Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Preview

Mud splashes in Young Jamie’s face and Jamie and Patrick fist bump and laugh as they watch the dirt mingle with his tears. The youngsters hopped on their own motorbikes in an attempt to battle their older counterparts’ sick moves. Alas, without the years of professional dance under their belts they couldn’t keep up. “Who… who are you guys?” asks Young Patrick, sniffling sadly at his own lack of motorbike skillz. Patrick throws up his hands. The youngsters shouldn’t worry about who they are. “The short and sweet of it is that we are who you could become if you learn the three R’s: reading, writing, and total radness.” Boom. A look of wonder and self-reflection cross the faces of the younger versions of themselves. They predator high five and vow to read, write, and be super rad by being kind and inclusive to others. Boy, that was easy. Jamie and Patrick nod at each other and prepare to head back to the time machine. They were certain this would take at least eight or nine short adventures to achieve their goal. “Hey wait,” the youngsters say, “Aren’t you going to stick around for dinner?” Patrick is about to explain that they don’t make it a habit to dine with children because they are adults and kids are boring when Young Jamie chimes in, “Yeah, and then afterwards is trick-or-treating!” Jamie and Patrick look at each other in shock, a shared feeling about this moment flooding back to them. They may have turned their lives around with their rad tricks and sage advice, but something about Young Jamie’s words make them think they have one more thing left to do. Halloween, late 90’s, tricks and/or treats… something monstrous is on the horizon. That’s right! We’re heading on through another horror franchise and boooooyyyyy howdy do I love franchises. Halloween might be the most critically disappointing of the major franchises. Started at the highest of highs and then really tanked starting with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. And that’s where we start and pick up a bonus in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Both under 90 minutes. Let’s go!

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) – BMeTric: 60.3; Notability: 26

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.2%; Notability: top 17.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 6.7%; Higher BMeT: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child; Higher Notability: Tango & Cash, Troop Beverly Hills, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Fletch Lives, Harlem Nights, Leviathan, Pink Cadillac, Family Business, Lock Up, Millennium, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Three Fugitives, Dead Bang, Renegades, Let It Ride, Slaves of New York, The Karate Kid Part III, Who’s Harry Crumb?, and 24 more; Lower RT: Dream a Little Dream, Police Academy 6: City Under Siege, Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects, The Horror Show, The Toxic Avenger Part II, Stepfather II: Make Room for Daddy, Night Game, Wired, Wild Orchid, DeepStar Six, No Holds Barred, Rooftops, She’s Out of Control, Winter People, Millennium, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan; Notes: Huh … now that I look at both of these plots together, both of the ratings tick down at the same time. Much have been a purge of fake / suspicious votes or something. Maybe some misguided marketing attempt for the new film? Maybe a backlash to the new film? Maybe robots running wild? Who knows. This rating is more like it though, we’ve seen all of the other higher BMeT films as well.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Slightly more plot than before but still just a sequential slaughter of teenagers as Michael Myers (Shanks) again sets out to kill his young niece (Harris). Routine and plodding, with too many endings and unnecessary setup for a sequel.

(Interesting. There is a sequel. But from what I remember the sequel is barely connected to this film. Doesn’t it jump forward a bunch of years to the child of the kid in this one? I honestly can’t remember the setup now that I think about it.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j37xXYWN7rc/

(Hate the beginning with the “help me, help me.” Also they weren’t ready, and he’s not unmasked. What a bizarre ad campaign!)

DirectorsDominique Othenin-Girard – ( Known For: Beyond Desire; After Darkness; BMT: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: From Switzerland. Evidently attempted to make a transition to Hollywood in the late-80s, but is more well known on the European indie scene.)

WritersJohn Carpenter – ( Known For: Halloween Kills; They Live; Halloween; Escape from New York; Halloween; The Fog; Escape from L.A.; Prince of Darkness; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Assault on Precinct 13; Assault on Precinct 13; Eyes of Laura Mars; Dark Star; Black Moon Rising; Future BMT: Halloween; Lockout; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween: Resurrection; BMT: Halloween II; Ghosts of Mars; Halloween III: Season of the Witch; The Fog; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Still kicking around Hollywood, although he hasn’t actually written a film since 2001’s Ghosts of Mars. He likes to make his own synth-heavy soundtracks.)

Debra Hill – ( Known For: Halloween Kills; Halloween; Halloween; The Fog; Escape from L.A.; Halloween H20: 20 Years Later; Future BMT: Halloween; Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; Halloween: Resurrection; BMT: Halloween II; The Fog; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Died in 2005, she was well known as the frequent collaborator and producer with John Carpenter on his most well known films.)

Michael Jacobs – ( Known For: Certain Fury; BMT: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Hasn’t written anything since the late-80s … that is until the upcoming documentary about the surveillance state in the United States? Yeah, that’s in post-production.)

Dominique Othenin-Girard – ( Known For: After Darkness; BMT: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Was educated in London and has directed across the globe, although most well known for his work in Switzerland.)

Shem Bitterman – ( Known For: The Job; Out of the Rain; BMT: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Trained as an actor, he also produces plays which appears to be what he is most famous for.)

ActorsDonald Pleasence – ( Known For: The Eagle Has Landed; The Great Escape; Halloween; Escape from New York; You Only Live Twice; The Greatest Story Ever Told; Phenomena; THX 1138; Fantastic Voyage; Prince of Darkness; Soldier Blue; Escape to Witch Mountain; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; Wake in Fright; The Last Tycoon; Dracula; Alone in the Dark; Malachi’s Cove; The Hallelujah Trail; Watch Out, We’re Mad; Future BMT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; BMT: Halloween II; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Started acting in the 50s, oddly in television films. Obviously became most well known for his role as Dr. Loomis in the Halloween films.)

Danielle Harris – ( Known For: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood; Free Willy; The Last Boy Scout; City Slickers; The Town That Dreaded Sundown; Stake Land; Hatchet II; See No Evil 2; Victor Crowley; Hatchet III; The Wild Thornberrys; The Victim; Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet; Camp Cold Brook; Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2; Shiver; Havenhurst; Poor White Trash; Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion; Left for Dead; Future BMT: Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead; Halloween; Marked for Death; Halloween II; Rugrats Go Wild; BMT: Urban Legend; Daylight; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Still working, including in shows like Creepshow true to her horror past.)

Ellie Cornell – ( Known For: Married to the Mob; The Specials; Room 6; Free Enterprise; All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos; The Thirst; Future BMT: House of the Dead; BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Was supposed to be in A League of Their Own but had to drop out when she became pregnant.)

Budget/Gross – $5,000,000 / Domestic: $11,642,254 (Worldwide: $11,642,254)

(Just going down and down and down. It isn’t a surprise they scrapped whatever plans they originally had for the sequel and only finally made it six years later. What a disastrous franchise performance.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 12% (3/25): Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers finds the series embracing crude slasher conventions with pedestrian scares, disposable characters, and aimless plotting.

