Tag: Razzies

The Animal Preview

Jamie and Patrick lay on their deathbeds. The whole Hartford Whalers family surrounds them with tears streaming down their faces. Even the mascot weeps so loudly that you can hear it through his oversized Headless Kevin James costume. It was a joyous ride being the owners of what was now known as the most successful sports franchise in history. Kyle was at first derided as a buffoon with no coaching experience, but soon the players came to understand the secret ingredient to winning: Love. The love Kyle had for his players took them from bottom of the barrel to top of the league in their very first season and from there they won 33 of the last 50 Stanley Cups. And yet… when they should feel most at peace, both Jamie and Patrick couldn’t help but think back on the moment when they kicked Kevin James’ head clean off. Was it right? Was it true? Maybe Kevin James was a secret serial killer so it was OK that they kicked his head clean off. But it wasn’t the case. Kevin James was not a secret serial killer. He wasn’t even a secret serial killer who only killed serial killers. No, Kevin James was just a successful actor that people liked to watch. And they were just the two guys who kicked his head clean off and rode that to the greatest success mankind had ever witnessed. They look at each other and whisper what only they can understand, “We shouldn’t have kicked Kevin James’ head clean off.” With that they die.

Jamie and Patrick wake up from their daydream to find themselves face-to-face with Kevin James, now finished with his satirical comedy act. They tense, their animal instincts gearing up for the fight that they no longer wanted to have. That’s right! Speaking of animal instincts we are jumping like glorious leopards onto the easy prey that is The Animal starring Rob Schneider. I can’t remember if we saw this in theaters, but it’s possible given that I’ve seen the film more than a few times. It serves a nice transition from the Choice Awards cycle (Teen Choice Award nominees for Choice Wipeout) to the Sooooory Cycle starring all our favorite Canadian actors. In this case, Norm MacDonald shows up in a small part. Let’s go! 

The Animal (2001) – BMeTric: 71.4; Notability: 52

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 1.6%; Notability: top 8.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 28.6%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Monkeybone, Hannibal, Impostor, Not Another Teen Movie, Ghosts of Mars, Swordfish, Bubble Boy, Scary Movie 2, 15 Minutes, The One, The Affair of the Necklace, Town & Country, I Am Sam, 3000 Miles to Graceland, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, Texas Rangers, Don’t Say a Word, and 1 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Head Over Heels, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, Double Take, and 48 more; Notes: Let’s see. We’ve seen all the higher BMeTs, and 10 of the top 20 lowest Rotten Tomatoes. Doing pretty well on 2001 it would seem.

Leonard Maltin – BOMB –  A pathetic nobody awakens after a car accident to find that his body organs have been replaced by those of animals (a dog, a dolphin, a horse, etc.). Filled to the brim with bathroom humor, offensive dialogue, gratuitous nudity … everything by genuine comedy. Schneider cowrote; Sandals co-executive produced.

(Shocker there is no mention of Colleen Haskell. That is by far the most notable thing about this film. Anyways, love the BOMB, they are so rare.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBwcksgKcFs/

(They ruin a decent gag right at the start with the garage door wall. Having seen this movie a bunch of times, a ton of that trailer isn’t in the movie. Him coming out of the dog house for example. Also … is it being from the producers of Deuce Bigelow supposed to entice me to watch this film?)

Directors – Luke Greenfield – ( Known For: The Girl Next Door; Future BMT: Let’s Be Cops; Half Brothers; BMT: The Animal; Something Borrowed; Notes: The fact that Half Brothers qualifies is a bit nuts to be honest, I have never heard of it at all. He has two upcoming projects but his last major film was Let’s Be Cops which I’m pretty sure was a financial nothing film.)

Writers – Tom Brady – ( Future BMT: The Hot Chick; BMT: The Animal; Notes: Went to Harvard, claims to have discovered Rachel McAdams, and doesn’t have much in the pipeline except a TV show that is maybe coming out next year.)

Rob Schneider – ( Future BMT: The Hot Chick; BMT: Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; The Animal; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Notes: Much like Sandler seemed to get writing credits on the films he was involved in in the early 2000s. He was of the SNL class that was derided (and fired), but then ended up being considered the best class they had in the 90s.)

Actors – Rob Schneider – ( Known For: 50 First Dates; The Wrong Missy; Home Team; Hubie Halloween; Daddy Daughter Trip; Big Stan; Sandy Wexler; American Virgin; Muppets from Space; You May Not Kiss the Bride; InAPPropriate Comedy; The Reef; Wild Cherry; The Adventures of Panda Warrior; Susan’s Plan; Outback; The Reef 2: High Tide; Wings; Frog Kingdom; Martians Go Home; Future BMT: Click; Big Daddy; The Hot Chick; The Longest Yard; The Waterboy; Mr. Deeds; You Don’t Mess with the Zohan; Grandma’s Boy; Home Alone 2: Lost in New York; Bedtime Stories; Down Periscope; Surf Ninjas; Necessary Roughness; Norm of the North; Eight Crazy Nights; The Adventures of Pinocchio; BMT: Grown Ups; Demolition Man; The Benchwarmers; I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry; Judge Dredd; Little Nicky; Little Man; Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo; The Beverly Hillbillies; The Ridiculous 6; Around the World in 80 Days; The Animal; Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo; Knock Off; Notes: He’s a bit of a crank. Heavily anti-vaccine, although that’s been going on for a long time. I can’t tell, but the trailer for Daddy Daughter Trip is harrowing … is it makeup, or does he just look that way now? I have no idea.)

Colleen Haskell – ( BMT: The Animal; Notes: She was 6th in Survivor Season 1, and this is her one and only attempt at acting. Apparently she didn’t like the experience. Five people have wiki pages from season 1, of which she is one.)

John C. McGinley – ( Known For: Se7en; Office Space; Point Break; The Rock; Platoon; Identity; Any Given Sunday; Born on the Fourth of July; Wall Street; 42; The Belko Experiment; World Trade Center; Battle of the Sexes; Fat Man and Little Boy; Set It Off; Get a Job; Nixon; A Midnight Clear; Talk Radio; Mother; Future BMT: Nothing to Lose; Three to Tango; Born to Be Wild; Stealing Harvard; Hear No Evil; BMT: Wild Hogs; The Animal; Summer Catch; Get Carter; Surviving the Game; Alex Cross; On Deadly Ground; Highlander II: The Quickening; Wagons East; Are We Done Yet?; Car 54, Where Are You?; Notes: Hell yeah. He’s a BMT All Star. This is the 11th of his films we’ve done, five. That’s easy peasy. Let’s get on it.)

Budget/Gross – $47,000,000 / Domestic: $57,743,062 (Worldwide: $85,191,134)

(Probably made its money back to some degree … but not by much and it depends on what they got internationally. No wonder The Animal 2 wasn’t even in the cards, even without Haskell.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 30% (25/84): While less offensive and more charming than recent gross-humored comedies, The Animal is still rather mediocre.

(Wow, that is a far more mild review than I would have expected. Huh. It is vaguely funny, and at least has a unique viewpoint I suppose. And looking at the New York Times review I suppose I get it.)

NYT Short Review: The goofy new Rob Schneider comedy isn’t the gross-out farce that its title suggests. … Mr. Schneider brings an endearing innocence to a role that others would have played with a nasty leer.

Poster – The Manimal

(I like some of the bold colors on this, but this is really a classic example of a common poster type in the 2000’s. I’ll call it the Knocked Up. In the Knocked Up they make the not traditionally handsome comedic leading man look slightly stupid and then are basically like “yeah… we really made this guy our leading actor… isn’t that hilarious?”… Knocked Up is the one that really stuck in my mind, but in reality pretty much every Rob Schneider vehicle has this exact poster. C.)

Tagline(s) – He wasn’t much of a man… Now he’s not much of an animal. (C+)

(I understand the first part, I’m not sure I understand the second part very well. But it sounds and feels like a tagline. Just not a particularly great one.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.7 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.6 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.7 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.7 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.7 The Grudge 2 (2006), 64.5 Darkness Falls (2003)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), The Animal (2001), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Marmaduke (2010), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), … (and many more)

Best Options (canada): 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.7 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 63.6 Valentine (2001), 61.5 Scooby-Doo (2002), 58.7 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 54.6 The Smurfs 2 (2013), 53.9 Annie (2014), 53.1 Aloha (2015), 52.1 Loser (2000), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 51.5 Scary Movie 3 (2003), 50.8 Saw 3D (2010), 50.8 Racing Stripes (2005), 49.4 Monster-in-Law (2005), 48.5 White Noise (2005), 48.2 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008), 47.8 Dumb and Dumber To (2014), 47.0 On the Line (2001), 46.7 You, Me and Dupree (2006), 46.5 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), 43.8 Not Another Teen Movie (2001), 43.8 The Stepfather (2009), 43.6 Chicken Little (2005), 43.3 John Tucker Must Die (2006), 40.9 Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), 40.6 The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013), 39.8 Semi-Pro (2008), 37.8 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), 36.9 The Amityville Horror (2005), 36.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016), 36.2 The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013), 35.4 Rugrats Go Wild (2003), 33.2 The Last Song (2010), 27.9 Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011), 27.7 Dracula Untold (2014), 27.0 Taking Lives (2004), 25.7 Idle Hands (1999), 24.8 Terminator Genisys (2015), 24.7 The Internship (2013), 22.5 The Shack (2017), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.4 Terminator Salvation (2009), 19.4 Kick-Ass 2 (2013), 19.1 Life as We Know It (2010), 17.0 Saw II (2005), 14.8 The Matrix Revolutions (2003), 14.5 If I Stay (2014), 12.8 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992), 12.8 The Island (2005), 12.7 The Vow (2012), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015), 7.8 The Time Traveler’s Wife (2009), 3.1 The Butterfly Effect (2004)

(We went high up for this guy. Norm is only kind of in it, but it counts! And obviously The Animal was awards some Kids’ Choice. How could Kids not love this stuff, he almost has sex with a goat!)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Rob Schneider is No. 1 billed in The Animal and No. 1 billed in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, which also stars William Forsythe (No. 2 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 5 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (1 + 1) + (2 + 5) + (3 + 1) = 13. If we were to watch Norm of the North we can get the HoE Number down to 9.

Notes – This is Colleen Haskell’s debut as an actress after being one of the final contenders in the first season of Survivor (2000). Rob Schneider said that working with Haskell was one of the unexpected pleasures of making the film.

The newspaper clipping of Marvin’s father features the face of Rob Schneider’s actual father, Marvin (to whom the movie is dedicated) photoshopped onto a police officer. Also, the car in which the lead character has his road accident was originally owned by Marvin Schneider (although several duplicates were also used in the crash sequence).

In both audio commentaries on the Uncut version of the DVD, it is mentioned that Harry Dean Stanton played the part of a hunter staking out the Man-Beast in the forest, but nearly all of the footage ended up on the cutting room floor. He can still be seen, uncredited, being attacked in once scene after Marvin asks Rianna to tie him up.

In June 2001, Newsweek revealed that print ads for at least four movies released by Columbia Pictures, including this one and A Knight’s Tale (2001), contained glowing comments from a film reviewer who didn’t exist. The fake critic, “David Manning,” was the friend of someone who worked in Columbia’s advertising department, and agreed to let his friend use his name. Manning was misrepresented as a reviewer for the Ridgefield Press, a real-life weekly paper out of Ridgefield, Connecticut.

Director Luke Greenfield’s mother deliberately hung around on-set because she was a big fan of Edward Asner.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor of the Decade (Rob Schneider)

Eddie Preview

Jamie and Patrick look out over BMaGOFHQ and see the empire they built over the last decade. It’s not easy combining the sharp wit of bad movie criticism with the great taste of Good Ooze, their flagship product of what became their much more lucrative beverage and (eventually) petroleum business. A statue of Scott Bakula stands towering over their busily working employees. At a certain point they had contemplated releasing the secret to Good Ooze’s great taste, but when Scott Bakula asked them on his deathbed to never reveal the secret they agreed to keep it hidden forever. But really it should be obvious. It’s like asking what makes Here on Earth go down so smooth? What makes your heart race every time you see Jeff Fahey, Bo Derek, and a motorcycle in the same room? What made the moment they kicked Kevin James’ head clean off so special to so many people? The answer is easy: Love. Sugar, water, and love. That’s all Great Ooze ever was. Kyle comes into the office bringing samples of their latest petroleum product: New Gasoline. “The third one tastes the best,” Jamie says, and everyone agrees. “But how does it align with our mission statement?” Patrick asks as they all look towards the banner hanging in their office. “Would Scott Bakula Drink This?” it asks, and in tiny letters below that, “It’s OK That You Kicked Kevin James’ Head Clean Off.” They all nod their heads. Just as Kyle is about to leave he mentions off hand about the big news. Jamie and Patrick are confused. What news? “The Caroline Hurricanes… they’re up for sale.” Jamie and Patrick are taken aback. Why didn’t anyone call them? “Call up Hartford!” they scream to their secretary. “And get ready… coach,” they say to Kyle. That’s right! We are watching Eddie, the Whoopi Goldberg comedy that came at the heyday of Whoopi. People literally couldn’t get enough of her and she has the People’s/Teen/Kids Choice Awards to show for it. For Bring a Friend we grabbed a film that aired on the only day we could find where Eddie played on TV (4/25/1999), Undefeatable. It’s a Cynthia Rothrock film, so just a couple of films featuring female leads. What a connection. Let’s go!

Eddie (1996) – BMeTric: 45.5; Notability: 61

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.8%; Notability: top 3.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.7%; Higher BMeT: Barb Wire, Kazaam, Striptease, Bio-Dome, The Island of Dr. Moreau, The Crow: City of Angels, Ed, Hellraiser: Bloodline, The Stupids, Spy Hard, Mr. Wrong, Poison Ivy II, D3: The Mighty Ducks, Solo, The Glimmer Man, First Kid, Eddie; Higher Notability: The Fan, Jingle All the Way, Spy Hard, Chain Reaction, Daylight, Up Close & Personal, Mulholland Falls, The Associate; Lower RT: The Dentist, Big Bully, Ed, Ripe, Bio-Dome, Kazaam, Mr. Wrong, Spy Hard, Eye for an Eye, Bulletproof, Celtic Pride, Solo, Curdled, House Arrest, The Glimmer Man, The Crow: City of Angels, In Love and War, Larger Than Life, Down Periscope, Dear God, and 17 more; Notes: Barb Wire: played 47 times in the 90s. Kazaam: 25. Striptease: 39. Bio-Dome: 44 (including Christmas 1997). The Island of Dr. Moreau: only 4 (I think this is one of those times of trying to force home video rental / sales, it only started playing in July 1999 according to my data). This played only once according to the data, but I have a feeling it might be wrong in this particular case. The notability is pretty solid.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Eddie” begins with Whoopi Goldberg playing a limousine dispatcher who does a play-by-play of Knicks games over the radio to her drivers. It ends with Whoopi as the coach of the New York Knicks, who are headed for the NBA playoffs. This sounds like a sensational scenario, but, alas, almost everything in between is recycled out of lightweight sports-movie cliches, and the movie never captures the electricity and excitement of the real NBA. … The movie’s underlying plot doesn’t amount to much, either, with Wild Bill as the evil capitalist who wants to sell the team to St. Louis. How Eddie counters this desire is something I will not reveal, except to say I seriously doubt that there is a single referee in the NBA who would let her get away with it.

