baseball team comedy kind of way. Rated R… is that for violence or nudity or anything? No. Not even the slightest. It’s simply because a bunch of ball players are talking like ball players. It’s kind of amazing. The second one just kind of sucks from the jump. Of course this is in part because they try to recapture the magic of the first film, but it feels like they ended up shrugging their shoulders. How do you take a team that just went to the ALCS and make it seem plausible they now suck again and might move? Any and every way possible. Doesn’t matter how hackneyed.They also made the movie PG! It’s insane. At one point Wild Thing (Wild Thing!) asks his ex-GF out to talk and they go on a pizza date. Are they 15? It’s a kids movie. It has no marbles.

Hot Take Clam Bake! While it may seem that I denigrated pizza right there by implying that I didn’t want a za date in my movie, that is wrong! I love pizza! In fact I’ll go a step further and say unequivocally that pizza… it’s good. I know, I know. Hot take. But it’s true. Bread. Tomato sauce, Cheese. A variety of toppings. Good. Tasty. I enjoy it. But also, wholesome. I enjoy eating za with my family on a Sunday night. If Rick Vaughn aka Wild Thing busted into my living room asking for some of that za I might be concerned. He’s a bad boy. He might punch me. He might eat all the za. He might, in fact, engage in a variety of not-very-PG behavior. Might be downright R-rated. You see where I’m going with this? Pizza: good. Pizza and Rick Vaughn aka Wild Thing: not good. Hot Take Temperature: A piping hot slice of za.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *gif of me walking out the door to BMTHQ while Wild Thing plays on blast and everyone cheers, I’m back baby!* Let’s go!

Here’s the thing … Major League is a very fun film, and an incredible cable film from the 90s. It played over 100 times on television and I’ve probably seen bits and pieces of the first a dozen times. It is fun and dumb and sure a bit racist but still fun. It just harkens back to a time when baseball was important you know?

The second one … well. Let’s start with the good. Berenger is fun. Uh, it is like one of those sequels which is just identical to the original. That was a very very 90s thing that is somewhat fun to revisit. That’s the good

The bad? Well, the film is somehow even more racist than the first! Specifically there is now a Japanese player which is hanging with Haysbert which is pretty startling to see in 2024. I actually wonder, is the character just a response to Japanese players entering the MLB? Or is it some knock-on effect of the general fear of the Japanese takeover that was still reverberating through Hollywood scripts or something? Who knows.

And then the entire thing is also inevitable, but with no tension since you know the eeeeeeeevil baseball player has to be defeated in the end.

Did I mention that Charlie Sheen’s character tries to go straight throughout the film much to his dirtbag fanbase’s chagrin. And he has an embarrassing apartment, a whole girlfriend character we’ve never met before, and a rehashed storyline whereby he wants to save his career by throwing changeups and shit.

The film is genuinely very bad … but in a pretty amusing way. Outside of the racism. That isn’t amusing.

In the end then yeah, I think this is a pretty entertainingly bad film. And it is nice that we are working through our baseball bad movies. Actually … I’m going to check that.

So yeah, I don’t really count the baseball keyword from IMDb (but like … I’m looking at you Hook). But even just looking at the wikipedia we have a few left. How Do You Know from 2010, in which someone gets cut from the Softball Olympic Team. The Scout, The Fan, Mr. Baseball, The Slugger’s Wife, Little Big League, Brewster’s Millions, Mr. Destiny, Taking Care of Business, Stealing Home, and The Final Season. Jesus, we have a lot of baseball films left.

There is an actual in-movie Product Placement (What?) for Right Guard that Charlie Sheen is in. Obviously, still a Setting as a Character (Where?) for the always hapless Cleveland, Ohio. And, sure a Worst Twist (How?) for the obvious result that the team unexpectedly makes the World Series in the end. This film is hilariously BMT IMO, just aggravatingly weird dumb.

Learn all about Celeveland and sports in the Quiz I assume. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Major League II Quiz

Sports right? I’m definitely going to learn about sports. Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Well, we’ll get to sports. First, in a fun reference there is a business in the film called Emilio’s [BLANK] Service, named after an Emilio Estevez and Harry Dean Stanton movie. What word fills in the blank?

2) Alex Cox directed Repo Man, and also the film Walker about William Walker, the famous … filibuster? Turns out that is a name given to people during the Manifest Destiny era of the United States who went into neighboring countries and established colonies in preparation for annexation. Walker was notably the president of what country for a brief time?

3) Wild Thing was listed as number 257 on Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All Time in 2004. Who performed the most famous rendition of this song?

4) The Cleveland Indians are now the Cleveland Guardians. What are they named after?

5) And further, the Cleveland Guardians were originally the Grand Rapids Rustlers. Between 1900 and 1914 the team was the Cleveland [BLANK], name any one of the four other names (not Indians or Guardians) the team took on during that period.

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: On March 4th, 1995, Major League II premiered primetime on HBO. At the same time, on channel 55, this film played:

What is that film?

Answers

Major League II Preview

Patrick scans the crowd of BMTverse denizens that surrounded him in The Waste, all ready to send him on whatever ludicrous adventure they had in mind. Stonewall Jackson? Nah. Pistachio Disguisey? Definitely not. The Punisher? He shakes his head. Suddenly, far in the back he finds what he’s looking for. “You!” Patrick yells, pointing at Freddie Prinze Jr. “Which one are you?” he asks seriously. “My name’s Ryan Dunne and I seem to have lost my stuff. If you could just…’ At this point Patrick cuts him off. “Great, perfect. You got your glove and a ball? Great, nice.” He moves people out of the way and stands approximately 60 feet from FPJ. “The best way to get back your stuff is to believe in yourself. It’s been inside you the whole time, etc. etc.” At that, Patrick bends over, still looking at FPJ. “Now show me what you got,” Patrick says, waggling his head at the ready for a fastball directly to his dome. FPJ shrugs his shoulders and despite some questionable mechanics delivers a strike that knocks Patrick on his ass.

Patrick awakens and as his vision clears he’s shocked to see the marquee of the wildlife theater come back into view. Cobra is now properly playing, but that’s not the shocking part. Below that are the words “Cobra 2: Crimedemic, World Premier!” He turns to Kyle and asks whether he’s still dreaming. Kyle shakes his head and pats him on the back. “You were glorious,” he assures Patrick without elaborating on how exactly he helped make this a reality. The owner of the theater rushes up to him and pumps his hand enthusiastically. “We made it. My little theater has finally made the major leagues thanks to you and, of course, your best friend Sly Stallone.” That’s right! We are going back to back again, Jack. Major League is one of the best sports comedies of all time. Major League II is not. Major League: Back to the Minors is… also not. Let’s go!

Major League II (1994) – BMeTric: 42.5; Notability: 51

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 12.8%; Notability: top 8.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.1%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, Street Fighter, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Junior, The Next Karate Kid, It’s Pat: The Movie, Double Dragon, On Deadly Ground, The Flintstones, North, The Fantastic Four, Leprechaun 2, 3 Ninjas Kick Back, Exit to Eden, In the Army Now, Color of Night, Car 54, Where Are You?, Richie Rich, Beverly Hills Cop III, Blank Check, and 12 more; Higher Notability: The Flintstones, Wyatt Earp, The Shadow, Beverly Hills Cop III, Ready to Wear, Love Affair, North, Radioland Murders, The Pagemaster, I Love Trouble, On Deadly Ground, Exit to Eden, Street Fighter, The Scout, Drop Zone, Blown Away, Speechless, Junior, D2: The Mighty Ducks, Baby’s Day Out, and 1 more; Lower RT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, It’s Pat: The Movie, Death Wish: The Face of Death, Wagons East, The Silence of the Hams, House Party 3, Car 54, Where Are You?, Holy Matrimony, Getting Even with Dad, A Low Down Dirty Shame; Notes: Major League II was shown 67 times in the 90s, that’s pretty crazy. Compare that to 52 to Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, 6 for Street Fighter, and 10 for Texas Chainsaw: The Next Generation. This is definitely a huuuuuuuuuge cable film around the time. You best belieb we’ve watched Silence of the Hams as well … on VHS. It is exclusive to VHS. Man, 1994 was a wild time.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Fans of “Major League” (1989) may want to see “Major League II.” I did not see the first film and am not in that category. Nor is there anything in “Major League II” that inspires me to go back and catch up on the earlier film. … There’s one bright spot: On the basis of this dismal attempt, the team will probably not be back next season.

