Preview – Page 4 – Bad Movie Twins

Soul Man Preview

Jamie runs out of the restaurant in pursuit of Samantha. But Patrick doesn’t think it was the horror franchise part of the speech that had such an affect on her. It seemed to him that her face changed a little before that. How could his Keys to Love have missed so badly that the mere mention of something destroyed everything? Was there some flaw in the four keys that he hadn’t foreseen? Patrick counts on his fingers real quick. 1. The eyes are the windows to the soul (A.K.A. stylez=smilez). 2. Get all the feels (A.K.A. only the firmest handshake) 3. A rose by any other smell (A.K.A. cologne for days) 4. Putting (meats and cheeses) on the Ritz (cracker) (A.K.A. a very 2003 Celtics themed dinner). That seemed like everything… what could he be missing? Suddenly he becomes aware that Kyle is saying something. Despite the high likelihood this is about mannequins or is largely irrelevant, Patrick stops Kyle just in case. But as he’s about to let him know that he was not listening to whatever mannequin mambo jumbo he was going on about, his mouth goes dry. “I wasn’t listening,” he mutters. Kyle is hurt. He was very proud of his latest advancement in mannequin technology and while perhaps this wasn’t the most opportune moment to discuss it, it was still important to him. “Of course you weren’t,” he scoffs, “You guys never listen.” Suddenly the same thought Patrick had dawns on him. “My God, we have been missing a vital fifth lesson this whole time,” Patrick says, writing furiously in his notebook. Kyle and him rush out to catch Jamie to warn him about “Lesson #5: The ears are also the windows to the soul, man.” That’s right! We are watching Soul Man, the 80’s comedy about a guy who puts on black face to get a scholarship to Harvard… wait, that can’t be right. No, not the plot. I know that’s the plot of the film. It just can’t be right that we’re watching it. To pair with that we are blessedly cleansing the palate with Meatballs III: Summer Job, also known as a VHS special. Let’s go!

Soul Man (1986) – BMeTric: 41.1; Notability: 38

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.4%; Notability: top 9.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.1%; Higher BMeT: Howard the Duck, Troll, King Kong Lives, Police Academy 3: Back in Training, Maximum Overdrive, Solarbabies, Raw Deal, Sorority House Massacre, Firewalker, Club Paradise, Iron Eagle; Higher Notability: Howard the Duck, Poltergeist II: The Other Side, The Golden Child, Jumpin’ Jack Flash, Invaders from Mars, A Fine Mess, Ratboy, Solarbabies, Raw Deal, Police Academy 3: Back in Training, Club Paradise, Armed and Dangerous, The Clan of the Cave Bear, Cobra, Iron Eagle, Wildcats, No Mercy, Blue City, The Best of Times, The Delta Force, and 3 more; Lower RT: 8 Million Ways to Die, Solarbabies, Sorority House Massacre, Band of the Hand, Deadtime Stories, American Anthem, Blue City, Nobody’s Fool, Firewalker, King Kong Lives, Armed and Dangerous, Haunted Honeymoon, TerrorVision, The Clan of the Cave Bear, Dangerously Close, Club Paradise, Quicksilver, Howard the Duck, Maximum Overdrive, Tai-Pan, and 1 more; Notes: It is profoundly disturbing that this film played on television 59 times in the 90s … but it does explain why I’ve seen it several times. King Kong Lives played 30 times, which seems insane. Again, 7 out of the top 10 BMeT, but we have seen the top 7, so that’s something. Meatballs III on the other hand? An astonishing 14 times on cable. Incredible stuff.

Roger Ebert – 1 star – Although the premise of “Soul Man” has been greeted with widespread derision, it actually has a lot of potential – even if it has been made into a lame-brained movie. … Howell seems to have wandered in from a teen comedy; there is never a moment when I felt he was really experiencing the feelings in this movie. Not even when he gets to feeling so black that he tosses around a symbolic basketball and confesses he doesn’t like the Beach Boys so much anymore.

(Kind of amazingly tepid review for a one star. I do understand the sentiment though. Howell is the weakest link in the film, it is very hard to feel like he’s changed in an appreciable way. Just watch the “trial” scene!)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2zMrjBLwn8/

(Should I make that beginning a gif so like when I’m super happy about something? Naw, I don’t want to send people a gif of half naked C. Thomas Howell. His terrible wig is INSANE. I can’t believe we are watching this.)

Directors – Steve Miner – ( Known For: Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Lake Placid; Forever Young; House; Warlock; Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken; Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous; Here Come the Tigers; Future BMT: My Father the Hero; Big Bully; BMT: Friday the 13th Part 2; Friday the 13th: Part 3; Soul Man; Texas Rangers; Notes: The only person to have filmed two Friday the 13th films. Also nominated 2 Primetime Emmys for directing and producing The Wonder Years.)

Writers – Carol Black – ( BMT: Soul Man; Notes: I guess not surprisingly was also involved in The Wonder Years. She won for it in 1988 just prior to Miner coming on.)

Actors – C. Thomas Howell – ( Known For: The Amazing Spider-Man; E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial; The Outsiders; Hidalgo; Red Dawn; The Hitcher; Old Dads; Gettysburg; Woodlawn; LBJ; The Return of the Musketeers; Hitman’s Run; That Night; Side Out; Grandview, U.S.A.; Attack of the Killer Donuts; The Hillside Strangler; Storm Rider; Hoboken Hollow; Far Out Man; Future BMT: Secret Admirer; Reagan; Tank; BMT: Gods and Generals; Soul Man; Notes: It is absolutely no surprise he was in Reagan. He actually got married to Rae Dawn Chong in real life, although it didn’t last very long.)

Rae Dawn Chong – ( Known For: Commando; The Color Purple; Jeff, Who Lives at Home; Quest for Fire; Tales from the Darkside: The Movie; Crying Freeman; The Principal; American Flyers; Fear City; Cheech & Chong’s: The Corsican Brothers; Beat Street; Choose Me; The Borrower; City Limits; Far Out Man; When the Party’s Over; Shiver; Time Runner; Cyrus; Highball; Future BMT: Hideaway; The Squeeze; BMT: Soul Man; Notes: Tommy Chong’s daughter. Apparently discovered Chris Pratt while he was a waiter.)

Arye Gross – ( Known For: Minority Report; Tequila Sunrise; Just One of the Guys; A Midnight Clear; For the Boys; Mother Night; Big Eden; Exterminator 2; The Experts; Coupe de Ville; Seven Girlfriends; Nostalgia; Timelock; Spoiler; Big City Blues; The Prince and the Surfer; The Elevator; Shaking the Tree; A Matter of Degrees; Future BMT: House II: The Second Story; The Couch Trip; Hexed; The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them; BMT: Gone in 60 Seconds; Soul Man; Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike; Notes: This is maybe the craziest trivia I’ve ever seen on IMDb: Provided the voice of Lando Calrissian in the NPR version of The Return of the Jedi.)

Budget/Gross – $4.5 million / Domestic: $27,820,000 (Worldwide: $27,820,000)

(This is a huge success. Jesus, what would the sequel be … I think it would be that he’s now a judge and he is getting groomed to sit on the Supreme Court, but then he hears that actually the President is only considering a woman for the opening. Well that gives him an idea …)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (4/24): Critics had a whole lot less than a truckload of good loving for this woefully misguided take on race in ’80s America.

(What the hell is Rotten Tomatoes doing with the recap? That is a bizarre consensus. It barely makes sense.)

NYTimes Description: Steve Miner’s fast comedy about a young white man masquerading as a black student in order to get a scholarship to Harvard.

Poster – Sklog Man

(Christ. I mean sure. That entirely avoids the conceit of the film… probably should have taken that as a sign that they were not on the right track.Still, I like the framing and the font OK. C.)

Tagline(s) – Guess who’s coming to college? (D)

(C. Thomas Howell? Yeah, what’s the big whoop? Horrible.)

Keyword(s) – 1983-1991

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Back to the Future (1985), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), Die Hard (1988), The Terminator (1984), Scarface (1983), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Future BMT: 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.8 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 61.1 Staying Alive (1983), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 58.2 Amityville 3-D (1983), 57.7 The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990), 57.5 Ghost Dad (1990), 56.7 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.1 Rocky V (1990), 54.7 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 53.5 Graffiti Bridge (1990), 52.4 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.4 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.3 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.2 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)

BMT: Jaws: The Revenge (1987), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Jaws 3-D (1983), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Going Overboard (1989), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989), Mac and Me (1988), Caddyshack II (1988), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), Howard the Duck (1986), Supergirl (1984), Cool as Ice (1991), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987), Leonard Part 6 (1987), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Superman III (1983), Poltergeist III (1988), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987), Wild Orchid (1989), …

Best Options (Comedy): 72.7 Look Who’s Talking Too (1990), 72.5 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 67.8 Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 (1983), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 57.5 Ghost Dad (1990), 54.7 Curse of the Pink Panther (1983), 52.4 Johnny Be Good (1988), 52.4 Porky’s II: The Next Day (1983), 52.3 Porky’s Revenge (1985), 52.2 Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987), 51.8 Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986), 49.2 King Solomon’s Mines (1985), 48.6 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.2 Big Top Pee-wee (1988), 47.2 Transylvania 6-5000 (1985), 44.8 King Ralph (1991), 43.7 Firewalker (1986), 43.6 Young Einstein (1988), 43.3 Deal of the Century (1983), 42.3 Shocker (1989), 42.0 Club Paradise (1986), 41.9 House II: The Second Story (1987), 41.8 Pink Cadillac (1989), 41.6 Loose Cannons (1990), 41.3 Speed Zone (1989), 41.0 Soul Man (1986), …

(Teen Wolf Too would have been a good choice. But man, we really couldn’t leave Soul Man on the table. It is just so nuts.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 21) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: C. Thomas Howell is No. 1 billed in Soul Man and No. 5 billed in Gods and Generals, which also stars Robert Duvall (No. 3 billed) who is in Days of Thunder (No. 2 billed) which also stars Michael Rooker (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 4 billed) => (1 + 5) + (3 + 2) + (6 + 4) = 21. If we were to watch The Squeeze, One Good Cop, and Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – C. Thomas Howell had to wear colored contacts when his skin was toned to look black. His eyes are normally a goldish color and really stood out once his skin was darkened.

C. Thomas Howell’s father, Chris Howell, did the stunts for this movie.

C. Thomas Howell and Rae Dawn Chong met on the set of this film, married, and later divorced.

Tim Robbins was cast in the lead, but dropped out when the filming of Howard the Duck (1986) went over schedule.

The house where Mark has dinner with the Dunbars was a set that was later donated to the California Institute of the Arts and is used by students for filming.

Child’s Play 3 Preview

A column of flame wooshes to the ceiling as Patrick and Kyle put their finishing touches on the 1997’s Spawn themed dinner that has left both Jamie and Samantha laughing and applauding and making out with glee. From the Pie-olators savory pie medley to the Michael Chai & White chocolate fondue, it all delighted, but nothing more so than Hell on Earth: the record-setting banana flambé. After finishing thanking the representative from the Guiness Book of World Records who had confirmed that not only was this the largest banana flambé of all time, but also the most delicious, Patrick turns back to Jamie and Samantha. He takes a step back in shock when he sees that Jamie is down on one knee. His keys to love really worked! “Samantha,” Jamie begins, “I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but I feel like we’ve already had our love tested. I haven’t always been perfect. Scott Bakula didn’t deserve to have his head fly off at his funeral. Patrick and Kyle didn’t deserve to have me become a mud baby in the face of losing my hearing. Through all that you still loved me and I didn’t deserve that.” Samantha tries to interrupt, but Jamie stops her. “No, you’re right. There is no deserving here. It is just the fact that through your love I found the strength of my own love for you.” There isn’t a dry eye in the house as Jamie launches the last bit of his speech. “I want to carve our names on the Wall of Lovers in your hometown. You are the Jason to my Friday the 13th. The Chucky to my…” But before he can finish Samantha rushes out of the restaurant in tears. Jamie is stupefied. “I didn’t mean she’s a monster.” That’s right! We are heading into one of the classics of the horror genre with Child’s Play 3. Chucky’s back, Jack! And why not pair that with an equally important third entrant in a trilogy: Critters 3. This time it’s personal or something. Let’s go!

