Fathers’ Day Preview

“I don’t understand, what did we do?” Jamie says, scratching his head, “You just crushed the two Time Cops that were about to kill us.” Lou Cash is startled, but when he looks down to see the crushed remains of the Time Cops he waves it off as irrelevant. “Fiddle-faddle. You were about to do a sick twin forward flip and knock the guns out of their hands anyway. The point is you made it here, exactly when and where I landed my fully functional deconvolution machine.” Jamie and Patrick and the gang shrug and high five. Jamie and Patrick have been known to kick guns out of their enemies’ hands with twin forward flips from time to time. So it tracks. But just before they all pile into the time machine Patrick stops and turns back to Lou Cash. Something is bothering him. “Lou Cash… how did you know to come here?” Lou Cash shakes his head. “My dear boy, it’s because I was one of the Time Cops and I have the scar to prove it.” He pulls up his sleeve and there is a perfect twin kick scar on his wrist. Now something is really bothering Jamie, “But then didn’t you just crush yourself?” Lou Cash looks back at the crushed Time Cops and shrugs. “Guess I did.” Jamie looks concerned, “And that’s not a problem?” Lou Cash thinks for a second, looks down at his hand, which has now started to fade, and agrees that it probably is a problem. As he disappears he lets out one last “Never forget meeeeee.” Finally piling into the time machine, a somber mood now hanging in the air, both Jamie and Patrick gasp when they see the date punched into the console: Father’s Day, 2017. That’s right! We’re watching the very appropriately punctuated Fathers’ Day from 1997 starring Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. It’s based on a French film and something must have been… lost in translation. Let’s go!

Fathers’ Day (1997) – BMeTric: 49.7; Notability: 62

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.8%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 21.6%; Higher BMeT: Batman & Robin, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Home Alone 3, Steel, Anaconda, Mr. Magoo, Double Team, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Chairman of the Board, Spawn, Flubber, Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves!, An American Werewolf in Paris, Jungle 2 Jungle, Fire Down Below, Turbulence, Gone Fishin’, McHale’s Navy, The Pest, and 2 more; Higher Notability: Batman & Robin, The Saint, Speed 2: Cruise Control, Dante’s Peak, The Jackal, Flubber, The Postman, Spawn; Lower RT: Fall, Plump Fiction, The Blackout, McHale’s Navy, Shadow Conspiracy, Gone Fishin’, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, The Pest, Speed 2: Cruise Control, ‘Til There Was You, An American Werewolf in Paris, Mr. Magoo, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, Dangerous Ground, The Postman, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, Keys to Tulsa, Double Team, How to Be a Player, Steel, and 31 more; Notes: Really impressive numbers for a comedy. So many high Notability films left from 1997. The Saint is a pretty exciting one, I think that it is a sneaky good film.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  When her 16-year-old son runs away, a desperate Kinski tells each of two ex-lovers that he’s the real father, hoping that this will spur one of them to find the boy. The two men – a genuine odd couple – wind up working together on this daunting task. Lackluster remake of Francis Veber’s Les Comperes gets whatever mileage it has from the two comic stars’ personalities … but the boy is extremely dislikable, and a subplot with his stepfather (Greenwood) is a complete misfire.

(Man, does Greenwood play a Bad Dad again in this film? He plays a Good Dad in Here on Earth, but he’s definitely a Bad Dad in Endless Love. So he’s a Mixed Dad Bag.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsQfKt08Xlk/

(The montage with Williams looks horrible. And yup, there is Sugar Ray front and center. Makes me want to go see this movie, probably for the wrong reasons though.)

DirectorsIvan Reitman – ( Known For: Ghostbusters; No Strings Attached; Kindergarten Cop; Meatballs; Evolution; Ghostbusters II; Twins; Stripes; Draft Day; Dave; Cannibal Girls; Legal Eagles; Foxy Lady; Future BMT: Six Days Seven Nights; Junior; My Super Ex-Girlfriend; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Notes: Died just this year. Was nominated for an Oscar for Up in the Air, and for an Emmy for the television movie The Late Shift.)