(I’ll also try and not spoil anything, but Ebert is right and wrong here. Yeah, they wouldn’t have allowed her to get away with it, but also the actual result (the Knicks forfeit) would have played right into Eddie’s hands. If the movie had any balls that would have been the actual result: a triumphant forfeit with Eddie suspended from coaching for a year or something.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iuDUSj5jaI/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iuDUSj5jaI/

(The trailer ending on a small dick joke is just classic 90s. The movie? Looks awful, like what’s really the point, you know all the story beats that are going to happen? Dumb.)

Directors – Steve Rash – ( Known For: Can’t Buy Me Love; The Buddy Holly Story; Under the Rainbow; Good Advice; Crooked Arrows; Queens Logic; Future BMT: Son in Law; Held Up; BMT: Eddie; Notes: No joke, Can’t Buy Me Love is basically one of the most “TV film” film in history. Nearly 100 times in the 90s, crazy stuff. He basically started doing those cheap direct-to-video sequels (American Pie Presents, Bring it On 4, that kind of this) in the early 2000s.)

Writers – Steve Zacharias and Jeff Buhai – ( Known For: Revenge of the Nerds; The Harrad Experiment; Last Resort; The Whoopee Boys; Future BMT: Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise; Johnny Be Good; BMT: In the Army Now; Eddie; Notes: He only wrote the first Revenge of the Nerds, the others are character credits. I’m just going to vaguely restate Zacharais’ sole IMDb trivia which is that he was his school’s best athlete in fourth grade. Genuinely on IMDb.)

Jon Connolly – ( Known For: The Dream Team; BMT: Eddie; Notes: Died in 2021. The Dream Team is a weird looking film.)

David Loucka – ( Known For: The Dream Team; Future BMT: House at the End of the Street; Dream House; BMT: Rings; Eddie; Notes: Seems like he was Connolly’s writing partner at the time, but eventually split off to make horror films instead.)

Eric Champnella – ( Known For: Thunderstruck; Mr. 3000; Alex & Me; BMT: Eddie; Notes: No joke seems to just be a writer they pull in to punch up sports comedies?)

Keith Mitchell – ( Known For: Mr. 3000; BMT: Eddie; Notes: Same thing! He was just a guy who exclusively punched up sports comedies!)

Dale Launer – ( Known For: My Cousin Vinny; Dirty Rotten Scoundrels; Ruthless People; Love Potion No. 9; Future BMT: Blind Date; BMT: The Hustle; Notes: The son of a character actor who seemed to have been most well known for playing a judge on Perry Mason. Claims he made up the term “dead on balls accurate” for Mona Lisa Vito in My Cousin Vinny)

Actors – Whoopi Goldberg – ( Known For: The Lion King; The Player; Girl, Interrupted; The Deep End of the Ocean; Ghost; Toy Story 3; Luck; In & Out; The Color Purple; Till; Sister Act; Rat Race; Star Trek: Generations; The Muppets; A Little Bit of Heaven; The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle; Boys on the Side; My Father’s Dragon; How Stella Got Her Groove Back; Ghosts of Mississippi; Future BMT: The Little Rascals; Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit; Star Trek: Nemesis; The Pagemaster; Madea Goes to Jail; Loaded Weapon 1; Bordello of Blood; For Colored Girls; Nobody’s Fool; Jumpin’ Jack Flash; Racing Stripes; Corrina, Corrina; Made in America; House Party 2; Kingdom Come; Moonlight and Valentino; Fatal Beauty; Burglar; The Associate; BMT: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; Monkeybone; Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2; Theodore Rex; Eddie; Notes: Y’all know Whoopi. She has a crazy number of qualifying films. She has done like 1000 episodes of The View. Still does it by the looks of it. Nominated for two Oscars, one for The Color Purple and then she won a surprise victory for Ghost.)

Frank Langella – ( Known For: Lolita; Captain Fantastic; Superman Returns; The Trial of the Chicago 7; Noah; The Ninth Gate; Small Soldiers; Dave; Draft Day; All Good Things; The Men’s Club; The Box; Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; Unknown; The Tale of Despereaux; Muppets Most Wanted; Good Night, and Good Luck.; Dracula; Frost/Nixon; 5 to 7; Future BMT: Junior; Sweet November; Brainscan; BMT: Masters of the Universe; Body of Evidence; Cutthroat Island; 1492: Conquest of Paradise; Eddie; Notes: Pretty surprising he has only been nominated for one Oscar for Frost/Nixon. According to reports he decided to be Skeletor in Masters of the Universe because it seemed fun.)

Dennis Farina – ( Known For: Saving Private Ryan; Snatch; Manhunter; Out of Sight; Thief; Midnight Run; Get Shorty; Bottle Shock; Code of Silence; Romeo Is Bleeding; Big Trouble; You Kill Me; That Old Feeling; The Grand; Authors Anonymous; Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling; Knucklehead; Sidewalks of New York; Purple Violets; Bagboy; Future BMT: Little Big League; Paparazzi; Striking Distance; Havana; The Mod Squad; Another Stakeout; Stealing Harvard; BMT: What Happens in Vegas; Reindeer Games; Eddie; Notes: Famously didn’t act until he was 37-years-old and then he was cast by Michael Mann as the lead role in Crime Story. Was a Chicago Police officer for 18 years.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $31,387,164 (Worldwide: $31,387,164)

(Yeah … that’s no good. But what can you expect? It is a sports comedy starring Whoopi Goldberg. It’s just a bizarre combination.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 16% (6/37): Whoopi Goldberg may demonstrate that she can coach a basketball team with the best of them, but not even she can whip this dreary script into shape.

(Yeah, it really is just a poor concept, poor writing, no-laugh comedy. To be frank, it genuinely is a bizarre film where the sole joy is trying to figure out who the Knicks player with long blonde hair is.)

Reviewer Highlight: Avid basketball fan becomes Knicks head coach.  Savvy, good-humored Cinderella story.

Poster – Coach Looks Like a Lady

(I’m actually offended by this poster. From the image down to the tagline, it’s playing into the worst stereotype of women in sports (mostly applied to women journalists). Like she’s placed in a shower with the players and then the tagline is basically like ‘ooh la la, she’s checking out these hunks.’ Weird, bad, and the most offensive part? It has nothing to do with the movie! That’s barely touched on in the film! I think there is one gag played early on, but I don’t even remember because it has so little relevance to the majority of the film. F.)

Tagline(s) – The Newest Coach In The NBA Has Got The Knicks Right Where She Wants Them. (F)

(Yeah, so I’m going to give this one an F to go with the poster’s F. In this case the most offensive part is how long it is. I’m actually surprised the NBA didn’t have the juice or wherewithal to veto this. The Patriot’s Lisa Olson scandal happened just six years earlier.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.7 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.9 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.6 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 65.7 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.7 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006), 64.7 The Grudge 2 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Marmaduke (2010), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), … (and many more)

Best Options (Whoopi Goldberg): 62.3 Madea Goes to Jail (2009), 50.8 Racing Stripes (2005), 45.5 Eddie

(This is … fake? Weird. Basically, Eddie definitely was nominated for a Kids’ Choice. I suppose either because it was for her as an actress (instead of for the movie?). Hard to tell really. It should be there. I’ll add it. But yeah, it is because I only counted movies nominated, not people,  in the cycle at this point.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 12) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Richard Jenkins is No. 4 billed in Eddie and No. 5 billed in Say It Isn’t So, which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (4 + 5) + (1 + 2) = 12. If we were to watch Corrina, Corrina we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – The New York Knicks home games were filmed at the Charlotte Coliseum, home of the Charlotte Hornets. Only exteriors of Madison Square Garden were featured. For the final game, Hornets fans were told to cheer against the Hornets.

Many of the players and coaches portrayed in the movie were associated with actual teams: Dennis Rodman, who appears in this movie with the San Antonio Spurs, was already on the Chicago Bulls at the time of the movies release; Mark Jackson, who portrays one of the Knicks players “Taylor,” was actually drafted and played for the Knicks in the late 1980s and early 1990s; Larry Johnson, the Knicks’ biggest rival in the movie, actually went on to play for the Knicks one year after the movie was released; 3 actual New York Knicks during the time of filming had a cameo in the playground pickup scene…. John Starks, Anthony Mason, and Herb Williams all appeared during the pickup scene in the playground; and Kurt Rambis, who who would go on to coach the New York Knicks from 2014 to 2018, portrays the Lakers’ head coach in the film. Rambis would actually go on the coach the Lakers on an interim basis in 1999, but was only an assistant coach at the time of filming.

While the New York Knicks have been considered one of the worst teams in the NBA at various points in time, they were actually considered to be one of the best during the 1995-1996 season, which was when Eddie (1996) was first released into theaters. Although the movie portrayed them to be the worst, the real life Knicks had just appeared in the NBA Finals 2 years prior to the films release in 1994, losing to the Houston Rockets. As of 2023, the Knicks have not made it to the NBA Finals since 1999, and have not won since 1973.

The Cleveland Cavaliers’ uniforms were the only visiting teams’ uniforms that did not accurately match those of their true-to-life uniforms.

Both Richard Jenkins, who plays assistant coach Carl Zimmer, and Frank Langella, who plays Wild Bill Burgess, would both go on to be nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role in 2008.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Whoopi Goldberg)

The Wedding Planner Preview

Jamie and Patrick sit in their cell. Having kicked Kevin James’ head clean off it’s not a surprise they were arrested, but they are still in a bit of shock. “Looks like you’ll be going to jail for a looong time. Hoooo weeeee,” the jailor at the Smith County Jail whistles in delight, “You kicked his head clean off. Boy oh boy, what I wouldn’t give to see that again.” Just as he begins to reminisce he hears a call from the other room. Turns out there was extensive footage from the event taken from cell phone cameras and security footage. It’s already been edited into a 30 minute short film available online and is an early front runner for Best Documentary Short. He rushes into the other room to relive the greatest moment of his life. Jamie and Patrick sigh. Just then the Smith County judge walks in. “Bad Movie Twins,” he scowls, “you kicked a man’s head clean off and I think you know that you deserve to be in jail for a looong time.” Everyone in the room nods. “In fact, if I had it my way,” he continues, “you’d get the ‘lectric chair.” Again, everyone kind of agrees. Kevin James was a national treasure. “But,” he unexpectedly continues, “there is a little known precedent set in fair use law that states that while parody is protected under the first amendment, kicking the head clean off of the person doing the parody is, in itself, a parody… and so it is protected under the law.” With that he frees Jamie and Patrick, much to the delight of the crowd. A female police officer rushes up to Jamie. “Marry me!” she screams and Jamie shrugs. Sure, why not? A celebrity wedding appears to be what the people want. That’s right! We are watching the JLo classic, The Wedding Planner. Who can even remember anyone else in it. JLo! Let’s go!

The Wedding Planner (2001) – BMeTric: 57.2; Notability: 47

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 6.0%; Notability: top 13.2%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 14.3%; Higher BMeT: Glitter, Jason X, Freddy Got Fingered, Driven, The Animal, Ghosts of Mars, Black Knight, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Soul Survivors, Valentine, Monkeybone, The Musketeer, Corky Romano, Scary Movie 2, The Wedding Planner; Higher Notability: Pearl Harbor, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Monkeybone, Hannibal, Impostor, Not Another Teen Movie, Ghosts of Mars, Bubble Boy, Scary Movie 2, Swordfish, 15 Minutes, The One, The Affair of the Necklace, Town & Country, I Am Sam, America’s Sweethearts, Along Came a Spider, 3000 Miles to Graceland, Don’t Say a Word, Texas Rangers, and 13 more; Lower RT: Texas Rangers, Soul Survivors, Glitter, All the Queen’s Men, Corky Romano, The Forsaken, Summer Catch, The Wash, Out Cold, Say It Isn’t So, Joe Dirt, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, What’s the Worst That Could Happen?, Head Over Heels, Freddy Got Fingered, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Perfume, The Musketeer, Valentine, Double Take, and 14 more; Notes: Aw hell yeah, it isn’t every day we can hit up a high profile early 2000s bad movie classic. And guess what? The Animal? It’s on the docket. Although that one I’ve seen … like 4 times. I saw it in theaters.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – Jennifer Lopez looks soulfully into the eyes of Matthew McConaughey, but is he looking back? One of the many problems of “The Wedding Planner” is that we can’t tell and don’t much care. When a plot depends on two people falling in love when they absolutely should not, we have to be able to believe at some level that they have been swept up by a destiny beyond their control. McConaughey seems less inflamed by his sudden new romance than resigned to it.

(Hahahahahaha, hell yeah. That sounds hilarious. Like, a romcom where everyone kind of sucks?)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PN6Hx1sQA/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PN6Hx1sQA/

(They do a good job making them not seem like horrible people in a way. But man … J-Lo is distracting. Don’t worry, I get very deep into it in the recap. Some people would argue too deep. Way too deep.)

Directors – Adam Shankman – ( Known For: Hairspray; Disenchanted; Rock of Ages; What Men Want; Future BMT: Bedtime Stories; BMT: A Walk to Remember; The Pacifier; The Wedding Planner; Cheaper by the Dozen 2; Bringing Down the House; Notes: He was nominated for two Emmys, both for organizing the 2010 Academy Awards ceremony.)

Writers – Pamela Falk – ( Known For: An Invisible Sign; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: Those are her only credits, and there isn’t any other info on her online.)

Michael Ellis – ( BMT: The Wedding Planner; Notes: The only other thing in either of their profiles is an untitled Falk/Ellis project, so I assume there are writing partners in some capacity.)

Actors – Jennifer Lopez – ( Known For: The Mother; Shotgun Wedding; Hustlers; The Cell; Marry Me; Home; Out of Sight; Parker; Selena; U Turn; Second Act; Jersey Girl; Antz; Shall We Dance; An Unfinished Life; My Family; Bordertown; Lila & Eve; Blood and Wine; El cantante; Future BMT: Enough; Maid in Manhattan; Monster-in-Law; Jack; Ice Age: Continental Drift; Ice Age: Collision Course; Angel Eyes; The Back-up Plan; Feel the Noise; BMT: The Boy Next Door; The Wedding Planner; Anaconda; Gigli; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Money Train; Notes: Man we have a ton to go. Nominated for an Emmy for the Superbowl Halftime show. Originally I wanted to do this film because I was convinced it was the subject of one really old episode of a podcast I missed … turned out that was Maid in Manhattan.)

Matthew McConaughey – ( Known For: Interstellar; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Gentlemen; Dazed and Confused; Sing 2; A Time to Kill; Tropic Thunder; Contact; Sing; Magic Mike; Dallas Buyers Club; How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; We Are Marshall; Mud; The Lincoln Lawyer; Frailty; Reign of Fire; White Boy Rick; Killer Joe; Amistad; Future BMT: Angels in the Outfield; The Dark Tower; Sahara; Two for the Money; Paparazzi; My Boyfriend’s Back; Larger Than Life; BMT: The Wedding Planner; Tiptoes; Fool’s Gold; Failure to Launch; Serenity; Ghosts of Girlfriends Past; Notes: Won an Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club. Famously from Houston. At one point he was rumored to be running for governor of Texas in 2022, but he didn’t.)

Bridgette Wilson-Sampras – ( Known For: Billy Madison; Higher Learning; Nixon; Shopgirl; Buying the Cow; The Real Blonde; The Suburbans; Unhook the Stars; Phantom Punch; Nevada; Starstruck; Future BMT: Last Action Hero; House on Haunted Hill; Beautiful; Just Visiting; Love Stinks; BMT: Mortal Kombat; I Know What You Did Last Summer; The Wedding Planner; Extreme Ops; Notes: As you can tell by her name she married Pete Sampras, best tennis player of all time (or so we thought in like 2004 …). They have two children, the first of which should be out of college, and appears to be a model.)