(Spoiler alert: it always did. That was the issue. The issue was they created the best original film of the bunch and then had nowhere to go but the unstoppable killer / horrible lore route. Even the second one was a pretty nonsensical rehash of the original’s ideas.)

Reviewer Highlight: A prime example of the principle of diminishing reruns. – Richard Harrington, Washington Post

Poster – Sklogoween 5: The Revenge of Slithers the Friendly Snake

(I like this one a little better than #4. It’s a little more artistic with the knife and the girl and thankfully they made the mask a little smaller instead of weirdly huge. Still not great. C)

Tagline(s) – Michael Lives, And This Time They’re Ready! (C+)

(Yeah, OK. I can get with this one at least. This time they’re ready… sure… I mean, it’s not true, but there’s no law against a tagline being wrong, right? RIGHT?! THAT’S NOT A LAW, RIGHT?!)

Keyword(s) – killing-spree

Top 10: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011), Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021), Antlers (2021), The Dark Knight (2008), Scream (1996), Malignant (2021), Deadpool 2 (2018), Goodfellas (1990), Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 64.7 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 62.7 The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007), 61.0 When a Stranger Calls (2006), 54.4 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 45.9 Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003), 41.5 Hell Fest (2018), 41.1 The Purge (2013), 40.5 Hollow Man (2000), 40.2 The Forsaken (2001), 39.9 Ghost in the Machine (1993)

BMT: London Has Fallen (2016), Conan the Barbarian (2011), House of Wax (2005), Queen of the Damned (2002), Red Riding Hood (2011), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Friday the 13th Part III (1982), Species II (1998), Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984), Dracula 2000 (2000), Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

Matches: Halloween (2018), Friday the 13th Part III (1982), Idle Hands (1999), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Christmas Evil (1980), Silent Rage (1982), Meeting Evil (2012), Who’s Watching Oliver (2017), Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Part 2 (1996), Dahmer vs. Gacy (2010), Heavy Mental: A Rock-n-Roll Blood Bath (2009)

(I should have just done Halloween again. Let’s see though, When a Stranger Calls is definitely one of those films we should have watched six years ago and still haven’t. Same goes for Hollow Man, which is a real weird film.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 15) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Donald Pleasence is No. 1 billed in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers and No. 2 billed in Halloween II, which also stars Jamie Lee Curtis (No. 1 billed) who is in Christmas with the Kranks (No. 2 billed) which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 15. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – After filming for two weeks, Donald Pleasence gave his much bigger trailer to Danielle Harris once he left set. Harris’s mother had been complaining about the small size of her daughter’s trailer and Pleasence decided that she should have his.

Despite the subtitle “The Revenge of Michael Myers” which appears on all movie covers and posters, it does not appear in the actual film. It only says “Halloween 5” in the opening credits.

Lowest grossing film in the entire series.

Don Shanks was originally set to wear the same mask that George P. Wilbur had worn in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) in order to retain consistency between the movies. The mask did not fit Shanks, so a new one was made.

KNB Effects had designed grotesque facial makeup for Michael Myers’ unmasking toward the end of the film. The producers told them to do so as an option, either showing Michael’s badly scarred face or keep it in the dark. They went for the latter.

The old hermit from the opening scene was originally scripted as a younger man named “Dr. Death” who had a fascination with the occult. His shack was supposed to be filled with ancient runes and tablets, and he attempted to bring Michael back to life after finding him. This scene was filmed, and can be seen in Inside ‘Halloween 5’ (2000).

The film’s first screenplay, which was written by Shem Bitterman, featured Jamie Lloyd and Michael Myers as dual antagonists, with a now-teenage Jamie going on a killing spree of her own, Myers attempting to kill her because she was unwittingly interfering with his own spree, and Rachel being caught in the middle. Executive producer Moustapha Akkad disliked the screenplay, feeling it felt more like a parody of the Halloween series than an actual entry in it, and also because he had already promised Danielle Harris that she would be allowed to return as Jamie, and did not think that the 12-year-old Harris would be credible as a serial killer. As a result, the screenplay was rewritten essentially from scratch by Michael Jacobs and director Dominique Othenin-Girard, though Bitterman remained credited for contractual reasons.

Donald Pleasence was very vocal about his dissatisfaction with the story and with the way director Dominique Othenin – Girard was trying to get him to play Dr Loomis as totally heavy and overbearing. Pleasence also felt that the success and the shock ending of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) was not being capitalized on.

In the script, Rachel had Tina’s role, and Tina had Rachel’s, with a vast change in character for Rachel. Also the script had a scene in the Myers’ house that had The Shape fall through the floor into a cage in the basement, and the end had Michael escaping with Sheriff Meeker finding an empty cell, and other drafts had Meeker dying.

Footage was added to the beginning of the movie (from that previously used near the ending of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers) to show that Michael had actually fallen down a nearby mineshaft rather than just being “swallowed by the ground.”

The film had been fighting an X rating with the violence, blood, and gore. Some scenes were trimmed down to keep it rated R, including a shot of Mike quivering on the ground after Michael stabs him in the head with a hand rake, a shot of glass embedded in Officer Eddy’s face after Michael punches through the windshield, and Billy’s leg being hit by the Camaro, the scythe that kills Samantha was originally supposed to go through her forehead.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers Preview

Mud splashes in Young Jamie’s face and Jamie and Patrick fist bump and laugh as they watch the dirt mingle with his tears. The youngsters hopped on their own motorbikes in an attempt to battle their older counterparts’ sick moves. Alas, without the years of professional dance under their belts they couldn’t keep up. “Who… who are you guys?” asks Young Patrick, sniffling sadly at his own lack of motorbike skillz. Patrick throws up his hands. The youngsters shouldn’t worry about who they are. “The short and sweet of it is that we are who you could become if you learn the three R’s: reading, writing, and total radness.” Boom. A look of wonder and self-reflection cross the faces of the younger versions of themselves. They predator high five and vow to read, write, and be super rad by being kind and inclusive to others. Boy, that was easy. Jamie and Patrick nod at each other and prepare to head back to the time machine. They were certain this would take at least eight or nine short adventures to achieve their goal. “Hey wait,” the youngsters say, “Aren’t you going to stick around for dinner?” Patrick is about to explain that they don’t make it a habit to dine with children because they are adults and kids are boring when Young Jamie chimes in, “Yeah, and then afterwards is trick-or-treating!” Jamie and Patrick look at each other in shock, a shared feeling about this moment flooding back to them. They may have turned their lives around with their rad tricks and sage advice, but something about Young Jamie’s words make them think they have one more thing left to do. Halloween, late 90’s, tricks and/or treats… something monstrous is on the horizon. That’s right! We’re heading on through another horror franchise and boooooyyyyy howdy do I love franchises. Halloween might be the most critically disappointing of the major franchises. Started at the highest of highs and then really tanked starting with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. And that’s where we start and pick up a bonus in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Both under 90 minutes. Let’s go!