(Ha! Wrong on that count. I can’t believe he didn’t see the first. It is a good film though, so I wonder if he ever did. There still isn’t a review of the original on the website.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGnW5gh4WZE/

(Hahaha, the voice over. The number of people they replaced is sunny. Honestly Epps is arguably better than Snipes. But making the dumb fans a bigger deal with Randy Quaid is one of the many mistakes this film makes.)

Directors – David S. Ward – ( Known For: Major League; The Program; Cannery Row; Future BMT: Down Periscope; King Ralph; BMT: Major League II; Notes: Man, should I read Cannery Row? Steinbeck. Tempting. All of his directorial efforts were huge 90s television hits.)

Writers – David S. Ward – ( Known For: The Sting; Sleepless in Seattle; Major League; The Program; The Milagro Beanfield War; Cannery Row; I’ll Find You; Steelyard Blues; Saving Grace; Future BMT: Flyboys; King Ralph; The Sting II; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: He won the Oscar for The Sting, and was nominated for Sleepless in Seattle. King Ralph, we are coming for you.)

R.J. Stewart – ( Known For: The Rundown; And God Created Woman; BMT: Major League II; Notes: And God Created Woman seems like a ridiculous film. “Robin marries Billy to get out of jail” … how does that follow?)

Tom S. Parker and Jim Jennewein – ( Known For: Stay Tuned; Future BMT: Richie Rich; Getting Even with Dad; BMT: The Flintstones; Major League II; Notes: Stay Tuned is a wild wild film. And wait, Jeffery Jones was in that and Mom and Dad Save the World? Two ridiculous ideas.)

Actors – Charlie Sheen – ( Known For: Platoon; Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; Being John Malkovich; Wall Street; Hot Shots!; Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; Hot Shots! Part Deux; Badlands; Major League; Young Guns; Red Dawn; The Arrival; Eight Men Out; The Chase; The Wraith; Lucas; Foodfight!; Beyond the Law; Good Advice; Cadence; Future BMT: Due Date; Scary Movie 3; Scary Movie 4; Machete Kills; The Three Musketeers; Loaded Weapon 1; Money Talks; The Rookie; Men at Work; The Big Bounce; Madea’s Witness Protection; All Dogs Go to Heaven 2; Shadow Conspiracy; BMT: Scary Movie V; Major League II; Navy Seals; Terminal Velocity; Notes: Nominated for four Emmys all for Two and a Half Men. Cadence. A real film starring Charlie and Martin Sheen that played on television 66 times in the 90s.)

Tom Berenger – ( Known For: Inception; Training Day; Platoon; Born on the Fourth of July; Faster; Major League; The Big Chill; Gettysburg; Eye See You; The Substitute; Shoot to Kill; The Sentinel; Brake; Someone to Watch Over Me; The Gingerbread Man; The Dogs of War; Bad Country; A Murder of Crows; Looking for Mr. Goodbar; Eddie and the Cruisers; Future BMT: Sniper; Shattered; Chasers; Betrayed; Rustlers’ Rhapsody; BMT: Sliver; Major League II; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Platoon. I just watched him in Fear City. His hair was incredible, but not enough Billy Dee Williams.)

Corbin Bernsen – ( Known For: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; Major League; The Big Year; King Kong; The Hating Game; Lay the Favorite; The Dentist; The Great White Hype; Tales from the Hood; S.O.B.; The Dentist 2; Suing the Devil; Clambake; Disorganized Crime; Dead Air; Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist; Sunrise in Heaven; Christian Mingle; Three the Hard Way; Roe v. Wade; Future BMT: Shattered; Radioland Murders; Hello Again; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for L.A. Law. He really was in some junk in the 90s. Like Aurora: Operation Intercept … what is that? Played 16 times on television, so it was a real film people could have watched.)

Budget/Gross – $25 million / Domestic: $30,626,182 (Worldwide: $30,626,182)

(That is terrible. Like … really terrible. The only odd thing is Major League only made $50 million. How did it become such a phenomenon. I would have definitely guessed it was one of those $100 million comedies of the 90s.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 5% (1/21): Striking out on every joke, Major League II is a lazy sequel that belongs on the bench.

(My god that is low. I’m not surprised. The film is genuinely quite racist and weird. It isn’t funny, and is just annoying. I guess I’m saying that the percentage makes sense.)

Reviewer Highlight: Baseball’s wild bunch from Cleveland take the field again. Plods ahead with cliches. Pleasantly predictable. – New York Times listings

Poster – Majorly Ugh 2

(I’m actually embarrassed for this poster. At least it’s got that beautiful, beautiful font and crazy baseball mascot. C)

Tagline(s) – The dream team is back! (F)

(Nooooooooooooo! The dream team is back?! Nooooooooooo! I seriously would have given it a D if they added a “Jack” to the end.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993), The Bone Collector (1999)

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 83.0 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.1 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.8 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.6 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.6 Jury Duty (1995), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Wild Wild West (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), Cool as Ice (1991), Wing Commander (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), On Deadly Ground (1994), Dudley Do-Right (1999), Double Team (1997), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), The Flintstones (1994), The Haunting (1999), Leprechaun (1993), Bats (1999), Fair Game (1995), Cool World (1992), North (1994), Body of Evidence (1993), Problem Child 2 (1991), …

Best Options (franchise): 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.2 3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994), 56.1 Son of the Pink Panther (1993), 52.3 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995), 52.3 Major League: Back to the Minors (1998), 50.4 3 Ninjas (1992), …

(This is a bonus. Back to the Minors is the actual choice and is pretty solid. 50+. We did consider Children of the Corn at one point.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dennis Haysbert is No. 4 billed in Major League II and No. 5 billed in Random Hearts, which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (4 + 5) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 16. If we were to watch In Too Deep we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Baker’s inability to throw the ball back to the pitcher was based on former New York Mets catcher Mackey Sasser. Sasser was very successful at throwing out runners attempting to steal second, but had a mental block causing him to flinch several times when trying to throw the ball back to the pitcher. Many baserunners took advantage of this affliction and stole bases while he was triple pumping his throw, and/or lollipopping the throw back.

While Camden Yards doubled as Cleveland Municipal Stadium, scenes depicting Indians road games were filmed mostly at nearby Baltimore Memorial Stadium.

The character Isuro Tanaka was something of an anomaly of that time. At the time of the film’s release, there were no Japanese players in the Major Leagues, and only one Japanese player had ever played (briefly) for a ML team. The influx of Japanese players in US Major League baseball didn’t begin until a few years after the film’s release.

Wesley Snipes wasn’t able to reprise his role of Willie Mays Hayes, and was replaced with Omar Epps

Kevin Hickey, who plays Indians pitcher Schoup, made his major debut in 1981 as a pitcher for the Chicago White Sox, the very team the fictional pitcher Schoup plays against in the film.

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas Recap

Jamie

There are a few films that will forever be linked in my mind with the beginning of BMT. Films that seem to come up every once in a while as an option but somehow never get picked. Always the BMTsmaid and never the BMT. The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas is one of those. It’s abundantly clear why that is. Viva Rock Vegas doesn’t feel like a BMT qualifying film. It feels like it should have been shuttled to video release. It has Stephen Baldwin as Barney. It is a prequel about Fred meeting Wilma. It sounds horrible. It’s also a kids movie so for large swaths of BMT history it would have essentially been barred (by what is basically the Dudley Do-Right Rule). Anyway, we’ve slowly been working through these classic BMT forever films. The Loft was one of them (what a joy). So was The Darkest Hour (the other one). One that still remains is Push from 2009… a movie no one remembered and yet I can never forget.

To recap, Fred and Barney are young. Betty and Wilma are young, too. Fun! Wilma is tired of her controlling rich mom and runs away to bedrock where she befriends Betty. Soon they are serving up food to the young, hungry bachelors Fred and Barney. Barney is into Wilma and Fred is into Betty (wha-wha-wha?) but after a date at the amusement park things are sorted how we expect (phew). After meeting Wilma’s disapproving mother and the man she wishes Wilma would marry, Chip, Fred chickens out of proposing. But Wilma’s dad is just happy Wilma is happy and gives her an expensive pearl necklace. Chip apologizes for being rude and invites them out to his casino in Rock Vegas. Fred sees it as an opportunity to gamble his way to a fortune Wilma could be proud of. Chip sees it as a way to get Fred to lose a bunch of money so he can get Wilma back and pay off the mob with her fortune. The plan works pretty much perfectly. The only thing Chip didn’t plan on was The Great Gazoo. Did I not mention him? He’s a green alien that follows Fred and Barney around and helps them (sort of). After Fred and Barney are framed for stealing the necklace from Wilma (and lose their gals in the process) Gazoo lets them in on Chip’s scheme. They escape and ultimately profess their love for their gals and Wilma is like “get out of here Chip,” and smooches Fred… hard. THE END.