Child’s Play 3 (1991) – BMeTric: 58.2; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.4%; Notability: top 10.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 9.7%; Higher BMeT: Highlander II: The Quickening, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, Cool as Ice, Critters 3, Problem Child 2, Suburban Commando; Higher Notability: Hook, Hudson Hawk, Flight of the Intruder, Mobsters, Necessary Roughness, Switch, Life Stinks, Out for Justice, F/X2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, Rock-A-Doodle, The Marrying Man, Rover Dangerfield, Married to It, Dutch, Oscar, King Ralph, Highlander II: The Quickening, Billy Bathgate, If Looks Could Kill, and 5 more; Lower RT: Highlander II: The Quickening, Return to the Blue Lagoon, Critters 3, The Super, Run, Cool as Ice, Another You, All I Want for Christmas, Problem Child 2, Mobsters, The Marrying Man, Strictly Business, Drop Dead Fred, Oscar, The Hitman, Mannequin: On the Move, Curly Sue, One Good Cop, Nothing But Trouble, Suburban Commando, and 3 more; Notes: Played 46 times on cable in the 90s. Compared to Critters 3 (4 times) that ain’t bad. It was about the same for Highlander II, but the rest are more spotty. With these two we only have Suburban Commando in the top 7 BMeT for 1991.

New York Times – The most intriguing part of the film is the lifelike way Chucky walks, talks and slashes. He is actually played by several mechanical dolls and is an impressive technological achievement. But advancing the state of technology is probably not what the makers of “Child’s Play 3” had in mind.

(Slammed … but also the truth. The impressive bit of the films are how they mix and match the different tech with the doll. Compare this to the Leprechaun series where it is just Warwick Davis in a suit all the time forever.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3No1jTRSvg8/

(Hell on earth? Lol. Oh shit that is Odo from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I kind of love this trailer. The movie looks like shit, but I love the twist in the middle where it is like wait … what is this movie about. And then Chucky pops up.)

Directors – Jack Bender – ( BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: He won an Emmy as a producer for Lost, and was nominated a bunch of times for directing that series as well. He is mostly a television director, including Game of Thrones and Mr. Mercedes more recently.)

Writers – Don Mancini – ( Known For: Child’s Play; Bride of Chucky; Child’s Play 2; Child’s Play; Curse of Chucky; Cult of Chucky; Cellar Dweller; Future BMT: Seed of Chucky; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: One of the reasons this series plays so well with hardcore fans is mainly because Mancini has been heavily involved throughout the series. After the third the series, successfully, went full horror-comedy with the Jennifer Tilly character.)

Actors – Justin Whalin – ( Known For: The Dead Pool; Serial Mom; Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion; For the Cause; Blood of Beasts; White Wolves II: Legend of the Wild; Denial; Off the Ledge; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Dungeons & Dragons; Notes: Dungeons & Dragons is the big one, one of his rare leading roles. He seems to have at least semi-retired in 2009.)

Perrey Reeves – ( Known For: Mr. & Mrs. Smith; Old School; Plus One; Kicking and Screaming; Cosmic Sin; Smoke Signals; The Suburbans; An American Affair; Innocence; High Voltage; Future BMT: Entourage; American Dreamz; Undiscovered; BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: Oh right, ha, she’s Frank’s wife in Old School. But probably more famously she appeared in Entourage a ton as Ari’s wife.)

Jeremy Sylvers – ( BMT: Child’s Play 3; Notes: This is really it for him. He was in an episode of Saved by the Bell, but apparently uncredited.)

Budget/Gross – $13 million / Domestic: $14,960,255 (Worldwide: $20,560,255)

(That feels disastrous. Which I guess explains why there was a 7 year hiatus between the third film and the resurrected comedy series it became.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 19% (3/16)

(If you look there is a mix of people basically being like “man, when they took this seriously the series sucked!” and people being like “man, when they took it seriously the series was awesome … well except for the third film I guess.” People universally hated it.)

New York Times Listing Description – Cute little killer doll had a certain wit. Now simply vile, bit like Jason, bit like early Terminator.

Poster – Voodoo Doll Curse 3: Still Cursed

(It is striking if a bit unimaginative. I like the font on the 3. I also remember these images really freaking me out as a kid in the video store. They’re pretty silly though. B.)

Tagline(s) – There comes a time to put away childhood things. But some things just won’t stay put! (C-)

Look who’s stalking (A)

(The first is clever but I don’t have to tell you it’s far too long. The second if quite funny. They nailed it with that one.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993), The Bone Collector (1999)

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 83.0 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.1 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.8 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.6 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.6 Jury Duty (1995), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.0 Holy Man (1998)

Best Options (1991-1991): 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 44.8 King Ralph (1991), 40.6 V.I. Warshawski (1991), 38.2 The Butcher’s Wife (1991), 37.9 House Party 2 (1991), 33.6 Career Opportunities (1991), 32.1 Curly Sue (1991), 31.9 Scenes from a Mall (1991), 31.6 Another You (1991), 31.3 Ernest Scared Stupid (1991), 30.5 Drop Dead Fred (1991), 29.7 Switch (1991), 28.9 He Said, She Said (1991), 28.9 Delirious (1991), 28.9 Eve of Destruction (1991), 28.5 Billy Bathgate (1991), 27.9 F/X2 (1991), 27.8 The Super (1991), 27.7 Life Stinks (1991), 27.6 Dying Young (1991), 27.2 Flight of the Intruder (1991), 27.2 If Looks Could Kill (1991), 27.1 Pure Luck (1991), 27.0 A Kiss Before Dying (1991), 26.8 Out for Justice (1991), 26.5 Mobsters (1991), 26.3 Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991), …

(Hell yeah, we nailed this one. And we smashed out four movies in a week. And that is in no way depressing. Suburban Commando is a blind spot though, we should watch that.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 18) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Brad Dourif is No. 2 billed in Child’s Play 3 and No. 6 billed in Senseless, which also stars Matthew Lillard (No. 3 billed) who is in Wicker Park (No. 3 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 6) + (3 + 3) + (1 + 3) = 18. If we were to watch Passenger 57, Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – Under pressure from Universal, screenwriter Don Mancini was asked to begin writing the third film even before the second film was released. Hence, this picture was released only nine months after Child’s Play 2 (1990). Mancini has called it his least favorite because he felt he was out of ideas so soon after the second installment.

This was the first film in the series to use computers to aid in Chucky’s puppetry – in order to perfect the lip-syncing.

The movie was the center of a tabloid panic in Great Britain, with one newspaper – The Sun – even demanding existing copies be burned. Journalists claimed the film had influenced two 10-year-old boys in their murder of a younger child, two-year-old James Bulger, although it was later determined that neither had actually seen this film.

John Ritter was originally supposed to appear as a security guard at the Good Guy Doll Factory in a sequence where some kids sneak into the factory and discuss the Chucky myth. Ritter later appeared in Bride of Chucky (1998) in a supporting role.

Don Mancini initially wanted to introduce the concept of “multiple Chuckys” in the movie but due to budget constraints, the idea was eventually scrapped. Mancini later used this concept 26 years later for Cult of Chucky (2017).

Spawn Preview

So despite his best efforts, Patrick avoided departing on an extended BMTverse adventure and yet still missed out on his real world adventure with Sly Stallone. “So he was here?” Patrick asks Kyle, who nods, the memory twinkling in his eye. “And you watched Cobra and Cobra 2: Crimedemic with him?” Kyle shakes his head and Patrick lets out a sigh of relief. That would have been too much for his heart to handle. “It was also Tango & Cash.” Patrick grasps for a nearby telephone pole to steady himself and instead finds himself grasping onto the rock hard bicep of Jamie. “We just wanted to come over and thank you,” Jamie says, cuddling up to Samantha. “That 2003 Celtics themed dinner consisting of PB&J sandwiches was exactly what I needed to tell Samantha how I truly feel.” When Jamie pauses to look over at Samantha, Patrick smiles a little. Maybe the four steps hadn’t been quite as easy as he had advertised, but the proof was in the pudding and that pudding was the love… true love… that he could now see shining in Jamie’s eyes. “But,” Jamie continues, “I was selfish in thinking only about myself when it came to this themed dinner. Perhaps not everyone wants a dinner themed entirely around the 2003 Boston Celtics.” Samantha squeezes his hand reassuringly, but Jamie presses on. “No, no I think we want another dinner and this time I want to make sure it’s something we both want.” Patrick is pleased. He starts to imagine what he could do culinarily around themes such as World Peace or A Summer Picnic. Even as his mind whirls around the many possibilities, Jamie and Samantha look at each other and simultaneously belt out the chosen theme: 1997’s Spawn. What thuuuuu… That’s right! We are watching Spawn. I remember watching this film when it came out and loving it. Thought it was hilarious. I was eleven. Nice. Less nice is we are pairing this with An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn as our Bring a Friend. One of the many films that makes you look at the Razzies and go “seriously?”. Let’s go!

Spawn (1997) – BMeTric: 60.1; Notability: 66

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.6%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.2%; Higher BMeT: Batman & Robin, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Home Alone 3, Steel, Mr. Magoo, Double Team, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Chairman of the Board; Higher Notability: Batman & Robin, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Saint, Dante’s Peak, The Jackal, The Relic, The Postman, Flubber; Lower RT: Plump Fiction, The Peacekeeper, The Blackout, Fall, McHale’s Navy, Gone Fishin’, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, The Pest, ‘Til There Was You, An American Werewolf in Paris, Shadow Conspiracy, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Dangerous Ground, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Steel, Mr. Magoo, Keys to Tulsa, Double Team, Chairman of the Board, and 15 more; Notes: I’m quite surprised by Batman & Robin (56 times on cable) and Speed 2: Cruise Control (64 times on cable). It must have been around this time people realized you could make boatloads putting relatively bad movies on cable a ton. Six of nine for the higher BMeT films, so this makes 7 of the top 10. The other three are, not surprisingly, the three kids’ films.

RogerEbert.com – 3.5 stars – “Spawn” is best seen as an experimental art film. It walks and talks like a big budget horror film, heavy on special effects and pitched at the teenage audience, and maybe that’s how it will be received. But it’s more impressive if you ignore the genre and just look at what’s on the screen. What we have here are creators in several different areas doing their best to push the envelope. The subject is simply an excuse for their art–just as it always is with serious artists.

(Wow, incredible review. I don’t necessarily disagree only because McFarlane is all about pushing the envelope, so it makes sense in a way. I still think the movie is pretty dumb and the acting bad though.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AypOgfPJWDU/

(On the verge of creation? What does that mean? By the way, this trailer could not be darker. And at times there is a strange white box on top and bottom, and the entire thing is in 4:3? Something tells me this isn’t the official trailer. It really really sucks.)

Directors – Mark A.Z. Dippé – ( Known For: Marmaduke; The Reef 2: High Tide; The Boxcar Children; The Boxcar Children – Surprise Island; BMT: Spawn; Notes: He was mostly a visual effects artist. This was pretty much his first directed film.)

Writers – Todd McFarlane – ( Known For: Spider-Man 3; Venom: Let There Be Carnage; Venom: The Last Dance; Future BMT: Venom; BMT: Spawn; Notes: Won an Emmy for the animated HBO series of Spawn.)

Alan B. McElroy – ( Known For: Wrong Turn; Fractured; Wrong Turn; Tekken; Rapid Fire; Thr3e; Future BMT: The Perfect Guy; BMT: Spawn; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; The Marine; Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever; Left Behind: The Movie; Notes: Rapid Fire was a Brandon Lee film. We will obviously be watching The Crow this year since the bizarre remake is coming out.)

Mark A.Z. Dippé – ( Notes: This was his only real writing effort. He has something in development called Wicked City which sounds fake.)

Actors – Michael Jai White – ( Known For: The Dark Knight; Dragged Across Concrete; Black Dynamite; Blood and Bone; Freaky Deaky; 2 Days in the Valley; Why Did I Get Married?; Accident Man; Triple Threat; Falcon Rising; Skin Trade; Black Friday; Breakfast of Champions; Generation Iron; The Toxic Avenger Part II; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; City of Industry; Tactical Force; The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie; Vigilante Diaries; Future BMT: Why Did I Get Married Too?; Ringmaster; BMT: Universal Soldier; Spawn; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze; Exit Wounds; Universal Soldier: The Return; On Deadly Ground; Notes: Yeah, we’ve seem him in a lot of things. We even saw him in weird things like the Sudden Death sequel. Let’s plan on Ballistic at some point.)