Budget/Gross – $35,000,000 / Domestic: $60,400,856 (Worldwide: $94,728,529)

(That’s kind of okay. Not anything spectacular at the time, but fine for a romantic comedy I would think.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 17% (18/106): Instead of being light and charming, this romantic comedy is heavy-handed and contrived in its execution. Also, it’s too unoriginal.

(I would think all romantic comedies are unoriginal in their own way. The most successful ones always seem to be remakes.)

Reviewer Highlight: Title character falls for handsome client. Star charisma almost makes it work.

Poster – xXx: The Wedding Xander

(Woof. And I mean, woof! That is everything bad in poster making. I usually refrain from saying this, because I’m an untalented fool. But… I could make a better poster for The Wedding Planner. F… I actually do think this is an F. It’s like a child made it.)

Tagline(s) – A romantic comedy about love, destiny and other events you just can’t plan for. (F)

(Is it done yet? Have they finished the tagline? Everything about that poster is a horror show.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.6 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.6 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.4 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), Transformers: The Last Knight (2017), New York Minute (2004), Hot Pursuit (2015), Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009), Big Momma’s House (2000), An American Haunting (2005), Zookeeper (2011), The Sweetest Thing (2002), Truth or Dare (2018), Jupiter Ascending (2015), Grown Ups 2 (2013), License to Wed (2007), The Wedding Planner (2001), Tom & Jerry (2021), Point Break (2015), After (2019), Batman Forever (1995), Congo (1995), House of Wax (2005), Down to You (2000), Bride Wars (2009), The Ring Two (2005), Killers (2010), The Tuxedo (2002), I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009), The Hustle (2019), Vampire Academy (2014), Bulletproof Monk (2003), Baywatch (2017), … (and many more)

Best Options (Romance): 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 61.9 Obsessed (2009), 57.5 Maid in Manhattan (2002), 57.2 The Wedding Planner (2001), 55.3 The Back-up Plan (2010), 54.8 Honey (2003), 53.1 Aloha (2015), 52.6 Just My Luck (2006), 52.1 Loser (2000), 51.7 View from the Top (2003), 51.0 Little Fockers (2010), 49.9 Just Married (2003), 49.4 Monster-in-Law (2005), 48.1 Stomp the Yard (2007), 47.0 On the Line (2001), 46.7 You, Me and Dupree (2006), 46.5 40 Days and 40 Nights (2002), 45.5 I Feel Pretty (2018), 43.3 John Tucker Must Die (2006), 43.2 Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2003), 40.7 Mr. Deeds (2002), 40.6 The Break-Up (2006), 38.0 Whatever It Takes (2000), 37.7 Think Like a Man Too (2014), 36.5 A Cinderella Story (2004), 33.8 The Other Woman (2014), 33.8 Along Came Polly (2004), 33.3 Peeples (2013), 33.2 The Last Song (2010), 31.3 My Life in Ruins (2009), 31.2 Overboard (2018), 28.3 Chasing Liberty (2004), 26.9 Step Up 2: The Streets (2008), 24.8 Meet the Fockers (2004), 24.5 Dear John (2010), 21.9 The Ugly Truth (2009), 21.6 The Giver (2014), 21.5 The Lucky One (2012), 20.9 Charlie St. Cloud (2010), 19.1 Life as We Know It (2010), 16.9 The Beach (2000), 14.9 Grumpier Old Men (1995), 12.7 The Vow (2012), 9.3 P.S. I Love You (2007), 9.0 The Longest Ride (2015), 7.8 Remember Me (2010)

(That’s pretty good … wait, why didn’t we do Maid in Manhattan!? That’s the one I wanted to do anyways. I guess I just didn’t realize both qualified or something.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jennifer Lopez is No. 1 billed in The Wedding Planner and No. 2 billed in Gigli, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 11. If we were to watch Two for the Money we can get the HoE Number down to 10.

Notes – Jennifer Love Hewitt was developing a separate film with the same premise for her to star in but was forced to cancel the project when this film was released.

Bree Turner, who plays the bride needing comforting by Jennifer Lopez at the beginning of the movie, also opened another wedding movie, as a bridesmaid in the opening title sequence performance in My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997). Fan theories claim it was her playing the same character, still unlucky in love.

Franny’s Mother, played by Joanna Gleason, sings very badly in the movie and is asked numerous times by her daughter not to sing. In fact, Gleason has a very good singing voice and has appeared in several Broadway musicals, including “Into the Woods” for which she won the 1988 Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical.

Brendan Fraser was set to play the role of Dr. Steve/Eddie, but scheduling conflicts with filming the movie Bedazzled (2000) prevented him.

Sarah Michelle Gellar was originally set to star, but had to drop out because of scheduling conflicts from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997).

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress of the Decade (Jennifer Lopez)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Jennifer Lopez)

Glass Preview

Jamie and Patrick climb on stage and grab the microphone from Kevin James. “This man is a fraud,” they yell, “they man has no honor as he won’t name us. He will only imply that we have exceptionally itchy balls from the safety of parody. But we don’t. So Kevin James,” they turn to look at him, “Prepare to do battle.” They throw the microphone into the crowd and begin to pummel him with all their twin might. In that moment they are a mix between man and jaguar, monstrous beings that only vaguely resemble humans. Kevin James’ eyes are wild with fear. He attempts to scramble his way back into the bathroom he allegedly destroyed, but Jamie and Patrick suspect was just another one of his foul lies used for a cheap laugh. Before he gets there, they grab him by the legs and fling him like a ragdoll into his precious crowd. He begs them for help, but the crowd recoils, fearing that any help they give will be met with a storm of fury from Jamie and Patrick. Kevin James scrambles backwards, bumping up against the duffel bag he carries with him containing the many awards he has won. He attempts to appease them by giving them these trophies, like a man hoping to appease an angry god, but Jamie and Patrick simply bat away his 2013 MovieGuide Grace Award. “Help me, robot man!” Kevin James screams in desperation at Michael, but the robot nods his head. The twins have finally got it. The people are always right and the people want blood. “You’ve awakened The Beast and here comes the boom,” Jamie says demonically and with that they launch into a flying twin kick that knocks Kevin James’ head clean off. That’s right! We are watching the M. Night BMT classic Glass. He has launched himself out of director jail, but it doesn’t mean he can’t throw us a BMT bone once in a while. Let’s go!

Glass (2019) – BMeTric: 16.9; Notability: 27

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.4%; Notability: top 7.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 18.3%; Higher BMeT: Cats, Secret Obsession, IO, Escape Plan: The Extractors, The Fanatic, Hellboy, The Curse of La Llorona, After, The Poison Rose, The Silence, Tall Girl, Rim of the World, The Hustle, In the Tall Grass, Playing with Fire, Polaroid, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, Serenity, Primal, Countdown, and 26 more; Higher Notability: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, X-Men: Dark Phoenix, Men in Black: International, 6 Underground, Cats, UglyDolls, Gemini Man, Above Suspicion, The Kitchen, Angel Has Fallen, Zeroville, The Dirt, The Goldfinch, Hellboy, Shaft, Rim of the World, Otherhood, The Hustle, Rambo: Last Blood; Lower RT: The Poison Rose, Polaroid, The Coldest Game, The Hustle, The Fanatic, Buddy Games, Hellboy, After, Polar, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, Cats, The Jesus Rolls, Serenity, Miss Bala, Lucy in the Sky, Jexi, Iron Mask, X-Men: Dark Phoenix, Zeroville, Men in Black: International, and 24 more; Notes: Man, should we just watch Cats again? What a glory.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – There are glimpses of the crazy, ambitious movie that “Glass” could have been, and that’s what saves it from complete “Happening”-level disaster. Once again, McAvoy is giving it his all, even if he’s not getting as much back in return as he did last time (and is balanced by another half-hearted Willis performance in which I swear you can practically see him fall asleep). And there are just enough out-there ideas in “Glass” that it’s impossible to completely dismiss even if they don’t come together. It’s that fine line between ambitiously clunky in a way that engages the viewer and just sloppy. I honestly kept trying to engage with “Glass” as a fan of Shyamalan’s early films, comic books, and movies that try to mash-up familiar genres in a way that makes a new one. I ultimately resigned myself to the fact that it’s not my fault that it’s broken.

(Yeah, this is roughly the gist I got from a few different podcast discussions. Although some of those were more impressed with the gall of M. Night to pull the rug out from the viewers in the end.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7ztHi9ejp4/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7ztHi9ejp4/

(Solid trailer. Given how well received Split was this was quite highly anticipated as well. Looked awesome.)

Directors – M. Night Shyamalan – ( Known For: Knock at the Cabin; Split; Old; The Sixth Sense; Signs; Unbreakable; The Visit; The Village; Wide Awake; Praying with Anger; BMT: Glass; The Last Airbender; The Happening; After Earth; Lady in the Water; Notes: Y’all know M. Night. Incredible that we have officially finished his filmography … again I guess, we did previously at one point too it looks like.)

Writers – M. Night Shyamalan – ( Known For: Knock at the Cabin; Split; Old; The Sixth Sense; Signs; Unbreakable; The Visit; Stuart Little; The Village; Devil; Wide Awake; Praying with Anger; BMT: Glass; The Last Airbender; The Happening; After Earth; Lady in the Water; Notes: The son of two doctors (I think) in Philadelphia which is why he always sets his films there. Prior to him ever directing a film he declared he would be the next Spielberg. He kind of was for a bit.)

Actors – James McAvoy – ( Known For: Split; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Deadpool 2; Atonement; The Bubble; It Chapter Two; Wanted; X: First Class; X-Men: Apocalypse; X-Men: Days of Future Past; Atomic Blonde; Trance; The Last King of Scotland; Filth; Gnomeo & Juliet; Muppets Most Wanted; Penelope; Becoming Jane; Starter for 10; My Son; Future BMT: Victor Frankenstein; Sherlock Gnomes; BMT: Glass; X-Men: Dark Phoenix; Notes: He was pretty good in Split, although I didn’t care for the little kid character. Scottish, and a bit amazing he’s never been nominated for an Academy Award at least.)

Bruce Willis – ( Known For: Pulp Fiction; The Fifth Element; Split; Sin City; The Sixth Sense; Moonrise Kingdom; Die Hard; Alpha Dog; Unbreakable; 12 Monkeys; The Expendables; Over the Hedge; Assassin; Wrong Place; Looper; RED; Paradise City; Planet Terror; The Last Boy Scout; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Future BMT: Tears of the Sun; The Cold Light of Day; The Jackal; Blind Date; Hostage; Surrogates; Striking Distance; Loaded Weapon 1; Last Man Standing; Cop Out; Look Who’s Talking Too; Sunset; The Story of Us; Rugrats Go Wild; Billy Bathgate; Rock the Kasbah; BMT: G.I. Joe: Retaliation; Armageddon; Glass; Death Wish; Color of Night; A Good Day to Die Hard; The Bonfire of the Vanities; Perfect Stranger; Hudson Hawk; Mercury Rising; North; The Whole Ten Yards; Notes: Sadly retired from acting due to, effectively, dementia which caused aphasia. His last few years of multiple horrible films was basically him making a little bit of money for his family prior to revealing the diagnosis.)

Samuel L. Jackson – ( Known For: Avengers: Endgame; Pulp Fiction; Avengers: Infinity War; Goodfellas; Kingsman: The Secret Service; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; A Time to Kill; Inglourious Basterds; Jurassic Park; Django Unchained; Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith; Iron Man; The Avengers; Captain America: The First Avenger; Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones; The Hateful Eight; Oldboy; The Incredibles; Thor; Future BMT: The Legend of Tarzan; Spiral; Star Wars: The Clone Wars; Rules of Engagement; Life Itself; Sphere; The Spirit; Basic; Loaded Weapon 1; Formula 51; One Eight Seven; The Man; Fluke; Amos & Andrew; Strictly Business; Freedomland; BMT: Glass; Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard; Jumper; Shaft; xXx: State of the Union; Twisted; Notes: Incredibly prolific. Obviously smashed out an incredible run in the MCU, and now has a new TV show there as well.)

Budget/Gross – $20,000,000 / Domestic: $111,048,468 (Worldwide: $246,999,039)

(That is really good. Ever since M. Night paired up with Blumhouse he’s been making bank because I think he basically puts up the whole $20 million himself and gets like all the profit.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 37% (149/408): Glass displays a few glimmers of M. Night Shyamalan at his twisty world-building best, but ultimately disappoints as the conclusion to the writer-director’s long-gestating trilogy.

(Yeah, basically. But films that are this close to not qualifying are usually either boring or good. I guess we’ll see.)

NY Times Short Review: In his enjoyable, messy sequel to “Unbreakable” and “Split,” Shyamalan joins together three adversaries in a world of ordinary terrors.

Poster – Glass Smash

(This is unfortunately just OK. I like the different colors and the artistic qualities I’m seeing, but it looks a little like when a TV has motion smoothing on. And look at that font. Horrible. Just do better, cause I like the ideas. B-.)

Tagline(s) – None (F)

(I don’t see a real tagline on the poster, which is where I like to get my taglines. IMDb does have a whole bunch listed though, so they must have been used somewhere. Just not here.)

Keyword(s) – wisdom

Top 10: The Dark Knight (2008), Inception (2010), Forrest Gump (1994), The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), The Dark Knight Rises (2012), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), Batman Begins (2005), Inglourious Basterds (2009), The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Future BMT: 88.5 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003), 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 83.5 Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World (2011), 82.2 You Got Served (2004), 80.0 Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009), 79.6 Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000), 78.8 Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011), 77.5 Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009), 77.2 Superhero Movie (2008), 72.3 Bewitched (2005), 71.4 The Animal (2001), 69.3 College Road Trip (2008), 68.9 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 68.2 Yogi Bear (2010), 67.6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 65.3 Fat Albert (2004), 65.0 Scary Movie 4 (2006)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), The Emoji Movie (2017), The Last Airbender (2010), Fifty Shades of Grey (2015), The Cat in the Hat (2003), Crossroads (2002), Norbit (2007), Fantastic Four (2015), From Justin to Kelly (2003), The Master of Disguise (2002), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000), xXx: State of the Union (2005), Sex and the City 2 (2010), Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007), Fifty Shades Freed (2018), The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009), Little Man (2006), Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015), Taxi (2004), Freddy Got Fingered (2001), I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Zoolander 2 (2016), Kangaroo Jack (2003), Are We Done Yet? (2007), Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011), The Boy Next Door (2015), Wild Wild West (1999), Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000), Year One (2009), Are We There Yet? (2005), Big Momma’s House 2 (2006), Marmaduke (2010), The Roommate (2011), Tammy (2014), Abduction (2011), Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous (2005), A Good Day to Die Hard (2013), Independence Day: Resurgence (2016), … and many more

Best Options (Horror): 84.0 Prom Night (2008), 68.5 Poltergeist (2015), 65.6 The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008), 65.6 Halloween Ends (2022), 64.7 The Grudge 2 (2006), 64.5 Darkness Falls (2003), 63.6 Valentine (2001), 61.2 A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), 59.9 Exorcist: The Beginning (2004), 58.7 Scary Movie 2 (2001), 55.2 Annabelle (2014), 50.7 Saw 3D (2010), 50.5 Halloween Kills (2021), 49.3 The Omen (2006), 48.5 White Noise (2005), 40.9 Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010), 40.4 Gothika (2003), 36.9 The Amityville Horror (2005), 36.5 Hide and Seek (2005), 33.2 House of 1000 Corpses (2003), 27.8 Dark Shadows (2012), 27.7 Saw III (2006), 25.7 Idle Hands (1999), 23.9 The Uninvited (2009), 19.2 Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013), 17.0 Saw II (2005), 16.9 Glass (2019)

(Oh hell yeah, we picked the last one. The reason is because we were already watching a bunch of M. Night films. So … there we are. We almost watched Prom Night.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Bruce Willis is No. 2 billed in Glass and No. 1 billed in Armageddon, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 3 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 13. If we were to watch The Jackal, Nights in Rodanthe, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 12.