Somehow Fred is the weak link of a film that features Stephen Baldwin. In fact I found almost all the casting to be totally confounding, which again speaks to the straight-to-video nature of this film. The only people coming out OK are Krakowski and somehow Alan Cumming as Gazoo and that’s only because that entire storyline appears to have time travelled from the future of Adult Swim and directly into this film. It’s so insane that I respect whoever had the keys to the car on this guy being like “fuck it, keep on doing whatever that is.” All that being said, I found this movie to be more weird than necessarily bad. It ended up being a B version of the first film rather than the Z version I was expecting. But boy, everyone seems to make the craziest plot choices when confronted with the tall order of making a live action Flintstones film.

Hot Take Clam Bake! Where’s Gazoo go? It’s the question that’s on everyone’s mind after watching the two Flintstones films back-to-back. Here he is helping foil the dastardly plot. Where was he later on when Fred was dealing with Cliff? You might be thinking “he’s an alien, he probably went home.” You’d be wrong. He ain’t no alien. Gazoo is a friend, first and foremost. That’s why I suspect foul play. So who killed Gazoo? I suspect Fred. Then again he’s always getting framed for crimes like this so it’s perhaps a Chip or Cliff type character we have yet to meet. Crag… is Crag a character from the show? Probably. Hot Take Temperature: Mick Jagged

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! *gif of me sliding down a dinosaur’s back, slipping off, and slamming face first directly into a huge pile of dinosaur shit* Let’s go!

Oh boy … I mean, the good, I think both of the lead women are quite good, especially Jane Krakowski who is like … it is a little overboard how attractive she is as Betty, but that isn’t here nor there (I insist, it is neither here nor there!). Stephen Baldwin is kind of okay as well, although it is very distracting to see Stephen Baldwin in a movie like this.

The bad is literally everything else. It all looks much worse, Fred is much worse, the story is all over the place, Gazoo is an insane addition to the storyline, and Rock Vegas is a shockingly small piece to the entire film. It is worse in every way, and in most cases it is much much worse.

The movie I think is just on the wrong side of sad and bad to be BMT. It is a lunatic film, that’s for sure. Gazoo is basically tacked onto a not-Flintstones story. But it is just too boring to work. Nothing super memorable about it in the end.

A long time ago I thought to myself: I wonder if I can figure out the colors featured on a poster in a consistent way. The answer was, in many ways, no. I am a little too perfectionist to allow some of the odd edge cases to survive in what would have been a huge uneditable blob of data. With AI though … well, with AI it is pretty difficult to generate a huge blob of data without spending a ton. But at least I can blame the AI when it gets shit wrong. I asked for the top three colors, the primary color, and two featured colors on the IMDb poster. The response was:

Primary Color: #23277C (Dark blue)

Featured Color: #EF4138 (Red)

Featured Color: #F58903 (Orange)

Kind of nails it. The blue is the sky, which is basically the background. The red is the car. And the orange is Dunes, Sands, the other hotel, and Fred’s shirt roughly. In a way the analysis is just like: this poster is ugly. Now, would I agree that this is a “blue” poster? No. I don’t think so. Unfortunately the AI mostly defaults to a majority rule and can’t emulate “Patrick’s Brain” level of intellect in determining that this poster is, in fact, multi-colored. Too bad.

I’m making up a Completely Ridiculous Side Character (Who?) for the Great Gazoo who is mainly in this movie for no reason whatsoever. Again a great Promotional Tie-In (What?) for a direct Burger King toy tie-in complete with Bronto King burger joint features in the movie. This is an A+ Fictional Setting as a Character (Where?) for Rock Vegas. This movie is genuinely bad and quite sad because both of the main actors just pale in comparison to the 1994 original, which is too bad.

Read all about long awaited sequels (maybe?) in the quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas Quiz

Well, I did kind of ask about a dinosaur in the last quiz. What are the chances I’ll ask about Las Vegas this time? Let’s go!

Pop Quiz Hot Shot

1) The Song Viva Las Vegas was originally sung by Elvis, but is what his co-star in the film that sung the song on the soundtrack. Who was that actress?

2) Jane Krakowski is one of those people who seem like they are in a ton of random stuff. National Lampoon’s Vacation for example. She introduced a question about Viva Rock Vegas on an episode of Jeopardy! On that she was introduced as Jane Krakowski from BLANK. What television show fills in the blank?

3) Kristen Johnston plays Wilma in the movie. She won two Primetime Emmys for what television series?

4) We’ve almost completed the 2000 Razzie Worst Razzie slate. Battlefield Earth, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, and Little Nicky are three of the four other nominees. The fourth is a romantic comedy called The Next Best Thing starring which singer who is not unfamiliar with Worst Actress nominations?

5) We are now half way through Las Vegas films. The biggest outstanding one stars Elizabeth Berkley. What is that film?

Bonus NYTimes Listing Question: Viva Rock Vegas couldn’t have played on television, but Viva Las Vegas could. It played at 10PM on August 13, 1992. You could have watched this BMT Friend earlier that night:

What is this film?

Answers

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas Preview

“Sorry, I didn’t mean indecent. I meant impossible,” the theater owner says, correcting himself. “It’s just that I can’t possibly afford a showing of Cobra at my theater.” Patrick thinks for a moment, contemplating how long it might take to boost the profile of this small theater using the Bad Movie Twins bodacious brand. He looks back through the window of the restaurant where Jamie and Samantha are eating and observes that the make out session has progressed from ‘proper necking’ to ‘hot and heavy.’ He slams his fist into the table. “There just isn’t time,” he rasps through gritted teeth. “Maybe if you ask Sylvester Stallone nicely he’ll do you a solid,” Kyle suggests. Patrick scoffs. Sure he was a social acquaintance of Sly, but one didn’t just ask Sly politely for anything. “Or maybe a friend of a friend,” he adds. Patrick is about to double scoff directly in Kyle’s face, but suddenly has a thought. Unless it was one of the many very realistic daydreams he and Jamie have had recently, he’s pretty sure Kevin James was now one of their best friends. He checks his phone and he finds that KJ is indeed in his contacts (and not headless as a result of a well placed Twin Kick). Hooray! He speed dials the number and gets the man himself on the horn. After briefly confirming that they never kicked him in the head, he asks after Sly. KJ laughs, “That old dog? Did you know that he didn’t even have to show up to the set of Zookeeper but he insisted on wearing the Lion costume every day.” Patrick laughs. Classic Sly. “We’re actually doing a new film together. Why don’t you swing by the set sometime? You can check out Bedrock for yourself.” That’s right! We are finally doing it. The double dose of Flintstones action that is The Flintstones and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. There isn’t much more to say (other than yabba-dabba-do, I guess). Let’s go!  

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000) – BMeTric: 82.0; Notability: 96

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.2%; Higher BMeT: Battlefield Earth, Dungeons & Dragons, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2; Lower RT: Fortress 2: Re-Entry, 3 Strikes, My 5 Wives, The in Crowd, Battlefield Earth, Down to You, Bless the Child, Lost Souls, Heavy Metal 2000, Dungeons & Dragons, Circus, The Skulls, I Dreamed of Africa, Ed Gein, Screwed, Urban Legends: Final Cut, The Watcher, Supernova, Boys and Girls, The Ladies Man, and 37 more; Notes: For BMeTric it is 8/10 watched and 14/20 which is quite good I think. The 10-20 films are weird though. Loser, Hanging Up, Lost Souls, The Next Best Thing? I literally cannot believe that Notability either … for The Flintstones sequel!

RogerEbert.com – 0.5 Stars –   “The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas” has dinosaurs that lumber along crushing everything in their path. The movie’s screenplay works sort of the same way. Think of every possible pun involving stones, rocks and prehistoric times, and link them to a pea-brained story that creaks and groans on its laborious march through unspeakably obvious, labored and idiotic humor.