WritersFrancis Veber – ( Known For: The Valet; The Birdcage; Dinner for Schmucks; The Valet; The Man with One Red Shoe; Le Dîner de Cons; La Cage aux Folles; Buddy Buddy; The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe; Ruby & Quentin; The Closet; La Chèvre; Partners; The Fugitives; Le Magnifique; The Toy; Hold-Up; The ComDads; The Jaguar; A Pain in the Ass; Future BMT: The Toy; My Father the Hero; Three Fugitives; Pure Luck; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Notes: Was nominated for an Oscar for La Cage aux folles. He has had 12 of his films remade as American films. That’s what I like to see for this cycle!)

Lowell Ganz – ( Known For: A League of Their Own; Robots; Splash; Parenthood; City Slickers; Night Shift; Fever Pitch; Multiplicity; Edtv; Forget Paris; Mr. Saturday Night; Future BMT: Where the Heart Is; Tooth Fairy; Spies Like Us; Gung Ho; Vibes; Greedy; City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Splash. Basically his entire family is in entertainment (his three children, brother, and two cousins). His son created Santa Clara Diet.)

Babaloo Mandel – ( Known For: A League of Their Own; Robots; Splash; Parenthood; City Slickers; Night Shift; Fever Pitch; Multiplicity; Edtv; Forget Paris; Mr. Saturday Night; Future BMT: Where the Heart Is; Tooth Fairy; Spies Like Us; Gung Ho; Vibes; Greedy; City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for The Flintstones in 1995; Notes: Writing partner of Ganz. They are going to get some play soon since the A League of Their Own television series is coming out.)

ActorsRobin Williams – ( Known For: Good Will Hunting; Dead Poets Society; Jumanji; Aladdin; One Hour Photo; Mrs. Doubtfire; To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar; The Birdcage; Night at the Museum; Robots; Popeye; A.I. Artificial Intelligence; Good Morning, Vietnam; Awakenings; Insomnia; The Butler; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb; Dead Again; What Dreams May Come; Future BMT: Hook; Jack; RV; Patch Adams; August Rush; Bicentennial Man; Flubber; Nine Months; The Night Listener; Man of the Year; The Best of Times; Club Paradise; The Survivors; Jakob the Liar; BMT: The Big Wedding; Fathers’ Day; Old Dogs; Toys; License to Wed; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 2000 for Bicentennial Man, and Jakob the Liar; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Death to Smoochy in 2003; Notes: Nominated for three Best Actor Oscars, ended up winning for Supporting actor in Good Will Hunting. Also nominated for 9 Emmys and won twice. Died in 2014.)

Billy Crystal – ( Known For: The Princess Bride; Cars; When Harry Met Sally…; Monsters, Inc.; Howl’s Moving Castle; This Is Spinal Tap; Monsters University; City Slickers; Analyze This; Here Today; Hamlet; I’m Still Here; Throw Momma from the Train; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Running Scared; Deconstructing Harry; Forget Paris; Mr. Saturday Night; Standing Up, Falling Down; Untogether; Future BMT: Parental Guidance; Tooth Fairy; America’s Sweethearts; Analyze That; The Comedian; My Giant; City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Remake or Sequel for City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold in 1995; Notes: If I’m counting right he’s been nominated for 23 Emmys and won six times. Naturally a few of those times were for hosting the Oscars, which he was famous for in the early 90s. He is 74 years old.)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus – ( Known For: Black Widow; A Bug’s Life; Onward; Christmas Vacation; Enough Said; Hannah and Her Sisters; Deconstructing Harry; Future BMT: Planes; Downhill; Soul Man; Jack the Bear; BMT: Fathers’ Day; Troll; North; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for Fathers’ Day in 1998; Notes: Was nominated for 27 Emmys and won 11 times, mostly for acting/writing in Seinfeld, The New Adventures of Old Christine, and Veep, her three major television hits. Her father is a billionaire, and by extension so is she, but she hasn’t done so poorly for herself.)

