Black Dog Recap

Jamie

Jack Crews, truck driver extraordinaire, is fresh out of jail and trying to make ends meet. When he is offered an illegal smuggling job he wants to say no, but needs the money for his family. The job immediately goes awry as everyone from criminals to the police are after him. Can he stop the bad guys (and not go back to jail) before it’s too late? Find out in… Black Dog.

How?! Act I: Jack Crews is a man just trying to do right by his family. He was the best (the best!) truck driver around, but fell asleep at the wheel and went to jail for manslaughter. Now he just wants to make sure his family is fed, has a roof over their heads, and gets all the basketball shoes and free throw practice they need. Aw shucks. In a wild coincidence he is offered a $10,000 illegal smuggling job the same day that he learns that he owes $9,000 on his mortgage. How about that! So while he wants to say no, the pressure from his smarmy boss and debt force him into the criminal lifestyle. Oh, woe is the American justice system! Look upon ye institution that has failed such an honest family man in Jack Crews. Look at his chiselled chin! Oh, what a chin!… Act II: He totes goes and takes over the big rig like the boss that he is. Even when the bad guys attempt to set him up as a patsy and steal the goods back from under him, Crews is like “no way, Jose,” and outdrives them (duh). From there we learn that not only is one of the crew a rat, but another of the crew is an undercover cop! Oh boy, Jack Crews may as well drive right back to jail, right? Wrong! Act III: That’s because he sets up the big bad guys (who have kidnapped his wife and kid) to be caught by the police. Happy and laughing he totally hugs his kid and smooches on his wife and they all climb right into the truck for a little joy ride over to the impound lot (lol, what?). But, uh oh! Another bad guy is ready for one last intense chase culminating in a giant explosion and more smooches for Crews (naturally). THE END. Big question: is this the quintessential film about the pressure on parolees towards recidivism due to lack of adequate reentry programs?… name me a better one. 

Why?! Right in line with the big question, the motivation for Jack Crews is obvious. He is on parole for a felony manslaughter conviction. He needs a job to provide for his family, but the only person who will hire him is a smarmy criminal who is looking to exploit Jack’s lack of opportunity to use him for his nefarious deeds. Feeling like he has no way out, Jack takes the job. The criminals want that sweet, sweet money and they need Jack to take the fall in order to obtain it.

Who?! Randy Travis has a major role in the film, which is quite the coincidence seeing as he is also in next week’s Friend, T.N.T…. which also stars the star of Driving Force, Sam J. Jones. Additionally, Meat Loaf also has a prominent role in the film… but I thought he was less good than Randy Travis to be honest. There are also some great Special Thanks on this film, but definitely wanted to point out that the UNC burn center got a thanks as a result of an on-set accident that led to the firing of a few of the crew members. 

What?! “Well I better make sure to find a good product placement in Black Dog starring Patrick Swayze because god knows there won’t be any props for sale,” says Jamie as he checks the internet, “What thuuuu….” That’s right, you too can look just like Patrick Swayze… wearing a flannel shirt (probably while being told that he needs to commit crimes to make ends meet). In terms of actual product placements though, I only noticed a number of Ford motor vehicles.

Where?! Road Trip Alert! The beginning and end of the film take place clearly in New Jersey and the trip starts in Georgia. So I would put those at the top of the list of settings. But Tennessee is in there along with North Carolina. Obviously there are others, but would have to watch a bit closer to get his exact route clear. B

When?! Uh, basketball season? Seriously, though, you can put the pieces together on this one. Swayze’s file says he applied for a job at where he works in October 1998. In the beginning of the film his boss says he’s been working there for three weeks. I would put this in the beginning of November. Even the beautiful fall foliage matches this window. C.

Up until the end of the film, it was pretty ho hum. I liked the big stunts and explosions. Swayze’s background and motivations were tragic and made me sad, but I guess that’s a good thing since it made me feel an emotion (?)… although I don’t typically look for sadness in my action films. But otherwise the script was pretty tough, hinging on a hilarious coincidence where Jack gets his job offer the very day that he stumbles upon the foreclosure notice his wife has hidden from him. How fortunate for our narrative momentum. That should have been a hint for what the end of the film would bring because once the bad guys are dispatched our hero (?) is informed that he is not in fact going to jail at all! The police all recognize his innocence despite the many bodies Jack has left in his wake while driving a big rig across the United States without a license. No worries about that, they’ll help him get that license back. Also don’t worry about your house, they’re paying for it. Great! Also, does Jack and his family want to bip and bop about in the truck (a crime scene) for a bit before delivering it to the impound lot? Of course they do. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. As for Driving Force, it was exactly as billed: a Mad Max ripoff. I thought the story was pretty good despite that, as was Don Swayze. My biggest problem was actually a weird throughline that despite living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape the main character refuses help from the many wealthy individuals in his life in order to work as a tow truck driver/murderer to support his daughter… like what’s wrong with getting a safe job in your girlfriend’s corporation that she owns and runs? But no, he needs to earn a living like a man… that’s pretty dumb, bro. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! Here I was thinking I was going to watch an action packed Swayze smash ‘em up, and instead we got a PSA about driving while tired. Well, I know I’m not going to drive while drowsy, lest I end up like Jack Crews. Let’s get into it!

P’s View on the Preview – I really didn’t know what to expect with this one. It is a movie I never heard of, with a clearly over-the-hill Patrick Swayze way past his 80s action prime, involving things I’m not sure I care about, namely big rigs. But hey, it is always fun to learn new things right? What were my expectations? Let’s get some sweet Swayze action, some things about fambly, and big rig action and call it a day. What more could I really expect?

The Good – The big rig action was actually a lot better than I expected. A bit slow moving, and a better movie would have adjusted the speed a bit instead of trying to provide realistic explanations about how big rigs are actually really hard to stop and dangerous, even when you think you’re under control (rainbow, piano ditty, The More You Know). The acting is … fine actually. I was fine with it, along with the ragtag group of heroes Swayze kind of accidentally accrues around him.