John Leguizamo – ( Known For: John Wick; Ice Age; John Wick: Chapter 2; The Menu; Die Hard 2; Moulin Rouge!; Ice Age: The Meltdown; Encanto; Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs; The Lincoln Lawyer; Romeo + Juliet; Chef; Carlito’s Way; Doctor Dolittle; Violent Night; Land of the Dead; American Ultra; Assault on Precinct 13; The Infiltrator; Sisters; Future BMT: Kick-Ass 2; Ice Age: Continental Drift; The Counselor; Ice Age: Collision Course; The Fan; Out for Justice; Love in the Time of Cholera; Revenge; Miracle at St. Anna; What’s the Worst That Could Happen?; Playing with Fire; Walking with Dinosaurs 3D; The Pest; Empire; The Honeymooners; Whispers in the Dark; BMT: The Happening; Gamer; Ride Along; Repo Men; Righteous Kill; Collateral Damage; Spawn; Super Mario Bros.; One for the Money; Notes: Nominated for two and one one Emmy for his stand up special Freak. Then he’s been nominated for two recent miniseries in Waco and When They See Us. The Fan is probably the movie I’m most excited to eventually see by him.)

Martin Sheen – ( Known For: The Departed; Catch Me If You Can; Apocalypse Now; The Amazing Spider-Man; The Amazing Spider-Man 2; Gandhi; JFK; Wall Street; Seeking a Friend for the End of the World; Hot Shots! Part Deux; Selma; Judas and the Black Messiah; Badlands; The Dead Zone; Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping; The American President; Bobby; The Way; Gettysburg; The Double; Future BMT: Love Happens; The Believers; Hear No Evil; BMT: Spawn; Firestarter; Lost & Found; Notes: He was nominated for ten Emmys (and a few Daytime Emmys). He only won one, for a guest spot on Murphy Brown. The funniest cable movie I found was Boca which appears to be a dumb 9 1/2 Weeks knockoff.)

Budget/Gross – $40,000,000 / Domestic: $54,870,175 (Worldwide: $87,840,042)

(I mean, worldwide maybe, although given the year it probably didn’t do that well. Pretty close to breaking even, probably did on rental and home video in the end.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (8/47): Spawn is an overbearing, over-violent film that adds little to the comic book adaptation genre.

(Over violent is a bit weird I suppose. That does add something to the comic book adaptation genre. This was a fairly abnormal R-rated comic book movie.)

Reviewer Highlight: A moodily malevolent, anything-goes revenge fantasy that relies more upon special visual and digitally animated effects for its intended appeal than any comics-derived sci-fier to date. – Todd McCarthy, Variety

Poster – More like Yawn

(I’d have been excited for this film. It looks cool. Nice font. Overall it does the job and it does it efficiently. B+)

Tagline(s) – Born in darkness. Sworn to justice. (B)

(Sure. It’s not the most clever of taglines. I also quibble a little with it. I’m not a Spawn expert but I’m not sure I’d categorize his work (particularly in this film) as being “sworn to justice.” He’s still hellspawn, no? Anyway, this has some flow to it and is concise. Not bad even if possibly a bit inaccurate.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 83.0 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.1 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.8 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.6 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.6 Jury Duty (1995), 59.0 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 58.0 Holy Man (1998)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Wild Wild West (1999), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), Cool as Ice (1991), Wing Commander (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), On Deadly Ground (1994), Dudley Do-Right (1999), Double Team (1997), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), The Flintstones (1994), The Haunting (1999), Leprechaun (1993), Bats (1999), Fair Game (1995), Cool World (1992), North (1994), Body of Evidence (1993), Problem Child 2 (1991), …

Best Options (1997-1997): 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 57.6 An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), 57.6 Flubber (1997), 54.4 Gone Fishin’ (1997), 53.1 McHale’s Navy (1997), 52.4 The Pest (1997), 51.6 Kull the Conqueror (1997), …

(Obviously the best option from 1997. I wouldn’t have been opposed to something like The Pest though. That’s a weird as fuck movie too.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: John Leguizamo is No. 3 billed in Spawn and No. 4 billed in Righteous Kill, which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (3 + 4) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Martin Sheen agreed to star in this movie because he always wanted to star in a comic book movie. He later played another comic book role, Uncle Ben in The Amazing Spider-Man (2012).

John Leguizamo ate live waxworms on pizza for this film. He then vomited immediately after the take was wrapped.

Tim Burton was the original choice to direct.

Michael Jai White found Al Simmons’ character appealing; he described Spawn as “the most tragic character I’ve encountered in any cinematic production.” He says it was a challenge to make audiences sympathize with a government assassin who comes back from hell. White had to endure two to four hours of make-up work, including a full glued-on bodysuit, yellow contact lenses that irritated his eyes, and a mask that restricted his breathing. He said that his long-time experience with martial arts helped him endure the uncomfortable prosthetics, giving him “strong will and unbreakable concentration.”

Michael Jai White was actually set on fire for one scene.

Major League: Back to the Minors Preview

Patrick scans the crowd of BMTverse denizens that surrounded him in The Waste, all ready to send him on whatever ludicrous adventure they had in mind. Stonewall Jackson? Nah. Pistachio Disguisey? Definitely not. The Punisher? He shakes his head. Suddenly, far in the back he finds what he’s looking for. “You!” Patrick yells, pointing at Freddie Prinze Jr. “Which one are you?” he asks seriously. “My name’s Ryan Dunne and I seem to have lost my stuff. If you could just…’ At this point Patrick cuts him off. “Great, perfect. You got your glove and a ball? Great, nice.” He moves people out of the way and stands approximately 60 feet from FPJ. “The best way to get back your stuff is to believe in yourself. It’s been inside you the whole time, etc. etc.” At that, Patrick bends over, still looking at FPJ. “Now show me what you got,” Patrick says, waggling his head at the ready for a fastball directly to his dome. FPJ shrugs his shoulders and despite some questionable mechanics delivers a strike that knocks Patrick on his ass.

Patrick awakens and as his vision clears he’s shocked to see the marquee of the wildlife theater come back into view. Cobra is now properly playing, but that’s not the shocking part. Below that are the words “Cobra 2: Crimedemic, World Premier!” He turns to Kyle and asks whether he’s still dreaming. Kyle shakes his head and pats him on the back. “You were glorious,” he assures Patrick without elaborating on how exactly he helped make this a reality. The owner of the theater rushes up to him and pumps his hand enthusiastically. “We made it. My little theater has finally made the major leagues thanks to you and, of course, your best friend Sly Stallone.” That’s right! We are going back to back again, Jack. Major League is one of the best sports comedies of all time. Major League II is not. Major League: Back to the Minors is… also not. Let’s go!

Major League: Back to the Minors (1998) – BMeTric: 52.3; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 4.0%; Notability: top 14.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.4%; Higher BMeT: The Avengers, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, Species II, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, The Patriot, Lost in Space, Knock Off, Holy Man, Ringmaster, Godzilla; Higher Notability: Godzilla, Lost in Space, 54, Deep Rising, Soldier, Patch Adams, U.S. Marshals, Mercury Rising, Jack Frost, Great Expectations, Senseless, My Giant, Practical Magic, Mafia!, The Avengers, Species II, The Waterboy, The Replacement Killers, Phantoms, Wrongfully Accused, and 17 more; Lower RT: 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, A Murder of Crows, The Curve, Lulu on the Bridge, The Avengers, Almost Heroes, Tarzan and the Lost City, Senseless, Strangeland, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Species II, Phantoms, Knock Off, Woo, Meet the Deedles, A Night at the Roxbury, The Proposition, Firestorm, Holy Man, Hush, and 25 more; Notes: Played 23 times on cable in the 90s. Ridiculous. If you look at all of the higher BMeT films, that is actually quite high (tied with The Avengers for the most). We are also 12 of 15 for those films for BMT which is amazing. We really have crushed the late 90s. Holy Man is the big blind spot really, Ringmaster and the 3 Ninjas sequels are kind of not movies.

Variety – This third outing in the “Major League” series, which opened unceremoniously without press screenings, won’t set any box office records.

(My god! I wonder how many of the BMT films we’ve done didn’t do press screenings. That would be something that is probably impossible to figure out.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6-wczHGRHk/

(Jesus, the baseball trill at the beginning is so loud! I don’t get this film. Remember that film that you liked? And the sequel you … tolerated. This is a totally different team with all the most aggravating characters being the only ones we brought back.)

Directors – John Warren – ( BMT: Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Oh wow, he directed and wrote the very early Pauly Shore film The Curse of the Inferno. How wild. Played like 10 times on television too improbably.)

Writers – David S. Ward – ( Known For: The Sting; Sleepless in Seattle; Major League; The Program; The Milagro Beanfield War; Cannery Row; I’ll Find You; Steelyard Blues; Saving Grace; Future BMT: Flyboys; King Ralph; The Sting II; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: This would just be for the characters I imagine from the originals. The Program is a wild film which I will be watching soon. Remember all the controversy surrounding that? Read about it.)

John Warren – ( Known For: Naked in New York; Flashfire; Girl in the Cadillac; BMT: Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Flashfire starring Billy Zane with Harry. I genuinely kind of watch to watch it, it is probably terrible enough to be a friend.)

Actors – Scott Bakula – ( Known For: American Beauty; Source Code; The Informant!; Life as a House; Behind the Candelabra; Lord of Illusions; Cats Don’t Dance; Geography Club; My Family/Mi familia; Elsa & Fred; The Captains; Basmati Blues; Summertime; Me Him Her; Divinity; Enter the Dangerous Mind; A Passion to Kill; Future BMT: Necessary Roughness; Sibling Rivalry; BMT: Color of Night; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Nominated for five Emmys, four times for Quantum Leap, and for Behind the Candelabra. Again, I genuinely kind of want to watch A Passion to Kill, a weirdo obscure 90s thriller.)

Corbin Bernsen – ( Known For: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; Major League; The Big Year; King Kong; The Hating Game; Lay the Favorite; The Dentist; The Great White Hype; Tales from the Hood; S.O.B.; The Dentist 2; Suing the Devil; Clambake; Disorganized Crime; Dead Air; Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist; Sunrise in Heaven; Christian Mingle; Three the Hard Way; Roe v. Wade; Future BMT: Shattered; Radioland Murders; Hello Again; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: All of his future BMT are lame, but like … The Dentist series will have to be done in some capacity at some point. The Franchise Man demands it.)

Dennis Haysbert – ( Known For: Heat; Wreck-It Ralph; Kung Fu Panda 2; Ted 2; Jarhead; Sin City: A Dame to Kill For; Mr. Peabody & Sherman; Major League; Breach; Absolute Power; Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas; Far from Heaven; Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers; No Exit; Dear White People; Love & Basketball; Secret Obsession; Naked; Kodachrome; Experimenter; Future BMT: The Thirteenth Floor; Men, Women & Children; Think Like a Man Too; Playing with Fire; Mr. Baseball; Summer Camp; BMT: The Dark Tower; Fist Fight; Major League II; Random Hearts; Navy Seals; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: I’m surprised he wasn’t nominated even once for 24, the second season would have made a lot of sense. And wow, he was also in Mr. Baseball. So into baseball.)

Budget/Gross – $18 million / Domestic: $3,572,443 (Worldwide: $3,572,443)

(That is hilariously low, but not surprising. I remember renting this from All-Star Video. I suppose as a kid I watched the first two on television, and then this came out and I was like yes yes yes …. No! That’s my reaction when I watch it finally.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 22% (4/18)

(Wow, way higher than the second. Let’s see about a consensus: Dull and unwatchable. An ignominious end to an already dumb series.)

Reviewer Highlight: Yogi, it’s deja vu all over again.

Poster – Majorly Ugh: We’re Back, Jack!

(Honestly better than the second one. I’m not as embarrassed for this poster because they (rightfully) went back to the basics. That font on “Back to the Minors” though is unfortunate. I believe it is meant to convey that this isn’t your daddy’s Major League. C+)

Tagline(s) – They’re Just Nine Players Short of a Dream Team (A)

(Ha! It’s long but I feel like it can only lose the “Just” so I just have to admit defeat. This is a god damn masterpiece. I’m still chuckling about it! A tagline! Beautiful.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Best Options (franchise): 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.5 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 72.4 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 68.1 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.2 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 61.2 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.5 The Mangler (1995), 59.9 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 58.2 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.2 3 Ninjas Kick Back (1994), 56.1 Son of the Pink Panther (1993), 52.3 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995), 52.3 Major League: Back to the Minors (1998), …

(Someday we’ll smash out some Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and it will be … well not glorious, but it’ll be something. The first was one of the first films we watched in theaters as a kid. The first was Hook. I fell asleep.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dennis Haysbert is No. 3 billed in Major League: Back to the Minors and No. 5 billed in Random Hearts, which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (3 + 5) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 15. If we were to watch Necessary Roughness, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Roger Dorn (Bernsen), Pedro Cerrano (Haysbert), Duke Temple (Yeager) and Harry Doyle (Uecker) are the only characters to appear in all three films in the Major League series.