Budget/Gross – $85 million / Domestic: $28,598,376 (Worldwide: $28,598,376)

(Terrible. It is a little confusing as to how this film could have cost so much, but then again, a chunk of it takes place are a genuine Sugar Ray concert, so it is possible that filming in Reno and throwing a giant fake concert with a real band could have contributed to the inflated budget. Also, just look at the cast and crew, every single one was nominated or won an Emmy or Oscar, so they really didn’t hold back in putting this film together.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (15/61): A maudlin misfire, Father’s Day manages the difficult task of making Billy Crystal and Robin Williams woefully unfunny.

(So I can lend some insight here having watched both the original and remake at this point. So the issue was they just reused most of the jokes from the original without really thinking through adapting the movie to the two leads. The film is immediately funnier if you just let Billy Crystal be Billy Crystal and Robin Williams be Robin Williams. Instead they aren’t.)

Reviewer Highlight: Add to these problems the fact that Fathers’ Day is a comedy starring two reputedly hilarious people who don’t make you laugh once, and you have a movie that would be great if everything about it weren’t terrible. – Keith Phipps, AV Club

Poster – Baldurs’ Gate

(Oh deary me, no. If this were a film about two friends, one a buttoned up family man with three kids and the other a man child who just knocked up his girlfriend, who go on a road trip so that Billy Crystal can help Robin Williams prepare to be a father (but perhaps learn a little bit more about themselves than they bargained for) then this poster makes sense. Otherwise it’s just a big red flag. Nice font though. C-.)

Tagline(s) – All she said was “My son is yours.” Unfortunately, she said it to both of them. (D)

(Yes, that’s the plot of the film. Unfortunately it’s not a tagline.)

Keyword(s) – European Remake

Top 10: 12 Monkeys (1995), The Italian Job (2003), Insomnia (2002), Scent of a Woman (1992), Clash of the Titans (2010), Some Like It Hot (1959), Vanilla Sky (2001), True Lies (1994), Dawn of the Dead (2004), The Tourist (2010)

Future BMT: 54.5 Eye of the Beholder (1999), 54.0 Downhill (2020), 49.2 The Omen (2006), 47.1 Nine Months (1995), 44.8 Catch That Kid (2004), 44.4 Brick Mansions (2014), 43.1 Diabolique (1996), 43.1 Sleepless (2017), 43.0 Village of the Damned (1995), 41.8 I Think I Love My Wife (2007)

BMT: The Wicker Man (2006), Taxi (2004), The Haunting (1999), Get Carter (2000), Jungle 2 Jungle (1997), Pathfinder (2007), Fathers’ Day (1997), The Big Wedding (2013), The Blue Lagoon (1980), School for Scoundrels (2006), Blame It on Rio (1984), Vanilla Sky (2001)

Best Options (Comedy): 54.0 Downhill (2020), 49.5 Fathers’ Day (1997), 47.1 Nine Months (1995), 44.8 Catch That Kid (2004), 41.8 I Think I Love My Wife (2007), 41.2 Mixed Nuts (1994), 37.9 My Father the Hero (1994), 36.8 Just Visiting (2001), 34.6 Mad Money (2008), 31.4 The Toy (1982), 29.7 The Woman in Red (1984), 26.3 Pure Luck (1991), 24.4 The Man Who Loved Women (1983), 22.5 Once Upon a Crime… (1992), 20.7 The Associate (1996), 20.6 Three Fugitives (1989), 17.2 Oscar (1991)

(So yeah, Downhill was available, but I’ve heard mostly mixed things about it instead of it actually being bad. I’m a bit shocked at how few we’ve done in the end. Looking through the ones we have done I mostly haven’t seen the original. I saw the original Haunting, Get Carter, and Jungle 2 Jungle. I think that is it. Lots of British remakes in there as well, whereas in this cycle we are mostly doing French films.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bruce Greenwood is No. 6 billed in Fathers’ Day and No. 6 billed in Here on Earth, => (6 + 6) = 12. If we were to watch Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 8.