Notes – Samuel L. Jackson said of working with James McAvoy on the movie, “As good as I like to think I am or what I do and how I do it, watching somebody transform characters in front of your eyes and have an argument with four different people is pretty amazing.”

Director M. Night Shyamalan was able to incorporate unseen footage from Unbreakable (2000) into this film, for flashback scenes involving the younger versions of David and Joseph.

Although Disney owns the rights to Unbreakable (2000), director M. Night Shyamalan retained the rights to any potential sequels, so that the studio could not make one without his involvement. Such was his desire for creative control that he co-financed this film by mortgaging his house.

Director M. Night Shyamalan talked about the importance of colors in this movie, saying, “I chose green for David Dunn because psychologically, it is associated with life giving properties. David is the protector of life. I chose ochre or mustard for The Beast because this color is associated with religious ceremonies, Hindu and Buddhist. A monk’s robe. I see The Beast as an evangelist, a preacher who wants to help save ‘The Broken.’ Finally, I chose purple for Mr. Glass because this color has been associated with royalty, majestic qualities. Elijah sees himself as important, a main character of comics.”

Director M. Night Shyamalan said that the original cut of the film had a run time of nearly three and a half hours. He “trimmed it up a bit” by cutting three of Kevin Crumb’s 23 personalities out of the film.

The original script for Unbreakable (2000) included Kevin as an emerging villain for David to face against, but director M. Night Shyamalan could never make it work within the confines of a single movie. Thus, Kevin ended up being Split (2016) off into his own movie, with this film as the culmination of the original idea.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Bruce Willis, 2019)

Flashdance Preview

Just as it appears that Jamie and Patrick are going to do battle they transition into a patented Double Twin Punch directly into Michael’s chest. His chest bursts open, showering them in a multitude of springs and other mechanical doodads. A slow clap rings through the emptiness of the catacombs. “Brilliant,” says Drake Dudikoff. His brother, Charlie, smiles broadly at his side. “We knew you were the ones, we just never imagined you would do it so quickly,” Charlie remarks. “What was it? Was it how closely our story paralleled that of Citizen Kane? The dreams of youth, and loss of innocence associated with the loss of our brother Michael, driving us to ruin in our ambition?” His eyes shine. Jamie and Patrick smirk. “Your story is Toys, my man,” Jamie says wryly. “Dreams of youth… loss of innocence… Michael is a classic Alsatia Zevo. Which of course means The Gutes is…” Another slow clap rings out revealing The Gutes, “LL Cool G himself. It told you these guys were legit,” The Gutes says. Charlie and Drake nod their heads in agreement, “Join us, Movie Twins, and learn what it is you seek. You yearn to know what is good? Then we shall teach you. You want to take your knowledge and help the world? This is where it happens. Look at what we built from our pain and suffering,” they say pointing at the remains of Michael, “Years of painstaking construction from our favorite Ferrari Testarossa which you destroyed with one punch. Think of all the other things you can punch… with your minds.” Jamie and Patrick agree. Point them in the direction of good and their brains will punch it. “Alright,” Drake says, “hope you guys brought your jorts.” That’s right! We are transitioning to the dance club to listen to some sweet tunes and some dope beats. We’re real cool and real rad and we know what the people want. Flashdance! Let’s go!

Flashdance (1983) – BMeTric: 26.2; Notability: 58

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.4%; Notability: top 1.6%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 15.3%; Higher BMeT: Jaws 3-D, Superman III, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Staying Alive, Amityville 3-D, Curse of the Pink Panther, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Hercules, Two of a Kind, Deal of the Century, Doctor Detroit, Stroker Ace, Still Smokin, Spring Break, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, The Final Terror, D.C. Cab, Grizzly II: Revenge, The Sting II, Krull, and 1 more; Higher Notability: Superman III, Curse of the Pink Panther, Krull, Deal of the Century; Lower RT: Staying Alive, The Sting II, Nate and Hayes, The Lonely Lady, Grizzly II: Revenge, The Survivors, Porky’s II: The Next Day, Still Smokin, Jaws 3-D, Deal of the Century, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Two of a Kind, D.C. Cab, Amityville 3-D, Stroker Ace, Spring Break, The Black Stallion Returns, Hercules, Class, Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, and 9 more; Notes: The Notability is off the chain there. But so is Krull! I guess a big part of Krull is it has a huge cast (including Liam Neeson) of people who became famous maybe. Still seems insane.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – “Flashdance” is like a movie that won a free 90-minute shopping spree in the Hollywood supermarket. The director (Adrian Lynn, of the much better “Foxes”) and his collaborators race crazily down the aisles, grabbing a piece of “Saturday Night Fever,” a slice of “Urban Cowboy,” a quart of “Marty” and a 2-pound box of “Archie Bunker’s Place.” The result is great sound and flashdance, signifying nothing. But Jennifer Beals shouldn’t feel bad. She is a natural talent, she is fresh and engaging here, and only needs to find an agent with a natural talent for turning down scripts.

(I mean, some high praise there, but an interesting take. I guess you are really slammed in the early 80s for being “derivative” when I think something like this in the 90s appears to border on ironic? Hard to tell. Exciting nonetheless.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9GJ9AWE9M4/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9GJ9AWE9M4/

(That is a risque trailer for the 80s I feel like. A good trailer though. Makes me want to watch some dancing.)

Directors – Adrian Lyne – ( Known For: Lolita; Deep Water; Fatal Attraction; Unfaithful; Jacob’s Ladder; 9½ Weeks; Foxes; Future BMT: Indecent Proposal; BMT: Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Indecent Proposal in 1994; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Fatal Attraction. Deep Water was supposed to be the return of the Erotic Thriller. Instead people maybe just realized that the genre is too weird to resurrect.)

Writers – Thomas Hedley Jr. – ( Known For: Obsession; Hard to Hold; Double Negative; Mr. Patman; Future BMT: Fighting Back; BMT: Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Flashdance in 1984; Notes: He maybe retired only a few years later? He basically only gets mentioned when people need to try and get the rights to Flashdance.)

Joe Eszterhas – ( Known For: Basic Instinct; Jagged Edge; Music Box; F.I.S.T.; An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn; Telling Lies in America; Big Shots; Hearts of Fire; Szabadság, szerelem; Checking Out; Future BMT: Showgirls; Nowhere to Run; Betrayed; BMT: Flashdance; Sliver; Basic Instinct 2; Jade; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay, Worst Supporting Actor, Worst New Star, and Worst Original Song for An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn in 1999; Winner for Worst Screenplay for Showgirls in 1996; Winner for Worst New Star for Ringmaster in 1999; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay in 1984 for Flashdance; in 1994 for Sliver; and in 1996 for Jade; Notes: Famously wrote a ton of erotic thrillers and the legendarily bad Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee Film. Was nominated for the National Book Award in 1975.)

Actors – Jennifer Beals – ( Known For: My Bodyguard; Luckiest Girl Alive; Vampire’s Kiss; Runaway Jury; The Book of Eli; Four Rooms; Before I Fall; Devil in a Blue Dress; The Last Days of Disco; Manhattan Night; The Thief and the Cobbler; The Anniversary Party; Roger Dodger; In the Soup; Full Out; Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle; Dear Diary; Queen to Play; The Twilight of the Golds; The Search for One-eye Jimmy; Future BMT: The Grudge 2; Catch That Kid; The Bride; BMT: After; Flashdance; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress for The Bride in 1986; Notes: This started her career and since then she’s done a ton of television including some Star Wars, The L Word, and recently The L Word spinoff.)

Michael Nouri – ( Known For: The Proposal; The Terminal; The Squeeze; Finding Forrester; Invincible; Woman Walks Ahead; Last Holiday; The Hidden; Captain America; Goodbye, Columbus; To the Limit; Con Man; Beyond the Trek; Lovely & Amazing; Alex & The List; American Yakuza; Boynton Beach Club; Any Day Now; High Roller: The Stu Ungar Story; Gangster Wars; Future BMT: GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords; BMT: Flashdance; Notes: Young and the Restless, The O.C., All My Children. The man is a soap legend. He sung the theme for Search for Tomorrow.)

Lilia Skala – ( Known For: Ship of Fools; Testament; Charly; House of Games; Lilies of the Field; Caprice; Heartland; Men of Respect; Call Me Madam; Deadly Hero; Roseland; Man braucht kein Geld; BMT: Flashdance; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar for Lilies of the Field. She’s from Austria.)

Budget/Gross – $7 million / Domestic: $92,921,203 (Worldwide: $92,921,203)

(Wowza, that’s a box office smash! The rights must be totally f-ed because there is little alternative explanation as to why there wouldn’t have been a remake or sequel.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 35% (17/49): All style and very little substance, Flashdance boasts eye-catching dance sequences — and benefits from an appealing performance from Jennifer Beals — but its narrative is flat-footed.

(Oh boo hoo. The film about dancing has a bland story? Footloose baby! The power of a good soundtrack and an appealing lead. Just let it flow is what I say.)

New York Times Short Review: Thin plot but marvelous footwork.

Poster – Flashpants

(I like how people are like “no, no, Flashdance was not selling sex. It was selling the dreams of a young girl who just wanted to dance.” Right, that’s definitely what I’m getting from this poster. It’s OK, the film can be great and also sell itself on being steamy, even in a PG-13 kind of way. Not the best poster, but iconic. I grade it an I for iconic.)

Tagline(s) – What a feeling. (A+)

Something happens when she hears the music…it’s her freedom. It’s her fire. It’s her life. (B+)

(That second one is great if they didn’t add the front part to it. What a feeling is also pretty great from an advertising angle. You can almost feel like girls and boys alike would see this poster and then have their pulse race a little when they are told “what a feeling.” It’s not an A+ on its merits, but like the poster as a whole it’s an A+ in execution.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.1 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 72.0 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.7 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.7 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.6 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.1 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.4 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 48.0 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.8 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Mac and Me (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Poltergeist III (1988), Cool World (1992), Wild Orchid (1989), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Sliver (1993), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Blame It on Rio (1984), Days of Thunder (1990), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), Flashdance (1983), The Cannonball Run (1981), Tango & Cash (1989), Stone Cold (1991), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (wisdom): 26.2 Flashdance (1983), 12.8 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

(Top choice. In reality a huge reason to pick Flashdance was it was standalone. Because you know I would be watching Home Alone again, and we’d at least have to consider Home Alone 3 (which I believe, somehow, qualifies). And thus ends The One and Only cycle, the biggest data analysis BMT has ever done.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 32) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Malcolm Danare is No. 11 billed in Flashdance and No. 11 billed in Godzilla, which also stars Jean Reno (No. 2 billed) who is in Rollerball (No. 5 billed) which also stars Chris Klein (No. 1 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 2 billed) => (11 + 11) + (2 + 5) + (1 + 2) = 32. If we were to watch Staying Alive, Jack, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 18.

Notes – Jennifer Beals’ trend-setting collarless sweatshirt came about by accident. The sweatshirt, which Beals brought from home, had shrunk in the wash and she had to cut the collar off in order to get it over her head. When director Adrian Lyne and costume designer Michael Kaplan saw it at the wardrobe fitting, they both loved it and Kaplan improved the overall look of the sweatshirt for the actual shoot.

Based on the life of construction worker/welder-turned-dancer Maureen Marder.

Marine Jahan was Jennifer Beals’ body double for the dancing scenes. Jahan was kept hidden from the press because the filmmakers did not want to ruin the illusion. Alex’s leap through the air in the audition scene was done by gymnast Sharon Shapiro and the break-dancing was done by Crazy Legs. Jahan appeared in the music video for “Maniac”.

In 1982, Maureen Marder, whose life the film loosely is based on, signed an agreement with Paramount releasing it from any claim regarding her life story. In return she received a check for $2,300. The movie later took in an estimated $200 million worldwide.

The traffic cop who Alex mimics to a tune from Bizet’s Carmen is famous in Pittsburgh. His name is Vic Cianca, and he was well known for his “choreography,” directing traffic in Pittsburgh for over 30 years. He was known as the “Nureyev of the Intersection,” a moniker bestowed on him by Phil Musick of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

In the early years of home video, Paramount tried an experiment in which this film was given a heavily promoted home video release while the film was still playing in some cinemas. The box office was expected to drop off to nothing as soon as the tape became available for rental. Instead, the heavy promotion caused an increase in box office receipts.

Joe Esposito recorded the vocals to the original version of Flashdance … What A Feeling. Producer Don Simpson and Adrienne Lynn decided that since the lead character was a female, the song needed to be sung by a female. They hired Irene Cara to perform the song at the last minute. She re-wrote the original lyrics while riding in a car to the recording studio the day she recorded the song, and wound up winning an Oscar for her performance.

Michael Sembello had intended that the rhythm of “Maniac” be too fast to dance to.

This is the the first film to become a smash hit largely due to MTV. The opening weekend box office receipts were about $6 million, but the soundtrack immediately became a best-seller in the U.S. The film’s music producers and credited artists worked very quickly to film videos for songs such as “What a Feeling” and “Maniac” to get them on MTV. Younger viewers sustained the film’s run well beyond what was then expected for films that were released outside of the summer or winter holidays, were rated R, or didn’t have major stars involved. The movie took in an estimated $200 million worldwide.

The soundtrack to the movie sold 700,000 copies in its first two weeks of release.

Awards – Winner for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Giorgio Moroder, Keith Forsey, Irene Cara, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Cinematography (Donald Peterman, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Film Editing (Bud S. Smith, Walt Mulconery, 1984)

Nominee for the Oscar for Best Music, Original Song (Michael Sembello, Dennis Matkosky, 1984)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Thomas Hedley Jr., Joe Eszterhas, 1984)

Supergirl Preview

“You best move out of the way, Michael,” Jamie says, limbering up for a classic Twin Tussle. He shakes his arms out wildly and does a few splits to loosen up his hips. Meanwhile Patrick just stands there like a statue, the smirk frozen on his face, eyes glazed over like doll’s eyes. He has withdrawn deep within himself, a meditative state that he enters just before he engages in great violence. Michael attempts to play peacekeeper. He recognizes the danger that these two opposing forces represent. Great kinetic energy coming into contact with immense potential energy. Like a lit match and a stick of dynamite. “Gentlemen, please, can’t you see we are on the same side. You have been chosen for a great responsibility and no matter how much you want to pretend you are a couple of cowboys, a couple of wild cards, a couple of rock and roll detectives, you know in your hearts that you are Jamie and Patrick, in search of something bigger than the next bad movie that comes across your path.” Michael steps between them, his voice now shaking with emotion. “You are meant to find this treasure and learn a great truth about yourselves. A great truth that you can bring out into the world. A great truth that you have been heading towards ever since you started this story. The story of the bad movie twins, which is no longer the story of the bad movie twins. It’s just your story… together.” Jamie stares at Michael in astonishment and begins to nod his head. “Yeah,” he begins, “yeah, that’s real dumb. I’m not doing that.” He turns back to Patrick, still frozen in place. “Prepare to meet my two friends,” Jamie says, kissing his fists, “Supergirl and The Punisher.” That’s right! We are venturing back into the superhero world with the last Superman movie we have to do. Supergirl! What’s that? It’s not the last Superman film we have to do? That can’t be right. Haven’t we already done a thousand of them? Anyway, we are pairing that with the Dolph Lundgren vehicle The Punisher, which much like the Fantastic Four film we watched appears to be some kind of financial scheme. Let’s go!