In Roger Dorn’s Minnesota Twins owner suite, a number 4 Lou Collins jersey hangs in a case, a reference to Timothy Busfield’s character in Little Big League (1994).

Shot in early October in Charleston, South Carolina, 1997, during an unseasonably cool fall. All of the night scenes were made to look as though the games were being played during hot mid-summer nights, when in actuality, temperatures dipped into the 30’s.

The “South Carolina Buzz” were actually the Salt Lake Buzz – which was the Pacific Coast League farm team of the Minnesota Twins. Formerly the Portland Beavers, the franchise moved to Utah in 1994 and had 7 straight winning seasons. In 2001, the team became part of the Anaheim Angels organization under the name Salt Lake Stingers. Both team were named in honor of the Salt Lake Bees, who originally played in SLC on and off from 1915 to 1970. Since 2006, the team is once again called the Salt Lake Bees.

During a Milwaukee Brewers broadcast, Bob Uecker once talked about this film to his partner in the booth and asked him is he’d seen it. When the partner said he hadn’t, Uecker told him “Well don’t. That movie was so bad that it opened in airplanes the week we finished it.”

Major League II Preview

Major League II (1994) – BMeTric: 42.5; Notability: 51

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 12.8%; Notability: top 8.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.1%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, Street Fighter, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Junior, The Next Karate Kid, It’s Pat: The Movie, Double Dragon, On Deadly Ground, The Flintstones, North, The Fantastic Four, Leprechaun 2, 3 Ninjas Kick Back, Exit to Eden, In the Army Now, Color of Night, Car 54, Where Are You?, Richie Rich, Beverly Hills Cop III, Blank Check, and 12 more; Higher Notability: The Flintstones, Wyatt Earp, The Shadow, Beverly Hills Cop III, Ready to Wear, Love Affair, North, Radioland Murders, The Pagemaster, I Love Trouble, On Deadly Ground, Exit to Eden, Street Fighter, The Scout, Drop Zone, Blown Away, Speechless, Junior, D2: The Mighty Ducks, Baby’s Day Out, and 1 more; Lower RT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, It’s Pat: The Movie, Death Wish: The Face of Death, Wagons East, The Silence of the Hams, House Party 3, Car 54, Where Are You?, Holy Matrimony, Getting Even with Dad, A Low Down Dirty Shame; Notes: Major League II was shown 67 times in the 90s, that’s pretty crazy. Compare that to 52 to Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, 6 for Street Fighter, and 10 for Texas Chainsaw: The Next Generation. This is definitely a huuuuuuuuuge cable film around the time. You best belieb we’ve watched Silence of the Hams as well … on VHS. It is exclusive to VHS. Man, 1994 was a wild time.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – Fans of “Major League” (1989) may want to see “Major League II.” I did not see the first film and am not in that category. Nor is there anything in “Major League II” that inspires me to go back and catch up on the earlier film. … There’s one bright spot: On the basis of this dismal attempt, the team will probably not be back next season.

(Ha! Wrong on that count. I can’t believe he didn’t see the first. It is a good film though, so I wonder if he ever did. There still isn’t a review of the original on the website.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGnW5gh4WZE/

(Hahaha, the voice over. The number of people they replaced is sunny. Honestly Epps is arguably better than Snipes. But making the dumb fans a bigger deal with Randy Quaid is one of the many mistakes this film makes.)

Directors – David S. Ward – ( Known For: Major League; The Program; Cannery Row; Future BMT: Down Periscope; King Ralph; BMT: Major League II; Notes: Man, should I read Cannery Row? Steinbeck. Tempting. All of his directorial efforts were huge 90s television hits.)

Writers – David S. Ward – ( Known For: The Sting; Sleepless in Seattle; Major League; The Program; The Milagro Beanfield War; Cannery Row; I’ll Find You; Steelyard Blues; Saving Grace; Future BMT: Flyboys; King Ralph; The Sting II; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: He won the Oscar for The Sting, and was nominated for Sleepless in Seattle. King Ralph, we are coming for you.)

R.J. Stewart – ( Known For: The Rundown; And God Created Woman; BMT: Major League II; Notes: And God Created Woman seems like a ridiculous film. “Robin marries Billy to get out of jail” … how does that follow?)

Tom S. Parker and Jim Jennewein – ( Known For: Stay Tuned; Future BMT: Richie Rich; Getting Even with Dad; BMT: The Flintstones; Major League II; Notes: Stay Tuned is a wild wild film. And wait, Jeffery Jones was in that and Mom and Dad Save the World? Two ridiculous ideas.)

Actors – Charlie Sheen – ( Known For: Platoon; Ferris Bueller’s Day Off; Being John Malkovich; Wall Street; Hot Shots!; Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; Hot Shots! Part Deux; Badlands; Major League; Young Guns; Red Dawn; The Arrival; Eight Men Out; The Chase; The Wraith; Lucas; Foodfight!; Beyond the Law; Good Advice; Cadence; Future BMT: Due Date; Scary Movie 3; Scary Movie 4; Machete Kills; The Three Musketeers; Loaded Weapon 1; Money Talks; The Rookie; Men at Work; The Big Bounce; Madea’s Witness Protection; All Dogs Go to Heaven 2; Shadow Conspiracy; BMT: Scary Movie V; Major League II; Navy Seals; Terminal Velocity; Notes: Nominated for four Emmys all for Two and a Half Men. Cadence. A real film starring Charlie and Martin Sheen that played on television 66 times in the 90s.)

Tom Berenger – ( Known For: Inception; Training Day; Platoon; Born on the Fourth of July; Faster; Major League; The Big Chill; Gettysburg; Eye See You; The Substitute; Shoot to Kill; The Sentinel; Brake; Someone to Watch Over Me; The Gingerbread Man; The Dogs of War; Bad Country; A Murder of Crows; Looking for Mr. Goodbar; Eddie and the Cruisers; Future BMT: Sniper; Shattered; Chasers; Betrayed; Rustlers’ Rhapsody; BMT: Sliver; Major League II; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Platoon. I just watched him in Fear City. His hair was incredible, but not enough Billy Dee Williams.)

Corbin Bernsen – ( Known For: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang; Major League; The Big Year; King Kong; The Hating Game; Lay the Favorite; The Dentist; The Great White Hype; Tales from the Hood; S.O.B.; The Dentist 2; Suing the Devil; Clambake; Disorganized Crime; Dead Air; Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist; Sunrise in Heaven; Christian Mingle; Three the Hard Way; Roe v. Wade; Future BMT: Shattered; Radioland Murders; Hello Again; BMT: Major League II; Major League: Back to the Minors; Notes: Nominated for two Emmys for L.A. Law. He really was in some junk in the 90s. Like Aurora: Operation Intercept … what is that? Played 16 times on television, so it was a real film people could have watched.)

Budget/Gross – $25 million / Domestic: $30,626,182 (Worldwide: $30,626,182)

(That is terrible. Like … really terrible. The only odd thing is Major League only made $50 million. How did it become such a phenomenon. I would have definitely guessed it was one of those $100 million comedies of the 90s.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 5% (1/21): Striking out on every joke, Major League II is a lazy sequel that belongs on the bench.

(My god that is low. I’m not surprised. The film is genuinely quite racist and weird. It isn’t funny, and is just annoying. I guess I’m saying that the percentage makes sense.)

Reviewer Highlight: Baseball’s wild bunch from Cleveland take the field again. Plods ahead with cliches. Pleasantly predictable. – New York Times listings

Poster – Majorly Ugh 2

(I’m actually embarrassed for this poster. At least it’s got that beautiful, beautiful font and crazy baseball mascot. C)

Tagline(s) – The dream team is back! (F)

(Nooooooooooooo! The dream team is back?! Nooooooooooo! I seriously would have given it a D if they added a “Jack” to the end.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

(This is a bonus. Back to the Minors is the actual choice and is pretty solid. 50+. We did consider Children of the Corn at one point.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Dennis Haysbert is No. 4 billed in Major League II and No. 5 billed in Random Hearts, which also stars Harrison Ford (No. 1 billed) who is in Hollywood Homicide (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (4 + 5) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 3) = 16. If we were to watch In Too Deep we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Baker’s inability to throw the ball back to the pitcher was based on former New York Mets catcher Mackey Sasser. Sasser was very successful at throwing out runners attempting to steal second, but had a mental block causing him to flinch several times when trying to throw the ball back to the pitcher. Many baserunners took advantage of this affliction and stole bases while he was triple pumping his throw, and/or lollipopping the throw back.

While Camden Yards doubled as Cleveland Municipal Stadium, scenes depicting Indians road games were filmed mostly at nearby Baltimore Memorial Stadium.

The character Isuro Tanaka was something of an anomaly of that time. At the time of the film’s release, there were no Japanese players in the Major Leagues, and only one Japanese player had ever played (briefly) for a ML team. The influx of Japanese players in US Major League baseball didn’t begin until a few years after the film’s release.

Wesley Snipes wasn’t able to reprise his role of Willie Mays Hayes, and was replaced with Omar Epps

Kevin Hickey, who plays Indians pitcher Schoup, made his major debut in 1981 as a pitcher for the Chicago White Sox, the very team the fictional pitcher Schoup plays against in the film.

Borderlands Preview

“Oh, I didn’t really mean you should come over to set right now,” Kevin James says, rubbing his neck. He’s dressed as Barney Rubble opposite Sly Stallone’s Fred Flintstone in what seemed to be a film where Fred and Barney are transported to the present day. “So there aren’t any dinosaurs at all?” Kyle says in wonder, looking at the very normal looking suburban set. “No… it’s a fish-out-of-water story. Guys, really, It’s not a great time,” Kevin James says nervously and looks over at Sly’s trailer where a group of PA’s are knocking furiously at his door. “Aha, Sly is being Sly, I see,” Patrick says, rubbing his hands together. “Classic Sly.” Kevin James tries to distract them with the craft services table, pointing out the many ways in which sandwiches can be constructed. Kyle is more interested in a prop newspaper with the headline ‘Fred Flintstone Elected Mayor: Promises to Solve Town’s Water Treatment Issue,’ and a date of April 22nd, 1998. His head is spinning. Patrick is still distracted by Sly Stallone’s trailer. “You want me to talk to him?” He asks Kevin James, who tries to grab him by the arm. “I’m going to go talk to him,” Patrick says with a smirk and strolls up to the trailer, scattering PA’s in his wake. “Yo! Adrian!” Patrick yells at the trailer door and then turns back to Kevin James. “That’s just something we do. It’s fun,” he says, smirking even harder. “Stop! Or my mom will shoot!” Patrick continues and at that the trailer door slams open, smashing directly into Patrick’s face.

He wakes up in a desert landscape he recognizes. Strange people surround him. “Welcome to The Waste,” they say, but Patrick springs up immediately. “Nah, this is just the borders of my imagination.” That’s right! We are going Live! for the smash bomb of the year in Borderlands. This is the live action adaptation of the video game Borderlands, which I’ve never played and possibly never even seen a clip from. You think that will hinder or help my enjoyment here? Let’s go!

Borderlands (2024) – BMeTric: 68.3; Notability: 54

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.4%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.7%; Higher BMeT: Madame Web; Lower RT: Tyler Perry’s Divorce in the Black, The Painter, Wanted Man, Summer Camp, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate; Notes: Rare is it that we actually manage to hit at not one but two top BMT films of a year as Live entries. Madame Web and Borderlands were so astonishing they were inevitable and I’m quite glad we watched both in theaters as they were intended.

RogerEbert.com – 1 star – Roth, a director I’ve defended in the horror genre a few times, is remarkably inept at directing action. When the film bursts into gunfire, to call these sequences incoherent would be polite. I’m not sure if cinematographer Rogier Stoffers and/or editors Julian Clarke & Evan Henke deserve some of the blame, but the fight scenes are baffling in their construction. They’re cut in a way that makes it impossible to know the geography of an action scene, or really to care about what happens in them. It may sound picky, but a movie based on an action video game needs at least to provide visceral, escapist entertainment in the guns-and-punches department. There’s not a single memorable action beat in this movie. Not one.