Notes – As a cross-promotion, Warner Brothers had Robin Williams and Billy Crystal make guest appearances in Friends (1994). (It is the one with the ultimate fighting championship, I remember this actually, they take the spot in the cafe that the titular friends usually occupy for a scene)

The concert was filmed at a park in Los Angeles. The scene took three days to film, and involved playing the same song over and over for all three days. To show the energy of the crowd, the extras had to cheer and “rock” to the music. On the first day everyone was up, yelling, jumping and punching their fists in the air, but by day three, most were too tired to even lift their arms, and many just remained seated.

During the filming of the concert scene, Robin Williams took a break and walked into the bleachers, where he entertained the extras who gathered around him.

Before appearing in this film, Robin Williams and Billy Crystal were already a well-known comedy duo, thanks to their work on HBO’s Comic Relief. The original French film, on which this is based, The ComDads (1983), also features a well-known comedy team: Pierre Richard and Gérard Depardieu.

Billy Crystal’s character hates mimes in this movie. In This is Spinal Tap (1984), he played a mime (who was also in charge of other mimes).

One of two 1997 films to star Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, the other being Woody Allen’s Deconstructing Harry (1997).

While shooting the scene in which Dale and Jack remove Scott’s shoes and socks, Robin Williams and Billy Crystal discovered that Charlie Hofheimer was extremely ticklish on the soles of his feet. Robin Williams and Billy Crystal could not resist tickling Charlie Hofheimer’s bare feet, and they continually ruined the scene by tickling him. Charlie could not handle the tickling and wanted to quit. Ivan Reitman had to talk him into staying so that they could finally shoot the scene.

The apartment where Dale (Robin Williams) lives in San Francisco is the same one used in Mrs Doubtfire (1993).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, 1998)

School for Scoundrels (2006) Recap

Jamie

I was pretty sure we had already watched School for Scoundrels for BMT before. I dreaded having to tell Patrick that, alas, his bad movie memory (BMM) must be shot when he picked this out as the first entry of Merde. Duh, don’t you remember, it’s the one where Billy Bob Thorton is a big ol’ bully… and it co-stars that guy who made it big off that high school comedy a few years earlier… oh wait, that was Mr. Woodcock. And there you have it: this film is a perfect encapsulation of a very precise moment in film history. So precise that I mixed it up with the other Billy Bob Thorton film. So let’s get into it.

Jon Heder is a wimp. He’s got a huge crush on a girl, Amanda, who doesn’t know who he is, his job sucks, and people walk all over him. A friend suggests he take a class by Mr. P on how to be a more assertive person and when he does, guess what? It actually works! Suddenly he’s having great dates with Amanda, he’s standing up for himself at work, and everything is looking up for Job Heder. Nothing can go wrong! He’s going to live forrreeeevvvver. That is until Mr. P decides that he doesn’t like how assertive Heder is getting, so it’s time for him to steal his girl and ruin his life. But uh oh, the student is becoming the master and Heder ruins his life right back. It’s just a comedy of ruining everyones lives. Isn’t it fun to watch people’s lives fall apart? Ha ha ha… ha… oh… ha… yeah. Anyway, when Mr. P and Amanda start to get serious Heder takes things into his own hands and digs up all the dirt on Mr. P’s terrible deeds. Confronting Mr. P and Amanda on a plane, he pretends to have a panic attack forcing Mr. P (who is pretending to be a doctor) to administer aid. Realizing that he’s a big ol’ Liar McLiarton, Amanda dumps the zero to get with the hero… and by hero I mean Heder. THE END.