The Bad – The FBI story with Tobolowski is nonsense. I could have done without so much Meatloaf. I get it, he wants to jack the load and get away with the loot, but he keeps on coming back like the Terminator. He owns a transportation company, he isn’t a super human, it was weird. Swayze looks oooooooold in this film. It is pretty surprising considering he was only like 46 at the time, but it makes the film feel like a Seagal film, a last gasp of an era where a producer could just shout “Swayze, big rigs” and get a movie made. The end is terrible and basically kills the rest of the film. Spoiler, but the FBI absolves our ex-con from any legal repercussions, pays for his house, and get his trucker license back in one fail swoop, and then asks Swayze to drive the load to the impound himself with no escort … like WHAT?

The BMT – I don’t think so. If this was what BMT was every week I think we would have quit doing it years ago. I’m not joking. It is kind of a novelty I’ll give it that, but there just isn’t much meat on that bad movie bone. It’s a movie that kind of sucks, the end. Did it meet my expectations – As minimal as they were yes it did. I got to see old Swayze drive some big rigs with a heavy dose of him talking about his family. Doesn’t mean I enjoyed it, nor that it was that bad, this time I kind of knew what we were getting ourselves into prior to watching the film.

Roast-radamus – I think there is a strong case for Brian Vincent’s Wes being a Planchet (Who?) because his sole purpose in the film seems to be to be a slob and to be ripped on by everyone else. Unless your daughter’s basketball game is a holiday it doesn’t get that. I could believe that the cache of guns that Swayze is running is a MacGuffin (Why?), but in the end that is probably all you can make a strong case for. It really isn’t a bad, good, or BMT in the end.

StreetCreditReport.com – I really can’t find anything with this on it. Not for 1998 or even for Swayze rankings (which mostly don’t count as they just use the Rotten Tomatoes score). I would say this would likely make a top five worst Swayze film. I think it is a top 5 worst Trucking film. And I think this could mix it up on some lists for the last film a major film star made prior to making a bunch of straight-to-video films as well. It has a pedigree of some sort, just not one you’ll find listed online.

Bring a Friend Analysis – For this Sibling Rivalry we had to look for a classic Don Swayze film. And Driving Force … well, it’s a Don Swayze film. Set in a dystopian future it really reminded me of a knock off Mad Max. A future where the bad guys rule, and the good guys can only take so much before they lash out at those that tried to take their loved ones. It is definitely the kind of film someone would be like “oh, Don Swayze, there is no way this isn’t entertaining!” And then you’d watch it and be like “Yeah … that was garbage, why did I watch that?” Also supremely weird because Flash Gordon himself is the lead actor and he is not good at acting. Grindy grungy film which could be entertaining if you’re into that style. I am not. C.

Originally I was going to watch Flash Gordon, but I straight up ran out of time. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

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Black Dog Quiz

Man I must have fallen asleep at the wheel there. One minute I was watching this movie, the next I remember a big black dog come out of nowhere and attack me! I can’t remember a thing. Can you remember what happened in the movie Black Dog?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Jack Crews is a fambly man with a heart of gold. One problem, he’s also an ex-con without a license to do the one thing he knows in all this damned world: drive. So what exactly is Jack doing to make ends meet?

2) But before Jack can retire for good he’s got “one last job”. What is the job precisely?

3) And when he gets down to the job Crews meets the crew who’s going to help him cruise up to New Jersey. How many people are in the crew, what are their jobs, and what are each of their deep dark secrets?

4) When the job gets a bit bigger than Jack expected you might think he’d maybe slow walk it back home. One problem: he promised his girl he was going to be back in time for what? So he’s kind of stuck between a rock, and a crazy-Meatloaf place.

5) Finally, Jack gets to loot, saves the girl, smashes some baddies, and shows off a bit of dat bod to boot. What does he get in return from the very grateful FBI?

Answers

Black Dog Preview

Patrick sits nervously on his couch. “Can I get you officers anything,” he asks politely to Detectives Lost and Found. ‘Thank you, no,” says Found, “we just wanted to ask you a few more questions about the missing dog we’re looking for.” Patrick is all ears, but Lost appears agitated and butts in. “Where’s the other one of you two? Aren’t you two supposed to be crafting some new work of genius?” he asked aggressively, looking suspiciously around the apartment. “Uh… no… well, yes. But he left. He’s a real dumbo anyway, you wouldn’t want to talk to him,” Patrick responds glumly. “That’s too bad,” says Found, just as he whacks Patrick over the head with an elaborate candlestick. Rolling him up in a very expensive and classy Persian rug they sneak Patrick out of the apartment. “Too bad we couldn’t get both. Hope our… friend… holds up his end of the bargain,” Lost wheezes as they toss Patrick’s limp body into the back of a tractor trailer. That’s right! We’re heading on a cross-country, action-filled trip with Patrick Swayze a.k.a. The Swayze. I’ve actually had my eye on this one for a while since it was the last major release of Swayze’s career and seems to me like it’s been largely forgotten. Let’s go!

Jamie brushes the dust out his eyes as he squints at the dark figure approaching through the wasteland. At first glance he looks like a famous actor, but on closer inspection he is not… not at all. He doesn’t like the look of this at all, but just when he turns to hide he’s surrounded by a group of marauding mailmen.  “Not these guys again,” Jamie thinks, remembering how he and Patrick barely escaped them with their lives the last time they were in the waste… but Patrick’s not here now. Just when the mailmen approach to pummel Jamie, though, the dark figure appears at his side. That’s right! We’re buckling up for a high-octane thrill ride with Driving Force starring none other than *squits* Sam J. Jones… is that right? Also appearing in the film is Don Swayze. He of course plays the bad guy because… well, he kinda just looks like a bad guy. We chose it because I couldn’t believe that Don Swayze also had a truck driving movie. Let’s go! 

Black Dog (1998) – BMeTric: 36.8 

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(I’m a bit stunned by how many votes this has. I’ve never heard of this film, according to the rating it is considered quite bad by people who’ve watched it … and yet it has nearly eight thousand IMDb votes. Must be some sort of swayze effect.)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  An ex-con trucker with a suspended license makes one last run to avoid foreclosure, and his rig turns out to be full of concealed assault weapons that his corrupt boss is planning to sell. There’s no dirty dancing for Swayze here but lots of dirty driving. Heavier on crashes than coherency.