(Really close to the very rare 0 star film from Roger Ebert (which is a straight thumbs down). And yeah, compared to the first this one is ultra dumb and the first was effectively Shakespeare.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu3zeVVu3ME/

(Oh wow, and then this one looks like absolute garbage. Fred and Barney are just the worse immediately. Only Betty is any good. Oh man, Gazoo looks horrifying.)

Directors – Brian Levant – ( Known For: Max 2: White House Hero; Future BMT: Beethoven; The Spy Next Door; Snow Dogs; BMT: Jingle All the Way; The Flintstones; Are We There Yet?; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Problem Child 2; Notes: I’m a little bowled over they got the same director back. Snow Dogs … that will be an 00s crown jewel once we get around to it.)

Writers – William Hanna and Joseph Barbera – ( Known For: The Man Called Flintstone; Hey There, It’s Yogi Bear; Tom and Jerry: Cowboy Up!; Tom and Jerry: Snowman’s Land; Future BMT: Tom and Jerry: The Movie; BMT: Tom & Jerry; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: They made all of the cartoons obviously back in the day. Amazingly, only one of their films played on television in the 90s at all since they didn’t get a credit on the first film. It was Tom & Jerry: The Movie which played exactly once, in 1996. I’m not sure I totally buy it, it maybe was just called Tom & Jerry places, but still a fun fact.)

Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont – ( Known For: Can’t Hardly Wait; Josie and the Pussycats; A Very Brady Sequel; Future BMT: Leap Year; Surviving Christmas; BMT: Made of Honor; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: Oooo Can’t Hardly Wait. Honestly … not a super great movie, but only because there is a huge bit in the middle where he leaves the party and it really deflates things. Watched it on Criterion. Wild stuff.)

Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr. – ( Known For: Top Gun: Maverick; Top Gun; Turner & Hooch; Dick Tracy; The Secret of My Success; Legal Eagles; BMT: Anaconda; Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: All of their 80s/90s films played a ton on tv. Cash died in 2000 and Epps seemed to maybe retire afterwards. Their Anacondas 2 credit is for characters only.)

Actors – Mark Addy – ( Known For: Robin Hood; A Knight’s Tale; The Full Monty; Mary Poppins Returns; Downton Abbey; Barney’s Version; The Lost King; It’s a Wonderful Afterlife; Heartlands; Lies We Tell; The Runaways; Future BMT: The Time Machine; Jack Frost; Down to Earth; The Order; BMT: Around the World in 80 Days; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: Remember when The Full Monty was just absolutely the hugest thing in the world … I guess it is again since they are doing some weird American TV special for whatever reason.)

Stephen Baldwin – ( Known For: The Usual Suspects; Born on the Fourth of July; Casualties of War; The Beast of War; Last Exit to Brooklyn; A Simple Twist of Fate; Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle; Sky Kids; The Sex Monster; Homeboy; Xchange; Mercy; Magi; Shark in Venice; Fall Time; The Genius Club; I’m in Love with a Church Girl; Back to the Jurassic; Friends & Lovers; Six: The Mark Unleashed; Future BMT: Half Baked; Fred Claus; Threesome; Fled; 8 Seconds; Posse; BMT: Bio-Dome; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: Alec apparently told him that going Bio-Dome would ruin his career. It really did. Went from Usual Suspects to Bio-Dome to … well, this I suppose.)

Kristen Johnston – ( Known For: Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me; Austin Powers in Goldmember; Music and Lyrics; Swiped; Vamps; Strangers with Candy; Life Happens; The Wedding Year; Lovesick; Finding Bliss; Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate; For the Love of George; Bad Parents; Small Town Wisconsin; Colin Fitz Lives!; Thrill Ride; BMT: Bride Wars; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: Obviously huge on 3rd Rock From the Sun. She was Ivana Humpalot in the Austin Powers films. I didn’t recognize her with black hair, I was wracking my brain trying to figure out who she played.)

Budget/Gross – $83,000,000 / Domestic: $35,268,275 (Worldwide: $59,468,275)

(Oooooof. The budget was kind of unavoidable. You have to make giant sets and costumes and pay for the rights and everything. And then this just tanked. And they have never thought of a live-action version again. You think they’ll ever do The Jetsons.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (18/72): The prequel to the first full-length feature set in Bedrock, Viva Rock Vegas is a surprising improvement over The Flintstones. Aimed towards an audience of adults and children alike, critics feel Viva will appeal to a broad range of viewers.

(WHAT. A surprising improvement? AND IMPROVEMENT?! Ludicrous. You having a laugh?)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s not delightful or funny or exciting, and for long stretches, it looks exactly like hapless actors standing in front of big rocks and reciting sitcom dialogue. – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – The Flintsklogs in Viva Sklog Vegas

(Remember when I said I was a sucker for a drawn poster? This isn’t exactly what I meant. Still. It could be way worse than this if they had went for photos of the actors and the font is still good. The car, though… it’s tough. C+)

Tagline(s) – Get ready to rock! (D+)

(No. To generic. Too lame. Not into it.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993), The Bone Collector (1999)

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.4 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.3 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 67.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.1 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.0 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.7 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.5 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.1 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.4 The Mangler (1995), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 59.7 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.5 Jury Duty (1995), 58.1 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.9 Holy Man (1998)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Wild Wild West (1999), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Cool as Ice (1991), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), Wing Commander (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), On Deadly Ground (1994), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Dudley Do-Right (1999), Double Team (1997), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Ed (1996), The Flintstones (1994), The Haunting (1999), Leprechaun (1993), Bats (1999), Fair Game (1995), Cool World (1992), Body of Evidence (1993), Problem Child 2 (1991), Chairman of the Board (1997), The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999), The Mod Squad (1999), Lost in Space (1998), Sliver (1993), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), …

Best Options (Gothika): 67.1 The Flintstones (1994), 55.0 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 46.8 B*A*P*S (1997), 41.9 Black & White (1999), 41.0 Feeling Minnesota (1996), 39.9 In Dreams (1999), 37.0 Girl 6 (1996), 35.2 The Fan (1996), 34.7 Father Hood (1993), 30.3 The Distinguished Gentleman (1992), 28.5 The Rich Man’s Wife (1996), 26.7 The Pagemaster (1994), 26.4 Race the Sun (1996), 24.9 A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994), 22.9 Nick of Time (1995), 21.9 Screamers (1995), 20.2 Strictly Business (1991), 16.6 U.S. Marshals (1998), 14.7 The Bone Collector (1999)

(We watched this as a BONUS because we were going through Halle Berry. I’ve actually already seen the Bone Collector. It is incredibly silly … and I kind of want to read the books. I’m sure they are equally ludicrous.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Alan Cumming is No. 7 billed in The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas and No. 4 billed in Get Carter, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 4 (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (7 + 4) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 20. If we were to watch The Sin Eater, and 40 Days and 40 Nights we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Although he died eleven years prior to this movie’s release, Mel Blanc received credit for the voice of Baby Dino. The voice was re-used from The Flintstones (1960).

Harvey Korman (Colonel Slaghoople) was the original voice of The Great Gazoo on The Flintstones (1960).

The creators of the original animated series, William Hanna and Joseph Barbera, can be seen briefly during the wedding scene at the end of this movie. There’s one quick shot of the two of them together singing along to the Flintstones theme song.

The producers opted for the prequel approach in this second movie mainly due to John Goodman’s refusal to reprise his role as Fred Flintstone.

On the shelf in Betty O’Shale’s (Jane Krakowski’s) kitchen is a box of Post Fruity Pebbles, a real-life breakfast cereal derived from the original animated series.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Stephen Baldwin)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Joan Collins)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel

Saw II Recap

Jamie

This is it. Peak Franchise Man. This is the film(s) that sparked the idea for this year-long cycle. We were like “we should start a bunch of franchises we never got around to.” We may as well have said, “let’s watch Saw II & III.” Saw is more or less the platonic ideal of a franchise for Franchise Man. It starts off with a bang. A film that busts through to the mainstream. Gets everyone clamoring for more Saw. So what do you do? Blair Witch looked at that and said, “What if we did Blair Witch but the exact opposite and everyone will hate it?” Saw looked at that and said, “What if we explode heads and rip people’s fingers off and also create a lore so deep that you could swim in it forever and never reach the bottom of the lore?” Guess which one Franchise Man is the most interested in? Saw! Let’s go!