Supergirl (1984) – BMeTric: 72.1; Notability: 60

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 0.0%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 4.1%; Higher Notability: Cannonball Run II; Lower RT: Bolero, The Hills Have Eyes Part II, Reckless, Thief of Hearts, Exterminator 2, Until September, Crackers, Ghoulies, Blame It on Rio; Notes: Pretty insane stuff there. 50+ Notability in 1985. 70+ BMeTric, which is exceedingly rare. Highest BMeTric of 1984, and we saw the higher Notability too. I love it when we can hit some of these big boys.

RogerEbert.com – 2.0 stars – The appearance of “Supergirl,” so soon after “Superman III,” is an indication that the producers of the “Superman” movies have forgotten, if they ever consciously knew it, the real secret of the movies. We do not go to “Superman” and “Supergirl” movies to laugh condescendingly at the characters (which is what the writers, directors, and even some of the actors have started to do). We go to recapture some of the lost innocence of the whole notion of superheroes. The gift of Christopher Reeve, in his best scenes and when the filmmakers allow it, is to play Superman without laughing, to take him seriously so that we can have some innocent escapist fun. Helen Slater has the same gift, but is given even less chance to exercise it in “Supergirl,” and the result is an unhappy, unfunny, unexciting movie. Why even go to the trouble of making a movie that feels like it’s laughing at itself?

(Uh oh Roger Ebert … you must be rolling in your grave. Because there is nary an action film today which isn’t quite often turned into a (pretty bad) action comedy. And I suppose the two notable exceptions in recent memory in Top Gun: Maverick and Avatar: The Way of Water ended up working. So maybe Ebert was onto something there.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=608EbBVkiTI/

(Wowza the voice at the end sounds awful. Silly shit though. Looks like it could be fun just by virtue of being so silly … although I also know that the film is over 2 hours which is absurd.)

Directors – Jeannot Szwarc – ( Known For: Jaws 2; Somewhere in Time; Bug; Enigma; Extreme Close-Up; Hercule & Sherlock; The Sun Sisters; Honor Bound; La vengeance d’une blonde; BMT: Supergirl; Santa Claus: The Movie; Notes: Born in France, raised in Argentina. Got Jaws 2 because of an episode of Night Gallery he directed.)

Writers – David Odell – ( Known For: The Dark Crystal; Cry Uncle; Dealing: Or the Berkeley-to-Boston Forty-Brick Lost-Bag Blues; Running Scared; Foreplay; Future BMT: Nate and Hayes; BMT: Masters of the Universe; Supergirl; Notes: Obviously a big Muppets guy given that he wrote The Dark Crystal. Woman an Emmy for The Muppet Show.)

Actors – Helen Slater – ( Known For: City Slickers; The Legend of Billie Jean; The Secret of My Success; Ruthless People; Lassie; The Steal; No Way Back; Happy Together; Seeing Other People; The Curse of Downers Grove; A House in the Hills; Sticky Fingers; Betrayal of the Dove; Beautiful Wave; Echo Park; BMT: Supergirl; Notes: Ended up acting in the recent Supergirl television series. Mostly television work over the years including a starring turn in The Lying Game.)

Faye Dunaway – ( Known For: Bonnie and Clyde; Chinatown; Network; The Handmaid’s Tale; The Thomas Crown Affair; The Towering Inferno; Three Days of the Condor; The Rules of Attraction; The Three Musketeers; The Man Who Drew God; The Thomas Crown Affair; Mommie Dearest; Little Big Man; Don Juan DeMarco; The Two Jakes; The Case for Christ; The Arrangement; Barfly; Arizona Dream; Inconceivable; Future BMT: The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc; Dunston Checks In; The Temp; BMT: Supergirl; The Bye Bye Man; The Chamber; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actress in 1982 for Mommie Dearest, and Tarzan the Ape Man; Winner for Worst Supporting Actress for The Temp in 1994; Nominee for Worst Actress in 1981 for The First Deadly Sin; in 1984 for The Wicked Lady; and in 1985 for Supergirl; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress in 1997 for Dunston Checks In, and The Chamber; and in 1998 for Albino Alligator; and Nominee for Worst Actress of the Decade in 1990 for Mommie Dearest, Supergirl, The First Deadly Sin, and The Wicked Lady; Notes: Won the Oscar for Network in addition to being nominated two other times (Chinatown and Bonnie and Clyde). Has always done film over the years, although her last major film was probably the BMT classic The Bye Bye Man.)

Peter O’Toole – ( Known For: Troy; Ratatouille; Caligula; Stardust; Lawrence of Arabia; The Last Emperor; Casino Royale; The Lion in Winter; The Bible: In the Beginning…; How to Steal a Million; Becket; What’s New Pussycat; The Stunt Man; FairyTale: A True Story; My Favorite Year; The Ruling Class; Zulu Dawn; Man of La Mancha; Bright Young Things; Venus; Future BMT: King Ralph; One Night with the King; High Spirits; Club Paradise; For Greater Glory: The True Story of Cristiada; Creator; The Nutcracker Prince; BMT: Supergirl; Phantoms; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor for Supergirl in 1985; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Club Paradise in 1987; Notes: Died in 2013. Famously nominated for 8 Oscars without winning one, including for Lawrence of Arabia (his first nomination). Was awards an honorary Oscar in 2003.)

Budget/Gross – $35 million / Domestic: $14,296,438 (Worldwide: $14,296,438)

(That is no good. I suppose they really did think they were going to get the full Superman haul with the spinoff. Didn’t work out.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 8% (3/36): The effects are cheesy and Supergirl’s wide-eyed, cheery heroine simply isn’t interesting to watch for an hour and a half.

(Awwww. But yeah, that seems quite bad. Want to hear something odd? The New York Times was marking this film with a star up until maybe 1996. So prior to that they were basically recommending the film. So an apparently rare recommend from them for the film.)

New York Times Short Review: Pale supercousin to you-know-who. Flashy, colorful fun.

Poster – Super 18-year-old

(I don’t mind it, although I feel like they felt like they were being super smart by having her fly around the statue of liberty. From one super girl to another or something, which kinda tells you everything you need to know about the movie. A little old fashioned, but has some depth and font and artistry. B-.)

Tagline(s) – Her first great adventure. (D)

(Oh sweet summer child. Outside of the somewhat amusing irony, this is too generic to count for much.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (superhero): 72.1 Supergirl (1984), 41.6 Sheena (1984)

(I had to add it into the superhero option since Supergirl and Citizen Kane only played on the same date (that I could find) on March 15, 1986 which wasn’t in my original 90s exclusive set. Sheena is a weird option. And obviously The Punisher (1989) works, but it doesn’t qualify, it came out in too few theaters.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 13) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Peter O’Toole is No. 3 billed in Supergirl and No. 2 billed in Phantoms, which also stars Ben Affleck (No. 1 billed) who is in Pearl Harbor (No. 1 billed) which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (3 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 13. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – The film’s opening credits cost almost $1 million to shoot.

Marc McClure (Jimmy Olsen) is the only actor to reprise his role from any of the “Superman” films.

Almost 85% of the film was shot on giant sound stages at Pinewood Studios.

The original script had Supergirl trying to rescue Superman, who had fallen ill due to Selena’s magic.

The film was intended to be the first in a series. Its lack of box-office success ended those plans.

Helen Slater had to train three hours a day for three months to do the outdoor flying sequences, where she was suspended by wires from a 200-foot tower crane.

The film was completed by Warner Brothers. After Superman III (1983) had underperformed, the studio decided not to release it. Tri-Star Pictures, a subsidiary of Sony Pictures, picked it up, and cut it from 126 minutes to 105. That being said, the original 126 minute cut was used for foreign theatrical releases, dubbed the International cut. Warner eventually regained full rights to the film and finally released it on DVD in 2006 in its international cut.

Peter Cook would later complain of Faye Dunaway’s diva behavior on this film and her constant lack of punctuality resulting in delays. At one point the producers even considered replacing her with Anjelica Huston or Jane Fonda.

John Williams’s theme for Superman (1978) appears briefly in Jerry Goldsmith’s score.

Brooke Shields was the first choice for the role of Supergirl, but was turned down because of her 6’0″ height.

Film debut of Helen Slater. Many years later, Slater would later appear in three episodes of Smallville (2001), playing Lara, the Kryptonian mother of Kal-El/Clark Kent, and then get a recurring role in Supergirl (2015) as Supergirl’s adoptive mother, Eliza Danvers.

Dolly Parton was offered $7 million to take the role of Selena, but she turned it down, claiming that she couldn’t play a witch, no matter how much money was offered. Jane Fonda and Goldie Hawn also turned the role down.

The scenes in which the monster tractor destroys the town took 22 consecutive days to shoot.

With a total domestic gross of $14 million, this movie made the least money of all the films in the Superman series, just behind Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) which made $15 million.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Peter O’Toole, 1985)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actress (Faye Dunaway, 1985)

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane Preview

Jamie sighs as they turn another corner in the catacombs. “Time works differently…” Michael begins before Jamie tunes him out. If they had known that the only other member of the Ultra-Hard Party was Michael he probably would have passed on the task, Gutes or no Gutes. Particularly if he knew the first stop was the catacombs. But when he turns to mention how lame the catacombs are to Patrick he is surprised to see a slight smirk on his face. Is he enjoying himself? “Are you enjoying yourself?” Jamie asks incredulously. Patrick smirks even deeper. Jamie stops and shoves him “Yo, look at Circus Smirkus over here. You smirking up a storm while we wander the catacombs like a couple of dopes? Don’t you see,” he says, eyes wild, tapping his temple furiously, “this is all a ruse. A way to get us down here while they draft up Steve Guttenberg’s expulsion papers.” If you could see Patrick’s face you would have said it was impossible he could smirk any deeper. He was, in that moment, the Michael Jordan of smirking. But just then… if you can believe it… he smirked ever so slightly more. “Gahhhhhh,” Jamie yells, the noise careening off the walls of the super lame catacombs. “That’s it!” Jamie says finger dangerously close to Patrick’s smirk, “You don’t smirk at me like that unless we’re both smirking. Both smirking about something clever we did. But does it look like I’m smirking? Well, does it punk?” Michael is bewildered and scared. “Boys, boys, please, we’re almost there, I assure you.” But Jamie is too far gone. “Oh we’re not going any further with you, Michael, we’re heading up to save Gutes. But first let me wipe that smirk off Sir Smirks-a-lot’s face over there. Rock and roll.” That’s right! We are taking on The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (the rock and roll detective) in the first entry of Brary Bros. Just a couple guys talking the ‘brary (the library that is) and enjoying the fruits of a functioning society that allows for the communal sharing of knowledge. Oh we don’t have The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in our library network? No prob, cause it was available in our extensive network of Brary Bros. The world is our oyster. Library! Let’s go!

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) – BMeTric: 18.1; Notability: 61

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 18.8%; Notability: top 2.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 12.3%; Higher BMeT: Captain America, Look Who’s Talking Too, Rocky V, The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter, Ghost Dad, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Graveyard Shift, Soultaker, Problem Child, Fire Birds, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Navy Seals, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Loose Cannons, RoboCop 2, Ernest Goes to Jail, Death Warrant, Desperate Hours, Hard to Kill, Air America, and 27 more; Higher Notability: RoboCop 2, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Predator 2, Days of Thunder, Jetsons: The Movie; Lower RT: Problem Child, Graveyard Shift, Death Warrant, Madhouse, Loose Cannons, Funny About Love, Soultaker, Ghost Dad, Spaced Invaders, Fire Birds, Meet the Applegates, Where the Heart Is, Heart Condition, Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection, Ernest Goes to Jail, Opportunity Knocks, Captain America, Air America, Look Who’s Talking Too, Everybody Wins, and 9 more; Notes: Wait wait wait wait … this film has a 50+ Notability? How? This creates so many more questions than I had prior to generating this email.

RogerEbert.com – 1.0 stars – “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” is a movie about a hero I didn’t like, chasing villains I didn’t hate, in a plot I didn’t understand. It is also loud, ugly and mean-spirited. That makes it the ideal vehicle for Andrew Dice Clay, a comedian whose humor is based upon hating those not in the room for the entertainment of those present. … If he wants a future in the movies, Andrew Dice Clay is going to have to play somebody other than himself.

(This sounds just about right. He was a comedian with a schtick, and they made a movie about his schtick, and it didn’t work as a movie or a comedy or anything.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1s3pfSsjWw/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1s3pfSsjWw/

(Seems really annoying and unfunny. Which makes sense. I’ve always heard his comedy is really annoying and unfunny.)

Directors – Renny Harlin – ( Known For: Deep Blue Sea; The Long Kiss Goodnight; Cliffhanger; Die Hard 2; The Misfits; A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; Devil’s Pass; Skiptrace; Cleaner; Prison; 5 Days of War; Born American; Legend of the Ancient Sword; Class Reunion 3; Bodies at Rest; Future BMT: Exorcist: The Beginning; 12 Rounds; BMT: The Covenant; Cutthroat Island; The Legend of Hercules; Mindhunters; Driven; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director in 1991 for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; in 1996 for Cutthroat Island; in 2002 for Driven; in 2005 for Exorcist: The Beginning; in 2015 for The Legend of Hercules; and in 2022 for The Misfits; Notes: Notably Finnish. Also notably was the original director of Alien 3 prior to leaving right before filming started resulting in the directorial debut of David Fincher.)

Writers – Daniel Waters – ( Known For: Heathers; Batman Returns; Sex and Death 101; Happy Campers; BMT: Demolition Man; Vampire Academy; Hudson Hawk; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay in 1991 for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; and in 1992 for Hudson Hawk; Notes: Apparently owns the house Orson Welles died in?)

James Cappe – ( BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in 1991; Notes: A writer on both the Mortal Combat and Poltergeist live action television series.)

David Arnott – ( Future BMT: Last Action Hero; BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in 1991; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Last Action Hero in 1994; Notes: Kind of interesting in that both this and Last Action Hero are somewhat known for the breaking of the fourth wall and specifically skewer the music and movie industries in LA.)

Rex Weiner – ( BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Notes: Apparently the movie is based on a book. Or more precisely Weiner was a reporter for Variety and these were a series of noir-ish stories he wrote that were adapted.)

Actors – Andrew Dice Clay – ( Known For: A Star Is Born; Pretty in Pink; Blue Jasmine; Private Resort; Amazon Women on the Moon; Night Patrol; Making the Grade; My 5 Wives; Wacko; Foolish; No Contest; Future BMT: Entourage; Jury Duty; Casual Sex?; One Night at McCool’s; BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in 1991; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay, and Worst Actor for Dice Rules in 1992; Notes: Hickory. Dickory. Doc. Known for his odd comedic character, dirty nursery rhymes, and strange acting trajectory. Was in 17 episodes of Crime Story, and this was his first major theatrical film.)

Lauren Holly – ( Known For: Spirited Away; Dumb and Dumber; What Women Want; Beautiful Girls; Any Given Sunday; Sabrina; The Blackcoat’s Daughter; Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story; Down Periscope; Seven Minutes in Heaven; How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town; The Chumscrubber; Field of Lost Shoes; In Enemy Hands; After the Ball; Tammy’s Always Dying; Live Wire; Chasing 3000; No Looking Back; The Final Storm; Future BMT: Band of the Hand; BMT: Crank: High Voltage; The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Turbulence; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress in 1998 for A Smile Like Yours, and Turbulence; Notes: Has been a major television actress forever, Picket Fences, Chicago Hope, NCIS. Dozens of episodes of each. You probably recognizer as the love interest in Dumb and Dumber.)