(Did Leonard miss a comma before the last “but”? … nevermind. This review sounds suspiciously like “meh” which is … foreboding.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5FHxF0KqdA/

(Come to papa! This looks old school. They really don’t make theatrical films like this these days. As a matter of fact, that’s a fact. Seagal, Swayze, and Van Damme would all be relegated to straight-to-DVD by 2000 because these films just didn’t fly as “action” films anymore.)

Directors – Kevin Hooks – (Future BMT: Fled; Passenger 57; Strictly Business; BMT: Black Dog; Notes: Was an actor, particularly in The White Shadow, but now he only directs and produces. His father was also an actor, specifically in Star Trek III.)

Writers – William Mickelberry (written by) – (BMT: Black Dog; Notes: Directed the show Super Force, which sounds super rad. An astronaut in the future comes back to Earth and becomes a vigilante after learning his brother was murdered.)

Dan Vining (written by) – (BMT: Black Dog; Notes: Exclusively wrote TV Movies right up until this film … which was his last credit on IMDb.)

Actors – Patrick Swayze – (Known For: The Outsiders; Dirty Dancing; Point Break; Donnie Darko; To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar; Ghost; Red Dawn; The Player; Next of Kin; 11:14; Uncommon Valor; City of Joy; Keeping Mum; Tall Tale; Green Dragon; Future BMT:Waking Up in Reno; Father Hood; Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights; Christmas in Wonderland; Youngblood; Powder Blue; Three Wishes; BMT: Black Dog; Road House; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 1990 for Next of Kin, and Road House; Notes: The Sexiest Man Alive in 1991, died of pancreatic cancer in 2009.)

Randy Travis – (Known For: The Rainmaker; Future BMT: National Treasure: Book of Secrets; Frank & Jesse; BMT: Baby Geniuses; Fire Down Below; Black Dog; Texas Rangers; Notes: A world famous country singer, he has won six Grammys. He had a stroke in 2013 which has permanently left him unable to fully perform.)

Meat Loaf – (Known For: Fight Club; The Rocky Horror Picture Show; Wayne’s World; Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny; The Salton Sea; The Mighty; Leap of Faith; Beautiful Boy; Motorama; Focus; Future BMT: BloodRayne; Stage Fright; The 51st State; The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag; Crazy in Alabama; The Squeeze; Roadie; BMT: Spice World; Black Dog; Notes: A true singer-actor. He’s been part of a number of bands, but throughout he’s also performed theatrically and in film. Specifically he got his start performing in a travelling production of Hair.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $12,951,088

(Yeah a bit unclear, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was a fine success. Clearly this is well after Swayze’s peak as a film star, and the stunts / sets seem like they could have been done reasonably on the cheap.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (2/20)

(Let’s get a consensus. If you like trucks, red meat, and country music? Well we made a terrible film that we hope you’ll spend money on. I do appreciate that almost all of the reviews note that this is basically an exploitation film. Exploiting trucks, and exploiting the audience who they think are demanding to spend money on films about them. Reviewer Highlight: Forget the Mortal Kombat movies–this trucksploitation flick is the closest the movies has come to video games. – Michael Dequina, TheMovieReport.com)

Poster – Black Sklog (C-)

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(While I 100% want to frame this and hang it in my home, I also think it’s absolutely crazy. Is the entire poster a dutch angle? Is the poster half fire? Why is there a tiny helicopter next to Swayze’s godlike face? So many unanswered questions and terrible font to boot. I won’t put it all the way in the trash because I also think it’s what I want out of a poster. Some love and care.)

Tagline(s) – The only way to stay alive is to keep moving. (D+)

(This is also the tagline for Shark: The Movie. This is the classic type of tagline that sounds like a tagline but then seems to peter out. Like you could imagine a film with the tagline “The only way to stay alive is to die” and it creates the unexpected twist. This just… doesn’t. It’s actually pretty bad when you think hard about it.)

Keyword(s) – betrayal by a friend; Top Ten by BMeTric: 67.1 Bodyguard (2011); 53.6 View from the Top (2003); 47.4 Little Black Book (2004); 40.8 The Alphabet Killer (2008); 37.9 Chasers (1994); 36.8 Black Dog (1998); 34.1 The Keeper (I) (2009); 34.0 Another 48 Hrs. (1990); 33.1 Broken Arrow (1996); 33.1 Drive Me Crazy (1999);

(I am shocked that betrayal by a friend isn’t more common … but maybe people don’t bother to add it to a bunch of films? Anyways, it is a bit unfortunate that the one I’m most interested in is Broken Arrow and it doesn’t qualify.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Patrick Swayze is No. 1 billed in Black Dog and No. 1 billed in Road House, which also stars Sam Elliott (No. 3 billed) who is in Ghost Rider (No. 5 billed), which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 5 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 1 + 3 + 5 + 1 + 1 + 5 + 1 = 18. If we were to watch Father Hood, The Rich Man’s Wife, and Killer Elite we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – On January 6, 1998, three Special Effects crew members were injured, preparing a gas-based explosion in downtown Wilmington, North Carolina. Two of the crew were hospitalized with serious injuries, and the third was treated and released. Improper safety measures that went against industry standards, allowed for a premature explosion as the crew was setting up the shot. The battery used to trigger the explosion was stored inside a truck engine compartment, rather than in the open. The battery was not disconnected when a cable touched the electrical contacts, causing detonation. Black Dog Productions was fined sixteen thousand eight hundred dollars by the state. These scenes that were filmed in downtown Wilmington, were not used in the final release. (This was definitely the opening scene. They were definitely in Wilmington, NC for that film and it makes sense that they wanted to have the truck his a big gas station or something … although they do end up blowing that truck up).

Patrick Swayze went through a real truck driving school to earn his Class A CDL (commercial driver’s license). (Awesome)

The bridge where the F.B.I. pull the truck over, is the Cape Fear Memorial Bridge, one of the few “center span” drawbridges left in the U.S. The bridge opens by the entire center section being lifted straight up in the air between the two towers.

Kevin Sorbo was originally signed to star, but had to pull out due to medical problems. (Wow, what a miss there)

The “F.B.I. Headquarters” shown in the film, is actually the Georgia-Pacific building in downtown Atlanta, Georgia.