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) – BMeTric: 38.4; Notability: 28

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.4%; Notability: top 12.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.0%; Higher BMeT: Mac and Me, Caddyshack II, Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach, Poltergeist III, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, Johnny Be Good, Alien from L.A., Arthur 2: On the Rocks, My Stepmother Is an Alien, Big Top Pee-wee, Cocoon: The Return, Red Scorpion, Critters 2, Return of the Killer Tomatoes!, Hot to Trot, Two Moon Junction; Higher Notability: Action Jackson, Sunset, High Spirits, Caddyshack II, Big Top Pee-wee, My Stepmother Is an Alien, Cocoon: The Return, Moving, The Couch Trip, License to Drive, Vibes, Cocktail, Arthur 2: On the Rocks, Hot to Trot, The Seventh Sign, Mac and Me, Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach, Short Circuit 2, The Presidio, Bad Dreams, and 12 more; Lower RT: Two Moon Junction, Illegally Yours, Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach, Johnny Be Good, Return of the Living Dead II, Watchers, Return of the Killer Tomatoes!, Hot to Trot, Fresh Horses, Hero and the Terror, Mac and Me, Caddyshack II, Cocktail, Dead Heat, Arthur 2: On the Rocks, Action Jackson, Vibes, The Prince of Pennsylvania, The Seventh Sign, 976-EVIL, and 14 more; Notes: The rating just keeps on rising! Pretty silly that it does, the movie isn’t very good. Man, we still have a ton of solid 1988 films to watch. What are we doing?

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Unkillable monster is back, this time mindlessly headed for his hometown to murder his niece (young Harris). Standard horror thriller is technically well made but offers little novelty.

(Maltin reviews sometimes really confuse me. Like, this one is waaaaay shorter than most any review, and yet he can’t be bothered to put commas in places or add a “The” to the start of the review? He peppers semicolons all over his reviews, and then gets precious with commas? Just bizarre stuff. Oh the review? Yeah, sounds about right.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SpDZ1eErzM/

(Decent trailer. Shows enough to know you are going to get the kills you expect from the 1988 horror landscape, but also an interesting take on reintroducing Myers to the franchise.)

DirectorsDwight H. Little – ( Known For: Tekken; The Last Rampage; Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home; Rapid Fire; Bloodstone; Getting Even; KGB: The Secret War; Future BMT: Marked for Death; Murder at 1600; The Phantom of the Opera; BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid; Notes: Ended up being a big television director, including 23 episodes of Bones. Seems like he’s been retired since 2018.)

WritersDhani Lipsius – ( BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Notes: Produced the Butterfly Effect DVD extras, and was an assistant on Cheers in 1983.)

Larry Rattner – ( BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Notes: Mostly a producer, like for the movie Far More starring Adrian Grenier.)

Benjamin Ruffner – ( BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Notes: Literally nothing about this person on IMDb, and on Variety he has only been mentioned in reference to this production.)

Alan B. McElroy – ( Known For: Wrong Turn; Fractured; Tekken; Rapid Fire; Thr3e; Future BMT: Wrong Turn; Spawn; The Perfect Guy; BMT: The Marine; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Left Behind: The Movie; Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever; Notes: A writer on Star Trek: Discovery. Still makes horror films, like Wrong Turn which came out last year. Was part of the Columbia Pictures Writing Program.)

ActorsDonald Pleasence – ( Known For: The Eagle Has Landed; The Great Escape; Halloween; Escape from New York; You Only Live Twice; The Greatest Story Ever Told; Phenomena; THX 1138; Fantastic Voyage; Prince of Darkness; Soldier Blue; Escape to Witch Mountain; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band; Wake in Fright; The Last Tycoon; Dracula; Alone in the Dark; Malachi’s Cove; The Hallelujah Trail; Watch Out, We’re Mad; Future BMT: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers; BMT: Halloween II; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Died in 1995. Nominated for an Emmy for The Defection of Simas Kudirka. I think he’s most famous as the original Blofeld in the Bond films.)

Ellie Cornell – ( Known For: Married to the Mob; The Specials; Room 6; Free Enterprise; All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos; The Thirst; Future BMT: House of the Dead; BMT: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Still working, although she took an eight year break in the 90s. Founded Mindfire Entertainment.)

Danielle Harris – ( Known For: Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood; Free Willy; The Last Boy Scout; City Slickers; The Town That Dreaded Sundown; Stake Land; Hatchet II; See No Evil 2; Victor Crowley; Hatchet III; The Wild Thornberrys; The Victim; Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet; Camp Cold Brook; Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2; Shiver; Havenhurst; Poor White Trash; Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion; Left for Dead; Future BMT: Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead; Halloween; Marked for Death; Halloween II; Rugrats Go Wild; BMT: Urban Legend; Daylight; Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers; Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers; Notes: Apparently sold the clown costume she wore in this film to a fan for his personal Halloween collection.)

Budget/Gross – $5,000,000 / Domestic: $17,768,757 (Worldwide: $17,768,757)

(I think this is just how horror films were back in the day? It is worse than the mid-franchise installments of Elm Street and Friday the 13th though. That is a shockingly low take only made palatable by the shockingly low budget.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (8/28): Halloween 4: The Return Of Michaels Myers may bring the series’ masked killer back into the fold, but fails to offer the visceral scares and inventiveness of the original.

(I mean, how can you match the inventiveness of the original when you are forced to use the same killer over and over. Isn’t that the story of Halloween 3? They tried something new, it didn’t work, the franchise falls apart in three years.)

Reviewer Highlight: It seems the latest stage in some curious evolutionary pattern; the slasher species keeps proliferating and getting weaker at the same time. – Caryn James, New York Times

Poster – Sklogoween 4: The Return of Bagpipes McGee

(Wooooah, that’s horrible. I guess I’d hang it in my room as a joke or something. It looks like a local advertisement for a mattress store or something. Gah, I have to stop looking at it. It’s growing on me with its weird giant mask. Noooooo D.)

Tagline(s) – Ten Years Ago HE Changed The Face Of Halloween. Tonight HE’S BACK! (D)

(Stupid meta-tagline. Even too long to be effective at that. May as well have just gone with the generic HE’S BACK instead.)