I actually found myself digging the first half of this film. Heder is charming in his own way and you can kinda believe he is who he’s playing: a nice guy who is finishing last. And the comedy chops that surround him in the film are legit nuts. Every single person in the class and then many in supporting roles are top tier talent. It’s mind blowing. At one point you’re watching the film and you’re like “wait, is that Jim Parsons?… of Young Sheldon fame?… and they don’t even give him a line? But he’s Old Sheldon!” And you’d be right. The back half? Not as much. Pretty unpleasant actually as Mr. P is a monster and ruins Heder’s life. They even do a fake out where they pretend he’s not a monster for a second and I was like “noooooo,” because it just wasn’t right that they would attempt to redeem the piece of shit. But they didn’t pull the punch at least. Overall a pretty mixed bag.

Hot Take Clam Bake time: we see Heder and Amanda vacationing in Miami at the end (speedo and all) and so we are led to believe that they are together for the long haul. Guess what? I’m not buying it. Why? Cause Heder has no talents as far as we can tell. He was a meter maid who got fired for (allegedly) sexually harassing his boss. What is he up to next? Answer: not much. And guess who Amanda just fell for? An old man who was pretending to be a surgeon. What happens when she meets a decrepit old surgeon for real? She’ll be out of there so fast he won’t know what hit him. It lasts three months tops. Hot Take Temperature: Parmesan Garlic. Patrick?

Patrick

‘Ello everyone! School for Scoundrels? More like Uncool and Down-drels! Amirite? How was Jon Heder a star of films again? Just seems wild that he went from barely acting in Napoleon Dynamite to headlining multiple major comedies for about 5 years there. Let’s go!

  • Yeah, speak of the devil, Heder is terrible. He isn’t really a comedian. His delivery is flat and for the most part he can only play one character (waifish weakling characters who ultimately find inner strength).
  • All the while the supporting actors in this film are all a who’s who of soon-to-be incredibly famous television comedians. Multiple eventual headliners. It makes me feel insane to think Heder was wandering around on that set, when they could have probably just got David Cross to do it better.
  • And I liked Napoleon Dynamite and I like Heder in general, he just can’t do the heavy lifting needed to actually make this movie consistently funny. He needed a Will Ferrel type to play off of in scenes … that actually could have been a good storyline. The School for Scoundrels gives everyone a brash obnoxious buddy to help them out. Heder hates Ferrel who, obviously, proceeds to ruin his life to some degree. In the end though they realize they are good friends, can lean on each other, and that they are, in fact, precisely what they need. And what is revealed? That that is the school for scoundrels! They have a corresponding School for Nice Guys for assholes like Ferrel to go to, but the formula is the same: you can help each other become a little better. Friends! Is it a better film? I don’t know. It is different. But Heder needed help I think is the main issue.
  • While not as kind hearted as the original British film, it is a lot nicer than I expected. I expected it to be a horrorshow of early 2000s awful humor. It was instead mostly nice, with only the ending really dipping in quality.
  • The ending does kind of ruin it though. You have to have Billy Bob Thornton be secretly nice! It is kind of the idea. That he’s teaching you the tricks you need to get ahead, but that he is not actually a scoundrel.
  • Decent Product Placement (What?) for Heder’s standard issue New Balance shoes he gets stolen in the beginning of the film. And a Setting as a Character (Where?) for New York City. Otherwise probably closest to Bad for me, but that might be colored by having watched and loved the original.
  • Speaking of which, the original School for Scoundrels from 1960 is great! The structure of the film is interesting, with the first part of the main character getting dunked on being told in flashback. Then basically a montage sequence at the school for a short middle. And then a mirror image of the main character dunking on all of the people who wronged him at the end. And the whole thing is ultimately very sweet. It did probably make me like this one a bit less.

Read about the School for Scoundrel sequel School for Scoundrels: Friendship is Magic (Literally), in the Quiz. Cheerios,

The Sklogs

School for Scoundrels (2006) Quiz

Oh man, so here’s the thing, I went to this school for scoundrels and, naturally, while learning to be a total dick to people someone punched me right in the face and I got a massive concussion. Now I can’t remember a thing! Do you remember what happened in School for Scoundrels?

Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

1) Heder has a load of people stepping on him in his life. Like at his job. What does he do for a living?