According to Vic Armstrong, the stunt crew, including Second Unit Director and Stunt Coordinator Gary Hymes, were fired from the film by the producers. They then called in Vic Armstrong, to film the truck chase, and finish the stunt scenes. Parts of the stunt crew remained on the set, and was rehired by Armstrong.

When Jack talks to his wife he mentions moving out of Newark. However, when you look at the cars and trucks there are no front license plates. (Okay? That’s standard. Everything in the movie points to them living just outside of Newark, it is on his job sheet when he gets extorted by his boss in the beginning)

Lost & Found Recap

Jamie

Dylan Ramsey’s love life is a total mess at the exact moment that a stunningly beautiful, professional cello player moves in next door. Realizing he’s in love he does anything to win her affection, including steal her dog so they can search for it together. Can he… give the dog back to her, I guess (and perhaps get the girl) before it’s too late? Find out in… Lost & Found.

How?! Act I: Dylan Ramsey is a restaurateur extraordinaire in need of THE BIG LOAN, but his love life is a disaster. Just then he meets his new neighbor, Lila, and immediately knows this smart, super attractive, talented woman is perfect for him: a self-confident loser. If only she also had the self-confidence to realize it! Luckily the power of positivity is destined to bring them together. Or is it? Bum bum bum. That’s because Lila’s scummy ex-boyfriend, Rene, who totally cheated on her and didn’t foster her self-confidence, is in town. Uh oh! What’s a boy to do? You know, other than never go to work and steal Lila’s dog so that she all day searching for it with you. And so his life as a dognapper is born. Act II: The whole middle of the film is mostly him making snide remarks to Rene and lamenting having to spend a bunch of time with a lame dog that totally ate his best friend’s anniversary ring that he conveniently had to hold onto (that’s just good writing). Act III: Things come to a head at the big party Dylan’s restaurant is holding to try to secure THE BIG LOAN. Coincidentally Lila is also there so that she can speak to the head of the philharmonic to try to get a job. There’s a scene where Dylan sings Neil Diamond and totally gets THE BIG LOAN, but at the same time Lila finds out that he has her dog. Oh no! After a while of moping around Dylan finds that Lila actually forgives him for his transgressions and takes him back and they smooch a whole bunch. THE END. The film hinges on a regressive “low self-esteem woman needs the right man to fulfill her promise” plot with Dylan espousing the self-help stylings of The Secret. Dylan’s advice is to dream big, have confidence, and good things will happen. So the big question: Did Dylan imagine Lila into existence through the power of positive thinking?

Why?! Love, duh… at least as far as the “romantic” storyline goes. He’s smitten with Lila and all the insane things he does is tied up in that. She actually doesn’t seem as interested in love at the moment. She’s fresh out of a toxic relationship and just trying to find work in a new country (we could analyze exactly what kind of visa she has all day but I’ll spare you). Then there is the background business loan that Dylan needs to expand his successful (?) restaurant… but I choose to ignore that. Oh and a minor B-plot MacGuffin Alert as Dylan really needs to find the engagement ring he’s been tasked to keep safe… but no one else cares about that.

Who?! Movie Within A Movie Alert! Another rare type here as portions of a fake movie about a kid who has to shoot his own dog were shot for the film. The kid? Frankie Muniz. Speaking of dogs, I also appreciate when the canine actor is given an actual credit in the film. In this case Jack was played by Cody. Good dog.

What?! There are a number of small product placements, including an extended shot of a Victoria’s Secret catalogue and the forced consumption of Pepto-Bismol by a dog. I do love when there is something in there that is so small you can’t even think of how or why it would be product placement. Like there is a moment when a character is drinking conspicuously from an Orange Julius cup… did Orange Julius pay for that? If yes, why?

Where?! This is obviously set in California. From the beautiful vistas to the California license plates to the Dodgers paraphernalia. If that was it, I think I’d land this at C+/B- territory. However, there are two scenes set explicitly in the Hollywood Bowl… which means this probably jumps all the way up to an A-.  

When?! Because I’m insane, I went back through the film and made sure we couldn’t get an exact date. The closest we get is the Victoria’s Secret catalogue that Dylan gets in the mail. Clearly says Spring ‘98 on the cover and he’s getting the new issue so it is a rough estimate. Too bad I couldn’t find when those magazines were released more precisely. D+

Anyway, overall the film is pretty lightweight all-around and is particularly embarrassing at the end when Dylan secures the big loan from Martin Sheen by dressing up and singing a Neil Diamond song. I shudder even thinking about it. As for the Friend we brought, Soultaker starring Joe Estevez was a pretty enjoyable film to watch. It plot is thin, but the acting and writing are off the hook. The main actor in particular is just so weird it’s almost like meta-acting. Almost like he looked at the role and decided to play the type of actor that would take such a role instead of the role itself. The ending is nonsense too. Not bad in my opinion. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! I was lost, but now … I am found. All it took was a meandering story about a vulgar restauranteur with a heart of gold. Let’s get into it!

P’s View on the Preview – I would have thought this film on first blush was a Happy Madison joint. In reality it seemed like a weird Spade vehicle that might have started as a Spade/Farley buddy comedy that was retrofitted after Farley’s death. Late 90s Something About Mary clones are maybe a blind spot for me, so that was probably the most interesting bit. What are my expectations? I would just be happy if there is enough gay panic, gross humor, and racial stereotypes to remind be that “yup, this is what comedies used to be like”. It was a wildly different time.

The Good – I genuinely liked Spade and how they made a big part of the film the idea that he needs to get this woman to know him because he comes across as a jerk. This is something that gets glossed over elsewhere: the sarcastic schlubby guy needs to have a sweet and funny side to make the mutual attraction at the center of the film make sense. I had one good chuckle which, again, is above average. We’ll get to the intricacies of the plot in the next section, but it is a surprisingly coherent plot given together it has to hold about five different threads together (main romantic storyline, restaurant needs a loan, Spade needs to hold his friend’s ring, French ex-beau in town, Spade’s employee is obsessed with him).