Keyword(s) – halloween

Top 10: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001), The Karate Kid (1984), Antlers (2021), Deadpool (2016), Silver Linings Playbook (2012), Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), Halloween Kills (2021), Rent (2005)

Future BMT: 84.1 Halloween: Resurrection (2002), 72.1 Bewitched (2005), 70.5 Halloween II (2009), 70.0 Texas Chainsaw (2013), 67.8 Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), 64.7 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 61.4 Skinwalkers (2006), 60.5 Pet Sematary II (1992), 57.0 The Next Best Thing (2000), 54.3 Hanging Up (2000)

BMT: Batman Forever (1995), The Predator (2018), Thir13en Ghosts (2001), Son of the Mask (2005), Made of Honor (2008), Halloween II (1981), Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Deadly Friend (1986), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016), Town & Country (2001)

Matches: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019), Halloween Kills (2021), Scary Movie (2000), The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), The Crow (1994), Hubie Halloween (2020), Haunt (2019), Halloween (2018), Terrifier (2016), When We First Met (2018), A Cinderella Story (2004), Monster House (2006), Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998), Hell House LLC (2015), Idle Hands (1999), Trick ‘r Treat (2007), Bad Candy (2020), Fun Size (2012), Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982), Night of the Demons (1988), Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Halloween II (2009), The Hollywood Knights (1980), Pet Sematary II (1992), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989), Hurt (2018), Stan Helsing (2009), Blood Fest (2018), All Hallows’ Eve (2013), Pay the Ghost (2015), Murder Party (2007), Night of the Demons (2009), Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016), Candy Corn (2019), Tales of Halloween (2015), Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (2017), … (and many more)

(Kind of ridiculous how few (relatively) we’ve done, but we are working on it. Hanging up sounds weird. Basically Diane Keaton, Meg Ryan, and Lisa Kudrow all don’t care that Walter Matthau is going to die … that’s the plotline.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 16) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Donald Pleasence is No. 2 billed in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and No. 2 billed in Halloween II, which also stars Jamie Lee Curtis (No. 1 billed) who is in Christmas with the Kranks (No. 2 billed) which also stars Tim Allen (No. 1 billed) who is in Jungle 2 Jungle (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 6 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (6 + 1) = 16. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Just so Danielle Harris wouldn’t be scared, George P. Wilbur would often lift up his mask between takes to remind her that they were just making a movie and that he was not really going to hurt her.

The girl Lindsey who drove Rachel and Jamie to the discount mart was going to be revealed as Lindsey Wallace from Halloween (1978) and have a larger part in the film as Rachel’s friend and helping her babysit Jamie, but that was cut for budget reasons. The third boy hanging out with Brady and Wade in the drug store was meant to be Tommy Doyle from the original film.

A scene was filmed to bridge the story with Halloween II (1981). It was a flashback to the finale of part II, with a scene where Loomis is being tended to by paramedics when he sees the burning body of The Shape. Loomis exclaims to the EMS technicians to “Let Him Burn!” but they douse the flaming body of Myers despite his pleas. This moment was added to Halloween Kills (2021) with Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) saying the line after she sets her house on fire with Michael trapped at the end of Halloween (2018).

Series creator John Carpenter wrote a treatment for this film that had a more ghostly psychological approach to the Michael Myers mythos. It concerned the town of Haddonfield and what effect the events of the first two films had on its citizens. This concept was later rejected by the producers in favor of the typical slasher fare, at which point Carpenter left out of the film, making this the first in the series to have no participation from him.

Alan B. McElroy wrote the script in 11 days and beat the writer’s strike by mere hours.

Originally, when Jamie and Loomis were trapped in the school, Jamie hid in a classroom under a desk. Michael entered searching for her, throwing the desks over. Although due to time constraints this sequence was not shot for this film, it was remembered by producer Moustapha Akkad and later re-used in Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998).

In the schoolhouse, Michael’s mask appears, briefly, with blonde hair. This mask was the original type chosen for the film. However, it was decided to go with a design with brown hair, resulting in re-shoots. The mask with brown hair was chosen to match the style seen in the first two films in the series, with the blonde-haired mask appearing only in the schoolhouse sequence.

The ambulance that transports Michael Myers was a prison bus in an earlier draft of the script. Michael escaping from a prison bus was later used 30 years later in Halloween (2018).

This film is the first time Michael Myers is credited with his name, as opposed to bring credited as “The Shape.”

1988 was the first year in which all 3 of the then top horror franchises (Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare On Elm Street) all released new films in the same year: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, and A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. Additionally, the first Child’s Play was also released in 1988, as were Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 and Phantasm 2, all of which would also become major horror franchises.

The original ending had Rachel go upstairs to take a shower and replace the dirty, blood-stained clothes she was wearing only to have Jamie sneak up behind her and stab her to death. This scene was later changed to Darlene Caruthers but this scene was remembered for Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) and was used for Rachel’s death scene.

Supercross Recap

Jamie

My god, I didn’t realize that they had already made a biopic about me and Patrick’s lives. Two young gun supercross stars on the rise, one play-it-safe, the other throw-caution-to-the-wind, and both with talent and bravado to spare. Now of course I saw through their thinly veiled supercross symbolism to the bad movie twins metaphor underneath. Because obviously writing these posts each week is a bit like thrashing some sweet jumps on a motorbike (as one says). And just like they showed in the film, ultimately we came out on top (i.e made a website that everyone reads) and got a couple babes along the way. Did Patrick get recruited by a big time website to write safe, lame reviews while a different person got all the credit? Not exactly. Did I, the bad boy of the pair, sign on as an independent bad movie writer and seriously injure myself while protecting Patrick from a rival writer out for blood? Not the case. Did we then team up to win THE BIG RACE and take the bad movie game by storm? Most definitely. So you see, basically the same.

Now if they had asked for our opinions ahead of time they may have not created something so, how should I put this… not a movie… it’s not a movie. Supercross is just a series of images of supercross races glued together with sports film cliche. Were there any good things about it? Well, it certainly had some supercross and, as the Point Break remake proved, some visual dazzle of sports I don’t typically watch can make for some fun. In particular the brothers go one about the dream of winning THE BIG RACE as an independent rider and it’s something I didn’t know anything about, so that was interesting. I also thought the actresses in it were solid. Besides that though, it was clearly made by someone who had no business making a big budget feature (and hasn’t since) and as a result it feels more like a TV movie or straight-to-video fare. I can’t tell if I loved it as a BMT. It definitely had the making for it. But it also feels almost like it qualified for BMT by accident, by some quirk of the release schedule. While I mull that over I’ll give you a drinking game for Supercross:

  • Either of the brothers lose a race (1 drink. In fact the film should be called Race Losers cause they spend almost the entire film losing races both big and small)
  • Channing Tatum looks totally fly (1 drink. Which is always, so whenever he’s on screen)
  • The word “Nami” is uttered (2 drinks. There is only one thing better than a product placement, and that’s a fake product placement)
  • They mention that K.C. is a real safe rule-follower (2 drinks. Rulez are coolz so we at BMTHQ are big time K.C. heads)
  • K.C. breaks the rules! (3 drinks. Rulez are coolz, but sometimes rules are meant to be broken)
  • Tyler Evans tells someone that they’re definitely “going to pay for that” (3 drinks, and no, no one ever really pays for it other than Tyler himself)
  • Papa Johns! (when the boys order Papa Johns, you also order Papa Johns. And no cheating, you have to order exactly what they got)

Been a while since I enjoyed making one of those. Patrick?

Patrick

Hello everyone! Supercross? More like Stupidcross, amirite? What is with short films and bad boys with hearts of gold? Because Trip has a heart of gold out the wazoo in this film! His brother on the other hand loves rules and is just a stickler for them … wait a tic, is this the bad movie twins biography?! I don’t remember being a motocross legend. But perhaps motocross is a metaphor for bad movies … Anyways, on with the ‘pinions!