2) How does Heder learn about the School for Scoundrels anyways?

3) What are Heder’s tasks that he has to do for class? That is, prior to him getting his personal assignment of starring in a romantic comedy (there are two).

4) Well, things are looking up now for Heder. He’s getting the girl … and what’s that? Mr. P is trying to go out with her too?! But why? Why would he do that (he claims)?

5) Who does Heder to go visit to get his mojo back at the end of the film?

Bonus Question: In the mid-credits scene Heder gets two calls back-to-back, from whom?

Answers

School for Scoundrels (2006) Preview

Jamie, Patrick and the rest of the team backflip their way into the Fortress. Halfway through his third backflip, however, Patrick notices something is off. “Stop! Stop backflipping!” he yells and once everyone is reoriented they notice the same thing. The halls of the school building are completely empty. Their steps ring out in the empty hallways until they finally reach a set of heavy steel doors. Jamie and Patrick fling them open, instantly bathes in an eerie blue light emanating from the doorway. They gasp. They find themselves in the ethereal beauty of a submarine pen. A submarine pen? On the grounds of the school? But why? Suddenly they begin to hear the cracking sounds of slow clapping and from behind the submarine emerges Jamie and Patrick themselves. But it can’t be, can it? “No, my sweet Bad Movie Twins, you haven’t been betrayed by yourselves. We have won!” the Jamie double cackles, before they both pull off their latex masks. Jamie and Patrick aren’t surprised to see it’s actually two Mikey Time Cops. The Time Cops pull their guns and laugh maniacally, but Jamie and Patrick just smirk. “Sure, sure, you’re gonna shoot,” Patrick says before they both theatrically motion for one of them to kick the other in the testicles. And yet nothing happens. “Oh shit,” Jamie mutters, “are you both bad Mikey Time Cops?” They nod, confused as to what else they would be. This looks like the end for our heroes. But wait! Suddenly there is a loud pop and from a hole in the sky a large machine falls and crushes the bad Mikey’s. Out from the steaming time machine walks Lou Cash. “You did it you scoundrels!” he screams, much to the delight and confusion of everyone there. That’s right! We are watching School for Scoundrels as a transition to the next cycle: Films adapted from European films a.k.a. Merde. We got so very close to getting a roster of all French films, but could resist a couple out of the box. So let’s sit back and enjoy School for Scoundrels adapted from the 1960 British film, School for Scoundrels. Let’s go! 

School for Scoundrels (2006) – BMeTric: 33.2; Notability: 55

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 24.8%; Notability: top 8.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 27.1%; Higher BMeT: Date Movie, The Wicker Man, Ultraviolet, Pledge This!, Little Man, Basic Instinct 2, Material Girls, Zoom, Big Momma’s House 2, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, Black Christmas, The Marine, The Shaggy Dog, DOA: Dead or Alive, Pulse, Phat Girlz, Eragon, Scary Movie 4, The Grudge 2, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, and 42 more; Higher Notability: Poseidon, The Wild, The Da Vinci Code, Eragon, Scary Movie 4, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Happily N’Ever After, Click, The Pink Panther, Smokin’ Aces, The Guardian, The Black Dahlia, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties, Zoom, The Shaggy Dog, A Good Year, Lady in the Water, Factory Girl, All the King’s Men; Lower RT: The Contract, Kiss Me Again, Karla, Pledge This!, Material Girls, Happily N’Ever After, The Covenant, Zoom, Big Momma’s House 2, Deck the Halls, Basic Instinct 2, Date Movie, Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, Gray Matters, Ultraviolet, When a Stranger Calls, See No Evil, Annapolis, Stay Alive, Pulse, and 47 more; Notes: Way higher IMDb rating that I expected, but sticking nicely below/around 6.0. The Notability is off the chain though! Solid for a comedy.