The Bad – Oh boy, the gay panic, child rape jokes, a hard f-bomb. It was a wild time indeed. The storyline is one of the best examples of the “plot cloud” I’ve ever seen. And little of it makes much sense … like, why is this bank allowing this restaurant to cater an event as part of a loan application (I know I know, Spade did it at cost, but why would Martin Sheen give a shit?)? Why does Sheen basically say loans aren’t based on money … and then turns around and gives the loan after Spade lip-syncs some Neil Diamond?! None of it makes sense. And finally, while it is clear the bad guy is a bad guy because he cheated on Lila we are told … most of his actions during the film make him look fine? He’s clearly controlling and smarmy, but Spade is kind of mean and inconsiderate to his friends as well. I can absolutely see why Leonard Maltin thought the bad guy came across as better than Spade during the film, especially at the time.

The BMT – It is weak. I think you can add it to the repertoire of late-90s and SNL-alum comedies. But the film isn’t over the top with the weirdness that you have to show it to people. Like, there isn’t a four minute long gay panic scene or anything, which would have made the movie a bit more must-see. We’ll see more Spade films, specifically Black Sheep with Farley qualifies. Did it meet my expectations? I feel like we are on an interesting streak of films kind of half meeting my expectations. We got gay panic, and child rape jokes, and gross humor out the wazoo. But it was too few and far between to sustain the shock-horror throughout.

Roast-radamus – I don’t think Artie Lange is a Planchet … he’s just filling into the Laurel and Hardy / Abott and Costello mold that Farley left behind with his death. Reading Jamie’s section I do think the Orange Julius thing was a real Product Placement (What?). Because SNL must have some connection to Orange Julius. They have to. Definitely a Setting as a Character (Where?) for Los Angeles complete with a trip to the Hollywood Bowl. And then there is a discussion about the dog. It isn’t a MacGuffin, but it is a “thing” that is a linchpin to the plot. You can imagine any plot: boy meets girl, boy steals [object, e.g. a car, a dog, a prized surfboard] from her to get closer to her, hilarity ensues. It is a something, not a MacGuffin, but it is the “why” of the film. We won’t use it for the awards, but it is something to think about.

StreetCreditReport.com – Almost nothing, which shouldn’t be a surprise since I basically didn’t know this movie existed until I watched it. Roger Ebert eviscerated it which is a plus. It probably is one of the worst dognapping films. Could definitely make a list of worst David Spade films. And probably could be considered for a Worst Films Starring a French Movie Star list of some kind as well. But even those are pushing it.

Bring a Friend Analysis – This week we watched the Joe Estevez and Robert Z’Dar classic Soultaker? Never heard of it? Well, it is about four people whose souls become displaced after they die in a tragic car accident. They then must race against death itself, players by Joe Estevez … kind of, he’s like a dark angel character, but Z’Dar is like his boss as well. Anyways, it was written and stars Vivian Schilling and it was clearly a passion project for her. As a bad movie the acting is probably its strongest attribute. The weirdness of Joe Estevez and Z’Dar’s interactions help. And finally some of the weird choices like the drug dealing alcoholic asshole friend, and very strange scene with the mother are probably what you’d see online. I really liked this film. It is wild, and just entertaining enough to sustain the run time. Probably the only time is starts to die a bit is in the end when it just takes forever to get to the point. I really liked this as a friend. A B I think, very entertaining, but nothing super special and specifically interesting.

You Just Got Schooled – This time I had it easy because it turns out Soultaker is considered one of the best episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ever made. In a poll it ranked 18th among fans, and it was noted as a favorite of current MST3K writer Elliott Kalan. The episode is very good in my estimation, having watched a number of MST3K over the years. The comparison of the main character to Tonya Harding, the constant 60 Minutes references, the riffing on the screenwriting in general, and notes concerning Joe Estevez’s status as the lesser Estevez brother are all gold. I would say that while Soultaker itself is entertaining in its weirdness, the MST3K episode made it a very easy rewatch a week later. Indeed, while I may have only occasionally indulged in Soultaker by itself, I think if someone had never seen MST3K this is a fine introduction and companion to the film. It is nice that it, in a way, lends a stamp of approval to the film as an unqualified bad movie.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Lost & Found Quiz

Let’s see. All of this might have just been in my mind, but I’m pretty sure I stole a poor woman’s dog in an ill-fated attempt to make her fall in love with me … wait, is that right? That doesn’t make any sense. Do you remember what happened in Lost & Found?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) David Spade is a lovable restaurateur in Los Angeles with a heart of gold. When we first meet Spade he’s getting broken up with by his girlfriend. What job does she have?

2) Let’s get some facts straight about Spade’s restaurant. What kind of food does it serve? And why do they need a loan?

3) Meanwhile, a very attractive French woman, Lila, moves in next door and Spade just knows that if he can spend time with her, he’ll be able to make her fall in love with him. One problem, the suave Rene has arrived from France to cramp his style. Why did Lila break up with Rene?

4) In order to secure this time together Spade naturally steals Lila’s dog. Second problem, the dog then ends up being involved in the misplacement of Spade’s friend’s diamond ring! Whoops! What two things does Spade think could have happened to the ring, and which one was correct?

5) In order to secure the loan in the end Spade lip syncs (and then eventually sings) some Neil Diamond for the adoring crowd at the shindig he is catering. Why? Why would he do such an embarrassing thing?

Answers

Lost & Found Preview

Jamie and Patrick sit dejected in their tuxedos. Stallone just left, having thanked them profusely for winning him an Oscar for the 6-hour double feature release of Rich and Po3: Dark Web 3D/Daylight. ‘The irony!’ the critics exclaimed about the film. ‘A classic send-up of Hollywood excess!’ they raved. Sigh. Can’t anyone make something bad anymore? But Patrick isn’t so easily discouraged. “Time to put our big boy cable-knit sweaters on and get back to it. What should the fourth film be called?” But Jamie isn’t hearing it and rips off the sleeves of his tuxedo. “It’s time to take matters into our own hands and enter the tournament of champions ourselves. I know we can win. Look at these big ol’ muscles.” But Patrick insists that they need to find Rich and Poe. Nic Cage was very clear. “Humph,” sighs Jamie, “write it then. But I’m going back.” With that he reaches for the power in Patrick and *blink* he’s gone. Patrick tries to follow, but the power within him doesn’t work that way. Only gives him mad hacking skillz… and what use is that now? He sighs and settles down to write. Hours later, and only a few words typed, he hears a knock at the door. Opening it, two police officers greet him. “Bad Movie Twins? I’m Detective Lost and this is my partner Found. May we come in?” They look vaguely familiar to Patrick. That’s right! We’re watching Lost & Found starring the one and only David Spade. I didn’t even really know that this film existed until I was searching for a poorly reviewed Martin Sheen film and this seemed to fit the bill. And lest you get concerned that it wasn’t a real movie it got released to 2500 theaters and still has the 46th worst opening for a wide release film of all time. Probably because it was released at the same time as The Matrix… otherwise I’m sure it would have made mad bank.