  • I’m not sure there is anything good about the film. Even the relationships in the film devolve down to frankly saying “yeah women can’t really be motocross stars, be the pit crew for your boyfriend” and “you’re a lawyer? Well you ‘belong’ to your motocross boyfriend just like us honey!” But I liked the two actresses at least.
  • The movie is barely a movie. Literally 80 minutes flat (with credits). That is just screaming “we are desperately trying to hit feature length.”
  • Young Channing Tatum is a dick yo.
  • Tyler Evans, congratulations, you’re in the running for the top 10 biggest BMT villains. Imagine the BMTFI Top 10 Villians and it is just obscure characters like Tyler Evans. He isn’t even a character, he plays himself!
  • Fun fact: Tyler Evans gets beat the F out like three times by the Carlyle bros in motocross and never gets his revenge. He keeps coming over on his bike being like “watch out KC I’m totes going to knock you off your bike next race” and then he never manages to do it! Still a top 10 villain though.
  • Some of the best Product Placement (What?) we’ve ever seen, and not just for motocross itself, but at one point the brothers scream at each other “PAPA JOHN’S!!!!” and then one of them goes on to describe in meticulous detail their pizza order including insisting upon multiple garlic butter sauces.
  • Otherwise it is just a kind of okay Setting as a Character (Where?) film for California. And then … I mean, just look at at this recap! This is definitely a BMT film through and through in my opinion.
  • Oh and the IMDb plot is “Faced with the suspicious death of their father, two brothers must motivate one another to get back on their bikes and take the Las Vegas Motocross Championships by storm.” … Yeah, their father is just dead in the beginning, there is no mention of a suspicious death or anything.

It definitely will have me thinking about it for a few hours. I think if I had my druthers I would pitch Netflix a prequel series called Supercross: Brotherhood. It is about the Carlyles’ father and Earl Cole in their motorcycle gang the Ravens and they are getting in a whole mess of trouble. They do crime as their day job, and then on Saturday they hit the track, and on Monday they hit the gym (broooo). They’re best of buds and that’s confusing because in the movie Earl is like “I kind of remember your father maybe …”, but you build that into the story, like a secret pact to never tell their children. And in the end their father died suspiciously (thus retconning the IMDb plotline into existence!). I’d watch it. Like a worse Sons of Anarchy. Cheerios, and back to you Jamie!

Supercross Quiz

Oh man, so I was the bad boy of motocross (natch) and really wanted to take out this goodie two shoes KC Carlyle, but man, instead I took myself out and sustained a massive concussion. I don’t remember a thing. Do you remember what happened in Supercross?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Trip and KC live and breathe motocross. But that isn’t their day jobs, what do they do to make actual money?

2) Trip is in full meltdown mode when KC gets a factory ride with Nami. At a bar he decides to challenge a motorcyclist to a race. What do they race for and who wins?

3) Trip and Piper start to get preeeeeeeeeeetty friendly. And their father’s used to know each other. What deal does Piper’s father offer Trip to get him in the big race?

4) Prior to the big race Trip gets into a big accident while protecting KC from a dirty rider. What injuries does he sustain?

5) Why does KC quit Nami?

Bonus Question: Mid-credit we see the brothers celebrating their huge win in a bar when a shadow approaches. Who shows up and why?

Answers

Supercross Preview

Jamie and Patrick stare wide eyes as they witness Young Jamie and Young Patrick approach the group of kids throwing their comic books to the side. They proceed to let the kids know that this is their turf and to “skedaddle tout de suite, daddio” (as all the kids were saying). For a moment it seems like things might actually turn out OK. “Aw, look, Young Patrick is letting that one kid know that he happens to have something on his shirt,” Jamie says hopefully. But psych! There wasn’t anything on his shirt at all! What a ruse! He quickly runs his finger up the kids shirt and flicks them right in the nose. “Oh no, we’re total dicks!” exclaims Jamie in despair and Patrick watches sadly as Young Jamie and Young Patrick gleefully predator high five in the wake of the fleeing kids. “What are we going to do?” shouts Jamie, grabbing Patrick by the shirt, “that poor child had nothing at all on his shirt! Nothing!” He’s now sobbing uncontrollably as he rends his clothes in anguish. “No wonder we would be mistaken for terrorists,” Jamie says, wiping his nose, “we basically already were terrorists. That poor kid just didn’t want to have anything on his shirt. And what did he get for checking? A finger flick in the nose.” Jamie curls into a ball, ready to die for his sins. “No!” shouts Patrick. “I don’t accept that we are little assholes,” he says resolutely. “B-but what are we going to do?” Jamie sniffles sadly. Patrick looks around and his gaze alights on a couple of rad dirtbikes. “Time to take these kids downtown and show them what it’s like.” With that, Jamie and Patrick hop onto the dirtbikes and zoom down the hill. That’s right! It feels like it’s been a while since we saw a true blue sports film. Enter Supercross, the supercross film that took the country by storm. It gave the people what they wanted: less than 90 minutes of sweet, sweet supercross action. Let’s go!

Supercross (2005) – BMeTric: 46.5; Notability: 23

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 13.6%; Notability: top 30.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 2.0%; Higher BMeT: Son of the Mask, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D, xXx: State of the Union, Boogeyman, Elektra, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Bewitched, A Sound of Thunder, Are We There Yet?, The Crow: Wicked Prayer, The Dukes of Hazzard, Stealth, Cursed, Doom, Dirty Love, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, An American Haunting, and 14 more; Higher Notability: The Island, Fantastic Four, Kingdom of Heaven, Bewitched, Domino, Be Cool, Fun with Dick and Jane, xXx: State of the Union, Memoirs of a Geisha, Chicken Little, The Longest Yard, The Great Raid, Son of the Mask, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, Stealth, Cursed, The Ring Two, Flightplan, The Dukes of Hazzard, Rumor Has It…, and 56 more; Lower RT: The Crow: Wicked Prayer, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, The Fog, Chaos; Notes: Really fun plot, a rare one which was released at the perfect time for the archive to get it all the way from zero votes and when IMDb itself was much less popular as a platform. The RT score is obviously the bit bit of cred here. And we’ve only seen two of the five worse ones, embarrassing for us.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Also known as Supercross the Movie (for those who need things spelled out), this film presents a thin plot about two disparate brothers who are suddenly thrust into the world of hyper-competitive uber-bike championships after the mysterious death of their father. One of the boys is sponsored, which allowed plenty of opportunity to hawk everything from motor oil to tires. Product placement never had it so good. A lame-brained ESPN program passing for a movie.

(Product. Placement. Never. Had. It. So. Good. … That’s a lot to live up to Leonard, you best not be joshing me. And disparate brothers? Uber-bike championships? A mysterious death of a father these disparate brothers loves (oh boy do I hope one of them had a complicated relationship with him!). I’m very very excited.)

Trailer –  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4p16x6zEsc

(Uh … what the hell is this? HOLY SHIT, I’m already in love with this nonsense. Are all of these people like … actual motocross people? I sure hope so, because that would be some hilarious acting.)