To recap, Jigsaw just keeps on playing games. When the latest victim leads to a message addressed directly to Jigsaw expert Detective Matthews, he is quickly able to track down Jigsaw at an abandoned warehouse. He’s in for a TWISTED awakening, though, when Jigsaw reveals that Matthew’s son Daniel and a bunch of other people have all been trapped in a house slowly filling up with a deadly nerve agent. The game is afoot! A couple of the people are killed in elaborate traps (surprise, surprise) they also reveal some subtle connections to each other in that they all were arrested. Unbeknownst to them, though, they were actually all framed by Detective Matthews. Additionally, one of the people is Amanda, the only known survivor of Jigsaw (mmmmm, lore). They soon start going insane or dying in elaborate traps. One of them, Xavier, figures out that they all have numbers on the back of their necks that will together be a combination to an antidote, but before he can read all the numbers, Daniel kills him. Seeing all this going on through security cameras, Detective Matthews subdues Jigsaw and forces him to take him to the house. Meanwhile the police also are able to trace the video feed and realize that the house where everything happened is long abandoned and the whole game was a recording. At that point a pig masked figure jumps out and traps Detective Matthews. What a trap! Turns out it’s Amanda and she’s now Jigsaw’s apprentice (arrrrggghhhhhhhh, I’m quickening with the lore!). Back at the warehouse a timer goes off and a box opens, revealing Daniel there safe and sound. THE END.

The entire time I watched this movie I was like “This is so dumb. This is so bad. This is dumb and bad.” Somehow with a little distance I have a strange fondness for the silliness that is Saw. Some major horror franchises know what they are and hammer it over and over to the delight of fans and the hatred of critics. Friday the 13th is the classic. Paranormal activity is a recent example. Saw certainly does that. But beyond a meta appreciation for franchises as Franchise Man, I think it’s hard to argue the fact that these movies are silly, unnecessarily gorey, morally problematic nonsense. The acting is truly dire, to boot. These are films to appreciate, but not actually enjoy or like. I do not enjoy or like them, but I will gladly watch them because I’m Franchise Man.

Hot Take Clam Bake! Uh, Jigsaw is dead the whole time… no, that isn’t going to work. How about this? The police are helping Jigsaw. Not actively, just kind of letting him slide. Think about it, literally everyone he kills this time are people that Donnie Wahlberg framed to get them off the streetz. They are the riff raff that the police want gone from the streets of [insert city name that is definitely not Toronto]. Maybe he’s not such a genius after all. Maybe he’s a big ol’ dumbo and the police are like “oh boy, really got us again, Jigsaw. You’re so smart with all your plans and shit that we can’t figure out. Hope you don’t kill another person we totally care about.” Hot Take Temperature: A furnace that explodes if you don’t pull your eyelids off in the next seven seconds.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Who’s sawing the sawers? Wait … that’s not the phrase it is? It’s Saw II, Let’s go!

Ah the Saw franchise. As a host of my favorite podcast suggested, the people who try and catch up on the Saw franchise are really just trying to make their lives worse. He ain’t wrong!

Out of all the horror genres out there, the one I like the least is what is often referred to as Torture Porn. This falls into that definitively. But here’s the thing. I had only ever actually watched the original Saw. Otherwise the only other Torture Porn film I’ve seen in Hostel. So I don’t know … maybe Saw didn’t become true Torture Porn until later?

Nope. Well … it wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I do think you’d throw this into the Hostel bucket. I think I just have fully desensitized myself to most horror at this point. I imagine if I watched something truly brutal I would still get physically ill, but regardless, I managed to watch Saw II with little to no difficulty.

Ah, but the movie? Perhaps I thought it was actually kind of good like the original?

Nope, the acting is terrible, the plot is dumb, the traps are stupid, Jigsaw makes no sense, all the cops are stupid, this movie is dumb. The End.

But to be more exact with it, the issue with Saw to some extent is that the traps are often just really stupid. The survivor woman from the first had the easiest task of anyone. She had to kill another person and retrieve a key, that’s it. Most people have stupid traps like … pull out all your toenails, or walk through a football field of syringes or something. Like … borderline it is like, but that would maim me? My feet will never be the same. My desire to live while maimed isn’t the same as my desire to live. They touch on this a bit in the third film. Regardless, often, the traps only really work because people waffle too much or the trap itself is dumb. That, honestly, is the worst part of the franchise. I’m a puzzle guy and the idea that the puzzles often feel either too easy or too hard is frustrating.

In this case, the trap house is a little fun, even if Donnie Wahlberg Jr. isn’t really doing it for me as the ultimate twist. I do like how the film ends in the same place as the first, and the twist itself is actually not terrible. But still, the film sets up the franchise and hooooo doggy, it isn’t super impressive.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t think this film deserves any superlatives, not even for the twist. The twist is kind of good, and the rest don’t match up. You get nothing Saw II! This is closest to BMT I think, the film is genuinely poorly made and stupid and a good example of a bad example of Torture Porn.

So what are you going to learn from Saw II? Find out in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Saw II Preview

In the following weeks, Patrick and Kyle hatch a plan to catch whoever it was that was watching them. Perhaps this mysterious person had some insight into their predicament. They would have included Jamie in the plans, but without any jorts to wear he sat around in his deafness, covered in mud and wearing only a shirt. “He could at least wear a shirt that wasn’t skin-tight,” grumbled Kyle. They hear Jamie whine from the other room, “are you talking about me? Are you talking about my tight shirt? It’s the only one I have where the v-neck is deep enough. You can’t expect me to be deaf and unfashionable.” They move further away from Jamie’s lair to continue hatching the plan. “Remember how we caught Santa Claus?” Patrick asks, but Kyle gives him a blank look. “Oh right, that was with Jamie. Shit.” This is going terribly. Suddenly the hairs on Patrick’s neck stand up again and he shushes Kyle. “Do you feel that?” He asks and Kyle nods his head vigorously. The feeling was right behind them… as if whoever it was was actually watching Jamie and not them at all. They sneak around the side of the house and look through the window. Kyle quickly turns away and tries to stop Patrick. His eyes are wide at what he just saw. “Don’t. Please,” he begs, “it’s horrible. You won’t be able to shake what you have seen.” But this only intrigues Patrick. Sure he liked seeing romantic things or funny things, but there was something almost irresistible about seeing something horrific on occasion. He pushes Kyle out of the way and takes a gander through the window. “My god,” he whispers, his face frozen in a mask of terror at what he saw too. That’s right! We are watching Saw II (and Saw III). This entire venture has been to try to get some franchises going that have somehow escaped our prying eyes. No more! Let’s go!

Saw II (2005) – BMeTric: 17.0; Notability: 37

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 30.8%; Notability: top 23.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 33.2%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, The Fog, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, A Sound of Thunder, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Are We There Yet?, In the Mix, The Dukes of Hazzard, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, The Honeymooners, Dirty Love, Cursed, Stealth, and 57 more; Higher Notability: Kingdom of Heaven, Fantastic Four, Be Cool, Domino, Fun with Dick and Jane, Bewitched, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, Son of the Mask, The Great Raid, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth, Cursed, Flightplan, The Dukes of Hazzard, Æon Flux, The Ring Two, The Legend of Zorro, and 38 more; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Yours, Mine & Ours, Son of the Mask, Underclassman, A Sound of Thunder, The Perfect Man, Dirty Love, White Noise, Dirty Deeds, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, Man of the House, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Æon Flux, Elektra, Edison, Are We There Yet?, The Wedding Date, and 62 more; Notes: Horror films are strange beasts. On the one hand fans are usually the harshest critics and so a lot of them have gaudy BMeT numbers. But then fans of specific series end up loving them all. We’ve seen 12/20 of the top BMeT for the year, which is fun.

New York Times –  Last year’s mercilessly unpleasant “Saw” was an unexpected Halloween treat for horror fans fed up with the genre’s recent shift toward tongue-in-cheek. “Saw II,” directed by a newcomer, Darren Lynn Bousman, delivers similar hard-core, practically humorless frights and hair-raising tension, but only after getting past a shaky beginning that plays more like a forensics-themed television show than a scary movie. … By the time the final twists start exposing themselves and the title tool makes a welcome cameo appearance, it’s fully apparent that this sequel is more trick than treat and doesn’t really compare to its fine predecessor – though it still manages to be eye-opening (and sometimes positively nauseating) in itself. – Laura Kern

(Yeah, the film seems like a CSI knock-off version of Saw. Saw is a weird film (in that the acting is well and truly dire) but is somewhat intriguing in stripping down horror to its basest pieces. Saw II takes all the bad bits and amplifies it, straining credulity in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y979drB7EEI/

(ARRRRGH ARGH ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH. Classic Saw. These films are so bad and annoying haha. And this trailer makes this one look even worse than I would have imagined.)