(Yeah, also the film is cut to shit. It is clear that they had a film of film and just had to do something to get it out in a reasonably understandable form. Even if that meant janky voiceover where scenes you can SEE are from later in the film are shown out of order for no real reason. It is insane. It needs to be seen to be believed.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Icnysn53neU/

(Oh jesus this trailer is so loud. I feel like I’ve seen this trailer a thousand times before. And none of those movies were good. I have no idea what they were thinking with this dumb movie.)

Directors – Eli Roth – ( Known For: Hostel; Grindhouse; Knock Knock; Hostel: Part II; Cabin Fever; Thanksgiving; The House with a Clock in Its Walls; Fin; Future BMT: The Green Inferno; BMT: Death Wish; Borderlands; Notes: Famously his role in Inglorious Basterds was supposed to be taken by Adam Sandler, which would have been pretty cool I think.)

Writers – Eli Roth – ( Known For: Hostel; Grindhouse; Knock Knock; Hostel: Part II; Cabin Fever; The Man with the Iron Fists; Thanksgiving; Aftershock; Cabin Fever; Future BMT: The Green Inferno; BMT: Borderlands; Notes: That is kind of amazing. Something tells me we aren’t getting to Green Inferno anytime soon. Honestly, Roth isn’t really my style in general.)

Joe Crombie – ( Notes: He genuinely seems to have a writing credit. He’s mostly credited as an editor.)

Actors – Cate Blanchett – ( Known For: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring; The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King; The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers; The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey; Thor: Ragnarok; The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug; The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; Don’t Look Up; The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies; Hot Fuzz; Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; The Aviator; Eyes Wide Shut; How to Train Your Dragon 2; Babel; Robin Hood; The Talented Mr. Ripley; Ocean’s Eight; Blue Jasmine; The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou; Future BMT: The Monuments Men; Elizabeth: The Golden Age; BMT: Borderlands; Notes: I do love looking deep into someone’s filmography and seeing those weirdo films people must have forgotten about (right?). Pushing Tin? Cate Blanchett was in Pushing Tin?)

Kevin Hart – ( Known For: The 40-Year-Old Virgin; Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle; This Is the End; Jumanji: The Next Level; Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw; The Secret Life of Pets; Central Intelligence; The Five-Year Engagement; DC League of Super-Pets; The Secret Life of Pets 2; The Upside; The Man from Toronto; Death at a Funeral; Think Like a Man; Lift; Fatherhood; Me Time; Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie; Top Five; About Last Night; Future BMT: Scary Movie 3; Get Hard; Along Came Polly; Scary Movie 4; Little Fockers; Superhero Movie; Drillbit Taylor; Night School; Meet Dave; Soul Plane; Think Like a Man Too; In the Mix; Not Easily Broken; Back on the Strip; BMT: Ride Along; Epic Movie; Fool’s Gold; The Wedding Ringer; Ride Along 2; Grudge Match; Borderlands; Notes: What do you think the chances are that any of the following upcoming projects actually happen: Monopoly, Ride Along 3, The Great Outdoors, Planes, Trains & Automobiles. I guess I could see Ride Along 3 (finally!), but the other ones feel unlikely.)

Edgar Ramírez – ( Known For: The Bourne Ultimatum; Zero Dark Thirty; Jungle Cruise; Bright; The Girl on the Train; Joy; Gold; Yes Day; Hands of Stone; The Last Days of American Crime; Wasp Network; Resistance; The Liberator; Furlough; Emilia Pérez; The Quietude; Saluda al diablo de mi parte; An Open Heart; A Dot and a Line; Cyrano Fernández; Future BMT: Vantage Point; The Counselor; Deliver Us from Evil; Domino; The 355; BMT: Wrath of the Titans; Point Break; Borderlands; Notes: From Venezuela. Who could forget his role in Point Break! Such a memorable role indeed.)

Budget/Gross – $110–120 million / Domestic: $15,460,525 (Worldwide: $30,951,794)

(Mein gott! But yeah, they filmed this film at least twice and there is abundant CGI, so obviously a $100 million film was inevitable. But you’d think if WB was onto something they would have eaten it to get tax breaks or something instead of releasing it at all.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 10% (15/154): Glitching out in every department, Borderlands is balderdash.

(Woooooooo, sub-10% films are so rare, i sure do hope it stays that low. And yep, although consensus which boils down to: this is incoherent nonsense.)

Reviewer Highlight: Like the original first-person shooter game, “Borderlands” is set on a junkyard planet named Pandora that was once a home base for an advanced alien species, but has since been overrun by violent marauders and women with formidable push-up bras. – Amy Nicholson, New York Times

Poster – Moreboredlands

(There is too much going on here and the font is terrible, but I kind of dig how weird the color of the title is.That neon yellow like color is very unusual. C-)

Tagline(s) – Chaos loves company. (B+)

(This is a classic BMT tagline. It’s following my rules very closely. Playing on a common phrase, short, and something to do with the film… ish. I actually like it. Just a little generic.)

Keyword(s) – 2024-2024

Top 10: Dune: Part Two (2024), Deadpool & Wolverine (2024), Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024), Civil War (2024), Road House (2024), The Fall Guy (2024), The Beekeeper (2024), Inside Out 2 (2024), Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024), Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Future BMT: 68.4 The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024), 65.9 Night Swim (2024), 64.2 The Strangers: Chapter 1 (2024), 62.9 Tarot (2024), 59.0 Imaginary (2024), 57.9 The Exorcism (2024), 48.0 The Crow (2024), 35.4 The Garfield Movie (2024), 19.8 Back to Black (2024), 16.0 Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024)

BMT: Madame Web (2024), Borderlands (2024), Argylle (2024), The Watchers (2024)

Best Options (wiki-video game): 65.7 Borderlands (2024)

(Video game films are fun. We actually basically have three left (Uncharted, Prince of Persia, and Street Fighter), a few Uwe Boll films (BloodRayne and House of the Dead), and the entire Resident Evil series. Then we are basically done. Throw in Ratchet & Clank because it features the dulcet tones of one Sylvester Stallone and we got a stew cooking.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Kevin Hart is No. 2 billed in Borderlands and No. 5 billed in Grudge Match, which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 1 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 5) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 16. If we were to watch Elizabeth: The Golden Age we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – The movie was shot in the summer of 2021 and Eli Roth’s first director’s cut was reportedly finished in early 2022. However, it was shelved for over two years due to extreme studio interference while the film was in post-production. Appalled by the film’s extreme violence, the studio wanted the film to be marketed as a blockbuster and hired Tim Miller to do extensive reshoots on the project. These reshoots ended up comprising so much of the final movie that Steve Jablonsky had to write an entirely new musical score, as the original score by Nathan Barr no longer fit the film.

Eli Roth originally shot the movie with a planned hard R-rating, keeping in vein with the original game’s M-rating for mature audiences. However, last-minute rewrites, heavy edits, and reshoots from Tim Miller dialed the film back to a PG-13. This is only Roth’s second film to receive a rating other than R, after The House with a Clock in Its Walls (2018), which was PG.

Lilith’s main gun is called “Vladof Infinity” by Marcus, and in the video game, it is a legendary pistol with infinite ammo, which explains why she never runs out and never need to reload it.

Upon its release, the film debuted at an incredibly rare 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Tim Miller directed the re-shoots in Eli Roth’s place as Roth was preoccupied with Thanksgiving (2023), which also stars Gina Gershon.

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas Preview

“Sorry, I didn’t mean indecent. I meant impossible,” the theater owner says, correcting himself. “It’s just that I can’t possibly afford a showing of Cobra at my theater.” Patrick thinks for a moment, contemplating how long it might take to boost the profile of this small theater using the Bad Movie Twins bodacious brand. He looks back through the window of the restaurant where Jamie and Samantha are eating and observes that the make out session has progressed from ‘proper necking’ to ‘hot and heavy.’ He slams his fist into the table. “There just isn’t time,” he rasps through gritted teeth. “Maybe if you ask Sylvester Stallone nicely he’ll do you a solid,” Kyle suggests. Patrick scoffs. Sure he was a social acquaintance of Sly, but one didn’t just ask Sly politely for anything. “Or maybe a friend of a friend,” he adds. Patrick is about to double scoff directly in Kyle’s face, but suddenly has a thought. Unless it was one of the many very realistic daydreams he and Jamie have had recently, he’s pretty sure Kevin James was now one of their best friends. He checks his phone and he finds that KJ is indeed in his contacts (and not headless as a result of a well placed Twin Kick). Hooray! He speed dials the number and gets the man himself on the horn. After briefly confirming that they never kicked him in the head, he asks after Sly. KJ laughs, “That old dog? Did you know that he didn’t even have to show up to the set of Zookeeper but he insisted on wearing the Lion costume every day.” Patrick laughs. Classic Sly. “We’re actually doing a new film together. Why don’t you swing by the set sometime? You can check out Bedrock for yourself.” That’s right! We are finally doing it. The double dose of Flintstones action that is The Flintstones and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. There isn’t much more to say (other than yabba-dabba-do, I guess). Let’s go!

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000) – BMeTric: 82.0; Notability: 96

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.2%; Higher BMeT: Battlefield Earth, Dungeons & Dragons, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2; Lower RT: Fortress 2: Re-Entry, 3 Strikes, My 5 Wives, The in Crowd, Battlefield Earth, Down to You, Bless the Child, Lost Souls, Heavy Metal 2000, Dungeons & Dragons, Circus, The Skulls, I Dreamed of Africa, Ed Gein, Screwed, Urban Legends: Final Cut, The Watcher, Supernova, Boys and Girls, The Ladies Man, and 37 more; Notes: For BMeTric it is 8/10 watched and 14/20 which is quite good I think. The 10-20 films are weird though. Loser, Hanging Up, Lost Souls, The Next Best Thing? I literally cannot believe that Notability either … for The Flintstones sequel!

RogerEbert.com – 0.5 Stars – “The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas” has dinosaurs that lumber along crushing everything in their path. The movie’s screenplay works sort of the same way. Think of every possible pun involving stones, rocks and prehistoric times, and link them to a pea-brained story that creaks and groans on its laborious march through unspeakably obvious, labored and idiotic humor.

(Really close to the very rare 0 star film from Roger Ebert (which is a straight thumbs down). And yeah, compared to the first this one is ultra dumb and the first was effectively Shakespeare.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu3zeVVu3ME/

(Oh wow, and then this one looks like absolute garbage. Fred and Barney are just the worse immediately. Only Betty is any good. Oh man, Gazoo looks horrifying.)

Directors – Brian Levant – ( Known For: Max 2: White House Hero; Future BMT: Beethoven; The Spy Next Door; Snow Dogs; BMT: Jingle All the Way; The Flintstones; Are We There Yet?; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Problem Child 2; Notes: I’m a little bowled over they got the same director back. Snow Dogs … that will be an 00s crown jewel once we get around to it.)

Writers – William Hanna and Joseph Barbera – ( Known For: The Man Called Flintstone; Hey There, It’s Yogi Bear; Tom and Jerry: Cowboy Up!; Tom and Jerry: Snowman’s Land; Future BMT: Tom and Jerry: The Movie; BMT: Tom & Jerry; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: They made all of the cartoons obviously back in the day. Amazingly, only one of their films played on television in the 90s at all since they didn’t get a credit on the first film. It was Tom & Jerry: The Movie which played exactly once, in 1996. I’m not sure I totally buy it, it maybe was just called Tom & Jerry places, but still a fun fact.)

Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont – ( Known For: Can’t Hardly Wait; Josie and the Pussycats; A Very Brady Sequel; Future BMT: Leap Year; Surviving Christmas; BMT: Made of Honor; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: Oooo Can’t Hardly Wait. Honestly … not a super great movie, but only because there is a huge bit in the middle where he leaves the party and it really deflates things. Watched it on Criterion. Wild stuff.)

Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr. – ( Known For: Top Gun: Maverick; Top Gun; Turner & Hooch; Dick Tracy; The Secret of My Success; Legal Eagles; BMT: Anaconda; Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: All of their 80s/90s films played a ton on tv. Cash died in 2000 and Epps seemed to maybe retire afterwards. Their Anacondas 2 credit is for characters only.)