DirectorsSteve Boyum – ( Future BMT: Meet the Deedles; BMT: Supercross; Notes: An interesting cross of being a stunt coordinator and then, later, a pretty major television director. He directed eight episodes of Lethal Weapon, and nine of Supernatural among many others. He is, in fact, a motor-cross racer.)

WritersKen Solarz – ( Known For: City of Industry; BMT: Supercross; Notes: Mostly writes for television. Most recently he wrote fourteen episodes of the new Hawaii Five-0. He produces with Wild Child Productions.)

Bart Baker – ( Known For: Live Wire; BMT: Supercross; Notes: He mostly wrote television movies. He also is maybe a writer as a film called Honeymoon with Harry is coming out where he is credited with writing the novel.)

Keith Alan Bernstein – ( BMT: Supercross; Notes: Literally nothing about this person. I bet he is an amateur motor-cross racer who penned a script that was then handed over to screenwriters.)

ActorsSteve Howey – ( Known For: Stuber; Game Over, Man!; DOA: Dead or Alive; Stan Helsing; In Your Eyes; See You in Valhalla; Wrong Cops; Conception; Making Babies; Unleashed; Losing Control; BMT: Something Borrowed; Bride Wars; Supercross; Notes: Was in over one hundred episodes of Shameless, and way back when over a hundred episodes of Reba.)

Mike Vogel – ( Known For: The Help; Cloverfield; Blue Valentine; She’s Out of My League; The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants; Secret Obsession; Battle of the Sexes; Havoc; The Case for Christ; The Boy; Across the Hall; The Deaths of Ian Stone; McCanick; Caffeine; Open Graves; Jake Squared; Heaven’s Rain; Future BMT: What’s Your Number?; BMT: Fantasy Island; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Poseidon; Rumor Has It…; Grind; Supercross; Notes: Y’all know Mike Vogel. Oh, maybe you don’t. He starred in Grind. He’s done a decent number of television shows over the years (like Under the Dome) and still gets bit parts in things (he was a dancer in Battle of the Sexes).)

Sophia Bush – ( Known For: Incredibles 2; Marshall; False Positive; Acts of Violence; Chalet Girl; Hard Luck Love Song; Table for Three; The Narrows; Future BMT: Van Wilder; John Tucker Must Die; The Hitcher; Stay Alive; BMT: Supercross; Notes: Was in over eighty episodes of Chicago P.D. She was briefly married to Chad Michael Murray, and apparently is an avid beekeeper.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $3,102,550 (Worldwide: $3,344,431)

(Holy cow, that is horrendous. There is no way this cost $30 million. I bet they are piling in all of the sponsorships they got for all this and not really accounting for the fact that 90% of the production was completely paid for before anything was shot. Still horrendous.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 5% (4/74): While it showcases some cool stunts, Supercross feels like an infomercial for its titular sport, with undeveloped characters and a shopworn plot.

(I mean … yeah, that’s what the trailer looks like. I think this used to be more common in the 80s. I feel like there used to be skiing movies that would just be like “skiing is fun … also here are some shootouts on the slopes to keep you entertained, but also look at these vistas.”)

Reviewer Highlight: A brand-encrusted infomercial. – Scott Brown, Entertainment Weekly

Poster – Dirtbike Dudes Deluxe

(This poster is aggressive. I feel like it’s telling me I better like supercross or else I’m pretty much donzo. I love the font and like that they really went for it in the framing. The color scheme is god awful. Look at that white background and rest is basically sepia? Hurting my eyes. C+)

Tagline(s) – Fear nothing. Risk everything. (B)

(Alright, a little generic but I’m picking up what they are putting down. I think if they just added a third part that added a little supercross flair to the whole thing I might have really dug it.)

Keyword(s) – extreme-sport

Top 10: Mid90s (2018), Along Came Polly (2004), Blue Crush (2002), Lords of Dogtown (2005), Whip It (2009), Rad (1986), North Hollywood (2021), Chasing Mavericks (2012), Rollerball (2002), Orange County (2002)

Future BMT: 33.7 Along Came Polly (2004), 7.0 Chasing Mavericks (2012)

BMT: Rollerball (2002), Supercross (2005)

Matches: Rollerball (2002)

(Love it. The plot is a bit lame, but still fun to look at the last (real) one left in Chasing Mavericks. A Gerard Butler film we’ve inexplicably not seen? Yes please.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Mike Vogel is No. 2 billed in Supercross and No. 3 billed in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which also stars Jessica Biel (No. 1 billed) who is in New Year’s Eve (No. 4 billed) which also stars Robert De Niro (No. 1 billed) who is in Righteous Kill (No. 1 billed) which also stars Al Pacino (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 3) + (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch Blade: Trinity, Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 16.

Notes – The “450 Nami” bikes, ridden by K.C and Rowdy, are in fact just dressed up Honda 450’s. (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

The exterior shots of the Team Nami building are actually the Kawasaki Motorcycle Headquarters formerly located in Irvine, California. They did not, however, have a private test track next to the property.

Alana Austin also starred in the DCOM Motorcrossed.

Meatballs Part II Recap

Jamie

I think the sudden change in format deserves some explanation. For everyone who is reading each entry in the Bad Movie Twins saga with bated breath it should come as no surprise that the film recaps appears to have gone… back in time! Back in time to a shorter, sweeter time in BMT. So it just begs one question…

Are you ready for the summer? Are you ready for the sunshine… [record scratch] Not so fast it’s more like We’ve Been Waiting for the Summer. A film theme song so terrible that there is no evidence of it on the internet. I can’t even find the lyrics to make some joke about it. So a very worthy introduction to Meatballs II, a film that also should have all evidence of it scrubbed from the internet. They then launch you into a plot that is so startlingly similar to Meatballs that you can’t possibly believe it was actually conceived as something other than a sequel to Meatballs (as the director claims). That is until you remember that every camp film basically has the same plot as Meatballs: Loner not interested in participating in camp life? Check. Rival camp of TOTAL JERKS set to compete in some intercamp championship? Check. Loner participates in championship and wins? Check. A vaguely jewish extraterrestrial shows up and everyone turns out to be pretty cool about it? Uh…hold on a second. A series of incredibly homophobic remarks by the rival camp director? Well definitely not that part.

You get the drift. The movie is real bad and real cheap and basically didn’t have anything we like in terms of settings and junk. Honestly the best of the bunch is an unexpected appearance by Donald Gibb a.k.a. Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds who technically was an athlete-turned-actor. Always a treat when Ogre shows up. With that I’m going to play a little game this week called Vocab Quiz where I’ll highlight some of the new terms I learned from those bubblegum poppin’ rad teens/30-somethings of Meatballs II:

  • Pinky – a term for penis that we had to hear over and over and over (and over) again in the film. It’s a term I never want to hear again, thank you very much.
  • Dork – you might think you know what dork means, but you don’t. It’s also a term for a penis! That’s right! I try to learn something new every day and that is certainly something new. Look it up, it’s real.
  • S-E-X – A subject not discussed in polite company, but who’s lack of knowledge will lead a group of young ladies to make a pledge to see a pinky and/or dork by the end of camp.