Meanwhile, Jamie is back in the wasteland of the BMTverse. Better start his walk to New Angeles. In the distance a plume of dust rises and a bunch of rollerbladers approach. “Finally,” Jamie thinks, “some people a rad as I am instead of that dumb Patrick and his dumb scripts. Maybe they can help me find this tournament.” But as they approach they seem to morph into one dark figure… and the air around Jamie turns cold. That’s right! We’re watching the Joe Estevez vehicle Soultaker. We picked this mostly because it actually stars Estevez, rather than just featuring him, and seemed ridiculous, without us realizing it was a MST3K film from season 10. Apparently a well regarded episode, so something to watch in conjunction with the film.

Lost & Found (1999) – BMeTric: 41.8 

LostFoundIMDb_BMeT

LostFoundIMDb_RV

(Pretty stable. Seems like a genuine bad film, which everyone agrees is bad, and it only doesn’t cross the 50 mark because no one bothers to watch it. Just wait for the Bad Movie Twins bump!)

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars – Spade plots to win his beautiful new neighbor’s affections while they search for her missing dog – which he has kidnapped. Crude, offensive, unoriginal, often painful to watch; only redeeming feature is the engaging Marceau. Fundamental error: her “slimy” ex-boyfriend is more likeable than the leading man. Spade also takes credit as cowriter. 

(Judging by the preview I find it hard to believe the boyfriend is more likeable. Crude and offensive is better than boring and unfunny. As a matter of fact, Maltin doesn’t really say it isn’t funny. It probably isn’t, but that is maybe a promising sign.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUNgL4jTPeQ/

(That music! That voiceover! I remember the “you couldn’t raise my shorts with a crane” joke … otherwise I literally don’t remember anything about this film. Looks dumb.)

Directors – Jeff Pollack – (Known For: Above the Rim; Future BMT: Booty Call; BMT: Lost & Found; Notes: I think he was a music video director, and then ended up producing and writing Fresh Prince. His directorial efforts all seem somewhat out of nowhere to be honest.)

Writers – J.B. Cook (written by) – (BMT: Lost & Found; Notes: Not much about him, except he then went on to write / produce mostly cartoons including Kind of the Hill.)

Marc Meeks (written by) – (BMT: Lost & Found; Notes: Almost all of his credits are for Location Management, which he now does for Netflix. If I were to guess I think he was likely in the general Sandler / Happy Madison production team, but never really got credits. He did other management stuff, and then got hired on in a more official capacity at Netflix after Sandler’s deal. Again, entirely a guess.)

David Spade (written by) – (Future BMT: Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; Joe Dirt; BMT: Lost & Found; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actress for Jack and Jill in 2012; Notes: Became famous alongside Chris Farley and Adam Sandler on SNL in the early 90s. Ended up starring in a series of buddy comedies with Farley prior to his death.)

Actors – David Spade – (Known For: Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation; The Emperor’s New Groove; Hotel Transylvania; Reality Bites; Tommy Boy; Hotel Transylvania 2; A Very Brady Sequel; Politically Correct Party Animals; Beavis and Butt-Head Do America; The Rugrats Movie; Light Sleeper; Future BMT: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol; Coneheads; Loser; Sandy Wexler; Racing Stripes; Father of the Year; The Do-Over; Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star; 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag; Joe Dirt; Senseless; Black Sheep; Entourage; BMT: Jack and Jill; The Ridiculous 6; Grown Ups 2; The Benchwarmers; Lost & Found; Grown Ups; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actress for Jack and Jill in 2012; Notes: His older brother was the husband of the designer Kate Spade who passed away in 2018.)

Sophie Marceau – (Known For: Braveheart; The World Is Not Enough; A Midsummer Night’s Dream; Al di là delle nuvole; Female Agents; Un bonheur n’arrive jamais seul; Firelight; Future BMT: Ne te retourne pas; Anna Karenina; BMT: Lost & Found; Alex & Emma; Notes: A very famous French Actress she’s been attached, but never married to a series of equally famous French directors / producers / actors including Christopher Lambert for 7 years.)

Ever Carradine – (Known For: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; Dead & Breakfast; Future BMT: My Boss’s Daughter; Bubble Boy; Foxfire; Safelight; Constellation; BMT: Lost & Found; Notes: Daughter of Robert Carradine and married to Coby Brown who is a film composer.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $6,552,255

(Absolutely brutal. A top fifty worst wide openings ever, plausibly because they thought it could perform like There’s Something About Mary … but it didn’t.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 13% (7/52): Aside from a few laughs, everything else is entirely predictable, including the jokes.

(Predictable and not funny … great. Reviewer Highlight: A rancid little nothing of a movie! – Stephen Holden, New York Times)

Poster – Sklog-st & Found (F)

lost_and_found

(Oh boy… I’m trying to imagine seeing that in a theater. It’s like an anti-advertisement. Look at all that empty space? And no color scheme. And terrible font. And not even clear it’s telling me anything about the film. It’s simply awful.)

Tagline(s) – A comedy about a guy who would do anything to get the girl of his dreams – and did! (F)

One of these dogs must be Spade. (either an A+ or an F)

(The first is stupid and a bit embarrassing. The second is one that I’ll hold close to my heart for all eternity. It’s off the chains in both a supremely terrible and kinda good way. It’s like the BMT of taglines. So bad that it’s great.)