Actors – Mark Addy – ( Known For: Robin Hood; A Knight’s Tale; The Full Monty; Mary Poppins Returns; Downton Abbey; Barney’s Version; The Lost King; It’s a Wonderful Afterlife; Heartlands; Lies We Tell; The Runaways; Future BMT: The Time Machine; Jack Frost; Down to Earth; The Order; BMT: Around the World in 80 Days; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: Remember when The Full Monty was just absolutely the hugest thing in the world … I guess it is again since they are doing some weird American TV special for whatever reason.)

Stephen Baldwin – ( Known For: The Usual Suspects; Born on the Fourth of July; Casualties of War; The Beast of War; Last Exit to Brooklyn; A Simple Twist of Fate; Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle; Sky Kids; The Sex Monster; Homeboy; Xchange; Mercy; Magi; Shark in Venice; Fall Time; The Genius Club; I’m in Love with a Church Girl; Back to the Jurassic; Friends & Lovers; Six: The Mark Unleashed; Future BMT: Half Baked; Fred Claus; Threesome; Fled; 8 Seconds; Posse; BMT: Bio-Dome; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: Alec apparently told him that going Bio-Dome would ruin his career. It really did. Went from Usual Suspects to Bio-Dome to … well, this I suppose.)

Kristen Johnston – ( Known For: Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me; Austin Powers in Goldmember; Music and Lyrics; Swiped; Vamps; Strangers with Candy; Life Happens; The Wedding Year; Lovesick; Finding Bliss; Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate; For the Love of George; Bad Parents; Small Town Wisconsin; Colin Fitz Lives!; Thrill Ride; BMT: Bride Wars; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Notes: Obviously huge on 3rd Rock From the Sun. She was Ivana Humpalot in the Austin Powers films. I didn’t recognize her with black hair, I was wracking my brain trying to figure out who she played.)

Budget/Gross – $83,000,000 / Domestic: $35,268,275 (Worldwide: $59,468,275)

(Oooooof. The budget was kind of unavoidable. You have to make giant sets and costumes and pay for the rights and everything. And then this just tanked. And they have never thought of a live-action version again. You think they’ll ever do The Jetsons.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (18/72): The prequel to the first full-length feature set in Bedrock, Viva Rock Vegas is a surprising improvement over The Flintstones. Aimed towards an audience of adults and children alike, critics feel Viva will appeal to a broad range of viewers.

(WHAT. A surprising improvement? AND IMPROVEMENT?! Ludicrous. You having a laugh?)

Reviewer Highlight: It’s not delightful or funny or exciting, and for long stretches, it looks exactly like hapless actors standing in front of big rocks and reciting sitcom dialogue. – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

Poster – The Flintsklogs in Viva Sklog Vegas

(Remember when I said I was a sucker for a drawn poster? This isn’t exactly what I meant. Still. It could be way worse than this if they had went for photos of the actors and the font is still good. The car, though… it’s tough. C+)

Tagline(s) – Get ready to rock! (D+)

(No. To generic. Too lame. Not into it.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Future BMT: 86.8 Street Fighter (1994), 82.9 Inspector Gadget (1999), 79.3 Home Alone 3 (1997), 75.4 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 72.3 The Next Karate Kid (1994), 71.9 Mr. Magoo (1997), 67.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 67.1 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997), 67.0 Mr. Nanny (1993), 63.5 Showgirls (1995), 61.7 Pet Sematary II (1992), 61.5 Cop & ½ (1993), 61.1 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 60.4 The Mangler (1995), 60.1 Spawn (1997), 59.7 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 59.5 Jury Duty (1995), 58.1 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.9 Holy Man (1998)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997), The Avengers (1998), Baby Geniuses (1999), Spice World (1997), Barb Wire (1996), Kazaam (1996), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Highlander II: The Quickening (1991), Jason Goes to Hell (1993), Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992), Steel (1997), Bio-Dome (1996), Striptease (1996), Species II (1998), Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Wild Wild West (1999), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Double Dragon (1994), Anaconda (1997), It’s Pat: The Movie (1994), Cool as Ice (1991), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1995), Wing Commander (1999), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), On Deadly Ground (1994), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995), Dudley Do-Right (1999), Double Team (1997), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), Ed (1996), The Flintstones (1994), The Haunting (1999), Leprechaun (1993), Bats (1999), Fair Game (1995), Cool World (1992), Body of Evidence (1993), Problem Child 2 (1991), Chairman of the Board (1997), The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999), The Mod Squad (1999), Lost in Space (1998), Sliver (1993), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), …

Best Options (Gothika): 67.1 The Flintstones (1994), 55.0 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 46.8 B*A*P*S (1997), 41.9 Black & White (1999), 41.0 Feeling Minnesota (1996), 39.9 In Dreams (1999), 37.0 Girl 6 (1996), 35.2 The Fan (1996), 34.7 Father Hood (1993), 30.3 The Distinguished Gentleman (1992), 28.5 The Rich Man’s Wife (1996), 26.7 The Pagemaster (1994), 26.4 Race the Sun (1996), 24.9 A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994), 22.9 Nick of Time (1995), 21.9 Screamers (1995), 20.2 Strictly Business (1991), 16.6 U.S. Marshals (1998), 14.7 The Bone Collector (1999)

(We watched this as a BONUS because we were going through Halle Berry. I’ve actually already seen the Bone Collector. It is incredibly silly … and I kind of want to read the books. I’m sure they are equally ludicrous.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 20) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Alan Cumming is No. 7 billed in The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas and No. 4 billed in Get Carter, which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 4 (No. 2 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (7 + 4) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 20. If we were to watch The Sin Eater, and 40 Days and 40 Nights we can get the HoE Number down to 13.

Notes – Although he died eleven years prior to this movie’s release, Mel Blanc received credit for the voice of Baby Dino. The voice was re-used from The Flintstones (1960).

Harvey Korman (Colonel Slaghoople) was the original voice of The Great Gazoo on The Flintstones (1960).

The creators of the original animated series, William Hanna and Joseph Barbera, can be seen briefly during the wedding scene at the end of this movie. There’s one quick shot of the two of them together singing along to the Flintstones theme song.

The producers opted for the prequel approach in this second movie mainly due to John Goodman’s refusal to reprise his role as Fred Flintstone.

On the shelf in Betty O’Shale’s (Jane Krakowski’s) kitchen is a box of Post Fruity Pebbles, a real-life breakfast cereal derived from the original animated series.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Stephen Baldwin)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Joan Collins)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel

The Flintstones Preview

The Flintstones (1994) – BMeTric: 67.1; Notability: 105

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.2%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 24.2%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (52), Street Fighter (6), Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (10), Junior (2), The Next Karate Kid (89), It’s Pat: The Movie (13), Double Dragon (11), On Deadly Ground (36); Lower RT: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (52), It’s Pat: The Movie (13), Death Wish: The Face of Death (31), Wagons East (9), The Silence of the Hams (11), House Party 3 (24), Car 54, Where Are You? (71), Holy Matrimony (61), Getting Even with Dad (52), A Low Down Dirty Shame (49), Major League II (66), Exit to Eden (38), Lightning Jack (58), Leprechaun 2 (9), The Next Karate Kid (89), Trial by Jury (38), Blank Check (50), Intersection (28), The Specialist (33), Trapped in Paradise (47), and 39 more; Notes: I filled in all the counts in parenthesis in this one. The Flintstones, much like a lot of big films in the late 90s, seemed to resist showing too much on television. Only twice in 1997 and once in 1999. You can see with the higher BMeT films that the bigger ones (Street Fighter, Junior) counter-intuitively played fewer times on television. Top Notability though, that’s sweet. FYI I’m not going to fill in the counts for all of them, too much work, but fun still.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – If “The Flintstones” had been able to devise a story as interesting as its production values, it would have been some kind of wonderful. This is a great-looking movie, a triumph of set design and special effects, creating a fantasy world halfway between suburbia and a prehistoric cartoon. The frame is filled with delightful and inventive notions, all based on the idea that modern America might somehow be reconstructed out of rocks. Just watching it is fun. … Maybe kids just plain won’t mind; they’ll disregard the story and enjoy the stone age gags. But “The Flintstones” does so well with the hard part of creating its world that it’s a shame the earlier part – putting a story into it – doesn’t measure up.

(I can tell you … I didn’t give a shit when I was a kid. This movie was fucking dope. I still can’t believe it is considered a bad movie.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-uN0rHF7Ig/

(Jeez, Moranis and Goodman are so good. I really hate the bait and switch at the beginning, but my god this looks incredible. People must have been like shit we can just make cartoons now.)

Directors – Brian Levant – ( Known For: Max 2: White House Hero; Future BMT: Beethoven; The Spy Next Door; Snow Dogs; BMT: Jingle All the Way; The Flintstones; Are We There Yet?; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Problem Child 2; Notes: Kind of incredible that Jingle All the Way was I think by far his biggest film. He was doing something right. We need to smash out all of the Beethoven films at some point … well, maybe not all of them.)

Writers – Tom S. Parker and Jim Jennewein – ( Known For: Stay Tuned; Future BMT: Richie Rich; Major League II; Getting Even with Dad; BMT: The Flintstones; Notes: Wait … we are watching two of their films in this cycle alone? That’s nuts. Getting Even with Dad, Richie Rich, and Major League II both came out in ‘94 and were huge cable hits. Crazy.)

Steven E. de Souza – ( Known For: Die Hard; Die Hard 2; Commando; The Running Man; 48 Hrs.; Ricochet; Blast; The Return of Captain Invincible; Future BMT: Street Fighter; Bad Dreams; BMT: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life; Judge Dredd; Beverly Hills Cop III; The Flintstones; Hudson Hawk; Another 48 Hrs.; Knock Off; Notes: It is incredible we are almost done with this filmography. As a matter of fact … I just have to watch Blast, Bad Dreams, and The Return of Captain Invincible to seemingly finish off his filmography personally. That’s crazy.)

Actors – John Goodman – ( Known For: Monsters, Inc.; The Big Lebowski; Argo; Cars; Monsters University; Flight; 10 Cloverfield Lane; Kong: Skull Island; O Brother, Where Art Thou?; The Artist; The Emperor’s New Groove; Atomic Blonde; Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets; Bee Movie; The Princess and the Frog; Inside Llewyn Davis; Raising Arizona; The Campaign; Barton Fink; Patriots Day; Future BMT: The Hangover Part III; The Internship; Evan Almighty; The Monuments Men; Coyote Ugly; Death Sentence; One Night at McCool’s; Dirty Work; Love the Coopers; The Jungle Book 2; King Ralph; We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story; Ratchet & Clank; The Survivors; Burglar; Born Yesterday; Stella; BMT: Transformers: Age of Extinction; Transformers: The Last Knight; The Flintstones; Confessions of a Shopaholic; Notes: Guess which one of his many films played the most on television in the 90s? That’s right, let’s say it together … Born Yesterday? Huh. Literally the second least popular available BMT qualifier for him, but played over 90 times in the 90s. That’s patently insane.)

Rick Moranis – ( Known For: Ghostbusters; Ghostbusters II; Spaceballs; Honey, I Shrunk the Kids; Little Shop of Horrors; Parenthood; Honey, I Blew Up the Kid; L.A. Story; Little Giants; Streets of Fire; My Blue Heaven; Strange Brew; The Wild Life; Howard; Future BMT: Brother Bear; Brewster’s Millions; Club Paradise; Big Bully; Splitting Heirs; Head Office; BMT: The Flintstones; Notes: It is insane that Ghostbusters II played over 200 times on television in the 90s. Moranis is such an incredible 90s actor. If his films played on different days each time then over 30% of the dates in the 90s would have a Moranis film playing. What?!)

Rosie O’Donnell – ( Known For: Tarzan; Sleepless in Seattle; Pitch Perfect 2; A League of Their Own; Hedwig and the Angry Inch; Beautiful Girls; A Very Brady Sequel; Harriet the Spy; Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey; Wide Awake; I’ll Do Anything; I’m Going to Tell You a Secret; Teenage Paparazzo; The Undefeated; The Twilight of the Golds; Everything Is Copy; Being Mary Tyler Moore; ShowBusiness: The Road to Broadway; Future BMT: Another Stakeout; BMT: The Flintstones; Now and Then; The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas; Fatal Instinct; Exit to Eden; Car 54, Where Are You?; Notes: She gets a bunch of plays on television in supporting roles … but the weirdest one is The Twilight of the Golds. I think I even brought this one up before, it is about a debate a family has about an unborn child which genetic will be born gay. Like WHAT?!)