Wayne Newton – ( Known For: Ocean’s Eleven; Licence to Kill; The Dark Backward; Night of the Running Man; 80 Steps to Jonah; Future BMT: Smokin’ Aces; Vegas Vacation; Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil; Best of the Best II; BMT: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane; Razzie Notes: Nominated for Worst Supporting Actor for The Adventures of Ford Fairlane in 1991; Notes: Known for his flawless signing voice and also looking insane in movies in the 90s. Somehow looks more normal now with his egg-smooth 80-year-old face.)

Budget/Gross – $20 million / Domestic: $21,413,502 (Worldwide: $21,413,502)

(Way more that I would have expected. I’m starting to suspect that the notability and the price are all part and parcel of getting fairly major musicians involved in the film.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 25% (8/32)

(Oh I get to make a consensus: No fun as it pokes fun at women and promotes violence in a low brow bummer. Rotten Tomatoes, call me, that is a killer consensus.)

NY Times Short Review: Low-life private eye solves rock ‘n’ roll murder. 

Poster – The Badvetures of Baddie McFadden

(This is certainly laying it on the line. You like Andrew Dice Clay, this film has loads of it. I appreciate the font, and the sky coloring looks like a paiting, but most everything else is against the rules. Too much white on the poster in particular and the whole setup is old school.C-)

Tagline(s) – Kojak. Columbo. Dirty Harry. Wimps. (A-)

(I’d love to know how they arrived on these particular detectives… should have thrown in Robocop… he’s a god damn robot, so it would really be saying something if you called him a wimp. I do like this tagline quite a bit, even without Robocop. Nicely done.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (daddio): 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 40.8 Iron Eagle (1986), 35.5 Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984), 34.6 Leviathan (1989), 33.0 Mom and Dad Save the World (1992), 29.6 Spaced Invaders (1990), 25.8 Feds (1988), 24.1 Sibling Rivalry (1990), 20.7 Kickboxer (1989), 20.6 Mad City (1997), 18.0 The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990), 17.7 Brewster’s Millions (1985), 17.6 Tai-Pan (1986), 16.6 Mr. Destiny (1990), 15.9 Opportunity Knocks (1990), 12.0 Only the Strong (1993), 2.0 The Five Heartbeats (1991)

(A lot of interesting options, but hitting up the rare Andrew Dice Clay starring vehicle from the brief moment he was bizarrely a star comic was just too good to pass up. Plus we got to flew a bit with the Brary Bros network.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 14) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Lauren Holly is No. 5 billed in The Adventures of Ford Fairlane and No. 2 billed in Turbulence, which also stars Ray Liotta (No. 1 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (5 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 14. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Maddie Corman’s character is named “Zuzu Petals”, a reference to It’s a Wonderful Life (1946). In that movie, George Bailey’s daughter Zuzu brings home a flower she got at school and shows it to her father and complains that some of the petals are falling off and he puts them in his pocket. Later, when he “was never born,” he reaches into his pocket and Clarence the Angel says, “They’re not there.” “What?” asks George. “Zuzu’s petals.”

As with most films featuring a stand-up comic in the lead role, bits of Andrew Dice Clay’s routine are in the film. They include asking the two guys in the club “What’re names? Neil and Bob? Or is that like what you do?”, the blabbering noise he makes after the first time he leaves Johnny Crunch’s radio station, and referring to his genitals as “Stanley The Power Drill”.

Howard Stern auditioned for the role of Johnny Crunch at Andrew Dice Clay’s insistence. Stern insisted the character was written with him in mind, and he didn’t want to play himself, but he tried out for it anyway. It didn’t work out, and Gilbert Gottfried was selected.

Billy Idol was cast as Smiley, but had to pull out of the role after a nearly-fatal motorcycle accident. Renny Harlin personally asked Robert Englund, who had previously worked with him on A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988), to take over the role after Idol’s accident. Idol’s song “Cradle of Love” is playing when the fraternity sister takes Ford Fairlane and Zuzu Petals to her house.

Fairlane comments about being banned by MTV, which banned Andrew Dice Clay for life in 1988. The ban was lifted several years later.

In an interview in Movieline magazine, screenwriter Daniel Waters said that working with Andrew Dice Clay was “traumatic”. Waters was happy that Clay later said that “Bobby Rivers” wrote the movie.

This is Priscilla Presley’s only film outside of the “Naked Gun” trilogy.

Producer Joel Silver almost pulled the plug on this movie a few weeks before filming because he thought Andrew Dice Clay looked too fat.

The opening Black Plague concert was actually filmed at Red Rocks Amphitheatre in Denver, Colorado.

Renny Harlin used his own Ferrari in the beginning of the film as the car in which the blonde twins are picked up.

The main character was created by writer Rex Weiner, in a series of stories that were published as weekly serials from 1979 to 1980 by the New York Rocker and L.A. Weekly. The stories have since been published as The Original Adventures of Ford Fairlane.

At least three of the band names listed above feature references to earlier movies produced by Joel Silver: “Ellen Aim and the Attackers” is the band fronted by Diane Lane in Streets of Fire (1984), “Nakatomi Boys Choir” is a reference to Die Hard (1988), as the main location of that story was Nakatomi Plaza, and “Alba Varden” is the name of the South Africans’ vessel in Lethal Weapon 2 (1989).

In the original theatrical release, Ford’s toll free number was originally “1-800-PERFECT”. 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE was dubbed over for the video release, probably because 1-800-PERFECT contains seven letters, which would translate to an actual phone number. The video release has an obvious difference between “1-800” and “UNBELIEVABLE”, where it was dubbed over. The original number can be heard on the soundtrack, track nine, “Unbelievable” (which is sound clips from the movie set to music by Yello).

After many letters of protest from classic-car enthusiasts, the film’s production company said that an actual 1957 Ford Fairlane was not blown up in the explosion; it was a fiberglass replica body on a newer Ford chassis.

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (Joel Silver, Steve Perry, 1991)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Andrew Dice Clay, 1991)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Daniel Waters, James Cappe, David Arnott, 1991)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Gilbert Gottfried, 1991)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Wayne Newton, 1991)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Renny Harlin, 1991)

Suicide Squad (2016) Preview

“We’re sorry, Mr. Dudikoff,” Patrick wails. He promises they’ll watch Citizen Kane. They won’t mention anything about possible sequels or squeakuels. They won’t drop scorching hot hot takes, or determine specific dates and times of the film. “Themes!” Patrick yells, “Themes and motifs! Just let us stay! Please!” Jamie leans against a nearby bust of Benjamin Franklin. He pops a Coors Light and the buttons on his tearaway sweatpants. His rocky mountains are blue, that’s how cool he is. Ever since he bumped into Gutes something has changed in Jamie. Rulez are Coolz, that’s for sure, but like… who’s rules? BMT rules are cool. GMT rules are cool. Gutes’ rules? Definitely cool. The rules at this school? Not cool. Drake looks back and forth at Patrick and Jamie. One begging to watch Citizen Kane every day for a year, the other now eight Coors Lights deep dressed only in a pair of jorts practicing what appeared to be capoeira. “Wonderful,” Drake says and both Patrick and Jamie stop. “You two are perfect. You remind me of myself. Well me and Charlie to be more accurate. So much the same and yet so different. Gripping onto rules with white knuckles and yet bucking against them at the same time.” He rings a bell and out from a side door walks a man… an identical man. “Hello, I’m Charlie Dudikoff, welcome to my school,” he says, “We need your help. We need the help of the only squad that can get down and dirty with the baddest of the bad and also have a really cool name. We hope that’s you. Are you ready?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other and nod. “Great,” Drake says, “Congratulations, you are now part of the Ultra-Hard Party.” Patrick and Jamie grimace a little. That’s right! We are doubling up on some DC delectables with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad. It’s tough sledding, but we’ve mustered all our strength. Let’s go!

Suicide Squad (2016) – BMeTric: 37.9; Notability: 110

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 17.6%; Notability: top 0.4%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 21.2%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Black, Zoolander 2, Cell, The Forest, Exposed, Yoga Hosers, Meet the Blacks, Cabin Fever, Norm of the North, Max Steel, The Darkness, Dark Crimes, God’s Not Dead 2, Blair Witch, The 5th Wave, Urge, Gods of Egypt, Get a Job, The Assignment, The Boss, and 24 more; Higher Notability: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Lower RT: Max Steel, Urge, Cabin Fever, Dark Crimes, Amateur Night, True Memoirs of an International Assassin, Wild Oats, The Darkness, Fifty Shades of Black, Norm of the North, Misconduct, Mother’s Day, Exposed, The Last Face, The Do-Over, Get a Job, I.T., God’s Not Dead 2, The Forest, Dirty Grandpa, and 32 more; Notes: My God, I forgot both these movies came out in the same year. The top two Notability films of 2016 knocked out in one go.

RogerEbert.com – 1.5 stars – At one point in the slog that is “Suicide Squad,” Will Smith’s character laments that he and his team of reluctant do-gooders must battle “the swirling ring of trash in the sky.” That’s a pretty apt description of the movie as a whole, too: It’s massive, messy and noisy. And it stinks.

(Yeeeeeeeeeeeah. That sounds right. Kind of absurd I’ve never seen these movies until now. But you know why I haven’t? Because they seem like huuuuuuuge wastes of time.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0Xb9BhfVjY/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0Xb9BhfVjY/

(Wow that was a long trailer. Decent though. Not that surprising since Suicide Squad managed to have one of the best trailers ever for a bad movie. The Queen one. I can’t find it online which is too bad, it was real good.)

Directors – David Ayer – ( Known For: Fury; End of Watch; Bright; The Tax Collector; Harsh Times; Future BMT: Street Kings; BMT: Suicide Squad; Sabotage; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Suicide Squad in 2017; Notes: Was something of a street kid in L.A. growing up and then joined the Navy as a submariner.)

Writers – David Ayer – ( Known For: Fury; Training Day; S.W.A.T.; End of Watch; The Tax Collector; U-571; Harsh Times; Dark Blue; BMT: Suicide Squad; The Fast and the Furious; Sabotage; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Screenplay for Suicide Squad in 2017; Notes: I find it interesting that for all of the accolades of Training Day got, the screenplay really didn’t get much in terms of recognition.)

John Ostrander – (Notes: He’s uncredited as the writer of some of the comics seemingly. And while IMDb has him as a writer, TMDb insists that he merely got a “thanks” on the film. Which is why his section here is empty. A little behind the curtain details on some of the algorithmic quirks of the template.)

Actors – Will Smith – ( Known For: Independence Day; Emancipation; Men in Black; Aladdin; I, Robot; The Pursuit of Happyness; Men in Black 3; Jersey Girl; Enemy of the State; I Am Legend; Bad Boys; Bad Boys for Life; King Richard; Focus; Hancock; Bright; Hitch; Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues; Ali; Spies in Disguise; Future BMT: Shark Tale; Bad Boys II; Seven Pounds; Gemini Man; Collateral Beauty; Made in America; BMT: Suicide Squad; Men in Black II; After Earth; Wild Wild West; Winter’s Tale; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screen Combo for After Earth in 2014; Winner for Worst Screen Couple, and Worst Original Song for Wild Wild West in 2000; and Nominee for Worst Screenplay for After Earth in 2014; Notes: Remember when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock and then won a Best Actor Oscar for King Richard? He was nominated two other times as well.)

Jared Leto – ( Known For: Fight Club; Blade Runner 2049; American Psycho; Requiem for a Dream; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; House of Gucci; The Little Things; Girl, Interrupted; Dallas Buyers Club; Mr. Nobody; The Thin Red Line; Lord of War; Panic Room; Phone Booth; The Outsider; How to Make an American Quilt; Lonely Hearts; Prefontaine; Chapter 27; Highway; Future BMT: Alexander; Switchback; Black & White; BMT: Suicide Squad; Morbius; Urban Legend; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor for Morbius in 2023; Winner for Worst Supporting Actor for House of Gucci in 2022; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for Suicide Squad in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple for House of Gucci in 2022; Notes: Notable for being a method acting weirdo. He was/is in a band with his brother called Thirty Seconds to Mars. Won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Dallas Buyers Club.)

Margot Robbie – ( Known For: Babylon; Once Upon a Time in Hollywood; The Wolf of Wall Street; The Suicide Squad; The Big Short; Bombshell; About Time; I, Tonya; Birds of Prey; Focus; Mary Queen of Scots; Peter Rabbit; Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway; Terminal; Dreamland; Whiskey Tango Foxtrot; Goodbye Christopher Robin; Suite Française; Slaughterhouse Rulez; Z for Zachariah; Future BMT: The Legend of Tarzan; BMT: Amsterdam; Suicide Squad; Notes: Nominated for an Oscar twice for I, Tonya and Bombshell. Very excited for the upcoming Barbie film where she stars as (one of many, seemingly) Barbie.)

Budget/Gross – $175,000,000 / Domestic: $325,100,054 (Worldwide: $746,846,894)

(That is a huge film. That is plenty of money to say this was a reasonable success even prior to considering things like streaming rights and stuff.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 26% (102/391): Suicide Squad boasts a talented cast and a little more humor than previous DCEU efforts, but they aren’t enough to save the disappointing end result from a muddled plot, thinly written characters, and choppy directing.

(Jesus, nearly 400 reviews on that guy. A little more humor sounds a little backhanded if I’m being honest. Like … just a little. Compared to the completely humorless Batman v Superman that probably points to it not being enough.)

Reviewer Highlight: For all its cast and crew’s inglorious chest-thumping, Suicide Squad is a failed, forced exercise in - of all things! you had one job! - ensemble chemistry. – K. Austin Collins, The Ringer

Poster – Ultra-Hard Party

(Definitely a trend in posters. Everything Everywhere All At Once had one that was similar. I don’t like it cause it’s breaking my rulez… my rulez that I made up and so are hard and fast. Although great font. Very solid font. And clever. B-.)

Tagline(s) – Worst. Heroes. Ever. (C+)

(I could make a snarky comment here, but I won’t because it’s not. It’s not great, but it’s eyecatching I guess and gets the point across. It actually makes a lot more sense as a Harley Quinn movie tagline and not Suicide Squad.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (Killer-Elite): 43.0 Young Einstein (1988), 35.1 The Fan (1996)

(Yeah so this wasn’t in the main dataset. And the options were either no fun (Young Einstein) or involved the actor we just used to get to Killer Elite (The Fan). So, Jamie went above and beyond and found some 2010s era newspaper info to deduce that Suicide Squad played on the same day at Citizen Kane at least once.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 11) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Jared Leto is No. 2 billed in Suicide Squad and No. 2 billed in Urban Legend, which also stars Alicia Witt (No. 1 billed) who is in 88 Minutes (No. 2 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (1 + 2) + (3 + 1) = 11. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – Margot Robbie began training six months prior to shooting the film. Her training routine included gymnastics, boxing, weapons training, aerial silk training, and learning to hold her breath underwater for extended periods of time.

Margot Robbie revealed at San Diego Comic-Con International 2016 that although the cast members of the squad had extensive rehearsals together, she and Jared Leto did not rehearse prior to filming their scenes. She and director David Ayer felt it added to the unpredictability and madness of Harley Quinn and the Joker.

To prepare for his role as Deadshot, Will Smith shaved his head, and spent time training with Navy SEALs and Army Rangers, practicing firing a Glock 9mm handgun and an AR-15 rifle.

Tom Hardy was originally cast as Rick Flag, but dropped out to do The Revenant (2015). Hardy had previously played Bane in The Dark Knight Rises (2012), who was a former member of the Suicide Squad in the comic books. Hardy later expressed his regret at leaving the role, given that he did not want to lose the work.

Margot Robbie did the majority of her own stunts.