I’ll spare you the many terms used to insult large swaths of the population. Patrick?

Patrick

Hello everyone! Meatballs Part II? More like Bad Call, Fart Too! Amirite? You’re welcome for me not using something about my balls there by the way. Just like Meatballs this installment has boxing, bad boys with hearts of gold, a military themed summer camp, and a French chef serving dead horses to children … wait a tic, Meatballs didn’t have any of that!! Where’s Rudy the Rabbit you bastards?! Let’s get on with the ‘pinions:

  • To start I’ll just say that this film isn’t a sequel to Meatballs. For sure this was a comedy made on the cheap by writers from Friday the 13th who thought they could do the same thing: write and direct a film in a few days for a million dollars and make a good return.
  • Coach Giddy was a fun character. Understanding, and tricky, and smart. The strong “camp leader” character contrasts nicely with Morty from the original.
  • Bad boys with hearts of gold. I’m not even going to tell you if that is good or bad you decide for yourself.
  • Uh … aliens anyone? This film has aliens. Did no one tell you that? It is a huuuuuuge part of the film. His name is Meathead. He lives in an old outhouse for a while. He wanders around and no one really notices he’s there most of the time. This is real, this is the storyline for the Meatballs sequel.
  • The film ends with the bad boy using his heart of gold (and the alien’s psychic powers) to fly around and beat up Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds while wearing a dress. Hundreds of people witness human levitation, and their biggest takeaway is “Flash wore a dress?!” They seemingly just bounce the next day.
  • Kind of sucks for superlatives. Only really a small Product Placement (What?) for a few shots of old school Mountain Dew here and there. Ultimately mostly a Bad film in the end.
  • Just to note, Leonard Maltin somehow gave this film a better review than Meatballs. WHAT?! But Meatballs is a classic … right? Well, I just had to watch it again and I have to say, it isn’t a very funny movie. The Rudy storyline is interesting but not really comedic, more sad. The only thing going for it is Bill Murray. He’s a tour de force. But he legitimately just has no one to work off of. The film is fun, but I can see Maltin’s point. It is a very weird “comedy”. Like the last third of Stripes. It is amusing, and I love it, but it isn’t really funny.

I’ll just leave you with mentioning that it is kind of weird that Meatballs hasn’t been attempted as a Netflix series. I feel like Wet Hot American Summer shows there is some appetite for funny comedy camp movies. But … I kind of fear it’ll end up being like Meatballs: Camp TikTok or something and totally ruin it.

Cheerios,

The Sklogs

Meatballs Part II Quiz

Oh man, so get this. Everyone else got injured by the eeeeeevil Camp Patton and so I had to fight in the big boxing match. Naturally I got punched in the head a bunch and sustained a massive concussion. Now I can’t remember a thing! Do you remember what happened in Meatballs Part II?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Why is Flash the Bash going to Camp Sasquatch? 

2) Why is Flash recruited to the boxing team for the big fight against Camp Patton?

3) Why does the alien (yup, not joking) visit Camp Sasquatch? Where does it hide while it is here?

4) Why is Camp Sasquatch going to lose access to the lake? And how do they try and stop it from happening?

5) After a covert mission to Camp Sasquatch, Flash is captured (oh no!!) and left naked in Camp Patton. What clothing does he end up wearing to the big fight?

Bonus Question: In the mid-credits sequence (which is a bizarre 35 year flash forward) what do we see happens to the camp?

Answers

Meatballs Part II Preview

“So we are in the past,” Jamie says with wonder, thinking back on all the adventures they had in the gardens of the water reclamation plant. Everything was so simple and uncomplicated. Just a couple of scamps running around causing chaos, pretending they were saving the world. Their eyes fill with tears at the memory. Who would have thought that all these years later they actually would be saving the world? And even crazier, that they would find it so boring that they’d risk their lives, risk all time and space, by going back in time on a new adventure they barely understand. They look at each other, the tears now spilling down their cheeks. “We’ve made a terrible mistake, we shouldn’t be here,” Patrick says quietly and Jamie agrees, but before they can head back to the time machine they hear a noise in the clearing down below. Crouching down, they see the younger versions of themselves running through the brush. They are carrying some comic books and arguing over the latest issue. “What was it we used to read?” Jamie asks in a whisper. Patrick smiles at the thought that Jamie could forget their favorite weekly comic series, Bad Movie Thursday. It’s not like they invented watching bad movies. They just turned it into a billion dollar franchise and legions of fans across the world (including Antarctica, duh). Just as Young Jamie and Young Patrick’s argument reaches a crescendo a few more kids come out of the brush and stop dead at the sight of Jamie and Patrick. Jamie and Patrick frown. “I don’t remember these kids, do you?” Jamie asks and Patrick nods slightly, mesmerized and horrified by what he knows comes next. “Yo, you meatballs, what are you doing on our turf,” Young Patrick yells. That’s right! We’re diving in on our short and sweet cycle with the second entry in a beloved series from our youth, Meatballs II. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve seen Meatballs. I can tell you how many times I’ve seen Meatballs II. That would be zero. Soon to be one. Let’s go!

Meatballs Part II (1984) – BMeTric: 38.5; Notability: 24

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 3.6%; Notability: top 10.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 0.0%; Higher BMeT: Supergirl, Ghoulies, Rhinestone, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Bolero, Cannonball Run II, Children of the Corn, Missing in Action, Sheena; Higher Notability: Cannonball Run II, Supergirl, City Heat, Protocol, Mrs. Soffel, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, The River, Unfaithfully Yours, Conan the Destroyer, The Woman in Red, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Firstborn, Sheena, American Dreamer, The Ice Pirates, Rhinestone, Reckless, Exterminator 2, C.H.U.D., Maria’s Lovers, and 7 more; Notes: We’ve been doing a lot of research into how to determine if pre-1985 films qualify, and I think really it comes down to if the film had a New York Times film review. Amazingly Meatballs 2 did. And all of those with higher BMeTrics did as well. Phew, we can finally start really watching early 1980s garbage.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  In-name-only sequel throws everything from Jewish aliens from to From Here to Eternity take-off, as the fate of Camp Sasquatch rides on a boxing match against nearby Camp Patton (“Where Outdoor Living Molds Killers”). Slightly better than its predecessor (which isn’t saying much).

(Whaaaaaaaaaa? The original Meatballs is a classic! Wait … I’m starting to get a feeling Leonard Maltin didn’t watch Meatballs 500 times on Comedy Central when they were 10-years-old.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01ILPQLKWsY

(I don’t think there is a real trailer online. Just clips. This is as close as it is going to get. And it looks awful. Interesting to see John Larroquette, who was playing a similar character in the Bill Murray film, Stripes.)

DirectorsKen Wiederhorn – ( Known For: Eyes of a Stranger; Shock Waves; Dark Tower; A House in the Hills; Future BMT: Return of the Living Dead II; BMT: Meatballs Part II; Notes: He directed seven episodes of the, frankly terrible, Nightmare on Elm Street television series. Dropped out of college and started as the mail boy at CBS before working himself up to a film writer and director.)