Budget/Gross – $46,000,000 / Domestic: $130,531,208 (Worldwide: $341,631,208)

(Holy shit, that is a lot of money. Not surprising. The film is genuinely good and everyone else was dumb and wrong at the time.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 23% (11/48): The Flintstones wastes beloved source material and imaginative production design on a tepid script that plunks Bedrock’s favorite family into a cynical story awash with lame puns.

(Fine, alright … yeah, it is kind of a waste. They aren’t wrong about that. But man, imagine the sequel we could have gotten with the original awesome cast? Phew.)

Reviewer Highlight: Mostly rock jokes stretched to feature length – New York Times listing

Poster – The Flintsklogs

(There is a lot going on in this poster, but I am a sucker for a classic drawn poster. Like look at that detail! It’s pretty great. Nice font. The only thing I’d do is 86 the bird. It’s too much. Keep it to the main characters. A-)

Tagline(s) – Yabba-Dabba-Doo! (C)

(That’s a fastball right down the middle. Can’t blame them. Can’t reward them.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

(Wowza. Amazing it is the best option because we really started to have our hands tied going back in time and then jumping back up to a 2024 film. But yeah, this was a blockbuster (in the BMT sense))

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Elizabeth Perkins is No. 2 billed in The Flintstones and No. 4 billed in The Ring Two, which also stars Naomi Watts (No. 1 billed) who is in Diana (No. 1 billed) which also stars Naveen Andrews (No. 2 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 4 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (2 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 4) + (1 + 2) = 17. If we were to watch Must Love Dogs, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Danny DeVito was Steven Spielberg ‘s first choice for the part of Barney. DeVito felt his acting style was too gruff to properly portray Barney, and turned the part down. Subsequently, DeVito recommended Rick Moranis for the part.

Since the entire cast performed barefoot, glassware was banned from the set to prevent injuries.

The appearance of the Flintstones’ sabre-toothed cat marks one of the first times for a furry CG character in a feature film. A specific, complex algorithm (for its time) had to be developed to calculate the movement of every single hair of the fur.

On Dame Elizabeth Taylor’s first day onset, she was greeted with 30 bouquets of flowers, a Cartier watch, a prehistoric bowling ball with her name engraved on it and a bottle of her Passion perfume, redesigned in Bedrock-style fashion. The same bottle appears in the film.

Mel Blanc receives a credit for the voice of Dino five years after his death. The dialogue is taken directly from The Flintstones (1960).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Remake or Sequel (Bruce Cohen)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Rosie O’Donnell)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Elizabeth Taylor)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Tom S. Parker, Jim Jennewein, Steven E. de Souza, Al Aidekman, Kate Barker, Cindy Begel, Ruth Bennett, Bruce Cohen, Robert Conte, Rob Dames, Lon Diamond, Michael J. Di Gaetano, Fred Fox Jr., Lloyd Garver, Daniel Goldin, Joshua Goldin, Richard Gurman, Jason Hoffs, Brian Levant, Babaloo Mandel, Mitch Markowitz, Ron Osborn, Jeff Reno, David Richardson, Leonard Ripps, Gary Ross, Dava Savel, David Silverman, Nancy Steen, Stephen Sustarsic, Roy Teicher, Neil Thompson, Michael G. Wilson, Peter Wortmann)

Indecent Proposal Preview

“I guess I’m surprised. Given how you guys talk about that film, I expected something a bit more exciting… and for Sylvester Stallone to show up more than once,” Kyle says, confused. Patrick grabs him by the shirt and growls, “That wasn’t Cobra. I don’t know what the hell that was, but it wasn’t Cobra and don’t you forget it.” His eyes search wildly around on the ground until they find what they’re looking for. “Aha,” he howls and picks up the ‘S’ that had fallen from the marquee. The film they had just spent the last 87 minutes watching was actually ‘Cobras.’ “Saboteur!” Patrick yells and runs back into the theater. He finds the owner enjoying one of his small pleasures in what was otherwise a fairly dull life running a small theater specializing in wildlife films, a small bucket of buttered popcorn. “Check this shit out,” Patrick says with a sneer and throws the ‘S’ at him, knocking over the bucket and spilling the popcorn everywhere. The theater owner sighs. “Ah yes,” he says, sighing loudly again, “that ‘S’ has given me all kinds of trouble.” But as he reaches for it Patrick slaps his hand away. “Don’t you dare pretend you didn’t know. I don’t think Sly Stallone would appreciate you riding his coattails to an unwarranted financial windfall and I certainly don’t think theatergoers like ourselves appreciate getting duped by false promises of unparalleled Sly Stallone action.” He waits a beat before dropping the bomb. “I’m going to sue you. I’m going to sue you for false advertising and ruin you.” Kyle is aghast. He’s never seen Patrick like this. “Unless,” Patrick continues cryptically and then whispers a proposal into the theater owner’s ear. The poor man gasps. “My heavens, man! That’s indecent!” That’s right! We are watching one of the biggest BMT qualifying films of all time. It’s got stars! It’s got box office boffo! It’s got an indecent proposal. It’s Indecent Proposal. Let’s go!

Indecent Proposal (1993) – BMeTric: 33.0; Notability: 60

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 13.6%; Notability: top 4.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 27.0%; Higher BMeT: Super Mario Bros., RoboCop 3, Jason Goes to Hell, Look Who’s Talking Now, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, Leprechaun, Mr. Nanny, Body of Evidence, Cop & ½, Beethoven’s 2nd, Sliver, Boxing Helena, Weekend at Bernie’s II, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, The Beverly Hillbillies, Son of the Pink Panther, Made in America, Coneheads, Carnosaur, Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, and 14 more; Higher Notability: Hocus Pocus, The Meteor Man, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, Coneheads, RoboCop 3, We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story, Rising Sun, The Three Musketeers, Son of the Pink Panther, Life with Mikey; Lower RT: Look Who’s Talking Now, Warlock: The Armageddon, Deadfall, Golden Gate, Son of the Pink Panther, Mr. Nanny, Body of Evidence, RoboCop 3, Hexed, Best of the Best II, Ghost in the Machine, Father Hood, Calendar Girl, Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, Weekend at Bernie’s II, My Boyfriend’s Back, Cop & ½, Only the Strong, Ernest Rides Again, Gunmen, and 45 more; Notes: A true blue rewatchable, played 48 times on television in the 90s. High notability as well. We are 10/10 for the top 20 there on BMeT, which is pretty good, but points to us needing to still get out and do some 90s films … except not Boxing Helena, I never want to see that film.

RogerEbert.com – 3.0 stars – “Indecent Proposal” is in a very old tradition, in which love is put to the test of need and desire and triumphs in the end, although not without a great many moments when it seems quite willing to cave in to passion. It is artificial and manipulative, and in the real world this sort of thing would never happen in this way, but then that’s why we line up at the ticket window: We want to leave the real world, for a couple of hours, anyway.

(Hell yeah, Ebert. This is what I’m talking about. Indecent Proposal is a cult classic and Ebert recognized it for the amazing slop it was. Bring it on.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad98qFf7PTE/

(Ooooof the music. If they did a remake I wonder how much the money would be … $10 million maybe. The point is that it is enough to buy a house straight up. And a nice one. So you would have to have an idea of it buying something like oceanside real estate in LA. $10 million I think.)

Directors – Adrian Lyne – ( Known For: Jacob’s Ladder; Fatal Attraction; Unfaithful; Lolita; Deep Water; 9½ Weeks; Foxes; BMT: Indecent Proposal; Flashdance; Notes: Genuinely, it is a bit unbelievable that a guy could just go for (effectively) erotic thrillers. And he got away with it! Even made Deep Water. He was nominated for an Oscar for Fatal Attraction, arguably the OG erotic thriller.)

Writers – Jack Engelhard – ( BMT: Indecent Proposal; Notes: I didn’t realize it was based on a book. The author himself doesn’t have a wikipedia page so something tells me he was something of a one hit wonder there.)

Amy Holden Jones – ( Known For: Mystic Pizza; The Slumber Party Massacre; Maid to Order; Love Letters; Future BMT: Beethoven; The Relic; Beethoven’s 2nd; The Getaway; The Rich Man’s Wife; BMT: Indecent Proposal; Notes: Big television person now, wrote/created The Resident. She still gets random Beethoven credits, like for Beethoven’s Treasure Trail.)

Actors – Robert Redford – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Captain America: The Winter Soldier; The Sting; Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; Spy Game; All the President’s Men; Out of Africa; The Last Castle; All Is Lost; A River Runs Through It; Three Days of the Condor; Sneakers; A Bridge Too Far; Pete’s Dragon; The Old Man & the Gun; Charlotte’s Web; The Horse Whisperer; The Discovery; Jeremiah Johnson; The Company You Keep; Future BMT: Lions for Lambs; Up Close & Personal; Havana; BMT: Indecent Proposal; Notes: I have to be honest … of the four films Redford acted in which qualify I genuinely kind of only recognize this one. Won an Oscar for directing Ordinary People, but was nominated for three more (acting in The Sting, and directing/producing Quiz Show). He also has an honorary Oscar.)

Demi Moore – ( Known For: A Few Good Men; Ghost; The Hunchback of Notre Dame; The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent; Mr. Brooks; Margin Call; Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle; G.I. Jane; Beavis and Butt-Head Do America; LOL; Rough Night; Disclosure; St. Elmo’s Fire; Deconstructing Harry; Bobby; The Joneses; Flawless; We’re No Angels; Bunraku; About Last Night; Future BMT: The Juror; The Seventh Sign; The Butcher’s Wife; Young Doctors in Love; BMT: Indecent Proposal; Striptease; Now and Then; Nothing But Trouble; The Scarlet Letter; Blame It on Rio; Notes: We’ve basically seen her big ones, The Juror probably being outstanding. Was nominated for an Emmy for If These Walls Could Talk, and getting a lot of buzz for The Substance. Was married to Bruce Willis for a long time.)

Woody Harrelson – ( Known For: No Country for Old Men; The Hunger Games; The Hunger Games: Catching Fire; Now You See Me; Zombieland; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1; Friends with Benefits; Solo: A Star Wars Story; The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2; War for the Planet of the Apes; Seven Psychopaths; Venom: Let There Be Carnage; Natural Born Killers; Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me; Anger Management; Zombieland: Double Tap; The Thin Red Line; Triangle of Sadness; The Edge of Seventeen; Future BMT: Venom; Now You See Me 2; Seven Pounds; Semi-Pro; After the Sunset; Free Birds; Wildcats; Play It to the Bone; The Cowboy Way; Palmetto; BMT: 2012; Indecent Proposal; Money Train; Notes: Nominated for three Oscars (The People vs. Larry Flint, The Messenger, and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri). Probably most notably broke out on the scene with Cheers, and again (in television) with the first season of True Detective.)

Budget/Gross – $38 million / Domestic: $106,614,059 (Worldwide: $266,614,059)

(That is a bonafide phenomenon. Not much room for a sequel. Isn’t that always the case with erotic thrillers. And when they buck the trend (I’m looking at you Basic Instinct), they are awful.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 34% (16/47): Lurid but acted with gusto, Indecent Proposal has difficulty keeping it up beyond its initial titillating premise.

(All I need is that titillating premise baby! What are these people on, we are just here for the vague suggestion that Robert Redford has a giant dick, and also some wealth porn with him having a gaudy house and a yacht. It ain’t complicated.)

Reviewer Highlight: Not once in the whole silly exercise does he approximate a genuine emotion. Unable to dramatize marital love, he sells it, as if he were pitching perfume. Having nothing credible to play, Moore and Harrelson strike poses of love and anguish. – David Ansen, Newsweek

Poster – Sklogtastic Proposition

(This poster always made me think that Harrelson was the one making the proposal… and then I’d be like “wait, Demi Moore is married to Robert Redford in this movie?” Never made sense and now I know why. I think the poster is intriguing because it’s steamy, but it’s not interesting. C.)