Margot Robbie kept the live rat that Jared Leto sent her and she even gave it a name; “Rat-Rat”, she added “If Harley got something from Joker, she’d probably cherish it”, she told E! Magazine.

It took the make-up team five hours for the prosthetic make-up to be applied to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, with the make-up applied to his head and shoulders, while the rest was body paint.

Ryan Gosling was sought out first for the role of the Joker. He reportedly turned down the role because he did not want to sign on for a multi-picture deal that the studio was requiring.

Jared Leto got so immersed in playing the Joker that he wouldn’t break out of character on set even when he wasn’t filming. He even sent his fellow cast members “Joker-like” presents: a live rat to Margot Robbie, and bullets to Will Smith, a soiled Playboy magazine to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, and a dead hog, anal beads, and used condoms for the whole crew. Scott Eastwood commented that Leto frightened him at times with his behavior, and Smith mentioned that he actually never met the real Leto.

Early cuts of the film included more interaction with Captain Boomerang and Harley Quinn, with Harley severely disliking him despite growing affectionate to all the other members of the squad.

The Joker’s car, the Jokermobile, is a customized based on a Infiniti G35 Vaydor [V35].

Jared Leto chose not to re-watch the performance given by Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight (2008) because he felt he needed to form his own version of the character. He did not want to copy or lift material from any previous film version. Instead, he focused more on the comic book versions of the iconic villain.

After renowned writer and director Kevin Smith received Harley Quinn’s bat he gave it to his daughter, Harley Quinn Smith.

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje did extensive research for Killer Croc, reading decades worth of material from the comics with the character. He also observed actual crocodiles and researched cannibalism.

When Harley smashes a storefront window to steal a purse, the shirts on display in the window read “SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM” which in Latin reads “If you want peace, prepare for war.”

The Ace Chemicals scene where Joker finishes Harley’s transformation was initially longer in the original cut, with Harley jumping into the chemicals and with more bits of dialogue from Joker.

The baseball bat used by Harley Quinn was given to Kevin Smith as a “thank you” for hosting Dawn of the Justice League (2016).

Awards – Winner for the Oscar for Best Achievement in Makeup and Hairstyling (Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini, Christopher Allen Nelson, 2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Jared Leto, 2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (David Ayer, 2017)

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Preview

“We’re sorry, Mr. Dudikoff,” Patrick wails. He promises they’ll watch Citizen Kane. They won’t mention anything about possible sequels or squeakuels. They won’t drop scorching hot hot takes, or determine specific dates and times of the film. “Themes!” Patrick yells, “Themes and motifs! Just let us stay! Please!” Jamie leans against a nearby bust of Benjamin Franklin. He pops a Coors Light and the buttons on his tearaway sweatpants. His rocky mountains are blue, that’s how cool he is. Ever since he bumped into Gutes something has changed in Jamie. Rulez are Coolz, that’s for sure, but like… who’s rules? BMT rules are cool. GMT rules are cool. Gutes’ rules? Definitely cool. The rules at this school? Not cool. Drake looks back and forth at Patrick and Jamie. One begging to watch Citizen Kane every day for a year, the other now eight Coors Lights deep dressed only in a pair of jorts practicing what appeared to be capoeira. “Wonderful,” Drake says and both Patrick and Jamie stop. “You two are perfect. You remind me of myself. Well me and Charlie to be more accurate. So much the same and yet so different. Gripping onto rules with white knuckles and yet bucking against them at the same time.” He rings a bell and out from a side door walks a man… an identical man. “Hello, I’m Charlie Dudikoff, welcome to my school,” he says, “We need your help. We need the help of the only squad that can get down and dirty with the baddest of the bad and also have a really cool name. We hope that’s you. Are you ready?” Patrick and Jamie look at each other and nod. “Great,” Drake says, “Congratulations, you are now part of the Ultra-Hard Party.” Patrick and Jamie grimace a little. That’s right! We are doubling up on some DC delectables with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad. It’s tough sledding, but we’ve mustered all our strength. Let’s go!

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) – BMeTric: 22.2; Notability: 148

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 28.8%; Notability: top 0.0%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 23.7%; Higher BMeT: Fifty Shades of Black, Zoolander 2, Cell, The Forest, Exposed, Yoga Hosers, Meet the Blacks, Cabin Fever, Norm of the North, Max Steel, The Darkness, Dark Crimes, God’s Not Dead 2, Blair Witch, Independence Day: Resurgence, The 5th Wave, Urge, Gods of Egypt, Get a Job, The Assignment, and 52 more; Lower RT: Max Steel, Urge, Cabin Fever, Dark Crimes, Amateur Night, True Memoirs of an International Assassin, Wild Oats, The Darkness, Fifty Shades of Black, Norm of the North, Misconduct, Mother’s Day, Exposed, The Last Face, The Do-Over, Get a Job, I.T., God’s Not Dead 2, The Forest, Dirty Grandpa, and 38 more; Notes: The highest Notability of the year! The BMeTric is surprising low, but I’ve said it elsewhere: Snyder has a weird fanbase who likes his very specific sub-genre of action films.

RogerEbert.com – 2.5 stars – “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” is state of the art epic superhero filmmaking. That’s a compliment if you prefer these movies to be ponderous, disorganized and glum, but a warning if you prefer tonal variation from film to film and scene to scene, and have a soft spot for storytelling that actually tells, you know, a story, as opposed to doing an occasionally inspired but mostly just competent job of setting up the next chapter in a Marvel-styled franchise.

There are a few brilliantly realized moments, the acting is mostly strong despite the weak script (Affleck and Cavill are both superb—Affleck unexpectedly so), and there’s enough mythic raw material sunk deep in every scene that you can piece together a classic in your mind if you’re feeling charitable; but if you aren’t, “Batman v Superman” will seem like a missed opportunity. At times it might make you long for Christopher Nolan’s delicate touch. Those last four words have never appeared side-by-side before. Life’s funny that way.

(I’m leaving the whole thing. “Ponderous, disorganized and glum” is my band name. Affleck being surprisingly good, and the slam on Christopher Nolan at the end are both great stuff.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9EkdAHqtvU/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9EkdAHqtvU/

(I mean … if you like evil Superman and like … apocalypse Batman this looks cool. If you don’t this looks ultra lame. And spoiler alert. I do not like this. Not one bit.)

Directors – Zack Snyder – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; 300; Watchmen; Man of Steel; Army of the Dead; Dawn of the Dead; Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole; Future BMT: Justice League; BMT: Sucker Punch; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Director for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: He (allegedly) got an army of bots (intentionally or unwittingly, I honestly just don’t care which it was) to convince HBO to give him a bunch of money to produce the 4 hour long version of Justice League which still wasn’t very good. Army of the Dead was a modest streaming success by all accounts, so his career is by no means over because of his disastrous DCEU run.)

Writers – Chris Terrio – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker; Argo; Future BMT: Justice League; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: )

David S. Goyer – ( Known For: The Dark Knight; The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Dark City; Man of Steel; Hellraiser; Terminator: Dark Fate; Blade; Blade II; Kickboxer 2: The Road Back; Zig Zag; Future BMT: Blade: Trinity; The Unborn; The Crow: City of Angels; Death Warrant; The Puppet Masters; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Jumper; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screenplay for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: His career is kind of nuts. He legit started out making cheapo films like Arcade. And now he’s just considered to be an ominous sign that your comic book movie might be garbage. He writes like … everything, so it isn’t totally accurate though.)

Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster, and William Moulton Marston  – ( Known For: The Batman; The Dark Knight; Joker; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Dark Knight Rises; Batman Begins; Batman; Batman Returns; The Lego Batman Movie; The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part; Batman; Batman: Mask of the Phantasm; Batman Ninja; Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Batman; Scooby-Doo & Batman: The Brave and the Bold; Batman and Robin; Future BMT: Justice League; Batman: The Killing Joke; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Batman Forever; Batman & Robin; Catwoman; Notes: I’m putting all these guys together and the credits are a bit jumbled. They are the comic book writers for the various characters that appear in Justice League. If I didn’t know that this is all decided by a screenwriting tribunal I would say that crediting all of these people was a stunt to be like “look at all the shit we have in this film!!” In reality, presumably, the cast is such an equal ensemble of characters that indeed, five different comic book writers had to be credited, even though this is a Goyer film through and through.)

Actors – Ben Affleck – ( Known For: Air; Good Will Hunting; Dazed and Confused; Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Gone Girl; Triple Frontier; The Last Duel; The Town; Shakespeare in Love; Clerks III; Argo; Deep Water; School Ties; Jersey Girl; Dogma; The Accountant; He’s Just Not That Into You; Daredevil; Field of Dreams; The Tender Bar; Future BMT: Justice League; Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Live by Night; Smokin’ Aces; Surviving Christmas; 200 Cigarettes; BMT: Suicide Squad; Armageddon; Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Pearl Harbor; Gigli; Paycheck; Phantoms; Reindeer Games; Runner Runner; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Actor in 2004 for Daredevil, Gigli, and Paycheck; Winner for Worst Screen Combo for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Winner for Worst Screen Couple for Gigli in 2004; Nominee for Worst Actor in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; in 2005 for Jersey Girl, and Surviving Christmas; and in 2017 for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Nominee for Worst Supporting Actor for The Last Duel in 2022; Nominee for Worst Actor of the Decade in 2010 for Daredevil, Gigli, Jersey Girl, Paycheck, Pearl Harbor, and Surviving Christmas; and Nominee for Worst Screen Couple in 1999 for Armageddon; in 2002 for Pearl Harbor; and in 2005 for Jersey Girl; Notes: Batffleck! He’s back baby! Air just came out, and I’m holding out hope he’ll get a directing nomination because, why not? They kept on giving Clint Eastwood nominations for making perfectly fine looking good movies, right?)

Henry Cavill – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; The Count of Monte Cristo; Mission: Impossible – Fallout; Stardust; Man of Steel; Enola Holmes; The Man from U.N.C.L.E.; Enola Holmes 2; Immortals; Night Hunter; Sand Castle; Whatever Works; Blood Creek; I Capture the Castle; Red Riding Hood; Future BMT: Black Adam; Justice League; Tristan + Isolde; The Cold Light of Day; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Winner for Worst Screen Combo for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; and Nominee for Worst Actor for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2017; Notes: There was a brief moment where Cavill announced he was coming back as Superman and people got jazzed, but then two days later DC was like “Wait, what’s this now?” and now he isn’t. It was weird.)

Amy Adams – ( Known For: Zack Snyder’s Justice League; Catch Me If You Can; Arrival; Her; American Hustle; Man of Steel; Nocturnal Animals; Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; Hillbilly Elegy; Disenchanted; The Fighter; Enchanted; The Master; Vice; The Woman in the Window; Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian; Julie & Julia; Doubt; Drop Dead Gorgeous; Big Eyes; Future BMT: Justice League; Leap Year; Dear Evan Hansen; The Wedding Date; Underdog; Serving Sara; The Ex; BMT: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actress for The Woman in the Window in 2022; and Nominee for Worst Supporting Actress for Dear Evan Hansen in 2022; Notes: Nominated for an insane 6 Oscars and never won. We’ll see. Her choices recently have been questionable, but she’s getting to an age where I think she will find that perfect Meryl Streep role from the 00s to finally snag a trophy. I just feel it.)

Budget/Gross – $250,000,000 / Domestic: $330,360,194 (Worldwide: $873,637,528)

(That isn’t quite as good. With a $250 million budget you are kind of looking for $1 billion as crazy as it sounds. For this I’m certain that is what they were aiming for. The MCU was smashing that easily on their big tent poles, and this was the moment where you knew the DCEU was kind of toast.)

Rotten Tomatoes – 29% (126/437): Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice smothers a potentially powerful story — and some of America’s most iconic superheroes — in a grim whirlwind of effects-driven action.

(GRIM. That is what these films are. They are grim and all the characters are unfortunately sad and depressing. People talk about the MCU like “why can’t the DCEU be bright” but the visual palette isn’t even close to being the problem. The issue is that in the MCU at least the people seem like pleasant people you’d want to hang out with sometimes. All these people are so dour all the time.)

Reviewer Highlight: When was it decided superhero movies shouldn’t be any fun? – Leonard Maltin

Poster – Sklog v Sklog: Dawn of Crushin’ It

(No bueno. D)

Tagline(s) – Who will win? (F)

(Guys… we all know they aren’t actually fighting. They are “fighting.” That is fighting until it’s time not to fight and then they fight… other people.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (Killer-Elite): 43.0 Young Einstein (1988), 35.1 The Fan (1996)

(This tags along as a bonus film with Suicide Squad, although I’m sure sometime in the late 2010s it played on the same date as Citizen Kane. Seems impossible that it didn’t/)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 8) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ben Affleck is No. 1 billed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and No. 1 billed in Pearl Harbor, which also stars Josh Hartnett (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 3 billed) => (1 + 1) + (3 + 3) = 8. There is no shorter path at the moment.

Notes – In an interview on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (2009), Ben Affleck said he was warned by Warner Bros. about the possible negative reaction to his casting, and was advised to remain off the Internet after the casting announcement. He also said, to assuage his concerns, the studio showed him negative comments that fans had initially made to previous superhero castings. Affleck said in spite of the studio warnings, he still checked out an online message board. The first comment he read was, “Affleck as Batman? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” After seeing that, he immediately went offline.

In this film, Batman wears a voice modulator in his suit to electronically alter his voice. After the casting of Ben Affleck in the role, this was an idea that had been suggested by his friend, director Kevin Smith, as he felt Affleck’s natural speaking voice was too high-pitched for Batman. He also felt it wouldn’t sound like Christian Bale’s voice in the Christopher Nolan Dark Knight trilogy.

Ben Affleck gained an additional twenty pounds of muscle and reached eight percent body fat for his role as Bruce Wayne a.k.a. Batman.

According to Ben Affleck, he was surprised when he was offered the Batman role, and was at first hesitant to commit to it. He was won over after a meeting with Zack Snyder, who pitched Affleck his vision of Batman, and showed him concept art for the film.

The Waynes are seen walking out of a movie theater, a poster of The Mark of Zorro (1940) is seen on the theater wall. Though not exclusive to all origin stories, most canon Batman origin stories since 1986 have the Waynes leaving a screening of the film. This trend was originally set in reference to the fact that Batman was largely based on the character of Zorro.

A “Batman and Superman” film was originally pitched in August 2001 by Andrew Kevin Walker, with Wolfgang Petersen to direct, and Akiva Goldsman to script. Goldsman’s script had Bruce Wayne’s fiancée slain by the Joker, which sends him on a revenge rampage and brings him into conflict with Superman, who tries to stop him. The film was shelved, but in Goldsman’s I Am Legend (2007), a teaser poster for the film (the Superman shield inside a bat) was seen in the opening scene. It was rumored at the time, that George Clooney would be reprising his Batman role from Batman & Robin (1997), and John Travolta would be playing Superman.

Ben Affleck stated in an interview that he had asked if he could have the batsuit when filming was complete. The producers said yes, but that he would have to pay $100,000 in order to keep it. Affleck quickly changed his mind, and asked if he could just take a picture with it instead.

The armor that Ben Affleck wears is based on Batman’s armor in the comic book “The Dark Knight Returns,” written by Frank Miller, and published in 1986. His regular costume is entirely different than the graphic novel. In the novel the suit was made of traditional blue and gray fabric, and with a bullet-proof plate behind the traditional yellow oval bat logo.

When discussing the film, Henry Cavill said that it would address a major issue that fans and critics had with Man of Steel (2013), involving the huge amount of collateral damage caused in the film’s climax during Superman’s battle with General Zod in Metropolis. Cavill said that future battle scenes in movies featuring Superman would involve him making sure to not harm civilians himself and to protect them from evil villains.