Keyword(s) – dognapping; Top Ten by BMeTric: 64.4 102 Dalmatians (2000); 46.4 Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017); 45.8 Beethoven (1992); 43.5 101 Dalmatians (1996); 41.8 Lost & Found (I) (1999); 33.3 Good Boy! (2003); 28.4 Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco (1996); 21.2 Our Idiot Brother (2011); 16.9 Wrong (I) (2012); 14.8 Ingrid Goes West (2017);

(Wowza, likely our first dognapping film I guess. Those top four qualify from a quality perspective, although it is a bit unclear if Once Upon a Time in Venice was actually released to theaters. I don’t think it was.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: David Spade is No. 1 billed in Lost & Found and No. 4 billed in Grown Ups, which also stars Adam Sandler (No. 1 billed) who is in Jack and Jill (No. 1 billed), which also stars Al Pacino (No. 3 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed), which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => 1 + 4 + 1 + 1 + 3 + 1 + 3 + 1 = 15. If we were to watch Senseless, and Wicker Park we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – The part of Wally Slack was originally written for Chris Farley. After his death, it went to Artie Lange. (Makes sense)

Daylight Recap

Jamie

Kit Latura is a disgraced badass ready to make everyone regret doubting him. When the Holland Tunnel collapses it’s up to him to save the remaining survivors. He totes goes in there and leads them like the leader that he is. Can he save them all (and perhaps get the girl) before it’s too late? Find out in… Daylight.

How?! Act I: Our main players all converge on the Holland Tunnel, where a truck filled with toxic waste (obviously) explodes when a car filled with highly flammable jewel thieves crashes into it. In an absolutely wild coincidence the former head of the EMS, Kit Latura, is driving a cab just outside the tunnel. He volunteers to head in on a rescue mission to save them all with his big muscles. Meanwhile we are introduced to the only survivors in the tunnel… which are honestly mostly criminals and cheats. Act II: Sly enters the tunnel ready to rock-and-roll. Unfortunately he enters through the ventilation system that is only a one-way entrance. Realizing that he needs to strengthen their position he decides to collapse part of the tunnel with explosives. Who does he ask for help? The pretty playwright, Maddy, of course. The biggest question here is whether Maddy is actually his love interest. She is a beautiful thirty-something, he looks like he’s been carved from an old tree. I was getting some serious father-daughter vibes, but not sure that’s what they were going for. Anyway, he blows the tunnel, but soon realizes that their position is even more vulnerable when water starts to flood and they hear the rescue workers trying to break into the tunnel (which would kill them). Attempting to find a way out, Kit leads the group to long unused areas of the tunnel (with only minimal fatalities). Finding a way out he forces the group to go to safety, while him and Maddy are stranded in the tunnel. Act III: We end with Kit and Maddy deciding that they have to try everything to survive. They decide to use the remaining explosives to blow out the tunnel and have the pressure hopefully push them to the surface of the river. This, of course, works because it’s a movie. Kit and Maddy still don’t kiss because everyone probably realized it would be weird. THE END. 

Why?! Weirdly, atonement. The backstory for Kit is that he’s been disgraced and forced to become a taxi driver because he got rescue workers killed while trying to save people. You get the sense that by voluntarily going back in he is trying to save those lives to make up for his perceived failure. Perhaps he even would have sacrificed himself for this atonement if Maddy hadn’t been there to force him to take one last drastic action. As for the main antagonist, The Tunnel, well it just wants to be a tunnel. Usually that’s not too much to ask.

Who?! For the first time ever I think I’m going to call a Nepotism Alert! Sage Stallone, Sly’s son, actually has a fairly prominent role as Vincent, one of the juvenile delinquents. Much like Kevin Costner’s daughter in The Postman I actually think he was pretty good though. I really think if I didn’t know he was Sly’s son then I would have just been like “he’s actually an OK actor.”

What?! I feel like I’ve mentioned this before, but there is a very special product placement associated with this film. It’s Sly Stallone’s Panerai watch that he wears and subsequently became associated with a number of action stars. They are big and bulky and designed for use in submarines, but Sly Stallone took one look at it in Italy and, “immediately knew it had star power.” That’s real. That’s a quote. He thought the watch was good character development and insisted his character wear one. I mean… that’s just good writing.

Where?! Very very very good NYC film. The Holland Tunnel itself is more or less a role in the film. We even get some history lessons about the construction of the tunnel and very intricate geography of exactly how it’s laid out. A all the way.

When?! I went back through it and confirmed that indeed they don’t make specific mention of when this takes place. We see some spotty snow on the ground and one character is seen contemplating whether to buy a Super Bowl ad for his company, so it’s clearly winter before the big game. I also think post-Christmas because otherwise we’d probably have a character be like “this is the worst Christmas ever,” or something. So January? D+ I think… I have to look back on my grading rubric.

This film really harkened back to an older time in action films. It felt very Towering Inferno or Poseidon Adventure. There isn’t some major terrorist plot or millions of dollars at stake. Just a few survivors of a major disaster hoping to get saved by the ultimate badass with a heart of gold. Despite being a major film it felt very small, and that was both good and bad. It was good in that the plot didn’t seem contrived and there wasn’t some silly MacGuffin to laugh at, but also bad because at times it almost seemed meandering. The survivor’s plight in the tunnel seemed so hopeless that they were just screaming “we’re going to die! What are we going to do?!” and Sly would kinda just shrug and wait it out. It’s almost like they were writing the film as they were making it… and Sly seriously didn’t know what they were going to do. Other than obviously he shouldn’t panic because he forced a rewrite where his character would survive. Overall it’s an entertaining film, but just fine otherwise. As for Roller Blade Seven, I was surprised by the coherency. It wasn’t as totally off-the-rails as I expected given the IMDb score. It did feel like there was a vision there… at least from a filmmaking perspective and not necessarily from a storytelling perspective. Like there were some Crank-type roller blade handheld camera stuff going on and the random cuts and repeats of scenes that people make fun of did seem purposeful. Like I think he was trying to say something about time and memory as part of the Zen Filmmaking idea that he espouses. So, dare I say it, I think Roller Blade Seven is maybe underrated? Is that right? That can’t be right… Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! I swear to God I’ve seen this movie before … or at least I’ve seen the ending of this film a few dozen times on TNT. Either way, let’s get into it!