Tagline(s) – A husband. A wife. A millionaire. A proposal. (A+)

(Man that’s good. That’s as good as it gets (but not the film As Good As It Gets, which is not about a millionaire proposing to have sex with someone’s wife)… but just to pick at this a bit. He’s just a millionaire? I guess given that he’s betting a million on single rolls and giving away millions to have sex with people that he would be somewhere in the low billions, even back in the 90’s.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Best Options (Romance): 75.4 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 74.9 Junior (1994), 61.1 Beethoven’s 2nd (1993), 54.2 The Bachelor (1999), 52.2 Superstar (1999), 45.4 Home Fries (1998), 44.7 King Ralph (1991), 44.6 I Love Trouble (1994), 38.8 Nowhere to Run (1993), 38.5 My Father the Hero (1994), 38.5 Intersection (1994), 38.4 If Lucy Fell (1996), 38.1 The Butcher’s Wife (1991), 37.7 Mad Love (1995), 36.9 The Beautician and the Beast (1997), 36.8 Milk Money (1994), 36.5 Two If by Sea (1996), 36.4 Booty Call (1997), 35.5 Something to Talk About (1995), 34.8 The Crush (1993), 34.6 Drive Me Crazy (1999), 34.3 Woo (1998), 33.7 ‘Til There Was You (1997), 33.4 Career Opportunities (1991), 33.0 Indecent Proposal (1993), …

(Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do an erotic thriller classic. But yeah, The Bachelor would have been something else indeed. Does that movie even really exist? Some day people will ask wait … Chris O’Donnell was in movies?)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Demi Moore is No. 2 billed in Indecent Proposal and No. 1 billed in Striptease, which also stars Burt Reynolds (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 5 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 1) + (2 + 5) + (3 + 1) = 14. If we were to watch Havana we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – Director Adrian Lyne was originally dismissive of casting Woody Harrelson as David, but changed his mind after watching White Men Can’t Jump (1992). Harrelson said in one interview that doing love scenes with Demi Moore was uncomfortable because he was good friends with Moore’s then-husband, Bruce Willis.

Director Adrian Lyne and Demi Moore often fought on-set over her character, with Woody Harrelson trying to be mediator between the two. Lyne had argued that he wanted Moore to show vulnerability, while the actress defended herself. It was later while Lyne was editing this movie that he realized she was portraying what he wanted all along, and he soon apologized to Moore.

During the auction scene, John Gage (Robert Redford) is to leave the room. Redford kept missing his cue because he was listening to the jokes that auction emcee Sir Billy Connolly was saying.

Demi Moore’s black cut-out Thierry Mugler-designed dress generated such immense interest after the movie’s release, it was often copied by other designers.

The tears shed by Demi Moore in the touching “girl that got away scene” in which Gage describes a past chance meeting with a beautiful girl are genuine. This scene was filmed without co-star Moore knowing any of Redfords dialogue, instead just being told to listen.

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Sherry Lansing)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Robert Redford)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Demi Moore)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Woody Harrelson)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Adrian Lyne)

Sleepwalkers Preview

Patrick and Kyle sit in the back of the kitchen watching Jamie and Samantha enjoy their PB&J sandwiches (aka The Assassins) while staring dreamily into each other’s eyes. “Boy, young love sure is amazing,” Patrick says. “Yeah,” Kyle agrees, “almost as amazing as the fact that I’ve never seen Cobra starring Sylvester Stallone.” The color drains from Patrick’s face and he recoils in disgust at this unexpected segue. He tries to remember back to when they first hired Kyle onto Bad Movie Twins and whether they went through their typical rigorous background check. Apparently not as determining Sly Stallone street cred was one of the primary ways in which they would separate the wheat from the chaff in the hiring process. “That’s OK,” Patrick croaks, but things weren’t OK at all. How was he going to get rid of Kyle? Before he could craft a plan to remove Kyle from the equation he notices Kyle is trying to get his attention. “What is it?” he snaps. “I just was saying, isn’t it funny that I mentioned Cobra and it happened to be playing at the theater across the street?” Indeed, when Patrick looks out the window of the kitchen he sees those beautiful words: “Cobra special 12:30pm showing”. Thank god! Patrick looks over at Jamie and is relieved to see that after finishing the PB&J sandwiches he and Samantha have started smooching pretty hard. That should progress into a full on make out session and that should give them the necessary 87 minutes to take in Cobra in all its glory. “Grab your shit,” Patrick says rudely and drags him across the street. Exactly 87 minutes later they stumble back into the sunlight. They are both stunned into silence, the glazed look of sleepwalkers on their face. That’s right! We are watching the Stephen King penned film Sleepwalkers which is about incestuous werecats shapeshifters. Totally normal film for a couple of totally normal guys like us. Let’s go!

Sleepwalkers (1992) – BMeTric: 50.9; Notability: 41

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 2.0%; Notability: top 8.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 17.9%; Higher BMeT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Cool World, Pet Sematary II, Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, Toys; Higher Notability: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Toys, Cool World, Newsies, The Bodyguard, Freejack, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Universal Soldier, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Mighty Ducks, Innocent Blood, The Distinguished Gentleman, Radio Flyer, This Is My Life, Kuffs, Man Trouble, Encino Man, Mom and Dad Save the World, and 1 more; Lower RT: Once Upon a Crime…, Live Wire, Folks!, Year of the Comet, Love Crimes, Frozen Assets, Cool World, Man Trouble, The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Passed Away, Mr. Baseball, Mom and Dad Save the World, The Distinguished Gentleman, Ladybugs, The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Aces: Iron Eagle III, Mo’ Money, and 22 more; Notes: We really are hitting some top BMeT and Notability films. This having a Notability of 40+ in particular is wild. This played an amazing 54 times on television. Was this a rewatchable film? Unclear. Premiered Cinemax primetime on May 12, 1993, a Wednesday, which indeed was the “premiere” slot for Cinemax 8 P.M. in 1992. As for the rest of the high BMeT, just those two horror sequels left, Pet Sematary II and Children of the Corn II.

Variety – Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers is an idiotic horror potboiler. New approach to the vampire legend is really a variation on TriStar’s 1988 flop The Kiss. Brian Krause and mom Alice Krige are incestuous monsters called Sleepwalkers who survive by draining the life force from virgin girls. – Staff

(Wait wait wait … what’s The Kiss now? Do I need to watch The Kiss?! Do I have homework?! Anyways, I do like the sound of “idiotic”, give me that all day.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge6_zTJPhUc/

(That is glorious in an 80s kind of way. A very 80s cast. A Stephen King cameo in the trailer seems like something special. I wonder how many trailers he’s been in.)

Directors – Mick Garris – ( Known For: Riding the Bullet; Nightmare Cinema; BMT: Sleepwalkers; Critters 2: The Main Course; Notes: What a wild career. Was hired as the secretary for the Star Wars Company when it started, then he hosted some Z-Channel interview show, then he did Making Of shorts for a bunch of films, and then he started doing Stephen King stuff. He directed The Shining mini-series that King thought was better than the Kubrick one.)

Writers – Stephen King – ( Known For: The Shawshank Redemption; The Green Mile; The Shining; It; Stand by Me; The Mist; It Chapter Two; 1408; Misery; Doctor Sleep; Secret Window; Carrie; The Running Man; Carrie; Gerald’s Game; Pet Sematary; Pet Sematary; Christine; The Dead Zone; 1922; Future BMT: Children of the Corn; Thinner; Creepshow 2; Needful Things; The Mangler; Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice; BMT: The Dark Tower; Dreamcatcher; The Lawnmower Man; Firestarter; Maximum Overdrive; Sleepwalkers; Firestarter; The Rage: Carrie 2; Graveyard Shift; Notes: Oh wow he straight up wrote this. That’s … nuts. One sec. Yeah, so this is the first film written by King to not be based on one of his preexisting works. Also there is only one other film where he was the sole writer, Maximum Overdrive being the other.)

Actors – Brian Krause – ( Known For: Growth; Hollywood.Con; Plan 9; Naked Souls; Red Sky; Poseidon Rex; Toolbox Murders 2; Cyrus; Triloquist; Alien Rising; Protecting the King; Absolute Killers; BMT: Sleepwalkers; Return to the Blue Lagoon; Notes: Still acting, although, honestly in what appears to be a whole lotta schlock. He was in 145 episodes of Charmed.)

Mädchen Amick – ( Known For: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me; Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces; Dream Lover; The Boyfriend School; The Borrower; Scenes of the Crime; Bombshell; French Exit; Future BMT: Trapped in Paradise; BMT: Priest; Sleepwalkers; Notes: Still acts, most notably in 117 episodes of Riverdale. I recognized her from Twin Peaks.)

Alice Krige – ( Known For: Thor: The Dark World; Reign of Fire; Star Trek: First Contact; Solomon Kane; Chariots of Fire; Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Gretel & Hansel; The Contract; Lonely Hearts; Barfly; A Christmas Prince; A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding; The Little Vampire; A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby; Skin; Will; She Will; The Bay of Silence; The Betrayed; The Calling; Future BMT: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice; Ghost Story; King David; BMT: Silent Hill; Sleepwalkers; Notes: Ah ha! It’s the Borg Queen from Star Trek: First Contact. That’s incredible. She does have a look. She did the voice in the Picard show as well.)

Budget/Gross – $15 million / Domestic: $30,524,763 (Worldwide: $30,524,763)

(This actually is an interesting about of money. King always seemed like a difficult person to make a movie with so I doubt a sequel of any kind would have been in the cards … is a little weird he never got the shot to write another original though.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (5/17)

(The consensus is funny really, it is basically: Same old stuff, feels like King just cashed that check … he probably did. It’ll be over 40% soon I think, every recent review is good.)

Reviewer Highlight: As it sleepwalks towards its ungrand finale, the new King invention falls back on familiar things. – Malcolm Johnson, Hartford Courant

Poster – Sklogwalkers

(This is fun. Like the cover of an old school paperback. I love it. Maybe just a tad more of the dusk sky would have made it pop a little more. Still, it’s great. A.)

Tagline(s) – They feast on your fear – and it’s dinner time. (C-)

(Wait… what? They eat your fear? I don’t think that’s true. I think they eat you… like physically consume you. So this tagline is lying to you. Do not believe it.)

Keyword(s) – 1991-1999

Top 10: Armageddon (1998), Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), Hook (1991), Batman & Robin (1997), Batman Forever (1995), Big Daddy (1999), Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), Godzilla (1998), Event Horizon (1997), Demolition Man (1993)

Best Options (Horror): 61.7 Pet Sematary II (1992), 60.4 The Mangler (1995), 59.7 Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1992), 58.1 Child’s Play 3 (1991), 57.5 An American Werewolf in Paris (1997), 50.8 Sleepwalkers (1992), 48.7 Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995), 46.9 Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992), 45.8 House on Haunted Hill (1999), 44.1 Bordello of Blood (1996), 43.9 Diabolique (1996), 43.4 Village of the Damned (1995), 42.1 Ghost in the Machine (1993), 41.7 Disturbing Behavior (1998), 40.4 End of Days (1999), 39.9 In Dreams (1999), 38.7 Dr. Giggles (1992), 38.6 Hideaway (1995), 38.1 Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995), 36.9 Thinner (1996), 36.4 The Relic (1997), 35.3 Warlock: The Armageddon (1993), 35.1 Man’s Best Friend (1993), 32.6 Mary Reilly (1996), 31.4 My Boyfriend’s Back (1993), 28.4 Deep Rising (1998), 27.7 Bad Moon (1996), 26.6 Stigmata (1999), 26.5 The Puppet Masters (1994), 26.0 Brainscan (1994), 25.8 Idle Hands (1999), 23.2 Popcorn (1991), 21.9 Screamers (1995)

(Those are some solid options, and … Jesus, so many of them are King horror films. This one is fun though because it just looks wild.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 17) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ron Perlman is No. 6 billed in Sleepwalkers and No. 2 billed in Season of the Witch, which also stars Nicolas Cage (No. 1 billed) who is in The Wicker Man (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (6 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 17. If we were to watch King David, Nights in Rodanthe, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 15.

Notes – Lyman Ward and Cindy Pickett, who played Tanya’s parents, were also married in real life at the time of filming. (They had met when they appeared in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986), where they also played a married couple).

Both Mick Garris and Mädchen Amick are allergic to cats, as revealed in the recent Scream Factory Blu-ray release. Amick didn’t reveal this to anyone until right as the film went into production.

According to director Mick Garris, Stephen King’s wife Tabitha King wrote a treatment for a sequel that would have involved a women’s basketball team.

During a Q&A celebrating the film’s 25th anniversary, director Mick Garris revealed the Enya song “Boadicea” was chosen for the film only because, of all the songs provided to him by Sony Music at the time for cross-promotion, it was the one song he felt fit the tone of the film.

Mick Garris cast Alice Krige as Mary Brady after remembering her appearance in Ghost Story (1981), which he had publicized when he worked as a publicist for Universal Pictures.