WritersMartin Kitrosser – ( Known For: Facing the Enemy; Model Behavior; BMT: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter; Friday the 13th Part III; Friday the 13th: A New Beginning; Meatballs Part II; Notes: I have to imagine that his connection to Friday the 13th was the inspiration for what seemed to have started as a Meatballs knockoff and then became a Meatballs sequel.)

Carol Watson – ( BMT: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter; Friday the 13th Part III; Meatballs Part II; Notes: Was a staff writer for South Park for at least a bit. Also part of the Friday the 13th writing team clearly, so I imagine her and Kitrosser made the original script.)

Bruce Franklin Singer – ( Known For: The Killing Time; BMT: Meatballs Part II; Notes: Mostly a television writer, including 16 episodes of Subset Beach. I would guess he is the person they hired to rework and punch up the script a bit.)

ActorsRichard Mulligan – ( Known For: The Group; The Undefeated; From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler; Oliver & Company; Little Big Man; S.O.B.; Love with the Proper Stranger; Teachers; Scavenger Hunt; The Big Bus; Micki + Maude; 40 Pounds of Trouble; One Potato, Two Potato; Doin’ Time; Visit to a Chief’s Son; Future BMT: The Heavenly Kid; Trail of the Pink Panther; A Fine Mess; BMT: Meatballs Part II; Notes: Brother of Robert Mulligan who directed To Kill a Mockingbird. He won an Emmy for Empty Nest, and died in 2000.)

Hamilton Camp – ( Known For: The Little Mermaid; Dick Tracy; Starcrash; Heaven Can Wait; Doctor Dolittle; S.O.B.; Titanic; Eating Raoul; My Cousin Rachel; Bird; Evilspeak; No Small Affair; Under Fire; The Black Shield of Falworth; Nickelodeon; Dark City; All Night Long; Arena; Executive Suite; Kim; Future BMT: Joe Dirt; City Heat; Almost Heroes; All Dogs Go to Heaven 2; The Pebble and the Penguin; Young Doctors in Love; Gordy; BMT: Meatballs Part II; Notes: British, he was evacuated to the US during World War II when he was a child. He died in 2005. He is notable for being relatively short, five foot two inches.)

John Mengatti – ( Known For: Tag: The Assassination Game; Knights of the City; Dead Men Don’t Die; Hadley’s Rebellion; BMT: Meatballs Part II; Notes: Has a pretty solid television career in the early 80s, including 34 episodes of The White Shadow. His career didn’t take off in the 90s, and he stopped acting in the early 2000s.)

Budget/Gross – N/A / Domestic: $5,410,972 (Worldwide: $5,410,972)

(These are the reasons we have to look into some of these films. You can’t make $5 million without being widely released, but there also are often not good numbers for anything prior to 1985. This seems like a bad return though, even for a minor comedy.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 0% (0/2)

(Hard to make a consensus with two reviews. Does this qualify? We think so. The issue can be that some reviews are, for whatever reason, not available. Here it suggests there are at least 4 other publications reported on Meatballs II, but unfortunately none seem to be available online.)

Reviewer Highlight: Pallid writing, awkward acting, familiar situations and tired jokes make the morons, wimps and losers of ”Meatballs Part II” easy to pass up. – Lawrence Van Gelder, New York Times

Poster – Sklogballs II

(I love 80’s posters. The complicated drawings of comedies like the Police Academy films. This one is a little underwhelming. Even the poster artist seemed to realize there was only so much to this film to draw. All that said, still got that 80’s artistry. B.)

Tagline(s) – The insanity continues… (D)

(Ah well, this is not good. Such a lack of creativity when it comes to sequels. Probably because they know that a tagline isn’t hooking anyone who isn’t already hooked by the concept of another Meatballs. Sigh.)

Keyword(s) – summer-camp

Top 10: Lolita (1997), Wonder (2017), The Parent Trap (1998), A Simple Favor (2018), Before Sunrise (1995), Friday the 13th (1980), Addams Family Values (1993), Friday the 13th (2009), Fear Street: Part Two – 1978 (2021), Mask (1985)

Future BMT: 77.9 Daddy Day Camp (2007), 62.8 Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004), 59.3 Agent Cody Banks (2003), 31.7 It Takes Two (1995), 29.2 The Story of Us (1999), 28.5 Fired Up! (2009), 27.7 Wonder Park (2019), 21.6 Camp Nowhere (1994), 12.8 Heavyweights (1995)

BMT: Friday the 13th (2009), Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984), Jason X (2001), Sleepaway Camp (1983), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985), Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993), Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989), Meatballs Part II (1984)

Matches: The Parent Trap (1998), Friday the 13th (1980), Addams Family Values (1993), Sleepaway Camp (1983), The Burning (1981), Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), Little Darlings (1980), Rim of the World (2019), The Baby-Sitters Club (1995), Camp Nowhere (1994), Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988), Ernest Goes to Camp (1987), The Story of Us (1999), Indian Summer (1993), Standing Up (2013), The First Turn-On!! (1983), Cheerleader Camp (1988), Daddy Day Camp (2007), Recess: School’s Out (2001), Gorp (1980), Meatballs Part II (1984), Madman (1981), Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986), Happy Campers (2001), My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Legend of Everfree (2016), Party Camp (1987), The Rainbow Tribe (2008), Family Plan (1997), Twisted Nightmare (1987), Camp Dread (2014), Camp Takota (2014), Camp (2013), Summerhood (2008), Caesar and Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre (2009), Porkchop (2010), Camp Stories (1996), Camp Harlow (2014), Darkest Hour (2005), Geronimo (1990), Sasquatch (2017)

(My god, we haven’t watched Heavyweights for BMT yet? How dare we. Amazingly this is the last 80s summer camp film we needed to watch for BMT, and yet we have watched basically none of the 90s summer camp films.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 40) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: John Larroquette is No. 3 billed in Meatballs Part II and No. 18 billed in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, which also stars Jordana Brewster (No. 1 billed) who is in Fast & Furious (No. 4 billed) which also stars Vin Diesel (No. 1 billed) who is in Babylon A.D. (No. 1 billed) which also stars Michelle Yeoh (No. 2 billed) who is in Mechanic: Resurrection (No. 4 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (3 + 18) + (1 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 4) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 40. If we were to watch Blind Date, Nights in Rodanthe, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 17.

Notes – Misty Rowe wore a heavily padded bra in order to play the top heavy Fanny.

The film was never intended as a sequel to Meatballs. When the studio picked it up they changed the name to Meatballs Part II, much to the surprise of director Ken Wiederhorn.

The horror film that the kids watch is Shock Waves (1977), also directed by Ken Wiederhorn.

Cheryl (‘Richards, Kim’) is asked if she comes from another planet (due to her lack of experience with boys). Cheryl replies that she sort of is. Richards played a young alien girl, marooned on earth, in two Disney movies: Escape to Witch Mountain (1975), and Return from Witch Mountain (1978).