P’s View on the Preview – Last year, after finding Skyscraper absolutely insufferable, I watched Towering Inferno a few days afterwards. Disaster films from various decades are interesting, and the 90s was mostly aliens, and comets, and real large scale stuff. This was pleasantly small scale. So I was excited to see just how it compared to the various other disaster films I’ve seen in my life. What was I expecting? I was expecting a terrible acting performance from Stallone, melodrama, and for this ragtag team of misfits to go out there and beat the Holland Tunnels, yeah! The sports analogy works.

The Good – This is bar none one of the best plane movies I’ve ever watched, breezes by with no gore or nudity to embarrass you in front of nosey neighbors. Ideal. The set is incredibly impressive, and the tension is ratcheted up to 11 because they actually give a decently plausible series of minor disasters for Stallone to individually tackle to save everyone. The film was decently paced because of this. This is a very old school film, with the various characters all getting their little introduction, and you learn about them, and care for them, and in the end you’re like: “You did good kid” and you wink at Stallone, who gives you a thumbs up and everything and it is awesome, you know?

The Bad – The acting was quite bad top to bottom. This is one year prior to Stallone earning a bit of redemption for Cop Land, and you kind of see the humble, sheepish, reluctant hero in the making here as well. Almost like he was insisting that the brash 80s action hero brand was ovah baby and had already started to twist it back around … I think it is merely embarrassing here as it is clear Stallone is the only competent person in the movie and his fake humility probably got a bunch of people killed. Anyways, the storyline of the tunnel and the gigantic coincidences that put Stallone in the position to be this reluctant hero are a bit too much such that it sinks the first act. The second act is weighed down by the realization that most of the people in the tunnel are garbage people and you kind of don’t care if they live or die. And the third act is an implausible ‘splosion … when you put it that way this film really doesn’t have much going for it. Whatever it is entertaining as hell I think.

The BMT – For the set piece alone I would give it to it. As I said, I’ve watched a bunch of disaster films in my life and this lies closer to the Poseidon Adventure area. The reluctant hero saves a small group of people, some of whom die one by one (mostly the nice ones), etc. They naturally pulled the punch and had Stallone live. This is in stark contrast to the real old school flicks like Towering Inferno or Avalanche which both reveled in showing you the various ways all of the good and bad people could die (god is dead, amirite?). And also contrasts with Skyscraper is on the other end with The Rock deploying death to only those he deems the baddies with tactical efficiency leaving every good person alive and well. This is a nice (and kind of rare I think) 90s disaster film that operates on the small scale. Plus Stallone, so like … yeah, its BMT. Did it meet my expectations? Only partially. As I said the film was entertaining as hell so that makes it tough to really crap on. But also they kill off too many of the good guys on Team Stallone for my liking. The score was like what? Team Stallone 9, Holland Tunnels 4 or something? It was a lot closer than you like to see I think.

Roast-radamus – I wish there was something for the Matthew Lillard Most Sidekick-est Character award or something for Amy Brenneman, but alas. I do like the very specific Holland Tunnel as a Setting as a Character (Where?). Other than that … there isn’t much of a twist unless you could the deus ex blow-out-ea to save Stallone and Brenneman. So that really is it. I don’t think it gets a Good, Bad, or BMT nod.

StreetCreditReport.com – Amazingly it juuuuust narrowly gets onto this disaster film list by Newsweek tied for 49th out of 50. It gets a pretty decent 23rd best Stallone film list from Men’s Health. Otherwise it could get what? Worst film set in a tunnel I think for sure. I could definitely be on a list of worst 90s disaster films, although I think it might get beaten out by a few of the crazier late 90s ones (Godzilla comes to mind), and also some real crap ones (Firestorm comes to mind). Even Volcano … whatever, it would get top ten for sure.

Bring a Friend Analysis – As the first installment of the Sibling Rivalry Bring a Friend we chose Roller Blade Seven. I’m not actually sure what put this film on my radar besides that fact that it stars both Frank Stallone and Joe Estevez and thus seemed to have super sibling powers of some kind. Written and directed by Donald G. Jackson and co-written with Scott Shaw (who both also starred in the film), it comes across as part micro-budget 80s sci-fi dystopian crazy film, and part art film. Using a style he dubs zen filmmaking (see above), Jackson creates a dream-like atmosphere by replaying some clips over and over, especially during fight scenes. Starring C/Z-list actors, plus a few famous cult film stars, it comes across a lot like what I imagine Manos Hands of Fate wanted to be. While Manos was made on a bet, the intention was to partially buck the Hollywood system and show that a man with a plan and a camera could make a movie. Unlike Manos Jackson actually succeeded in breaking into Hollywood and cultivates a following with his most successful venture Hell Comes to Frogtown. It is hard to even describe what I think of this film. I think it is terribly made, terribly acted, nonsensical, and aggravating. But at the same time I find something very alluring about zen filmmaking. Something about this film makes me think I’ll watch more Donald G. Jackson in my life, and something about the film tells me that is necessary to really understand the weirdness that was 80s/90s off-Hollywood productions. As a friend I give it an A for being thought provoking. But I have to say, I’m glad we didn’t watch Rollergator this week, as that would have been too much Donald G. Jackson too quickly.

You Just Got Schooled – Without a logical choice for learning in Daylight, I decided to watch this documentary about The Roller Blade Seven (and its sequel). You can get the gist of this bizarre documentary and Zen Filmmaking as a whole in the first five minutes, it is pretty much explained in the opening crawl and the whole thing is boring and awful. Some other interesting bits: The film was entirely filmed at Golden Hour, which means it took a lot longer to finish that I would have thought at first glance. The roller cam is pretty funny and works well for the film as a whole. In a different universe these guys are genuinely funny guys making an interesting art film, but with the early-90s Hollywood quality it is just … a bit sad? The dog collar, the outfits they are wearing, the fake reporters, the chosen location. The experience of watching this “film” is very much like the tuxedo scene in Step Brothers: “Oh I get it, it’s ironic, that’s funny, that’s cool, I’m into it, let’s do this … [watches the filmmaking documentary] Oh … nope, now this all seems pretty fucked up to be honest.” … I think it now gets a B as a friend.

Phew, what a combo! Already loving this cycle. Cheerios,

The Sklogs