Directors – Darren Lynn Bousman – ( Known For: Repo! The Genetic Opera; Mother’s Day; Tales of Halloween; 11-11-11; Death of Me; St. Agatha; The Barrens; Abattoir; The Cello; Alleluia! The Devil’s Carnival; Future BMT: Saw IV; Spiral; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: Can you guess what The Cello is about? Dang, yeah, it’s about a haunted cello, how did you know? The only other thing I’m going to say about this guy is that he needs a new haircut or imdb picture stat!)

Writers – Leigh Whannell – ( Known For: Saw; Insidious; The Invisible Man; Upgrade; Insidious: Chapter 3; Saw X; Cooties; The Mule; Future BMT: Insidious: Chapter 2; Saw IV; Saw V; Saw VI; Saw 3D; Dead Silence; Jigsaw; Insidious: The Last Key; Spiral; Insidious: The Red Door; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: He’s in the original film and maybe it is because it is low budget, or maybe because he’s Australian, but he is dire in it. Amazing he also wrote Insidious.)

Darren Lynn Bousman – ( Known For: Tales of Halloween; 11-11-11; The Barrens; BMT: Saw II; Notes: Kind of strange he got a credit, it was basically his first feature credit, and he walked into an already established franchise.)

Actors – Donnie Wahlberg – ( Known For: The Sixth Sense; Ransom; What Doesn’t Kill You; Bullet; Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing & Charm School; 1 1/2 Ritter – Auf der Suche nach der hinreißenden Herzelinde; Body Count; Diamond Men; Tooken; Triggermen; Southie; Black Circle Boys; Bullfighter; Butter; Future BMT: Saw IV; Dead Silence; Annapolis; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Dreamcatcher; Righteous Kill; Zookeeper; Notes: You know Donnie … of New Kids on the Block? … Mark’s older brother? … Blue Bloods star? There it is, yeah, he’s famous for being in Blue Bloods. And this I guess. And five seconds of The Sixth Sense.)

Beverley Mitchell – ( Known For: Extreme Movie; Snowmen; Dance Baby Dance; Future BMT: The Crow: City of Angels; BMT: Saw II; Notes: You might ask yourself, was she on nearly 250 episodes of 7th Heaven? Yes she was. And you best believe I’m watching Candy Cane Christmas someday, looks amazing.)

Franky G – ( Known For: The Italian Job; Dead Man Down; Confidence; Wonderland; The Devil’s Tomb; The Birthday Cake; Manito; 36 Saints; Future BMT: Saw 3D; BMT: Saw II; Saw III; Notes: Probably most famous for the tv show Power. Actual name: Frank Gonzalez.)

Budget/Gross – $4,000,000 / Domestic: $87,039,965 (Worldwide: $147,748,505)

(This is why you make horror films. This film is genuinely terrible and it made a 30x return or whatever. Printing money.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 37% (46/124): Saw II is likely to please the gore-happy fans of the original, though it may be too gruesome for those not familiar with first film’s premise.

(Who is going into Saw II being like “I wonder what this is about?” I don’t think any of the early Saw films satisfy the people actually looking for crazy stuff. Mostly, people are in situations where if they used their brains for five seconds they would get out of it. The needle bit in this one is maybe the worst of it though, so there is something there.)

Reviewer Highlight: Saw II has teeth, and this house-of-horrors franchise has legs, though they’re manacled to the radiator. – Kyle Smith, New York Post

Poster – Death Spa 2: Skin Peel

(God, if there were ever a set of posters that perfectly explained how much the Saw films are not my kind of films, these are the ones. Just like “you want to see people break their fingernails trying to get out of impossible traps?” and it’s like not really. It’s just so bland too. C+.)

Tagline(s) – Oh, yes. There will be blood. (B-)

(My word. I also had to look up and see which came first, this tagline or the film. This tagline predating There Will Be Blood. It appears to be a biblical quote, but really much funnier to think that PTA saw the poster for Saw II and was like “That would be a good title.” So I’ll be kind to it.)

Keyword(s) – 1999-2007

Top 10: The Matrix Revolutions (2003), The Butterfly Effect (2004), The Da Vinci Code (2006), The Fast and the Furious (2001), Men in Black II (2002), Man on Fire (2004), Click (2006), Pearl Harbor (2001), Fantastic Four (2005), Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Future BMT: 93.5 Date Movie (2006), 90.0 House of the Dead (2003), 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 87.1 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 81.8 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.3 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.6 Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), 72.4 Bewitched (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 72.1 Zoom (2006), 71.1 Soul Plane (2004), 70.6 The Shaggy Dog (2006), 70.3 Delta Farce (2007), 69.3 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Battlefield Earth (2000), Catwoman (2004), Son of the Mask (2005), The Room (2003), Gigli (2003), Alone in the Dark (2005), The Wicker Man (2006), Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), The Fog (2005), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), Rollerball (2002), Baby Geniuses (1999), Norbit (2007), The Master of Disguise (2002), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Glitter (2001), Ultraviolet (2006), Bratz (2007), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), Feardotcom (2002), The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), Jason X (2001), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Torque (2004), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002), Material Girls (2006), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Little Man (2006), Basic Instinct 2 (2006), Elektra (2005), Taxi (2004), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Driven (2001), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), …

Best Options (franchise): 88.9 BloodRayne (2005), 81.8 The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000), 81.4 You Got Served (2004), 79.3 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 79.1 Boogeyman (2005), 72.2 Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003), 69.2 The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006), 69.1 Black Christmas (2006), 67.5 Seed of Chucky (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.8 The Grudge 2 (2006), 64.3 Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj (2006), 61.0 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.3 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 59.7 Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004), 58.8 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 58.2 Scooby-Doo (2002), 55.0 Honey (2003), 51.5 Scary Movie 3 (2003), 49.4 The Omen (2006), 49.0 Thomas and the Magic Railroad (2000), 46.4 Daddy Day Care (2003), 44.7 The Hitcher (2007), 42.8 Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003), 41.0 Blade: Trinity (2004), 39.6 The Art of War (2000), 39.6 Beauty Shop (2005), 37.3 Saw IV (2007), 37.2 Just Visiting (2001), 37.0 The Amityville Horror (2005), 36.6 A Cinderella Story (2004), 36.4 Friday After Next (2002), 33.3 Rugrats Go Wild (2003), 33.3 House of 1000 Corpses (2003), 32.4 Pokémon 3 the Movie: Spell of the Unown (2000), 31.3 Arthur and the Invisibles (2006), 30.8 Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004), 30.3 Hannibal Rising (2007), 28.5 Next Friday (2000), 27.7 Saw III (2006), 27.7 Resident Evil: Extinction (2007), 27.6 Rush Hour 3 (2007), 26.6 TMNT (2007), 26.4 Pokémon the Movie 2000 (1999), 24.8 Meet the Fockers (2004), 24.6 Johnny English (2003), 22.7 Digimon: The Movie (2000), 21.8 The Punisher (2004), 21.6 Van Wilder (2002), 21.3 Star Trek: Nemesis (2002), 19.1 Step Up (2006), 17.0 The Da Vinci Code (2006), 17.0 Resident Evil (2002), 17.0 Saw II (2005), 17.0 Bad Boys II (2003), 16.9 The Chronicles of Riddick (2004), 14.8 The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 14.8 Final Destination (2000), 14.7 Underworld: Evolution (2006), 12.7 Hannibal (2001), 9.3 Underworld (2003), 3.1 The Butterfly Effect (2004)

(Pretty low. So, why did we do it? Well we wanted a horror franchise and this one has a ton of movies, so it was nice to knock off two now while the getting was good.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Donnie Wahlberg is No. 2 billed in Saw II and No. 6 billed in Righteous Kill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 6) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 15. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – To conceal the ending, most of the actors were not given the last 25 pages of the script. Only the principal actors involved in the sequence knew.