Leonard Maltin – 2 stars –  Nerdy guy who lets people step all over him is recruited by a mysterious entrepreneur who runs a class for worms in need of turning. But our would-be hero isn’t prepared for his “teacher” to start playing dirty tricks on him. Most contemporary comedies are too crude for our taste, but this one is terminally bland and never takes off as it repeatedly promises to do. Remake of the 1960 British comedy.

(Interesting. I think if this is made today it is probably very heartfelt, while also being crude (but in a way that teaches the hero that it is worth it not to be, you know?). I am surprised though, I would have figured this was just the right year to have a horrible no-good remake of a film like School for Scoundrels that aged horribly.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh-nQKB8fwg/

(A hard r in the trailer itself really is a bold move. The mid-00s were a wild time. Also the film looks aggressively not funny.)

DirectorsTodd Phillips – ( Known For: Joker; The Hangover; War Dogs; Road Trip; Old School; Starsky & Hutch; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Apparently he originally directed Borat, but quit due to creative differences with Cohen.)

WritersTodd Phillips – ( Known For: Joker; War Dogs; Road Trip; Old School; Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan; Starsky & Hutch; Future BMT: The Hangover Part II; Due Date; The Hangover Part III; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Nominated for four Oscars, three for Joker, and one for the original Borat.)

Scot Armstrong – ( Known For: Road Trip; Old School; Starsky & Hutch; Search Party; Future BMT: The Heartbreak Kid; The Hangover Part II; Semi-Pro; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Wrote some sort of remake of Problem Child? There isn’t even a poster on IMDb, so I can’t even make fun of that.)

Hal E. Chester – ( Known For: Curse of the Demon; School for Scoundrels; The Weapon; Crashout; Joe Palooka, Champ; Gentleman Joe Palooka; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Wrote the original. Was uncredited here, which is interesting since he was somehow still alive when this was made! He was 85 years old.)

Patricia Moyes – ( Known For: School for Scoundrels; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Irish, and similarly wrote the original. Died in 2000, so didn’t get to see this made.)

Stephen Potter – ( Known For: School for Scoundrels; The Shipbuilders; BMT: School for Scoundrels; Notes: Wrote the original novels that the original film was based on. Obviously wasn’t alive for this film, he would have been 106. That would have been a trick. He died in 1969.)

ActorsBilly Bob Thornton – ( Known For: Tombstone; Love Actually; Princess Mononoke; Blood In, Blood Out; Monster’s Ball; Friday Night Lights; Sling Blade; The Judge; Puss in Boots; Dead Man; The Informers; A Simple Plan; The Baytown Outlaws; U Turn; Faster; The Man Who Wasn’t There; Bad Santa; Intolerable Cruelty; Parkland; Whiskey Tango Foxtrot; Future BMT: London Fields; Indecent Proposal; Entourage; Eagle Eye; Our Brand Is Crisis; The Alamo; Bad Santa 2; BMT: Armageddon; Going Overboard; On Deadly Ground; School for Scoundrels; Mr. Woodcock; Notes: From Arkansas, won an Oscar for writing Sling Blade. Has been married six times, including to Angelina Jolie famously.)

Jon Heder – ( Known For: Napoleon Dynamite; Just Like Heaven; Blades of Glory; Monster House; Surf’s Up; Reality; The Sasquatch Gang; Walt Before Mickey; Mama’s Boy; For Ellen; Life Happens; Christmas Eve; Ghost Team; Weepah Way for Now; Bling; Legend of Kung Fu Rabbit; The Tiger Hunter; Unexpected Race; The Little Penguin Pororo’s Racing Adventure; Moving McAllister; BMT: The Benchwarmers; When in Rome; School for Scoundrels; Notes: Became famous for Napoleon Dynamite. Does a lot of voice acting these days.)