Superman only had 42 lines of dialogue throughout the entire movie.

In response to the negative and mixed reviews, Ben Affleck (Batman) said “We made this movie for the fans, not the critics.” His co-star Henry Cavill (Superman) said similar things in other interviews.

A rough cut of the film was shown for Warner Bros. executives. They were reportedly so impressed that they not only gave the film a standing ovation, but also began negotiating a deal with Ben Affleck to have him make three solo Batman movies, rather than the original plan to make only one.

When Wallace Vernon Keefe, has been gathering newspaper clips about Superman, a picture is seen where Superman is lifting a car, about to smash it against a rock. The picture is a photo version of the cover of Action Comics #1 from 1938, Superman’s debut.

There is a Riddler style question mark graffitied in one of the pillars of Wayne manor.

Michael Shannon never actually shot any scenes for this film and the production used a rubber dummy for Zod’s corpse, he stated, “In the movie there’s a large rubber version of my naked body that Lex Luthor is playing with. I was not, the only thing I did for that is I did some ADR of some lines that Zack [Snyder] thought he might use in the movie of my disembodied spirit talking to Lex Luthor.”

The day after he was cast as Batman, Ben Affleck began working out two hours a day and “hated every minute of it”, by his own admission.

Jimmy Fallon once asked Ben Affleck what his daughters thought of him being Batman and he said, “They don’t care. All they want to watch is Frozen (2013).”

Awards – Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor (Jesse Eisenberg, 2017)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screen Combo (Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, 2017)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Screenplay (Chris Terrio, David S. Goyer, 2017)

Winner for the Razzie Award for Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel (2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Picture (2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Ben Affleck, 2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Henry Cavill, 2017)

Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Director (Zack Snyder, 2017)

Man Trouble Preview

“Not just one ghost… Two,” Michael reminds them for the fifth time. Jamie and Patrick nod in understanding. They get it. Not just one ghost. After telling them the story of Charlie and Drake Dudikoff (long story short: apparently they both became ghosts), he promised that he knows everything about this place and led them to a nearby secret passage. Since then they’ve been wandering the tunnels underneath the rehab center for hours, if not days, and Jamie and Patrick are starting to get concerned that Michael may have oversold his knowledge of the Testarossa. “Time is different here in the catacombs,” Michael says again. It’s as if he has only a handful of phrases he is able to say. “Right, right, time is different. Not just one ghost but two. Michael?” Jamie interjects, “how much longer do you think we’ll be wandering these catacombs? The ones where time is different.” Michael nods, “Just a little further. Time is different here in the catacombs. I’ve been here forever, so I know everything about this place.” Jamie and Patrick both sigh. But just then a doorway appears out of the gloom. Jamie and Patrick rush up to it and take a deep breath. “Finally we can help Gutes!” Jamie says just as Patrick says “Finally we can get back to Citizen Kane!” They look at each other in confusion as the door creaks open revealing a library adorned with rich mahogany. “Why hello,” a man says from a very comfortable chair. “Looks like you finally made it. Time works a little differently in the catacombs, but Michael always makes his way eventually.” The man nods to Michael. “You can leave now, Michael, I’ll take care of these two troublemakers. Let me introduce myself. I’m Drake Dudikoff. Welcome to my school.” That’s right! We might be causing a bit of trouble at the Dudikoff center but it’s nothing compared to all the trouble Jack Nicholson is causing in Man Trouble. It’s a movie… about a man… and boy… is he trouble. Probably that’s what it’s about. Let’s go!

Man Trouble (1992) – BMeTric: 36.5; Notability: 44

StreetCreditReport.com – BMeTric: top 8.0%; Notability: top 6.8%; Rotten Tomatoes: top 3.0%; Higher BMeT: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Body of Evidence, Cool World, Pet Sematary II, Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, Toys, Sleepwalkers, 3 Ninjas, Sidekicks, Freejack, Beethoven, Aces: Iron Eagle III, Evil Toons, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Ladybugs, Dr. Giggles, Christopher Columbus: The Discovery, Encino Man, Man Trouble; Higher Notability: Toys, Cool World, Newsies, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, The Bodyguard, Freejack, Tom and Jerry: The Movie, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Innocent Blood, Universal Soldier, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Mighty Ducks, Radio Flyer, This Is My Life, Encino Man, The Distinguished Gentleman; Lower RT: Frozen Assets, Once Upon a Crime…, Love Crimes, Folks!, Live Wire, Year of the Comet, Cool World; Notes: I’ve barely heard of some of those lower RT films from 1992. Quite amazing that it only has 3K votes as well. But the Notability is so high! What a weird film.

Leonard Maltin – 1.5 stars –  Opera singer Barkin is troubled by a frightening break-in and other harassment so she hires guard-dog specialist Nicholson to beef up security. This mongrel of a screwball comedy consistently misses the target. Particularly disappointing in the light of reteaming Nicholson with Five Easy Pieces director Rafelson and writer Carole Eastman. Way below par for all concerned.

(Yeah, looking at the notes, that is the main thing. That he re-teamed with them as a favor and then it ended up as a huge disaster.)

Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1ho3wmu8Hk/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1ho3wmu8Hk/

(Wow, that is just maybe the worst trailer I’ve ever seen. You can tell they didn’t even know what the film is about. They are trying to figure it out in the voice over and never quite get there.)

Directors – Bob Rafelson – ( Known For: Five Easy Pieces; The Postman Always Rings Twice; Stay Hungry; Blood and Wine; Black Widow; Head; The King of Marvin Gardens; Mountains of the Moon; No Good Deed; BMT: Man Trouble; Notes: Nominated for 2 Oscars, both for Five Easy Pieces. Which is basically the entire story behind this film. Also helped create The Monkees.)

Writers – Carole Eastman – ( Known For: Five Easy Pieces; The Shooting; The Fortune; Model Shop; Puzzle of a Downfall Child; BMT: Man Trouble; Notes: Met Nicholson in an acting class, and ultimately he starred in the majority of her written works.)

Actors – Jack Nicholson – ( Known For: The Departed; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest; The Shining; Batman; A Few Good Men; As Good as It Gets; Chinatown; Mars Attacks!; The Witches of Eastwick; The Pledge; Easy Rider; Anger Management; Something’s Gotta Give; Terms of Endearment; The Bucket List; Five Easy Pieces; Carnal Knowledge; Tommy; The Postman Always Rings Twice; Goin’ South; Future BMT: How Do You Know; The Evening Star; BMT: Man Trouble; Razzie Notes: Nominee for Worst Actor in 1993 for Hoffa, and Man Trouble; Notes: Y’all know Jack. Famous Lakers fan, he refused to allow anyone on the set of The Departed to wear a Red Sox hat. Apparently not retired from acting, although he hasn’t appeared in anything since 2010.)

Ellen Barkin – ( Known For: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; The Man from Toronto; Ocean’s Thirteen; Diner; Tender Mercies; This Boy’s Life; Drop Dead Gorgeous; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension; The Cobbler; Sea of Love; Eddie and the Cruisers; Johnny Handsome; Brooklyn’s Finest; Breaking News in Yuba County; Down by Law; Hands of Stone; Someone Like You; Very Good Girls; The Big Easy; Twelve; Future BMT: The Fan; Switch; Harry & Son; BMT: Wild Bill; Mad Dog Time; Man Trouble; Notes: Won an Emmy for Before Women Had Wings. Starred in the tv show Animal Kingdom.)

Harry Dean Stanton – ( Known For: The Godfather Part II; Alien; The Green Mile; How the West Was Won; The Avengers; Red Dawn; Rango; Pretty in Pink; Seven Psychopaths; Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; Inland Empire; Escape from New York; Cool Hand Luke; Wild at Heart; Paris, Texas; The Pledge; Anger Management; The Last Temptation of Christ; Alpha Dog; Christine; Future BMT: Down Periscope; Dream a Little Dream; The Animal; You, Me and Dupree; Young Doctors in Love; BMT: Fire Down Below; Never Talk to Strangers; Man Trouble; Notes: Died at 91 a few years ago. All over the place as a character actor, and was the main antagonist of the show Big Love.)

Budget/Gross – $30 million / Domestic: $4,096,030 (Worldwide: $4,096,030)

(My god, that film had a family! That is a colossal bomb. Possibly the largest bomb of that year. And then people just forgot about it. Only 3000 votes on IMDb. It is crazy!)

Rotten Tomatoes – 7% (2/30): Man Trouble has brilliant stars and the germ of an interesting idea in its favor, which makes the scattered, unfunny results even more of a disappointment.

(Unfunny garbage? That’s my middle name. What a low RT score. I do wonder how many sub-10% RT films there are and how many we’ve seen … one sec. There are 372 qualifying films that fit the bill, and we’ve seen 175 … soon to be 176, but still, a ways to go is an understatement.)

NY Times Short Review: Love. A dog trainer and an opera singer. Sad mess of a romantic comedy.

Poster – Man, Trouble

(This honestly looks so much like the cover a self-help book that if I didn’t already know the plot of the film I would have thought it was a movie about a self-help guru who breaks all her own rules and falls in love with everything she advises her readers not to go after. The anti-catch…. That’s actually not half bad. I better start working on that script. I think I’ll call it… Man Trouble. Oh, the poster is a surprising C. If only for the pink font and the little pink doggie.)

Tagline(s) – She put her life in his hands. Unfortunately, his hands have a life of their own. (C+)

(My word. That is crazy like a fox. Obviously it takes far too long getting where it wants to go, but the use of the old fashioned “life of their own” phrasing to spin a pun is so ludicrous that I can’t help but respect it. Although I have to say I don’t love the word “unfortunately” here. GIves me the creeps.)

Keyword(s) – Citizen Kane

Top 10: The Silence of the Lambs (1991), Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980), Goodfellas (1990), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983), The Terminator (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Full Metal Jacket (1987), Aliens (1986), Groundhog Day (1993)

Future BMT: 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 71.9 Teen Wolf Too (1987), 61.0 Pet Sematary II (1992), 59.6 Suburban Commando (1991), 58.5 Rocky V (1990), 56.4 The Karate Kid Part III (1989), 55.6 Ringmaster (1998), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 53.2 Made in America (1993), 52.4 Blank Check (1994), 51.5 The Pest (1997), 50.5 Getting Even with Dad (1994), 50.0 Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), 49.9 3 Ninjas (1992), 49.1 My Girl 2 (1994), 48.3 My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988), 47.9 Three Men and a Little Lady (1990), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 46.4 Zapped! (1982), 45.8 Sidekicks (1992)

BMT: Batman & Robin (1997), Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Troll 2 (1990), Super Mario Bros. (1993), RoboCop 3 (1993), Grease 2 (1982), Caddyshack II (1988), Bio-Dome (1996), Mac and Me (1988), Anaconda (1997), Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996), Double Team (1997), Fair Game (1995), Leprechaun (1993), Body of Evidence (1992), A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989), Cool World (1992), Poltergeist III (1988), Wild Orchid (1989), Sliver (1993), Chairman of the Board (1997), Red Sonja (1985), Nothing But Trouble (1991), Ishtar (1987), Toys (1992), Weekend at Bernie’s II (1993), Shanghai Surprise (1986), Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988), Exit to Eden (1994), Fire Down Below (1997), Color of Night (1994), Graveyard Shift (1990), No Holds Barred (1989), The Lawnmower Man (1992), Arthur 2: On the Rocks (1988), Maximum Overdrive (1986), Fire Birds (1990), Cocoon: The Return (1988), Jingle All the Way (1996), Raw Deal (1986), Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986), Crocodile Dundee II (1988), Hudson Hawk (1991), Navy Seals (1990), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Hot to Trot (1988), Rambo III (1988), Terminal Velocity (1994), Meatballs Part II (1984), Cobra (1986), Ernest Goes to Jail (1990), Man Trouble (1992), Hard to Kill (1990), Conan the Destroyer (1984), The Golden Child (1986), Another 48 Hrs. (1990), Hard Rain (1998), Under the Cherry Moon (1986), Mannequin (1987), K-9 (1989), Days of Thunder (1990), Blame It on Rio (1984), No Mercy (1986), Senseless (1998), The Wizard (1989), The Marrying Man (1991), Sleeping with the Enemy (1991), The Cannonball Run (1981), Stone Cold (1991), Tango & Cash (1989), Lock Up (1989), The Good Son (1993), 1492: Conquest of Paradise (1992), Dangerous Minds (1995), Young Guns II (1990), Event Horizon (1997), Dutch (1991), Police Academy (1984), Road House (1989)

Best Options (Romance): 75.0 Look Who’s Talking Now (1993), 54.2 Who’s That Girl (1987), 46.7 House Party 3 (1994), 39.0 The Beautician and the Beast (1997), 36.7 Man Trouble (1992), 32.2 Born Yesterday (1993), 32.0 Blind Date (1987), 31.3 The Forbidden Dance (1990), 30.9 He Said, She Said (1991), 29.6 Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992), 28.9 Dream a Little Dream (1989), 27.9 The Favor (1994), 26.7 HouseSitter (1992), 26.7 Vibes (1988), 26.6 The Saint (1997), 26.2 Flashdance (1983), 26.1 The Bride (1985), 24.7 18 Again! (1988), 24.4 Poetic Justice (1993), 21.8 Funny About Love (1990), 21.3 Date with an Angel (1987), 21.0 For Keeps? (1988), 16.8 Listen to Me (1989), 16.6 Mr. Destiny (1990), 15.5 Aspen Extreme (1993), 15.2 Worth Winning (1989), 15.1 Unfaithfully Yours (1984), 14.6 Creator (1985), 13.2 Stella (1990), 10.7 Reckless (1984)

(What a wild set of options and a wild movie to choose. I should note about the graph, that peak in 1992? That’s real. It is because “Citizen Kane Days”, days when Citizen Kane played on television, had a huuuuuge peak in 1992 since that was the 50th anniversary. And since recent films are going to be playing the most in 1992 the peak will be around 1990-1992. Fun facts.)

Welcome to Earf (HoE Number 19) – The shortest path through The Movie Database cast lists using only BMT films is: Ellen Barkin is No. 2 billed in Man Trouble and No. 2 billed in Wild Bill, which also stars Diane Lane (No. 4 billed) who is in Judge Dredd (No. 2 billed) which also stars Sylvester Stallone (No. 1 billed) who is in The Expendables 3 (No. 1 billed) which also stars Jason Statham (No. 2 billed) who is in In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (No. 1 billed) which also stars Leelee Sobieski (No. 3 billed) who is in Here on Earth (No. 1 billed) => (2 + 2) + (4 + 2) + (1 + 1) + (2 + 1) + (3 + 1) = 19. If we were to watch The Fan, Murder at 1600, and The Glass House we can get the HoE Number down to 14.

Notes – Jack Nicholson mainly agreed to make this film in an attempt to revive the careers of his old friends Bob Rafelson and Carole Eastman. Nicholson had worked successfully with the two on Five Easy Pieces (1970).

A promotional photo session featuring Ellen Barkin sporting a studded dog collar and attached to Jack Nicholson’s leash had American feminist organizations in an uproar.

Meryl Streep was initially intended for the role of Joan Spruance, but she withdrew when she became pregnant.

The first version of the script was written in the 1970s, and was to feature Jack Nicholson and Jeanne Moreau. At first, Caole Eastman hoped to direct her script herself.

Other pairings considered were Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson, then Robert De Niro and Jessica Lange, and then Al Pacino and Meryl Streep, before its final incarnation of Nicholson and Ellen Barkin.

Awards – Nominee for the Razzie Award for Worst Actor (Jack Nicholson, 1993)