It took four days for four people to replace all of the syringe tips with fiber tips for the “Needle Pit” trap.

The bathroom, which was the main set for Saw (2004), had to be recreated for this film.

Five alternate endings were shot.

Shawnee Smith was pregnant during filming, but kept it a secret from everyone, including the director, Darren Lynn Bousman. Her daughter gave the secret away one day during lunch, but only to Darren Lynn Bousman.

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Recap

Jamie

When Harry me Lloyd? Don’t you mean “When Jamie and Patrick Met Bad Movies”? Now Patrick is going to spin you a yarn later about us watching this movie in theaters because we were making the big bucks at our summer jobs and no longer understood the value of time and money. Time and money were for suckers and suckers didn’t watch Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd. This is a nice tale. Unfortunately it’s WRONG. Hulk and Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd were indeed two theatrical films we watched in 2003, but not because we were making the big bucks. Check out the dates when those films came out: June 13th and June 17th. We were making the big bucks while school was in session? I think not. As my memory serves (correctly), these were the two movies we used our free passes to the local cinema purchased from our high school tennis team fundraiser. So yeah we weren’t considering time and money because it was free and we had the whole beautiful summer in front of us. 

To recap, Lloyd, the oft-held back son of the school janitor, and Harry, the long home schooled new kid, are on a crash course… literally. Not only do we get the origin story of when Harry met Lloyd on that first day of school, but also the origin story for Lloyd’s chipped tooth. Awesome. Anyway, our two heroes are immediately wrapped up in a scheme by the criminal school principal and his lover, the lunch lady, who aim to start a special ed class to embezzle money from. Harry and Lloyd are tasked with getting the class filled and, due to the odd mixture of students they snag, plucky girl reporter Jessica starts on the scent. What else happens? Uh… some racist caricaturing. There is a treasure hunt Harry’s mom made up that they are trying to find. They go to a museum. Harry mistakenly smears chocolate all over a bathroom and Bob Sagat thinks his bathroom is covered in poop. Just a bunch of classy gags for a very classy film. Ultimately both the reporter and the class discover the plot after Lloyd snags the treasure chest full of evidence the principal keeps (thinking it’s Harry’s treasure by mistake). They decide to entrap the principal at the big TGivs parade and the reporter and everyone hails them as heroes. Ultimately, though, they don’t get the girl and instead Bob Sagat thinks they smeared a bunch of poop on his car or whatever. THE END.

Hmmmm, let’s start with a compliment. I thought the actor who portrayed Lloyd was very good. No wonder he went on to star in NCIS: Los Angeles. Not much to say outside of that. I recall liking the Bob Sagat bits when I saw this in the theater, but I think I kind of forgot the set up with the chocolate bar and stuff. All of it is quite dumb and mildly offensive. It also has that 80’s/90’s kids movie trope where the principal has to have some kind of complicated plot he’s hatching that our heroes have to foil. Why? I guess because there’s nothing else for a couple of dumb people to do. I think I would have preferred for them to go full straight-to-video 90’s and have the school taken over by terrorists or something. Anyway, there is very little to recommend in this film. The acting is tragic besides Lloyd and a totally out of place and underutilized Shia LaBeouf. The real tragedy is that this went to theaters so you can’t ignore its existence like we all do with Ace Ventura Jr.

Hot Take Clam Bake! This film does not actually take place in 1986 but rather 1992 and thus I believe that these are in fact imposters and not the Harry and Lloyd we met in Dumb and Dumber. Exhibit A is the excessive use of Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby, a song released in 1990. Now you are probably like “it’s just a song, dummy, meant to evoke the attitude of Lloyd dancing to something else.” Oh yeah, well how about Exhibit B? At one point in the film Lloyd uses the phrase “It’s on like Donkey Kong.” This phrase is attributed to Ice Cube from his 1992 album Predator. I just seriously doubt that 6 years earlier the dumbest man on the planet beat Ice Cube to the punch. Next you’ll be saying he’s a time traveler… wait a sec… HOLY SHIT! Hot Take Temperature: Vanilla Ice Cube.

Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Are we talking about the one where you make a totally disconnected prequel but you still just play back all the best jokes from the original? Let’s go!

We ended up watching this as a bonus since it came out too early for the cycle. Time to finish the Dumb and Dumber franchise once and for all (well, until we decide to change over to the Bad Cartoon Twins I guess, there was a cartoon right?).

And fun fact, 2003. This would have been when we were making the big bucks during the summer and realizing “wait … we can just watch any movie that comes to theaters?” And we did. This and The Hulk are the two I distinctly remember from the summer of 2003. Nothing else really sticks out except I don’t think I watched X2 because I distinctly remember watching that twice on some plane ride. Given the year, I think it was likely the flight I took to London a year later?

Wait one goddamned second, Grind was 2003. Impressive, our friends who made us watch that a thousand times were on the cutting edge getting that on VHS.

Oh, this movie … but I was having so much fun reminiscing about the random movies I watched in and around 2003.

This movie is dumb and disgusting. I don’t actually really get though why the story is that Harry was cast first and they were dead set on him, and then he had to convince them to cast the guy who played Lloyd … I thought the guy playing Lloyd ultimately was way better and looked much more like the original character. Whatever.

No jokes are funny, the love interest story is dumb, and the underlying A story of a conspiracy to bilk some fund of money for special education is a waste of time.

In a way it is a perfect movie to explain why 2000-2008 was just the absolute best for bad movies. They decided to make this without input of the original creators or any of the actors at all. They made it and it got released to theaters in this form. It made $26 million. Lunacy.

Obviously Setting as a Character (Where?) for Rhode Island which is where all Dumb and Dumber movies begin. Secret Holiday Film Alert (When?) for TGivs as there is a parade surrounding this at the end. And I’ll throw out a Worst Twist (How?) for the ultimate reveal that everything that happened in the movie was kind of pointless since they were already running a sting operation on the principal so he was going to be caught regardless. This movie is a BMT movie, it perfectly represents everything that is wrong with early-2000s comedies and movie making.

Read about the prequel to my own betrayal in the quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd Preview

“I ain’t afraid of no gh-gh-ghosts,” Jamie says, looking at the stately manor that Patrick has taken them to. Patrick tells him that he had graduated from the Style Section of Love 101 and was ready to ‘Get all the feels.’ “And by feels I mean time to seal the deal with what every woman wants,” Patrick explains. Jamie nods in understanding. “A firm handshake,” he says matter of factly. “Only the firmest,” Patrick agrees. Kyle looks wistful for a moment remembering when he and Rachel shared their first firm handshake. “But what does this have to do with a ghost house (with the most house)?” Jamie asks. Patrick chuckles. “What’s a better way to strengthen those handshake muscles than busting ghosts?” He says, handing proton packs to Jamie and Kyle. “Wait a second, where’s your proton pack?” Jamie asks. Patrick slaps him on the shoulder and assures him that he’s been shaking hands with his lady since 1982. As they approach the house Jamie is just glad that Samantha had that European tour set for her new book. It sure does look spooky and he wouldn’t like her to see how scared he is. Just when he is about to declare this lesson to be the dumbest one yet, Patrick pipes up jovially. “This actually reminds me of when we all first met,” he says. “You mean in jail?” Kyle asks, his voice hitching in fear.  “Oh yeah,” Jamie says, momentarily distracted from how hauntingly spooktacular the house looks, “we had to clean out the basement of the jail, remember? Now that you mention it, that was way scarier than this.” Suddenly he’s not feeling so bad. “Yeah,” Patrick says remembering, “we were all just too young and dumb to be scared.” That’s right! We are doing a double dose of “dumb” with a healthy serving of “meet” by watching the Dumb and Dumber prequel and sequel: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and Dumb and Dumber To. We saw the prequel in theaters oh so many years ago and it has always been a point of pride. This cycle seemed like the perfect time to break it out by pairing it with the sequel that is a surprising BMT qualifier. Let’s go!