Jacinda Barrett – ( Known For: The Last Kiss; Hide and Seek; Middle Men; New York, I Love You; The Human Stain; The Namesake; Ladder 49; Campfire Tales; Ripley Under Ground; Seven in Heaven; Matching Jack; So B. It; BMT: Poseidon; Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason; Urban Legends: Final Cut; School for Scoundrels; Notes: From Australia, and was on the fourth season of The Real World, which took place in London. Hasn’t done much since the show Bloodline ended in 2017.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $17,807,569 (Worldwide: $24,470,583)

(Not great at all. And given the absurdly stacked comedy cast this film sports, that budget makes perfect sense.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (36/138): School for Scoundrels squanders its talented cast with a formulaic, unfocused attempt at a romantic comedy that’s neither romantic nor funny.

(A talented cast indeed. Just watch the trailer. David Cross, Paul Sheer, Matt Walsh, etc.! It is crazy good.)

Reviewer Highlight: It feels as if director Phillips was scrounging desperately for morsels with comic potential and came up empty-handed. – Claudia Puig, USA Today

Poster – Howls for Hooligans

(Wow, that’s a bad poster. Like F level bad. Funny cause that’s not typically the poster I think of for the film, but sometimes it’s difficult to figure what was really used to advertise. There are so many words. But fine, the font has a little vim and vigor so it’s a D.)

Tagline(s) – Too nice? Too honest? Too you? Help is on the way. (B)

(It’s too long, but otherwise it’s actually not bad in concept. Like it’s got a rule of three in there. Also it is a little clever curveball. All good things and then saying don’t worry, this asshole will help you. Just needed to figure out a way to tighten it up and make it flow.)

Keyword(s) – dimension

Top 10: Sin City (2005), Spectre (2015), The Others (2001), Scream (1996), Equilibrium (2002), From Dusk Till Dawn (1996), The Mist (2007), Death Proof (2007), 1408 (2007), Scary Movie (2000)

Future BMT: 86.6 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005), 82.8 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 77.5 Who’s Your Caddy? (2007), 77.0 Superhero Movie (2008), 70.1 Black Christmas (2006), 68.6 Pulse (2006), 66.9 The Crow: City of Angels (1996), 64.9 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 61.8 Cursed (2005), 59.0 Apollo 18 (2011)

BMT: Scary Movie V (2013), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Highlander: The Final Dimension (1994), Halloween II (2009), Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), My Boss’s Daughter (2003), Highlander: Endgame (2000), Dracula 2000 (2000), Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Phantoms (1998), Boys and Girls (2000), Texas Rangers (2001), Reindeer Games (2000), Halloween (2007), School for Scoundrels (2006), Fortress (1992), Senseless (1998), Impostor (2001), Mindhunters (2004)

Best Options (European Remake): 33.2 School for Scoundrels (2006)

(Oh yeah! The only one available baby! Indeed we had to move School for Scoundrels from the comedy spot because it needed to be here. It is a bit insane just how many Dimension films we have left. We could almost make a whole new cycle from it … might be missing a romance. Unclear.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Michael Clarke Duncan is No. 5 billed in School for Scoundrels and No. 4 billed in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, which also stars Chris Klein (No. 2 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (5 + 4) + (2 + 2) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Ben Stiller’s cameo was shot in two days in California because he was unable to fly to New York for filming, due to a scheduling conflict.

Director Todd Phillips first offered the lead role to Howard Stern (Phillips is a big Stern fan), but Stern had to turn it down because he was about to leave terrestrial radio for satellite radio and did not have the time to film a movie. The role eventually went to Billy Bob Thornton.

Diego (Horatio Sanz) says, “Things are going to change, I can feel it,” quoting Beck’s song, “Loser.”

Aziz Ansari’s unnamed character’s only dialogue is a short scene with fellow classmate Ernie (Jon Glaser). The two actors would later have major roles in NBC’s “Parks and Recreation” as Tom Haverford and Councilman Jeremy Jamm respectively.

To date, this is Todd Phillips’s only movie that isn’t distributed by DreamWorks or Warner Bros.

Dr. P’s rules “From the Bar to your Bed” are: Be dangerous, it’s cool. No compliments, *ever*. Always get the girl alone. Wherever you are, the place is lame! Relate to her. Lie, lie, and lie some more. (Gross)