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) – BMeTric: 88.8; Notability: 40

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 22.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.2%; Higher BMeT: The Room, Gigli, House of the Dead, … Higher Notability: The Matrix Revolutions, Bad Boys II, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, Brother Bear, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Scary Movie 3, The Haunted Mansion, The Cat in the Hat, Gods and Generals, Timeline, Hollywood Homicide, Tears of the Sun, The Core, Agent Cody Banks, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life, Cradle 2 the Grave, Duplex, Paycheck, Beyond Borders, Wonderland, and 36 more; Lower RT: Dorm Daze, The Foreigner, Hangman’s Curse, Gold Diggers, House of the Dead, Gigli, Kangaroo Jack, From Justin to Kelly, My Boss’s Daughter, Grind, Marci X, Gods and Generals, The Cat in the Hat, The Order, Darkness Falls; Notes: Jesus, that is one high BMeT. And the best bit is that there are apparently three others that beat it? We still haven’t seen House of the Dead, although it was at one point on the docket for 2003 as horror for the next cycle. I think we nixed it ultimately, so it’ll have to wait still.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  Desperate prequel to the 1994 comedy hit shows the two oafish friends meeting up in high school and becoming pawns in their slimy principal’s scheme to get funding for a special education class – and abscond with the funds. The actors playing younger versions of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels do a good job, but this movie is appallingly unfunny; a particular waste of Levy and Oteri’s comedy talents.

(He really can’t help himself, he needs to add in that semicolon. This is probably the first BOMB in quite a while. He doesn’t throw them out willy nilly.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdjX8Voj5vI/

(Wow, remember when trailers would make fun of other movies like Lord of the Rings. Kind of weird that Richardson was hired first because I think he looks much worse as a young Harry as Olsen does as Lloyd.)

Directors – Troy Miller – ( Known For: Run Ronnie Run; Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a Story; Future BMT: Jack Frost; BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Nominated for 7 Emmys for things like editing a movie for the Emmys, but also for Flight of the Conchords. He’s directed a ton of random television like Arrested Development and Brooklyn Nine-nine.)

Writers – Peter Farrelly and  Bobby Farrelly – ( Known For: Green Book; Dumb and Dumber; There’s Something About Mary; Me, Myself & Irene; Shallow Hal; Stuck on You; The Three Stooges; The Greatest Beer Run Ever; Ricky Stanicky; Outside Providence; Future BMT: Hall Pass; The Heartbreak Kid; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Obviously just got a credit for the characters.)

Bennett Yellin – ( Known For: Dumb and Dumber; In the Blood; BMT: Dumb and Dumber To; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Also just characters, but looking through his filmography reminds me that there is a Dumb and Dumber cartoon … should I watch that?)

Robert Brener – ( BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Was also an executive producer on the movie.)

Troy Miller – ( BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Pretty much his only actual screenplay credit. What a bizarre movie. I think both of these guys only wrote this and nothing else in their careers.)

Actors – Derek Richardson – ( Known For: Hostel; Hostel: Part II; Reeker; The Power of Few; Home; BMT: Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Notes: Is married to Franka Potente from The Bourne Identity. Was the original actor cast in the film.)

Eric Christian Olsen – ( Known For: Cellular; Sunshine Cleaning; Beerfest; Battle of the Sexes; The Last Kiss; Celeste & Jesse Forever; Band of Robbers; The Six Wives of Henry Lefay; Sun Dogs; Local Boys; The Relationtrip; Future BMT: Eagle Eye; The Thing; Not Another Teen Movie; The Hot Chick; The Back-up Plan; Fired Up!; The Comebacks; BMT: Pearl Harbor; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; License to Wed; Notes: Has been in over 300 episodes of NCIS: Los Angeles.)

Eugene Levy – ( Known For: American Pie; Finding Dory; American Pie 2; American Reunion; American Wedding; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; Over the Hedge; Serendipity; Vacation; Goon; Father of the Bride; Splash; Best in Show; Father of the Bride Part II; Astro Boy; Heavy Metal; Multiplicity; Waiting for Guffman; Taking Woodstock; A Mighty Wind; Future BMT: The Man; Down to Earth; Holy Man; Almost Heroes; The Ladies Man; Armed and Dangerous; I Love Trouble; Madea’s Witness Protection; Club Paradise; Once Upon a Crime…; Speed Zone; BMT: Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd; Bringing Down the House; New York Minute; Notes: Famously on SCTV and was nominated for 13 Emmys, 9 for SCTV (won two) and 4 for Schitt’s Creek (won two).)

Budget/Gross – $19,000,000 / Domestic: $26,276,465 (Worldwide: $39,267,515)

(like … close, but yeah, probably pretty bad. But I should say, we gave them like $10 I’m sure. I distinctly remember seeing this in theaters. What a wild life I’ve led.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (12/119): This lame prequel induces more groans than laughs. Rent the original instead.

(Man, just a shade over 10% here. That seems like a crime. How does this have any good reviews?)

Reviewer Highlight: While Dumb and Dumber possessed a bracing, genuine vulgarity, this new film is more often merely disgusting as it piles up jokes involving various bodily discharges and the unpleasant things that can be done with them. – David Kehr, New York Times

Poster – Sklog and Sklogerer: When Jamie Met Patrick

(I distinctly remember this poster from when it came out. It is terrible. You could fire this off in powerpoint in an afternoon. D.)

Tagline(s) – The evolution of dumb… (B-)

(I’m OK with this. I just have one question. Is this actually supposed to be a play on ‘The evolution of man’ but with ‘dumb’ replacing ‘man’? I assume so, but I can’t tell if that is a good or bad thing.)

Keyword(s) – 2007-2015

Top 10: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), The Hangover Part II (2011), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009), In Time (2011), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 2012 (2009), Terminator Salvation (2009), Due Date (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Future BMT: 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.3 Prom Night (2008), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.5 Shark Night (2011), 78.0 The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.1 Paranormal Activity 4 (2012), 75.2 The Apparition (2012), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 74.1 The Spirit (2008), 73.6 The Last Exorcism Part II (2013), 73.2 The Unborn (2009), 72.0 Dance Flick (2009), 71.2 Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

BMT: Epic Movie (2007), Meet the Spartans (2008), Dragonball Evolution (2009), Jack and Jill (2011), Scary Movie V (2013), The Last Airbender (2010), Left Behind (2014), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Love Guru (2008), In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), Norbit (2007), Movie 43 (2013), I Know Who Killed Me (2007), Bratz (2007), The Legend of Hercules (2014), Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), One Missed Call (2008), Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009), Skyline (2010), The Devil Inside (2012), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Furry Vengeance (2010), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), After Earth (2013), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (2011), The Gallows (2015), Jonah Hex (2010), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011), Getaway (2013), …

Best Options (Comedy): 96.3 Disaster Movie (2008), 90.5 Vampires Suck (2010), 84.2 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 79.2 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 78.0 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 75.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 74.4 God’s Not Dead (2014), 72.0 Dance Flick (2009), 70.2 Delta Farce (2007), 69.6 College Road Trip (2008), 69.4 Gulliver’s Travels (2010), 69.1 Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (2010), 68.5 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.1 An American Carol (2008), 64.8 Sex Tape (2014), 64.7 The Comebacks (2007), 64.6 Tooth Fairy (2010), 63.7 Underdog (2007), 63.5 Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015), 62.1 Space Chimps (2008), 61.1 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015), 60.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007), 60.9 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 60.8 Meet Dave (2008), 60.7 College (2008), 60.0 Code Name: The Cleaner (2007), 60.0 Witless Protection (2008), 60.0 Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011), …

(What a bonus. Out of all the ones we’ve done (and it is way more than just those listed) probably In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is the craziest. Although part of me wants to say Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li is probably the biggest bang for your buck.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Mimi Rogers is No. 3 billed in Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and No. 4 billed in Lost in Space, which also stars Heather Graham (No. 7 billed) who is in Say It Isn’t So (No. 2 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (3 + 4) + (7 + 2) + (1 + 2) = 19. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Early on, South Park (1997) creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were lined up to write the prequel for $1.5 million. They later decided to not work on the project and returned all of the money to New Line.

Due to events that retroactively occur/are stated in Dumb and Dumber To (2014), When Harry Met Lloyd is no longer canon.

The truck that pulls in front of Jessica as she is chasing the short school bus is hauling “Turbo Lax”, the same laxative Lloyd gives Harry in the original Dumb and Dumber (1994).

Lin Shaye was the only cast member to star in both the original Dumb and Dumber (1994) and the prequel.

Eric Christian Olsen was repeatedly denied the role of Lloyd because the producers thought he was “too good-looking”. It was only after seeing some home-video footage of Eric in full make-up improvising a scene with already-cast Derek Richardson that they gave him the role.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Couple (Eric Christian Olsen, Derek Richardson)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Robert Brener, Troy Miller)